Author's note:
For a while I thought I'd leave the teams ignorant and have them solely react to RvB. No pop culture explanation, no nothing etc. And I stand by that, but so many people have requested these two PSA's that I thought "Screw it" so here you go.
You all requesting these two specific PSA's is smart too. Because these PSA's are funny, informative about the halo games, and aren't like the normal PSA's where the characters talk to the audience the whole time. So basically, all of you picked the perfect PSA's for them to react to Canonically.
...it also gives me more time to plan reactions for season 10. Thanks!
Chapter 23- Drafted/What I did on my summer vacation
"Different how?" Ruby asked.
"Shh, let her explain." Weiss snapped.
"-These two episodes are called PSA's-"
"What's the A stand for." Yang quipped.
Jaune laughed and awkwardly high fived Yang's awaiting hand.
"These episodes are not canon to the Red vs. Blue storyline but were made by the same creators. There are many more PSA's than these two but those have not been shown to you. These two will be shown because of the specific information they provide. That is all, have a good day!"
"We will…" Blake mumbled as Filss finished. "Two PSA's? Why would they have PSA's?"
Ruby raised her hand, "Hold on, I actually want to know what the A stands for… the P and S too."
Blake chuckled, "Public service announcement."
Ruby frowned, "Public- what? Why would they have a public service announcement?"
"Who cares, whatever they're announcing has to be fun." Yang pointed out.
"Maybe not." Ren frowned. "Something could have happened to the show after this point that affected season ten."
Jaune's eyes widened, "You mean like the production of it?"
The group tensed, looks of worry flashed across their faces.
Ren nodded, "We can't know for sure until we watch the episode, I hope I'm wrong."
Jaune nodded, hitting play.
"Drafted" appeared on the screen with the theme.
Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief.
"I can't think of any bad production news being announced with that title." Jaune smiled.
"Unless a war broke out." Blake commented darkly.
Jaune's face fell, "That would not be good."
A small chuckle escaped from Blake's lips, a few eyes turned to look at her. "Sorry, just the irony."
Weiss shook her head at Blake.
Ren raised an eyebrow. "The voice actors actually going into the military?"
Blake nodded, chuckling again. "Although I wonder if any of them actually were in the military and if it inspired aspects of the show."
"If anything from their military inspired aspects of the show I would fear for the sanity of its soldiers." Weiss rolled her eyes.
Ruby snickered.
"That still does not mean I believe in the separate universe drivel." Weiss sighed. "I will not and simply cannot believe that the show came from another universe."
"Despite the evidence." Yang drawled.
"Including your own voice in the show." Blake added.
Weiss huffed, "Not my voice, now let's just watch these announcements in peace. No more talk of nonsense."
Yang and Ruby rolled their eyes as Jaune hit play.
Fade in to Sarge and Caboose standing in Overlook, looking at the screen.
"They're not in Blood Gulch." Jaune commented.
Sarge: "You know Caboose, people are constantly writing us email here at Red vs. Blue."
"Like fanmail?" Ruby asked.
"Probably." Pyrrha nodded, "I wonder what kind of fanmail they get."
"Hateful or positive? Probably both." Weiss explained.
Pyrrha shrugged, "Both is a given, But I've most often gotten requests to fight certain people."
"Fight Cardin!" Nora ordered, "Again."
"No need to ask."
Caboose: "Yeah, I know, I got one today. What, what did, what did it say again?"
Sarge: "One of the most common emails is for us to put Red vs Blue character voices, in Firefight."
Caboose: "Right. Firefight. That was an email."
Sarge: "But we don't have any control over the voices in Firefight."
"Is that the name of the game?" Ruby wondered.
"Firefight, huh.." Jaune mumbled.
"Sounds more like a game mode to me." Yang shrugged. "Unless the game is just action."
Caboose: "No, but the email said we could do some-thing...
Sarge: "But there's really no way to change that. Unless, you know they just, send us into Firefight or something crazy like that."
Jeff Steitzer(Multiplayer announcer): "FIREFIGHT."
"Ooh we're going to see them do a firefight." Weiss mumbled.
Ruby and Yang snickered.
"What?"
"You sound like a grandma when you say it like that, they're going to play firefight." Ruby corrected as she laughed.
"They're going to play firefight." Weiss huffed.
Green plasma starts hitting them
Caboose: "Oh, I just remembered what the email said."
"Are those the bullets from Doc's weapon?" Ruby asked.
"You're the expert." Jaune pointed out.
"They look less… sparky?" Ruby frowned.
Sarge: "What the-"
Announcer: "Covenant forces inbound. Defend this zone. Set start."
"Covenant forces?" Ren frowned. Covenant means "agreement" or "a pact." He thought.
Church's view, in game on Overlook.
Ruby, Jaune, and Yang gasped.
"This is actual gameplay!" Jaune shouted.
"They're playing the game, we're finally seeing what the game is!" Ruby cheered.
"We've seen what the game is for ages now." Blake pointed out.
"No we mean the game game." Ruby 'explained' excitedly. "Look! It is a first person shooter."
"I thought you gamers already knew that." Weiss shook her head.
"It could have been a third person shooter." Jaune explained. "No mini-map but there is a radar, I'm guessing that's a sprint meter." Jaune pointed around the screen. "Health bar.."
"Grenades, oooh look! there's the blue spider grenades." Ruby pointed to the top left corner.
"Oh cool!" Nora's eyes widened.
Yang pointed to the bottom right, "And there's his score, 2189. Either Church is really good or that's a low score."
"Jaune play it play it!" Ruby begged, "I want to see who he fights."
"Probably red team." Ren commented.
Jaune shook his head, "Maybe, but I'm guessing it's aliens."
Church zooms in with his sniper rifle onto a couple of grunts.
"What are those things?" Weiss grimaced.
"Aliens, a different kind from the ones we've seen before." Ren pointed out.
"They're short." Nora scratched the top of her head.
"And have gas masks." Pyrrha added.
"Yeah they're funny looking." Nora nodded.
"I think they look cool." Jaune admitted. "Maybe they can't breath oxygen."
Church: "Alright let's go bitch!"
He misses with the sniper rifle
Church: "Ah God Dammit."
Ruby groaned, "They're not even fast and they look so weak!"
