Authors note - So I afraid that this is the last proper chapter. I hope everyone has enjoyed this story and I want to thank everyone who has reviews, followed and favourited it. Your comments have all been so nice and supportive and I am glad you liked it. I will be posting an epilogue as well in the next few days just to finish off the story so hope you enjoy. Thanks again.

Chapter 18 - Moving on

"I booked an appointment at the hospital" Donna spoke to Harvey. She didn't want to avoid it any longer

"Okay" he gave her a small smile "that's good" he added

"Will you come with me?"

"Just try and stop me" he held her hand

"thanks" Donna smiled

They walked up to the entrance and Donna paused at the automatic doors. She turned to Harvey who gave her an encouraging smile and they walked across the boundary together. It felt weird being there knowing she wouldn't bump into Anna, but it wasn't as bad as Donna was expecting. She missed her terribly but smiled at the memories that came to her. Anna would have wanted her to be happy and she was going to do just that.

Harvey and Donna sat in the Doctors office, listening to his explain the procedure. This doctor was new, he had been recommended to them by Donnas oncologist who stated he was the best plastic surgeon on the east coast. He looked young, younger than most doctors, but he was confident and intelligent. You could tell her knew what he was doing and although was not great at dumbing down the medical terms, Donna didn't mind. She found comfort in the fact that he was clearly very knowledgeable.

"So, what kind of reconstruction were you hoping for?" the doctor asked "we have a few different implants we can offer you in order to get your desired look"

"I want them the same as before" Donna stated. She had been comfortable with her body her whole life; she wouldn't want to change it.

"Okay, so these are silicone implants" the doctor pulled out two different implants out of his draw "they have a more natural feel than the saline implants and come in two different shapes as you can see. We have this teardrop shape or this more rounded shape" the doctor held out the two implants to Donna and Harvey.

Donna was feeling a little uncomfortable discussing this as she imagined Harvey was too but the way the doctor spoke like it was the most normal thing in the world put her somewhat at ease. She still was unsure though, it was hard to imagine what the implants would actually end up looking like, especially since the ones held in front of her were much larger than her breasts.

Donna looked over to Harvey awkwardly before turning her attention back to the implants "Can I feel them?" she asked the doctor

"Of course," he said encouragingly placing the two implants in her hand

She felt the weight of them, and they felt strange. The consistency was like those of real breast but the implants being a cloudy white colour meant it was hard to imagine what they would look like.

"So" the doctor continued "The teardrop shape is generally a little bit more natural, but the rounded ones tend to sit higher on your chest which some women prefer"

Donna nodded and looked back at Harvey "Do you?" she said offering the implants to Harvey

"No, that's okay" Harvey smiled "This is your decision" It's not that Harvey didn't care its that he wanted her to choose the ones she wanted. This surgery was for her, not him, Harvey thought she was perfect no matter what.

"I think I like the teardrop," Donna said squeezing it a little in her hand before giving both implants back to the doctor

"Okay" the doctor put them back in his draw "So what we can do it create a virtual image of what the end result would be and that's where we can decide on the placement and size and if at any point you want to change something just let me know"

They spend the remainder of the appointment looking at the computer until they had come up with a plan. Donna had opted for the closed thing to what she had before. Due to her treatments, the whole process was going to be a little longer for Donna as they needed to stretch the skin before the implant can be inserted.

She would have to, therefore, have two surgeries, the first would involve inserting an expander which the doctor will periodically fill saline over a few weeks and the second to then insert the final implant. The recovery time for reconstruction is about 8 weeks meaning the whole thing would take around 3 months. Donna hadn't realised that it took this long but it didn't matter, it would be worth it in the end.

They arrived home and went to go sit on the couch. Today had been a weird day for them both. If you had told them a couple of years ago, they would both be sat in a room talking about Donna's breasts for two hours they would have never believed it but there they were.

"Harvey what are you thinking?" Donna asked. He had been quiet throughout the whole appointment. Whenever Donna asked him advice or a question, he would simply say it was up to her, that it didn't matter to him, that she was the one to make the decision. Donna knew why he was doing it, but she wanted his opinion, his input. After all, he was the one who would be seeing them and touching them.

"Nothing" Harvey lied. The truth was he just didn't know what to say, what he was allowed an opinion on. At the end of the day, this was for Donna, to make her happy and comfortable and all he wanted was her to feel confident.

"Come on. You've barely said anything since we walked into the hospital"

"I know. It's just…" Harvey couldn't find the words.

"Harvey just tell me what you are thinking?" Donna sighed. She couldn't bear silent Harvey for too much longer

"I'm not sure. I guess I just want to make sure that you are certain about all this"

"What do you mean?"

"When the doctor started talking about the procedures and all the things that could potentially go wrong I just…" Harvey took hold of Donna's hand "I just need to know that this is what you want. That you're not doing it for me or anyone else"

Donna smiled. Harvey could actually be really sweet sometimes. He was worried about her. That's all this was about. "Harvey, this is about me. This is about me feeling proud of myself and loving my body and having the confidence that I had before"

"Well I am proud of you, love your body and have confidence in you whether you go through with it or not"

"I know," Donna smiled and kissed him gently, "and that is one of the reasons I love you"

"I love you too" Harvey kissed her again.

There was something Harvey had been wanting to bring up since they got back from the hospital but didn't know how. He didn't want to upset her but and he didn't know whether she would be happy or sad about it. He had been thinking about it for a while and was waiting for the right moment.

They pulled apart and Donna noticed Harvey's nervousness like there was a dilemma happening behind his eyes "What's on your mind, Harvey?"

"Um, I need to talk to you about something"

"Okay…?" Donna couldn't tell if this was good or bad news but hoped for good. She wasn't sure if she could handle anything bad, she had experienced enough bad news for a lifetime.

