Will I ever understand?
Hermione was getting ready to start crying. No, she wasn't mulling over her love life, or lack thereof, or the fact that Harry and Ron were mad at her because she had decided to live at the Manor again, which she was already regretting. No, she wanted to cry because she needed to get some work done and Draco was being an idiot. Neville had sent her the papers she had needed and their essays had been accepted. They would print the book and sell it by the time the twins were born. But other than that, he wouldn't let her work. She had yelled, ranted, and spat at him, but nothing seemed to work. Her new tactic was whining. Stupid Malfoy.
But… something occurred to her. Since when did she listen to anything Malfoy tried to say? He wasn't the boss of her! She scoffed to herself and grabbed a quill and some parchment to write on. He wasn't going to take away something she loved, and Hermione loved her job. Besides, the healer had said that she could do paperwork. Maybe Neville would agree to come over one or two hours a day so that they could use the Malfoy's library for resources.
"Miss Hermione?" asked an elf from the doorway.
She looked up from the letter and smiled. "Yes?"
"A Mr. Ronald Weasley is here to see you. He is waiting in the sitting room," said the elf.
"Oh, thank you. Do me a favor and send this letter with an owl to Neville Longbottom and also, please send some juice and cookies to Ron and me. Thank you," she said as she stood with a bit of difficulty from the chair she had been occupying. She just hoped Ron hadn't come over to yell at her. She'd been crying even more than usual as of late and she didn't want a repeat of past episodes.
Only last night she had burst into tears over something Lucius had said about the twins growing bigger every day inside her. She felt like he had implied that she was fat. And it was true, her stomach was huge, but he didn't need to point out the obvious. Especially when she was so sensitive to everything around her. As she made it downstairs with only slight fatigue, she spotted Ron pacing. As soon as he saw her, he stopped and stared.
"Geez Mione, you're huge!" he commented.
Instead of tears sprouting to her eyes, anger reared its head. "Well, thanks for pointing that out you nitwit. I just so happen to be carrying two babies instead of one, so it's natural for me to be this big," she snapped.
Ron looked visibly embarrassed. "Sorry. I guess you weren't expecting me to say that," he muttered. "Come here Mione."
She walked over slowly and crossed her arms over the bump of her stomach. "How can I help you?" she asked, trying to sound polite.
"Harry is still peeved at the fact that you came back here after all the shit Malfoy put you through, but I'm not. I mean, he's got the money to take care of you, why not just let him? I'm here to say… sorry for overreacting. Though I still hate him for what he did to us, he wants to take care of you and the twins and that's what's important," he muttered.
Hermione smiled and hugged him, feeling tears brim at her eyes. Ron patted her back gently and frowned when he heard her sniffling. "You okay?" he asked her, guiding her to the sofa.
She nodded. "I just missed you guys. Tell Harry that I'm sorry but I have to consider what's best for my twins. I'm so thankful that he helped me when I needed it the most, but I'm not the only person I need to think about now," she said as they sat down. Ron sat close to her and leaned back, letting her lean with him and place her head against his shoulder.
Ron let out a heavy sigh and kissed her forehead. "It's so strange," he murmured.
"What is?" she asked with a small smile.
"That we've come so far in so little time. I thought that I would pine for you until my dying day. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts when I think of the life we could've had together but that was denied to us. But… I'm happy, Mione. I love my son and I love Lav. She helped me when I needed it the most, even though mum was being difficult with her."
Hermione smiled and squeezed his hand. "Never thought we would end up with different people, huh?" she asked. "I always thought we would get married and have kids together. But, in spite of all that's happened with Draco, he's given me the best gift a woman can have. I was so scared at first, but now I know that he'll do his best to be a good father to the twins. He wants to be a part of their lives and… of mine," she said slowly.
Ron grunted. "The most important thing is, do you want to be with him again? If you love him, and he loves you, why are you putting yourself through all this? I'll hate Malfoy to my dying day, but if he made you happy the time you were together, why don't you just forgive him and get together again?"
