Chapter 19

It took a lot to get Laxus grounded, literally. Over the past week since finding out about Gajeel's disappearance, he'd wanted nothing but to bring the other dragon slayer home. His guild mates frequently held him back when he would just get up and nearly bolt out the door. Throughout the week the Raijinshuu had to stay at his place from time to time, just to make sure he would still be there in the morning. Laxus was a wreck, filled with guilt and shame that he could not save Gajeel.

As much as he knew the more time they wasted "planning" the more in danger Gajeel could be, the guild was correct in insisting they weren't ready to return to Spirit Park, nowhere near. Their magic was still significantly depleted, and Laxus couldn't feel any of it returning as time passed. He would go out into the woods-supervised-to train until his legs gave out. He could feel himself getting back to the way he was physically, but it was not enough.

He sat up in his bed at dawn one morning. All he'd been thinking about was Gajeel. He knew it wasn't rational to just think about him and only him and expect to make progress, but of course he couldn't keep his mind off the dragon slayer. Gajeel used to be more reserved, Laxus remembered. He'd always sat quietly in his space at the guild hall. Sure he'd been noisy, getting dragged into fights frequently and causing a ruckus himself every once in a while, but Laxus noticed a change in him since they'd started dating. Gajeel talked to him more. They would hide out in the back of the guild or outside of it just to have a conversation or sit in comfortable silence, Gajeel always leaning on Laxus' shoulder. He had a brighter, happier smile when he was around Laxus, and Laxus could say the same about himself.

Laxus showed up at the guild hall that afternoon with the Raijinshuu. He was visibly exhausted, bags under his eyes and a sluggish posture. The man slept poorly since their return from Spirit Park, and it made it difficult to listen to his grandfather speak.

"Listen up," Makarov began, "It's going to be incredibly difficult to fight this thing from the sounds of it, and many of our strongest mages still cannot use their magic at the moment...however one of our own is in grave danger, and potentially many others. While I recognize the dire need to rescue Gajeel as soon as possible, it simply won't be possible if we are not at our best. It's a short amount of time, but we will all be preparing to break into Spirit Park in three days, as a guild."

Makarov puts his fist in his palm. He opens his eyes to meet those of his grandson's. Laxus' exhaustion was evident, and the man sighed, relaxing his hands back to his side. He glanced around the rest of the guild. Natsu was his usual pumped up self. Erza had her arms crossed. Mirajane stood tall with her siblings. Wendy was so young and small yet filled to the brim with wit and bravery, Charle nodding, perched on her shoulder.

"Approximately three days from now, we'll storm the amusement park; half of us will stay above and fight those monsters lurking there. The other half will enter the catacombs below as the search and rescue team. We will have picked out who will be on that team when the day comes. In the meantime, to those of you whose magic has been drained, I want you to train, hard, but I also want you to rest. Your health will be incredibly crucial for this mission to be pulled off. Don't disregard that."

Laxus could tell the master was talking at him, and he frowned. Resting sounded impossible to the lightning dragon. He said nothing, of course, not wanting to start an argument that would only end in him getting pissed and leaving. So Makarov continued.

"I have faith in you all. I believe we can do this if we stick together...and of course, that means all of us."

The mages hear the old door swing open, and quickly turn to the entrance. Laxus' eyes widen as he's surprised to see the familiar old face. The man was unkempt and his facial hair was quite out of control. He grins at the other mages, moving his torn cloak and pushing ginger strands from his face.

"Ah," Gildarts says, "Right on cue?"

"Gildarts!" Many of them cheer, welcoming the man home. Natsu was first to jump at him for a hug, and he would quickly be followed by other guild mates. Laxus just stared at them.

He was thankful Gildarts was there, they truly needed all the help they could get...but he couldn't feel any real relief or happiness. Exhaling, he moved to a different spot of the guild while no one was watching him. Laxus found himself sitting on the couch in the lounge with the lights off, head in his hands.

