Hey all! Thanks a lot for your lovely response to the last chapter and patience for this one. This was a difficult chapter to write and so it took me so long. I also ended up writing more than 8,000 words and so i had to split the chapter in two. But the good news is, the next chapter is also ready and I will upload it shortly.

Before going in to the chapter, there are few things I want to rant about. I think the revelation of the affair and abortion weren't the part of original story line. They were used later as damage control to assassin Addison's character, kill addek fan base and justify Derek's wrongdoings.

And i find the timelines of first three seasons very confusing. I believe Addison and Derek were apart just for two months and then season two span over a year, so they were together in Seattle for a year. If Addison's due date was in middle of season 3, it would mean Derek and Addison were together just for a few months. But then references of Thanksgiving, Christmas, Addison being passive aggressive for a month, Bailey announcing her pregnancy and then delivering a baby after full term etc. indicate our love birds were together for more than a few months. Anyway in my Addek world, they were separated for two months and the prom happened almost a year after Addie's arrival.

Anyway here is the next chapter. Happy reading.

Derek rolled over under the duvet and stretched his arm to snuggle with Addison but his arm fell on an empty space. He unwillingly opened his eyes and quickly scanned the room. He was alone in it.

"Addie?"

"I am out here." She answered from the balcony. "Good morning." She peeped through the door and flashed her radiant smile.

"Come here." He pouted, patting the empty space beside him. "Why are you up so early?" He rolled on his stomach and hugged a fluffy pillow.

"Someone seems sleepy today." Addison commented sitting on the edge of the bed. "It's almost 10 o'clock. You overslept." She said, ruffling his dark hair.

"It's your fault, you kept me up till midnight." Derek rolled on his back and scooted closer to Addison.

"Ohh..Did I wear you out?" She asked, running a hand down his bicep.

"You certainly did my lady." He tugged at her elbow and pulled her close to his chest. Addison relaxed in his arms and started drawing circles on his chest.

After a few moments of silence, she looked up to check if Derek had fallen asleep again. But he was wide awake, looking down at her with a big smile on his handsome face.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" She asked, feeling conscious by his stare.

"Nothing." He shook his head and kept smiling. "I am just happy." He brushed her hair away from her face and started lazily tracing her cheekbone with his thumb. "I love you." He said simply, just like he used to, as if the last two years never happened.

"I love hearing you say that." Addison admitted, planting a kiss on Derek's chest. She smiled, feeling Derek's arms tightening around her. It felt like any other lazy Sunday morning they had shared over the last fifteen years. Even in their last year in NewYork when Derek got busier day by day, they often spent Sunday mornings lying in bed, snuggling, reading, chatting and making love. Somehow they could never have such comfortable mornings in the trailer.

"This is so nice. I don't want to go back to the trailer." Addison mused.

"We don't have to go until tomorrow evening." Derek reminded her, stroking her hair.

"So what do you want to do today? Do you wanna hit the restaurant for the complimentary breakfast?"

"Nah. I want to stay in bed the whole day and make a baby with you." He declared.

Her head was buried in his chest, but still she could feel his wide smile through his tone. He was serious about starting a family. She had managed to avoid the topic the day before but she couldn't see any way out of it now. She wanted to tell him the whole truth, but she also wanted to enjoy a few more moments of their newly found marital bliss.

Derek could feel Addison's body tensing when he mentioned a baby. He was surprised by her reaction. He knew Addison was ready two years ago, so he assumed she would be thrilled to know he was ready too. But it looked like she was reluctant now.

Derek sat up in the bed, making Addison pull away.

"Addie, are you not ready?" He asked cautiously.

Addison closed her eyes. She knew there was no escape now. She needed to come clean. She looked at Derek. He was waiting for her answer.

He cupped her cheek and gave her an assuring smile. "Let's talk about it. Whatever you feel, please tell me."

Addison nodded mutely.

"Babe, you still look as beautiful as you did in your twenties but we can't ignore the fact that we are approaching forty. You know the risks. I know our current situation isn't ideal but I don't want to wait for a year or two and then regret not taking a chance when we had time."

"There is something I need to tell you." Addison finally gathered the courage to speak.

"What? Is there something wrong? Medically? Did you find anything in your annual checkup?"

"No. No. There is nothing wrong medically. I mean nothing that I know of. I didn't get my annual checkup this year. So there could be something wrong which I don't know yet. We both know the egg count drops rapidly after thirty five. I could be-"

"Addie, you are rambling."

"I know. You caught me by surprise. I don't know how to tell you-"

"I am sensing, we are stepping into a long and serious conversation. I should be fully awake for this. Let's pause. Let me first get out of the bed and freshen up. Till then can you please make me some coffee and order us breakfast?" Derek gave her a friendly pat on her thigh and went to the bathroom.

