Chapter 20
Passers-by have wondered at least once why it is number thirteen not number twelve next to number eleven. All they ever came up with as a plausible answer to that question was administrative mistake. Never in their wildest dreams they imagined the number twelve was concealed with magic, and it was occupied with the one of the ancient noble houses in the wizarding world. The House of Black, characterized with their dark hair and fairest faces along with pale colored eyes, resides in the Number Twelve, Grimmauld's Place for a very long time.
The place was filled with treasuries and relics, decorated with a tapestry of family tree in the heart of it. The current mistress of the house, Walburga Black, the second cousin and wife of Orion Black, was a woman of keen feeling and refined taste. She likes to have her house follow the tradition of her father and that of before him. Dark and forbidding place as it were, she prefers it to continue the foreboding look that her family continued to maintain their dignity.
In the end of a long hallway from the front door was a dining room. Dressers with numerous china bearing Black's crest lined up along one side of the room, there was a very large rectangle table covered with ivory cloth. Silver candle holder was shining in the middle, the table was occupied with the Black family, except for one.
It has been quite a while since spot next to Orion Black was empty. Regulus, the youngest son of Orion Black, never attempted to sit on the vacant seat. So, ever since the elder son of Orion left the house to Potter's no one sat there.
Only the clinking of plates and forks filled the room until Walburga started,
"How are your schoolwork going?"
Regulus raised his head to meet his mother's gaze. Those icy grey eyes, effectively concealing any feelings, bore through Regulus' blues.
The boy calmly replied, "As well as expected, mother".
At this, Walburga showed no glee. Instead, a twitch in her eyebrow told that this was not what she wants to hear.
"No son of mine should receive anything than Outstanding", said the woman.
Her lustrous blond hair tied up tightly in a bun, Walburga's pale face looked almost like a marble piece, with the dimly lit candlelight.
Regulus nodded.
"I want your scores to be perfect, as well as your extracurricular activity credit. Do you understand? No son born in this family has failed to receive Outstanding in all curriculums. You must, and you shall receive full mark." Putting emphasis on 'shall', Walburga stopped to take a sip of her red wine.
Regulus did not respond, for he knew she was rather talking to herself than to him. As if to prove him, Walburga continued to mutter how perfect he must be, and he shall be and how he will shine the family's name. Orion remained silent as did his son.
"I will not have you stray like the despicable boy that I am embarrassed to admit that he came out of my own body." Walburga spat, more heatedly than ever.
Regulus and Orion halted. But a second later, Orion acted as if he never paused and continued with his roasted beef Kreature made. Regulus followed suit, but then without any conscious thought, he glanced at the seat next to his father. A mahogany chair painted in black, carved in elegant serpent pattern, was empty.
.
When the dinner ended and Regulus bid his parents a goodnight, he climbed up the stairs and headed towards his room. Up pass the line of dead house-elves' head, up passes a line of portraits of his father's father, of his mother's father. They all looked the same: the same jet-black hair, the same pale faces with pale eyes void of emotion if not contempt. They all held their head high, stood straight up and looked down upon those who pass them. Noble and majestic, as all pureblood born should be, and condescending and pompous as fuck.
Regulus paused, mildly shocked at thinking of such vulgarity in regard to his ancestors. But then he remembered that they were not his words, but someone else's. His brother's.
Regulus stared blankly at the room next to his from the stairs. He meant to go straight to his room but found himself turning a golden handle in his brother's door. He pushed open the door and went inside. The large room with a large bed that has a carved headboard was a mess, the same before his brother left. There were walls covered with so many pictures. Some of them were moving, as ordinary pictures should. But some weren't Regulus presumed they were Muggle's pictures, by the looks of them. He frowned in disdain when he spotted a woman, half-naked with pieces garment above and below, barely covering her. The blond-haired woman was seductively grinning at him, but he found nothing so appealing. He looked around. There were so many things, scrolls of parchments and pieces of papers lying everywhere and quills and inks laid sprawled all over. Perhaps his brother made a mess in a heat of anger as he left?
Regulus surprised himself by wondering such things, as he never allowed himself to think about his brother since then.
Perhaps his brother was despicable boy as his mother said and purposefully messed things up to anger her. Or perhaps he was lazy and sloppy and never cared about the state of his room.