Hermione rubbed her stomach to ease some of the kicks from the twins. Technically, if the twins reached their entire gestation, she was due next month. But her healer had warned her that it was more than likely that they would be born a few weeks earlier. Most twins were, so she would most likely be going into labor any day now. It scared her to death that they would be out too early, but so far they were healthy and at a good weight to survive being born this early. "Feel this," she muttered, taking Ron's hand and placing it on her stomach. He grinned when he felt the separate kicks from inside. "The healer told me that they can be born any day now, so I have to focus on relaxing. They need to stay in there as long as possible. I can't get into anything with Draco right now because anything that has to do with him usually involves a lot of stress," she said with a faint smile.
"But… what are you going to do after the twins are born?" he asked curiously.
Hermione grimaced as a foot crammed against her ribs. "I'm going to get my own flat. Merlin knows Harry won't be able to handle all the crying in the middle of the night, and my mum is going to move in with me to help take care of them. I'll probably just stay here until I'm a bit recovered from the labor and I get used to being around the twins. It's a bit scary to think that I'm going to be responsible for two tiny beings that will need me for eighteen or more years."
Ron nodded. "I know the feeling," he said, trailing off with a laugh. "Roan is a handful. He knows exactly how to cry when he wants to be picked up from his crib. Lav spoils him too much and the brat knows he can get away with anything."
Hermione grinned and looked up when someone entered the room. Her grin widened and she would've stood up, but she couldn't quite make it. "Blaise!" she exclaimed happily.
"Don't get up sweetheart," he said, sitting on her other side and hugging her tightly. "Goodness, look at you."
"I know. I'm huge. You can thank these two," she said, rubbing her stomach.
"You're still beautiful," he complimented and Hermione fluttered her lashes at him playfully.
"Hey, aren't you still my sister's boyfriend?" Ron asked darkly.
Blaise grinned. "Of course, and she knows I'm here but she had to stay at work. She sends you her love. We're sorry we haven't been able to visit but we were out of town for a few months," he explained to Hermione.
"Where were you?" Hermione asked.
"We went to New York for a job and we stayed for a short vacation. She wanted to be back in time to be with you these next few days and to see the twins when they come into this world," he said, patting her stomach. "How are the boys?" he asked smugly.
"They aren't boys," said Ron from her other side.
"Hermione isn't telling, but I know that they're going to be boys," he said, sounding sure of himself.
"It's a boy and a girl," Ron countered. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Care to wager on that?" asked Blaise.
"You're on!" Ron exclaimed; they shook hands right in front of her face.
"Hey!" Hermione complained. "The least you can do is bet on my twins without me knowing. But I'm not going to tell you. One of you is right, but you won't know who until the twins are born."
"We'll discuss what we're going to wager later, when Mione is out of earshot," Ron said.
Blaise nodded and took out his wand before waving it and producing a big box that was beautifully wrapped with silver tissue paper and tiny bears hugging each other every few seconds. "We found this in New York and thought of you," he said with a smile.
"You're both going to have to help me here," Hermione said as she tried sitting a little straighter and Ron helped place two cushions at her back. Blaise moved the gift onto her lap and held it while she unwrapped it, trying not to tear the pretty paper too much.
She gasped when she saw what was inside. It was a big basket filled with things for two babies, in blue and beautifully set up. There were blankets, body suits, booties, little hats, and burping cloths. Upon closer inspection, she found that even though the clothing looked to be the same, they had different design to help distinguish the twins. "The clothing has a charm that will sew the name of the baby into the clothes once you know what you're going to name them. That way people who visit will know who they're holding. I know you said something about them not being identical, but you never know, especially if they're both boys," he said matter-of-factly.
"One is a girl," Ron muttered.
"You keep thinking that," Blaise replied.
Hermione snickered. "What if it turns out that one is a girl?" she asked as she touched the clothing and felt the soft material.
Blaise shrugged. "Even though I'm rooting for two boys, if there's a girl, there's also a charm to change the color to pink."
She smiled and hugged him as best she could. "Thank you so much. The gift is beautiful. Tell Gin that I really appreciate it and that I can't wait for her to come visit me. Draco is being an ass and he doesn't want to let me out of the house. I want to check on the trauma center, but he won't let me."
"Have you two made up yet? This situation is getting plain silly," Blaise said as he kept rubbing her stomach in soothing circles. Hermione felt the twins calm and realized they were probably sleeping.
