Well I know it's been some time and I also know a lot happened with Jaggie. But you know, that's what fanfic is for! Times like these! So with the Quarantine and me drinking wine, this is what I come up with. I hope you enjoy and please stay safe!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but if I did…we wouldn't have to fantasize what could happen on screen, it would happen!

"Maggie, let's discuss that statement. Who or what do you feel rage at?" Dr. Allen inquired.

Maggie sat for a moment pondering Dr. Allen's question before allowing herself to speak, "That day was perfect. Jackson and I were ready to start discussing baby names, we were settling in to the fact that our children were growing and they were healthy. I was watching Jackson in surgery and then I was called down to the ER and it all went to hell."

Dr. Allen made some notes and then met Maggie's eyes, switching to an extremely soft voice, "Maggie, are you prepared to talk about that day in the ER? It's ok, if you don't want to or don't feel up to doing so. We can stop if you want to, but what I want you to know is that holding this all inside is not good for you."

Maggie wiped her tears with the back of her hand before nodding, "I was called down to the ER and she was there. The way she looked at me was…," Maggie could see Iris' face clear as day as she continued, "pure rage. She hated me. When she saw that I was pregnant, I thought she would kill me. I thought…" the sentence caught in Maggie's throat and her lip quivered, "I thought she was going to kill me, me and my babies," Maggie began to cry, "she hated me. She hated them and there is no doubt in my mind that she would have shot me and that's why, I did the only thing I could do."

"And how do you feel about that?"

Maggie wiped her eyes, "I feel like I did what I had to. I'm not sorry about it. I can't be sorry about it, because I had to make a choice and my choice was my life and my babies' lives and I think that makes me a terrible person," Maggie hiccupped as she put her head in her hands. She felt Dr. Allen take a seat next to her, touching her shoulder.

"You're not a terrible person for choosing to survive."

"But now? I don't care if she lives or dies. What about that? She's no threat to me while she's in a coma, but I don't care if she takes another breath. That's what scares me. She's in the place where I work and when I stepped through those doors—I hoped that I would no longer have to worry about her," Maggie continued, "her mother loves her. Her parents love her, but I am sitting here wishing that their daughter was dead. What kind of person does that make me? I was never this type of person."

"Well Maggie, things are different now. You have two lives inside of you that you want to keep safe along with yourself. The anger that you feel is normal, but you can't allow it to consume you. Do you want to harm Iris now?"

Maggie shook her head vigorously, "I just don't want to hear about her or see her anymore. I want to pretend that she doesn't exist. I want to put all of this behind me."

"She's still unable to be moved to another hospital?"

Maggie sighed loudly, "Yes."

"Then we have to figure out how you are going to deal with this reality," Dr. Allen answered touching Maggie's hand.

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The door to his lab opened and Jackson immediately smelled faint traces of Maggie's perfume and a smile immediately spread across his face, "Hey," he turned to see her walking in and plopping down her bag on his table.

"Hi," she answered with tired eyes and a less than enthused tone.

Sliding off of his stool, he met her halfway and wrapped his arms around her body, rubbing her back gently, "So the session with Dr. Allen went well," he frowned.

Maggie shook her head, "It was fine, I guess. I admitted to still hating Iris and wishing she would die—so who knows when I will be cleared to come back to work."

"Well what you're feeling is normal, but maybe—you need to take some extra time, you're about to give birth soon."

"Jackson, I'm not due for awhile and there are things that I need to do here. I'm the head of Cardio and I've been out of commission for over a month now. Who knows who's gunning for my position and the fact that when I do have the children, I will be out for a couple months longer—I need to be around."

Jackson rubbed her arms reassuringly, "No one will take your position."

"Why?" Maggie raised an eyebrow.

Raising an eyebrow, Jackson answered, "Umm because if your position somehow gets filled while you are on a leave of absence because a crazy woman entered the hospital and held you captive while you're pregnant would give you grounds to sue the hell out of this place."

Maggie chuckled poking him in the chest, "And I would."

"That's my wife," Jackson concentrated on her lips for a few moments before capturing the bottom one between his sucking for a moment, "mmm…I do miss meeting up with you in our labs, the locker room, the showers…" he drifted off kissing her on the neck.

Maggie giggled while pushing him away gently, "Very funny Avery, but going back to Dr. Allen—it helped a little, I do feel a little lighter believe it or not."

"That's good."