"And Church is just standing out in the open, waiting to get shot." Jaune shook his head.
"So are the enemies, this might not be one of those cover shooters." Yang grimaced. "Those are so annoying, just hide and peek the whole game."
"Isn't that how it's supposed to be?" Weiss asked.
"Not unless you have aura, I like games where the characters have aura. So I don't die from one or two shots." Yang explained.
"Just dodge the shots." Ruby snickered.
"Dodge bullets, that may work in real life but games aren't so easy." Yang scoffed.
Church: "Come on... Oh what's up little guy-"
He misses with the sniper rifle again.. and again... and again
Church: "Dammit! Dammit! Oh come on!"
Ruby laughed, "Church is making me want to play, I know I could make those shots. Anyone could."
"This is what the game is? It's nothing like the show." Pyrrha hummed.
"Yeah it's cool!" Ruby yelled.
"I want to know why the aliens are different." Weiss commented.
"The voice said covenant forces, could be a combination of different aliens." Ren suggested.
"Ohh different enemy types." Jaune's eyes glazed over. "So we know of those short aliens, and then the regular blarghing and honking aliens."
Cut to Church in close combat with a grunt, where he misses again with no scope at point blank range.
Church: "Take that- dammit!"
"Why is the reticle so low?" Jaune asked.
"What?" Yang asked.
Jaune pointed, "Look, most Fps's have the reticle in the center of the screen. It's lower than that."
"Weird." Ruby shrugged, "But it does mean they don't have to look down a lot."
Weiss, Blake, Ren, Pyrrha, and Nora had no idea what they were talking about. Each chalked it up to 'Game language.'
He takes the grunt out with the butt of his gun.
"+11"
Church: "That's still a sniper kill. I used the sniper rifle."
"No that doesn't count!" Ruby shouted.
Yang and Nora burst out laughing.
"That's the best sniper kill I've ever seen." Yang glanced at Ruby.
"You've seen me pull way better shots- actual shots." Ruby said. "That's like me killing Grimm with my scythe and calling it a sniper kill."
"But isn't it? Your scythe is a sniper." Jaune pointed out.
"I know but- it's different." Ruby explained.
Church walks up to a Brute.
Church: "That still counts. Where- come on there, come here."
"Is that a person?" Weiss squinted.
"A Humanoid." Jaune explained.
"It's armor looks weird." Nora commented.
Yang nodded, "Yeah it looks very… alien." Groans erupted around her but Ren nodded.
"You're right though, pun aside the design of the armor is distinctly foreign." Ren explained.
He sticks the brute with a plasma grenade, the brute grunts as it explodes into "+55"
"Yeah! Blue spider grenade!" Nora cheered.
Ruby pointed to the left of the screen, "Every time he gets a kill a little icon shows up right there."
"Last time it was a fist, I guess it's to show the kind of kill he gets." Yang suggested.
Church: "Oh my God did you see that? I stuck him! That was awesome."
He picks up a target locator and uses it on a Wraith.
"Oh look it's the alien tank from one of the alternate endings." Yang pointed.
"It's floating, do they have gravity dust after all?" Weiss frowned.
"Maybe, they never mentioned it though." Jaune pointed out.
Weiss nodded, "So… what is this all anyway?" Weiss waved her hand around the screen.
"Looks like a defense mission." Ruby explained. "That's what the voice said at the beginning."
"Actually I think Yang was right before, it looks more like a game mode. Not a mission, there's a score and everything." Jaune explained.
"Oh yeah, like a horde mode." Ruby nodded.
"Not that many enemies so far, probably on an easy difficulty." Yang added.
"Church is on easy? That's wimpy." Nora commented.
Church: "What does this thing do, laser beam? Big deal. Oh wow, painted it red. Woohoo!"
"It's a target circle." Yang facepalmed.
Death from above kills everything in the area
Announcer: "Killing spree, Killtastrophe, Killionaire!"
On the left side of the screen killing medals appeared.
"Killing spree!"
"Killimanjaro!"
"Killtrocity!"
"Killtastrophe!"
"Killpocalypse!"
"Killionaire!"
"That was awesome!" Nora cheered. "Can Atlas do that? Can Atlas give me one of those."
"I- likely only the Specialists could use weapons like that." Weiss explained.
"Look at those kill awards, killimanjaro? Killonaire!" Yang read off. "I would love to have that guy tallying up my Grimm kills."
"I know that would be so cool!" Nora nodded.
"This game appears to be very action oriented." Ren chuckled.
"Perfect." Yang laughed.
Church: "Whoa! This weapon is awesome! Hey Tucker, come here, see how many guys I killed with the sniper rifle."
Church switches to his sniper rifle.
"Oh boo! Whoever shot those missiles did his job for him." Ruby booed.
"It would have been so cool if instead of missiles it was that giant rail shot from last season." Jaune commented.
Cut to Church surrounded by Jackals as a spirit dropship fired at him.
Jaune pointed, "Look at those Shields, They kind of look like yours." He said to Pyrrha.
Pyrrha nodded, "They're interesting."
"Hardlight dust could recreate that shield, like Jaune's sword." Ruby mumbled, getting more excited by the second. "On your bracer, you could put a hardlight shield generator like that on. It would be lighter than your regular shield, it would be so cool!"
Pyrrha smiled and shook her head, "Sorry but I like Akoúō." She said, raising her shield.
Ruby grinned, jumping in her seat. "No but that's the best part, it's hard light so it won't have to be activated all the time! You could use both."
Pyrrha's eyes widened, "That would be useful… extremely useful. I could throw my shield and activate my second shield as if I never attacked with my first." Pyrrha's mind whirled with the possibilities. "I would be ecstatic to have this upgrade Ruby." Pyrrha glanced over to her Miló which in spear form now had electric dust in it's tip thanks to Ruby. Ruby is just excited to be able to work on our weapons, and is skilled enough to know what she's doing.
Ruby's eyes were wild with excitement, "Thanks! I need to talk to Velvet after these episodes."
"Velvet?" Pyrrha asked.
"She told me she was really good with hard light dust, I think she could help with yours and Jaune's hard light weapons." Ruby explained. "Since Atlas is taking forever."
