It was no less of a spectacle when she walked down the stairs and had breakfast in the Great Hall, where every single fucking person of the castle, right from guards to serving wenches, had their share. Irina thought she would choke counting the number of eyes in her direction, but to her surprise, she maintained a good composure throughout picking a decent amount of food on her platter.

Even a small gesture of presenting herself amongst the guards and servants of the castle seemed to be an unpleasant, tedious task. Of course, as usual, she could have made the maid bring food to her chamber. That was how her entire life revolved, away and deserted. At that moment, though, creating chaos brought amusement. To ruffle some feathers. To see how things would turn out if she'd behave differently with these lots, so there wouldn't be any pondering in the future if she gave her best.

Was she trying to get attention? Perhaps… She didn't know why, but she wanted everyone to give the gossip away right in front of her eyes and ears, rather to always wonder if they would say things behind her back.

Surprisingly, the result came better than she expected. Not within five minutes of taking a table, unbothered by any eyes, did a low rumble came from behind her chair.

"My lady!" Ser Quenton offered a smile, his hand behind his back. He was the man who taught her horse riding. She offered the gesture back, although not with the same enthusiasm as the man himself. He was probably taking pity on her. "If it's not a bother, shall I join you?"

"Please… It's a boring company to speak with empty chairs."

The man laughed, his mustache quivering in response to her bland jape. While for a long time, silence prevailed, and she was glad for him not asking any questions, slowly the table started filling, a few older men, probably knights who were under the command of Ser Quenton taking their fill of ale, to start ahead a new day.

"I am planning to send five more boys from the latest recruits to Dragonmont." A knight, roughly around in his forties, said to Ser Quenton. She didn't have a clue what his name was, but now and again, he directed a warm smile at her, making her feel not so unwanted or stupid among them.

"Lord Aegon doesn't want any new men around the lairs. That would do no good if they end up giving out details of those dragons or stealing eggs for themselves. Better to pick out from our old boys from the galleys. There is no need for them to wander about in the sea, now that the ports will be closed."

Dragons?… Odd way to address when there was only one old dragon–her father's, lying lazily in the lair. The knight nodded, throwing his glance at her side. "The ports will be closed?" She asked curiously.

"It's for the safety, my lady. We keep our guards high, for now." The knight said. Although she didn't respond, the back of her head wondered what loss closing the ports would cause to Dragonstone. It was a small island, not more than five thousand small folks living in it. It would mean nothing. Right?

"The boy Vyl…" Ser Quenton said, pulling her back to their conversation. At the mere mention of the boy's name, her heart swelled. Thinking about her old life and her old friends made her stomach flutter in joy. "He is thriving in the sea. Not a week ago, he managed to bring down the enemies on his own."

She coughed, choking on her food, eyes tearing up while hands searched for water, but the unnamed knight pushed her the ale mug and she swallowed it like a greedy cat. "What enemies are you speaking about?"

"The ones that attacked you and the other ladies. A few men are snooping in the territory, sniffing for attacking our fort. Some were caught by the Dragonmont and others by the shore, here." The knight answered, but his eyes tensed, seeing her panic. "We will protect you with our life, my lady. For the old lord and our young lord, I swear we will exact vengeance for what happened."

Suddenly her limbs went cold and frozen, her mouth stubborn enough to not draw any words to give a response. Irina just wanted to get out of the damned crowd. Not that she hated anything the knight said. He was sincere, loyal, and truly a good man, but hearing them speak about the assault blatantly made her feel so numb. How many of them came to know? Did Aegon try nothing to stop spreading the rumors? Awkwardly giving a polite smile, she left the place with her heels on fire towards the heart tree.

Cursing under her breath like forever, she spent her first day out like a sore loser, staring at the garden in front with no flowers. It was not maintained. The garden was unbothered and left alone to dry and die. But the curses helped in maintaining her sanity for a while, and she came back to the same place, the lonely tower, with no friends around. Her life was like a maze. She ran till her legs ached, taking all curves and paths to escape the enclosing prison, but in the end, the tower was waiting, broodingly, opening its arms to embrace her tiny form in mockery.

That day passed by and the next morning when she opened her eyes, purple orbs stared back at her, and she lunged for her father's dagger that was hidden beneath her pillow, mad fear lurching up her throat. Rhaenys had the curtsey to stifle a laugh and Irina fumed, clutching to the blade's hilt. Her mind was tricking her, teasing her, testing her to use the blade on the woman before, and put an end to all of her miseries.

