Chapter Seventeen: With Answers Come Questions (Part Two)

It was early in the evening, and Kyle was sitting on the balcony of Misato's apartment, watching the sun set over the twinkling city of Tokyo-3. For the last two hours, he had been laying back on one of Misato's lawn chairs, holding a frigid bag of ice and water up to his head to keep a throbbing headache at bay. The bag had lost its cool a long time ago, and now it simply dripped freely until it had soaked the right sleeve of Kyle's Guns N' Roses t-shirt down to the pit. He had been lost in thought and hadn't noticed.

Resting beside him on a small glass table was the scrapbook Hina had given him that morning. At his fingertips was access to the life and memories of someone Kyle would never meet, yet who he owed his very existence to. The memory of her touch and compassion that Hina claimed she felt for him eluded Kyle like a thief in the night – he felt robbed.

That feeling of emptiness had settled over him since the minute they came back home. The sunglasses he wore now disguised the fact that his eyes were still red and bleary from tears he had shed once Shinji was no longer with him. Perhaps the other boy had heard them; if he did, he hadn't said anything.

This is B.S., Kyle thought, why should I feel sad about a person I never knew? Why I should feel like I missed out when she didn't even care enough to tell me before she died? Or did she, and was I simply too young to remember?

The other day, I told the guys that I was nice to Rei because she was an orphan, like me. But I never really believed it. Not until now. If it weren't for Lisa…my Aunt and Uncle…I'd be no different from Rei.

Only that wasn't true. There was someone else. And the thought of that person looking Kyle in the face several times and hiding the truth from him transformed his tears into anger.

Earlier that Day

"Your mother had you later in her life," Hina explained, "Rare in Japan, though not unheard of. When she was younger, she had a daughter by a man whose name I never learned. Her daughter's name was Ritsuko, and she followed in her mother's footsteps."

"So, this Ritsuko," Kyle asked, "She's my half-sister?"

Hina nodded, "Yes. I have the feeling that you've already met."

"Yeah," Kyle admitted, "But she didn't say anything to me about this."

Hina frowned, "That's a shame. She was twelve years old when you were born," Hina pointed out a nearby window, since they had moved downstairs from the attic, "She played with you out there, in the yard, when you were a baby."

"I don't understand," Kyle snapped, "Why would she keep this a secret from me?"

Hina sighed, "Your mother and Ritsuko did not have the best of relationships. Its always been difficult for her to talk about her feelings openly, and she doesn't make friends easily. But ever since she finished her doctorate and started working for the government, she's become even more aloof. She rarely calls me and almost never visits. She speaks of the importance of her work, but she has nothing to show for it. She smokes like a chimney, dyes her hair blonde and has never had a boyfriend, even a casual one. Well, that I know of. I worry about her."

Kyle scratched his head, unsure of what to say. He didn't want to be rude to his new grandmother, but he didn't feel much sympathy for Ritsuko.

"Okay," Kyle said, "What do you want me to do about her then?"

"You should confront her," Hina said, "I'm getting old. I want to see your mother's house restored before I die. Your mother meant to leave it for the two of you but Ritsuko has let it crumble. She needs to be reminded that she still has family, no matter how much she wants to forget the past."

Kyle furrowed his brows, "I don't understand this. If my mother cared so much about me, then why did she ship me off to America? Why wouldn't my dad ever tell me about her? This doesn't make sense."

"You have to understand. You were born the very year that Second Impact happened. In the years that followed, there was a lot of chaos, especially in Japan. Because of their work, your parents flew between Japan and the United States quite frequently. Because your other relatives lived in a fairly remote area, or so I was told, you were kept there the majority of the time for your own protection. As for your father, well…"

Kyle leaned in, "Go on."

"I don't want to talk too much about it. But your father and mother were together for about three years after you were born. They were never married, and they had a falling out. Eventually, your father quit his job with the government agency they worked for and moved back to the United States to raise you full time. I never saw him again after that, and I'm sorry to say, but your mother died in a work-related accident approximately two years later."

"Work-related accident?" Kyle asked skeptically, "What does that mean?"

"I…"

"Tell me what happened!" Kyle's voice begin to rise, "I have to know the truth!"

