Victoire slept in the following day - after getting home, she'd ended up messaging both Fred and Gallagher, and she hadn't actually gotten to sleep until a little before 4.

Unfortunately, a night of sleep had not actually offered any clarity on what she felt about what had happened the night before. Talking to Gallagher afterward hadn't been weird - if anything, it had felt bizarrely normal, like nothing had changed at all.

Except, of course, that something had changed. Most notably, she'd realized when she woke up that she didn't really want this to be a one-time thing after all. Given her very rushed-but-still-clear "I don't want this to be a big thing" about 12 hours before and the hour spent talking to him about Teddy after she'd gotten home, she wasn't entirely sure how to backtrack on that.

Especially since she wasn't entirely sure what she did want.

On the other hand, based on what he'd said about the veela stuff, she was fairly certain that he wouldn't bring it up even if he wanted to, so she probably wasn't going to get an escape hatch into further makeouts.

After eating breakfast-that-was-really-lunch, Victoire sat down on her bed and did what she always did when she was confused: bother Fred.

'it's not technically against the rules'

(fred, vic)

12:42pm

vic: so
vic: we weren't joking about last night

fred: yeah, vic
fred: I figured that out

vic: we said it wasn't going to be a whole thing
vic: sort of, anyway

fred: yeah, vic
fred: I know

vic: but i'm not totally sure if i want it to just be a one-time thing

Fred didn't respond, and she was just starting to get annoyed when she heard footsteps on the stairs. When he knocked, she shoved her tablet away from her and called out, "Come in!"

Her cousin slipped inside and closed the door behind him. "Hey," he said. "I didn't think that this was the greatest conversation to have over messages." He settled onto the foot of her bed and crossed his legs. "Talk."

She hugged her knees to her chest. "I don't know. I don't even know what happened, we were just sitting in his room and he was teasing me, and suddenly it seemed like it would a good idea to kiss him, so I did, and then we said it wasn't going to be a thing - well, sort of - and - then - I don't know!"

She couldn't read the expression on her cousin's face; it seemed like he was thinking hard about something. When he finally opened his mouth, his tone was uncharacteristically gentle. "Vic, I need us to back way up, okay?"

It took a little while for him to drag the relevant information out of her, and when she got to a rough outline of what they'd done on Gallagher's bed, the surprise on his face was plain.

He stopped her when she started to bristle. "Vic, this is not me judging," he said. "You know the shit I get up to with Jules at school. I just didn't realize it had gone quite that far or that you'd both been pretty fucking sober for the whole thing, and that changes a lot of what I would have said."

"How?" she asked. Laying it all out had somehow left her feeling thoroughly miserable.

He sighed. "Humor me and answer a few questions, okay?" She nodded. "Do you regret it?" She shook her head quickly. "Yeah, it didn't sound like it, but I wanted to double check. Do you want to do it again?"

She nodded. Her face suddenly felt very hot.

"So what's stopping you?"

"Well, we said we didn't want it to become a whole thing, and -"

"Vic, unless you left something out, all I heard was a vague comment with absolutely no specifics. I really, really don't think that you can assume that he doesn't want to do it again from that." He studied her for a minute. "Is this just a physical thing, or is there other stuff mixed up in it, too?"

She felt her face start to get hot, and she looked away from him. "I don't know," she mumbled.

"Okay, then talk it out with me. Had you ever thought about kissing him before?"

She shook her head. This was not the kind of conversation she did very well with, but it seemed like it probably was a situation that she should get a better handle on, and at least Fred wouldn't judge her for falling apart over it.

"Then why did you kiss him last night?"

She sighed. "I don't know. He started teasing me and joking around, and I was laughing, and I just kind of realized how much I missed him while he was off - well -"

"Moping?" Fred supplied.

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. And then I realized that I kind of wanted to kiss him, so I did, and then one thing led to another."

He sighed. "I'm not trying to tell you how you feel, but that doesn't sound like one thing leading to another, it sounds like both of you making several really intentional choices. This wasn't just one impulsive decision, Vic - why did you keep going?"

She shrugged. After a few more attempts to figure out a straightforward answer that fell utterly flat, she said, "Well, what do you think?"

He groaned and looked up at the ceiling. "I hate it when you do this." She kept her chin on her knees and stared at him, and after a minute, he shook his head. "I might be totally off base, but - fuck, Vic, I don't know. It sounds to me like you have a crush on Gallagher and you didn't realize it because it's different than your crush on Teddy."

Something in her stomach twinged, which seemed like a sign of something she really had no idea how to deal with. "I don't feel nervous around him, though, really," she said desperately. "Like, I'm not worried about saying the wrong thing or impressing him."

Fred stretched his arms over his head and leaned back against her footboard. "Yeah, but Vic, crushes aren't all just nerves over saying the wrong thing or trying to impress someone. I mean, yeah, sometimes they are, but sometimes it's more about being drawn to someone or missing them more when they're not around, or doing more to help them, or finding more reasons to touch them, or the ways you tease each other -"

"What?" she asked when he abruptly stopped talking.

"I mean, am I off-base, or does that sound right?"

She started to chew on the inside of her cheek. "I mean - maybe that makes sense. Yeah."

As soon as she'd agreed with him, he groaned and covered his face with his hands. "I'm an idiot." After a moment, he looked up at her. His grimace made her laugh despite the mounting anxiety. "I'm missing all kinds of shit lately. Fucking fuck."

