Finals are over, woooo! Finally got some time to get these oneshots done. Credit for this idea goes to Bookwyrm. You asked for Malroth and the pumpkin shenanigans courtesy of Perry—ask and ye shall receive! I hope this did your idea justice :D
To StormfernOfUnderClan: thank you for reading! and no worries, I will post the first chapter on here for you guys both as a preview and to let you know when it's up :)
To Ja ne Kat: thank you for your kind words! And ooh, those are some good ideas... Especially the one where he outlives her, I think that would break all of our hearts but it's also a realistic concept. We don't really know whether Malroth is a regular human after all is said and done, so who knows? Maybe he won't age like the rest of his friends, and that is an absolute tragedy (but a good tragedy to write about!). Thank you for sharing! ^_^
Perry knew the risks, but some risks were worth taking.
Pumpkin Peril
It was a beautiful day on Furrowfield—the sun was shining, the Deitree was flourishing, and the land around Rosie's farm was green and healthy. As the farmers went about completing their chores, the Builder was hard at work crafting things. The harvest festival would be held that very night, and so everyone was scrambling to finish up last-minute preparations.
Malroth and the Builder were off on some small adventure to gather more building resources. The blonde had been talking about putting up more bunting and renovating the kitchen, and so they'd left early that morning to see what they could find. While Pastor Al stuck close to the Deitree, admiring its gentle power, a certain cowardly, copper-haired farmer was lost in thought.
All of the costumes had been designed and made by Perry himself, and he was excited to see everyone all dressed up like the old days... even though he couldn't remember anyone dressing up, nor could he remember the "old days." Nevertheless, while he was greatly anticipating seeing his own hard work pay off (why stop at pumpkin masks? Maybe they could make some sort of pumpkin clothes! The sky was the limit with building), he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Malroth didn't want to wear a costume.
For someone who was ready for anything, battle or building, Malroth sure could be a party pooper.
Perry had been trying to think of ways to convince the tougher male to take part in the festival, but he couldn't come up with anything good. Most of the scenarios he imagined ended up with Malroth punting him into the distance, that is if the spiky-haired male didn't twist him into a pretzel first. Perry shuddered at the thought.
There had to be a way to get Malroth to wear a costume. They were just pumpkins, after all; it wasn't like they all had to don three-piece suits and frilly dresses.
Perry ran a hand over his face tiredly. This was certainly a dilemma. How did the Builder get Malroth to follow her around? How did she get him to do anything? Maybe if he asked her, she'd have some kind of advice; after all, if anyone would know how to appeal to Malroth, it'd be her.
Before he could set his plan in action, there was a light tap on his shoulder. Perry jumped and turned to see Rosie, amusement dancing in her eyes.
"Did you finish watering the tomato plants early?"
"Oh," he nodded dumbly. "Yes'm, I did. Actually, if you 'ave a moment, I need your opinion on somethin'."
"What is it?"
"Malroth said 'e didn't wanna wear a costume for the 'arvest festival, but I've bin thinkin'..."
She tilted her head to the side. "He doesn't want to wear a costume?"
"No, even said so 'imself."
"Hmm..." Rosie tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose if he doesn't want to, that's okay."
"What?!" Perry became indignant. "But we all worked so 'ard! It's tradition, Rosie—everyone gets all fancied up and we dance the night away!"
"Well, yes, but we shouldn't force anyone to do what they don't want to do."
Perry faltered. She did have a point...
"...But you're right," she continued, "everyone worked hard to get to this point, so we should all let loose and have fun, Malroth included."
"'Ow do you propose we get 'im to comply?"
"I..." Rosie hummed. "That's a good question. You already asked him, so that's out... Have you asked the Builder what she thinks?"
"She took off this mornin', I 'aven't seen either of 'em. I don't think they're gonna be back 'til later, and by then, everyone'll already be in costume."
She hummed again. "This is quite a pickle, then..."
For a few minutes, they stood in silence, both trying and failing to come up with ideas to get Malroth to join into the pumpkin-themed festivities. Then, Perry straightened.
"I've got it!" A mischievous gleam danced in his eyes. "What if I shoved a pumpkin on 'is 'ead?"
Rosie gasped. "You wouldn't."
"It's the 'arvest festival, 'course I would."
"What if it hurt him?"
"Are you kiddin'?" Perry puffed out his chest in a way that was supposed to make him look brave, but instead made him look goofy. "I'm the best pumpkin carver this farm's ever seen! I can carve somethin' big enough for Malroth's 'ead, it won't 'urt 'im at all. An' besides, I don't think anythin' could 'urt Malroth, 'e's tough as nails."