"It's been barely a week." Weiss pointed out.
Ruby blushed, "Yeah I just want to build them myself."
Church: "Oh come on, what am I fighting spaceships now? That's bullshit."
Announcer: "Sniper Spree, Double kill."
"Sniper spree? I mean he can't miss if there's a wall of enemies in front of him." Ruby giggled.
"Now that's a horde mode." Jaune added.
An Elite appears just as Church dies.
Church: "Hurk- blah."
"There's the regular Alien." Jaune pointed.
Ruby was too busy laughing to care, "Hurgh blegh."
Cut Sarge's view, firing at distance with a shotgun on Courtyard.
Nora whooped.
Sarge: "Huh, Someone really needs to improve the range of this weapon. Take that, take that! Come closer and take that! Alright fine, just take this."
He lobs a grenade.
Nora laughed, "Grenades are always better."
"He just has to move closer." Yang shrugged, "I'm happy I don't have that problem." She glanced at her gauntlets.
"Sarge really needs to learn the range on his shotgun." Ruby groaned. "He's had problems with his shotgun since season seven… it looks cool though." She said, taking in the first person view of the shotgun.
Cut to Sarge fighting at a closer range, killing a grunt.
"This game looks fun." Nora commented.
"Yeah the combat looks pretty good." Jaune nodded.
Sarge fights as he talks.
Sarge: "There we go! Close range. This works better. I love that so many of these guys are orange. Makes them so enjoyable to kill!
"He's destroying them!" Nora cheered.
"This is a game I can enjoy, tanking with a shotgun." Yang grinned.
"Or hanging back with a sniper." Ruby agreed.
The two laughed, both thinking about how in games; Ruby charges in and Yang hangs back.
Sarge: "Blue blood? Huh, great. Now the only thing I hate more than aliens is their blood!
Sarge and a Brute both use armor lock.
"What's that?" Ruby asked.
"Is that aura? Do they actually have aura?" Jaune asked.
"Hmm, possibly in the game they do, not in the show." Weiss hummed.
"It could just be their armor anyway." Jaune realized.
Sarge: "What a dilemma. Wonder if I could kill their blood."
"He could, blood cells are alive." Ren commented.
Sarge kills a brute as they cut to Doc/O'Malley's view driving a ghost on Beachhead.
Voice: "Killing spree!"
"That announcer's voice is awesome." Nora commented.
"And the thing he's riding in is cool, the purple in this game is too dark though." Yang grimaced slightly.
"Yeah the purple from the last game looks a lot better, still like your new paint job?" Ruby asked.
"Oh yeah, and the little dust turrets, now all I need for my baby is a booster. I think making Bumblebee float is a little much." Yang explained.
Ruby sighed in relief, "Oh good, I was worried I'd have to tell you we couldn't do it."
Doc: "I haven't had a killing spree since my last residency."
O'Malley: "Shut up, you work in a free clinic. Hua huhh, huh.
"Free clinic, aren't all clinics free?" Jaune asked.
"In Mantle you're charged for healthcare." Weiss murmured.
"Vacuo too, but it all depends on the situation there." Blake added. "They aren't big on organization."
"Sun sure does love talking about Vacuo." Weiss asked, Blake nodded.
Cut to them out of their ghost backing up from an advancing suicide grunt.
Doc: "Oh little guy, calm down just relax. Deep breaths, okay?"
"Are those grenades?" Jaune asked.
"Why isn't it throwing them?" Nora frowned.
Blake shook her head, suicide bomber. Sienna dismissed the idea from Adam but I don't think he ever gave up on it.
O'Malley: "How 'bout deep bullets. In through the eye, out through the cerebral cortex!"
They throw down a drop shield as the Grunt dies and the grenades explode.
"Wait was that thing going to suicide bomb him?" Ruby asked, her lip trembled very slightly.
Blake nodded, "It's a dark concept."
Pyrrha grimaced at the thought. "It's awful."
"...the shield is cool though." Jaune said loudly.
Ruby nodded, eager to think about something else. "Yeah, hardlight already does that. It would be cool to have one of those though."
Doc: "O'Malley, that's not very nice."
O'Malley: "Shut up. It's the appropriate amount of nice."
Doc: "Mahan, so much aggression. You'd think invading other planets would be good stress relief."
"So I'm guessing the aliens invaded their home planet." Jaune commented. "That's how these stories usually go."
"What about the giant ring? Alien artifacts like what they put Church in?" Ruby asked.
Jaune shrugged, "That I don't know, maybe the next PSA will talk about it."
They reload a rocket launcher.
"O'Malley's signature weapon." Nora commented.
New shot
O'Malley: "Taste oblivion! Muahahahaah."
Voice: "Overkill."
Doc: "Overkill! Isn't it great when you do things together? So much more fun."
"Isn't he supposed to be a pacifist?" Yang asked.
"I'm guessing Omega is controlling him, Doc is just giving commentary." Blake explained.
O'Malley: "Quiet, wet nurse. Puh."
"Caboose is more of a wet nurse." Yang quipped.
"With blood." Jaune gagged.
"Would the alternative be better?" Blake raised an eyebrow.
"Not with Tucker." Jaune gagged even more, the mental image already burning a hole in his brain.
In a ghost they are seen running down three in a row.
O'Malley: "Yes, line up you fools. Welcome to your doom, hahaha!
"I should take Bumblebee out on missions." Yang commented.
"No." Ruby and Weiss snapped.
They crash and die.
Doc: "Great team effort everyone."
Yang gave a thumbs up. "Yeah, O'Malley did all the work."
Cut to Simmons' view, with a Grif bonus! They are on Unearthed. Simmons gets in the back of a rocket hog to man the turret, and Grif gets behind the wheel. Grif has a "GOLD" clan tag.
"Grif always drives." Yang commented.
"And Simmons always uses the turret, he likes heavy weapons." Ruby added. "Like Coco and you Nora." Nora smiled, gesturing to her hammer.
Jaune laughed, pointing at the top of Grif's head. "They said he's gold, I guess he's not yellow or orange."
"Even Grif doesn't know what color he is." Pyrrha chuckled.
Simmons: "I'll gun."
The Warthog music starts playing.
Yang drummed her fingers along to the song.
