Chapter: Twenty-Three Glowing Golden Eyes

Remus never thought he'd be the sort of person to put all his hope into someone he didn't even know. But now his hope somehow ended up resting on Professor Corbyn's shoulder's, who didn't even know how much the lessons meant to Remus. However, his professor didn't let him down in his continued efforts to bring up point after point against the instilled prejudices. But the biases of Remus' fellow classmates always seemed to win out in the end.

Only those who had grown up in the Muggle world were able to realize the wisdom of their professor's words. Which really just meant Lily and...well him. However, it wasn't until one day later after class in which Professor Corbyn had been talking, that Remus realized the two people he thought his professor had successfully started to get through to were actually three.

...

It's not that Remus had forgotten about Ryan. He just had a lot of other things on his mind and he really had suspected that Ryan would never actually contact him. However, Remus was pleased to be proven wrong, not that he was lacking for friends now that his roommates had agreed to wait until the end of the year. It's just that Remus liked Ryan quite a lot and he figured it couldn't hurt to make more friends in case the ones he had this year weren't around next year.

So, it was with great excitement that he went to the library that evening after Ryan had signaled him in class. It was strange to go there not to meet with Lily, who was at the library in a different section, but Ryan. Who upon realizing the library was too full to be an adequate meeting place suggested they take a walk instead.

Not wanting Sirius especially to catch Remus with a Slytherin he suggested that they go to an empty classroom instead. Remus didn't expect that to mean the astronomy tower but realized there was probably less of a risk that they'd run into anyone there, especially Slytherins who tended to spend their time on the opposite side of the castle.

"Sorry, I know I shouldn't care so much what they think but…."

"It's ok … really it is," Remus assured Ryan for the fifth time, as the boy kept apologizing for it taking nearly two months before they met up.

"Ok...I just…."

"I know Ryan, it's fine." Remus bit back a laugh, and Ryan, finally realizing he was being ridiculous, stopped apologizing.

"Well, that's good. It helps that I've made a friend in my own house, though we have to be careful we aren't seen as being too 'obstinate' to the older students in power."

"Really, who?" Remus asked excitedly, very grateful that Gryffindor wasn't at all like that. There were the prefects who had some power and the Quidditch captain, but there was no real hierarchy within his house.

"His name is Jacob. He's two years above us. You should know him though. I guess he's friends...or sort of friends with Patricia?" Remus shrugged and explained to Ryan the somewhat strange relationship he and his roommates had with the older student.

"So she's like their….mentor but mostly ignores you guys? How weird. I sort of wish the older Slytherins paid less attention to us. I mean...well they do to a lot of us...but I mean I wish they left all of us alone. It almost makes me feel bad for people like Severus if they weren't themselves so nasty."

Remus sighed understanding perfectly. He had been seeing a lot of Severus since he'd been seeing a lot of Lily. Overall the Slytherin had been...decent? But... it was hard for Remus to let go of what happened last year.

"Well, I'm glad Jacob is nice at least."

"Yeah, he's really into magical creatures and mysteries."

"Let me guess. He spends time in the forbidden forest?"

"Yeah," Ryan exclaimed in awe, "how'd you know that?"

Remus glanced around and hesitated, still not quite sure how much he could trust Ryan. Then again, if Ryan did tell someone maybe it meant that Remus and his roommates wouldn't have to go back to the forest at all.

"Because Patricia seems quite obsessed with it really. She even took my roommates and me there."

"Wow! Isn't that dangerous?"

Remus nodded and explained generically how it went, which ended up sounding sort of boring since he left out what happened with him and James altogether. However, Ryan didn't seem to find it boring at all.

"I wonder if there are dark creatures in the forest."

Remus stifled a groan and mentally came up with an excuse to leave, not wanting to hear the familiar 'methods of killing monsters' or 'coming up with the most dangerous ones' that he often heard from his roommates.

"Don't know," he replied shortly, hoping Ryan would get the hint.

"Oh sorry. Do you not like dark creatures?"

Remus' eyes widened at the odd question, and his heart skipping a beat with hope.

"You….you like them?" he asked, shocked, and Ryan misunderstanding, blushed in shame.

"Well…..I mean my family didn't, and seven weeks ago I sure as heck didn't. But….I mean you have to admit Professor Corbyn does a great job, and I mean it all makes sense….," Ryan trailed off uncertainly, clearly nervous about angering Remus with, what he assumed was, his differing opinion. Instead, Remus was thrilled and they lost track of the time discussing their professor's classes and what they thought it would take for their other classmates to come to the same, if not rather shaky, conclusions they had come to.

Then they talked about other classes and, careful not to upset one another, some events in the larger wizarding world. So that by the time they headed back it was already dark out.