He couldn't think straight. No one had an actual plan, of course, they've never really had a plan that wasn't barging in and forcing themselves through to their goal. They'd done the same thing in literal wars, so he couldn't be surprised. Still something felt very off. Not just their "plan" or his own unpreparedness, something deep in his mind was telling him that this would not be as simple as what he was used to. This was not going to be your average "fight the bad guys until its over" battle. This was going to hurt worse than it ever has before.

Laxus was wasting time, he'd been sitting there for over an hour and the commotion had ceased quicker than expected. He needed to keep at it and train until he could feel his magic as he usually could. Leaving the lounge, he found that the usual mages were no longer present. Off to recover their own magic, no less. He walked out of the guild without being spotted, or so he thought until he was stopped just before walking off the property.

"I meant what I said, Laxus."

The old voice made Laxus click his tongue before turning around and facing his grandfather at the door of the guild hall.

"You are extremely tired," He continued, "You've been at it for days, longer and harder than most of us, and you've gone nights without sleep according to Freed. We're all worried about you."

"...What for?" Laxus crossed his arms, "Since when do you have to worry about me?"

"We worry about you all the time, boy," Makarov raised his voice slightly, "You have given us quite the scare with how far you've been willing to push yourself in the past."

Laxus pursed his lips, "That doesn't matter, old man, I'd give my life for this damn guild."

"And that's exactly what we don't want, Laxus," he says with a long exhale, "You know we don't die for our loved ones here, that just isn't what we do; we live for them. We wake up the next day for them. I absolutely refuse to trade the life of one mage for another when I can have them both return home…!" He paused for a moment, looking at the much taller man with a clenched fist. "I cannot stop you from overexerting yourself but I can tell you this; if you only train nonstop and get no sleep in between, you will not be able to rescue Gajeel and come home yourself. I don't mean this to be condescending, it's simply the truth. So rest, Laxus."

He wasn't sure what to say, so he said nothing and walked off. Makarov expected that from the stoic man, naturally, it was nothing new. But his words lingered in Laxus' mind. Laxus would die for Gajeel. He was already willing to trade his own life if it meant Gajeel could come back home. But...how would he feel if it also meant they could no longer be together?

Laxus wanted to wake up beside Gajeel again. He wanted to kiss his forehead and make him breakfast and kiss him again. He missed how soft Gajeel's hair was, how much he talked about his favorite songs, his flustered face whenever Laxus complimented him and showered him with affection. He remembered their first moments being so gentle. They hid in the woods, watching the sun set with their hands interwoven. Gajeel liked putting his hands in Laxus'; he always said they were much warmer than his own.

Gajeel didn't want to be alone again. He couldn't do that to him.

The Sempervivum was an expensive choice he knew Gajeel wouldn't let him pay for it on his own if he suggested it first hand, but Laxus insisted they meet there. He'd be upset, especially because Laxus offered to pay for their meals, and Gajeel was certain he wouldn't be able to return the favor if it was something costly. Still, he wanted the best for their first date.

Thankfully, the expected attire wasn't too formal, as he knew Gajeel wasn't a very formal person. He stood outside the restaurant in a coat-not the same one usually hanging off his back, but a nicer brown duffle coat and a dark red scarf. It was cold out, as it was the beginning of winter. In fact, it just started snowing when Gajeel finally arrived, dressed in a black leather jacket, gray gloves and an undone green scarf of his own.

"Hey," he gasped, catching his breath after running across the street, certain he was late, "Is this the-aw what? Dammit-I told you nothing too expensive!"

"I told you I could pay for it," Laxus chuckled, "I've eaten here plenty of times, so I trust the food." He turned to open the glass door before them, motioning for Gajeel to follow.

The inside was just as one would expect from a restaurant like this. There was a chandelier at the center of the ceiling with smaller lights surrounding it, emitting a light not so bright but not incredibly dim. The tables were bright wood, each with nice silverware and a candle. Gajeel had to resist rolling his eyes, sure Laxus had to have picked this place for a reason. The host stood at the counter, and as he looked up at Laxus he smiled warmly.

