TW- hospital visit.
Slowly the sounds of the ICU flooded into Matt's ears sending shivers down his spine, but once he registered the warm weight on his chest all of his worries melted away. He opened his eyes and smiled softly at his sleeping son, before turning his attention to the man sat in the chair beside him. The other man was yet to notice that he was wide awake; Kelly was too focused on the crossword in his hand. But Matt didn't mind in fact he loved being able to sit and watch Kelly. He loved the way Kelly would mouth each question before furrowing his brow in concentration; most of all Matt loved the bright spark that appeared in Kelly's eyes every time his mind supplied an answer.
"Hey" greeted Kelly when he noticed to blue eyes observing him.
"What are you doing here? I thought Boden dragged you back to the hotel for the night" questioned Matt softly. The blonde greatly appreciated Boden's presence over the past few days even if he didn't show it. Even after so many years of working with Boden Matt still found himself wondering why the other cared so much. His own parents never gave a damn about him, so why did Boden? Kelly always told him not to dwell on it too much but some days Matt couldn't stop himself. What did Boden see him that his parents didn't? Matt's sullen trail of thought was interrupted by Kelly flashing him a mischievous grin.
"I escaped" Kelly responded and for the first time in over a week Matt found himself chuckling.
"How long have you been sat there?" He inquired as his eyes darted to the clock on the far wall, it was only eight am.
"A few hours now" admitted Kelly and there was something unreadable in his expression that made Matt frown.
"I'm surprised the nurses let you in that early",
"I used my wonderful charm" Kelly smiled causing Mat to roll his eyes, his previous worries completely forgotten. Maybe if Matt had questioned Kelly further the other man would've told him the truth, that the nurses allowing Kelly in so early had nothing to do with his charm but everything to do with the fact he turned up with tears streaming down his face after a night plagued by nightmares. Matt would never know how Kelly's optimistic views had briefly slipped away or how it took Boden holding him a strong hug to bring his mind back to reality. Matt would never know how broken Kelly had been but maybe somethings are better off being kept secret.
A few hours passed by and Matt found himself alone, even though he knew Kelly would be back in less than five minutes he found himself craving the others mans presence. They'd barely spoken to each other since their conversation in the morning ,as both men were too tired to think straight but there was something about being in the same room that was incredibly comforting.
"Dad" a small voice called suddenly bringing Matt out of his thoughts.
"Right here Kiddo" soothed Casey gently moving Sonny so the young boy's eyes locked with his. The teens eyes were filled with confusion and he kept moving his head as if he was searching for something. As the boy reached for his IV Matt gently grasped the the boy's wrist, he'd acted fast as he'd been anticipating the action.
"Leave that alone Sonny it's making you better " comforted Matt but the teen wasn't concentrating, the boy's eyes darted around the room before he uttered one word which tugged Matt's heart strings.
"Oh Sonny he's fine, he's in the bathroom, I'm not surprised after the five cups of coffees he's had already" chuckled Matt in an attempt to lighten the mood but instead a look of sadness swept across Sonny's face.
"Messed up" choked out the boy as he realised where they were.
"No Sonny it's ok, don't worry about any of that now" comforted Matt but Sonny continued to shake his head.
"Weak" cried the boy and Matt felt his heart shatter.
"No Sonny you're the strongest kid I know" Matt assured as he gently rubbed Sonny's back. However the boy continued to repeated the heartbreaking word while tears streamed down his face.
"You're a fighter just like your dad" announced a voice and Matt felt Sonny's body relax.
"Thought left" mumbled the boy his voice barely above a whisper. Instinctively Kelly positioned himself on the edge of the bed and gently stroked the boys arm.
"You're never getting away from me kid",
"Messed up" cried Sonny his eyes full of pain that made Matt feel sick.
"I'm going to let you into a secret" began Kelly and both Matt and Sonny gave Kelly a questioning look.
"We need you a hell of a lot more than you need us" admitted Kelly, but he knew the little boy would never know how true his words were.
One night Kelly had been busy tidying up the living room after a hectic day with three year old Sonny. It had been just him and the little blonde as Matt was covering for the truck lieutenant on third shift. Fear had cascaded over Kelly when he was interrupted by the phone ringing, most of the call was a blur to Kelly the only thing his brain had registered was the fact Matt was in hospital. Frantically he'd called Cindy Herman but unfortunately she didn't answer and Hallie was busy on shift, not wanting to waste any time searching for someone to look after Sonny Kelly picked up Sonny and wrapped him up in a pale blue dressing gown before heading for the hospital. The little boy was still fast asleep and holding tightly onto his plush toy rabbit.
After speaking to a doctor who informed him Matt was being seen to Kelly was left standing in the middle of the ER with a sleepy Sonny resting on his hip. One of the nurses had recognised Sonny and offered to take the little boy while Kelly waited for more information on Matt but the boy had clung tightly onto him, which Kelly was secretly relieved about. The little boy was the only think keeping him from breaking down.
"Where's daddy?" the little boys voice was so quiet Kelly almost missed it.
"He's not feeling very well but the doctors are going to make him all better" informed Kelly as he forced a smile. Kelly was struggling to hide his panic but he knew he had to remain calm for the Sonny's sake.
"Ok" mumbled Sonny resting his head on Kelly's shoulder as he struggled to stay awake.
"Should we go see if we can find your mummy?" Kelly asked softly but he was pleasantly surprised when the boy shook his head.
"Me and Robbie stay with you" insisted Sonny as held onto Kelly with one hand and tightly clutched his toy rabbit with the other.
"Ok sunshine". For years after that night Kelly had wondered if the little boy had been able to sense how much he'd needed him.
After an hour of sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair with a sleeping Sonny nestled tightly against him, he had finally spotted Hallie walking towards them with a calm expression. Kelly had suspected she'd been keeping a close eye on Matt's case. The woman knelt down in front of them and gently rubbed Sonny's back. As Kelly's heart thumped violently in his chest he found himself comforted by the sound of Sonny's soft snores.
"Matt's in the clear, he'll be back on duty in no time" she informed happily and Kelly felt the weight of the world lift off him, his soul mate was going to be ok.
"Can I see him?" he asked eagerly.
"Of course" she responded but before either one of them could say anything else Hallie's beeper went off.
"I'm needed with another patient, I'll see you soon", she delicately pressed a kiss onto Sonny's forehead before heading down the empty hallway. Kelly knew she wanted to stay but he understood that duty always came first.
"Bye Hallie" Kelly called out. Steadily he lifted himself up off the chair, he was careful not to jostle Sonny too much. He took a deep breath before following a kind nurse to Matt's room. A lump formed in his throat when his eyes landed on Matt lying in the hospital bed, their life seemed to be full of hospital visits and it was days like this he considered leaving fifty one for good but he knew that would be impossible, after all it wouldn't be leaving a job it would be leaving a family.
"Hey" greeted a weak voice and Kelly almost jumped in shock, he had been so caught up in worry he hadn't even realised the blonde was awake.
"What are we going to do with you?" Sighed Kelly as he perched himself on the edge of the bed.
"Hug?" Matt asked sheepishly causing Kelly's tension to disappear. Delicately he placed Sonny in Matt's arms before lying down next to them. It was incredibly snug and they were probably violating a lot of rules but it was what Kelly so desperately needed.
"I love you" murmured Matt as he held onto his boys.
"Love you too" breathed Kelly no longer feeling like a knife was dangling over him, he never wanted to live in a world without Matt.
"We're going to get through this Sonny, we always do" assured Kelly as he gave the teens arms a squeeze. They were broken and bruised but they were a family and they always would be.