She shrugged. "We never were the most mature people when we were young. I guess it followed us into adulthood. But no, he and I speak strictly about the twins only. He may have been the first to admit that he loved me, but I don't think I'm ready to place my trust in him again. He has to earn it."
Ron and Blaise's eyebrows shot up. "He said the 'L' word first?" the dark haired man asked in shock.
Hermione nodded. "We're kind of in limbo right now. He put himself out there, but I don't know what to do. Half of me wants us to be together again, while the other half is telling me to keep my distance because he will only hurt me again. I don't know what to do."
"You should just wait for the babies to be born," said Ron, patting her hand. "Once they're here, you'll do what's best for them."
"Ron is right," Blaise murmured, ignoring the smug look on the red-head's face. "All you have to focus on now is relaxing and making sure that the twins are healthy, all right?"
Hermione nodded and smiled; at least two men in her life have proved that they had a brain in that head. What would she do without them? "Can you both stay for lunch? I get kind of lonely sometimes. Narcissa has lunch with me almost every day, but she's not here today and the healer ordered me to stay off my feet, so I can't really go out anywhere."
"I would love to stay," said Blaise with a smile.
"Me too," Ron piped in. "What are we having?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. He was the some Ron she knew and loved. Always thinking with his stomach. "Help me up from this couch and we can go see what the elves are cooking, and don't give me that look. I'm allowed to walk around the house as long as I don't stay on my feet for too long," she said as she pulled the other two men along.
They visited the elves and took in the wonderful smell of food as they cooked some type of chicken with spices Hermione had never even heard of. They were ushered out and the food was served shortly after, but before they sat down to eat, the sound of the door to the floo room opening caught their attention. Neville walked in with a nervous smile on his face. "Hey Nev, what are you doing here?" Hermione asked. "Do you want to have lunch with us?"
"I think I'm too nervous for lunch," he said with a grin. "But thank you for offering. I know that you're supposed to be calm and all because of the babies, but I just the most exciting news!" he exclaimed.
Hermione gave him a look. "What news?" she asked curiously.
"The trauma center is going to receive an award for all the great work that has been accomplished in such a short time. Thanks to you, we're the top researchers in the country, Hermione, and they want to recognize your work with an award with a ceremony and all that."
"Who is?" Blaise asked.
"The Ministry of Magic, but not just ours, others from around the country will be there too, and offers of funding had been pouring in," Neville said happily.
Hermione stood and hugged him as best she could. "Oh, Nev, that's wonderful!" she exclaimed as he gave her a squeeze. "When is the ceremony?"
"Next month," he said, his smile fading a little. "I told them that there would be a great possibility that you wouldn't be able to attend because of the babies, but these people said that they can't postpone such an event. Apparently, they are busy people and they have been planning this for a couple of weeks now."
Hermione shrugged but kept her smile on her face. "You'll go in my place. Nev, the trauma center has turned into what it is because of you and all the other people who work with us. I'd be honored if you went in my place."
Neville smiled but paled. "D-does that mean that I have to give a speech in front of people?" he asked her.
Ron stood and slapped him on the back. "Good luck, Neville. We'll be rooting for you. We have faith in you and we know you'll make a great speech."
Neville laughed nervously. "Y-yeah, I'll try my best," he said, still not believing that Hermione was going to leave him to take the reigns of the trauma center while she had her kids. He'd been trying to come to terms for a the last few months, but he still was getting used to it.
"Sit down and have lunch, Nev. Then we'll all go visit the trauma center, unless you two can't go," she said to Ron and Blaise.
"Shouldn't you stay off your feet?" asked Ron sternly.
"Come on, I just want to get some fresh air and check on my trauma center. It won't take long!" she whined. She gave them all the puppy-dog look she hadn't used since she had been fifteen.
"Do all women have that look?" Blaise muttered.
"Yes," Ron and Neville said in unison.
"Great, then it's settled. We'll all go. Nothing will go wrong if you guys are there with me. Trust me!" she said brightly. The men just looked at each other and offered no comment.
"Won't take long my arse," Ron said under his breath as they all looked into the creature nursery. There was a group of baby Nifflers with their mother in a big pen with a warming spell surrounding it.
"Aren't they cute?" Hermione asked with a smile.
