Chapter 19

Elizabeth had been walking down the street after school when she looked up and saw Lucas walk out of the saloon. Trying to avoid him she quickly ducked into Rosemary's shop and closed the door behind her, leaning heavily against the door she let out a breath of relief. He hadn't seen her which she was grateful for because she wasn't ready to confront him with an answer just quite yet about the trip to New York City and had not really settled anything with Nathan yet over the issue either. She got the feeling that Nathan was purposely trying to avoid the topic, but she knew that they would eventually have to face it and come to a decision, a decision that she was still very confused about.

As she stood against the door Rosemary came out of the back room, looking down at her sketch book and quickly jumped back when she looked up and saw Elizabeth standing at the door, "Elizabeth," she exclaimed, holding the book to her heart, "you startled me. I didn't hear the door open."

Elizabeth frowned, "that's because I was trying to be discreet and avoid Lucas."

"Oh." Rosemary looked confused and shook her head from side to side, eyebrows furrowed, "I thought you and he had cleared the air and had an understanding that you would just be friends. Why are you avoiding him?"

Elizabeth moved away from the door and threw her hands into the air in frustration and began to pace the floor, "Oh Rosemary. I thought so too, but now I'm not so sure. This whole thing about the publisher and Lucas wanting to travel with me to New York has me really questioning his intentions. Oh Rosemary, I don't know what to do. This has been my dream for so long, but I don't want to hurt Nathan or our chances of a future together."

"Well first off, you're going to stop waring a hole in the floor of my shop. I know Lee owns a lumber business, but I don't think he would be very happy to have to replace my floor."

Elizabeth gave her a sarcastic look, "Rosemary…."

"I'm joking of course."

"I'm being serious. The book deal has been a dream of mine for years, but I don't want to lose Nathan either. Rosemary, I love him and I can't picture my life without him in it. I need him, but I know he doesn't trust Lucas and I really don't blame him."

"Elizabeth, I understand that he doesn't trust Lucas and I can see why, but I guess my question is does he trust you? You have worked awfully hard for this opportunity and you'll only be gone for a month."

"I know, but by the time we travel there and back it might be more like 5 or 6 weeks."

"Is it really Nathan you are worried about or is it that you don't want to be away from him for that long?"

Elizabeth sighed, "that's part of it, but things have been going so well between us that I don't want to mess it up either."

"Well, sounds like your heart is torn. I can't tell you what to do, you're going to have to decide that on your own, but remember this opportunity doesn't come along every day and Nathan will always be here when you get back. It's a short time when you compare it to the rest of your life. Just talk to Nathan and make him work this out with you and then maybe it will become more clear. I do understand your dilemma though, I couldn't imagine being away from Lee for that amount of time."

"Well your no help," she said disappointed, "Your right though I need to go back and confront Nathan and make him talk this out and not avoid it."

Rosemary picked a plate up off the counter and waved it front of Elizabeth with a sympathetic look, "Cookie?"

Elizabeth picked the cookie up off the plate and shoving it in her mouth turned for the door, "Thank you." She then walked out onto the street and swiftly looked up and down in both directions. Once feeling satisfied that the coast was clear she headed towards the Mountie office.

She was grateful when she finally reached Nathan's office without being stopped by anyone. She walked through the door and closed it behind her. Nathan looked up from his desk and saw the worried look on Elizabeth's face, "Elizabeth." The smile he started to display quickly faded and he threw the pen he had been writing with down on the desk, "Why do I feel like I'm about to be ambushed."

Elizabeth looked down and then back up at him carefully choosing her words, "Nathan, I am not trying to ambush you, but we need to finish our conversation and I know you have been avoiding me about this trip to New York."

Nathan pushed his chair back and then stood up, shrugged his shoulders, and then crossed them over his chest, "I'm not trying to avoid you about this. I've just needed time to think about it."

"I'm running out of time. I need to make arrangements for where I'm going to stay if I go."

Nathan swallowed hard, "So then I take it you're leaning towards going?"

"I won't go without your approval, but just know that I have worked really hard for this and it has been a dream of mine for a long time. I don't know if I'll get another opportunity like this to make this book a success."

Nathan moved around the front of his desk and leaned against it so he was now standing in front of Elizabeth. He shook his head, "Elizabeth if you want me to be ok with you going on this trip with Lucas traveling with you then I just don't know if I ever will be, but I don't want to stand in the way of your dream either. I don't want you to wake up one day and resent me for the missed opportunity." He gave her a long gaze before exhaling a breath he had been holding and then continued, "I read the book and it's clear that you have a gift for storytelling. The book is fantastic and it deserves to be out there for others to read. I don't want to be that person that stands between you and your dream."

He could see the emotions of trepidation, fear, and worry in her face. She reached up and held the side of his face in her palm, "Nathan, I love you and the last thing I want to do is ruin what we have over a book that I wrote. You matter to me more than the book. If you truly aren't comfortable with this then just say so and I won't go."

He pursed his lips and opened them slightly in contemplation and then looked her straight in the eyes, "You know I can't do that. If we are meant to be then we will survive this. I can't keep you here because of the fear of losing you and I do support you with this book. I want you to fulfil your dreams, Elizabeth because I love you too and I don't want to hinder that dream. It's ultimately your decision. If you go I'll be waiting here for you when you get back."

She could see that he wasn't as confident about it as he was trying to be. There was a look of sadness and uncertainty in his eyes and he tried to smile, but it was devoid of it's normal spark. She slowly nodded her head, "Ok, I'll talk to Lucas and let him know that I will be going."

The sniffle that escaped Nathan did not go unnoticed by Elizabeth, "Oh Nathan." She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his chest and was relieved when he responded by pulling her in close.

They stood there for a few moments, taking comfort in one another and then Elizabeth pulled back without letting go and looked up at him for reassurance. "It's going to be ok," he said looking down into her eyes, "we will get through this. It's only a few weeks, right?"

He gave her a half smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and then he slowly drew his face closer to hers and met her lips with his in a slow, but deliberate kiss that left no question about what his feelings were for her. He pulled back and it left Elizabeth's head spinning and she could feel herself go weak in the knees. It seemed like every time he kissed her like that it was filled with even more passion and desire. "I love you, Elizabeth. Don't forget that."

She smiled up at him and then laid her head against his chest again, "How could I ever forget? I love you too, Nathan." They both stood there for what seemed like minutes upon minutes before Elizabeth finally let go so she could go home to Little Jack. She would deal with Lucas in the morning, but before stepping out the door of Nathan's office she looked back at him, "Will I see you for dinner tonight at my place?"

He smiled at her and said, "Of course, I wouldn't miss it."

"Good," she responded and then exited out the door of his office. After she was gone Nathan turned back to his desk and sat in his chair. Those old feelings of jealousy were beginning to creep into him again, but this time he refused to let them get the better of him. He might not trust Lucas, but he certainly knew without a doubt that Elizabeth loved him. Suddenly a thought came to his head and he wondered if Carson still had a copy of that photo that was taken at Jesse and Clara's wedding. He made a mental note to ask Carson and then standing up he walked over to the door and grabbed his hat to go do his rounds before picking up Allie at home and heading to Elizabeth's for dinner.

To Be Continued…..