Ochako took one shaky step, then another toward Katsuki, her eyes never leaving that face that was giving her such an intense expression of longing that she thought her chest would burst with how much it called out to her.

He straightened when he saw what she was doing, that she meant to come to him right then and there.

But two muscled arms snaked around her waist, pulling her back into the warm, broad chest of Deku who spoke into her ear, "You're amazing Ochako-chan."

Ochako took another look at Katsuki, whose face was morphing into a mask of jealousy and possessiveness aimed at Deku now, then she forced herself to turn away.

"Deku," she spoke gently, gazing up into his moss-colored eyes.

She honestly couldn't tell what look she had on her face at that moment, she could hardly even understand what she was feeling in that moment. It couldn't have reflected well on her features.

But when he looked down at her, his eyes turned sharp and he quickly looked away from her like he hadn't seen whatever was there.

"Do you wanna go out for lunch? My treat for winning."

Ochako wanted to look back at Katsuki. She wanted to talk to him right now and tell him just how sorry and stupid she was. He'd been right this whole time. He'd seen it even when she hadn't. She didn't know how he didn't hate her by now.

But she couldn't.

Just because she knew now that she loved Katsuki, it had oddly not altered the fact that she still cared deeply for Deku. Possibly loved him too in a way that was different but still potent. She didn't want to hurt him.

She knew she also couldn't just let things stay the way they were without telling him the truth. She couldn't just hide it from him. It wouldn't be fair to anyone.

"Okay," she said gently, hoping lunch would be the opportunity she needed to talk to him.

But then he turned to Iida and a few other classmates to invite them as well.

Ochako let out a forlorn sigh.

Maybe some time after lunch then, her mind told her.

She allowed herself a glance back at Katsuki who watched her again, tension evident in every taut muscle of his body.

His eyes blazed with want and she could tell that he was like a fully coiled spring, just waiting for her to say the word so he could rush forward and claim her as his own. And she saw in his eyes that he would. He would damn what anyone watching at this moment would think. He would go to her, and he would hold her or kiss her or carry her out of there so they could be alone and both fully aware of how they felt about each other for the first time.

Just thinking about that made every inch of her skin prickle with excitement. She should not be thinking about being alone with Katsuki right now. It would do her no good.

Quickly, she gave him an apologetic look and shook her head. She had to talk to Deku first.

She watched as Katsuki's tightly coiled body slowly unwound and his eyes held a certain strained expression as he had to withdraw again.

Later, she tried to tell him with her eyes, we can do this later, I promise.

And he probably didn't fully get the exact words she was trying to shoot him but he nodded once more and turned away, back toward the dorms.

Deku was still talking with a few people, presumably the group that would be going out with them on this lunch date.

When he turned back to her, he barely even met her eyes when he asked, "Ready to go?"

Ochako nodded and shot him a more confident smile than she felt.

He was avoiding her. He had to be.

The whole time they were at lunch, Deku had sat next to her, his hand lazily draped on one of her knees as they all conversed and laughed at each other, just being a group of rowdy teens.

Now that she was aware of her own feelings, Ochako felt hyper-aware and more understanding of how her body was reacting as well.

That hand on her knee wasn't really uncomfortable. In fact, it was a comfort to her. Soothing.

But when she thought of Katsuki's hand on her knee, even out at a restaurant like this, and how fevered her entire body would feel. She could only imagine wishing it would travel higher, feeling those large rough hands caress her soft, sensitive skin again.

They'd sat like that for most of lunch. Then after, traveled back in a group.

Even when Ochako had meaningfully squeezed Deku's hand to get his attention, he would just look at her briefly and give her a wistful smile, then not really acknowledge that she wanted something.

So after this for a few hours and Deku giving her an excuse of needing to study to head up to his room for the rest of the day (without her), she knew there was something going on with him.

Had he seen it in her eyes that she needed to talk to him? Had he seen somehow that she'd finally figured out that she loved someone else?

