Chapter 19

~*~ For a moment everything was distorted and out of focus. It took him some time to find and locate his power and even longer to latch onto it. It was highly disconcerting to have no form, to be robbed so completely of any physicality, but he tried to tell himself it was only temporary.

He focused and grabbed hold of the tendrils of his power that he had finally found. He followed them, riding on the intense wave of magic he could feel and taken aback when he found that it connected to Severus'. If he had still been flesh and blood he would have smiled.

He only realised that he had inhabited Severus' body when he saw his own lifeless form sprawled out on the ground a few feet away. It was hideously jarring and he had to pull his attention away from it and focus on the task in hand. He couldn't really hear anything, not properly, and his senses were warped somehow, jumbled and broken.

It wasn't important and he told himself to focus as he melded his magic with Severus' and the portion of his own that already resided in his lover. It was all instinctive, he was relying solely on his customary intuition and bizarre brand of luck to see him through.

He felt it the minute it happened, it was like a key turning in a lock. He invaded Severus' core, wrapped himself around it and held on tightly. He could vaguely see Voldemort in front of Severus, see the blurred snarl on his lips and he gently pulsed all the love he felt for Severus through their connection.

A blast of energy was released as Severus cast the curse they had created together and, if Harry had been corporeal, it surely would have flung him backwards. He tried to gather his awareness and just about managed to see the startled look in Voldemort's eyes before they turned glassy and he fell backwards. Before he hit the ground his body imploded in a flash of dust and light and that was all Harry knew before the world went black.

When he surfaced back to some kind of consciousness he realised that he was back inside his own body. He could feel his shallow breathing and his steady heartbeat as it pulsed blood around his body. It was a relief not to be dead, or whatever disembodied state he'd been in before but he still felt as though he wasn't properly himself. He felt heavy and tired, like he was trapped in a dream and he tried to take stock of himself in order to 'wake' himself up.

He was lying down and the surface beneath him was soft and comfortable. He wasn't in pain but his head felt thick and his mouth was dry. All limbs seemed to be accounted for and as he became aware of his hands he realised his right one was clasped around something. He focused his energy and tightened his fingers, hearing a muffled gasp somewhere to his right.

"Harry?"

He heard his name but it was as though his head was under water. He concentrated instead on grasping whatever his hand was holding onto and trying to let it ground him.

"Harry?" the voice came again, clearer now. It belonged to Severus and his heart jumped to think that the man was beside him. "Come on, Harry wake up. Come back to me."

He felt long, familiar fingers rake through his hair and he tried to lean into the touch, to drink it in as much as possible. "Wake up, love, come on. Just open your eyes."

I'm bloody trying, Harry thought, then was struck with amusement at the notion that he could be cantankerous in such a situation.

"Are you smiling at me?" he heard Severus ask incredulously.

He tried to speak but heard himself groan instead and he gripped Severus' hand even tighter.

"That's it, Harry. You can do it. I'm here, I'm waiting for you."

Letting himself be guided by Severus' voice, he fought his way through the heaviness in his mind and forced himself to open his eyes. The brightness of the room was piercing and he winced, squinting to try and see better.

"Oh God, are you awake? Can you hear me?"

He attempted to answer but all he could manage was a muffled 'mm'. Severus was a blurry shape in front of him and he felt as though he was weighted to the bed.

"It's ok, I've got you. Let me help."

Gentle hands manoeuvred him into a half-seated position and a moment later his glasses were placed on the bridge of the nose, banishing the blurriness. A hand held his head tenderly while a glass of water was placed at his lips and he was instructed to drink.

He took a few long glugs, the cool water feeling like nectar to his parched throat. When he'd had his fill he let his head fall back against the pillows and took a few moments to gather himself.

"We did it?" he managed to ask, his voice hoarse.

"We did it," Severus confirmed, taking Harry's hand and placing a kiss to his knuckles.

Harry blew out a long, slow breath and blinked up at the ceiling for a moment. "He's gone," he whispered. "That bastard's gone. How…how long have I been out?"

"A week," Severus said quietly. "The longest week of my life. We didn't know…didn't know if you'd wake up."

"I don't remember much…but I'm not too keen to die again."

"I would very much prefer it if you could refrain from doing so. The stress does me no good at all."

Harry laughed but it was strained, as was Severus' expression, and he knew it would be a while before things felt normal again. "Our magic," he ventured, "is it still linked?"

"Irrevocably so," Severus confirmed. "I'm afraid, one way or another, we're stuck with one another."

