If you recognize it, then I probably don't own it
Chapter 16: Resurrection
At that moment, my head broke through the water.
I breathed in air that was far felt far fresher that was. I felt the water I swallowed leave my body, the salt burning my nose and throat.
"Breathe!" A voice, wild with anxiety said. It sounded like Jake…Jake—I needed to get more air! I needed to breathe. "C'mon, Mir, breathe!" There was a smack between my shoulder blades, and I coughed out more water.
Another smack, from a warm hand…Jake. He was trying to get water I swallowed out. So I had gotten out of the water. How? Obviously, not the time to ask, because I was busy coughing up water. The thing had dragged me out of the sea had to be him. That's what I was trying to do? Right? A leap of faith? That Jake had my back? Man, if that was my reasoning. I was stupid. I needed a new brain, a smarter one. Well on with better rational thought, at least. I blinked the salt water out of my eyes. But it was too late, my contacts had already been destroyed. Hopefully my false lashes were okay, but I had little hope the rip current didn't take them too.
"Miri!" Jake asked, still tense, "Can you see? Miri! Baby, can you hear me?"
My throat was so raw from the salt I couldn't talk.
"How long has she been unconscious?" Someone else asked.
I'm not unconscious! Wait. Who said that? It had to be someone on the beach. That's what I was feeling? The gritty stuff against my legs. It had to be sand.
"I don't know?" Jake reported still frantic. But he was focused, his voice even. His hands, they had to be his, brushed some wet hair out of face. The hair caught on something, my lashes something. But more importantly the intimateness of the gesture, no one else would do that but Jake. "A few minutes? It didn't take long to tow her to the beach? Even when she was fighting me. I think she thought I was a current."
Oops. I am awake, I just can't talk…or see! I blinked but there was more sea water in my eyes.
It was colder out of the water. The air stung like pins and needles.
"She's breathing at least, and blinking. She'll be fine. We should get her out of the cold. She's turning blue… well bluer than usual." Sam… it had to be him.
And he was right, I was milk skinned, with blue undertones. Which made foundation matching very difficult. Because when you were as a pale as me, I should be warm toned. But no. I had to suffer, looking like a vampire.
"You sure it's okay to move her?"
"She didn't break anything? Did she… when she fell?"
Oh… they thought I fell. They probably thought this was a suey attempt.
"I don't know."
They hesitated.
I'm okay! I wanted to scream! I was just stupid, I just got caught in a rip! But my throat hurt too bad, and so did my eyes.
I pinched them closed. I tried moving my arms, but they were heavy with cold. Jake. Jake! Jake! "Jake…" I croaked.
I opened my eyes. I still couldn't see, my contacts had been warped by the salt water. But I could feel the rain. His blurry face? I think? Blocked most of vision.
"Mir?" He gasped, I hoped relief washed over his body as it did his voice. "Mir? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Can you hear me?"
"J-just st-stupid." My teeth chattered from the cold.
"Let's get you out of here, then," Jake said. He slid his arms under and lifted me without effort. I let him, no complaining. His chest was bare and warm; he hunched his shoulders to keep me from the rain. And ya'know keep me from getting wetter than I was.
"You got her?" The Sam shaped figure asked. I squinted at him.
"Yeah, I'll take it from here. Get back to the hospital. I'll join you later. Thanks, Sam."
What's going on at the hospital? Is some hurt? Are they okay? But I couldn't talk, my throat was still scratchy. I was getting feeling back in my arms. Enough to remove my contacts. My head swirled with the memory of the water holding me down, a flash of vivid red, that wouldn't let go. Not until Jake…. I had been a goner… but he found me… and had my back… like I trusted him too… so experiment successful?
"Contacts…" I told Jake.
"Huh?" He was half-jogging to the road.
"Gotta take them out." I explained, "Can't with you running."
He slowed his pace, and I was able to take them out without also removing an eye out. Jake started jogging again while I blinked the salt out of my eyes. My lashes had stayed on, so that was the silver lining… I was using good lash glue… that is the worst silver lining…
"How did you find me?" I asked.
"I was searching for you." He said, jogging faster. I squinted up at him.