The light blue eyes turned cold in a flash, his pale face went rigid, void of emotions as before. Regulus left the room without looking back and went straight to his own tidy room.
…...…...…...…...…...…...…...
Christmas was one of the few happy moments in his life. The party was small with few Christmas dishes compared to other families', but it was good enough to bring a laugh in this family which was unfortunately not an easy thing. Him and his parents, all gathered around, playing, and eating and laughing until the hour was too late was something that never failed to make him happy.
As good son as he was, Remus helped his mother cleaning up the dishes and the messes they've created during party. His father bid him goodnight and his mother kissed him on the cheek, Remus went up to his room with a content smile on his face.
Woof,
a barking noise drew his attention. The tall boy looked down to find a brown-haired dog, wagging its tail expectantly at him.
Chuckling, Remus reached down, "hey, there."
Lowell was a large dog with golden brown hair on belly and dark brown hair on the back and the nose.
Remus was supposed to put him outside, as there was no room for the dog in the house. But something made him decide to take him to his room for the night. It was Christmas, after all. Everyone deserves a treat, once in a while.
"Do you want to come with me, Lowell?" asked Remus.
The dog barked its agreement making Remus chuckle. Lowell was also one of the few things that made him laugh. He gestured the dog to follow and climbed up to his bedroom. The place was small, with a bed long enough accommodate his height taking up most of the space. But it was the place he could relax. Remus changed into pajamas and laid himself on the bed. As the dog laid itself beside him, Remus stretched out his long arm and snuggled down. A small smile crept on his feature as he felt the soft coat of his furry friend.
Lowell was a gift from Sirius. He brought the dog to him on the second year after he and James and Peter figured out the reason behind his monthly disappearances. They've found that animals such as a dog can become a companion during the full moon. Sirius said Lowell would help him get through until they learn how to become animagi.
Remus brought Lowell to his home after they made their own transformation through. Since then, Lowell continued to comfort him during the full moon whenever he returned from Hogwarts.
When the full moon comes, he'd lock himself in the underground basement with Lowell. And he waits for the agony of transformation to pass and spend the night with his furry friend. Then, the morning comes, and he finds himself nestled besides the dog. That moment never failed to warm his heart, and he instantly reminded of Sirius.
Before Hogwarts, he used to be confined in a dark room alone. The pain was too grave for such a little one but the coldness he felt in the morning waking up alone scarred him for life. He never spoke of it, especially never to his parents, lest it'll break their already beaten souls with guilt. When he is in Hogwarts, with his friends, the memory can be chucked away deep inside his mind. The moment he leaves the school, however, the fear of being left alone crept onto him.
Lowell helps him forget about the fear. Lowell, his furry little friend, was a symbol that he has friends. Friends who care about him enough to spend hours and hours to become animagi. Lowell was his friend on his own, but he was also the proof that Remus Lupin was no longer alone inside the dark room.
All this notion brought recent argument James and Sirius had after spending hours searching for the latter. Remus swore he wouldn't forgive Sirius for using him to kill Snape. But when he saw and heard Sirius that night, the strong feeling of anger faded somewhat. He couldn't simply let go of his grudge, for the betrayal was too harsh to take in. Still, Sirius' words of regret seemed genuine and Remus could tell he was truly shamed of what he did.
Drifting to a sleep, Remus recalled he hadn't spoken to Sirius for months. A small voice in his head admitted he missed Sirius' unique company entailed with bark-like laugh and witty jokes.
The holiday was over, and Remus Lupin set himself on the hearth to floo back to Hogwarts.
"Goodbye, darling, take care."
"Yes, mother." Remus smiled.
"Be on your way, son, you'd be late", prompted his father.
He nodded, taking a handful of floo powder, and said, "Hogwarts!"
.
When he returned to his dormitory, he found Peter and James together.
"Moony!" Peter exclaimed.
James rose to his feet, grinning widely. "Hey!"
"Mates", Remus returned the grin.
His eyes wondered around to find a particular Gryffindor boy but to no avail. Remus dropped his bags on the side and sat down on the bed. They began to exchange their stories from home for a while, until Remus couldn't wait till that said particular boy returns and asked to the marauders,
"Where's Sirius?"
James paused, his eyes a little widened.
"He's…." he drawled his words, "with Snape."
"Doing what?" Peter asked.
"You know, helping Snape", said James with a hint of uncertainty.