"Kyle!" Shinji interjected, "Please calm down."

"No! I won't calm down," Kyle rose up from his chair and began pacing around the room, "All of this was hidden from me! Why? Nothing ever makes any damn sense in my life and I'm sick and tired of it!"

"I…I'm sorry Kyle," his grandmother said, "I don't really know exactly how she died. And I never really wanted to find out."

Kyle held his breath in for a few seconds then gasped in exasperation. "I'm…I'm really sorry," he said ashamedly, "I need…I need to get out of here."

The Present

Thanks to Shinji, the scrapbook had been saved. The entire walk and train ride back was spent in silence. Shinji didn't have the courage to broach any topic and Kyle was still stewing from the avalanche of revelations. Now he was on the mezzanine, finally certain that he had overcome his emotions.

I'll make it up to you grandma…Kyle thought, I'll find a way to come back there and restore my mother's house…with or without that woman's help.

Kyle heard the sound of the doors sliding open behind him. He looked across his shoulder and watched Shinji approach with a tray bearing two cups.

"I made tea," Shinji said awkwardly.

Kyle frowned but took his cup anyway. "Thanks," he said. He didn't have the heart to tell the other boy that he didn't really care for tea. Shinji had gone through so much the past month as well.

He saw a picture of his mom for the first time in years, Kyle thought, I can't understand why his dad would do something stupid like throw them all away.

"Misato's still not back," Shinji said.

"Yeah, looks like we never really needed those two to cover for us after all."

"True, but I think it was probably a good idea to have a back-up."

Kyle nodded. When they had come back from their adventure, they found a large crowd of people angrily idling outside Misato's apartment. Loose talk confirmed that Touji and Kensuke had chosen the nuclear option and activated the fire alarm system, or at least, that was how it appeared to Kyle upon arrival.

"Where's Misato?" Kyle had asked Touji.

"Uh, yeah," the tall boy had rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "She didn't actually show up."

"Then why did you set off the alarm"

"We didn't…I…"

"Touji got hungry and tried to make some food and ended up burning it," Kensuke had explained, "He set off the fire alarm all by himself. Here," Kensuke handed Kyle his half-sister's lighter, "You can have this back."

Kyle had sighed, "Good job, I guess."

"We're even then, Ikari?" Touji had asked, "No more favors?"

"Yeah," Shinji had said, "We're even. I don't think I would risk asking for anything else now."

Kyle sipped his tea. It was warm and bitter.

"So, what happens now?" Shinji asked.

"I don't know," Kyle replied honestly, "I spent so many years wondering who my mother was, and now that I know, all I've got is more questions."

"So, it's not over then?"

"How can it? I still don't even know why I've been getting these visions in the first place. And besides you and Rei, I haven't told anybody else and I don't plan on telling anybody else."

"That doesn't really leave you with a lot of options," Shinji pointed out, "I don't know…"

"What? Why do you care so much?"

"I don't, but shouldn't we be worrying about fighting the Angels instead?"

Kyle looked away for a moment and let the wind catch his hair before he answered, "No."

"No?"

"People our age shouldn't have to worry about fighting giant monsters in the first place. We should be worrying about homework or girls or whatever. If I'm putting my life on the line, then I have the right to take back my past. I just don't know how I'm going to do it…or where to begin."

Shinji didn't have anything to say that. Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the door to Misato's apartment opening, and Misato herself walking inside. She was holding a big, brown bag full of groceries.

"Hey, guys! I'm home! Looks like you're feeling better, Kyle."

"Yeah," Kyle replied gloomily, "A little."

Shinji started helping put the groceries away and making dinner. Kyle went back to his room to lay down for a bit while he waited for Shinji to finish. They all ate together at the table, and when they were done eating, Kyle gathered up all the dishes and took them to the sink to wash up. On Saturday nights, Kyle's name was on the chore chart for washing the dishes.

Kyle started scrubbing the plates down and setting them on the rack to dry. He heard Shinji walk into his room and close the door. Misato was still sitting at the kitchen table sipping at a can of beer.

"Kyle," she said in a neutral tone, "Can I have your attention for a second?"