Irina hadn't slept peacefully for a complete night in recent times, the tragic dreams haunting more and more. She couldn't look at anyone's face without feeling shame. It was one thing to kill a person and another to rip away dignity for the whole world to see, and that was what Rhaenys did. Not just when the Dothraki horse lord attacked Irina. Even before all those, Rhaenys had always been a trouble. The prospect of seeing blood oozing out from Rhaenys's neck gave a lustrous taste to her tongue. Rhaenys doesn't deserve to live… Her life is my bane.

"Are you going to stare at me the whole day?" Rhaenys asked, snapping Irina out of that trance, where she was madly resolved to do the right thing which her heart urged. That, of course, would be a terrible decision in the long run. Irina wouldn't be spared, not even in her birds.

"Have you got no sense to value my privacy? Oh, I forgot, when have you ever learned about valuing anything than your own stupid life?" She snapped like a mad dog and that made Rhaenys still, her mouth ajar, processing the way Irina's harsh words came out. Irina had never been mean to anyone, but now she couldn't stop hurting others if it was coming to boundaries.

"I am sorry. I will come at another time. When you are in a good mood and a good time."

That was even a change of personality from her sister. The Rhaenys, she knew, would have not taken any slight how much ever small it might be. "I don't want to see you ever again, Rhaenys! Spill your guts and leave me for good." She snapped again, probably the old festering wounds not sparing any mercy with her words.

Her sister was at a loss of words and Irina left to the bath chambers to refresh to get out of the foul mood by taking a long bath, all the while hoping Rhaenys would leave to hell, probably the birthplace where her sister had come from. But then Irina knew the confrontation was there. The more she drowned in water, the more she realized how fucked up her life became because of Rhaenys. Finally, after two hours or so, when she returned, Irina became meaner than before.

"Are you planning to take me to your new fuck toy, so he can rape and throw me into the sea? Tell me prior, so I will dress up for the occasion. To please all your fantasies."

Showing her back, she put on a newly stitched up dress, and after what felt like hours, Rhaenys gave an answer. "I am sorry." Irina chuckled, the feel of that word lost in her soul. Rhaenys had no heart to feel sorry for anyone. None in her family knew what it was to feel sorry for their misdoings. "That was never my intention, Irina. I only–" When Irina glared at her sister, at least Rhaenys had something close to shame to shut her mouth.

"You only wanted me to disappear. What a calculating plan you had? To bring your spiteful bed boy to take me East? That is not even the point, to begin with." Her heart sped up, beating, rage dancing through every small whiff of air that puffed out from her mouth. "You wanted me to get sold off as a slave. A heartless creature such as you–"

"I never wanted any of that." Rhaenys interfered, the pent up anger coming out through loud voice. Rhaenys had no right to hold any anger, in the first place. But if not wroth what my family is worth for?… "I had it in control until that idiot spoiled it by planning to take me."

"You had it in control?" Irina seethed, and Rhaenys slowly dropped the facade, clearly unbothered by the outrage. "What am I to you? Did you think I am a piece of trash to be thrown out when you dislike? Was there any day that I did wrong by you?"

Her sister rolled her eyes. "Quit your act, Irina. You were aware of my misgivings for you. This is not news for you to overreact. I just wanted you to be gone out of my sight. Does that make me heartless? Yes… But I don't cower behind lies. It is who I am."

Irina's eyes widened, and her jaw tightened, the fury never leaving her chest. That was one hell of an audacity for a woman who was evidently in less power. Am I missing something, again? If Rhaenys makes another plot, I will gauge her eyes out rather than having a civilized conversation, controlling my tongue.

The truth was slowly dawning on Rhaenys, and she instantly started fretting. "This was not how I wanted to speak with you. I… I just… went out of line. Will you forgive me?"

Irina chortled, taking a seat on the chair in front, supporting one leg on the other. She couldn't bring herself to speak with the creature before. It was all lost on her. The love to belong with her sister, the eagerness to be one among them, the enthusiasm in fighting to be a Targaryen, was all lost on her. Only bitterness was lacing as a thin veil between them.