"I followed your scent, and then I heard you scream…" He shuddered, "Why the ever living fuck did you jump, Mir? Didn't you notice that's it turning into a hurricane. Couldn't you just have waited for me?" Anger filled his tone as the relief faded.
"I thought that was just a thunderstorm." We don't have hurricanes—that I remember—in Norcal. "I was just… I was… you wouldn't understand. It sounds stupid to say it out loud."
"Why the fuck would you do it if it's stupid to say out loud?"
"It made sense in my head… now it's embarrassing… like I'm stupid." He couldn't know I was trying to affirm my faith in him, it wouldn't make sense. I wasn't one to trust easily… never had been. But I thought I had more trust in myself. Apparently I did not. Maybe because I could throw myself very far.
"Look, it was really stupid." He agreed. "I don't mind saving your ass, from the stupid stuff you do, but can you save it when we're together? I won't be able to concentrate if I think you're jumping off cliffs behind my back."
I squinted up at him, "I'm sorry…" I sounded like a chain smoker, "I didn't see the rip current… I panicked… it won't happen again." I cleared my throat. "So what happened, today? Did you…get her?" I drew my pointer finger across my neck.
Jake shook his head, I think, I still couldn't see. It didn't help that he was running more than walking, as she headed up the road to his house. "No. She took off into the water—the bloodsuckers have the advantage there." I'd heard the myth that vampires couldn't cross moving water, but I never really figured that was false, even after learning Carlisle swam the Channel. "That's when I raced home—I was afraid she was going to double back swimming. You spend so much time on the beach…" He trailed off, a catch in his throat, "Mir, when I jumped into get you, you weren't in a rip current… you were just stuck…"
I held him tighter. Neither of us said a word, but both our hearts synched up with anxious palpations. She had doubled back… she'd found me…and… that's what the red thing was in the water…her hair…
"Sam was with you… is everyone else home too?" I asked distractedly, I couldn't focus on my mortality without throwing up.
I couldn't read his expression, I figured he was squinting too, with the rain or worry.
The questions I'd had before…
"You said hospital… before to Sam. Is someone hurt? Are you guys okay?"
"No, no. We're fine. When we got back, Em was waiting with the news. It's Harry, he had a heart attack this morning."
"Harry?" I asked, in a small voice. "Is he gonna be okay?"
Jake's face did something, I had to squint harder than before to see. "Both our dads are there… it doesn't look so great."
And I felt stupid all over again. I'd been trying to test my resolve about the pack and Jacob, while Harry… nobody should have been worrying about me. I shouldn't have even gone to the fucking beach!
"Is there anything…?"
"Nothing you can do." Jake said as he closed a door. I hadn't realized we'd gotten to his house. "Except, stay here." He dropped me on the sofa. "I mean it—if you move… I'll make you…listen to SKA! Stay here, while I get you get some dry clothes."
I heard Jake bump around his room, the house seemed so empty without Billy watching carefully, with some flicker or recognition behind his eyes. It was worse because I knew where he was.
Jake was back in a second, and threw a blurry pile of grey at me, along with the clothes and shoes I'd abandoned on the cliff. "These will be huge on you, but it's the best I've got. Unless you want to do what we did last night to warm you up. I can help with that—and since you can't see I can help you change if you don't want to do the other stuff…since I've seen everything…"
I shot his general direction a look.
"Okay, maybe I could step outside… but I know where everything goes!"
"I have an extra pair of clothes and contacts in my truck."
"Oh, that works too. I can help you into those."
"Jacob, things are more important than getting your dick wet. Can you please just get me my backpack?"
…
He came back in grumbling about life not being fair. After I put my contacts in I went into the little bathroom to change while Jake let out a big 'Oh, come on!' After I came out in my own sweat pants and t-shirt, I took the grey sweat shirt he offer and put it on.
Jake was on the floor with his head on the cushion. When was the last time he'd slept? I know he didn't after he helped me sleep. But was he out all night? His eyes were closed, but he still looked exhausted.
I sat down next to him.
