A/N: SORRY...I actually forgot how long it's been since I updated. This chapter is really short, it's more of a filler really.
Hermione was sprawled on a hotel bed, trying to find the will to live.
She hadn't done anything in a… week? 2 weeks? Heck, it could even be a month. She couldn't remember. The hotel… was more of a motel, something in between a hotel and an apartment. It was decent, but she really didn't care about that part.
She had decided, at Harry's house, the night they had discovered Ginny's disappearance, that she had to leave. The Death Eaters were obviously tracking her, and targeting people close to her. So, without a single word to Harry and Ron, except informing them of her departure, she left.
Since then she hadn't had any contact with them or Astoria and Draco, besides the necklaces- which proved to be very useful. She really couldn't face anyone, and it was for their own safety. Ginny was in danger, because of her.
"Gosh…." She thought, pulling at her hair. "This is how Harry feels half the time…"
Hermione couldn't even begin to describe how she felt about leaving. It was a mixture of sadness, despair, tiredness, and a little bit of anxiousness. Talk about confusing. She felt like a ghost of the ghost of the person she used to be. (A/N: I meant to do that...ik it's confusing)
She had forced herself to move every two or three days, even if she really didn't care if she were to be caught. Hermione looked like absolute trash, bags under her eyes, and she had barely eaten in days. Astoria had contacted her, telling her to come over, but she didn't respond.
The papers for Ginny's disappearance had already come out, and Harry and Ron were too occupied with Ginny to care about her. She wasn't complaining though, she was never one for attention. They had also, to her knowledge, taken the liberty of checking up on Ginny every few hours, who still hadn't found any information. Biting her lip, she looked around the room, searching for something to do.
"The powder." A voice spoke in her head. Hermione sighed, speaking in her mind. "I meant, think of something to do, then feel bad about not doing it because I'm too lazy." (A/N: That's literally me half the time.)
"Then get the hell up and do something!" The voice replied. She sighed. "I want to… but I can't… I don't have the motivation to go on anymore… Half of my friends are gone, barely anyone believes me. He doesn't show it, but Harry blames me for Ginny's disappearance."
The voice didn't respond, Hermione bowed her head. She was going mad. Nothing was working. Potions, spells, baths, not even the black notebook that had accompanied her the entire way, was able to fix her. She felt… empty. Yes, empty was the word. Not sad, empty.
"Hermione Granger! If you don't get your arse to my house right now, I will send Draco to track you down and he will personally drag you to my house!" A dove patronus appeared in front of her one day, yelling in Astoria Greengrass's.
"Of course she has a dove patronus….."
It was, maybe, a week later, in the middle of March. Hermione really didn't want to see anyone, but something told her that Astoria was not lying about sending Malfoy to track her. And anyway, maybe seeing them would serve as a distraction. After a shower, Pepper-up potion, and staring at the mirror self-consciously, she reckoned she looked as if she hadn't spent the entirety of two weeks laying in bed. She settled on a sweatshirt and leggings. Gathering her things, which wasn't much, she checked out of the motel. Grabbing a taxi, she asked the driver to take her to Astoria's address.
"Hermione!" Astoria exclaimed, giving her a huge hug.
She closed her eyes for a second, taking in the warmth, before releasing. "Don't act as if you haven't forced me to come."
"That's what I told her." A smirking Draco Malfoy appeared from behind Astoria.
"Hey Malfoy. Why do you always seem to be here?" She asked tiredly. "Don't you have your own place?"
"Of course I do," Malfoy scowled slightly, giving her a look. "I just like it here better."
She didn't reply, knowing what it meant. They went inside, and Hermione looked at the food set out curiously.
"What time is it?"
"About...12… Yeah, lunchtime."
"Blimey…" She muttered. It was that late?
"Come on… let's eat." Astoria grabbed her arm and led her to a chair.
Everyone sat, and Hermione felt a little dizzy. The smell of the Steak and Kidney Pie (A/N: Thank you, Google, for another British meal) made Hermione nauseous. From hunger or the fact that she hadn't eaten in… a while? She didn't know. But to be nice, she swallowed down a few bites of the pie.
"This is really good, Astoria." She mumbled. Malfoy snorted, as if knowing her comment was forced. She glared at him. She liked it, really, but it wasn't her fault she wasn't hungry.
"Thanks, Herm." Hermione shook her head,, Astoria finished hurriedly to cover her mistake." -mione."
"No nicknames, please."
At those words, Malfoy burst out laughing. "O-Ok… Herms."
"Malfoy… please. We're not even on a first name basis. Don't call me 'Herms' unless you want to lose a few limbs." She gritted her teeth.
"Yeah… Can you stop with the last name thing? It's getting annoying."
"Nah… people will start to think we're friends then." Hermione stayed quiet, taking another bite of her food.
"Aren't you?"
Malfoy looked at her for an answer, she shrugged, maintaining a mask of indifference. "I don't have any friends. Or at least, very few. Either way, the surname thing is a habit."
"If you say so..." Astoria changed the subject. "Will you be staying?"
Hemione looked up, not finding the urge or power to resist. Plus, it was free. "If you're fine with it."
The woman looked shocked at her lack of resistance, but nodded. "You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like."
She took a deep breath, pushing a wave of drowsiness down, and forced a smile. "Thanks."