"I never wish harm on anyone, you know." Rhaenys went on. "I want everyone to love me, praise me, and adore me. And I did the right things all the time." Rhaenys moved her eyeballs dramatically, trying to pull in a non-existing pain to her smoothened face. That ached Irina. While her sister remained flawless as ever, her whole body was battered to ugliness. Why should I pay the price of my sister's crimes? Why should I be the one to bear the scars of the evilness in this world?

Irina spat out of spite. "Like fucking behind your husband's back, so they will always love you? It worked very well. That bastard seemed to be unable to live without you, even when you threw him away once he became ugly for your taste."

Rhaenys flushed, as though speaking it aloud making her insulted. "I was no more the child that father loved more after you came to this world. And I felt insulted… angered and most of all, lost… to you. Of all people, I lost to you! You lived your life as a loser. Have you held anything worth in your life to know the pain of losing? How could you understand what it is to get loved and loose the same when you were never loved in the first place."

There it was… the Rhaenys she knew. The pang of pain in her heart reverberated throughout the air. "I was loved by father."

Rhaenys chuckled, her lips twisting in a royal mockery. "He loved your mother, and you grew up just to be like her. If you had been born with our father's colors, he would have not even bothered to sniff in your direction. You are just an extension of your mother, Irina. He just willed to bring back your mother through you."

Irina clutched her fingers so tight, to not let those words get into her head. It was not the truth. Her father had a soft spot for Irina in his heart because she was different than her siblings. He wouldn't have visited every day to her tower and said all his war tales and songs of Old Valyria, had he thought she was just an extension of her mother. But Rhaenys words slowly seeped to her head. She couldn't stop it. Many a time, her father had addressed her as Agnes. What was she supposed to do for that? Would he have loved less if Irina was not born with her mother's colors?

Gods… She hated this woman, who could spill poison even to the sweetest memory Irina held in heart.

"And don't try to guilt-trip of how me fucking behind my husband's back is different from him fucking you, behind my back. The whole castle knows he visits your chamber every night."

It was like someone hit her head with a hammer. Irina cleared her throat and turned her head away from Rhaenys's stare. She didn't want to show how much Rhaenys's words were affecting. It would prove her to be the fool. "That's not what he does with me. And he was never inside my chamber." She said calmly, uninterested in justifying. Why would everyone imagine he was sleeping with her? Now even the whole castle knew about it. Gods, she hated Aegon more than ever.

"Oh, sister! Don't take the role of the maiden now, when I know exactly how you are playing this game. It's a good tease for him and you will be rewarded well, but none of that changes from the fact that he has been looking at you or for a fact that he is just waiting to fuck you. It is just like how history repeats. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, you see."

Irina felt her skin crawling with worms. Game? Rewards? She squeezed her eyes before plunging her threatening glare pointedly at Rhaenys. "You dare to take moral high-ground here? You of all people, condescending of my actions? Don't slip another word that makes me mad, else I will rip your throat before you flick your lids. You destroyed me. And because of you, I feel less of a person every single day the sun rises. You gave me wounds that will never heal. I am barely licking my wounds in darkness because I came to save you from your idiotic mission, the one where you couldn't be even successful in throwing me away."

Irina didn't know how the anguish side of her agony slipped out. She didn't even want to show her emotional side. But that invoked something from Rhaenys, the first genuine one that she saw ever since that foolish conversation began. This wasn't going well. Not as she had expected. There was no power imbalance here. Rhaenys's eyes were getting moist, and she just hoped to let go of this old memory and give it a rest.

"I know how it feels." Rhaenys was suddenly weeping. Her tears were rolling down like pearls, down to her lap, hands shivering while reliving the memory. It was even sadder than Irina had assumed. In strange odd ways, Aegon came to comfort her, and Visenya did help her. In truth, Rhaenys was in need of all the care and love. "It is in my favor that Aegon doesn't visit my chamber." Irina curved her brow, shocked to hear that. "He will know… One kiss, one mere faintest touch of his finger on my body, he will figure out what has happened to me. I can't let him know. He will break the hells loose and…"

"He will find out about Terrance Celtigar." Irina finished, the empathy evaporating. Rhaenys's answers were not calming her mind. No one would break any hell loose for Irina, nor would they love her like Rhaenys was loved. Perhaps she herself should do the deed, rather than relying on others. With all the power… Yet, another hard truth was bothering her heart. About Aegon… Of where his love lied. It was getting clearer to her, more evidently and she couldn't run away from it.