"Help him for what?" Remus asked.
James opened his mouth but closed it without saying more. Instead, he shrugged. Clearly, he didn't know any better. The hazel eyes glazed through the green, in query, or in hopes.
"Why'd you want him for?"
Remus replied with a grin and got to his feet. "I'm going to go down, don't wait up."
"Where're you going?" asked Peter.
"We won't", said James, waving his hand.
"Where's he going?" Turning to James, Peter asked, pointing his finger.
With a sad smile appearing on his face, James just pat the chubby boy on the shoulder.
.
.
As he climbed down the stairs, Remus headed towards the dungeon, in the hopes of finding Sirius accompanied by a particular Slytherin boy. But even before he reached the entrance hall, Remus heard a familiar voice coming from a corner. It was Snape,
"Black, don't be ridiculous."
"I'm not, you are. Just hand me that damn thing."
arguing with Sirius.
They were whispering rather fervently to each other. Snape was holding a basket full of herbs. When Sirius stretched out his arms to take them, Snape withdrew clutching the basket tighter.
"I said I can carry it myself", said Snape.
"That's what you think. You need help."
"And you need to go to Quidditch practice. So, go." Snape pointed the corridor with his jaw.
But Sirius was undeterred, "They can practice alright without me. Now, hand it over."
Sounding frustrated, Snape snapped, "How many times do I have to say this? I can carry this myself! I'm not a baby!"
"Never said you are. Why are you making this so hard?" Sirius returned, agitated.
Remus chuckled at the familiar tone of his friend. The two boys whipped their heads around upon hearing his laugh, which made him slightly uneasy becoming the center of their attention.
Remus cleared his throat unnecessarily.
"Remus?" Sirius muttered, taken aback.
"Hi", Remus said, rather awkwardly. He could see Snape rolling his eyes, annoyance clear on those black orbs.
"Uh, hey." Sirius returned, not knowing what to do.
"Do you guys… need a hand?" Remus stepped forward between them, eyeing the basket.
Snape frowned, stepping back, away from him. Hostility visible in his dark eyes, the Slytherin boy said, "Get lost."
"Hey", Sirius chastised him, at which the smaller boy snorted.
"Why are you doing here?" Sirius asked.
Remus smiled, "I just came back from home and you weren't at the dorm, so-"
"Oh yeah, I was with Snape." Sirius explained.
"So, I've noticed." Remus nodded.
"You- erm, you have something to say? Because we need to get this agonite-"
"Aconite" Snape corrected.
"Whatever. We need to get this to Slughorn, so…." Sirius trailed off, trying very hard but failing to conceal his irritation.
"There's no 'we', Black. I told you for the hundredth time that I can carry this myself and you can be on your way to Quidditch practice, as you should be as the seeker in Gryffindor's team." Snape argued indignantly.
"I didn't realize you care so much about our Gryffindor team." Sirius retorted.
Snape snorted, "I don't care about stupid Gryffindors. I'm just trying to reason with you that it is unnecessary for you to follow me to help such trivial!"
"I told you they can practice perfectly alright without me for a day. And it's not liked the actual practice begins until next week." Sirius gave a noise out of frustration, fed up with this boring conversation.
"Well, I don't want-"
"I'll carry it for you." Remus, once again, interjected before the argument overheated.
They stopped dead, as if they heard something rather terrible. Remus, however, did not notice this and carried on.
"I'll carry the basket to Professor Slughorn, and Sirius can go to his practice. How about that?" The brown-haired boy beamed, pleased with his solution. "Hmm?" He prompted the two boys staring with dumbfounded faces, waiting for an answer.
"Uh…." Seeing no reasons to object, he hesitated.
But the look on the Slytherin boy's face made him paused. Snape looked as if he just been kicked, with his dark eyes widened in shock. Somehow, that look made Sirius feel bad that he grabbed Remus' arm reaching to Snape's basket.
Remus turned around, puzzled. "What?"
"I-uh, I think you really don't need to help him. I could make it on time, probably." He finished uncertainly. It sounded lame even to his own ears.
But just when Snape breathed in relief, Remus suggested,
"Well, why don't we go together then?"
Failing to come up with a clever excuse, the three of them headed down the cold and dark dungeon classroom.
