Chapter 20
Saturday Night
Emma took a short nap in the afternoon while Manny unpacked her things and put them in her drawers. She noticed in her bag a pretty newish dress that would be perfect for Emma so she hung it up on one of the rafters so she'd see it when she woke up. As she hung the dress, Manny takes notice of Emma's sleeptalks, Manny knew that she sometimes sleeptalks. She grew concerned when she heard Emma whimpering and crying, she was terrified whatever she was dreaming about.
She was tossing and turning whispered, whining and begging, "Put it down, put the gun down." She paused again turning on her back, "Please, don't hurt me."
Manny panicked she knew what her nightmare was about and without missing a beat she quickly rocked Emma awake. Shaken up, Emma slowly woke up in a cold sweat panting. She immediately rubbed her eyes with her fists and sat up.
Manny asked with concern, "Is everything okay?"
"I'm sorry you had to see that," Emma sighed running her hand through her bedhead she attempted to lighten up the subject, "nightmares strike again, but this time during the day."
With determination in her voice, she commanded to Emma, "Monday we're seeing Sauve." Emma's face fell and she opened her mouth to make a comment but Manny added, "I don't care what you say. How long has this been going on?"
Emma sadly shrugged, "I don't know about all that but since the spring. It sucks but I can manage." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a little black dress on the rafters and smiled and quickly changed the subject to it, "Manny that dress is beautiful, is that what you're wearing to Craig's show tonight?"
"Heavens no, actually it is yours for tonight." Manny grinned adding, "you like?"
Emma continued admiring the dress, "I love, are you sure?"
"Yeah I'm sure, Jay will flip when he sees you in it."
"I hope so," Emma beamed, "it's a little revealing but I think I could pull it off even if we're just gonna be sitting around the house."
xxxxx
Manny arrived at the venue in a large abandoned factory on the edge of town. A few years ago the building was gutted and became home to shows every Saturday Night $5 a head, it looked like a warehouse but was very spacious and had a collapsable stage. The walls were covered in spray-painted graffiti and band posters of previous acts.
She heard and saw other musicians setting up the stage and warming up their instruments, she was a little overdressed and she was garnering some reactions she tried her best to ignore. She just looked around for Craig and she saw him with his friends and band, "Manny," she heard him call out to her as he jogged on over. "I'm glad you came."
She waved to him awkwardly replying, "Thanks for inviting me." It wasn't Manny's scene but she was grateful for the invitation.
Craig smiled and gave her a red solo cup from the collapsable table by him and a sharpie gesturing behind him, "Here you go, it's for the keg over by the stage."
Manny wrote her name on the cup and passed him back the marker, she didn't mention the fact she didn't like beer. Beggars can't be choosers at least for this part she'll simply get used to the taste of beer which wasn't her favorite. They filled their cups.
Craig told her, "What should we toast this Keystone to?"
Manny unsure shrugged, "To Downtown Sasquatch?"
They both then said it in unison and clinked plastic cups and took a sip. Unseen Manny grimaced and nearly gagged it was probably the cheapest and worst beer she had ever tasted.
Finally, Craig and Manny walked toward the other side of the venue and joined Craig's friends and bandmates Ellie, Marco, and Jimmy who was in his wheelchair toying his electric guitar. "You came just in time for soundcheck," Marco kindly told her wearing his accordion on his chest with an awkward smile. Jimmy looked up and waved sheepishly.
Craig had warned everyone ahead of time to be nice to Manny and under any circumstances make her feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. Ellie was seated at the drumset beating to her own drum, she wordlessly acknowledged Manny by glaring her way. It was obvious Ellie didn't like Manny and didn't know the story but knew enough to not like her. She bit her tongue and didn't say anything not wanting to upset Craig and make him regret putting her on drums.
Jimmy dug in his bag and passed Manny a tambourine, "Can you keep time?"
Manny beamed uncomfortably, perhaps tonight wouldn't be a bad night. It was a plus they were friendly with her and while he had wished to keep a low profile even though she was out she was grateful for their kindness. Craig's friends didn't mention the pictures and she hoped they hadn't seen them. She looked to Ellie for approval for some reason and hesitated not so confident in her ability, "I don't know guys."
Craig encouraged her, "I know you can, just tap it on the beats."
"What's on the setlist?" Manny asked curiously.
"We're thinking about scrapping dust, and the emo tracks we did for the movie. Joey wanted us to sing some crowd-pleasing covers and we worked on some new songs over the summer we sorta developed a new sound. We hope you like our set but we need your help."
"George Michael." Marco joked when it came to covers.
Manny shot Craig a confused expression, "Eighties?"