"He's gonna be mad if you do that to him," Rosie chuckled incredulously, shaking her head. "You'd better hope this goes well, otherwise you'll have a pumpkin shoved onto your head."
"That's the point!" The cowardly farmer grinned. "Everyone's gonna 'ave a pumpkin 'ead. I already got mine picked out an' carved."
"You're not scared of his reaction?"
At that, Perry's bravado faded somewhat. "Don't get me wrong, I'm blimmin' terrified 'e'll throttle me, but we've all worked 'ard for this festival, so everyone should wear a costume—including Malroth 'imself."
"So, how do you plan on carrying all of this out?"
"I dunno yet," he admitted. "But I guess it's a good thing lunch is 'ere. I got some thinkin' to do!"
Just as both farmers had predicted, everyone was putting on their costumes by the time Malroth and the Builder returned. It was practically nighttime and the jack o'lanterns made the farm look downright spooky—if not acting as a testament to all their hard work and efforts.
It was when everyone was almost finished putting on their pumpkins, the Builder included, that Perry decided to put his plan into action. He'd spent a good portion of his breakfast thinking of how he'd execute Operation Pumpkin-Malroth, and after careful consideration, he knew what he needed to do. He grabbed the pumpkin that was specially carved to fit Malroth's head, and he looked towards the young tree the Builder had planted a little while ago.
"Alright, I'm gonna do it!" Perry announced loudly, drawing the attention of everyone around him. Even Pastor Al, who had been meditating on the Deitree, turned to cast a curious glance at the wimpy man.
With a great battle cry (okay, so maybe it wasn't a battle cry; more of a yelp), Perry lifted one of the pre-carved pumpkins and took off towards a certain young man who was napping underneath a tree. Malroth had barely cracked open his eyes at the sound of the comical battle cry when Perry lifted the pumpkin high, then brought it down onto the mightier male's head with force.
Malroth cried out in a mix of surprise and outrage. "What the fuck?!"
The ones who had been watching the scene either burst into laughter or looked on in shock as he sprang to his feet, stumbling and tripping over himself in a desperate attempt to get the huge vegetable off his head. It was a little crooked and Perry managed to get close and readjust it, just barely jumping out of the way when Malroth swatted at him.
"PERRYYYY!" he roared.
All he could hear through the pumpkin was cheerful, albeit nervous laughter. "It's for a good cause, Mister Malroth! 'Appy 'Arvest Festival!"
"I'LL GIVE YOU A HAPPY HARVEST FESTIVAL, YOU—"
"Cue the music, lads!" Bonanzo shouted, and suddenly, a wonderful melody flooded through the farm. It was loud enough to cover the furious expletives escaping the pumpkin-headed Malroth. The Builder, who had been securing her own costume in the farmers' quarters, emerged and immediately rushed over to her flailing best friend.
"Hey, what happened? I thought you weren't going to get dressed up."
"I wasn't," he groaned, clawing at the squash. "Perry shoved this stupid pumpkin onto my head!"
The Builder looked him over, and she tried to hide the smile that threatened to lift her lips. "It doesn't look bad on you, Mal. You look rather festive!"
"Yeah, yeah, yuck it up, why don't you?" he growled. "Can you please help me get this thing off?"
She looked around at the others. Everyone in the farm wore a pumpkin save for Pastor Al and the Furrowfield retriever.
"It's just a pumpkin." The Builder gently took his hands into hers to keep him from destroying the vegetable. At her touch, he slowly began to calm down. "Tonight's the only night we're going to be wearing these things."
"What if it never comes off my head?"
"We'll get it off, don't worry," she assured. "Come on, let's go celebrate with the others. We've been working ourselves to the bone to make Rosie's dreams come true—let's enjoy the festival, costumes and all!"
With that, the blonde tugged him towards the Deitree where everyone was dancing to the lilting melody courtesy of a few fine farmers who doubled as musicians. Malroth soon found himself joining them, doing the silly little dance and even miming tilling the earth just as they did. It still felt weird to have his head in a pumpkin, but at least he wasn't the only one in costume.
As the festival kicked off without a hitch, everyone enjoyed themselves. Even Pastor Al, who had never taken part in anything quite like the Furrowfield Harvest Festival, seemed to be having a lovely time despite not being able to find his own pumpkin mask. The festivities went on well into the night, and just when it seemed like dawn was ready to break, everyone was ready for a well-deserved rest.