Silence stretched along the walk was too heavy for Severus. He felt so stupid for being nervous, but he cannot help it. Now in the near end of second trimester, Severus was huge as a whale and the concealment charm didn't alleviate his anxiety. With his layers and layers of charms, it was impossible to recognize his baby bump outside. But no magic was going to alter the way he walks. And this prat couldn't take a hint and shoved his nose into his face!
Severus felt like he could kiss Merlin on the arse if he could get rid of these two right now. Severus glared at Black wishing he could kill with his will. He could've just listened to him and left for the Quidditch practice so that Severus could've done his work alone. Then, they wouldn't have to stuck in this rather alarmingly risky situation! He knew all Gryffindors are fools, but he at least counted on Black to use his brain for once in a while to notice the danger in situations like this. He'd thought he made it abundantly clear that his pregnancy is to be a secret but evidently, not enough.
"Are you okay?" a voice asked.
Severus jumped in surprise. It was Remus, staring at him with a worried look on his face. His green eyes scanned him head to toe, searching for signs of illness. When the boy's eyes returned to his face, Severus felt like a year just passed by. Managing to suppress sigh of relief, Severus forced to smooth out his expression into mild irritation.
"Yes."
"You don't look it", said Remus.
For some reasons, the pair of black eyes wondered to the boy next to Remus, who seemed to be starting to recognize the problem here, much to his regret. Severus bit his lower lip but released it as soon as he realized he was doing it. Trying to neutralize his voice, Severus managed,
"None of your business."
That made Remus shut up. And they started to stroll down the corridor in silence again. But the set of dark eyes remained on the same Gryffindor boy. He was willing the boy to do something about the current situation.
If they were to go down the dungeon where Severus was supposed to put the herb in the cabinet, they are going to walk down the stairs together. The stairs. The fucking stairs. There was the reason why Sirius insisted he should bring the basket for him. He couldn't climb the fucking stairs, at least not without looking like a bloody penguin.
So, here was the question Severus was meaning to ask through telepathy: how the fuck are you going to do about the stairs? Or, how was he going to explain the change in his walk? Severus tried to swallow down the curse, but he was having a difficulty in doing so.
"You bought a new bag?" Remus asked.
Severus snapped out of his reverie and glanced the tall boy. He was staring at the brand-new bag, Sirius Black bought it for Christmas.
"It looks new." When the boy did not reply, Remus spoke with a friendly smile on his face.
"And the clothes." He added.
Sirius jerked visibly at this. Remus was looking at him, but Severus could tell that the brown-haired boy noticed it.
"Yes." Out of desperation to end the conversation, Severus said.
Grinning widely, pleased at that he received an answer, Remus said, "they look good on you."
Rolling his eyes, Severus just remained silence.
But the corridor was nearing the end, displaying the narrow spiral staircase that leads to the dungeon, and that was when Sirius got the hint.
"─why don't I just go down there myself and put the basket in the class, hmm? And you two could go back to the Hall, you know, for dinner." Sirius turned around to face Remus and Severus, reaching for the basket.
Severus would've applause the boy's attempt, but he had to go down there himself as he was the only one know what to do with the herb. He doubted Remus Lupin was capable in handling the potion ingredient.
"No, it's alright, mate. I'm in no hurry." Remus said.
Black's face fell, but he was undeterred.
"Yes, but-"
"Or you two go up to the Great Hall and leave the work to me as I am the only what to do with that." Severus cut him across.
The two Gryffindor boys turned to look at him.
"And I'm sure you two have many things to talk about." Severus met their gazes.
Remus seemed surprised.
"Don't you?" Severus eyed on Black.
Black reluctantly nodded his head and turned to Remus, who refused to let go of the basket.
"You could come to me later. If you must." Severus muttered.
Remus pondered on this for a second. Then, after a quick glance at Severus' direction, he agreed as well.
…...…...…...…...…...…...…...
As the two marauders headed towards the entrance hall, girls were glancing back and whispered their surprise. They thought the two finally had fell apart. Perhaps these two were drawing the final end.
But none of these speculative gossips penetrated the two. Sirius and Remus found a corner away from the crowds and settled there.
Sirius kept shooting glances backward to the dungeon until he fixed his eyes on Remus, in query. Remus met his gaze. The two was speechless as they were on the journey from the dungeon. Sirius, uncomfortable with the silence, broke it first.
