Chapter 17: Don't Say His Name

Younger Days by Mt. Joy

Ilomilo by Billie Eilish

Don't Give Up by yaeow

Elara checked her reflection in the mirror one last time. She was nervous to leave the house without transfiguring herself. She knew that they would be under the Invisibility Cloak the entire time, but she couldn't help but feel her stomach knot.

What if it wasn't enough?

What if they were still found out?

She pulled on the hem of the cotton tee shirt she was wearing. She again, wore one of the only two pairs of jean shorts she had with her, and pulled her hair into a low bun on the nape of her neck. She tied the laces of her trainers and when she stood back up from the kneeling position, Harry was in the doorway.

"Hermione is still upset," He said. "She doesn't want us to go together. She said it would be better if she or Ron went with me."

"She's probably right," Elara said. "If we both get caught-

"We aren't going to get caught," Harry said, a finality to his voice. "We're just going to swipe a Prophet from the Leaky and watch the Ministry for a bit."

"I know the plan," She said, apprehension leaking into her voice. "I just… I'm nervous."

"We have the cloak, Ellie. We'll be okay," He was quiet a moment and then sighed. "Maybe… Maybe you should hold off on taking your potion though. Just in case. It could be helpful to know if there's anyone suddenly feeling irate or something."

She nodded, "I had already planned that."

Elara should have taken her potion.

It had been quite some time since she had been surrounded by so many people without the effects of the dampening potion. Muggles and the Wizarding community alike, everyone's emotions were loud this early in the morning. Feelings of worry and irritation flowed through her almost constantly and she could feel the beginnings of a headache edging into her brain.

Happiness, excitement, content… Those feelings were subtle and easy to adjust to.

Worry, anger, aggravation… The stronger emotions that ruined someone's day, that set their demeanor off kilter to those around them? They were suffocating.

It didn't help that huddled together under the cloak in the late August heat, it was sweltering. Harry had been doing cooling charms every so often, but she felt nauseous. She was regretting the breakfast she had eaten. Harry's slow growing irritation as the Ministry workers filed in didn't help and she could tell he was trying to calm himself, trying to hold back his annoyance at the lack of information for her sake.

"Have you seen anything yet?" Harry asked, for the fourth time in the last thirty minutes.

"No, Harry, I haven't."

"It's after nine," He continued, ignoring her obvious frustration. "I can't imagine she would be going in any later…"

"Harry, it's the Ministry. Most of the workers Floo in. There's a good chance we aren't going to…" She trailed off as a familiar emotion of amusement tore through her. She looked away from his face and squinted, looking at the entrance of the phone booth. "Mr. Weasley!" She almost cried with relief.

Harry's head jerked to the right and he laughed, relief flooding over him as well. "He looks all right, doesn't he?"

She nodded. "He looks okay. He feels it too. There's a little concern there, but he seems okay."

"If he's okay, that means everyone is all right, doesn't it? He- he wouldn't be okay if something major had happened," Harry said. He pulled his eyes from the phone booth that Mr. Weasley disappeared into and she could feel the sadness tugging in his gut.

"They're okay, Harry. If something had happened, if anyone was hurt, I don't think Mr. Weasley would be fine."

He gave a sharp nod and breathed a sigh of relief. "Let's go to the Leaky," He said. "And then we can go back to the house."

They carefully crept their way through the streets of Muggle London. It wasn't that far of a walk, but apparating more than necessary posed the risk of the cloak slipping upon arrival, and it was something they both agreed was too dangerous.

"I want to go into Diagon Alley," Elara declared.

"Ellie... " Harry trailed, pulling her to the side to avoid the Muggle that was staring down at his wrist watch while walking. "Are you sure? I know you were nervous about this anyway, and that's a big risk."

She nodded. "I'm sure. I need to see Fred and George's shop…"

"You and Fred, you got rather close, didn't you?" Harry asked. He wasn't jealous, but she could sense there was something under his words.