"Marco wishes we were singing some Wham!" Craig shot him a weird look before turning back to Manny, "No, George Michael, it's just an inside joke," Craig muttered somewhat embarrassed shaking his head as he confidently told Manny, "Nah it's more like late seventies funk."
"Different in an interesting sorta way," Manny remarked sipping her beer.
"Think rock with some funk percussion with Ellie and Jimmy's got a mean riff going and we got me on lead vocals and Marco sings back up and plays bass and of course the covers are crowd-pleaser throwbacks. At best we get applause at worse they boo us off stage."
Manny liked hearing Craig talk about his music. She could hear him, he was so excited and passionate about it she could tell he was chomping at the bit for his turn to hit the stage and itching to sing and perform with his friends, "I can't wait to hear it."
"So will you help?" Jimmy asked hopeful, "Ellie's still new on drums."
Ellie made a face, but they were right. Ellie hadn't been playing forever but she was decent but she has to concentrate on her time so the tambourine is essential. "What do you say?" Craig took the tambourine from Jimmy and passed it to Manny, "You played last year, you can play tonight? Please?"
"Alright."
The band celebrated and they were eventually called for their soundcheck and they sounded phenomenal. Manny nursed her beer until it was too hot and gross to drink and she got water instead.
After the soundcheck, she needed to break the seal so to speak and Manny went in the bathroom to freshen up. The room was boiling so she needed to reapply some of her makeup. That's when the trouble started, there were four girls from the pool and from the party that night. The girls reminded her of the plastics, in reality, they were hopeless wannabes but Manny was pretty much ostracized because of her mistake making them cooler than her by proxy.
They all exchanged looks and saw Manny putting on her lipstick. Covertly talked crap about her from the bathroom mirrors as they were reapplying their lipstick. One girl started it up was who Emma always referred to as 'tankini tramp', but she was dressed up this time in high boots and a miniskirt. "Can you believe that the skeezy girl at the party is here? Here I thought Blondie was a threat."
Manny was afraid of this. She just knew
The other girl ventured off into the bathroom but can be heard mocking Manny, mimicking a quote from a movie right on cue said to her friend from inside the stall, "She was a ho, fo' sho."
The gaggle of girls giggled and the silent girl on the end shot her a dirty look and saw they were getting to her and she reveled in it remarking, "If I were her I wouldn't show my face around town ever again. She has a lot of balls showing up here."
Manny wanted to stick up for herself but she knew it would be four against one she just stayed quiet and let the girls talk amongst themselves. She opened up her mouth but the words simply weren't coming out.
She barely acknowledged them and didn't want to give them the satisfaction and when she was done she left the bathroom and made up an excuse to leave. She was already humiliated at school and she wasn't about to go through any more abuse at a venue that wasn't her scene anyway. And as accomodating as the band was to her, they weren't her friends. Manny put her hand on her head and told the band, "Bad news guys I think I'm coming down with something, I feel pretty sick."
Marco knew she was bluffing, there was more to the story and so did Craig who was pretty crushed, "I have to go. I feel like a killer migraine coming on."
Manny wasn't even in the mood to go back to Emma's to be faced with Emma and Jay most likely sucking face. She just wanted to go back to Emma's and take a cold shower and get out of these clothes and into her jammies. "Why don't we get some air, I have time before the set and better yet I know Joey keeps Advil in the console," Craig told Manny kindly. The musician walked Manny to Joey's convertible and they sat in the front seats.
"For an actress, I hate to say it but that wasn't your best performance." Manny was humored and somewhat insulted at the comment but then he added with concern, Did something happen?"
"I got kind of hassled by three girls in the bathroom, they were so mean. Shooting me indirect insults. I wanted to just tell them to just shut up. Do you ever feel like everyone is laughing at you and you can't get them to shut up?"
"I'm sorry, Manny and to answer your question not that I know of? I know I've made an ass out of myself more often than I would like to admit if it makes you feel better."
"It's not your fault, you don't need to apologize."
"Neither was what happened to you, do you know who took and posted those pictures?" Manny shook her head and didn't say a word but felt the humiliation of being violated and exposed all over again, Craig read her energy and scoffed, "I'll kick their ass I mean it." Manny looked up at Craig was serious and then he sighed, "I want to apologize to you you didn't deserve what I said to you or how I treated you in the past."
Manny looked over at him and smiled softly hiding her tears. It was as if she was brought back to the year where everyone in school thought she was a slut for being with Craig while he was with Ashley. Fast forward to now look at them being friendly with one another. Craig even formally apologized for him calling her quote a big mistake endquote in the hall. She quietly admitted, "I wish I could put it all behind me."