"He would call me 'dragon lady'" Rhaenys interrupted her wave of thoughts. Looking down at the broken nails on Rhaenys's fingers, her sister sobbed. Irina realized this was not about Aegon. It was about Terrance Celtigar. "He always blathered about taking me to the mountains and keeping me for himself."

"Did you love him?" The words spilled, and she instantly regretted asking such a question. She hated them both, but curiosity was a monster.

"Of course, not!" Rhaenys said, so offended by that statement, and Irina became cautious of the creature before. "I loved that he loved me. It made me feel good about myself." Irina could have sworn her hand twitched a little, to give clout to her sister's ears. Was this why Rhaenys kept pleasing anyone she met? To always make them love her? "It is a blessing, you know. To have people love you. To have them devoted to you. To have them chant your name."

"And you think they won't expect the same back from you?" Irina asked. Because that was exactly why that moron Celtigar wanted to take Rhaenys back. Terrance was evil, but he was lost in his last minutes, his hopes drying up with the thought of losing Rhaenys. He was clinging on to any desperation to be with her sister. Irina remembered his voice all so well in her head.

"That's why I give them what they need… what they craved from me…," Rhaenys told, her purple eyes locking Irina's.

That was even more fucked up than the opaque reality where so far Irina had been imagining that Rhaenys genuinely liked having sex with them or she took an interest in those men she slept with. "Are you saying you slept with him because he was praising you?"

Rhaenys shrugged, casually. "This might sound crazy to you, but doesn't everyone like to be in bed with someone who adores them. I am damn well sure Visenya is the same as me. Why else Daemon still falls to her feet and worships her like a goddess?" A defense face graced Irina's skin, wanting Rhaenys to leave Visenya out of this conversation. She didn't know why she felt that. Probably, the curtsey of staying in her sister's chamber for a while must have made a difference. "Of course, Aegon loves me. But you see, he has been with me like forever. He has read me stories, bathed me as a child, played all silly games, and it's very difficult to hold on to vows to a man you have been practically running around ever since you started walking. Don't take me wrong. We had good times too when we were newly married. And I was determined and desperate to marry him, so I will not be sent out of Dragonstone and become invisible, siring children to fat lords. I did everything in my power to seduce him and turn him against our father, to fight for my hand. But when the marriage was over, the passion dried out. I fancied new things, different things, that excites me in bed. Just like how Aegon is trying with you now."

The last line dragged Irina out of bubbling volcano, her dress dancing in molten fire. "I am not his fancy new thing…" If only the words were fire…

"Be that as it may…" Rhaenys ignored, her newfound mockery clear in the whisper. "Visenya said you wouldn't rat me out to Aegon, only if I don't create a fracas for Aegon marrying you."

"Is this your own deranged interpretation to have gain control over this situation?" Irina snarled. "I am not that desperate to marry Aegon as you assume. He can marry a rock for all I care."

"Are you absolutely sure, Irina? Whatever trance you will him to succumb in, he will eventually fall in my feet, when this little tryst of yours gets over. Close your legs as long as you wish for Aegon to come behind you. Once he finds what's between, it will all be the same. And he will return to me. I have wrapped him around my finger, Irina. I was the first woman he tasted and I know when and how to pull the strings. Even Visenya with all her wrath could never get past me."

Irina gave a twisted smile, the intensity of Rhaenys's twisted mind sneering past her threshold. "You are a bitch, sister!" She spat, moving towards her vanity to take the brush, and the reflection of her sister's red face in the mirror gave her a first satisfying victory. "What? Did you think I would spare your arrogant ass if you dangle candies before my eyes? I am not here to make a deal with you. If you want me to not mind your indiscretion with other men…" She paused, staring back. "Before you plan on thinking about wiping out any evidence of Terrance Celtigar, I know that you are still sleeping with Andrix, the fiddler of our court. Even after all this riot, you are still seeking for the minstrel's company. So, save yourself from trouble. If you really want me to be quiet, then don't do anything to displease me." Leaning against the vanity, she crossed her arms to stare at the mouth gaped silver-haired woman who she hardly recognized or related to. "Even if so much as you sniff, I will know about it. And as unfair as it sounds, I don't think Aegon will be so charming to welcome you to his bed, with that cheating ass of yours."

Rhaenys rose, her knuckles clenched, jaw tight, not expecting such a clear declaration. Hell, even Irina was not aware of that courage. "This is how you want to play? Do you think I will cower behind your threats?"