She nodded, "He just… When I got to the Burrow, it wasn't all warm welcomes and happy to see me. People were angry that I was there. Fred and George both were apprehensive, but it seemed that after a day, Fred gave up on being nervous around me. Mrs. Weasley kept splitting Ron, Hermione, and I up- as you very well know, and I got put with Fred a lot. He's just easy to talk to. He reminds me of Draco and-

"Fred?" Harry asked, stifling a chuckle. "Fred Weasley reminds you of Draco?"

She smirked and let out a breathy laugh, "Well, of course you don't see it! You don't know Draco like I do! Before this last year, he was always laughing and pulling pranks. Always had something to say. I swear he loves the sound of his own voice... I miss him."

"So Fred filled that void?"

"Yeah," She said. "I guess he did. I could talk to him without feeling like he was nervous around me. A bit protective, maybe, but not nervous. And then George finally came around and… It's been hard. I miss Draco terribly, I worry about him constantly and the twins… Fred especially; they understood. They understand the connection you have with your twin. It's hard to explain, I guess."

"I understand," Harry said. "It's okay that you miss him… Draco, I mean. I'm not sure I can forgive him for going through with the vanishing cabinet, but… He's your brother. You were close, once. I know it's got to be difficult."

"It is," She agreed. "But I wouldn't change my mind, you know."

He stopped walking and looked down at her, a small smile on his lips. "I know."

When they reached The Leaky Cauldron, they were glad to see it was fairly empty. Only a few patrons sat at tables this early, sipping from mugs and reading various bits of news articles or books. No one paid any mind to anything around them, something she was grateful for when her foot caught on a chair and it moved a bit. Harry swiped a copy of the Prophet from a nearby table and they made their way to the back, walking into the alley behind the pub and stopping in front of the brick wall.

"I'll keep a lookout," Elara whispered, looking over their shoulders while Harry's wand slipped between the fabric of the cloak and tapped against the bricks.

They both held their breath as the bricks shifted and moved, creating the entry way to Diagon Alley. Elara willed it to hurry up, if they got caught here, they would most definitely be turned into the Ministry. She should have listened to Hermione and let her come with Harry instead. Hermione would have never suggested doing something so stupid.

They crossed the threshold once the bricks had shifted into place and Elara's stomach dropped.

"Oh my god," She whispered, her hand shooting up to cover her mouth. "Harry…"

The small street was destroyed.

Windows on every business were broken, the street sparkling with shards of glass. The doors were blown in, hanging on by hinges that looked too weak to hold the weight. Scraps of parchment and debris were scattered all over the cobblestone paths and there were dozens of posters pasted on every surface advertising the Muggle-born Registration Commission and new demands for returning and new Hogwarts students. She caught glimpse of her own face staring up from a wanted poster, the bold 100,000 Galleons bleeding into the frame of the picture from the effects of the rain. Harry's face stared from every building or bench: "Undesireable No. 1".

They slowly moved up the alley and she felt the pit in her stomach grow. There was no business here. The few shops that did remain open had Death Eaters standing in front of the entryway and she could feel the hair rising on the back of her neck. They shouldn't have come here.

As they looked around, passing Flourish and Blotts, a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

"...Let go of me! I'm just trying to get my damn book you ignorant fucking- I told you! My name is Blaise Zabini! I'm a seventh year at Hogwarts and I'm pureblood! Can you not fucking read you imbicile! Look at my robes! I'm in Slytherin. Draco Malfoy is my best mate, go fucking talk to him!"

"Harry!" Elara said, pulling him into the alleyway across from the book shop and pointing toward the door. "It's Blaise!" She nearly cried, her chest heaving in breaths.

"Shh…" Harry cooed. "You have to be quiet, El."

"I know, I know." The tears fell from her eyes before she could stop them. He's alive.

"Finally!" Blaise nearly shouted. "Fuck! Malfoy, if you don't make these arseholes leave me alone! Salazar damn idiots. They couldn't get the smart ones to patrol Diagon Alley? Instead you have these fucking tossers?"

"Sorry, mate." Draco chuckled.

She couldn't help the sob that wrenched from her throat as the sound of Draco's laughter hit her ears. She knew she should be upset that he was laughing, looking around Diagon Alley, there was no reason to be happy. But she couldn't help but feel ecstatic. They were both here.