And even if she did get to talk to him, exactly what would she say? Now that she'd had time to calm her roiling emotions down and think about it, she wasn't sure what she should tell him. "Hey, I realized I'm in love with your bitter rival and have been lying to myself about it this whole time"? No, she had to really consider what she was going to say and what she wanted to do.

Ochako retreated to her own room after a small study session with the rest of the girls, then dinner.

She tried to study a little bit more but as the material got more and more boring, her attention kept straying again and again to the ash blonde boy with eyes like molten lava.

She loved him.

Just thinking of it again, made her heart twist and turn as though she were on a rollercoaster

She had thought she loved Deku, and maybe she had in an innocent, almost childish way. But Katsuki… the way her heart ached at the thought of how much she missed how they'd gone back and forth with each other, even when they'd argued… the way her body heated when she remembered him kissing her neck and the way his eyes always told her exactly how much he wanted her. Those feelings were nearly overwhelming in their intensity and she was horrified that she hadn't realized what they actually were when she'd been feeling them initially.

She recalled New Year's and how happy she had been for those few blissful minutes before she had decided to ruin everything between them. The way he'd smiled at her. The way he'd wrapped his arms around her without a second thought. The way he'd pulled her away just to kiss her.

Was that just a taste of what they could've had? How happy she could've been if she hadn't been so stupid? Why hadn't she realized that she'd felt like her own heart was breaking because it was?

She'd wanted him and she'd wanted to hear him say all the things he'd said. But her mind had denied it and denied it because she was so set on dating Deku and not someone who was rude and surly and nothing like him. And so she'd cried and broken her own heart along with his because she hadn't understood the truth, even when he was yelling it into her face.

Ochako set her pencil down now and looked out at her balcony.

She wanted to see him. To talk to him and tell him everything she should've been saying this whole time.

She couldn't just go down and take the elevator back up to his floor. He and Deku were on the same floor. Not to mention the fact that she didn't really want to run into anyone else on her way to his room either.

She wanted to believe she didn't have anything to hide but she had plenty. She was dating one boy while being far more in love with another. She hadn't been able to get said boy out of her mind all day. Now she wanted to see him. Alone.

There was a lot to hide here, even if she knew she didn't want to and didn't intend to if she could've just gotten to talk to Deku….

Ochako padded to her balcony door and opened it, stepping out onto the cool concrete and closing the door behind her.

She'd promised him later. Maybe not in words but in her own mind and that was good enough as said out loud. It was later now.

She jumped to the ground, reducing her weight to minimize her fall, then traveled around to the boys' side of the building. She looked up, knowing the room she was aiming for was right at the end so she wouldn't have to count windows from the edge, just count the floors up.

Floating herself, she started moving up.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

At the fifth floor, she grabbed for the balcony railing and released her quirk, hopping over the railing easily.

The curtains were open now and she peered inside.

She'd forgotten that she'd been in this room only just last night, though it felt like it had been years ago. She'd been thinking then that she was in a danger zone for remembering (and not disliking how she remembered) his hands on her body.

Maybe she had been right last night. And now she was here and aware of her own feelings. That put her way past the danger zone.

This might be a bad idea, her mind decided to pipe up.

Too late.

Katsuki was inside, sitting at his desk, scribbling on paper who-knew-what. They had academic exams come Monday. He was likely studying like everyone else.

She watched him for a moment. His massive muscled body, clothed in a form-fitting tank and loose-fitting cargo pants, curled over a paper at his desk, looking relatively relaxed for once. He would run a hand through that unruly spiked hair sometimes when he was thinking exceptionally hard or stuck on a problem.

Then, as if he sensed her eyes on him, he turned to her.

The way she felt when his ruby eyes met hers was almost indescribable.

How do you describe the feeling of every emotion, every moment, every touch crashing down on you all at once?

She felt like the world was falling out from beneath her and all that tethered her to this plane of existence were those two scarlet eyes burning a brand deep within her soul.