Maggie took a deep breath, "And I actually think that maybe you should make an appointment to speak with her."

Jackson's eyebrows knitted together, "Why would I need to talk to her?"

Maggie touched Jackson's cheeks. He'd put on a brave front when she's around, but she knew that day with Iris was scary for him. She didn't remember much after she shot Iris, but she remembered Jackson's eyes. They were fixed on her, but there was inward scream behind them. Seeing Iris holding a gun on her and then her breakdown, it had to wreck him. He'd been strong for her, but there had to be a part of him that wanted to yell, wanted to scream or at least a part of him that needed to talk about what happened with someone who wasn't family or a friend. She took a deep breath, "Because I know that what Iris did also affected you. She was your patient and watching what happened that day, it wasn't easy for you. I know it wasn't."

"Maggie, I'm fine. You're fine, our children are fine, I'm fine," Jackson brought her into a hug.

"That's a lot of fines Avery and that doesn't convince me," Maggie whispered.

He held onto her tightly, "Don't worry about me Maggie, whatever I felt all of those weeks ago has been replaced with excitement. Our children will be here in a few weeks, nothing else matters right now," he kissed her on the forehead before turning back to his computer.

Maggie watched him for a few moments biting her lip, "You know, almost a year and a half ago, I was in an operating room working on a man's heart. I saved him," she chuckled humorlessly, "after I operated on him, saving his life, I found out that he was the man that almost snatched you and Richard from me. I was so angry. I found myself standing outside of his hospital room watching him thinking that if it wasn't for me, he would have died and maybe that's what he deserved. He didn't mean to hit you and Richard, but I still felt anger towards him. Iris…she was your patient. You have to be angry with her for what she did. She came into this hospital…" Maggie stopped as she felt a coldness come over her just thinking about that day, but she pressed on, "and she held a gun on me. Your wife who is pregnant with your children and threatened us. You have to be angry about that, Jackson. That anger has to be somewhere," she touched his hand steadying it from moving the mouse on the mouse pad, "and you can't bury it any deeper because things like that will come back to the surface.

Jackson hung his head for a few moments before turning to face Maggie, "Maggie, what do you want me to do?"

She smiled softly, "It's not about what I want you to do, it's what you need to do for yourself. You've been through a lot this year and a half and so have I, but talking to someone about it may be the best thing for you and for our family," she took his hands placing on her belly, "don't we want our children to have two parents that have dealt with their stuff and are ready to be the strongest they can be for the best of them?"

Jackson looked from his hands placed on Maggie's stomach and then up to her eyes, "Ok."

Maggie smiled bringing him into a hug, "I love you," she whispered as he tightened his hold on her.

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"Dr. Avery, welcome," Dr. Frederick Tolson opened his door to Jackson after a wait of 10 minutes. After promising Maggie that he would come for a session with another psychologist in the hospital, he almost walked out of the waiting room 10 times before the doctor opened the door for him.

Jackson wouldn't say that he didn't exactly need to talk to a therapist or someone about his life. Being the grandson and son of world renowned surgeons brought its own issues and when you add in a child dying shortly after their birth, being abandoned by that child's mother, becoming a father unexpectantly with his ex-wife in between a few near death experiences, falling in love, almost dying and almost losing his career, getting married, expecting twins, watching his wife in a hostage situation, witnessing her shoot her the person holding her hostage who happened to be his former patient and standing by helplessly as his wife had a breakdown—perhaps he did need to speak to a professional.

"Call me Jackson," he mumbled sitting down on the couch realizing that he was actually doing this.

"Sure, so what brings you here Jackson?" Dr. Tolson asked sitting down in the chair next to the couch.

"A promise to my pregnant wife," Jackson answered truthfully.

Dr. Tolson nodded before writing a note, "What did you just write there?" Jackson peered over.

The psychologist glanced up at him over his plastic square glasses, "The date," he deadpanned, "and your name."

Jackson sat back with a silly grin, "Oh ok, well," he cleared his throat, "a couple of things happened over the last couple of months and my wife thinks that I should talk to someone about it."

"Uh, huh…how about you tell me about the things that happened…start at the earliest event."

Jackson nodded rubbing his hands on his jeans, "Well a little over a year and a half ago, I was driving with my mother's husband on the way to the airport to pick her up. I don't really remember what happened and I may never know, but our car was t-boned and I suffered some head injuries. I had swelling and needed surgery. I was in a coma for a couple of days and when I woke up, I had a hand tremor."