"Harry, I have to talk to them." Elara said, suddenly. "I have to… I need to see their faces."

"No! Ellie, no! You can't."

She knew he was right. She knew it was reckless to remove herself from the cloak, but she had to see them. She had to make sure they were okay. She had to- to look into their eyes and see what was happening, to see if they had been turned against her.

"I'm sorry," She cried, slipping out from under the robe. She turned quickly and cast a sticking charm, effectively gluing Harry's feet to the ground. For good measure, she silenced him. If she was going to get caught because of a momentary lapse of better judgement on her part, fine. But she wouldn't have Harry get captured too.

She cast a disillusionment charm over herself and walked to the edge of the alley, peeking her head around the corner of the building. She could see Blaise's face, Draco's back to her. He was wearing his Death Eater robes, but his mask was in his hand and his hood down. She thought quickly, trying to figure out the best way to get their attention without bringing attention to herself. She scanned the area, trying to find a spot where- there! Florean Fortescue's poor ice cream shop, while closed and run down, would offer a place of coverage.

She would need something to get their attention though, something that would tell Draco that it was her, without a doubt. She walked closer to them, determination pushing the adrenaline through her veins. Her blood rushed in her ears as her heart thundered against her chest.

They were talking; Blaise was still complaining about being grabbed in the shop.

"...I swear if one more of these fucking-

"Choose better words, you sound dim." Elara spoke, just above a whisper as she reached them.

They heard her. Both Blaise and Draco blanched, eyes going wide and Blaise's next words dying in his throat.

"Ellie?" Draco said her name in a breath.

She tugged on his sleeve, trying to get him to understand to follow her. She thanked Merlin that he wasn't dense as his feet moved.

"I'm going to the loo," Draco called over his shoulder to the Death Eater standing in the doorway. "When I get back, you had better have your list sorted."

If the Death Eater thought it odd that Blaise followed Draco, he didn't show it.

Elara leaned closer to Draco and whispered, "Fortescue's." In his ear before trotting ahead of them and slipping through the broken door to the business. She looked around, using a revealing spell to make sure she was alone. She cast Muffliato at the door and a notice-me- not, just to make sure no one would get curious and peek into the building.

She cancelled the disillusionment charm and sank back into the shadows, pressing her back into the wall of the furthest corner and waited. Her breath uneven and her heart pounding in her chest, her lashes wet from the tears that spilled while she was under the cloak.

She knew this was barmy. There was nothing to stop Draco from grabbing her and apparating to the Manor. To turn her in. As the seconds ticked, she began to feel queasy with uncertainty. Just when she thought about recasting the disillusionment on herself and high-tailing it out of the ice cream shop, Draco and Blaise walked through the threshold.

She couldn't hold back the sob that tore from her throat.

She moved away from the wall and noticed Draco was walking straight toward her, nearly hurtling himself over the tables that had been thrown carelessly on their sides. Before she could blink, his arms were wrapped around her in a crushing hug.

He was crying.

"You're alive! You're okay!" He said, over and over.

"I'm okay, I'm all right. Are you? Are you okay?" She sobbed into his neck, squeezing him as tightly as she could.

"I'm okay," He said. "How are you here? Why are you here? Ellie, if they catch you-

"You aren't going to turn me in?" She asked.

"What?" He said, his voice incredulous. "No! No! I wouldn't- You can't come back to the Manor. It's awful there. It's…" He trailed off, finally pulling away from her. He cupped her face in his hands, looking her over before pulling her back into his chest for another rib crushing hug.

"I don't have a lot of time," She said. "I have to go. I just, I heard you and… I had to see you. Mum? Is mum okay?"

"Mum's all right. They leave her alone now," He said. "Father makes sure of it."

She nodded, pulling away from the embrace to look him over. He looked horrible. His face was even more sallow than it had been before, the dark rings under his eyes nearly glowing against his greying pale skin. He was thinner than he had been before the summer, which was worrying considering how much weight he had lost through sixth year. She could make out the faint bruises on his cheek bones and felt her stomach give an unpleasant twist.