Harry smiled. "I was kind of banking on that anyway." He gave Severus' hand a tug and the man complied with the silent request, leaning forward and meeting Harry in a kiss. It was chaste and sweet, an affirmation of what they meant to one another and tangible proof that they had both made it.

"Enough of that until you've been given the all-clear," Severus said as he took his seat again.

"I'm fine," Harry insisted.

"We'll let the experts be the judge of that."

"I'm not at Hogwarts, am I?" Harry asked, looking around the unfamiliar room.

Severus shook his head. "You're in a private room in St Mungo's. There are a couple of aurors stationed outside. Most of the Death Eaters were either killed or captured but a couple managed to slip through the net."

Harry nodded, expecting as much. His thoughts now clearer than they had been, questions began to flood his mind and he closed his eyes as he murmured, "Who didn't make it?"

"Harry…I'm not sure now is the time – "

"I have to know, Severus," Harry said quietly. "Whether now or later it won't hurt any less."

Severus sighed, his reluctance obvious. "Many were wounded, some worse than others. Fred Weasley has been blinded. I'm told there's little chance of recovery."

"Shit," Harry breathed, upset by the news. "But the others are ok, yeah? Ron…Ron's not – "

"Ron's fine," Severus assured him, "but…Charlie was lost."

"Charlie," Harry repeated, the blow hitting hard. He'd always had a soft spot for Charlie; indeed it had been when he first started noticing him that he realised his inclination towards his own gender. "God, Arthur and Molly must be devastated."

He could tell from the grey look of dread on Severus' face that there was more to come. "Who else?" he asked, not sure he was ready for the full horror of it.

"Harry…I'm so sorry. Hermione was killed."

Harry squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden rush of anguish that hit him squarely in the chest. He was wrapped up in Severus' arms as the man sat beside him on the bed and he buried his face in the man's chest as sobs racked his body.

He wasn't sure how long he cried for but Severus held him through it all, stroking his hair and rocking him gently. He didn't say anything and for that Harry was grateful; there were no words that would help, nothing anyone could say that would take the pain away.

He was broken and so very tired. He knew not everyone would come through this bloody thing unscathed but some childish part of himself had thought he'd be cushioned from it. As naïve as it was, he had expected all those he loved would make it, that he could have delivered them into the future they deserved.

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew he was waking up on his side, the room dark save for the soft flow of a wall sconce. He scooted up and sat against the headboard, groggy and thick-headed.

"Hello Harry," came a soft voice, and Harry turned to see the headmaster standing in the doorway.

"Where – "

"I sent Severus to get something to eat. The man hasn't left your side for a week, he needs a rest," Dumbledore said as he took the seat by Harry's bed. "How are you, Harry?"

"Exhausted," Harry answered honestly. "And heartbroken."

"I'm truly sorry about Miss Granger, about all those we lost. I'm sorry for the sacrifice you had to make."

Harry shrugged, trying not to cry; he'd had enough of crying to last him a lifetime. "I was only dead for a moment. I knew Severus would bring me back."

Dumbledore paused for a moment, his hands folded in his lap as he regarded Harry over the rim of his spectacles. "You knew Voldemort's killing curse would destroy the horcrux inside you?"

Harry nodded. He was reluctant to apprise the headmaster of everything had had happened but he knew the man was here for answers and the sooner Harry gave them to him the sooner he would leave.

"Months ago, when Severus was unveiled as a traitor, I transferred my power to him to save his life." Dumbledore's eyebrows rose but he said nothing and Harry continued, "When Voldemort killed me, I transferred the rest of my power to him, combined it with his and he used our magic to cast the curse we created together."

"And what curse was that?" Dumbledore asked as though he was enquiring about the weather.

"One that finished him off, once and for all," Harry said belligerently. "It destroyed him from the inside out, bound his soul and obliterated it."

"Well, Harry I – "

"What's done is done," Harry said firmly. "I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it ever again. I want to put this whole thing behind me."

"I understand," Dumbledore said with a sigh. "In that case perhaps I might be able to help."

Harry raised an enquiring eyebrow and Dumbledore removed his spectacles, wiping them on the sleeve of his robes before replacing them on his nose. "I would like to offer you and Severus the use of my cottage to…recuperate."

"Your cottage?"

"The safe house you spent Christmas and Easter in. It's been in my family for generations."

"And you're offering it to us, to me and Severus? What's the catch?"

"There isn't one," Dumbledore said, looking mildly hurt.