"I love the warthog music." Nora giggled.
Grif: "Oh God this sucks!"
Simmons: "Hurry up, get in the jeep and drive!"
Grif: "Don't tell me what to do!"
"I don't think they'll make a great team effort." Yang joked.
"Me neither." Pyrrha laughed, "They've had a great team effort before though. Pushing the Warthog off a cliff to finally defeat the Meta."
Simmons: "Aha, slow down! Sixty-five percent of traffic fatalities are from excessive speed."
"Is that true?" Ruby asked. "I thought it'd be higher."
"Most traffic fatalities are actually caused by something I like to call.. 'Chronic Stupidity'." Yang lectured.
"You would be in the sixty five percent category." Weiss deadpanned. Yang can be an absolute pest sometimes but never stupid.
"I drive safely, seriously." Yang sighed.
"I'll believe it when I see it." Weiss stated simply.
Grif: "Simmons this is not the time, stop backseat driving!"
"Yeah Yang." Ruby snickered.
"Dad truly belongs in the reckless driver category, he is a nightmare." Yang groaned. "Qrow would have been a better driving teacher and he's a drunk driver."
"What's so wrong about dad's driving?" Ruby asked.
"You wouldn't know, you never pay attention to the road when he drives. He's reckless, thinks he always has the right of way, and flips off every school bus he sees!" Yang threw her arms up.
Ruby giggled, "He doesn't have to go to school anymore."
Yang facepalmed, "I have to be the responsible daughter whenever he drives."
They get Emped
"So the Aliens are using Doc's pistol." Blake pointed out.
"I think it's the other way around, and it looks like it can be fired without charging it up." Ruby added. "But if it's charged it fires a focused E.M.P."
"Like what you did to Gambol Shroud." Blake grinned.
Ruby nodded, "I can't wait for you to test it out."
"My only weakness." Nora grumbled.
Weiss smirked on hearing Nora, hmm maybe we will have an advantage if we are set against each other.
Simmons: "Dude, start it, turn it over!"
Grif: "Obviously, I'm trying! "
"Grif RTRvB's driving assisted you" appeared on the screen every kill Simmons got.
"Is that Grif's profile name?" Jaune pointed.
"What do the R and T stand for?" Nora asked.
"Red team?" Pyrrha suggested.
"Oh." Nora facepalmed, "Duh."
And they're back on the road again
Simmons: "Who knew Grunts were so scary when there are so many of them."
"Grunts, it fits." Jaune nodded.
"That's the name of the little aliens? Kind of literal." Pyrrha pointed out.
"What would the other aliens be called then? The shield ones are probably defenders." Ruby hummed in thought.
"We don't know anything about the big grey ones, and I wouldn't trust what we know of the blarghing ones." Yang laughed.
"We can call those aliens predators, their only goal according to Andy was to impregnate by telling grandiose lies." Weiss shuddered. "Disgusting."
"In more ways than one." Pyrrha added
Cut to just Simmons now, with a DMR. He's shooting at a jackal with a red shield.
Simmons:"Yeah, suck it, take that! Ah, it didn't work! Retreat!"
"Aww that red shield would look perfect for you Pyrrha." Ruby whined. "Dust can't be dyed right?"
"No but there has been some confusion over ice dust, whether it's light blue or dark blue. It's light blue by the way." Weiss explained. "And stone dust is orange but some confuse it with white somehow." Weiss shook her head. "And Wind dust is also confused with being white when it's actually green."
"Thanks for the lesson professor." Yang saluted.
Weiss sighed, "You're welcome, it's annoying I don't know how the colors of dust get so confused."
Cut to him as he assassinates an Elite.
Simmons: "And around the tree trunk, through the canopy, bring the tree down. Yeahah, Sarge would be proud."
"Woah, Simmons is actually skilled." Blake's eyes widened.
"He must be good with knives." Ruby added.
"He went for the knee first, staggering it and taking out it's aura at the same time." Pyrrha analyzed. "Expertly done."
Blake nodded, "I should try that move."
All eyes turned to her.
"Non-lethally of course." Blake stressed.
"Don't practice that on me please." Ruby begged.
Cut to Caboose on Overlook. In a wraith spinning in circles.
Caboose: "Deek deek deek, I have a tank."
Pyrrha burst into giggles, holding a hand to her mouth. "He's so happy." Ruby and Nora laughed along too, an amused smile spread across Blake's and Ren's faces.
"I would be too, that tank looks awesome!" Nora shouted.
Caboose: "Deek dadeek deek deek I have a tank."
Cut to him driving it getting spatters left and right, followed by a splatter spree.
Caboose: "Driving, driving, spinning, spinning. Sorry, that's not my fault, someone put your body in my way. "
Jaune and Blake laughed.
"That's a nice callback." Jaune nodded.
"I just remember Washington's disappointment." Blake smirked.
Caboose: "Hey do you guys need a ride? Oh, no- sorry, sorry."
Voice: "Vehicular Manslaughter!"
"How many first person shooters can you name where you can actually drive things?" Yang asked. "Besides in bs cutscenes."
Jaune frowned, "Maybe one or two.. none where I could drive a tank."
"I know it's cool right?" Yang asked.
"Eh, I'd rather blow up the tank." Ruby mumbled, giving Nora a fist bump.
Cut to him walking with a rifle now
Caboose: "Here I will make everyone better. Free grenades, everyone gets one!"
Jackals explode as Grif gets four kills.
Voice: "Overkill!"
"To Caboose this is just playing a game." Pyrrha pointed out.
"Maybe he knows!" Nora gasped.
Caboose: "Don't! Stop shooting, this is just a mistake. Oh, oh how 'bout you guys, do you want free grenades too? Don't worry they are free. And, sticky! You can have the last one! No- no, no no ples-"
The last sticky attached to a Brute kills Caboose too.
"I can't wait to try out my grenades, ugh we need to!" Nora whined.
"We can spar with them before the tournament." Jaune assured.
"Along with the rest of Nora's new arsenal." Ren shook his head, Nora's smirk inspired fear.
Caboose: "Ow."
Voice: "Game over."
Caboose: "Is the game over? Can uh someone put in another quarter please?"
The screen cut to black.
Nora gasped, "He does know!"