He was not okay. Anyone who looked at him would be a fool to think he was.

"Can I intercept?" Blaise asked, his voice quiet and trembling.

She half laughed, half sobbed, wiping her face on the back of her hand and stepping toward Blaise. He pulled her into a crushing hug, kissing the top of her head. "I've been sending you messages through the coin," He said.

"I know," She said. "I've seen them. I don't know if they can track me through it, so I can't risk it. I've seen them though. Your mum, Blaise! I'm so-

"Don't even worry about my mum!" He said, "You know Emiliana. She's tougher than a Chinese Fireball. A few rounds of cruciatus isn't going to take her down."

"A few rounds?!" She cried in horror, "Blaise, I- I'm so sorry. This is all my fault and-

"No," Draco said. "No, it isn't. Are you safe? Are you with Potter now?"

"I can't tell you that," She said. "I'm sorry, Coco, you know I can't."

"I know," He said, wiping the tears from his lashes. "I know. You're safe though? The lot of you? You're okay?"

"I'm safe," She confirmed, skating over the question of the others and their well-being. "Are you going back to Hogwarts this term?"

"Yes," Blaise said. "We both are. We have to."

She nodded. "Good," She said. "Take care of everyone for me, please? Keep your eyes one them, make sure they stay safe. I have to go now, though."

Blaise nodded, pulling her into another hug. "I love you, be careful out there, yeah?"

She flashed him a watery smile, "I love you too, take care of yourself and your mum."

Draco pulled her away from Blaise, wrapping his arms around her shoulders so tightly she wasn't sure he'd let go. "I love you, Ellie. Please be careful. And… And tell Potter I told him to end this. He has… He has to end this. I can't…" He trailed off.

Her chest shook with another sob as she nodded furiously. "We're going to," She promised. "I swear, we're going to. I love you, Coco. Tell mum and dad for me, too? Please? Coco, please take care of yourself. I love you."

"Ellie, wait!" Draco said, his voice hesitant as his eyes shifted.

Doubt. Fear.

"What is it?" She asked, her brows pulling together in concern. She could see him working through the thought process of making what he believed may be a bad decision.

"Th-There's a.. a taboo! On his name. Don't say it, no matter what, don't say his name."

She sniffled and nodded as she stepped back and tapped her wand to the top of her head, whispering the disillusionment charm. She took a deep, shuddering breath before looking over them one last time. She turned and apparated back to the alley that Harry was in. She flicked her wand in the general direction of the spot she had left him and lifted the jinxes she had cast.

She could feel Harry's anger pulsing around the alley, but her head was reeling. A taboo. A taboo. She heard Harry's voice and saw his hand come out from under the robe. She grabbed it and allowed him to pull her under the fabric before cancelling the disillusionment charm once more.

Harry was seething by the time they landed on the stoop of Grimmauld Place. She could feel the anger bubbling in him, held back only by her promise of information.

"What in the hell were you thinking?!" He shouted at her as the door slammed shut behind them.

Harry ripped the cloak off of them and hung it on the hook, flicking his wand at the curtains that had flung open to reveal the screeching portrait.

"You could have gotten captured! Or- or killed! Ellie, how could you-

"What's happened?" Ron asked, walking into the hall with a sandwich in hand.

"Where's Hermione?" Elara asked.

"In here!" She called from the dining room. "Kreacher made sandwiches!"

"Let's have lunch," Elara said, turning to Harry.

"I don't want lunch!" He roared, "I-I can't believe you-

"Harry, I need to talk to you about what he told me," Elara said. "Please."

He set his jaw, clenching down hard as he blew several hot breaths through his nostrils. "Fine," He spat, sweeping his arm across the room to usher her forward.

She gave a tight nod and walked into the dining room, taking a seat at the table and grabbing a sandwich from the plate. She picked up the glass that was already sitting in her spot and smiled as she took a sip of the cranberry juice. Kreacher was mostly a menace, but he had his moments.

"Are you going to tell me why the fuck you thought going with them was a good idea?" Harry said, his voice low and shaking with anger.