A flock of birds flew right ahead of her sister's head, and Rhaenys fell on the cushioned chair, gripping the armrest in fear. "I saved your ass, the other day, even when I knew you were my enemy." Irina's voice dripped with poison-laced anger. "This is the least I expect of you. I give no warnings, Rhaenys. I killed all your friends, except that bitch Jirelle Crabb. So, don't think I make any empty threats. I don't need Aegon to make you feel sorry. I don't need anyone to make you regret it. I am strong enough to do my own bidding. Your dragon doesn't threaten me. You should know that by now."

That did the trick, and for the first time in Irina's entire presence in this world, she saw fear in her sister's eyes. Oh, how she wished to cherish that memory, hoping that horror-struck face would always be the one that she could relate to even for eons to come while thinking of Rhaenys.

Her life slowly started blooming with colorful flowers within a few days in the castle. Irina shared her breakfast along with the old Maester sometimes or with one of her father's old guards or Ser Quenton, whose not-so-subtle approach to initiate a marriage proposal, that horrified her. The old man taught her how to ride, for God's sake. He had lost his wife long back and had a son of his own. Long time back, while Rhaenys was planning to send Irina away, she seemed to have approached Ser Quenton to take Irina's hand. And the old man was plotting to make Irina as his wife, now that he was thinking she was a damaged property.

It sucked. Irina couldn't keep her food in the stomach, when he had asked, with so much curtsey. "I can wait for three more months, my lady. To know for sure, you don't carry another man's child. After which I can ask Lord Aegon's leave to take your hand, only if you agree. I don't want to force this on you."

She'd politely walked away from him, even though she'd wanted to chew his ears out. Such a hypocritical filth. His first wife had died, through whom he had a son of his own. What if I was really raped and bore a child? How was I responsible for that? Moreover, he was of her father's age. Had her father lived, he would have stabbed this man for so much as breathing in her direction. It was then she remembered Paxter, the good old man, who didn't have curtseys or false words that chanted praise. In fact, that old man had a grumpy mood that she often had a distaste for. She hadn't found him in the tower. Nor did she find Ser Horas, that vile creature. There were more guards, but she hadn't got in herself to know them.

Irina wished to know what happened to everyone. Alarra Massey, Paxter, Jirelle Crabb, and all the things in her past. Some part of her wanted to live in denial, the same denial that she had been living in for some time. Alarra's words rang a bell to her mind, every time she closed her eyes. "I am prisoner too". Did the girl return to her home safely? Why did she try to help Irina? To know and explore the truth would only wound her more, she knew. And for most of her time, she restrained from seeking out anyone or anything, except the Maester Gerard, who was kind enough to allocate simple duties because she had asked of him.

Aegon hadn't come to disturb her again, but he often graced with his easy smile, when she was trying to blend in and do something on her own. He was there, observing her silent display of courage when breaking fast with the household or while cursing the world by the heart tree, or not coming out of her chamber for a few days or while mixing the herbs with the Maester. He was always there around her, making her feel safe from a distance. She should be more than relieved. But even those gentlest displays of affection couldn't console her. Not even once she felt at peace, having to look at his face. She was only able to contemplate on Rhaenys's words that pronounced the truth loud and clear. Not just her words, her eyes opened to reality.

What did Visenya say when asked why she intended Irina to marry Aegon? "Because I know what you're capable of." It was clear as crystal when her heart reeled in reality. The reality where everything that Rhaenys said seemed to be perfectly true. She denied going to explore that part of her life.

The storm slowly started setting in, when the clouds raged that evening. Irina was in the rookery to tend the ravens. "The steward has retired, my lady. And the local shop-owners are not so happy with the ports being closed. A few of them demand compensation for the loss of trade in the sea. The accounts are blurred for us to settle for the needy." The Maester informed her of the incidents around the castle. She was also keen on learning what was happening.

The steward was one of the dead girls' father. Visenya had said the man blamed Irina for the girl's death. What had happened to him? "Why will they ask for compensation? They aren't the needy. Aren't the traders wealthy enough to fend for themselves? What will they do if we won't give compensation? It is not like they can run to non-war land here in this world." Irina asked.

"That is true, my lady." The Maester said in his bright voice. "But their taxes are filling our coffers more than the peasants'. It is wise to keep them happy."

