AN: Thanks everyone once again for following, faving and reviewing! Also, thanks to my Beta Peiniger!
1saaa: Not gonna lie, I love the theories regarding Lockhart :D
EclipseNightClub: Pretty sure most of my readers expected Rose to win :) And you are welcome!
Roostertheking: Of course I'll reply :) And yeah, I don't want Rose to be this perfect person. She's gonna be great at some things but also flawed and bad at others. And who knows what's up with Lockhart and Draco?
Frost Merry Darkness Luver: Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? :P
ssj3gohan007: How anticlimactic would it be if, in the end, nothing happened with Lockhart lol.
Josie: Thank you very much! Glad you are enjoying it :)
The unfortunate loss to Gryffindor had, fortunately, not too much of an impact on the overall mood in the badgers' basement. Rose was still down, but Megan and the others did their best to cheer her up – successfully too.
She didn't want to disparage Harry's win, not by any means. Still, in the end, it was more luck than skill which decided the match. The snitch could have flown in any direction and ended up deciding for Harry's hand.
Talk about a bloody wanker for a golden, winged ball.
There was nothing that could be done though and life went on. At the end of the day, it was just a sport, a hobby.
Far more significant than that loss to Harry and the Gryffindor-team was how she got deeper and deeper into that role of being Rose. Was it even a role anymore? She couldn't tell. At times the struggles were there, especially when her memories of her previous life were necessary and when they were dominant. But when time began to blur, when her school life got busier and busier, she forgot. She forgot that she used to be Harry, she forgot that she used to be a guy. She forgot that this life hadn't even existed before she'd met Death itself.
In her first year, when everything was still so very fresh, she never forgot those things. She simply did not give herself the time to worry. She ignored everything because ignorance was bliss.
But now, more often than not, she started to feel like Rose. She started to be Rose.
She started to be a girl.
Was that a bad thing? Not necessarily. Her biggest worry had never been being a girl. Her biggest worry had always been how to be a girl. Girls could be amazing, just as blokes. Hermione, Gryffindor's full-female chaser lineup, even Ginny once she got over her crush – they were all amazing. There was also Cho, of course, Luna, all of her dorm-mates. Even Lavender and Parvati, who seemingly embraced every stereotype directed at the fairer sex and yet stood tall and proud.
They were all prime examples of great and strong girls and there surely were many more she had forgotten or not even met yet.
No, being a girl was not bad at all. But it was difficult to arrange her male memories with everything female going on in this life.
She was making progress though. The fact that this life was so much better than her previous life – in almost every aspect – made things a lot easier, too.
"Oh, I love those colours!" Megan exclaimed as she was sitting on Rose's bed. Rose, Megan, and the rest of the dorm were eyeing Rose's large purchase of cosmetic products. The delivery had to be done by multiple owls and it took almost two weeks of waiting, but the nail polish, make-up, witches' robes, and other fashion had all finally arrived. Rose had to admit that she was both incredibly nervous and excited to try everything out.
Just looking at all those things made her stomach clench in the best and worst ways, but she wanted to – no, she needed to take that leap. She needed to satisfy that niggling, permanent curiosity but she also needed to get comfortable with everything girly, no matter how stereotypical it was. She may or may not end up enjoying all that stuff, but that wasn't what was important here. What was important was to finally fully embrace herself – yes, herself – as who and what she was in this reality, as Rose Potter, a girl. She wasn't Harry anymore. Being Harry Potter was a memory. Important, obviously, but a memory nonetheless.
Here – in this life, in this reality – she was the little sister by however many minutes. She was Rose and being Rose was bloody great. It was about time that she was finally able to fully embrace and enjoy that greatness of being Rose, with everything that it entailed.
Like applying nail polish. The beige colour, the girls had painted her nails with at the beginning of the term, had looked so pretty, and she remembered how she stole what felt like a billion glances at her nails whenever she had the chance to. It made her feel prettier than she ever felt before and it had just been her nails! She wanted more of that feeling but was too shy and too embarrassed to ask.
Until now.
Plus all that other stuff about embracing her existence as Rose and all that jazz of course.
Rose grinned at her friend's excitement. Megan was almost like the Hufflepuff version of Lavender Brown and for a fleeting moment, she had to wonder if Hermione's complaints of the blonde Gryffindor had been fair at all. Maybe she'd end up striking a conversation with her one day soon-ish. Just to see. "I've been thinking a lot about, you know, all that make-up stuff and everything, and I kind of have a lot of fun with you guys whenever we mess around with that stuff, so…" Rose finished her explanation with a shrug.
Megan squealed and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. She sure was strong for someone who was barely any taller than her.