"You approve of us now we've killed Voldemort?" Harry asked bitingly, wishing he wasn't quite so bitter.

"Harry, you must understand that I couldn't condone a relationship between a teacher and a student."

"We never did anything," Harry said fiercely. "It wasn't sleazy or illicit, we weren't sneaking around and shagging each other between classes. We fell in love. I know it's not perfect, I know it's not sensible but that's all we're guilty of."

"I doubt you'll see things from my point of view," Dumbledore said, and his placating tone was irritating to Harry.

"I doubt I will. You know full well that I've never been just another student and my relationship with Severus has always been different to any other pupil's."

"Nevertheless – "

"And whether you believe it or not nothing physical has happened between us until now…but now we're free and we intend to get on with our lives."

"I have no wish to stop you," Dumbledore said mildly and Harry tried to tell himself to calm down. "And I didn't come here to argue with you, only to offer you the cottage as a place of refuge."

"I…appreciate it," Harry said, although he still didn't trust that the man's motives were entirely altruistic.

"There will be…several press conferences over the next few days, as well as an interview with the Ministry. If you would prefer to absent yourself from these proceedings then I will be happy to offer myself as your representative."

Harry paused. He had no wish to expose himself to a media circus but he wasn't sure he trusted Dumbledore to act as his mouthpiece. "Will you make sure Severus is credited for his role in it? Will you make sure they fully exonerate him?"

"I promise I'll do all I can," Dumbledore said, and Harry wasn't sure he was any more reassured.

He nodded, nevertheless, and Dumbledore smiled at him, saying, "I shall let you rest. The cottage is there whenever you want it."

Harry mustered a half-hearted smile and the headmaster patted his leg before he got up and left the room. Harry hadn't the energy to devote too much time pondering what the old man's motives may be and so decided to simply be grateful for the offer of the cottage and being shielded from the press.

He had never felt so tired in his life and it seemed to have settled deep within his bones. He felt drained and it seemed impossible that he would ever have any energy again.

Severus returned and Harry dozed on and off for a few hours, consenting to eat a small bowl of soup when he was finally forced to. He spent the next couple of days much the same way and was grateful for Severus' ever-constant presence. He had an overwhelming need to never be separated from the man and, thankfully, Severus seemed only too willing to comply.

On the third day of his recovery Ron came to see him. His friend was almost unrecognisable; his face was covered in stubble, his eyes were puffy and red and he looked absolutely shattered. He sat next to Harry on the bed and eventually they moved to hold one another as they cried over Hermione's loss and Harry comforted Ron over Charlie's.

Ron was different in more than just appearance and it seemed to Harry as though his friend had aged several years in a matter of days. It was foolish to suppose that they would come through such a momentous thing unchanged but it affected Harry more deeply than he had been prepared for.

"How's Draco?" Harry asked as they sat cuddled against one another.

"A bit lost to be honest. Both his parents were killed in the battle and he's angry with himself for being upset by it."

"Poor guy," Harry said sincerely. He couldn't imagine what Draco was going through and the pain he was in must have been immense. His parents had betrayed him, that much was true, but they were still his parents and their loss must have been a terrible blow.

"Mum wants us to go and live back home. I think it might be a good idea," Ron said, absent-mindedly running a hand up and down Harry's arm.

"I think so too. Draco needs to know what a proper home is like, he could really benefit from being cared for by your mum. I'm sure she needs something to focus on after…after Charlie."

"I've never seen her so broken. And Dad…he's barely spoken two words together since it happened. George is focusing all his energies on Fred; he's promising to find a way to restore his sight but…general consensus seems to be that it's a hopeless cause."

"God Ron, what a mess."

Severus came back into the room bearing takeaway coffees and Ron scrambled to get off the bed, saying, "Sorry sir, I was – "

"Stay where you are, Mr Weasley," Severus said with a surprisingly gentle smile. "And there's no need to call me 'sir' anymore."

He handed Harry and Ron their coffee then took his seat at Harry's bedside, sipping at his own. After a moment's silence the conversation started up again and Harry was surprised that Ron and Severus interacted quite well with one another.

True they weren't exactly comfortable and both were on their best behaviour, being more polite than either usually was but conversation flowed naturally and Harry didn't even have to act as a conduit.

It was nice to exist in a little bubble for an hour or so. Cuddled up with his best friend while his lover sat next to the bed was a surprisingly pleasant way to pass the time and by the time Ron bade them farewell Harry felt better than he had since he'd woken up.