"We resolve the issue without a fight, first," Aegon answered from the entrance of the rookery, his eyes having a storm of its own. "And if they don't understand, we use force."

Irina just wished he would disappear before barging in her life, before breaking her soul, before crushing the only trust she held onto. Oblivion and illusion was a comfort for her. She wasn't ready to face the truth. Truth had never given her peace. Every time truth came out, it came with a thunder shaking her roots. But he didn't leave. Once the Maester left them to their devices, Aegon stood observing her or more like condescending, his arms crossed, brows creased, as she fed corn to another raven.

"Did Visenya speak with you about the wedding?" He asked, very casually.

"No… Rhaenys mentioned." She replied, her hand already shaking. He was expecting her to ask more questions, but she was determined to shun away her happiness. She knew this happiness was just an illusion, that he was forcing on her to keep her sane.

"Are you consenting for the wedding?"

"Do I have a choice?"

His jaw opened, unexpecting of such a sharp response, but she had blurted out. He approached her slowly, with light footsteps, trying not to scare her off. "I will never force you to do anything that you don't want to." He answered. It was the sweetest thing she had heard. Like a sweet poison. And she gave an awkward smile, the one that didn't reach her eyes.

"Then I don't wish to marry you."

He was taken aback. He didn't expect this. Fuck, she hadn't expected to tell this. All she wanted in her life was to belong in this family, one way or the other. Not to run away from it. She was merely a love-sick fool, who craved for meager pieces of mercy. That girl had passed away. And the girl who stood before him was someone she herself could barely recognize. "Irina… Don't lie that your love for me is lost. Don't lie that you never felt the passion I felt while I wrapped myself around you. What did you do to the girl that loved to smile for roses? You have become so cold and I have no way to reach you. I know I failed in protecting you-"

"This has nothing to do with that, Aegon. You know it in your heart why I don't want to marry you. The feeling hasn't lost on me. You remaining far away has given me the perspective clear. I can see it all. Can you stop pretending like you actually care?"

He swelled with pain, his eyes turning dark. "There is only so much limit for my patience with you. I have no ways to prove what I feel for you if you lock me out from your life. Well, I won't force any woman to marry me. If you think I forced Visenya, you can ask her yourself. Rhaenys too, for that matter. I am giving you your freedom. But remember, it comes with a cost."

"I have paid my price deftly staying here. I want to risk taking the chance of my freedom." She replied curtly, a small act of defiance.

Aegon nodded, his head moving softly. But his knuckles were growing pale. "Fine. Don't curse me when I collect my due. You will learn whom you belong to when I put an end to your commotion." She hadn't expected such a harsh response. What would he do? He was not Rhaenys. Not the one to cower when challenged. The ever-loving, charismatic, sweet brother was replaced by a monster in its stead and she wondered how in the hells she fell for this monster. "Who is behind all this? Orys? Lord Massey? Who has the guts to come near you and oppose me?"

She chewed the sides of her cheek, letting him spew on his own. And to his credit, he was trying hard to be in control. To get over the obnoxious thoughts spurning in his head. She could sense it with the way his tightened knuckles not getting released or the creases on his brows not getting smoothened. In a way, she was enjoying the sight of his struggle. "Why do you assume I need a man behind me to do as I will?"

He laughed, his mocking voice sending chills down her spine. "You are no simpleton, Irina. I shouldn't be explaining this. But let me spill out the details. There is always going to be someone backing you. To take advantage of who you are, and what you are capable of. Or at least what's between your legs. I hate to admit, but you will always be a pawn. We all are… in one way or another. I am no exception, either. And the sooner you learn this, you will value my worth." He perked up his brow at her. "You make everything the hard way. Don't you?"

That question was leaping into her tight sprung chest. "You have never been true to me. You neither earned my love nor my trust. I gave it to you like a fool and got it broken beyond recognition. I will make the hardest way for you, Aegon."