Addison was relieved that Derek didn't press the issue. She also appreciated his efforts to keep the mood light. His behavior since yesterday gave her confidence that, even after learning the whole truth, he wouldn't leave her. He would be mad for days or maybe weeks but he would try to forgive her.

"Addie.. " Derek stepped out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his hand. "I was thinking, we should call the hospital and check if Richard made it through the prom."

Addison smiled awkwardly. "I will call him."

She picked up the phone and dialed room service to order for breakfast. After that she requested the reception to connect her with Seattle Grace Hospital. She spoke to the nurse in charge of NICU. All her babies were doing okay. There was nothing to worry about in neonatal or gynecology. But she couldn't say the same about cardiac. Debbie shared whatever she knew about the prom and the suspicious circumstances around Denny Duquette's death. Addison sensed the severity of the issue and immediately called Richard. He briefed her about the hospital business and then announced that his marriage was over. He sounded defeated. Addison offered to return to the hospital and help him out but he insisted that Addison and Derek should stay there and resolve their issues.

By the time Derek came out of shower, their breakfast also arrived. They sat on the balcony with steaming cups of coffee and a table full of continental breakfast. Addison informed him the developments at the hospital. They briefly discussed the new generation of interns and how they had no respect for rules and authorities. But then the conversation started getting close to the home and so they dropped that topic. They ate the rest of the breakfast in silence. Derek was waiting for Addison to talk but he didn't push. Addison was again touched by how considerate he was.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" He asked when they finished eating.

"Let's stay in the room." She went inside and sat on the bed.

He followed her and sat down on the love seat across the bed.

Addison took a deep breath. This was it. She looked at Derek's face, his kind eyes. Tears started welling up in her eyes knowing she was about to break his heart again.

"Addie. What's wrong? You are scaring me now." He got up to be closer to her, but she gestured not to.

She took a deep breath for the second time. She closed her eyes.

"You don't know the whole story of what happened in New York. After you left, I stayed with Mark. We were in a relationship for two months. I didn't want to believe that I had burnt down our marriage for nothing. So I convinced myself that I loved him. He claimed that he loved me too. But then I found him with someone else. That same day, I got a call from Richard and then I came here."

Addison paused, so Derek could digest the first blow. She opened her eyes but couldn't dare to look at him. From her peripheral vision she saw him staring at her with a blank expression.

"There is more. A week before I flew to Seattle, I peed on a stick and I got two lines. It was Mark's. He found out the test in the trash. He was excited. He wanted the baby. I didn't. I aborted it, without telling him. I left him a note and came to Seattle because I was still in love with you." Addison held her head down. She hated herself for being so weak and making worse decisions one after another.

Derek hadn't moved or reacted in any way. He was still staring at her with the same blank expression. The softness in his eyes was far gone.

"I was afraid to tell you the truth. I didn't want to lose you. But I know we can't rebuild our marriage based on a lie. So I am telling you the whole story now."

She slowly looked up. Derek was frozen at his spot. He needed time to process. So she waited pretending to be calm and patient while her heart was pounding inside. She was sweating in the air conditioned room. Her throat went dry. She glanced at him again. His expression didn't give anything on what he was thinking. She imagined all scenarios ranging from an assuring hug, saying they both made mistakes and let's move on to Derek smashing the entire room in rage.

"Please say something." She pleaded softly. Derek looked surprised to hear her voice.

"No." He shook his head. "NO." He repeated forcefully. "Tell me this is a cruel joke. Tell me this is not true." He said through gritted teeth.

"I am sorry." She apologized but knew how hollow those words sounded.

"What exactly are you apologizing for? Loving Mark, having an affair, getting pregnant with him, abortion, coming here and lieing to my face for the entire year, manipulating me to fall in love again? Please tell me what exactly you are sorry for?" His calm voice and cold eyes gave her chill.

"I am sorry for everything.."

"Okay. Let me piece together the entire picture. So Mark wasn't A mistake. You seduced him the night I walked on you. You claimed that it was the first time, but after that you chose to continue screwing him, you fell in love with the guy who you had named a 'man-whore', you got pregnant with his baby, but then you were surprised that the man-whore cheated on you and so you got rid of his baby and decided to go back to your old, boring husband. You lied again and again. Pretended to be sorry, pretended to love me, manipulated me… while all of it, the last whole year was a one big lie."

"Everything wasn't a lie Derek. I am in love with you. I always have been. Mark was a mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake. It was a series of conscious decisions you made over several months. You are unbelievable. This entire time, you were lying…"

"You wouldn't have stayed, if you knew the whole story. I was waiting for the right time-"

"Finally there is some truth. You were waiting for me to be vulnerable again so you could deliver your last blow. You are a cold blooded bitch Addison."

Addison had no excuse nor any explanation. She wouldn't have used such harsh words for her own actions, but what Derek was saying was in essence true. No matter how much she sugar coated it, her actions spoke for themselves.