"Only three more days until the guests arrive. I can't wait for that feast. I know it won't be like the Halloween Feast but everyone's talking about how it will probably be even better and we get two feasts the same week. I always love the decorations don't you?"

Remus nodded only half listening as they made their way through the halls. He hadn't given the guests much thought and was disappointed he'd most likely be missing it since he'd still probably be in the hospital ward, though at least he wouldn't miss the Halloween Feast this year.

Suddenly Remus, who had been scanning the halls nervously for any Slytherin or Gryffindor, saw Lily and Severus heading back from the library. Reacting quickly he grabbed Ryan and yanked him into a broom closet, heart hammering with worry for them both.

"W….what is it Remus?"

"Sorry Ryan, I saw Severus and Lily and…"

"Me too, but why drag us both in here?" Ryan sounded amused, not upset, and Remus felt his cheeks heat, realizing what a dumb move that had been.

"Sorry, I just reacted instinctively."

"Drag a lot of people into broom closets do you?" Ryan asked, now sounding quite delighted and proud of his teasing. Remus was about to give some retort but Severus and Lily passed by them and they caught a glimpse of what they were saying.

"I'm telling you, Lily, there is something off about Remus. His disappearances are strange and the fact he still hangs out with James…"

"Severus please, I just said it was a shame he couldn't join us today! Besides we've been through this so many times. Remus' mother is very sick and he visits her. That's why he's missing so much. Now I do question his sanity for hanging out with Black and Potter but he's stuck in a dorm with them so it's not like he can avoid them entirely. Besides, perhaps he's a good influence on them since they haven't pranked you or any other Slytherins yet," Lily pointed out with more patience than Remus thought he would have had. Their voices trailed off and Remus shifted uncomfortably knowing Ryan had heard exactly what he had.

"Your….mom?"

"I didn't want to tell them. I mean it's...I haven't told them she's dead yet," He replied truthfully and he could see Ryan nod beside him, then the boy let out an involuntary gasp.

"Blimey, your….your eyes."

Remus cursed internally and barely avoided touching his eyes this time. He tried to remain calm but his heart was hammering wildly, he had completely forgotten about his blasted eyes! After finding James in such a state he had put it far out of his mind, besides he was hoping it was….well a one time fluke?

"Potion I've been trying out," he replied quickly, his voice shaking slightly.

"I thought you were terrible at potions. Oh...sorry."

Remus laughed, glad he no longer sounded so nervous and was grateful that Ryan instead wasn't questioning what potion or asking to have some of it.

"It's fine. I am, but my roommates helped."

"Cool. Are….are we gonna leave the closet now? Or did you want to stay in it?" Ryan laughed and Remus nodded, still feeling shaky. He fiddled with the handle for a moment finding it hard to get his hand to function properly.

Then both of them stumbled into the light where thankfully Remus' eyes went back to their normal non-glowing state. He had completely forgotten to mention it to Madam Pomfrey when he saw her last month, being too upset by Peter to remember, and now it had happened again! He didn't know why or what but he knew he had to go talk to Madam Pomfrey immediately before one his friends did something else stupid and he forgot again.

"Remus you ok?….Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable with the joke…."

"Huh? No, no, it's fine. You have the parchment now so we can stay in touch better."

"Yeah sounds good," Ryan replied quickly, still sounding worried, though Remus couldn't understand why. Remus thought he was doing a pretty good job at staying outwardly calm and he already forgot what Ryan's joke had even been. He didn't want to but he really did have to talk to Madam Pomfrey as soon as possible.

His last transformation had been no worse than usual but if this was something that could make his transformations more violent or something then she needed to know, and they only had until tomorrow night before he transformed again. But honestly, Remus just needed her to know in order for her to tell him it was nothing or normal because even if it didn't affect his transformation Remus had had enough of him changing to last a lifetime.

"I'll see you later then?"

"Oh... Yeah ok."

"Bye Ryan."

"Bye Remus."

He thought Ryan sounded a little put-off and hoped his quick departure hadn't offended him.

But it was stressful anyways for Remus walking with him throughout the halls. For one, Remus didn't want to explain a Slytherin friend, and second, he was very worried Ryan's consequences would be much worse than his own if they were found out. Sighing, he went right to Madam Pomfrey, still feeling jittery. He found her scolding some Hufflepuff whose arm was bent the wrong way on the importance of proper flying safety.

"Honestly that sport fills half my ward every year," she was muttering to herself restacking a little trolley with draughts and healing potions as if it had personally affronted her "….Oh, Remus! Darling how are you? A bit early aren't you?" she asked, brightening up upon seeing him.

"Alright, Madam Pomfrey and no it's not that. I was actually wondering….well if you're not too busy could….could we talk for a moment?" he asked timidly wishing she would remember to always treat him like a 'normal' student, especially when other people were in the ward.