"Don't go anywhere, yet. Just stay with me." I asked, he opened one of his eyes and gave me a half conspiratorial smile. Then he put his arm around me.
"Guess I could rest a minute…" He closed his eye, and pulled me closer.
As I breathed in the scent of the detergent wafting off his—now my—sweatshirt, and listening to his even breathing. Poor Harry, Poor Sue. Poor Leah and Seth. Poor dad, Harry was one of his best friends. Despite Jake's negativity, he'd pull through…wouldn't he? For his wife? His children? For his friends.
The radiator was right by the sofa, and combined with Jake's heat, it was impossible not to fall into the crevasse of warmth. It had to be wrong to sleep… we should be going to the hospital… But Jake was breathing deeply, a soft rumble in his chest as he exhaled… he needed sleep. He needed sleep. And soon I feel asleep too.
…
When I woke up, Jake was still asleep. He was slumped on top of me, his breathing deep and even. The house was darker now. I guess the sun had set, or more likely it was the hurricane. My eyes felt better, but my throat burned with every with every inhale.
I wanted to go get some water, but if I moved I risked waking Jake. More than I wanted water to lie in his embrace for as long as possible.
But instead of moving, I thought the Edward of it all. I thought he was gone. I thought… in the meadow, I knew that he was no longer a part of my life. That I was over him, but what was with him? Returning in when at the oddest points of my life. And if it was really him… why would he do that? He probably couldn't help himself with the Grace Slick guitar. But he'd promised.
And it wasn't like I never loved him, and it wasn't like a part of me would never stop loving him… he was my first love…but this was too much. To intrusive. He'd promised to stay away, why couldn't he? Why was he interrupting me and Jake?
What if there was more to me and Jake?
And I just couldn't go further, because I can't have Edward hanging in my ear. I felt like Jake was more than a boyfriend, because let's face it. He was my boyfriend, whether he wanted to admit to me or not. He was my best friend, he understood me and what happened last year. He took care of me, when I needed him too. Not that I needed a man to take care of me. Jake was patient and kind, and I knew, really knew, he loved me.
And I loved him too. Not in the same way I loved Edward. Edward was my past… Jake was my present. I could never compare the love I felt. It didn't quite reach the same way. It was like comparing a desk and a table. Yeah, they were similar, but they had a vastly different purposes. They were different people, and I had different experiences with them. The love was different too. With Edward it had been like a sunset, but with Jacob it was like the rain.
Edward was gone. The same way the sun was. No longer here. The dark outside proved that. My throat burned when I sighed. Thinking about him was like, to quote Clueless, trying to finding meaning in a Paulie Shore movie. But if it was so pointless, then why was he still talking to me in head. Was it some stupid vampire thing I didn't know? Maybe with time…they would go away…after all I had my Jake.
Jake's heart pounded rhythmically in my ear. I closed my eyes and drifted again, my contacts were gonna dry out if I kept sleeping with them in, but whatever. I'd just wear my glasses over the next few days.
God, jumping off the cliff, no matter how much it told me about myself or love for Jacob, it was stupid as fuck. What was I thinking? I hadn't. And not just the cliff, the whole Victoria of it all. I felt my heart beat out of rhythm with Jake's. Teaching Jake to ride a motorcycle had been stupid, he'd fallen so much. And if he hadn't been a wolf… if something bad happened to him… what would Billy do? What would it do to his sisters? Harry's heart attack already proved that I didn't have prospective. Because if I had, I wouldn't have dangled the bike in his face. I wouldn't have done the impulsive thing, when my dad, basically, told me to get a life.
…
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car squelching through the mud on the road ahead. I heard it stop in front of the house. I heard the doors open and close. I thought about sitting up, but Jake had trapped me in his lap.
Billy's voice was easily identifiable, but he kept it uncharacteristically low, so that was only a gravely grumble.
The door opened and the light flicked on. Jake startled awake, gasping and jumping to his feet, dropping me from his lap.
"Sorry," Billy grunted, "Did we wake you?"
I blinked up at Billy, and focused on his face. I could read his expression like a children's book.
"Oh, no." I shook my head. "Billy. It can't be true." His eyes filled with tears.