She wanted to go to him. She wanted to stare at him and feel the way she felt right now forever. And if his expression was any indication, he wanted the same.

But he regained his wits first and hastily rushed to the door, throwing it open.

"What are y-"

Ochako threw herself into his arms, not waiting for anything he had to say. She pressed her entire body into his, feeling everything that she was meld into him as he locked his arms around her and crushed her to him with more force than most would feel comfortable with. But to her, it felt like restraint. He wanted so much more than to be holding her close to him. This crushing embrace was a starting point, the tip of the iceberg of what they were really feeling.

She breathed his scent in deep, her eyes pricking with unshed tears again as she basked in the warmth of his vast size and strength.

She felt and heard as he took in a large inhale of her hair as well, tangling his fingers in it like he had the night he'd asked her to choose him.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her lips moving against his chest as she spoke, and he shivered.

He didn't respond. Just held her close, his grip threatening to never let her go again.

She let a couple tears fall from her lashes as she tried to burrow deeper into him, her cheek now pressed to his warm chest, hearing his heart racing just as quickly as hers.

Katsuki pulled back from her then. Not far. Just enough to look down into her eyes again.

He put his large palms on either side of her head to cup her face, looking at her like she was a dream brought to life.

"What are you doing here, pink-cheeks?" he asked in a heartbreakingly tender voice.

A Katsuki this sweet might just ruin her, she figured. Hadn't that been what she'd thought so long ago when he'd stared down at her after kissing the bruise on her neck he'd left there himself? She'd been right, he could ruin her. But, somehow, she was okay with that fact now.

"I… I wanted to see you," she rasped out, finding it hard to find her voice again, "I had to tell you, I…"

She choked on her words, suddenly afraid- terrified- of what he would say.

He smirked down at her with that little know-it-all smile, "You love me. I know. I told you so."

Somehow, despite all that she knew she was feeling, she found it in herself to glare at him, pouting her lips.

"You could've at least let me say it," she grumbled.

He chuckled, his chest vibrating with the sultry rumble.

"I'll let you tell me. Later," he purred, sending electricity immediately shooting through her body.

"Katsuki," she breathed and when he inhaled sharply, she didn't dread it for once. He didn't tell her to stop or pull away from her. He gripped her tighter, releasing a long sigh.

He leaned down to her, resting his forehead on hers, closing his eyes. They relaxed into each other and Ochako felt content.

After a small eternity, he pulled away from her, taking her by the hand and pulling her completely into his room. Once again, the only light on was his desk lamp, everything much the same.

He sat back at his desk, sitting sideways to face her just inside the door.

"Did it go badly with Deku? You went with him to tell him, right?"

Ochako stilled and held her breath.

"I... didn't get a chance to talk to him yet."

And just that quickly, Katsuki assumed the demeanor of a predatory lion. His eyes darkened and turned cold, his face wary.

"Why not?" he inquired in a low, dangerous voice. The T in "not" hit with particular viciousness, "You spent all day with him."

"He never gave me a chance to," she explained hastily, "He invited other people to lunch and we never had any time alone after that. Whenever I tried to get his attention, he wouldn't take the hint."

He lowered his lids at her in a unbelieving expression, "Did you even just tell him you wanted to talk?"

"I- No," she admitted, looking away and shuffling her feet.

"Floaty…" he growled, the beginnings of a sneer coming to his face.

"I want to! I will! I promise!" she declared to him, "I don't think he wants to talk to me. I think he knew I wanted to and he avoided it…"

Katsuki rubbed at his forehead with his hand, elbow propped on his desk.

"You're a pain in my ass, angel-face," he sighed, his eyes softening once more.

Ochako's heart squeezed at that name he'd given her. All of them meant something to her but this one… it meant something more. It meant something more to him.

She padded over to him now, her bare feet hardly sounding on the wooden floor, and kneeled before him, crossing her arms over his lap to rest her chin on, gazing up to meet his downturned eyes.