"So…." he trailed off.
He thought he should say something but didn't know what. I'm sorry? He was uncertain whether Remus want to hear that. But his worries were irrelevant as Remus took over.
"So, how is he?"
"Hmm?"
"Snape, how is he?" Small smile appeared on corner of his mouth as Remus saw clueless face of Sirius.
Sirius jerked. He cleared his throat, trying to smooth out his facial expression. "Why do you want to know?"
"He seems to be little tired", Remus stated.
At which, Sirius looked even more agitated. Remus caught that and he stepped forward to close the distance. Sirius was a tall boy, but Remus was even taller. He may not have noticed up till now, but Sirius could tell he was going to towering him in any days now. Sirius gulped nervously, starting to feel scared, not of his friend, but of his secret being divulged. He couldn't possibly figure it out just by looking at Severus walking.
"And I see you trying to help him get through whatever he has, in many ways."
Sirius didn't respond, not knowing what's coming.
"It must be difficult for you", said Remus.
The taller boy smiled ruefully, "I know it's not easy for you, Sirius." He paused. Still, Sirius remained silent, waiting for whatever he was really trying to say.
"I'd like to help you." Remus offered.
A few seconds went by as Sirius couldn't process what just been said. When it did, Sirius doubted his hearing.
"You- what?"
"I would like to help you", Remus repeated. "on helping Snape, that is." He added on in case Sirius didn't grasp what was going on.
Then, he looked Sirius in the eyes, waiting for the answer.
"Why?" After a few moments of silence, all Sirius managed to say was this as he anticipated.
Remus heaved a sigh, and started, "when Snape showed up in the Shack, I knew it was you."
The taller boy studied the other boy's expression. The handsome face was marred with a crease in between brows.
"I knew there was something going on, you and Snape. You've always been odd when it comes to him, even as a child. You were always been different to him. And things just got aggravated and lately, you were even worse than before. So, I knew something would happen. I knew you'd do something."
Sirius' perfect face was now contorted as if in pain. His jaw clenched and his fists balled. But he did not stop the boy. Remus appeared to just as uncomfortable as he continued.
"I knew you would do something to hurt him, but I did not stop you from doing it." He screwed his eyes shut; his breathing became ragged.
Sirius tried to stop him, finally grasping what he was trying to tell. It was not Remus' fault. What he did, he did it because of his own fault. His stupid recklessness, his cruel nature he himself disgusted by. But Remus held up his hand when Sirius opened his mouth.
"Let me finish." He took a deep breath. "It was also my fault, not stopping you when I had the chance." Then he let out a heavy sigh, as if he unloaded a huge burden off of himself.
He licked his dried lips and looked into Sirius grey eyes again, mirroring his own pain.
"I knew something will happen and I didn't do a single thing to prevent it. I let you on your own devices. I condoned what you were about to do." He balled his shaking hands into fists.
"I didn't care what happens to Snape as long as I don't have to see. I condoned you and I condoned myself for negligence."
Sirius couldn't say anything, didn't know what to say. It wasn't his fault, he kept repeating that to himself. But the intense look on Remus' expression kept him from voicing that out loud.
"And when I saw Snape, I knew it was my own doing. I got what I deserved."
"No." Sirius finally intervened, couldn't let Remus feel guilty over what he did. "No, Remus, that's not-"
"I'm not saying there wasn't your fault." Remus interjected. "I will no longer condone your sins, Sirius. That's what brought me here. I will not overlook your fault, nor mine."
Sirius fell silent.
"What you did was wrong as much as me doing nothing. But I see now that you are capable of redeeming yourself. You are trying to make amends. That clothes he was wearing, and his bag- they were from you, weren't they?"
Sirius nodded, gingerly.
"I thought so. Good for you. And good for him, too." The gentle smile returned to his expression. "I knew you were helping him out, long before that night when you were gone for a day and half. I knew you were genuinely sorry for what you did, and you wanted to redeem yourself. But I couldn't let myself accept that. I couldn't because I wanted to blame you for all of it."
"It wasn't your fault in the first place." Sirius finally spoke.
Remus smiled at that, albeit ruefully. "Yeah, right." He chuckled. "But it was, Sirius. Negligence equals to condoning, I knew that, but I let you and James do whatever the crazy stuff you two can think of. Because I was coward, because I was weak."