"Another quarter? What?" Ruby mumbled.
"Wait what about Lopez?" Weiss frowned.
"And Tucker." Jaune added.
"...and Donut." Pyrrha added, making sure to not leave him out.
"I wanted to see Tucker with his sword." Jaune sighed.
"Yeah this would have been perfect for it." Pyrrha added. "You would've been able to properly see how he holds it."
Jaune nodded, "Oh well, I wonder if the specific information Filss mentioned is information about the game."
"Or more information on the creators." Weiss suggested, "Now we know that the show is popular enough to receive fan mail."
"Honestly I'd rather know more about the game." Ruby raised her hand.
"Yeah it looked really cool!" Jaune added, "Come on, let's see if there's more in the next PSA."
"What I Did on My Summer Vacation" appeared on the screen with the theme.
"These sound more like episode titles than PSA titles." Weiss commented.
"What are PSA's normally called." Jaune asked.
"Just whatever they're meant to raise awareness for, for example. 'Rising Grimm population- PSA'." Weiss sounded as if she had just read it off a headline.
Camera fades to Church and Sarge.
Church: "Man, I am so excited for the start of season nine Sarge."
"Fourth wall shattered." Blake quipped.
Sarge: "Me too."
Church: "And we're totally on easy street this year man, we're just, you know, have to stand around and talk like we usually do. Let those other chumps handle all the action stuff."
"So are the PSA's acting as if the characters are still themselves but know of the seasons?" Ruby asked.
"It's as if they're actors." Ren nodded. "But still themselves."
Caboose: "(from high above) Call meeeeee."
"Is that Caboose?" Pyrrha frowned.
Church: "Watch out for that falling rock by the way."
Sarge quickly side steps as Caboose lands next to him.
Caboose: "Yahh!"
Sarge: "Thanks."
"Not much of a falling rock." Pyrrha laughed.
Yang refrained from making a 'dumb as a rock' joke. Weiss did the same.
Church: "Yeah, no problem."
Caboose: "Yeah, I don't know. I miss all the action sometimes."
"Me too, the mini-series and these two episodes have me aching for more action! And we have to wait a whole day!" Nora whined.
"We don't have to, we want to." Weiss explained.
Nora groaned, "Binge watching means watch till you drop!"
Sarge: "Uh, did you just fall out of the sky?"
Blake snickered, Yang groaned. "Ugh, initiation craziness."
Blake eyed Yang, "Your sister started it."
"I did what now?" Ruby frowned.
Yang raised a finger "First you fell from the sky, then Nora came in riding on an Ursa-" Nora giggled. "-and to top it all off Pyrrha came in with a deathstalker on her tail!"
Blake snickered again, "And then you had a fiery tantrum."
"I knew initiation would be crazy, but that was ridiculous." Yang grumbled.
"Agreed." Weiss nodded.
Caboose: "Yeah…"
Church: "Caboose, what action do you miss? All we ever did was get our ass kicked by Tex."
Yang burst out laughing, "That's great action."
"All of them except Caboose." Pyrrha chuckled.
"Lopez and Donut too but they were presumed dead so they don't count." Weiss added.
Sarge: "You weren't even in the action scenes last year, Caboose!"
Pyrrha nodded, "It would be interesting to see him in an action scene."
"Even if he's getting his ass kicked?" Yang asked
"I have a feeling he won't be shown getting beat up, he's too likeable for that treatment." Pyrrha asked.
Yang hummed, "Yeah I can see that."
"But that would be the exact reason to hurt him." Blake pointed out, "To kill the least expected or most liked would have the biggest impact."
Pyrrha winced, "I hope that's not true, but everyone that has been killed has come back."
Yang sagged, "Yeah… I still don't think Tex will come back."
"She could." Ruby said.
"Nah, she won't." Yang shrugged. "Oh well, we'll see her in flashbacks."
Caboose: "Oh I don't mean last season, I mean during the break."
Church: "During the off-season?"
"Do you think they mean the periods in between seasons?" Jaune asked.
"Probably, I wonder if the PSA's are of them in the off seasons." Ren hummed.
Sarge: "What were you doing?"
Cut to a flashback of Caboose standing outside blue base.
Caboose: "Oh, I was outside the base one day and a guy pulled up in a Warthog and told me to get in because I was late. So I got in."
Caboose gets in the warthog with a strange green stranger.
"You'd think Church would've told him not to go with strangers." Blake commented.
Pyrrha shook her head, "Caboose..."
Cuts to Reach Campaign where "Caboose" exits the Warthog while Falcons fly overhead.
Caboose: "And then he took me to this cool place were there was some stuff and there was some other stuff."
Blake chuckled "He's a great storytell-"
"Cutscene! This is an actual cutscene!" Jaune shouted.
"This isn't a game mode." Yang added.
Blake frowned, "Isn't this just different animation?"
"It's certainly better." Weiss nodded.
"Well it is animation but it's different, I think we're watching the campaign." Jaune explained.
"These PSA's were definitely shown to us to give information on the game." Ren nodded.
Caboose pats a Falcon as he walks past.
Caboose: "Touch."
Pyrrha chuckled.
Caboose walks into the building housing Noble Team.
Caboose: "Hello!"
All of Noble Team stop what they're doing and turn to stare at him.
Caboose: "And then I met some new people and they were nice and I wasn't scared of them because they looked mean."
Emile is seen sharpening his knife.
"Their armor looks so cool!" Ruby gasped.
"That guy has the same helmet as the Meta." Jaune pointed.
"That skull makes him look scarier." Ruby said. "Cool!"
"It looks like he carved it in, wouldn't that damage his helmet? How can he see?" Weiss asked.
"He carved eye-holes." Ruby pointed out.
"That is the opposite of what he did." Weiss sighed.
"Caboose is surrounded by hard looking soldiers, he's out of place." Blake chuckled.
Caboose stares at Emile.
Caboose: "You look scary even though you are smiling."
Kat blocks Caboose's path with her robot arm.
Caboose: "Hello, nice lady who is also a robot."
"Ohh she's hot." Yang commented.
"Who are you? Coco?" Blake rolled her eyes.
Yang laughed, "Coco is great."
"She is, but she's also a more respectful Tucker when she sees a woman she finds attractive." Blake shook her head.