He finally gave out on his anger, somewhat sensing the wrath growing on her heart. "Don't become this cold, desolate, cunning self, Irina. I have never wished harm on you." His long fingers brushed against her cheeks. "I know I have been selfish when it came to you. I won't deny it. Never have I hurt anyone and I did to you. And none of it for the right reasons." Irina sighed, realizing he was speaking about the marks on the shoulder. "Perhaps, everyone's true nature could only be tested when they are in power. And I am shameful that I failed you, in many ways." The confession was genuine, and she wanted to run away. Don't spill the truth… I like the sweet lies over the bitter truth. Just leave me be. Her eyes glistened, suffocated with the sobs that she tried so hard to bury. "But remember that I wanted you alive. You could contemplate every willful negligence and cruelty in my administrations over you. But that was political. You would have done the same when you sit on my chair. You can ask anyone you trust. Ask Visenya… Ask Rhaenys… Seven Hells, ask Orys… He will explain to you why I had to do." She couldn't stop the tears. It burst out, the betrayal breaking her tiny heart. She didn't think she could recover from this admission. That was why she never wanted to face it. She was seeing it all. The guards protecting the tower. The way he arrested her not to even let step out. It was all before her eyes, only she had shut the lids and refused to see it.

Her chest constricted while letting out the words. "You locked me up, Aegon. I was alone, scared, desperate to come out, and you lied… with so many words. With so many trinkets. You fed me bones like feeding a dog. You used my guileless nature to your advantage. You took advantage of my mind, of my body, of everything that belonged to me. I have never been broken like this. How could you do this and speak to me as though you are in the right?"

She yelled so loud, that the ravens fluttered in their cages, trying to come out. He didn't flinch for my words. He simply brushed away the hair that flew between her eyes. "Visenya asked me to give your hand to Orys. Rhaenys suggested me a long list of loyalists name to send you away. Do you think I ignored it because I wanted to feed you like a dog? I like you, sister. I tried too hard not to run behind women other than the ones I married. I never wanted to become like our father. I hoped to overcome the urges. But every time I tried, I only ended up failing."

"So…? If you have urges, then go visit a whorehouse. Why me? You promised me of love, the one thing yearned, the one thing you knew I was desperate of. You used it against me when you never had reservations of love in you to give me. Am I not right? Are you not in love with Rhaenys? Tell me if I am wrong. You wanted to fuck me, and so you kept me for yourself in the name of love."

"I have more than an urge to fuck you. I want to own you and keep you to myself. I cannot in my right sense let any man come near you. It tickles every muscle in my body to think of another man laying his hand on you. But yes, I love Rhaenys. Have I ever denied that?"

"You cannot love two people at the same time," Irina said glaringly. "That's not possible."

The corner of his lip curved slightly, a sad smile spreading. The wretched smile which made her almost pass out. The cruelty in that smile waved her a red flag of danger. He was flesh made of danger. She couldn't even contemplate where his lies had begun and where it had ended. Did it begin after she came from the woods? The memories started flooding, one after the other. The time when he kept investigating for information about skin changing skills in the woods, brushing his nose up to her hair, taking her into the isolated forest. Irina had been a fool. No, a simpleton, to have thought that he wanted to know her better. He'd only wanted to evaluate how dangerous she was for his claim. Was it the only time he had used treachery? No, it was the night before, when she had beaten up that Terrance and she remembered so vividly of him confessing his polite, soft love, coaxing her to stay in Dragonstone. Irina really thought it was true, genuine, and he'd wanted her to be there with him. It was all sandcastles that she had built along the shores. And it had taken more than a year for the ocean to claim it.

Nothing that came from his lips seemed to have an ounce of truth. He'd only wanted her to be locked up in the tower, so she wouldn't gain any allies to oppose him, to take his dragons, and so he'd concocted all lies. He'd learned her like learning a flower's scent, an animal's cry, a bird's chirp, not a human's feelings and she had let him in, to see her and feel her. She had given her body, soul, and everything bare to this man, naively assuming he was her brother and wouldn't harm her.

Irina fell down on her knees, then, the world swirling too much for her to stop spinning. The thought that he'd used her for his own benefits made her look like the simplest fool ever to live. He'd given a household from her own treasury and had made her feel like she was being spared of the expenses. Why hadn't no one taught me to see through this malice? I had let him get into me, seep into my flesh, and take anything he had wanted without any objection. Her skin was crawling with maggots at the thought of it.

Aegon leaned down, holding her hand, whispering apologies in air, speaking so many words about being right in his stance. Reasoning why he couldn't trust a skin-changer and how it was needed to protect his family, to save the Targaryen's legacy. He explained how it was their father's mistake for writing a damn will? She didn't need an explanation. Can a broken heart be fixed with mere words?

She cleared her sobbing throat. "When you took me from Orys's holdfast…" The anguishing cries rippled in the air for her to swallow the pain. "Why did you hurt me?"