In total he spent a week in St Mungo's. His magic was tested, as was his overall physical health, and he needed the time simply to rest and recover. True to his word, Dumbledore shielded him from the press and the only people granted access to his hospital room were the Weasleys and Draco.

The evening that he was discharged he and Severus apparated to Dumbledore's cottage and found that their belongings had been moved there also. Tellingly, their clothes and personal possessions were in one bedroom and Harry had to wonder if Dumbledore had had a hand in it. He didn't need the old man's approval but it felt better to have it all the same.

"I'll fix us some dinner," Severus said as Harry rifled through the wardrobe. "Anything you fancy?"

"As tempted as I am to make a terrible pun," Harry said with a smile, "I don't want dinner right now."

"No?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

Harry shook his head and crossed the room to stand in front of his lover. He braced his hands on the man's chest and looked up at him through his lashes.

"We've waited long enough, don't you think? Now I'm back from the dead I intend to start as I mean to continue."

Severus smiled and ran a hand through Harry's hair. "I'm only too happy to bend to your will."

"Now that's what I like to hear."

Harry stood up on his tiptoes and met Severus' lips in a tender kiss that soon turned heated as one of Severus' hands moved to grip his hair as the man's tongue invaded his mouth. Harry moaned appreciatively and pulled himself as close as he could to the man's body. Severus' lips moved to torment his ear and the man whispered,

"The urge to pin you to the bed and have my way with you is overwhelming."

"Be my guest," Harry said with a breathy sigh as he felt Severus' hand move to the buttons on his shirt.

"For your first time, I think not," Severus murmured, his voice like velvet as he divested Harry of the first impediment. The man's lips were on his throat while his hands explored the smooth planes of his torso. "I intend to etch every moment of this night on your memory, I intend to worship every inch of your skin."

Thank God I evaded death, Harry thought with surprising clarity before any subsequent thoughts were chased from his head by Severus' hands going to the belt of his trousers. He was undressed with reverence, as though he were a gift to be unwrapped, then lowered to the bed with exquisite gentleness.

He met Severus in a sweeping kiss, one that took his breath away, before Severus' lips moved down his throat and over his chest. Gentle hands mapped a path over his torso and Harry surrendered entirely to the beautifully searching touch.

Every inch of his skin was explored, set on fire by gentle yet firm kisses. No one had ever touched him so intimately, no one had ever made him feel that he was about to be devoured whole and enjoy every second of it. Hands roved over his hips, his thighs, his legs as those warm lips followed, turning him into a moaning puddle of need.

When Severus' mouth closed over his rock-hard prick he arched off the bed with a noise he hadn't known he was capable of making. He had never felt sensations like it and he tried to compose himself before he came embarrassingly quickly.

Severus' tongue lathed the weeping head of his cock while one hand rolled and massaged his balls with skill. "Holy…fuck," he rasped, as his hands clenched in the bedsheets beneath him. Severus hummed around his mouthful then engulfed the hard length all the way to the back of his throat. Harry tried to form words but all that came out was a low, guttural moan deep in his chest.

Nothing had ever felt like this before and all Harry could do was lie back and revel in Severus' exquisite attentions. He had imagined it of course, a thousand different ways, but nothing had prepared him for how incredible it was. Severus' tongue seemed to have a mind of its own and it pulled him ever closer to the edge.

"I'm going…going to," Harry tried to say, but words abandoned him. Severus seemed disinclined to listen to him anyway. He sped up his pace, increasing the suction while his grip tightened. Harry's breathing became shallower and his balls tightened before he came hard down Severus' throat. His body was filled with pleasure and every nerve was set on fire. His eyes squeezed shut and he rode the wave until the powerful grip released him.

Severus made his way back up his body and kissed him with fervour. Harry tasted himself on the man's tongue and it was so intensely erotic he shivered with the pleasure of it.

"You come undone beautifully," Severus murmured, kissing a trail along his jaw. His body pressed against Harry's and Harry's few remaining functioning brain cells wondered when the man had removed his own clothing. Inch after inch of gloriously naked skin pressed against his own and he reached up to run a hand down Severus' bare back.

"That was amazing," he whispered, still feeling like he was floating. He felt Severus' hard length pressing into his thigh, reminding him that the night was far from over.

He reached down and tentatively wrapped his fingers around it, pleased by Severus' sharp intake of breath next to his ear. One man's anatomy was much the same as another's and Harry was comforted by that fact even as his inexperience made him nervous. He stroked rhythmically and firmly and Severus pressed himself closer, biting teasingly on Harry's ear.