"You will, it just takes time. You'll see."
"What if it never blows over? What if it ruins my life forever?" Manny was being dramatic but she sighed, "What if my gravestone will say Manny Santos 1989 and whatever year I die SLUT. Is that my legacy? I guess so."
"Not at all, Manny. If the group I go to has taught me anything the negative what-ifs will eat you alive." Craig told her honestly, "if you want you can come to check it out. You don't have to talk about anything the first meeting I know I just listened for a few sessions."
"But I'm not sure if I would qualify or if what happened to me would be too frivolous of a reason."
"Okay put it to you this way, if it's valid to you it's valid to everyone at the group. We're in together and whatever it takes we'll make it through. You don't always have to have something wrong like mental illness or a new diagnosis to go to the group. People go there for support first and in the support, they are better able to cope with anything in their way. It saved my life."
"Maybe I'll check it out, when and where do you meet?"
"Monday's after school at the rec center. I can give you a lift."
Manny and Craig paused in the empty lot hating the weird uncomfortable silence on her end she asked him, "I don't get it why are you being so nice to me?"
"You deserved better and I treated you not the best in the past. I just miss seeing you smile, I hate seeing you down in the dumps and feeling unworthy of good things, you deserve the world, Manny." She looked up at him, surprised he'd say something like that. He continued, "I believe in you. I know Emma does too."
Manny's lips formed a genuine smile. And just like that, the brief moment was interrupted. Marco opened up the back door and called out to Craig in the distance, "We got a five-minute warning! C'mon back! We're going on next." Marco shut the door and quickly retreated inside shutting the door behind him.
They both exited the car and stood outside the car. Craig gave her two advils and he had a water bottle in his car. It was hot but wasn't complaining.
"I have to go," Craig reached over and softly kissed her on the cheek in a friendly platonic sort of way, "I'm glad you came even if you got to go. I understand. I will see you around okay? I'm here for you if you need to talk or whatever just shoot me a message on aim."
Craig walked back to the building and Manny touched her cheek and lingered by the car for a few more moments. She put her hand down and she realized that maybe things will be different, a good different. Craig looked back at her and then he retreated into the building. Then, Manny walked home. She knew Craig wanted to have her and the band was sort of counting on her but she had enough of the place.
She walked home. On her way, there was an alleyway and inside she ran into a skeezy guy on the way to the show, he likely had pregamed and he smelt of liquor drunkenly he said, "Which way to the show?"
Manny uncomfortably acknowledged him and pointed backward thinking she was being helpful and friendly but polite and unassuming, "Behind me. I'm just leaving."
She broke eye contact and instantly he blocked her from leaving. "Hey, don't you go to Degrassi?" Manny didn't want to talk and advanced.
"Excuse me."
He paced around surveyed her as he walked around her she tensed up and got uncomfortable, "I'll tell you what you looked so hot at Prep Boys party, I'll let you pass if you let me see something."
"No way, you've seen the pictures, now if you'll excuse me I got to get home."
"No way," He crossed his arms. He snickered and grabbed her by the shirt covered her mouth and told her, "I just want a quick look-see and no one gets hurt. You hear me?"
She was scared at that moment, she knew she had to think past she nodded her head yes and tried to wiggle from his strong grip. She screamed through his fingers and bit down on his middle one and she screamed, "Stay away from me!"
She ran away she managed to see by a wall to catch her breath and she had managed to lose him. She took off her flip flops, gripped them, them so she could run faster and ran all the way home barefoot afraid to look behind her.
Manny arrived at Emma's scrambling for her keys in her shaking hands in her pocket, finally, she found them, let her self in and then caught her breath in the vestibule by the doorway.
Emma called from the basement as she heard the door shut, "Manny is that you?"
She couldn't answer at least not immediately as she avoided the basement knowing full well Emma and Jay were probably in the middle of something.
Emma got off of Jay who she was making out on her bed and threw Jay his clothes, "Just give me a few minutes." Emma threw back on her dress which was on the floor.
Emma saw Manny pacing, she looked visibly shaken up, "Manny, home early? Are you okay?"
"Emma oh my god, you were right I should've stayed home tonight."
"What happened?"
Manny swallowed hard just saying, "It was horrible."
"This guy almost hurt me but I got away," Manny flung her arms around her friend and just was hysterical crying, "He was aggressive so I ran off hoping he didn't follow me. I didn't look back to see."
Emma briefly broke away from the hug and checked out front in the big bay window, "Nope you're fine and you're safe here. Emma closed the shades for privacy. "I'm glad you're home." She passed Manny the box of tissues on the little table on the right side of the front door, "Here girl, we don't have to drink if you don't want to.