"A tremor? You're a surgeon correct?"

Jackson nodded, "The tremor was actually pretty bad. The surgeons said that I would need physical therapy to eliminate the tremor."

"So let's talk about that for a moment, what did it feel like for the grandson and son of great surgeons to have a tremor and be faced with the possibility of never performing surgery again. Your wife is a surgeon as well, correct?"

Jackson felt his chest constrict. The question brought up feelings of anger, sadness and fear—the thoughts had plagued him since the accident and he realized the tremor. He'd buried the feelings and now he had to confront them, "It was never an option for me."

"What do you mean?"

"I was going to be a surgeon again, no matter what it took. You said yourself, I am an Avery and failure was not an option," Jackson stated firmly.

Dr. Tolson begin scribbling on his pad, "And before you ask, Jackson…I'm writing a note to myself that we may need more than the 3 sessions that you initially signed up," he glanced up.

Jackson leaned back into the couch, "Oook."

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Maggie carried in a bottle of wine, three glasses of red liquid and a big bowl of popcorn into the living room where Meredith and Amelia were sitting on the couch. "I know that you will be giving birth soon, but Maggie I doubt red wine is advised," Meredith's eyes went wide.

"You are having wine," Maggie handed them the glasses, "Me and Amelia are having grape juice, pretending its wine."

"Poor Maggie," Amelia pouted.

"It's only a couple of weeks and then I will start to have my body back. I am soo excited!" Maggie grinned, "I would say that I am looking forward to sleeping on my stomach again, but these two won't let me sleep when they're out anyway—so why dream?"

Meredith gave her a sympathetic smile, "So how's therapy going?" Amelia asked.

"Good actually, I'm talking about some things that I never thought to bring up. But she has complimented me on how far I've come from the stories I've told her. My commitment issues, my second guessing my personal life…living for the moment? Dr. Allen thinks that I'm coming along well."

"Have you spoken about Iris much?" Amelia took a handful of popcorn.

"Some…I'm working on my anger where she is concerned…"

"I still hate her guts," Amelia mumbled, "I just forgave Meredith for saving her."

"Hey, I saved her for Maggie—no one else," Meredith defended herself.

"And I appreciate it. As much as I hate her and what she did, her dying by my hand that day—I think it would have been too much for me. But Dr. Allen thinks that I should do this exercise and I think I will do it."

Meredith sipped her wine, "What does she suggest?"

"That I write a letter to Iris. I don't need to actually give it to her or anything, I just need to write it—get my feelings out, confront her in a way you know. She doesn't think that it will take away all my anger, but it's a good start for sure," Maggie sipped her juice.

"How do you feel about her?"

Maggie took a deep breath, "Some days, I hate her for everything she did. I hate that she took a kind act by Jackson and turned it into a reason to terrorize us. Then there are other days lately, when I pity her. She went through her entire life until having her surgery being stared at, made fun of, people trying not to look at her. Then she actually gets someone to take notice of her and it's Jackson. I mean, he is handsome and nice…he took an interest in her, medically and I think she got all confused. It's sad."

"I don't feel sorry for the crazy bitch," Amelia took a sip of juice.

Maggie laughed as Meredith shook her head, "Don't get me wrong, I don't want her to get away with what she did at all. I also am not saying that I understand why she would come into a hospital to either a) shoot herself in front of her doctor or b) shoot his pregnant wife—I'm just saying that she was a woman with a lot of problems and I see how she got to this point."

Meredith shook her head, "She was going to shoot herself in front of Jackson?"

"That's what she told me and I never told anyone that, not even Jackson. He puts up a good front, but I know he blames himself for what happened and that extra little tidbit probably won't help matters."

"I doubt it would," Meredith breathed out.

"But going to Dr. Allen is helping and I am going to write that letter. I don't know if I will give it to Iris or anyone, but I believe it will help me."

Amelia wrapped her arm around Maggie, "Our little Maggie," she squeezed tightly.

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Maggie kicked her shoes off at the door as soon as she stepped in the penthouse. She could hear some jazz playing upstairs. She smiled placing her bag on the couch and made her way up the stairs. When she reached the hallway, she found Jackson in the nursey putting the finishing touches on the walls…pictures of their family and friends holding up signs Welcoming the Babies to the World. Maggie had passed on a baby shower after all that happened over the last couple of weeks and was relieved that it wouldn't happen. She'd had enough excitement over the past year. "This room…we pulled it together," Maggie smiled looking around at the pastel yellow walls with the baby animal border spreading around the room, the two white cribs, changing tables and closet full of clothes that the children wouldn't wear even half of.