"Ready for more?" he asked.

"God yes," Harry breathed, feeling himself begin to harden again.

"If you only knew how many times I'd fantasised about this moment," Severus purred into his ear, and Harry's head spun at the thought that Severus had expended as much mental energy imagining this as he had.

"I'm going to take great pleasure in preparing you for me," Severus whispered, then snaked back down Harry's body. Harry wondered what the man's intentions were but couldn't have imagined what Severus was about to do. The man's mouth descended on his entrance and he let out a gasp of surprise as warm wetness lapped at him.

"Oh…fuck," Harry gulped, staggered at how insanely intimate the act was, how desperately erotic it was.

Severus held his thighs apart, exposing him fully as he breached him with his tongue. "Sev-Severus," Harry moaned as he was invaded again and again, his senses assaulted exquisitely. He had never considered this a possibility but perhaps it was time to expand the parameters of his imagination.

"You have no idea how delicious it is hearing you moan my name," Severus said, his voice a gloriously low rumble against Harry's flesh.

"I'll scream it if it means you'll be inside me sooner rather than later," Harry groaned, feeling a pleasurable ache begin to grow in his groin.

"You'll scream it anyway," Severus promised before wordlessly summoning a jar from the nightstand. He slicked his fingers and gently circled Harry's well-lathed hole before insinuating one finger, carefully followed by another.

Harry bore down against them, revelling in the feeling. "That's it," Severus encouraged before adding a third. He moved them in and out, stretching and preparing him so thoroughly that Harry thought he might pass out from the pleasure of it. When Severus crooked his fingers and grazed against Harry's prostate Harry thought he'd actually seen stars.

"Oh God, please," Harry moaned, wanting nothing more than to be claimed thoroughly by his lover.

"You have no idea how beautiful you look like this," Severus murmured, stroking Harry's prostate again and again. "Laid bare and begging me, waiting for me to fill you."

"Please Severus," Harry moaned again.

"I'd keep you waiting longer were it not for the fact that I have been longing to sink inside you for months."

"Jesus Christ," Harry groaned. He should have known that Severus would be able to weaponise his words inside the bedroom as well as out.

"I've been called worse," Severus said, removing his fingers and sliding back up Harry's body with a feathering of kisses. He retrieved the jar again then took hold of Harry's hand and slicked his palm with the lubricant, guiding it to his waiting erection.

Harry palmed the man's hard length, delighting in the feeling of it in his hand and pleased by the approving noises Severus was making. Severus moved to settle between his thighs and Harry felt the head of the man's erection press against his entrance.

"We'll go slowly," Severus said softly next to his ear. "I promise I won't hurt you."

"I know," Harry whispered back, feeling safe and protected within Severus' arms.

Severus pushed forward and Harry felt his body breached. He gripped the man's shoulders and Severus moved until he was fully sheathed inside. There was a slight pang of discomfort coupled with the alien sensation of being filled but Severus gave him ample time to adjust before he began to move.

His thrusts were deep and slow and Harry's body welcomed each one. He tilted his hips and wrapped his legs around Severus' waist as the man pushed inside him again and again. Harry's body was humming from the pleasure of it and from the joy of finally being able to join with his lover in the most intimate way possible.

"Harry," Severus moaned next to his ear, and it was the most erotic thing Harry had ever heard in his life. "God, you're perfection."

Harry gripped Severus' shoulders more tightly and the man turned his head to meet Harry's lips in a fierce kiss. He had never felt so thoroughly claimed in his life, nor so connected to the man buried deep inside him. Severus' angle shifted slightly and Harry's prostate was grazed with each tantalising thrust, sending shockwaves of pleasure through his body.

Severus' thrusts became firmer and more insistent and Harry's felt the man's hand wrap around his aching erection. "Oh yes," Harry breathed, feeling the pleasure intensify through his body. It gathered in the pit of his stomach then spread out through his groin as he came hard and with a gasp, spilling all over Severus' hand.

Harry's body went limp as Severus thrust a few more times before his body shuddered and he collapsed against Harry. They were both breathing heavily, a tangle of limbs on the bed as they basked in the afterglow.

"I'm so glad I lived long enough for that," Harry said shakily and Severus laughed.

He pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead and said, "Pleasure to be of service, Mr Potter. A true pleasure indeed."

AN: There you go, my loves. I gave you what you wanted, I hope it was worth the wait! I can't wait to hear your thoughts. Love to you all x