Kyle turned the faucet off and turned around to face the Captain, drying his hands as he did so. "Yeah?" he asked.

They stared each other down for a few seconds before the woman said flatly, "I know you and Shinji left the city today."

Kyle shrugged. He was neither surprised nor alarmed. He was too tired and upset to care. "Yeah, that's true," he replied.

"And because I know, the Commander knows, and he's asked to speak with you in his office tomorrow."

That put a tinge of fear in Kyle's stomach, but he managed to keep himself calm. "Okay," he replied.

"I have given you…" Misato continued slowly, her composure starting to crack, "Every opportunity to change your behavior. When you got into a fight at school, I warned you. When you yelled at that girl, I warned you. When you yelled at the Commander himself I sentenced you to community service when the Vice-Commander told me I should keep you locked up at Headquarters. And how did you repay me for my lenience? You snuck out of the city and took Shinji with you.

"So, I am done protecting you. Whatever the Commander has in store for you, I leave you to it. You obviously are too immature and too irresponsible to be trusted with any kind of freedom or authority, and I don't need you being a bad influence on Rei or Shinji."

"Wait…" Kyle asked, "You think I'm a bad influence on Rei and Shinji?"

"Yes, obviously."

Kyle stared down at his accuser with a straight face for about five seconds before he starting shaking his head and smirking.

"What's so funny?" Misato demanded.

"I don't know…have you ever seen where Rei lives?"

"No? What's your point?"

"She lives by herself…in some run-down apartment on the other side of town. The paint was peeling off the walls…the furniture was covered with bloody bandages from the last time you people put her in her Eva."

"I…"

"And what about Shinji? He gets guilted into getting into Unit-01…his own dad doesn't talk to him and when he gets beat up at school…you did nothing."

"I…"

"So yeah…I'm not perfect. I said some things today I wish I didn't. I fly off the handle sometimes and I hurt people and…I have to make that right somehow. But I'm not stupid. You can't trick me into feeling sorry for making your job harder."

Misato was thunderstruck. Her mouth was agape and her eyes wide. Within a few seconds she recovered and pursed her lips together. "The Commander's Office," she stated coolly, "1000 hours. I'll be busy so I would get up early if you want to get there in time."

Kyle nodded and turned back to finish washing his dishes. Looking into his reflection, he smirked again.

The Next Morning

Commander Ikari waited patiently for Ritsuko to finish examining his burned hands. Her nimble fingers traced the web of burn marks across his darkened hands and she said, "Healing well, but the scarring will be permanent to some extent."

"That's fine," Gendo replied simply, "So long as it doesn't interfere with my work."

"It won't," she assured him, taking her hands off his. The two of them were in his office, standing by the long, curved window that wrapped around half of the room's perimeter.

A sudden chirp emerged from the side of the Commander's desk. A female voice announced, "Your ten o'clock is here, Commander."

"Your ten o'clock?" Ritsuko asked as Gendo slipped his hands back into his gloves.

He nodded, "The fourth child."

"Oh," Ritsuko replied, crossing her arms as the Commander took a seat as his desk.

"He and the third left the city yesterday. Cameras lost them, but the train they took was to Ibaraki prefecture."

"How would he know to go there?" she asked.

"I don't know. I plan to find out. But we can probably assume he knows more about himself than we intended."

Ritsuko closed her eyes and shrugged, "He was bound to find out sooner or later. It won't affect my work."

"Are you sure?" Gendo crossed his fingers together in his usual pose.

"You really think that little of me?"

The Commander adjusted his glasses, "I don't think little of you at all."

Ritsuko smirked and shook her head, "Fine, then. Are you going to let him go?"

"No. We can't afford to let any capable pilots slip through our fingers. Besides, the problem is not with him, but with us. We assumed we could control him the same way we control the others. We failed to take into account that he was raised in a more liberal environment by a man who considered himself a free-thinker. We diagnosed the problem incorrectly. I do not make the same mistake twice."

"What will you do then?"

Gendo told her.

Kyle tapped his fingers on the vinyl of his seat to the rhythm of his favorite Iron Maiden song. The Commander was making him wait a while to see him, but eventually, the elevator to the man's office opened up and Dr. Akagi came out.