The rest of the conversation was a blur to Hermione. She couldn't focus on their voices and her head was throbbing. Not wanting to be rude, she forced herself to take a Pepper-up Potion when Astoria and Malfoy weren't looking. But not even that seemed to fix her drowsiness, she was starting to get frustrated.
"-loved when she did that! Hermione? Are you okay?" A concerned voice asked her.
"Yeah. Why?" Hermione said brightly, quickly smiling.
"Because you look like you've just seen Voldemort come back from the dead." said Malfoy.
Her eyes darted towards the clock that read it was 3 in the afternoon. Her eyes widened.
"What is happening?" She thought to herself.
"What? Don't tell me he's back." Malfoy said.
"No…" Hermione realized what Malfoy had said, and forced a laugh. "What? No, of course not."
The conversation continued and she forced herself to join in, but paid no mind to what Astoria was going on about. Malfoy was apparently meeting up with his parents, who had been living in France the past few years. That explained why she had thought she had seen them two years ago.
"Hermione….I- uh- I heard about Ginny."
Hermione looked up, knowing the conversation was going to come up. "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"You are not." Astoria said firmly.
"I'm fine." She insisted.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I said I'm fine."
"Hermione…"
"I'm fine."
"Fine doesn't always mean okay." Astoria murmured quietly.
"I'm okay." She rolled her eyes, ignoring the pain in her head.
"If you say so…"
"I am…" Hermione whispered. "Sorry… It's just… I don't want to talk about it."
Her eyes softened, but she looked hurt. "Ok… would you like to get situated?"
"Sure."
Hermione got up slowly, feeling relieved. Just then, a wave of drowsiness and pain overtook her and everything went black as she toppled onto the floor.
Hermione shot up and fell off a bed. Cursing, she untangled herself from the blankets and realized she was in Astoria's guest room. Her hand immediately grabbed her wand that was on the nightstand. Deciding she was too dizzy to actually go out of the room, she stumbled towards the bathroom.
Her hands tightened around the edges of the sink as she suddenly got a flashback. Malfoy Manor… the alley… that one night where everything changed. Every single traumatic moment she had experienced flashed through her eyes.
In summary, it had taken at least 45 minutes before she was able to calm down again. (A/N: I won't describe panic attacks in detail anymore bc I feel like I don't know enough about it and I'm too afraid to ask anyone who has it bc I don't want to offend them.) As she tried to compose herself, Hermione heard voices downstairs. Sighing, she went downstairs to find Malfoy and Astoria talking.
"Look who woke up."
"Hello to you too, Malfoy."
"Hermione!" exclaimed Astoria, giving her a hug.
"Have fun on your two day nap?"
She tripped and looked up at Malfoy, aghast. "Two days?"
"Yeah." Astoria answered. "You must've been really tired. I told you you weren't fine."
"Whatever…" Hermione muttered.
She still couldn't believe she had passed out for two days. She had wasted two days. For what? Sleep? Rest?
"I've got to go." Hermione mumbled.
"Oh no you're not."
"Astoria…."
"You can't keep on doing this!" She screeched.
"Doing what exactly?" snapped Hermione.
"Blocking everything out!"
Not wanting to fight, she decided to compromise. "Fine. I won't leave, I'll leave my things here. But I still need to go."
After breakfast, which Astoria made her eat, she quickly grabbed her things. Wand, vial, black, and necklace around her neck. True to her promise, she left her beaded bag in Astoria's possession, making her promise to keep it safe.
"I have my entire life in there."
"Stop being dramatic, I'll keep it safe. Now, I thought you have to go?"
"Yep."
"Where to? Blaise's? Potter's?"
"Bye, Astoria." She quickly said.
Ten minutes later, she arrived at the place she was avoiding for however long it had been. She took a deep breath, and walked to the black front door and knocked.
A man with incredibly messy black hair and crooked glasses opened the door. "Hermione?"
"Ha-Potter."
"What are you doing here?"
"Can I come inside first?"
"Uhh...Sure." He stepped aside and she walked inside.
"Well… for one, I am here to help." Hermione said as she settled on the couch.
"Help? Really? You've been gone for almost 2 weeks." Harry fumed. "Where have you been? Do you even care about Ginny?"
She wanted to yell at him for even daring to ask that question. She wanted to tell him that she did care. She did care that it was her fault. Her fault she Ginny was gone. It was her fault she felt empty.
But Hermione couldn't say those things, so she quietly whispered, "Where I have been is none of your concern, Potter. I am here because I have something that could save her."
"What?" Harry asked.
A/N: Ok, so I promise I'll have another chapter out on...Monday? idk how everything's gonna work bc I just started school again yesterday.
To the guest who said this was an escape for them: Me too, writing and reading are the best escapes from the world. Sometime it's okay to forget about your problems and focus on the main characters messed up life.
Also to hater on Chap 17: i'm not punishing everyone who didn't believe her. Ginny getting kidnapped was actually decided by the random number generator; my choices were Ron, Ginny, Astoria, or Blaise and guess who got chosen? Her getting kidnapped also moves the story forward so I can actually get to the good stuff.
Also Ginny isn't Ginny Potter because Harry and her aren't married *cough* yet *cough* I thought that was obvious when they broke up some chapters ago.
Also I realized when was writing this chapter that what I write influences people (no duh)
So I wanted to say; Hermione's coping method's, for example, separating herself from everyone, is completely wrong. Please do not do this, if you don't want to talk to your parent's, pls talk to a friend or counselor. Her whole drama prevented her from seeing anyone about her ptsd or trauma.