"She thinks Ms. Goodwitch is hot." Yang cackled, "Don't tell her I told you that."
"She told you?" Blake asked.
"No Fox did, he rarely talks but he thought it was hilarious." Yang explained.
"Why are you guys talking about who is and who isn't hot?" Ruby shouted. "Look at her robot arm! So cool!"
"Having a robot arm would be laame." Yang drawled.
Cuts back to Blood Gulch
Church: "Wait, wait a sec, wait a sec, are you saying, did you go into the campaign?"
"That confirms it." Jaune nodded.
"Now we can see what the story is like, so far it looks like a typical military story." Yang commented.
"Hardened characters who talk in one liners and blow stuff up." Ruby chuckled.
"That's not a story?" Blake raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"It is for an army game." Yang raised a finger.
"So that's what this game is?" Weiss asked.
"Maybe." Jaune shrugged. "Doesn't really matter that much, Red vs. Blue tells its own story."
Caboose: "Yeah, I don't know what that means, so I'm just going to nod and say yes. Yes."
Pyrrha laughed, "I love his honesty."
Sarge: "Who told you you could do that?"
Caboose: "Oh, the man in the car. He just kept asking me, 'Are you Six? You are Six right?' And I am way older than six, so I said yes. Every time."
"There were five soldiers in the room Caboose walked in, they must mean that he's the sixth." Ren explained.
Church: "That's not... he didn't... he meant Noble Six, dumbass!"
"Hmm so the character you play is noble six." Jaune hummed.
"Why does he look like Caboose then?" Weiss asked.
Ruby, Yang, and Jaune snickered.
"What!?" Weiss snapped.
"Nothing, you can probably design your own look." Ruby laughed.
"What about that master chief guy?" Jaune asked. "That they mentioned in season one."
"I don't think he matters, sounds like some general." Nora made a face and shrugged.
Caboose: "Yeah, he did seem pretty confused, or maybe he was just confusing I forget which one. Anyway, me and my new friends went on lots of adventures together."
Cuts back to Noble Team leaving the building, followed by Caboose.
Carter: "I'm not going to lie to you, Lieutenant. You're stepping in shoes the rest of the squad would rather leave unfilled."
"So this is the actual game, sounds serious." Ruby mumbled.
"Yeah, boo where's the action." Nora asked.
"Oh it'll come, I know these kinds of games." Yang grinned.
Caboose: "Is it because they stepped in gum? I do that all the time."
Ren chuckled, "So out of place."
Camera cuts to UNSC frigate Grafton exploding.
"Woah! That's a big explosion!" Nora whooped.
Caboose: "Yeah we saw stuff on fire…"
Cuts to Sword Base ruins, with a Covenant ship sinking in the background. Jorge puts a hand on "Caboose's" shoulder.
Caboose: "And some destroyed stuff…"
"Definitely an action game." Yang chuckled.
"It looks dark to me." Blake commented. "Usually explosions are used as eye candy but the focus in the last scene was on the destroyed ship falling as those in the falcon panicked."
"And now surrounding them is wreckage, but that ship in the water looks alien. I think they won." Pyrrha pointed.
Cuts to Caboose staring at a Moa.
Caboose: "And some stuff that was birds."
Pyrrha laughed.
Cuts to an exploding burning Scarab.
Caboose: "But mostly stuff on fire that was destroyed."
"That's two explosions already." Weiss pointed out.
"I want to play this campaign." Jaune commented.
"I want to play multiplayer- that's where Red vs. Blue fits into this. Remember that alternate ending a while ago? They're in a multiplayer match, red team vs blue team." Yang explained.
"Or people vs aliens." Ruby suggested.
"Hmm maybe." Yang shrugged.
Church: "What?!"
Emile: "Crevice to the East."
Caboose: "Crust is made with yeast."
"What?" Weiss shook her bewildered head.
Emile: "Let's go."
Caboose: "Got It."
Cuts again to Caboose climbing into a Sabre.
Caboose: "And then we rode on a rollercoaster that was super fun, and went really, really high."
Church: "Because that was a spaceship!"
"That looks more like a jet." Yang pointed.
Caboose: "Waaa... Bleep. Sound effects."
The Sabres launch into space, with Caboose shaking at the Helm.
Caboose: "Ahhhhhh shaking tiiiiiimmme."
A few in the room chuckled as Caboose flew upwards.
Cut to the wing flap and then back inside the helm.
Caboose: "Man, I can't wait to touch all these buttons."
Jorge: "Don't touch any buttons."
"That doesn't deter Ruby and it certainly won't deter Caboose." Weiss sighed.
"Nor will it deter Nora." Ren added.
"I love pressing all the buttons on elevators." Nora giggled.
"Hey me to- I mean what nevermind." Ruby blushed.
Yang and Weiss facepalmed.
A brief stalemate occurs before Caboose gives in to his touching nature.
Caboose: "Touch."
Jorge is summarily ejected into space.
Jorge: "Caboose..."
"Wait, oh nevermind they probably dubbed over what the character actually said." Jaune realized.
"I can't tell what's happening in the story." Blake frowned. "At best I can tell Humans are fighting aliens and it's a destructive war."
Caboose: "Goodbye giant friend! Come back soon!"
Cuts to Halsey's Lab where Halsey is handing "Caboose" Cortana.
Caboose: "And then we met a lady who was old and mean, but she gave me a present so I liked her."
"She looks like a scientist." Jaune commented.
Halsey: "Do you have it?"
Salem's inner circle SS
"Hmm, and so I finally appear." Salem chuckled.
"My grace! Was that you?" Tyrian asked.
"In a way, it seems the alternate reality theory is true." Salem clasped her hands together.
"Incredible, I wonder if it is possible to explore these other realities." Watts mumbled, rubbing his mustache.
"Focus on the task I have given you." Salem ordered.
Watts cowed, "Of course ma'am." Tyrian watched the scene with glee.
Salem smirked, turning to stare at her counterpart. I wonder if that's how I would have looked if I had grown old. Salem stared longingly at the paused frame, anger soon began to build up. She snarled, I could have grown old. I could have lived in peace, none of it would have needed to happen. Salem shook her head of her thoughts. Not now. "Intriguing nonetheless." She nodded to Watts.
