Chapter Twenty

Rose rested against my chest for a little while. "My mom is going to come by and do another ultrasound."

"What's an ultrasound?" Rose asked.

"It's a machine that allows you to see the baby," I explained.

"Wait," Rose put her hand on my forearm. "You can see the baby?"

I smiled and nodded. "And hear the heartbeat."

Rose's eyes widened. "Cool."

"Which also means that you can find out the gender while you're pregnant."

"Like, now?" She asked.

"Not this early. You're at eleven weeks. I think the earliest you can find out is eighteen."

"Oh," She rested against my chest. "I don't care about the gender. As long as it's healthy."

"As long as you're both healthy," I corrected.

There was a knock at the door, and my mom walked in. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she smiled. Something told me she was downplaying her pain.

"Any pain?" My mom asked.

"My stomach hurts, and I'm nauseous."

"You're going to be really nauseous for a while, probably too nauseous to eat. But we'll give you an I.V. so you can still get the proper nutrients," she explained. "And your stomach. It hurts on the left side?"

"Yes."

"That's where the baby was. Your left Fallopian tube." She pulled over the computer and showed us a diagram of what happened during the surgery. "Now, the baby is safely in your uterus. Some pain is normal, but if it gets a lot worse or you're bleeding, you have to tell someone. We're going to watch you like a hawk to make sure the Fallopian tube doesn't rupture. That's when things can get really dangerous."

"If the tube ruptures, what does that mean in terms of future pregnancies?" I asked.

"She'd still have another tube," she explained. "She'd be able to have another baby, even with just one tube."

"Okay," Rose nodded.

"So, I'm just going to do an ultrasound." My mom walked over to Rose. I moved out of the way and sat back down on the chair. I took her hand and held it tightly. "Just pick up your gown a little bit."

Rose picked it up, and my mother started squeezing some gel out onto Rose's belly. "This might be a little cold." She moved the wand around her belly. "Where are you?" I heard my mom whisper.

Rose's heart sank in fear, and I knew. I squeezed her hand and kissed it. She closed her eyes, unable to watch. All of a sudden, we heard a noise. It was a repeating beating noise. "Heartbeat," my mom smiled. She turned the screen to face Jack and I and pointed. "And there's your baby."

"You can see everything," Rose whispered. We were both looking at the screen. We could see the baby's face and tiny little arms and legs. Yet I couldn't feel the happiness and love that was clear on Rose's face. I felt anger, that the baby was making her so sick.

My mother wiped the gel off of Rose's belly and put away the machine. She picked up pictures of the ultrasound and handed us each a copy. "Here you go."

"Thanks," Rose smiled. Sue looked up at my mother. "What are the next few months going to look like?"

She sat on the bed and sighed. "You're going to have to be here for a few weeks, depending on if there are any complications. After that, you'll be able to go home, but you'll still be on bedrest. As you start to heal, you'll slowly be able to move around more, but not for a while."

"What's the worst case scenario?" Rose asked.

My mother shook her head. "You don't want to know."

I tried to suppress my emotions. I tried not to lose my cool, but it didn't work. "Tell her," I said, crossing my arms. "Tell her how dangerous this is. Tell her how she can still lose the baby, and she can die."

"Jack-" my mother began, but I interrupted her.

"No!" I shouted. "Rose, you can't do this. I can't lose you."

My mother slowly left the room. "You're not going to," Rose replied. "Everything's going to be okay."

"You don't know that," I shouted. "There are so many things that can go wrong."

"If the baby was born, you and I would do whatever we had to to save the baby. So why is this different?"

"I can't sit here and watch you be in pain and be sick for months," I shook my head. "I can't do it."

"What happened to 'just the three of us'?" Rose asked. "I know that everything's going to be okay. I can feel it."

"How can you be sure?" I asked. "How can you say that without a shadow of a doubt that everything will be okay?"

"It's worth the risk," Rose said. "Even if it costs me my life, this baby will at least have you."

"Rose," I began. "Do you think I could ever possibly love someone who put you in this much pain or took you away from me? I can't do it. I won't!"