"Ochako," he grumbled, sounding forlorn.

"I will," she assured him again.

He just shook his head, not really believing her.

Fisting the front of his tank top, she yanked his face down to her level.

"I will."

His molten eyes flared to life as she pulled him in, getting that glazed look to them again.

Did he like when she was the dominant one?

She'd always figured with the way he was so aggressive and initiated things, he liked to be the one in control. But the way he had obeyed her so easily before and how he melted into her touch now, like putty in her hands, said otherwise.

Suddenly she realized how close he was, his face only inches from hers now. So close, the breaths between them mingled together in little whirling eddies.

Those glowing scarlet eyes watched her as she watched his mouth. She wanted those soft, pink lips on hers, on her neck, on her body…

Her cheeks heated and she licked her lips.

She started though, when Katsuki grabbed her hand holding tightly to his shirt front.

His grip was firm and she looked back up to his eyes, seeing a frown creasing his brow.

"Tell. Deku. First," he ground out, the words clearly coming as a struggle.

She loosened her fist and he pulled her hand away from his chest, holding it between them.

"I will," she said again, more quietly this time, saddened by his rejection, yet understanding why and knowing he was right.

Katsuki would never play second fiddle. He wouldn't be her secret and she didn't want him to be. He deserved more than that. He was better than that. He would wait until he was the only one.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow. I'll force him to talk to me if I have to."

Katsuki nodded once in acknowledgement, though his eyes were still on her hand, resting easily in his.

Ochako interlaced her fingers with the rough, calloused fingers of that glove-like hand and brought his palm to her cheek, her eyelids fluttering at his warm touch.

He didn't pull away, only let his warmly glowing irises land on her own, heating her from the inside out.

They watched each other once more as she continued to press his palm to her heated face.

"I should go," she whispered, not wanting to go at all. Wanting to hold onto him forever.

But staying longer would only mean wanting him more and making choices she would regret in the end. She understood now why he'd distanced himself from her before.

He nodded again, his jaw tightening.

Ochako stood, gently extracting her hand from his and pushing up to her feet, using his knees for leverage.

His palm fell away from her cheek and the coldness she felt in its absence was more than just skin-deep.

She turned her back to him and headed toward the balcony door, her feet still barely audible as they stepped across his floor.

She heard his chair squeaking and his louder, heavier foot steps, then he was at her back, his body pressed into hers, lips at the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

Ochako could hardly breathe as he brought his right hand around to her front, easily finding the bottom of her sleep shirt, sliding his hand up underneath and pressing it, splayed, against her flat stomach, pulling her in closer, caressing the soft skin there.

His other hand went to her hip, gripping it with bruising strength.

"I want you, Ochako," his gravelly voice spoke into her ear, sending tingling sensations down her spine, "You're already mine. You just need to tell everyone else so I don't have to rip their heads off if anyone tries to touch you like I do."

Ochako's knees shook at his statement. There was no doubt in his tone, no apprehension. Just sureness of a fact. He might as well have been telling her that the sun rose on the eastern horizon or that her hair was brown. And the fact that he was so sure of their feelings for each other made her legs feel like jelly.

A finger at her stomach traced the line of her abs from her belly button to the very bottom of her sternum, sending a violent shiver throughout her body.

"Katsuki," she whispered, her heart constricting as it also beat wildly. Where had all her air gone? He was stealing the breath from her.

"I can't wait much longer," he murmured, his voice taking on an almost pained tone.

He nuzzled tenderly at her neck and she understood the words he was conveying through that gesture.

Please.

Then his hands slid away from her, his body drawing back as he nudged her lightly toward the door.

Ochako swallowed and put her shaking hand to the door handle.

She looked back at him and his eyes burned with emotion. Want. Need.

"I will," she said again for the final time and his eyes only glowed brighter in response.

She opened the door, stepping into the cool night air.

Turning to close the door again, she took one final look at him.