"The beer was nasty I'll take just about anything to take the edge off."
Emma changed the subject back to the subject, "What did he look like? Did he go to our school?"
Manny nodded, "I think I saw him around before. I didn't know him but he was also at Peter's party. He mentioned it when he wanted me to flash him."
"Oh my word, Manny." Emma sighed compassionately, "well how was the show? I hope you had a little fun."
"Eh, I don't want to talk about it."
"Craig and his friends were nice right?"
She nodded, "They were but the girls in the bathroom not so much. Tankini tramp was there being indirectly extra cruel. Emma, what am I gonna do? I never want to show my face around town ever again. Maybe I can get homeschooled."
"Nonsense Manny, we will get through this and whatever this is will blow over and I'm sure you'll reputation will recover."
"In what universe? I can't bounce back from this unless everyone collectively contracts sudden cases of amnesia."
"Unlikely. Maybe you can join clubs at school like say possibly drama club?"
"Who would cast a topless bimbo in their high school play? It'd be a complete conflict of interest. Raditch would never allow it."
"This kind of shit happens to people. What about Paris Hilton? Look at her she's thriving. People cast Pamela Anderson after her sex tape and she's doing good. Vanessa Williams may have got her title taken away but she has a promising career after her photos surfaced."
"Em I appreciate what you're saying but they're all celebrities and besides I'm not a knockout babe like them. I'm an amateur." Manny groaned, "now I got to aim lower and lower my standards and become a possible porn star. Even if I become successful they can resurface at any time."
Emma didn't know what to say but she did say, "I wish you'd stop beating yourself up, I know I'm one to talk. I know what it's like okay not exactly what it's like but what it's like to have everyone staring at you, okay? You can still be an actress."
"Em, it's very different. It's not like anyone has seen your tatas. Changing the subject she sighed, "Can I just say you're worrying me lately and not just about Jay. I want you to be around for years to come and earlier today you scared me. Last year you almost died I can't imagine going through all of this alone you're so much stronger than me. I see a light at the end of the tunnel, a silver lining in your life just not in mine. Thanks for being there for me. I know I don't say it enough."
Emma was hurt and yet oddly touched by what Manny stated, "I'll admit it was probably the hardest time but I made it, dealt with it in my way. You Manny, you will too. You'll do even more than simply deal and you'll survive."
Meanwhile, Jay waited around in Emma's room, he was dressed by now. He made himself a drink and paced around and admired some of the things in Emma's room. He noticed she had a little shoebox with a date written on it it was dusty and he didn't want to risk Emma walking down it read 3-6-2002 on it. He wondered what that date meant and he saw to the left of it an old photograph of Emma and Sean and some other photos with her and Manny and her and her mother when she was a toddler. A tinge of jealousy hit him like a ton of bricks when he brought his attention back to Sean's picture.
Seconds later Jay retreated to sitting on the bed reading Manny's Cosmopolitan magazine which he thought was Emma's. He read through the funnies and the sex tips and chuckled to himself.
Moments later, Emma and Manny came down and he looked up from the magazine, "Hi Manny," he greeted her calmly.
Manny walked over to him and took the magazine and put it on the bookshelf on top of the box, "Jay, I didn't take you for a cosmo reader,"
"Hey! I was reading that It's for research."
Emma and Manny exchanged looks and Emma joined Jay on the bed noticing that Jay had a full glass of something, "What are you drinking, babe?"
Manny sat on the butterfly chair over by the shelf across from the couple, "So what did you bring to drink?"
"Just a random concoction of my design. I think I put rum, a little vodka, mixed with some Hawaiian Punch."
Jay pulled out a cooler with random bottles of liquor and Emma told her, "Crap, the cups are upstairs."
Jay reached down by the cooler and gave Manny a cup, "Nope I brought 'em down. Help yourself."
Manny made a drink like Jay's but much less strong to take the edge off. She didn't want to confide in Jay about much of anything that happened that night and kept the conversation light.
They decided to play a game on Emma's shelf. Jay noticed she reached under the box he'd been thinking about and got LIFE as they crowded around sitting Emma's card table. They didn't get so far in the game and heard the doorbell ring, "Must be the pizza guy." Jay told Emma, "want me to go get it?"
Emma shook her head, "No, I got it. He sure got here fast. You two just hang out."
Jay gave her some money from his wallet, "Here's some cash for my share."
Emma took Jay's cash and was surprised to see Sean instead of the pizza guy. Emma was confused and somewhat annoyed, "Sean, what are you doing here?"