Her eyes were glued to the ground. She saw Derek's feet moving. He went to the counter near the door, looked for something in the drawer and then walked back towards the bed. Addison looked up, ready to hug him and apologize once he came closer, but he walked past her to the other side of the bed and picked up his mobile from the night stand. Addison followed his movements, trying to figure out what he was doing. He was calmly roaming around the room. He stopped near the pantry and poured himself a glass of water. He carried the glass with him to the chair near the door and sat down to drink it. He then stretched his arm to pick his shoes from the corner. Addison jumped from the bed when she saw him putting on his shoes. She pieced it all together. Derek was looking for his car keys and wallet in the drawer. He was leaving.

"Derek what are you doing?" She asked, dropping on her knees in front of him.

"I can't." He told her, fastening his shoe laces.

Addison touched his hand to stop him. "Derek please. Let's talk."

"No. There is nothing to talk now. You should have talked a year back. Now, I can't. I can't talk to you, I can't look at you and I definitely can't be in this room with you. I am leaving."

Addison shook her head. "No. No." She squeezed his hands and gave him a stern glare. "That is not an option. You can ignore me, yell at me, punch the wall, punch me if you want. You can do anything, but you can't leave. A lot of this mess happened because you left me. You are not going to do that again. We are going to sit here and we are going to deal with this. Leaving is not an option."

"I was never going to bring this up again, but you are forcing me to. A lot of this mess happened because you slept with Mark. You forced me to leave.. back then and even now." He pushed her hands away and got up to leave.

Addison stood up to his height and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Derek I know you are mad and your anger is justified. But you can not walk out on me again. If you leave now, that will be the end of us. I am not going to chase you anymore."

Derek smirked and turned towards the door.

"Derek I am serious. If you step out, our marriage will be over."

He looked back fiercely and slowly turned the door knob, challenging her to try stopping him.

She turned back from the door and walked to the middle of the room. If Derek was playing games, she didn't want to be a part of it. If he was really leaving her, she didn't want to watch him go. The loud slam of the door startled her. She slowly turned, hoping to find Derek inside the room, but the room was empty. He was gone. Addison felt her knees weakening. She looked around for some support but she couldn't find any through her blurry vision. She collapsed on the ground. The soft carpet cushioned the physical blow but her heart was exploding inside.

She pulled her knees close to her chest and curled her body like a fetus. It was a deja vu. She remembered sobbing on another carpet, more than a year ago. She also remembered the terrible decisions she made afterwards. She could have been in Derek's arms right now, making a baby, if she hadn't been so weak and desperate for love when Derek left.

She pulled herself up from the floor and wiped her tears. She couldn't afford to repeat her mistakes. Wallowing over the end of the last one third of her life wasn't going to change anything. That was a slippery path and likely to end up in an AA meeting. She decided to make some better choices this time. She went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. It felt nice. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror and told herself that she was going to be fine. She just needed a plan.

She immediately came up with a name for her plan 'Addison 2.0'. The first step of the plan was to keep herself occupied. So she decided to clean the room. She started making the bed, it was hard to look at the bed and not think about their last night's passion. She schooled her mind to focus on the task at hand and not to get carried away in reminiscing. She consoled herself, that she and Derek were destined to have limited years together, maybe they overused their quota, this entire year in Seattle and the few intimate moments they shared was a bonus, the previous day spent in the resort, in total marital bliss was meant to give them a closer and now it was time to move on.

Derek had left but some of his things were still lying around. His mobile charger was on the nightstand. He had thrown his shirt on the bed, his laptop was on the coffee table, some more clothes were in the closet. She pulled out his laptop and duffle bags from the closet and neatly packed all of his stuff. She contemplated if she should bring his bags with her and give them to him at the hospital. She concluded that she wasn't responsible for his belongings and decided to deposit his bags at the reception.

She then turned to pack her own stuff. She wasn't planning to leave a minute before her planned departure but she needed to keep herself occupied. While her hands were busy arranging her skincare creams in the toiletries bag, her mind started formulating the next steps of 'Addison 2.0' plan.

She decided to directly check in a hotel on reaching Seattle and pick-up her stuff while Derek was in the hospital, assuming he wasn't already on his way to Mexico or Canada. She thought of making good use of her three weeks pre-approved leave and travel solo. She didn't want to breach her contract but Naomi's job offer was appealing. Naomi had been her moral police in med-school and she needed her supervision to make sane decisions in her 2.0 version. Derek disliked California, but she didn't mind some tan, sunglasses and socializing with people in fancy clothes.

She looked around the room, there was nothing left to clean or pack. She thought she could use a soothing bath. It was too early in the day, but she decided that the clock doesn't apply when on vacation. She poured a glass of champagne for herself and stepped in the bathroom for a relaxing bath.