He nodded slowly, his expression hard with grief. Jake hurried to his father and took one of his hands. The pain in Billy's face was echoed in Jake's. They both looked so small and innocent.
Sam was right behind Billy, pushing his chair through the door. His normal composure was absent from his agonized face.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered.
Billy nodded, "It's gonna be hard all around."
"Where's my dad?"
"Your dad is still at the hospital with Sue and Pricilla. They're helping her… there are a lot of…arrangements to be made."
I swallowed hard.
"I'd better get back there." Sam mumbled, and he ducked out the door hastily.
Billy pulled his hand away from his son, and then rolled himself through the kitchen into his room.
Jake stared after him for a minute, then came to sit on the floor beside me. He put his face in his hands. I rubbed his shoulders, wishing I could do something more.
After a long moment, Jake caught my hand and held it to his face.
"How are you feeling? Are you okay? I probably should have taken you to a doctor or something." He sighed.
"I'm not important." I croaked.
He twisted his head to look at me. His eyes were red rimmed. "You don't look so good."
I shrugged. "I'm fine."
"I'll get your truck and take you home—you probably ought to be there when Charlie gets back."
"Yeah." I licked my lips.
…
I sat on the floor waiting for Jake to return with my truck. Billy was silent in the other room. I felt like a perv, listening to his private sorrow.
It didn't take Jake long. The roar of my truck was loud enough to break the silence before I expected it. We helped each other out the door. His arm warped around my shoulder when the cold air outside made me shiver. He took the divers seat without needed to ask. He pulled me closer to him keeping his arm tight around me. I leaned my head against his chest, and he gave me a chaste forehead kiss.
"How will you get home?" I asked.
"I'm not going home. We still haven't caught the bloodsucker yet."
I shuddered, he was right.
…
It was a quiet ride after that. The brush with Victoria had woken me up, and my mind moved faster than it had been.
I couldn't imagine my life without Jacob. But if I was alive… Mike would be right…girls are cruel. Because as much as I loved him, my presence was putting him in danger.
I still wanted him to be my boyfriend, the way he held me, and kissed me… clearly he thought of me as his girlfriend. But was our happiness worth his life. Should I tell him that I couldn't keep him in danger for that? And it wasn't just Jake that I was putting in danger. It was the others, too. Sam and Embry, Jared and Paul, were all putting their lives on the line for me… could I keep letting them. And if I told him that I sometimes imagined Edward's voice… would that mark me traitor? Or triple agent? Where was the line?
…
Jake stopped the truck in my parking spot. The front of my house was dark, and turning the car off made it feel like a silent bubble. But like he was magic, he seemed to be in tune with my thoughts.
He threw his other arm around me, holding me close against his chest, binding me to him. It felt nice. Like being wanted…
I thought he would be thinking of Harry, but when he spoke his tone was apologetic. "Sorry. I know I haven't answered you email, Mir. I just haven't been able to find the right words."
He doesn't want me.
"The closest I got was 'Jake like Miri, too'. Which is not what I to say." He liked me! "When I got that email, I couldn't talk to you, but I was so happy, I could sing—which I won't because you don't need that." He laughed, his 'it's-all-good' laugh. "But, um, after everything that's happened…"
My breathing kicked up, sanding the walls of my throat. Jake like Miri, too!
"I can't let you go into your house without saying…" My heart hammered in my ears. Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! "I want you to be your boyfriend, and I hope that you still want to be my girlfriend." He pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair.
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I turned my head and pressed my lips against his. Edward could choke. He left, and if he expected me to be sad then he was more selfish than me. I waited for him to interrupt. But he didn't.
I felt Jake smile against my lips, when we broke the kiss.
"Miri like Jake." I said.
"Jake like Miri, too." He released me from the embrace, and opened the door.
Thick-stormy air blew through the cab of the truck.
"OH!" The breath whooshed out of Jake like something had punched him in the gut. "Oh fuck! Oh fuck, no!"
He slammed the door and twisted the keys in the ignition in the same moment. His hands were shaking so hard, I don't know how he managed it.
"What's going on!"
He revved the engine too fast; it sputtered and failed.