The episode continued.
Professor's SS
Salem… I haven't heard her voice in so long. Not since she left me with that final message. She can't wait to see me burn. Ozpin chuckled. Oh how far we've come, and how she has retained her flare for the dramatic. He stared longingly at Halsey. She's beautiful, if only we could have grown old together. Ozpin's melancholy grew, with a sigh he pushed the thoughts from his mind. The past is the past, best not to dwell on it. This has only been an uncomfortable reminder. And in a strange way, a look into what could have been.
Caboose: "No, you won't let go."
Halsey: "Say the words, please."
Caboose: "The words please."
Jun: "What?"
"That's how I'm feeling." Ren commented, the others laughed.
Cuts to Caboose outside Sword Base.
Caboose: "And then I met some other guys that were totally impressed."
Caboose jumps over a group of ODSTs.
Caboose: "Ah, yeah that was super hard, don't try that."
ODST: "You jumped over a sand dune. It didn't look dangerous."
"Sand dune?" Blake shook her head.
"Someone didn't take geology." Yang joked.
Caboose raises his clenched fist.
Caboose: "Then how did I lose all my fingers?"
ODST: "What?"
Caboose raises his fingers.
Caboose: "Ah! Just kidding!"
ODST: "Fucking loser."
"I bet in the actual scene it was some serious mission talk, but I like this more." Ruby giggled.
"It's funny but I would rather hear what's actually going on." Blake sighed.
Cuts to Caboose sneaking around New Alexandria.
Caboose: "De de de de, de de de, de de de, ha!"
Caboose leaps over a wall.
Caboose: "De de de de, de de de de, I just stepped in some gum. Got to find some peanut butter."
"Caboose is having a lot of fun in the campaign." Pyrrha chuckled.
"I would too, it looks great." Jaune commented.
"Yeah, they were in space, there's explosions. The combat is good." Yang listed off.
"And it's Red vs. Blue- I mean whatever the actual game is called." Ruby added.
Cuts to Jorge carrying Caboose.
Caboose: "And when my mission was all done they politely dropped me back off at home because they were my new best friends."
Jorge: "Alright, time for you to leave."
"Definitely dubbed over, what he said didn't match up with his lips." Jaune commented.
"Maybe the lip flap MoCap is bad." Blake suggested.
"It wasn't in other scenes." Jaune pointed o.
Jorge throws Caboose out of the ship.
"Woah, he probably just got betrayed." Yang commented, matter of factly.
"Well now we know humans and aliens can work together." Blake hummed.
Caboose: "Goodbye! Thank you for the ride! You are my new best friends and I will never forget you!"
As this is happening Caboose is still falling further away from the ship.
"That giant ship is flying into another even gianter ship!" Nora shouted.
"I love space movies, there are always bigger and bigger ships that eventually blow up." Jaune grinned.
"Ohh I want to see that one blow up." Nora's eyes widened.
Caboose: "You probably can't hear me though because everyone knows there is no oxygen on a rollercoaster. I am yelling quieter now because I am further away from you…"
"Hmm that's actually true, sound doesn't travel through space well." Ren commented.
"I wish we could go to space." Nora sagged, muttering about 'moon Grimm' That she wanted to fight.
Cuts back to Blood Gulch.
Caboose: "And then I landed back here at home with my real best friend."
Church: "Caboose, that was a crazy story dude."
Caboose: "I know, you have no idea."
"Yep, we have no idea." Blake sighed.
Sarge: "No. You have no idea."
Caboose: "Right, nobody has any idea."
Sarge: "No son, you specifically, have no idea."
The scene cut to black.
"Well we know a tiny bit more about the game the show is made in." Ruby summarized, on the bright side.
"We still don't even know the name!" Weiss shouted.
"Firefight?" Pyrrha frowned.
"Probably just a gamemode." Yang repeated.
Ruby clapped her hands together, "Well team, what did we learn?"
"They fight aliens and there are at least four types of aliens." Yang raised her hand.
"It's a first person shooter action game, maybe some stealth." Jaune added.
"The story is likely dark, you can tell from the art style." Blake explained. "And the destruction only confirms it, not to mention the grunt that tried to suicide bomb Doc."
"Why'd you mention it." Yang pinched the bridge of her nose.
Ruby shook her head, "A- anyway I think we're done for today."
Jaune nodded, "Yeah, Ruby you're going to be pretty busy."
Ruby giggled, "I have to talk to Velvet about your sword and Pyrrha's shield."
Pyrrha and Jaune nodded. "We can go with you." Jaune suggested.
"Oh yeah! Perfect, and then after that I need to start working on Magnhild." Ruby glanced at Nora's hammer.
Nora tossed it to Ruby who yelped, Yang caught it and handed it to her. "Yeah I- I have a lot to do to this baby."
"Not a baby, she's a woman."
"Okaayy.. yeah I need to make you some flashbangs-" Ruby started.
"Eh I can do flashbangs myself." Nora waved her off.
"Oh good, that gives me more time to make rockets that bounce… the gravity dust enhancer, and Meta's knife. It's going to be so cool!" Ruby gushed.
"I know!" Nora grinned.
Ruby nodded, "And finally I need to talk to Coco about adding a flamethrower nozzle to Gianduja. And maybe even little rockets like the rocket warthog… they'd have to be pretty small though…" Ruby pondered.
"Coco's turret is going to have more firepower than an Atlesian battleship." Weiss shook her head.
"And literal firepower." Yang added.
Ruby giggled sheepishly, "Yeah… I can't wait!"
"I can't wait for season ten, I mean I can and will.." Jaune mumbled. "But I am excited, we left off on a big cliffhanger."
"Same time tomorrow?" Ruby asked.
Everyone nodded, she turned and in a flash of rose petals was out the door. The others weren't far behind.
Non canon reaction
"Okay dudes and dudettes, let me set the stage." Vic's voice rang out.
"Oh here we go." Ruby groaned. "It's going to be me again isn't it?"
"Yep! You and Mr. Monkey!"
"Why am I here? Where am I?" Sun asked.
They explained the situation.
"Oh, weird. Ok so what's this have to do with me?" Sun asked.