Jackson turned around as he placed the photo of his mother and Richard holding their signs together, "Hey Babe and we did," he came over kissing her on the cheek.

Maggie walked over taking a seat in one of the rocking chairs holding on to one of the stuffed bears that the interns had gifted the twins, "How was your session with Dr. Tolson?"

Chuckling, he turned to her, "No need to beat around the bush huh?"

She laughed, "Well…"

"He told me that I need more than the 3 customary sessions," Jackson breathed out, "and he's not exactly wrong."

"Seeeee it's helpful, told you."

Jackson walked over and kneeled down in front of the rocking chair, "You were right, you always are."

Maggie gasped, "Wow, Jackson Avery is admitting that I am always right? Therapy really is working wonders."

"Ha, ha," Jackson smiled bringing her into a kiss.

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"I thought Jackson would come with you this time," Carina helped Maggie slid off of the exam table the next afternoon.

"He had emergency surgery, trust me…being that this may be the last visit, he wanted to be here," Maggie slid on her jacket.

"Yes…" Carina furrowed her eyebrow.

"What?" Maggie asked.

"I'm not too happy about your blood pressure at the moment."

"Carina…"

"Maggie, we are going to keep an eye on it but if it continues to move into the danger zone, we may think about bringing those two bambinos into the world a little earlier," Carina smiled gently, "but even if that does happen, their lungs are developed enough that I won't be too worried. I would prefer they grow just a tad bit more though."

"You hear that, you two need to relax for awhile and so do I," she rubbed her stomach gently.

After leaving Carina's room, Maggie rode the elevator to the 6th floor and walked into the gallery where she found Catherine observing Jackson and his team working on a chest graft of a man who was in a car accident.

"Hello You!" Catherine smiled widely patting the seat next to her which Maggie filled, "how you doing?"

"A little tired, but good. I had an appointment today with Carina and thought I would stop up here to watch Jackson."

Catherine nodded, "He's doing some great work down there."

"Well of course, he's your son."

Catherine closed her eyes for a bit and then chuckled, "Those twins are going to be surgical geniuses. Just think about the surgical skills flowing through their veins. The only question is what specialty they will take up."

Maggie gasped as she touched her stomach, "I think one of them already has chosen a specialty and it might be yours, they just kicked me."

"Is that right, little one?" Catherine touched Maggie's belly gently, "that suits me fine."

Maggie sighed happily as she looked down at Jackson working and then she frowned, "I miss it so much."

"What?"

"Surgery. It's been a couple of months since I stopped and I think this is the longest time I've been away from an operating room since I first started."

"You will get back there very soon."

"I know, I just hope it's soon. I can't wait to see the babies but I don't want my life to turn into only being a mother to them. I don't know if that's selfish or what, but it's just…"

"Natural. Maggie, you can and will be both. Sure, at first, I bet you won't want to leave their side but after time, you will get that hunger and you will step inside that OR again," Catherine took her hand and squeezed it.

"Let's hope so," Maggie breathed out as she caught a glimpse of Jackson smiling at her from the room below.

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"So Jackson, let's discuss some of the subjects that we've talked about over the past couple of sessions. Specifically, the issue of failure not being an option for you as an Avery. Is that what you decided or do you believe it was decided for you by others?" Dr. Tolson asked.

Jackson knew that question would surface at some point and he had thought about the answer that he was prepared to give multiple times, "I decided it, I guess."

"Hmm…why do you think so?"

He shrugged, "My family, they don't necessarily believe in giving up, so why should I? It's just not in my make up."

"That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself."

"It motivates me."

"Uh, huh and how has it worked out for you?"

Jackson leaned back, "Well I'm a successful surgeon, I have a beautiful and smart wife, I have a daughter who lights up my life and two children on the way…I would say, that I've done pretty well for myself."

"So no failures?"

Jackson shrugged, "Not any that mattered."

Dr. Tolson wrote for a few moments as Jackson watched him, "The dissolution of your first marriage, you didn't see that as a failure?"

Jackson took a deep breath leaning back into the couch, "Me and April, we…we didn't fit in a marriage. We were friends, we are friends and that's probably all we should have been."