He still watched her- would watch her until she was out of sight. His eyes still saw her, still knew her, still loved her despite what she had, and continued to, put him through. How did she deserve someone like this? Did he know that he was too good for her?

She finally turned away again and leapt over the railing to head back to her room.

The next day, Ochako awoke feeling refreshed and giddy.

Finally understanding what she had truly been feeling these past few months felt like a humongous weight off of her chest.

Now the only thing weighing her shoulders down was Deku. He was avoiding being alone with her, she knew it. He'd sensed she had wanted to tell him something important.

She had to tell him today. It was the only day they had left. After this, they would have non-stop exams until they graduated. She had to force him to talk to her, even if it meant dragging him away.

"I can't wait much longer," Katsuki's rough voice reminded her.

She wondered what it would mean for her if he had to wait any longer. If he'd just give up on her. The thought was terrifying, hateful. But she also couldn't deny that she'd deserved for him to give up long before now. She wasn't that special. She had nothing to offer worth waiting for. Any other person was capable of loving him and treating him well, she had to admit.

Ochako travelled down to the bottom floor, picking nervously at a seam in the shorts she was wearing.

Surprisingly enough, she didn't have to wait long to get Deku alone.

As Ochako entered the common area of the dorms, she found him seated on his own, eating breakfast. He looked stressed, like something was weighing heavily on him. And just seeing that look about him, caused anxiety to roil in her stomach.

She gathered her courage and pulled out a chair across from him, seating herself in his line of vision.

Smiling warmly at him she said, "Good morning, Deku."

He did his best to smile back, but it was weak, strangled, "Good morning, Ochako-chan."

The way his face was so downtrodden was really beginning to weaken her resolve. What was wrong with him?

"Deku," she said as kindly as she could, "I was hoping I could speak with you. Privately."

She emphasized the last word to drive home the fact that this was important and not something she wanted a bunch of other people hearing.

"Actually," he replied, starting to look a little green. Maybe he shouldn't have been eating anything right at that moment, "I was hoping to talk to you as well. Could you come to my room? I'd like to talk about it now if we could."

Ochako's heart beat a little faster, her nerves getting the best of her.

Misinterpreting the fear he saw in her eyes, Deku amended, "And don't worry, I won't try anything like before. I'm sorry I just sprung that on you like that."

She nodded, trying to look a little calmer, still feeling her nerves bunching up inside of her, and stood again.

Deku got up from his chair as well, going to the kitchenette to discard his dishes and coming back to lead her to the boys' side elevator.

Ochako didn't know why she felt like she was in a death procession as she followed Deku to the elevator and took the elevator with him up to the 5th floor, heading straight to his room.

When she was inside and sitting as comfortably as she could at his desk, he shut the door and stood just inside of it.

He took a deep breath, running a shaky hand through his mop of forest green hair.

"I'm sorry I was avoiding you a bit yesterday," he said first, not meeting her eye, "I know you wanted to talk then, I could tell you were trying to get my attention. But I was feeling nervous and I hadn't gotten the courage up to confront you then."

Ochako chewed the inside of her lip, feeling her stomach coil tighter and tighter. He didn't have to be the first to talk. It should be her who was made to feel uncomfortable- to confront this.

"It's okay," she replied softly, doing her best not to show her nerves. She doubted she was doing a good job of it.

"We're going to be graduating soon and then going off to work as heroes. I don't know exactly what's going to happen after graduation but I do know one thing," he came to kneel in front of her then, placing his hands hesitantly on her bare knees as he did so, "Ochako-chan, I love you and I want you to stay with me, next to me, working with me, even after graduation." He gripped her knees as he said it, his true unease showing through.

Ochako's breath caught in her throat. This was not what she had been expecting. It was so so much worse.

Her mind reeled and she felt like a deer caught in headlights, terrified, frozen, not knowing what the right thing was to do. How could she tell him that she loved someone else now?