"Vampire!" He spit out.
The blood rushed from my head and left me dizzy. "How do you know?"
"Because I can smell it. God-fucking-dammit!" Jake's eyes were wild, raking the dark street. He barely seemed aware of the tremors that rolling though her body. "Don't phase! Get her out!" He muttered to himself.
He looked at me for a split second taking in my horror-struck eyes and flushed face, and then he was scanning the street. "Get her out!" He whispered to his face.
The engine roared with life. The tires squealed as he spun the truck around, turning toward our only escape. The headlights washed across the pavement, lit the front line of the black forest, and finally glinted off a car parked across the street from my house.
"Stop!" I gasped.
It was a black car I knew. I wasn't an autophile, like Rosalie, but I knew from the logo it was a Mercedes A55 MUG or something. I knew how fast the car could go, and the color of the interior. I could hear the purr of the engine, I could smell the leather seats, and the tinted windows that made the mid-day look like night. Carlisle.
"Stop!" I cried, louder this time, the roar of the engine as Jake pressed the accelerator down the street was too loud.
"What?! Are you high?"
"It's not Victoria!"
He stomped on the brake so hard and threw his arm in front of me as I lurched forward.
"What?" He asked again, aghast. He stared at me with horror in his eyes.
"It's Carlisle's car. It's the Cullens. Something must have happened."
A violent tremor rocked his frame.
"Hey, calm down, Jake. I'm not defecting. I promise."
"Yeah. Calm." He panted. Putting his head down and closed his eyes. While he concentrated on not exploding into a wolf.
Why was Carlisle here? Something was wrong? Had Jasper been…?
"There's a vampire in your house." Jacob growled. "And you want to go back?"
I glanced at him, "Yes." I breathed.
Jake's face hardened while I stared at him. For course, this was a betrayal. His hands were still shaking. He looked ten years older than me.
He took a deep breath. "You're sure it's not a trick?" He asked in a slow, heavy voice.
"No, but…it's his car. It means, something happened and he thinks he needs to tell me. I need to go back."
A shudder rippled through his shoulders, but his eyes were flat and emotionless. "No."
"Jake, I—"
"You don't need to go back, Mir!" He said sharply. His jaw clenched and unclenched.
"Look Mir," He said in the same hard voice. "I can't go back. Treaty or no treaty. That's my enemy in there."
"I'm not—"
"I know. But I have to tell Sam right away. This changes things. We can't be caught on their territory."
"My house is not there territory. I'm not their pet."
He didn't listen. He put the truck in neutral and jumped out the door, leaving it running.
"Mir, I love you." He called back. "Please don't die." He sprinted into the darkness, shaking so hard that his shape seemed blurred he disappeared before I could open my mouth to call him back.
Remorse pinned me against the seat for one long moment. What had I just done! I told him I loved him, and then I slapped him in the face.
I felt like crying.
My hands were shaking almost as much as hard as Jake's had been. Carefully, I turned the truck around and drove it back to my house.
…
It was very dark when I turned off the headlights. Charlie had left in such a hurry that he'd forgotten the porch light. Was this a trick? I knew license plate was the same as Carlisle's had been. Was I walking into my death? And where was my brother? There was no way my parent's would bring him to the hospital to make funeral arrangements.
My hands shook harder than before as I reached for the key above the door. When I grabbed the doorknob to unlock it, it twisted easily under my hand.
The hallway was black.
I couldn't catch my breath.
I stumbled inside and fumbled for the light switch. It was so dark—where the fuck did the light switch go?
The light flickered on, through my frozen hand still hadn't found the switch/
I blinked into the sudden light, and saw that someone was there, waiting for me.
…
So I addressed the email the room. I also got rid of 3 pages of unnecessary Romeo and Juliet monologue. What do we think? Do we still want her with Jake? Or is Edward making his way back into the running? Let me know! I'm sorry to say I don't think I'll be able to update for a week. We're gonna get some bad weather soon, and I am really sensitive to the pressure change. Computers, lights, and sounds can make the pain worse. So I hope I've written enough to earn a break! I'll be writing what I can.