"Of course dear," she replied, gesturing subtly to the private room reserved just for him. He went back there feeling self-conscious, and odd being in the little room prior to his monthly visits. Sitting on the bed he swung his feet and waited for the Matron.

"I don't think it's normal for werewolves to have glowing eyes. So I'm a freak even by werewolf standard?" he thought to himself but had to stop because it was rather counterproductive in helping him calm down and he didn't want to panic more than he already was.

"Sorry about the wait. Quidditch season has started and my work goes up even before the games begin," she tisked, "now what's going on?"

"I uh…...didn't really know who else to talk to….," he began awkwardly. Madam Pomfrey gave him a look of dry amusement.

"Well out with it. You can't imagine the things I've heard," she shook her head sighing heavily, "especially from young boys going through puberty." Remus felt his face go hot.

"N...nothing like that!" he yelped, blushing further as she laughed.

"Calm down. Didn't mean to scare you. Changes to your body are completely natural you know and all the confusing feelings that come with it."

Remus picked up the pillow on his bed and buried his face into it resisting the urge to scream in horror.

"Madam Pomfrey please stop! It's not that at all!" he groaned, causing her to laugh once more.

"Oh, I'm just teasing you. You're a bit young for that yet. But you can talk to me about anything at all Remus, you ought to know that by now."

He did know that, sort of...well within reason. He couldn't tell Madam Pomfrey about his dad and he'd rather die before talking to her about….about 'natural changes'. He shuddered again, determined not to go through puberty himself.

He already changed enough once a month so it was only fair he didn't have to go through the rest, thank you very much.

When Madam Pomfrey sat quietly for a few minutes Remus realized it was safe and peeked past his pillow, the Matron regarding him seriously. He took a deep breath, his cheeks still feeling warm. He realized he had to tell her… there really was no way around it.

"So what is it dear?"

Remus took another deep breath, but somehow now found it easier to talk to her now.

"My eyes... glow in the dark…..I don't know why. I haven't drunk a potion or anything," he concluded, watching her eyebrows rise in surprise.

"Well….Remus," she began sounding a bit awkward.

This coming from the woman who just mentioned puberty to him without so much as blinking!

He squeezed his pillow tighter, his worst fears confirmed.

"It's a….a werewolf thing isn't it?"

"Well let's get you properly checked out and we will see," she retorted, back to her usual briskness which brought him some comfort. He let her poke and prod him and drank what she handed him for a few hours before all the tests concluded what he knew all along.

Madam Pomfrey came to sit by his bed taking his hand in her own, a normally comforting gesture that did nothing for him at the moment. His head was suddenly pounding and his heart felt far too tight for comfort in his chest.

"Remus darling, not much is known about young werewolves, they…."

"Are usually killed or grow up off the radar. Yes, I know Madam Pomfrey. It's all been explained to me."

"Good. Then you'll know that it's... possible there are... differences between growing up being a werewolf and becoming one as an adult."

Remus nodded biting his lip so he didn't start crying. Madam Pomfrey patted his hands clearly knowing this was very scary for him to think about.

He still remembered his father sitting him down shortly before his mom passed away, it had been one of the worst transformations yet, and his father had told Remus that it may get worse and he had to be strong for them. Even when he was little the transformations caused a lot of damage to his body which he had seen clearly in the x-rays he'd been given by Muggle doctors in his mother's frantic attempts to make him better, looking anywhere she could for answers.

"There was a young girl in Germany….." he could hear his voice but it sounded distant and high pitched to him. He could remember his mother and father fighting for weeks once Lyall realized that Hope had taken Remus to a Muggle doctor, they had had to move after that.

"I've read her case dear," Madam Pomfrey squeezed his hands tight.

"But….but she was a Muggle…...someone…." Remus sniffed tears in his eyes, "someone needs to figure out….. I mean it's possible some of the older werewolves were bitten young but none of them will admit it….."

"I've spoken to a few Maziologist experts and they agree that your senses could be heightened more….or…."

"Or my eyes glow?"

"Yes, I suppose. Wolves have night vision after all, not that you are one dear, you just may….share a few characteristics…since you um….since you and the wolf are growing at the same time."

Remus nodded feeling rather numb.

"Should….should I write to my father? This isn't 'normal' werewolf characteristics is it?" He looked away from the Matron's sad expression.

"I think it's best if I call Dumbledore dear. He has done more research and has been to more countries in general than I have."

Remus sat up straighter and wiped his eyes not wanting to appear so childish in front of the headmaster. He realized he hadn't spoken to Dumbledore since last year and felt a hint of nervousness as Madam Pomfrey called out 'Albus' in a loud voice.