"But - I mean, like, he is my friend, so maybe -"

Her cousin cut her off. "Yeah, Vic, I know, but you are different with him than you are with Micah or Lexy, and he's a lot more flirty with you than anyone else - he definitely doesn't grab my foot when I kick him and then just forget to let go."

She looked down at her hands - now that she was thinking about it, many of the random little nudges and touches that felt perfectly natural with Gallagher were both completely unnecessary and something that she absolutely did not do with their other friends.

"I like that, though," she said finally. She was starting to feel like Fred really was probably right, and she wasn't sure how to feel about it. "But, I mean - he said he didn't feel that way, though."

Any hope she was misremembering or misinterpreting was immediately dashed. "Yeah," her cousin acknowledged. "I know. I just don't believe him. I don't think he's lying when he says it," he added quickly, seeing the skepticism on her face. "I just think he's wrong."

"He said he never thought about me like that before the banshee thing."

Her cousin's eyebrows shot up. "Wait - is that how he figured it out?"

"Apparently."

Fred seemed to find this enormously funny. When he finally stopped laughing, he said, "Okay, well, you apparently hadn't thought about it, either. Seriously, you're not stupid - what the fuck do you think is going on there?"

"Well, but he said -"

Fred cut her off. "Vic, you say things that aren't true all the time. It's usually not because you're lying, it's because you're deflecting something you don't want to think about because part of you knows that once you've actually processed it, you'll feel like you have to do something about it. People say things that aren't true all the time. It's not that weird." He shook his head. "Look, do you want to make out with Gallagher again?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Yes," she managed to get out after a minute.

He pushed the tablet toward her. "So message him and ask. I'd bet you a lot of galleons that he'll say yes, but it seems unsporting."

Her heart was in her throat as she picked her tablet up. She glanced up at Fred. "Can you - like -"

"Stay here while you try to arrange a hook up with one of our closest friends to keep you from having an anxiety attack afterward? Yes, though I do want to point out how funny it is that you'll befriend a fucking banshee but somehow this is terrifying."

That made her smile. "I just - I mean, I've never done this before, you know?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, well, neither has he, and if he was going to judge you for being awkward, it would have happened before now." He turned his attention to his own tablet. "Message him."

'hearts'
(gdedworth, vic)
2:33pm

vic: hey, are you around?

gdedworth: for a few - gill and dad are making a beer run before trivia
gdedworth: what's up?

vic: what are you up to later today?

gdedworth: i'm not sure

2:38pm

gdedworth: vic, not super sure how to ask this, but is that an 'i want to come hang out with you, my friend' question or an 'i want you to finger me again' question?

2:42pm

vic: can it be both?

gdedworth: yes
gdedworth: it definitely can be
gdedworth: damnit vic
gdedworth: these are not mental images i need in my head before i go upstairs for trivia with my fucking family

vic: oh good
vic: it's both

gdedworth: we might be doing something
gdedworth: they were tossing around a few ideas
gdedworth: ughhh. fuck.

vic: it's okay if you're busy
vic: really

gdedworth: i mean
gdedworth: now i'd really rather not be
gdedworth: let me go talk to them

Victoire looked up from her tablet.

"Let me guess," Fred said dryly. "He said no."

She wasn't sure whether the smile spreading across her face was because of his joke or because that had gone much, much less poorly than she'd feared. "He might be busy."

"If I read that, am I going to be horrified?" She shook her head and handed it over. The screen glowed as he looked down at it, and before she could worry about what Gallagher had added, Fred started to laugh and handed it back to her.

'hearts'
(gdedworth, vic)
2:55pm

gdedworth: hi to fred
gdedworth: i'm assuming he's there
gdedworth: you're usually not this good at planning

She felt a grin spreading across her face, too. "He's the worst."

"He's got you down, that's for sure."

Before she could say anything, she heard a knock on the door. "Yeah?" she called.

Her father stuck his head inside. "I thought I heard Fred's voice."

After a quick exchange with her father in which they promised to come downstairs in a few minutes and volunteered the information that they weren't planning anything illegal, her tablet glowed again.

'hearts'
(gdedworth, vic)
3:15pm

gdedworth: okay, vic
gdedworth: so actually a few things
gdedworth: got out of some of it
gdedworth: so i'll probably be home a little after 8

vic: thanks
vic: and yeah, fred is here

gdedworth: yeah
gdedworth: i wasn't actually joking about you and planning
gdedworth: and i have no idea why you're thanking me
gdedworth: it's not like i'm being altruistic

vic: good point
vic: you did seem to like having your fingers in me

gdedworth: what gave me away?
gdedworth: thought i was being subtle

vic: what are the other things?

gdedworth: well, i exaggerated the tension with lex and micah a little
gdedworth: so they think that you're kind of upset and need emotional support
gdedworth: also, no idea wtf goldstein is planning but i guess he's talking to finnigan
gdedworth: bc van already knew there was a banshee thing
gdedworth: just not that it was you

vic: wait what did he say?

gdedworth: not much
gdedworth: i've really got to go upstairs for trivia
gdedworth: i'll let you know when i'm home

vic: okay hearts

gdedworth: hearts

She looked up at Fred, who was leaning against the door. "Yeah," she said. "At, like, 8."

"Perfect. That's when I'm supposed to be at Micah's to try to connect his Muggle thing to his tablet - it'll look less weird if we both leave together." He snapped his fingers. "Hey - if I cover for you so you can go make out with G a few times, will you shut up about the thing in your dormitory?"