"You're not-"
"Sirius, please." Remus stopped him. "Let me finish."
Sirius closed his mouth.
"What I want to say is that you and I both have responsibilities for Severus Snape. And you are taking that responsibility while I wallow in self-loathing, trying to dump that responsibility on you. I'd like to change that now. I want to do something, to take my responsibility seriously."
Seeing those clear green eyes, Sirius could tell Remus was sincere and knew he couldn't let him down.
"I want to help Snape, so that I can make amends for my own faults."
Sirius bit his lower lip.
"I don't know what is wrong with Snape, but I'm sure I'd be of help. One more person to help is always better, isn't it?"
He just couldn't say no.
…...…...….
Life has abandoned Severus Snape. He was sure of it. Otherwise, things couldn't have gotten worse than they were before. Having Sirius Black at his side, at all times, was a torture itself but having Sirius Black and Remus Lupin at his side was not only unexpected and unwelcome but also extremely inopportune in the sense that he was now drawing every single resident of Hogwarts' attention. Apparently, some people find it strange to have two rival houses to mingle in such intimate way.
Whatever the fuck Black and Lupin talked about on the last day of Christmas holiday, Lupin volunteered to join in helping the Severus Snape out project. This itself was problematic enough but the worse thing is that unlike Black, Lupin doesn't shut up nor does he keep his distance from Severus.
All this led to Severus becoming agitated at all times, constantly worrying about being discovered.
He kept trying to send the boy away, making snide remarks about Lupin. But the boy wouldn't leave. He was well aware of the Gryffindor's stupidity, but he failed to realize that the marauders were exceedingly slow to catch hints.
.
Severus was in the dungeon for his potion class which was a joint class with the Gryffindors. Severus tried to block out the curious stares he was receiving but his nerves were on edge. He was too tired. Being pregnant wasn't easy but keeping it secret was a different level of difficulty. Especially true when there were two boys who were known as his enemies guarding his sides at all times, and people whispering and staring at him with curiosity.
Severus hissed as he cut himself on the silver blade, startled by the baby's sudden kicking. A red drop of blood started to form. He bit his lip. Great. He drew his wand from the table, tapped it gently on the cut and it closed itself. But the baby was not staying still. Severus wanted to press where the baby was kicking him, trying to soothe it. But he wouldn't dare doing it in front of everyone. He managed to smooth out his face and continued his work.
He could feel the pair of grey eyes digging into the back of his head. He tried to ignore it but with the baby constantly bothering him, he simply could not block it out.
Fortunately, the hour was almost ending. He just needed to hold for few minutes to get out of this stuffing room.
The baby kicked him hard again. He managed not to jerk but leaned against the table from the force. Was it normal for a baby have this amount of strength? Like father, like child. He mumbled. Then, he was shocked at his own thought.
He breathed shakily and put the last ingredient he was chopping into the cauldron, which turned murky grey. He tutted. It was supposed to turn clearer than this.
"Ahh, time's up, lads!" Boomed Professor Slughorn.
He bottled the phial with a cork and walked up to the table before stopped by Black.
"Wh-"
"Here, Moony", said Black, taking the phial from Severus' hand and handing it to Lupin.
Lupin took them, smiled, and went to the table. Severus looked the two with dumbfounded face. Black grabbed his bag and pulled him out of the classroom without a word. When he found a secluded corner, Black beckoned him there. Severus looked up at him with enquiring look.
"Where does it hurt?" Black asked.
Puzzled, Severus asked back, "what?"
"You looked uncomfortable at class, where does it hurt?"
Severus did not respond, partly due to his dumbfounded state.
"I think you should speak to Madame Pomfrey", Black heaved a heavy sigh, "you can't go on like this, I mean-"
Severus stared at him rambling on and on, until he heard enough to understand what he was saying.
"I'm fine", he stated.
At this, Black snapped. "No, you're not!"
Black looked infuriated. He hadn't lapsed back into his old temper that Severus was genuinely surprised at his expression.
"Fuck! Don't be fucking stupid! You're preg-"
Black halted when he felt Severus' belly under his palm as the smaller boy took his hand and placed it on his belly. Startled by the unexpected boldness, Black paused. When he calmed a little, he noticed the fluttering movement under his palm, which grew stronger as he stayed his hand there. He looked up from his hand to face Severus, who stared him back with a raised eyebrow.