Her friend gave her a mile-wide smile. "I knew you were just indulging us but I also knew you'd want to try some things at your own pace." She then proceeded to arrange the different things before stopping and looking at her. "Where do we start?"
This time, Rose didn't dread a thing. This time, Rose was just as excited as Megan.
Days blurred into weeks and Rose soon found herself even more drowned in homework than she already had been. The teachers seemed to have found it appropriate to push through as much of the second term's curriculum as possible, no matter how much the student body had to suffer.
And they suffered a lot.
While she didn't enjoy these – admittedly common – periods of an average school term, Rose still had some experience in handling them, so she made it through them without a nervous breakdown.
Unlike some poor Ravenclaw girl in the Great Hall during dinner, who suddenly broke out in tears. The stress of being a fifth-year – Rose remembered that very well. Although, admittedly, she'd had the additional stress of being slandered.
Rose enjoyed her life a lot and it was still such a foreign concept to her – the concept of enjoying one's life – that it often still had a surreal feel to her.
If she had to be a girl to actually be able to love life, then so be it. She couldn't bring herself to complain about it anymore. Bleeding down there every month for a week, growing breasts – so bloody what? Life was good. Being a girl was scary, yes, but this life was also the single greatest thing that had ever happened to her. She never really had been happy as Harry. That much was fact.
Life was really good.
Before she knew it, Christmas had arrived. She was excited to see Sirius again and could barely sit still throughout the train ride back home.
Home.
Watching Harry – happily chatting with Ron, Hermione, Neville and Ginny – in the compartment next to hers made her feel so warm and content. When she used to be Harry, the train rides from Hogwarts to London had always been a very solemn affair.
No, this was good. This was right. She'd let herself get resurrected a million times as a girl if this was the life she'd end up getting. Just that grin on Harry's face was worth everything.
"So, what are you going to get me?" Megan asked after bumping Rose with her shoulder.
Rose snorted. "What's the point of a present if you already know what it is?"
"The point is that I then know what it is."
With a small shake of her head, Rose shoved Megan playfully.
She thought she'd have a harder time bonding with the firsties considering she had the memories of a fifteen-year-old. Yet, the reality was that she embraced the joys she had of being that young she had missed out on. In some bizarre ways, she could count herself lucky. Who else could say they had had the chance to relive the things one had missed out on in life?
It was nice to find out what actually truly being happy and content with life felt like. As Harry, she wasn't sure if she would ever get to have that privilege. It turned out her doubts weren't misplaced. That privilege seemed to have been reserved for her existence as Rose.
Nevertheless, she didn't mind. She would enjoy this peace for as long as it would last. Sooner or later, the dark times would arrive, Bellatrix's death notwithstanding. There were still other fanatics at large after all. But those days were still some ways away.
"Would you guys like to come over after Christmas?" Rose asked the group. It was the first time she'd ever invited anyone to a place she called home, so her heart was beating painfully in her chest.
Megan, however, was wasting no time to nod enthusiastically. "Oh, I'd love to! I'll have to talk to my parents first, though."
"I'm sure Sirius will talk with them in case they have questions," Rose said. She then turned to the rest. "What about you? I'd love to have all of you over."
"Auntie won't mind. I'd love to!" Susan said with a grin and Hannah quickly joined in on the excitement.
"I'd love to come too!"
"I can't", Sally-Anne said with obvious disappointment. "My family is going to spend the hols in the Canary Islands."
Lily looked just as disappointed. "And we in Madeira."
Rose gave the two girls an impressed look. "Wow, I've got to talk to Sirius about spending our hols elsewhere at some point."
"Will it just be us girls?" Megan asked and suddenly Rose kind of felt like being put on the spot.
She hadn't exactly planned this invitation as a girls-only thing, but now it would be super awkward to disagree with the others.
It would be okay though. It'd be fun, she was sure of it. Plus, wanting to invite boys to Grimmauld Place would definitely cause Sirius to age by a decade or two. She could certainly live without those awkward moments.
And for just a fleeting moment, she wondered if she'd end up liking boys, girls or maybe both and what any of the above would mean for her, both as Rose and her memories of being Harry. As quickly as they came, though, she brushed those thoughts away.
There still was a lot of time until that point would be reached.
"Yep," she answered and didn't even have to force out a grin. "It'll just be us girls."
Christmas came and went. For her, it had been the best time she had ever had, in both her lives. Harry, Sirius, Remus, the whole Tonks family, she – all of them together had made Christmas a real family experience and Andromeda's cooking had been sublime. It almost felt like a dream to have actual people there, an actual family to celebrate this special holiday, but it had been real indeed. She threw quite a few glances at her twin and it always made her heart clench in the best ways to see him that happy. Just having these few people here to celebrate Christmas, as this weird patchwork family that they were, had Harry wear a smile that could light up the darkest corners of the universe.