His emerald eyes stared up at her, bright with adoration and a tinge of fear.

"Deku I- I don't know what to say," she replied honestly. She was truly at a loss. She needed to tell him how she felt about Kastuki. She needed to tell him now! But those shining eyes, that boyish face, it bespoke of true heartbreak if she were to reject him now. And could she do that now, with their futures as heroes at stake with these exams in these upcoming days?

But Katsuki… she reminded herself. He was waiting. He had been waiting. He was who she wanted. She didn't want to have to keep living without those eyes on her every day and his hands on her every night. He was the one she wanted to work with. He was the one who had always loved her.

Resolve built in Ochako, reminding herself of what was at stake.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Ochako. I wish I'd told you all of this- how I've felt about you- this whole time," Deku murmured, closing his eyes as he laid his head on her lap, "But now that I have you, I never want to let you go."

His words cut through her resolve like a hot knife through butter. Ochako's chest ached, her heart plummeted like it already knew that she wasn't going to be going to Katsuki again that night or any night soon. Like it already missed him. Like it was already saying goodbye.

"I can't wait much longer," his soft words, spoken into the sensitive skin of her neck, stabbed at her and dragged her into despair. She couldn't ask him to wait for her while she figured out how to break her best friend's heart. He deserved so so much better than that.

Ochako placed a hand on Deku's soft, slightly curled hair. She really did care for him. If she hadn't, it would've been hard, but not impossible, for her to break it off with him. But Deku had been by her side for more than two years. He had gone through so much and he had worked so hard and he had supported her and pulled her through so many ordeals. She wasn't in love with him. Not like Katsuki. But she loved him in her own way. And hurting him when he was this vulnerable and offering everything up to her, himself- his future, she just couldn't do it.

"You don't have to answer me right now," he said quietly, his head still resting in her lap, "But we only have so much time."

He lifted his head again, taking her hands in his own, "Just give me an answer by the end of exams, okay? This matters a lot. I want a future with you, Ochako-chan."

"Okay, Deku," she responded meekly, not willing to meet his eyes.

He rose to his feet then, pushing off the floor and slowly unfolding to his full height, then extending a hand to her.

She took it and he hefted her to her feet as well. He looked much more relaxed now than he had when she'd come down to find him earlier this morning.

"This is our last day to cram for exams. Let's see if we can get a study group going," he suggested, excited now.

She nodded with as happy of a smile as she could muster and allowed him to pull her along.

As he led her to the door, Ochako felt more dread than ever pooling in her stomach. Was she going to roll over like this for him her whole life? Agree to work at whatever hero agency he chose? Agree to marry him if he asked? She wouldn't… would she? Was she that weak of a person?

They travelled down the elevator together and exited, him still holding tight to her hand.

They reached the bottom floor and Ochako's dread reached a fever pitch, she could hardly even hear over the roaring in her ears.

Deku led her by her hand toward the common area, where it looked like a group of their classmates were already forming a group and discussing studying, Momo at the lead.

They passed the kitchenette and Ochako's whole world stilled to a pinpoint in time as she spied Katsuki leaning against the counter, drinking a cup of coffee.

His eyes caught on her immediately and somehow the roaring in her ears got louder. His eyes snapped to her hand, entwined with Deku's and then back to her face, a question in them.

Ochako shook with shame and self-loathing and absolute heartbreak as she gave him the slightest shake of her head. She tried to smile at him like she was sure of what she was doing, like she was just saying, "I'm sorry, I chose him after all." But she failed miserably and felt her smile falter the moment she tried to put it on for him, a single tear escaping the corner of her eye.

She saw his jaw clench and his eyes burn bright as he glared, not looking at all sympathetic. Then he just turned away and it took everything in Ochako's power to put her face into some semblance of neutrality as her heart ripped itself to shreds inside of her while she approached the crowd of classmates all getting ready to study.

"I can't wait for you much longer."

And now, he had as good as said he wouldn't be anymore.