"First," She said, her tongue darting out to swipe the cranberry juice that lingered on her lips. "Don't swear at me. Second, what was I supposed to do, Harry? He's my brother! I had an opportunity and-

"Wait," Hermione interrupted. "You saw Draco?"

"And Blaise," Elara said. "We went to Diagon Alley-

"You what?!" Hermione shrieked, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"I wanted to check the joke shop," Elara said. "I wanted to see if it had been badly damaged or if it was still open or what… It- it doesn't matter!" She shook her head, trying to get to the point. "We went to Diagon Alley and a Death Eater got handsy with Blaise over some list-

"The Muggleborn list?" Hermione asked.

"I'm assuming so," Elara said. "I jinxed Harry and silenced him and disillusioned myself. Draco was there with Blaise, they were getting supplies for Hogwarts."

"They're going back?" Ron asked.

She nodded, "Yes. But that's not the important part… As I was leaving, Draco stopped me and said there's a taboo on his name and said to not say it at all, for any reason."

"On who's name?" Ron asked.

"Well, I don't think it would be on anyone's name except the Dark Lord's." Elara said, pressing her lips together and raising her eyebrows into her hairline.

She could see the cogs turning in Harry's head as he took the information in, his anger slowly dissipating. "That's how they found us," He whispered. "At the cafe."

Elara nodded, "It had to be."

"Did they say anything else?" Harry asked.

She shook her head, "No, not really." She hesitated, deciding to tell Harry the message from Draco in private. She wasn't sure how Ron or Hermione would react to it. "Just said my mum is okay, that my dad had made sure of it."

"What does that mean?" Hermione asked.

"It means he's hexing anyone who goes near her," Elara answered.

"They're really there, then? Hiding out in your house?" Ron asked.

"They have been for months," Elara sighed.

They continued to talk for a bit while Harry and Elara tucked into their lunch. They explained what they saw at the Ministry and Harry pulled out the copy of the Prophet he had swiped. Ron had been beyond relieved to hear that his dad was okay and seemed chipper as usual. His entire demeanor changed a bit once Elara told him that news. The tentative good mood shifted as they read through the prophet and learned that Snape was now Headmaster of Hogwarts. Harry was angry again, reading over the article.

"And who the hell are the Carrow's?" He asked. "Why are they being made into professors?"

Elara grimaced. "Alecto is that squatty witch who crucioed me," She said. "Her brother, Amycus is just as bad. They're awful. They spent a lot of time torturing people in the first war for fun. Killing muggles with daggers and carving into them just to watch them bleed. They're evil and sadistic. Whoever is left at Hogwarts would be better off being locked up for their blood status if the Carrow's have any say in anything."

A grim silence settled over them and they all seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. Elara wasn't worried for Draco and Blaise at Hogwarts. They were Slytherins, afterall. With Draco being marked himself, she couldn't imagine the Carrow's giving him any issues. But everyone else? She felt a deep shiver tear up her spine as she thought of others she had become friends or acquaintances with. Ginny, Neville, Luna… They would all be in danger. It was not knowing exactly what the danger was, that was most unnerving to her.

"We need to go to the Ministry," Harry said, looking up from the spot on the table he had been staring at. "We need to go in and see if we can get the locket from her there."

"And what?" Elara snorted, "We just waltz right in? Undesirable number one, a wanted Malfoy with a large galleon reward on her head, a muggle born and a blood traitor? That should go over swimmingly."

Harry sighed, "You know, an hour and a half ago I didn't see you caring much about who saw you."

"That was different," Elara said. "Draco isn't going to turn me in. He isn't going to do something that will intentionally get me hurt, that's why he told me to apparate away when we came to Surrey for you. That's why he told me about the taboo, today."

"We can't waltz right in," Hermione agreed. Her tone suggestive of another option as she scrunched her face up in thought, her index finger tapping gently against her chin.

"But?" Elara asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

"But… We could Polyjuice. There's a relatively stocked potions cabinet here. If I can get a few more items, I could brew a Polyjuice." She said.

"Polyjuice," Elara repeated, rolling it around in her head. "You think that would work?"