She looked away from me. "I love you, but I'm not changing my mind," she said. "So you can either support me and stay here with me, or you can go. It's up to you."

I shook my head. "I need to think." I walked out and slammed the door behind me.

•••

I left the hospital, leaving Rose all alone. I hoped she knew that I had meant well and that what I said was said out of love. I really thought I was right, but what if I wasn't? If Rose had the abortion, I would always wonder if maybe we could've had that baby. But on the other hand, what if something happened to Rose? What if something happened to the baby? I would be all alone, feeling awful for letting her carry on with the pregnancy and possibly getting her pregnant.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and picked up the ultrasound picture. That was our baby. It was my job to protect the baby and keep it safe, and I wasn't doing my job.

I picked up my phone and called my mother. "Hello?"

"Mom, can you check on Rose for me?" I asked.

"Of course." My mom thought she hung up the phone, but she hadn't. I didn't hang up the phone; instead, I wanted to hear what my mom and Rose would say.

I heard her knock on the door. "Come in," Rose called.

"Hi Rose," my mother said. "Where did Jack go?"

"I don't know," Rose sighed. "He told me he needed to think."

"He'll be back. You know that, right?" I thought about what she said. I knew I had to go back, and I knew I would, but I just needed some time to think.

"I hope so," said Rose. "I need to know all of the risks of proceeding with this pregnancy."

I heard my mom sit down on the bed. "Well, the first thing is your Fallopian tube. We were able to save the tube, but if you keep bleeding or it ruptures, you'll need another surgery to have it removed, and that's a risky procedure. Aside from that, you could go into preterm labor, miscarry, and the baby could have birth defects. And if none of those things happen, you're still going to be in a lot of pain, you're going to be really sick, and it's going to be really hard for both of you."

"Wow," I heard Rose say. She sounded terrified, and my heat ached for her. "What do you think I should do?"

"It's not my choice, Rose," my mother said. "It's yours."

"I know you think I should have the abortion," Rose began. "You're more like a mother to me now than my mother ever was. I've never had a child before, but you have. So I have to ask, if you were pregnant with Jack or Gabby and someone told you that it was dangerous to have them, would you just give up?"

My mother sighed. "No, I wouldn't." She was right. She would've protected us, the same way Rose was protecting our baby. "You've made your choice, and it was a brave one. Jack will come around. You just have to try to take care of yourself… and my grandbaby." I thought about the little baby in the ultrasound and smiled. "I'll check on you in a bit."

"Thanks."

I hung up the phone and rushed back to the hospital to find Rose sitting in bed crying, her face covered by her hands. I felt awful for what I said. Rose was right about everything.

I wrapped my arms around her small trembling body. She looked up at me. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," he whispered. "You didn't deserve that."

"Just please don't leave me again," Rose cried. "I need you."

"Shhh, I'm here," I kissed the top of her head. "I promise, I'm here from now on."

We cuddled for a little while. I knew she was so glad that I had returned and promised to be with her. "I know that you were saying those things out of love. I know you weren't trying to hurt me."

"Of course not," I assured her. "And about what you said earlier, about the paternity, I was hurt that you would even think that."

"I know. I'm sorry." She held my hand. "I'm sorry I said that. I know we've been together for a while now, but I'm still not used to the idea that there are no ulterior motives. I really am sorry."

"Let's just put this behind us," I smiled, and she nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"Not good," Rose said quietly. "Pretty awful actually."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. I kissed the top of her head. "I wish I could take this pain away."

"It's okay," She closed her eyes and leaned against my chest. "How are we going to tell your parents that the baby might not be yours?"

"They already know," I told her.

She looked up. "What?"

"I didn't know if somehow it might become important during surgery or something," I explained. "I didn't want to leave any information out in case it would somehow hurt you or the baby."

"What did they say?" Rose asked.

"They understood," I smiled. "I explained what happened, and they understood. Besides, if it doesn't matter to me, it shouldn't matter to them."

She smiled and leaned against me, grabbing my hands and wrapping them around her. "I love you so much."

A/N: The poll is tied and I REALLY have no idea which gender to do for the baby. So that means that you (yes, I'm talking to you) can decide the gender right now by voting!