Aegon fell silent for once, seeking residence into her eyes. "No one can take you from me. It is not about Dragonstone. It is not about politics. It has nothing to do with anything other than my own sick head to have you all for me. I wanted to punish you after learning that you left me on your wills."

That was even more fucked up. Which deranged creature would think that way? "Do you do that to your wives?"

He shook his head, as though he had awarded her with a trophy for being special. Her balled fist slapped his chest, trying to pour out a year of agony. She kept hurting her, hoping he would die there, slowly in agony as she was dying inside. "Why me? I promised I would give up everything to you. Didn't I? I gave you my words. Why did you have to hurt me? Why did you lie that you loved me only to keep me arrested? Why do you now break my heart? I was only a girl. I am still only a girl."

Aegon pulled her into his chest, deafening the sobs as she muffled into his leather tunic, biting it so hard to not leash out the darkest anger of hers in the wildest forms. But she couldn't. Irina simply wanted to escape the pain. The burning betrayal felt like a thousand bolts being stabbed into her chest. Not even the pain in her body that the monsters had inflicted, made her remorse like this. There were three hundred ravens around in that rookery and she switched beneath them, one after the other, and thudded against the steel cages, screaming of pain and wrath for what felt like hours. She had passed out then. Her limbs were numb, the birds were tired, and she'd lost some fire inside. When she woke up in Aegon's chamber, he was closely looking at her through his half-lidded eyes.

He lurched to the bed, at the slightest movement of her body, and helped her sit up. "Drink this!" He offered water, and she threw it to the floor. Even tasting the breath of him made her shudder.

"What is your sick plan now? To rape me? Or to kill me?"

He flinched for the word. "I would never force on you, nor had I ever forced on you."

She couldn't deny what he said and that hurt more. She was never forced. She just did that to herself. Allowed him inside and let him break her, take her friends away, hold her up in a prison, and let her become his play toy. She couldn't stop crying. She lost the fight even before it began. How to assemble these pieces of burden and endless pain?

Wrapping her in a cuddle, he made her cheek rest along with his heart and pulled her down to the soft feather bed. Each muscle of his body was trying to cover her as he pulled her on top of his body. Irina was too numb to feel anything other than to hear the beat of his heart, as he wholly tried to consume her in his embrace.

"Why did you do this to me, Aegon?"

"I feel more than lust for you, Irina." He traced his left palm all over her spine, as the fingers of his right hand wove into her splayed hair. "That has nothing to do with you being a warg or not. It's beyond explanation. There is a pull in you and I can't get out of that charm. And I like falling into it. You caught my attention, the day you fell into the ocean. I have never seen such stupid bravery commit by anyone. And I couldn't sleep for days thinking of the girl who fell from a cliff and managed to throw away all my men from their saddle. I just wanted her for myself. A treasure… for me."

She stayed still, just focusing on the beat of his heart. "Will you let me go?"

His hand stilled, and he shook his head. "Not without a war. If you want that and see your family die in your hands, you can choose that path. That will be the price you pay."

"You are scared that I will win."

"I know you will win." He answered, shutting his eyes close.

"I could kill you this minute, Aegon."

"Try then! The girl I knew would weave flowers on her hair, not take a blade in her hand."

"You killed that girl."

There was silence there, and she kept focusing on his heartbeat against his ribs, that held her from wandering into the depth of darkness in every passing second, wondering if she could pluck out that heart from his ribs. The beat was soothing her, and she loosened her fist that held his shirt and peeked her head to see his hard face, that almost resembled her father, Lord Aerion. Kind and charming, with no evilness in his head, he seemed so peaceful and harmless.

Would I be ever able to kill this man and live peacefully? I couldn't even kill Rhaenys. How could I kill him when a part of me still loves him? Do I have the power in me to fight against my family and see them die? What kind of life will I live after killing them?

She knew this was a lost fight. She'd lost the war before it began. The last hope for her was to make the best out of this trail and gain something better than being a prisoner. But she swore to herself never to fall for his charm. Guard her heart to never let anyone inside. It was all her mistake, to trust easily, to love easily, to get wounded easily too. The harshest lesson that this cruel world had taught her. She wouldn't repeat the same mistake again. She just wanted to live a better life. A respectable one where random old men wouldn't ask for her hand, questioning her virtue.