They shared a look between each other. Then, Ritsuko said, "The Commander is ready to see you now."

Kyle nodded and watched as she departed.

I hardly believe that we could be related, Kyle thought, she's too cold.

Kyle hopped inside the elevator and ascended to the top. When he exited, he came into the Commander's office and saw how high up they were. He felt a little uneasy – heights always made him a little sick. He didn't feel it inside Unit-03 because he knew he was deep inside the Eva, but when he was separated by only a sheer pane of glass, it was different.

The Commander was staring him down already. Kyle scratched the back of his head and said, "You wanted to see me, sir?"

Ikari gestured to the chair directly in front of his desk, "Take a seat."

Kyle did as he bid. A few moments of silence passed between them, making Kyle extremely nervous.

Finally, the Commander asked, "How are you adjusting to life in Japan?"

Kyle shrugged, "Well enough, I suppose. I mean, its easier when you know the language."

The Commander made no moves. He did not nod and barely blinked. He replied, "It has come to my attention that yesterday you went outside the city despite my directive to remain within its perimeter."

"That's correct, sir."

"Would you like to explain why?"

Kyle rubbed his right calf and bit his lip, then answered, "When my dad died, I went through some of his things. He kept a picture of a house with an address written on the back in Japanese. Years later, I learned Japanese and read it, and when I came here…"

"You took advantage of the situation and sought it out?"

Kyle nodded. It didn't seem like the Commander doubted his story, but there was no way to know for sure.

"I see…" Commander Ikari trailed off as if thinking about something else, then asked, "And did you find your…house?"

"Yes, sir."

"And what did it tell you?"

"The name of my mother. Who she was, where she lived."

Another silence passed. Then, the commander unfolded his hands and got up from his chair. He walked over to the window and looked out upon the subterranean lake that filled a large portion of the Geofront.

"When she was alive," the Commander said, "Your mother was a colleague of mine and a friend. She worked here for a short while, until she died in an unfortunate workplace accident."

"Workplace accident?"

Ikari turned to face Kyle again, "Yes. There are many levels beneath NERV. There was a collapse and unfortunately…she was buried beneath the rubble."

"Oh…" That sounds too simple, Kyle thought, yet I don't have any better theory.

"Her death was a tragic loss for NERV and for the scientific community here in Japan."

I'm sure it was, but why is he telling me all this now? He could have done so at any time.

"What about my father?" Kyle asked, leaning forward on the edge of his seat.

"What about him?"

"You were at his funeral. He worked here too, didn't he?"

The Commander nodded, "For a while. He resigned his position before your mother's death."

"I see."

And this is all coincidence? My mother and father both worked here, and I just happened to be the only person who could pilot Unit-03? Something doesn't add up here, but this might not be the best time to bring it up.

"Tell me, what is the purpose of NERV?"

"Uh…to defend humanity, sir?"

"To defeat the Angels. To that end, we cannot abide any unnecessary distractions. Now that you know what I know you really came to Japan for…you will give your undivided attention on that task. Am I understood?"

Kyle nodded, "Yes, sir."

"Good. Then we will proceed with your assignment."

Ikari returned to his seat, forcing Kyle to straighten up again.

"I have need to travel with an Evangelion escort. In three days, you will accompany me on my trip. Until then you will report to Dr. Akagi every day for exercises in underwater mobility and combat."

Kyle's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Travel? Travel where? And how will we even get Unit-03 there…"

"You will know the details when you need to. I suggest you get your affairs in order and concentrate on your training. We may be gone for three weeks or more."

Kyle gulped nervously and replied, "I…yes, sir."

"Good. You are dismissed."

Kyle felt the urge to get up and leave, but he forced himself to stay.

"Sir…"

"What is it now?" Commander Ikari replied curtly as he flipped through the pages of a manila folder on his desk.

"I haven't heard from my cousin in a while," Kyle explained, "I was just wondering if any help for her had been arranged."

The Commander stopped flipping for a moment and slowly turned his eyes upward to look at Kyle.

"I've sent a formal request through your nation's embassy. These things take time. You will be informed when you need to."