"The scene is this, Ruby's voice actor and Sun's voice actor are on a stream doing things with some other people who don't matter. You'll see what this is soon enough." Vic explained.
Ruby put her head in her hands. "Oh no, the streams are where they do weird things."
"Who cares if it's weird, this is cool!" Sun leaned back.
"Of course you wouldn't mind." Blake chuckled.
"Meh, I take life as it comes." Sun shrugged.
"That's the spirit." Yang raised a fist, Sun met it and soon cradled his own fist in pain.
The scene opened to show Michael talking.
Michael: "Extra life is this year, and… you know what? Lindsay and I uhh-"
"I'm Lindsay by the way, that's my voice actor." Ruby raised her hand.
"Yeah I'm definitely that dude. Doesn't look much like me though." Sun shrugged.
Michael: "We made an extra life.."
Cut to show Linday blushing and smiling.
The room erupted in cheers.
The room erupted in gasps.
"Aww that's soo cuuuute! Your voice actors are having a baby!" Yang went to hug a bright red Ruby.
"Gahh it's just our voice actors why do they matter? I don't even like Sun?"
"Aww Ruby I'm hurt." Sun joked.
"No! Sun I like you I mean- gahh! Not in that way!" Ruby blushed even more.
Blake stared pointedly as Sun, "What do you think of this?"
"Kind of cool really." Sun shrugged, not figuring out it was the wrong answer. "What?"
Blake shook her head, "Dork."
Michael: "Because we're having a baby next year! It's happening!"
Gavin pointed to Lindsay.
Gavin: "Knocked up!"
"Scarlet!" Sun shouted before bursting into laughter, "Oh that's perfect! But I can't imagine Scarlet ever acting like that."
"That's so rude!" Ruby shouted, Weiss nodded.
"Aww is someone offended." Yang cackled.
"Why is it always me!" Ruby whined. "Why am I so special!"
"Well it is kind of me too." Sun pointed out.
Rubh groaned, "This is awkward."
"Only if you make it awkward." Sun explained. "Come on, that's not us. That's not Scarlet."
Michael: "This bitch has got a bud in the oven! Right now!"
"Is that really how he's speaking to her?" Weiss gasped.
"He just called her a bitch!" Pyrrha shook her head.
"Sun, apologize." Yang ordered with a smirk.
"I'm sorry Ruby." Sun held a hand to his chest.
"Both of you! Ugh! Dumb blondes." Ruby hid herself in her hoodie.
Sun and Yang laughed uproariously, Jaune protested.
Lindsay: "He put it in here! It's in here from him!"
"Why is she joining in!" Ruby groaned.
"I think it's sweet." Yang smiled.
"Yeah, they clearly go well together." Sun nodded.
"Sun!" Blake shouted.
"They." Sun emphasized.
The scene cut ahead a bit.
Michael: "June 2017! There's going to be a little mutant spawn!"
"That is an apt term for any child of Ruby's." Weiss nodded.
"Hey! My child will be a bundle of joy and happiness!" Ruby argued.
"Babies are disgusting little creatures that stink up everything. They're also extremely cute." Yang explained.
The scene cut to show a different extra life stream. "Shine" was playing as Michael made Iris Elise Jones dance.
"Hey that's the song that played at the dance." Jaune commented.
"Who cares, look at the baby!" Yang shouted.
"Aww it's sooo cuuute!" Weiss gushed, holding her hands up to her cheeks.
"Stoooop!" Ruby begged.
"We don't look like our voice actors so that's not how a kid of ours would look." Sun pointed out.
"I don't want a kid with you!" Ruby shouted.
Sun shrugged off the perceived insult, "Yeah a kid would keep me locked in one place."
Blake groaned, shaking her head.
Yang and Weiss continued to coo at the dancing baby.
"Her cheeks are so big!" Yang cooed.
"I'm getting flashbacks to my baby sisters." Jaune added.
"Yeah, baby's are cute. Little bundle of life changing joy! Her name is Iris Elise Jones." Vic explained.
The scene ended.
"Iris, nice name." Sun hummed.
"If I ever have a kid she will be named Summer." Ruby rubbed at her blushing cheeks.
"That was great." Yang grinned.
"Yeah? Lets see how you like it. Hey vic! Tell us something about Yang's voice actor." Ruby smirked.
"No can do, but I can tell you that Simmons's and Grif's voice actors on many oh-ccasions have read Grif and Simmons erotic fanfiction to each other. That's all I got for today! Adios!"
Ruby groaned as Yang burst out laughing.
"Grif and Simmons erotic fanfiction, Blake what have you been writing?" Yang asked.
Blake groaned, "I would never."
"They read that filth to each other?" Weiss shook her head.
"Probably funny to them." Yang laughed. "If someone wrote erotic fanfiction of us I'd do it, just to see the looks on your faces."
"I doubt anyone is doing that." Weiss sighed.
"Oh we exist as a show, it's happening." Blake groaned. "If it exists there's porn of it."
"That's… creepy." Pyrrha shuddered.
"Yeah, now that I think about it." Yang grimaced. "We are seventeen."
"I'm fifteen, if anyone writes that about me they're sick!" Ruby gagged.
"I'll kill them." Yang growled.
"They probably draw it too." Blake sighed.
"Oh gross!" Nora shouted. "...but they better draw me right!"
"Yeah." Yang agreed. "They better get my hair right."
"I don't think they're focusing on hair." Ren deadpanned.
Blake shook her head, "Are you two serious?"
"Are you!" Weiss shouted.
Ruby groaned, "I should have just let it be!"
Jaune grimaced. "I'm actually glad we won't remember this."
Weiss talking about dust was a reference to real inconsistencies within RWBY. The non-canon reactions were from Extra life streams. Them talking about their own erotic fanfiction was not me preaching, how do you think they'd react to the concept of someone else making porn of them.
Oh shit, next chapter is season ten episode one. Season ten, I knew eventually I would get here but fuck I am at season ten. I never imagined my fic would grow as much as it did. I wrote the fic just for me because I was bored, posted it as a sort of joke to myself. I only made an account so I could review stories. And now here we are, school will likely put a damper in chapter updates but they will come don't worry.
Review, give suggestions for season ten, and these may be the only PSA's I do.