"Ah, Laxus Dreyar, of course, we've been expecting you," he greets with a friendly tone, "Please, we have your table-for-two ready for you."

A woman bows at the two and leads them to their booth. As they followed her, Gajeel shot the other man a glare and Laxus only mouthed "Trust me." Their seat was further away from the other guests and by a wall, secluded. They sat, and the server handed them their menus.

"Reserved seats? You're fucking crazy," Gajeel said with a low voice while removing his jacket.

"Yeah yeah, 'm not waiting longer than I have to t' eat," Laxus replied as he removed his own coat, "This place is the best in town, though; not just food that looks fancy, promise."

"Sure," Gajeel looked at his menu. His eyes gravitated towards the steak section and he could feel his mouth begin to water. He'd waited all day to eat...He peeked up from his menu and met Laxus' eyes and immediately blushed. Laxus snorted, raising his eyebrows at him.

"Nervous?"

"Shut up."

They chatted. Just about things, from the guild to friends to personal lives and interests. At one point, Gajeel was rambling on about music. His favorite bands, concerts he wanted to go to, albums he collected, and Laxus was listening to every word he said. At some point, Gajeel paused as he glanced away from Laxus for a moment. He frowned. Laxus looked over as well. There were some people, a bit far from them, but close enough to see them. They were whispering. About them. Gajeel put his arms in his lap and clammed his mouth shut and Laxus stared daggers at the couples until they realized he knew they were talking about them.

"Food should be here soon," Laxus spoke, "...Are you okay?"

"Mmm…" Gajeel barely responded. He was staring at the wall. Laxus rested a hand on the table, reaching for the other dragon slayer.

"I don't give a shit what everyone else here thinks," He said, "I'm here to enjoy my time with you and that's all that matters right now. Okay?"

Gajeel looked at Laxus' hand as it opened. Calloused, plenty of battle scars. Pretty hairy, not too much or too thin. Welcoming. He sighed, taking that hand in his own, squeezing it, relieved. Laxus was genuine about what he'd said just then. And he was right. This was their time to spend together. They were both in the closet, and not even Pantherlily knew of their relationship. Still they would at least try to make the most out of tonight. It was a date after all.

It felt short, but the two were out until near midnight. Laxus was right about the food; it was delicious. The bill, still, came up to over 30,000 jewel, and the guilt over the price nearly ruined the night if it weren't for Laxus insisting it wasn't over. They went for a walk out in the winter snow. The town was quiet that evening, the only sounds the two could really hear were their own footsteps crunching against the thin blanket of snow below them.

They were just talking, laughing, and eventually they would enjoy the quiet snowfall on a bridge where they would part ways soon. Gajeel had to get home before Pantherlily would worry-although Gajeel figured Lily wouldn't worry so much, it was him worried that the exceed would worry, and he'd have to explain where he'd gone for so long. Laxus wanted to walk Gajeel to his apartment, but Gajeel wouldn't let him. The two stood at the bridge, watching the snow begin to freeze the river.

"I...had fun."

"Did you?" Laxus perked up, tilting his head at the smaller man.

"Mhmm," Gajeel hummed, "I think...I wanna do this again."

Gajeel looked up at him, and Laxus was honestly surprised. He assumed Gajeel wouldn't be as open about going out again so quickly. He smiled.

"Sure," he said, "Maybe you decide where we go?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "But I'm paying this time."

"Sure, sure."

Gajeel bit his lip. He didn't want this to end. This was probably the closest and most intimate he'd been with a person and it felt incredible. He wanted this warm feeling to last forever. He slipped his hands into Laxus, deep red irises staring into dark blue. Their lips grazed each other, and then the kiss slowly deepened. Gajeel could feel his body burning in contrast with the cold weather around them. They held each other's hands tightly, neither really wanting to let go. After a moment, however, Gajeel broke the kiss, silently insisting he needed to head home.

"I'll see you at the guild?" Laxus asked.

"Uh huh."