"It's got to," Harry said.

"I don't see what other options we have, and we need to get that locket." Hermione said, a determined look on her face.

Elara had just come from the shower when she heard a soft knock on the door. She pulled her sleep shirt over her head and wrapped her hair up in the towel before padding over to the door to pull it open.

"You could have just come in," She chuckled, looking up at Harry.

"I didn't want to startle you," He said. "Can we talk?"

"Of course, Harry." She stepped aside, giving him room to pass through to the bedroom she was sharing with Hermione. It was the large, master bedroom that had once belonged to Walburga Black. After Kreacher had put in the effort to clean every surface and replace the bedding, they had found it to be quite comfortable.

Hermione and Elara shared the large bed most nights. It was silly to even separate the boys from their room, they knew that. But with Harry and Ron's tempers being unpredictable at best these days, they found that the reprieve at night was needed. It gave the girls time to go over theories and read through some of the more interesting texts they had found in the library without having to stop and explain everything.

Given the nightmares and restless sleep they both had, they decided to keep the bed as is. Hermione had become, essentially, a sister to Elara. She felt no qualm in sleeping next to her or helping to calm her when she woke up from a nightmare about her parents. In turn, Hermione had often helped Elara lull back to sleep after fitful dreams of Voldemort and her family.

Harry sat on the edge of the bed and clasped his hands in his lap, "I think Hermione and Ron are sharing the room tonight. Hermione fell asleep on my bed," He said, his voice calm and quiet.

"Oh," Elara said, her brows furrowing together. "Do you want me to wake her and have her come here?"

He shook his head, "No. She doesn't sleep enough as it is."

"You're right about that," Elara agreed. "I don't think any of us get nearly the amount of rest we need. You can stay in here tonight, if you want."

Harry nodded, "I'd like that."

She smiled and pulled the towel from her head, roughly drying her hair with it before walking to the vanity in search of a comb. When she located it, she perched on the bed next to Harry. "What did you want to talk about?"

He sighed, "What else did Draco say to you?"

She winced as a tangle caught in the comb and tugged it through her hair. "I didn't want to say it in front of Ron and Hermione, I'm not sure what they'd think."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me to tell you to end this," She said, her hand stilling in her hair. "He said you have to end it."

Harry turned to look at her, his eyes flitting around her face before he gave a sharp nod, "That's it?"

She nodded, "Yeah. I just… I know how Ron feels about Draco. How you feel about him. Harry, he doesn't want any of this. He never did. He may have taken his mark willingly, but just. He would have never taken the mark if he didn't think it would save my mum… Or- or me. I know you've had your differences over the years-

Harry snorted, "You could say that."

She rolled her eyes and continued, pulling the comb again as she talked. "I know you haven't gotten on well, but he's not a bad person. He isn't some evil Death Eater. He just wasn't given the same choices I was."

"You grew up in the same house," Harry said. "How were his choices any different?"

"Because, I have you," She said, setting the comb next to her on the blanket and running her fingers over her scalp a few times. "I have you and Ron and Hermione. If I didn't…"

"You would be working with them," Harry finished her thought.

She nodded. "Probably. I didn't think I had any better options for a long time. I thought you-know-who would kill us all if I didn't comply. If I didn't help Draco, I thought he'd be killed. And I couldn't stomach the thought of it."

Harry sighed, moving closer to her and picking up the comb. He ran it through the length of her damp hair a few times. "Something tells me you wouldn't have, though. Not if you could help it."

She shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. All that matters is I'm here now, with you. I'm sorry I put us in danger today. I really am, but I had to see him. I had to know he was okay."

"I understand," Harry whispered, leaning forward to press his lips against her shoulder. "Just promise me you won't do that again, okay? I can't lose you too."

She nodded, "I promise."

.

.

a/n: I am so sorry that I suck and completely forgot to post this chapter on wednesday! To make up for it, I'll be posting an extra chapter this weekend! Come join my FB group? We have fun there: Mimifreed Writing

I hope you liked this chapter! Please remember to review! I do love reading them! :)

xo

Mimi