And, as if her Christmas hols weren't going fantastically already, Megan, Susan and Hannah spent the day after Christmas at Grimmauld Place. They didn't do anything really special. She showed them around the house, showed them her room and the miniature garden she had set up in her room which was tended to by Tappy, their house-elf. Tappy also brought them butterbeer and a slice of sinfully sweet treacle tart to her room.
She had to have seconds or Harry would have devoured the rest all by himself.
She had a great time with the other girls just chatting and giggling and laughing, and she wished Sally-Anne and Lily had been able to join them too, though she was sure the sunny beaches they were visiting during the British winter was consolation enough for those two.
And more quickly than Rose would have liked the Christmas hols were over and it was time to go back to Hogwarts.
Late February arrived and the second Quidditch match for Hufflepuff was close. This time she would be the one sitting on the sidelines while Cedric would be playing. She hoped he'd have more luck than she did with that bloody snitch.
She and the rest of the second year Hufflepuffs were all currently in the common room when Cedric entered with a few of whom she assumed to be his friends. She waved at him lazily upon seeing him. "Hey, Cedric."
He smiled at her. "What's up?"
Under the watchful gaze of her friends, she got up from her comfortable seat and walked over to the fourth years. "I was wondering if you've got an idea already for the Ravenclaw match. Y'know, how we are going to decide who's going to play and all that."
Cedric ran a hand through his hair, messing up his messy mop even more. Rose could see why her friends were swooning over him so much. "No clue," he replied with a shrug. "Do you have something in mind?"
"Nope." She shrugged. "I was kind of hoping you'd have an idea so…"
He grinned roguishly. "Sorry to disappoint. What kind of contest or competition are we even talking about?"
"Nothing too barmy, obviously." She cocked her hip to the side and rested her hand on it. "It could be, like, who gets the most house points or...the best grades in our next essays. Or who can eat the most treacle tarts in one go."
Cedric had to laugh at that. "That's one contest I won't allow. I've seen you swallow those whole."
Did she really eat them like that? It'd be bloody embarrassing if she did and, even more so, if Cedric had really seen it. She felt her cheeks heat up. "It was just a suggestion!" She took a breath. "So, any preferences?"
"Something academic is fine, I guess." He shrugged. "Let's just do who gets the most house points up until one week before the Ravenclaw match."
"Alright then. The competition starts after the Slytherin match." She gave him a light punch against his shoulder – something that made her realize just how much taller he was than her, or just how short she was, considering how high she had to reach just for that little punch. "Good luck in advance."
"Thanks, see you around, Rose."
She gave him another lazy wave and, after turning back towards her friends and seeing the greedy looks on Megan's and Sally-Anne's eyes, she groaned inwardly, fully aware that she had to recount her conversation with Cedric minute-by-minute.
Oh well, a sacrifice she was willing to make. Such little things just didn't bother her as much anymore the more comfortable she got with being a girl.
Just a little sacrifice in the grand scheme of things.
Hufflepuff indeed managed to win against Slytherin and the badgers' den celebrated the upset deep into the night. Cedric made a clutch catch which secured the win, considering the Hufflepuff team had been dominated by Slytherin for most of the match. No one cared, though. The win was what counted. Good thing that Draco made for a terrible seeker.
However, the win soon got forgotten as school went on for everybody. School, after the initial weirdness, became normal enough for the most part. Rose had gotten used to Lockhart's competence and his strange obsession with snakes and parselmouths. Nothing indicated anything sinister going on in his head and no basilisk was wreaking havoc in the school.
So, with nothing to worry, she entered the DADA classroom once the door opened and took her seat, waiting for Lockhart to begin.
Lockhart gave the class a big smile. "Children, I have something special for you today."
Rose sighed inwardly. She already had a feeling where this was going to go and dreaded it. The peaceful times just had to have been too good to last for too long.
"I have some illustrations and photographs for you. Both are of snake symbols, snake-shaped locks, statues and other such things said to have been used by Salazar Slytherin himself." His eyes were shining with excitement as he looked from student to student and Rose felt like he was piercing right through her soul with his gaze. "It is said that Slytherin hid his most secret lairs behind such things – locks and statues looking like snakes – and only a parselmouth could command them to open."
Indeed, once she got her set of photographs and illustrations, she saw that each had eerie similarities to what she'd seen at the entrance of the Chamber of Secrets and inside of it.
And, after seeing that, her worries returned with a vengeance.