"Incredibly," said Blaise in a flat tone. "I thought you said your visit would be short. We've been here for two hours, Hermione, and what's worse, you refuse to sit down. If our dear Malfoy finds out, he'll have our heads on his wall after he hunts us down, yours included."
"He can try," said Hermione with a smirk. "But I'll take him down before he even raises his wand," she said smugly. "Besides, I'm not tired. I feel so full of energy now that I see this place after being gone so long." As soon as she had finished the sentence, she tensed and gripped Ron's arm.
He looked at her and frowned. "You okay?" he asked her.
"Yes, but I think I need to sit down now," Hermione replied as they guided her out of the nursery and walked her to some chairs placed in the hallway. As she was sitting down, she tensed again and laid a hand on her stomach. Something was most definitely wrong. It didn't hurt, but she was starting to feel discomfort and her stomach was incredibly hard.
Ron touched her stomach and frowned, remembering Lav's symptoms when she had gone into labor. He paled and forced her to meet his eyes. "You think you're going into labor?"
She felt a jolt of pain and nodded. "Damn it, yes. They aren't due for another three weeks, almost four," she moaned in pain. "I need to get to St. Mungos. They need to check me and to see if these aren't false labor pains, though they feel pretty real to me," she muttered as Ron and Blaise helped her to her feet and walked her to the floo.
Blaise went first, then Hermione followed, and finally Ron. They walked her to the desk and the woman directed them to the correct section of the hospital. The healer who always saw her was on her day off, but would be coming in soon to take care of her, but meanwhile another healer checked her and let her know that this was the real thing. Those were not false labor pains.
Ron and Blaise stepped into the room and gave her a smile once the healer had left. She was sitting on the bed, her hands digging into the sheets. "I'm not ready," she gasped, laying back onto the bed. "It's too soon and I'm not ready. I've been thinking about this day for a while now, and I'm not ready. I thought I was," she said, a few tears trailing down her face.
"We're here for you, Mione," said Ron, kissing her knuckles. "Harry and Malfoy are on their way. Zabini sent them both an owl. Just focus on the twins and don't think about anything else. You can worry after they're born because right now they need you to help bring them into this world," he murmured gently.
Hermione nodded and let out a shaky breath. "Okay," she said, voice a bit breathy with the pain. "Thanks. I needed someone to tell me that."
"That's what I'm here for," Ron said with a grin.
"And I'll take over when Weasley runs out of things to say to you," Blaise put in, making her laugh despite the pain.
"Draco is going to flip out, and I'm not exactly in a comfort zone here. Just, try to keep him at bay unless you all want me to get off this bed to curse him to hell. I don't need my wand to curse him if I'm angry enough," Hermione said before letting out a deep breath.
"I'll go wait for him outside then," Blaise said before pressing a kiss to her temple and walking out.
Blaise sat outside for a while. Potter walked in and had some type of reunion with Hermione. When he had gone in to check on her, Potter was pacing nervously, while Weasley was sitting on the only chair reading a magazine. He had to admire their friendship because even though Potter looked as if he would pass out at any moment, he was comforting her, talking to her to get her mind off of the pain.
Draco arrived about five minutes later. He was paler than usual and he looked even more nervous than Potter. "How is she?" he asked.
Blaise shook his head. "She's fine. In her room, trying not to freak out Potter. If you ask me, he looks pretty green. Much the same way you do. Look, I understand that this must be a big moment for you and Hermione, but if you hurl on these dragonhide boots, so help me, I will skin you alive," said Blaise patting him on the shoulder.
Draco smirked. "Limited edition, aren't they? Only you could be so worried about some ugly boots while my ex-wife is in there, getting ready to have my children," he muttered. "How did you know she went into labor? Did she call you and the other two before she called me?" he asked darkly.
Blaise debated on whether or not to tell him about their excursion to the trauma center. He voted not to. "No, she didn't call us. Weasley and I were visiting her at the Manor. I owled you and Potter once we were here," he replied, leaving out that one important detail as to where she had been when she had gone into labor.
"I need to go see her," Draco said with a sigh.
"Hey," Blaise called as his friend reached the door. "Whatever she tells you, remember, she needs you to be her strength. Don't crowd her or agitate her. She's about to make you a full-fledged father of twin boys."