...Especially Malroth.
"Hold still, please," the Builder implored, trying to pull the pumpkin off as best she could. Somehow, it'd gotten stuck and truly wouldn't come off. Whatever Perry had done to get this thing on Malroth's head, he'd done a pretty good job making sure it stayed put.
"What if I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life?" Her best friend moaned. "How can I maim monsters like this?"
"You're not gonna be stuck like this for the rest of your life, it's a vegetable," she replied calmly. "And if you stop flailing, I might be able to get it loose, so please hold still."
Malroth did as she instructed and still, the pumpkin remained. She sighed.
"Alright, I might have an idea how to get it off."
"Lay it on me, 'cause I can't think of anything else."
"I could use my mallet—"
"NO."
"But—"
"Builder, we need to get the pumpkin off, not give me a concussion."
"It would just be to crack it open and—"
"Hit me with that mallet and you'll crack open more than just this stupid vegetable!"
"Well, I don't know what else to do!" she huffed in frustration. Okay, so maybe using her hammer wasn't the best idea, but they'd already tried everything else! They'd even stuck Malroth's head under the water of the sugar cane fields to get it to slide off, and still, no progress. They couldn't take a stone sword to the thing because they risked hurting Malroth.
After more futile attempts to move the pumpkin, the tough male sighed in defeat.
"Get your mallet," he ordered. "And please, get this stupid fucking thing off of me."
The Builder was about to oblige when she realized they'd been going about this the wrong way. Maybe all those comments about me looking dopey weren't far off the mark.
"Oh my goddess, I'm a class-A idiot," she murmured. Malroth barely had time to question her when her hand snaked through the eye-holes of the pumpkin. Her fingers curled around the sides and she pulled forward, trying to yank at the openings and possibly take out chunks of the squash. Malroth, who hadn't been expecting her to do that, yelped and lost his balance, tumbling backward. In the process of trying to steady himself, he grasped at the Builder, catching her by surprise and accidentally pulling her down with him.
He landed on his back with a thump, the air leaving his lungs with a whoosh, and when Malroth's pumpkin-covered head connected with the group, the pumpkin cracked in half at the back, saving his head and creating a way for them to finally rid him of the vegetable.
The Builder landed right on top of him, knocking out what little breath he'd returned to his lungs. They both groaned at the impact and the Builder groaned softly.
"Sorry, Mal, I did not think that through."
"'S fine," he wheezed, still fighting to catch his breath. To his surprise, a sliver of cool air sifted through the top of the pumpkin and he cried out in joy. "Wait a second! Builder, check the back of my head!"
After managing to sit up, she did so, letting out a cheer once she saw the pumpkin's sizable wound. "Mal, we did it! We'll have you out of this thing in no time!"
True to her word, she got to work and soon, Malroth was free, pieces of his former orange prison scattered around them. The Builder had clawed and pulled every piece she could grasp. Malroth would need a bath to get the pumpkin-smell out of his hair, but he was finally free.
"Thank you, Builder, you really are the best!" He hugged her tightly, causing a light blush to spread across her face. "I owe you one."
"Don't mention it." She patted his back. "You heading to the bathhouse now?"
"Nah. At this point, that's second on my to-do list."
The blonde cocked her head to the side curiously. "What's number one?"
Her best friend's eyes glowed darkly. "Finding Perry."
After a bountiful harvest and a beautiful banquet under the stars, Perry was stuffed with so much food that he could hardly move. Once he was pumpkin-free and ready to hit the hay, he stretched his arms and began to head for the farmers' quarters when Rosie stopped him.
"I have to give you credit, you followed through with it," she giggled, and he couldn't help but grin back.
"Told ya I would! Did you see 'ow riled up 'e got?" Perry laughed, wiping at his eyes. "Ooh arr, I 'aven't laughed like that in a while."
"So, you think it's funny to shove pumpkins onto people's heads?"
The dangerously low voice that joined them caused Perry to tense, slowly turning around to see Malroth grinning evilly. His red eyes were glowing with mischief and vengeance, and the copper-haired farmer could only gulp in fear. Suddenly all those dinner rolls and plates of grilled greens didn't seem like such a good idea after all.
"M-mister Malroth, sir, I can explain—"
"Sure you can. I'll give you a five second head start."
"Eep!" And with that, Perry took off, Malroth chasing after him with a pumpkin of his own.