While Addison was running on charged up energy, Derek found himself completely numb. He sat frozen in his car, unable to convene any energy to start the engine.

He was trying to wrap his head around what Addison had revealed. Mark wasn't a one night stand. She was in a relationship with him.

They probably said 'I love yous' to each other. Not in a platonic way he had witnessed. Addison said 'love you Mark' on countless occasions, she said it sarcastically, fondly, teasingly, worryingly, but never romantically. He never gave a second thought to Addison saying 'love you' to Mark. She said that to almost everyone in his family. He once appreciated that his wife and his best friends were each others' best friends. But now, as he imagined her confessing her love to Mark, in her slurry voice, her lips teasing Mark's, he felt nauseous.

He imagined them going out for romantic dinners and dances. Mark taking her back home, helping her out of her designer clothes, carrying her to bed, having breakfast in bed on Sunday mornings, Addison telling Mark how brilliant he was in OR, Addison smiling down at Mark from the gallery, looking at him as if he was the perfect man in the world, Mark leaving food in her locker with a note reminding her to eat, Mark and Addison sitting at opposite ends of the couch and giving each other foot massages after a long day, Mark and Addison snuggling together watching a movie, Mark cooking for Addison while she sat on the counter, stealing carrots or cheese cubes.

He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head to clear those images. It was all blurred and mixed.

He couldn't separate out what he was imaging and what he was recollecting from his memory. He himself had sent Mark on dinners with Addison. He clearly remembered waving goodbye as Addison and Mark walked out of the doctor's lounge while he decided to stay back for an early morning surgery. Addison wore a tight red dress, Mark made no attempt in hiding his admiration for how well it accentuated her curves. He watched Addison playfully swatting Mark on his chest and then looping her hand through his. He laughed at them and wished them to have a good evening. The next morning when he returned home after the surgery, Mark was making pancakes in their kitchen, in his pajamas. It was clear he had spent the night in Brownstone. Sleepovers at each others' place was common for them. Mark had claimed a guest room on the ground floor as his. Even Derek had started calling it 'Mark's room'. Addison always corrected them and insisted that it was a guest room but there was a drawer with Mark's spare clothes, toothbrush and shaving kit in that room.

Derek didn't find anything odd in Mark staying over. He wondered if it was a mistake to allow Mark to get in so deep in his marriage? Did Mark and Addison's relationship always have a romantic angle which he failed to see? To an outsider, the ultimate affair would look obvious. Mark was a womanizer, Addison was attractive and enjoyed men's attention.

Derek shook his head to get rid of those terrible thoughts. He refused to believe Mark and Addison's relationship was anything but platonic, until recently. In spite of all the doubts raised on their entire history, deep down he knew that she loved him. She was weak and clearly had questionable moral standards but he had no doubt that she loved him and was loyal to him for most part of their marriage. The question was could he love her again knowing what she had done. Could he trust her again not to fall for any temptations? He signed, not knowing what he should do.

A knock on his car's window startled him. It was Page, standing beside his car with a toothy smile. She knocked again. His puzzled expression or slow response did not deter her. Derek rolled down the window, mustering a smile.

"Good Afternoon Mr. Shepherd. Where is your wife?" Page asked peeping through the window. Her fascination with Addison and her red hair was evident.

"She is in the room." He answered, grabbing a wet wipe from the gloves box. He quickly wiped his face clean and stepped out of the car to greet the Turners gathered around the adjacent car.

"Are you guys leaving?" He asked, seeing a pile of luggage around the car.

Nick waved at him and nodded in affirmation. He was clearly struggling to fit the luggage in the trunk. The kids and their mother diligently provided some unsolicited and ineffective advice, that led to some bickering among the adult Turners and some name calling and hair pulling among the children. After the luggage was secured in the truck, the young Turners had a heated debate on who would occupy which seat. It was chaotic but Derek appreciated the distraction. Derek leaned against his own car and watched the Tuckers getting into their car. They exchanged goodbyes and then the Tuckers drove away.

Derek smiled, little Page reminded him of his favorite niece, Annie, Nancy's youngest daughter. He wanted a daughter like Annie and Page, smart, fierce and a chatterbox. A mini Addison. He froze at that thought. For a moment, he forgot what had just transpired between him and Addison. Tears started welling up again in his eyes. He lowered himself down to the ground and sat in defeat, leaning against his car. He didn't care that he was in an open parking lot and passerbys if any could see him. All he could think about was the family he could have had with Addison if things hadn't turned the way they did. He pictured a little girl with red hair and green eyes chattering at the dinner table, a curly black haired boy running around the house, four socks hung by the fireplace, their family of four posing in front of a Christmas tree in ridiculous holiday sweaters gifted by his mom. As he continued fantasizing, it hit him that despite everything, he still wanted that family and he wanted that family with Addison.

Stay tuned. Next Chapter is coming very soon.