"Boys?" Draco asked. "How do you know they're boys?"
Blaise shrugged. "She won't tell me if I'm right, but my gut instinct is telling me that she's having boys."
The blond just smirked and stepped into the room. Weasley and Potter gave him looks full of derision and promises of worlds of hurt if he made Hermione angry or sad. He looked at her next and gave her a look over. Even in her pain and with her wild, bushy hair, she was beautiful. "Can you give us a moment?" he asked the two other men.
They looked at Hermione and she nodded. "Thank you so much for being here," she said with a smile.
"We'll be here until the twins are born," Harry said with a grin. "We wouldn't miss seeing them for the first time before anyone else."
"Thank you," she said again. "Oh, and please contact my mother. If either one of you can bring her over here, I would really appreciate it."
They nodded and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind them. Draco turned to look at her and smiled. "We need to talk," he said quietly.
"About what?" she asked as a contraction hit her. A gasp slipped from her lips and he was at her side in a second. "It's passing," she said. "They're not to close together yet, and the healer says that it can take a few hours for be to be fully ready."
Draco nodded and stroked the skin of her stomach gently. "I'll be here the entire time, but I want to know something. Now, before they're born." She nodded and he spoke. "How long will you stay at the Manor after having the twins?"
"I don't know. I just need to adjust to them before I move out on my own. I'm planning on getting a flat. My mother will come live with me to help take care of the babies," she said quickly.
His eyes narrowed slightly. "I don't want you to leave."
"We aren't married anymore, Draco. Things won't work out if I live with you permanently. I know that you don't want to be away from them, but I need my space. I can't be so close to you and…" Hermione trailed off and looked away from him.
"And what?" he asked, sitting on the bed next to her. "Tell me."
She shook her head. "There are things that are better left unsaid."
"Why can't you just trust me again? Merlin, Hermione. I want you to be my wife again, but you're too damned stubborn to see it. I want us to be a happy family, and I know we can do it, but only if you let go of the past."
"It's not as easy as you make it sound," she snapped, finally getting angry. Another pain hit her and she closed her eyes as she tried to ride it out. "I can't just say, 'oh yes Draco, I love you too. Let's forget about the blackmail, and the fact that you kicked me out of your life without even asking me what I felt. Let's forget about you and Greengrass too. We'll be a happy family and nothing will ever come between us.' Is that what you want?"
"You make it sound like it's something impossible he snapped back. I know that you will always remember what I did to you, but you said that you needed time. How much more time do you need to decide if you want to be with me again?" he asked in exasperation.
Hermione bit her lip in pain and felt like hurling the pitcher of water at his head. Here she was in pain, trying to give birth to his kids and he was being a jerk about everything. "Can we have this conversation later?" she almost yelled.
"What? You mean when the twins turn eighteen or when they're about to marry other people?" he asked petulantly.
"You are such an asshole, Draco Malfoy," she spat. "I'm in pain here, and all you can think about is yourself. I need bloody fucking time to think about giving you a chance. But if it'll shut you up, I'll give it to you. After the twins are born, if you can prove to me that we can be happy, then I will be with you again. Meanwhile—" she trailed off into a moan of pain. Only then did she realize that her hand was in his, and it made her see that he was really there for her when she needed him the most.
"What?" he asked as her eyes opened and gazed into his.
"We'll have to start from the very beginning," she said with a wince as she tried to sit up a bit.
His pale eyes were slightly confused. "What does that mean exactly?"
"That means that you have to woo me," she said with a faint smirk. "Again. We will go out, and get to know each other again, and you will be patient because I will not give you the chance to play with me again. Then you'll be my boyfriend, and you will propose to me the way a man should. If you do it the right way, maybe, maybe I will be inclined to marry you again," Hermione said seriously.
Draco chuckled lightly and nodded. "Okay," he said, leaning forward to kiss her.
Hermione moved her face to the side and saw him frown. "We're barely getting to know each other, you can't just kiss me like that," she said flatly.
He rolled his eyes and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. "I think those rules don't count when you're about to have my children," he stated matter-of-factly. "You're still going to move out?"
She nodded. "I've always been independent. You can't expect me to change now. But I'll stay for this first precious month of their lives. I want you to be there too. They'll need you as much as I will."