"I see…and now, you have a good marriage with a woman who is more your equal?"

"Yes, Maggie is…she's everything to me. It wasn't a relationship that I expected, but when I fell in love with her…I learned something about myself."

"Which was?"

"That maybe I'm not as smart and not as cute as I think I am," Jackson smirked.

"So your wife, Maggie..."

Jackson smiled widely.

"Do you feel like you failed her that day in the hospital ER?"

Jackson's smile faded, "What?"

"The day your former patient came into the ER and held your wife hostage, do you think you failed her?"

The temperature in the room increased as Jackson felt a stirring in his stomach, "I didn't know…"

"But she was your patient, you knew about all of her actions against you. Her hate for your marriage and her obsession with you. Is there a part of you that feels as if you failed her?"

Jackson stared back at Dr. Tolson as the moments flickered in his mind of that day in the ER, "I…"

Dr. Tolson looked at him expectantly.

"Maybe…maybe I did. I did," he nodded, "well a part of me believes that I did. I'm her husband. Iris was my patient and I was supposed to…protect Maggie, protect our children and I didn't. I hate that I didn't do enough. I hate that I wasn't the one in that room. That I couldn't protect her, that all I could do is standby and watch. I could have stopped all of this, if I had just listened to my gut, it never would have happened."

"You're angry?"

"Of course, I am!" Jackson stood up, "I could have lost Maggie, our children! Of course, I'm angry! I brought Iris into our lives and she tried to destroy it."

Dr. Tolson motioned for Jackson to take a seat and he did, plopping down on the couch running his hands over his face, "And that is what we need to talk about now—your anger and how you should deal with it. But trust me Jackson, what you are feeling is normal and I would be very worried, if you didn't feel this way," Dr. Tolson reassured him.

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Every time I think about that day in the emergency room of the hospital, my heart stops beating for a few moments. My breath hitches and tears appear in my eyes—I'm back in that room staring at you, you with the hate in your eyes holding a gun on me. I'm forced to make a decision between you, my life and my children's lives and it was one that I didn't take a second to think through.

Earlier that morning, me and Jackson were thinking about names for our children and by that evening, my husband was sitting by my hospital bed holding me while I wept hysterically. You took a day that was filled with happiness, a milestone for us and turned it into one of the worst days of our lives. You created a vision in your mind…a fantasy…that you were the jilted lover or romantic aspiration for my husband and you were willing to threaten me to make that known. I was angry and frightened and I did the only thing I could.

Maggie's hand began to shake as she placed the pen down and breathed out. This was the 8th time that she started to write this letter and the 8th time that she stopped when she got to that point. The problem was she didn't know what to say and honestly, she didn't want to say anything to Iris. She wished that she could just disappear.

Closing her eyes, Maggie breathed deeply rubbing her stomach slowly rocking in the chair.

"Hey, I see you were busy downstairs," Jackson entered the nursery.

"I came home from the hospital and thought I should use some of the extra energy to cook dinner," she held out her hands so Jackson could help her up, "how was therapy?"

Jackson sighed, "Enlightening, but it's helping. What about your letter?"

Maggie matched his sigh, "Not good, I keep getting stuck. I just want to finish before I give birth. I don't want to bring these bad feelings into motherhood."

"Maggie, don't rush it," Jackson rubbed her back, "the words will come, don't stress out about it."

"You're right," Maggie smiled kissing him on the cheek.

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Three days later, Maggie woke up to the sudden urge to pee. At this point, she was up peeing every 3 hours. She was getting up so much that Jackson usually slept through her constant shuffling to the bathroom. She blindly walked towards the bathroom and took her usual seat on the nice heated toilet seat. Once she finished, she stood up and immediately felt a sharp pain in her abdomen. She doubled over leaning on the edge of the sink for a moment trying to catch her bearings and that's when she saw the red droplets on the floor puddling at her feet, "Jack…" she breathed heavily as she focused on what she was seeing and allowed her brain to register it. As another pain hit, nearly bringing her to her knees, she found her voice again, "Jackson!" she screamed into the darkness of their adjoining bedroom.

Jackson heard Maggie's voice shake him violently from his dreams and he leapt out of bed rushing to the bathroom, where Maggie sat on the floor with blood trailing down her legs.

Well those twins may be making an appearance sooner than later.

Thank you for reading and please show your love/like for this chapter. I promise that another update won't be far behind.