Red tint crept Black's neck up to the tip of his ears.
He coughed, unnecessarily.
"If you have time to call me stupid, why don't you start explaining about Lupin?" Severus coldly retorted.
Sirius Black scrunched up his face, sensing the trouble he was in. "He's trying to help" was the only answer he could come up with. Severus snorted in obvious snigger, but Black couldn't respond. It sounded lame even to his own ears.
"Do you remember me when I told you I don't want anyone to know about my current state?" Severus asked.
Sirius rolled his eyes, but nodded, nonetheless.
"Do you remember, then, the reason behind it?" Severus challenged.
Sirius let out a frustrated sigh. Of course, he remembered. Blessed with brilliant brain as he were, he could recall every detail of that particular conversation as if it were yesterday.
He nodded, mutely.
"Then which part of it did you not grasp?" Severus hissed. He closed the distance between themselves, glaring dangerously. "This needs to be kept secret. You know that."
"Yes, I know." Sirius snapped, placing his other hand on Severus' waist, he leaned forward.
"I know you are worried but listen-"
"I want him gone." Severus demanded.
"Gone?" Sirius asked, incredulously.
"I want him away from me." Severus explained.
Sirius sighed, running a hand through his lustrous black hair. "Look, I get your point but-"
"But what?"
"He's my friend-"
"He's not mine."
Gulping down the urge to yell, Sirius continued, "He is my friend and, he wants to make amends for that night. He said he was sorry-"
"For what? For being a werewolf? For being used by his own friend?" Severus snickered.
Stung by his word, Sirius paused. "Stop that", Sirius said with a low voice.
Severus closed his mouth. He noticed that both of Black's hands were on his waist and felt mortified. He pulled back and looked away from that grey eyes. When he met them again, Severus was more calmed than before.
"He's going to notice it", said Severus.
"He won't", Sirius returned.
"How can you be so sure?"
"No one will suspect in that way. This is too fucking rare, even in wizarding world. You said so yourself." Sirius said.
"I'm still not comfortable with this."
"I know, but-"
"What if he figures it out? You still haven't brought me that book! What if it is in his possession? What if he reads the book and figures things out?"
"There weren't any mentions of-"
"But you don't know that. You said you don't remember much about it." Severus argued.
"What if he finds out?"
"Still, there's little chance that he'd think in that direction. I mean, your belly's hardly noticeable." Sirius suggested.
"Oh, is it? Is it unnoticeable that I'm starting to walk like a fucking penguin? What about my morning sickness? Hmm? What about every other sign that I'm-"?
Severus stopped his rant when he heard something. Sirius followed his gaze and saw Remus coming towards them. They shared a look together before pulling apart.
"Hey, sorry I'm late. Professor Slughorn started to ramble on about the Christmas party", said Remus, with a small smile on his face.
"No worry, mate."
"Did I miss something?" Remus asked, noticing the hostility and weariness on the Slytherin's face.
"Er, no", Sirius grinned. "Mate, why don't you go up to the Hall first? We'll catch up."
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, of course." Sirius replied, benign smile on his face.
Remus looked at Severus and smiled, "do you want me to take your bag?"
Severus rolled his eyes but handed the bag without a word. Remus beamed, pleased at the lack of retort. "Hurry up, you two."
When he was gone, Sirius turned to face Severus.
"I know you are worried but let me handle him."
Severus snorted; incredulity cleared on his expression.
"Whether you believe it or not, he's a good guy. He's just trying to help you; he feels guilty about the whole incident. Indulge him for a while, then I could tell him to put some distance, he'll back off. I promise. He'd respect you if you want distance, he always does."
"I told him to get away from me multiple times, already."
"That's because he thinks you're still angry at him. Give him a chance, please?" Sirius pleaded.
Severus paused. It was rare moment, he had to admit, to witness Black pleading for anything at all to him. Severus stared at the clear grey eyes. They were so clear that it almost looked like a pair of crystal, bluish but clear crystal. He quickly pulled himself out of that line of thought, taken aback.
"Severus" whispered Black.
Severus bit his lip, hard. A silence stretched, before Severus let out a defeated sigh and nodded reluctantly. Sirius smiled, genuinely pleased.
"Thanks."
Severus did not respond and turned towards the staircase that leads to the ground.