Draco smiled and nodded. "You are the most difficult person I have ever met."
"But you still love me despite that," she muttered.
"Yes. I do," Draco said, that smile still on his lips.
It out that the twins were born until five am the next morning. They weighed five pounds, almost six, and were pretty tiny. They looked like tiny house elves, Draco mused as he stared down at his two sons, who were sleeping in a bassinet big enough for the both of them. One had blond hair, the same shade of his, and the other had hair as dark as Hermione's. He had yet to see their eyes, but even though they reminded him of elves, they were beautiful because they were half his and half Hermione's.
She was currently sleeping, recovering after a particularly rough labor. But she had been strong all the way. If she had been in a lot of pain, she didn't show it much. She was the bravest woman he had ever seen or met. She deserved the rest she was getting. He walked out of the room and to the waiting room where Zabini, Potter, and Weasel were all asleep at odd angles. Draco smirked and kicked the three of them awake. "They're okay. All three of them," he said in a low voice.
"What did she have?" Ron asked, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.
"Have you named them yet?" Blaise asked next.
"Darius and Darien are sleeping, as is Hermione… Thank you… for being here," he muttered, not willing to say anymore.
"We're here for her," Harry said as he motioned to Ron and himself.
"Regardless. Even while she was in pain, she worried about all three of you out here, getting no sleep," he said the last with a hint of sarcasm. "If you want to see the twins, do it now while no medi-witches are around. These aren't visiting hours. Hermione is out cold so she won't even know you're there, but I'll tell her that you didn't get a wink of sleep out of worry for her."
Blaise rolled his eyes and slapped him on the back roughly. "You see? I told you she was having boys." He turned to Weasley. "I guess you lost the wager."
"What wager?" Draco asked darkly. "You were betting on my ex-wife and my sons?"
"Of course not," Ron said dryly, but he offered no more words before he and Potter walked to Hermione's room.
"Your dad came over yesterday evening. He said he and your mum would come over later today," his friend said. "What was it like? Seeing something like a child coming through her…" he shuddered.
Draco nodded. "Being squeezed, you mean. It was strangely a very meaningful moment, even though it was probably the creepiest thing I have ever seen," he said, looking slightly pale again at the memory. "She was strong all the way. She almost broke my hand, but we both survived this unscathed. I don't she'll want anymore kids in a very long time."
"Did you two work things out?" Blaise asked him.
Draco smirked and nodded once. "I have to date her again," he said in amusement. "She said that if I do it right, and propose to her the way I should, she'll be wife again soon."
"Congratulations, man," he said honestly. "She deserves to be happy, so… just don't hurt her again," Blaise said before following the two other men. He was curious to see what the twins looked like.
Once they were gone, he sat with Darien in his arms, back in Hermione's room. This twin was the blond one, and he had been born second. He had also been the first one to start crying because he was hungry. They were both incredibly small, but Draco had no doubt that they would both grow into strong men. The healer had told him to keep him close and warm because even though they were healthy, they were still quite small and would have weaker defenses than other babies who reached the full forty weeks.
A medi-witch had brought over a bottle of formula and had showed him the proper way to feed him and how to burp him afterwards. Draco stood and placed the boy back into the self-warming bassinet after placing a gentle kiss against his tiny forehead. Then he picked up his other son and smiled. This one looked like Hermione, though she had insisted that they were too small to look like either of them yet. He opened his eyes and the smile widened. He had gray eyes.
He looked up and saw Hermione stir, before she blinked her eyes open in the dim room and smiled when she saw him holding their baby. "How are they?" she asked sleepily.
"Perfect," he replied, walking over to show her the boy. "I've just fed Darien and I'm getting ready to feed this guy," he said gently.
Hermione nodded. "Wish… I could feed… them," she said faintly. "Tired…"
"Get some sleep," he said, not even realizing that he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep himself. "I'll be with them until you wake up."
"Kay…" she said.
"I love you," he whispered to her.
"Love… too…" Hermione said so softly he had to strain to hear her.
Draco looked down at the boy in his arms, little Darius, and smirked. Mindful of the baby in his arms, he leaned forward and kissed her lightly freckled nose. Hermione loved him too. Could his life get any better?