"I kind of did something ages ago" He looked into her eyes "You know when I went to the grocery store and you asked me where I had really gone and I said I would tell you another time"

"Yeah, you finally going to tell me where you went?" Donna was intrigued

Harvey didn't answer but simply walked out the room and returned less than a minute later with a clothes bag in this arms "I went to get this" he handed the bag to Donna "I just thought that maybe you would want it but if you don't I can get rid of it"

Donna unzipped the bag to reveal the strapless black dress with the burgundy flowers that she had admired the day they got engaged. She couldn't believe that he had gone back for it. She remembers how sad she had felt at the time that she wouldn't be able to wear it but now she could.

"Look I get it if you don't want it but I just thought with the surgery and everything you will soon be able to wear it" Harvey didn't want to bring back any sad memories for her but the dress was stunning and she had loved it so much that Harvey thought she deserved the chance to wear it. Since her reconstruction was now finally happening, that maybe now was the right time to give it to her.

"Harvey" She beamed up at him causing him to finally relax "I can't believe you went back for it. I love this dress" she ran her hands along with the soft fabric

"You will look amazing in it" he smiled

"Thank you," she said sincerely "I can't believe you did this," her eyes started to water

"Donna I just want you to have everything you could ever want"

"I do Harvey" Donna pulled him towards her and kissed him passionately. "I have everything"

After the first procedure was completed for her reconstructive surgery Donna felt a little strange. There were tubes and weird bumps on her chest where the balloons had been placed and it made her feel self-conscious. She knew that when she was dressed and wore a bra over the top that no one could see but she knew it was there and it was weird.

She also knew that in 6 weeks that she wouldn't have to worry about it and she would be having the actual reconstructive surgery but that didn't do much to comfort her. She was kind of dreading it. When she had her mastectomy, she hated every minute of it. For the no food the day before, two long days in the hospital and the pain that radiated across her chest. Of course, she knew that the reconstruction wouldn't be the same. This time it was fixing the damage that the mastectomy had done but she still wasn't excited for it.

She was excited about what came after. Her last ever surgery, well she hoped anyway. The return of her body just the way it was before. Being able to put cancer out of her mind and starting her life with the man she loved. She couldn't wait for her life to begin again.

One thing Donna had noticed was her hair was growing back. It had been almost three months since the chemo ended and her hair was now forming what would be described as a pixie cut. She still wore her scarf a lot of the time but was starting to embrace the new hairstyle a little more. One thing she did notice was her hair was growing back thicker and a little wavier than it was before.

Harvey quite liked the new hairstyle. It was strange being able to run his hands through Donna's hair again. He thought the short hair suited her, even if she didn't like it. Then again Harvey thought Donna would look good in any hairstyle. One of the reasons Donna never trusted Harvey when he said he liked it

"You would like anything" She would always reply when he complimented her.

After what seemed like forever, the doctor was finally happy with the tissue expansion and told Donna that she could have her reconstruction. It had taken a month longer than they had expected due to her skin being affected by her radiation treatments, but the doctor had finally given them the green light

"Donna you ready" Harvey called from the kitchen where he had made a coffee for himself to take to the hospital. Donna, unfortunately, had been told to stick to clear liquids and was not happy about it

"Yeah almost," She said placing her toiletry bag into the duffle she had packed. They had both been rushing around all morning getting ready for Donna's surgery. They had been so busy at work they hadn't even found the time to pack Donna's bag. She would likely be in the hospital for at least two days and then was told to wait two weeks before returning to work. So, she was packing everything she could think of to keep her entertained. She had even put a few work files in her bag when Harvey wasn't looking

Donna heaved the bag, now contained three different books, onto the couch with an "I'm ready" and Harvey walked over to pick it up.

"Oh my god Donna what have you put in here" Harvey exclaimed not expecting the bag to be that heavy

"Well, I didn't know what book I would be in the mood to read" she smiled defensively. Harvey responded with an eye roll and they both made their way downstairs where Ray was waiting for them.

"Miss Donna, how are you feeling today?" Ray asked politely

"Not too bad Ray, thanks" Donna smiled at the driver and climbed into the car

"How come he always asks you how you are and never me?" Harvey fake pouted once they were both in the car

"Because he liked me more" Donna replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world

"Who doesn't" Harvey agreed

"Could also be the cancer thing though?" Donna added

"Nah, it's more likely the first thing" Harvey defended giving her a quick peck on the lips as the driver pulled off.

They arrived at the hospital and once again Donna was shown to a room. It was a little like Deja Vu, in fact, she was sure this is the exact room where she was last time, but it was hard to tell. All the rooms look the same in this hospital. She placed her stuff down, got changed into the hideous hospital gown and got comfortable in the bed

"You feeling okay?" Harvey asked sitting down next to the bed and grasping her hand in his.

"Yeah, just want it to be over with" Donna weakly smiled at Harvey

"Yeah, same" Harvey kissed Donna's hand

The doctor came in about 10 minutes later to go over the procedure and explain everything for the tenth time. She signed a few forms and soon the porters had arrived to take Donna into the surgery. They were wheeling the bed through the corridor, Harvey still holding on to Donna's hand.

"Wait," Donna said before they passed through the double doors to where the operating rooms were located. She wanted to talk to Harvey, and she knew that's where he had to stop. "Harvey" she called him "I'm doing the right thing yeah". They had talked about this a lot. Gone over it all a million times before but now it was actually happening she was doubting herself. What happens if something went wrong. Before the surgery had been needed, it was surgery or die of cancer, but this was different. She didn't need to have this done.

"Donna, you're doing the right thing" He reassured her. Harvey knew this is what she truly wanted, and this was all coming from a place of fear.

"Okay," she let out a breath. All she needed to hear was that this wasn't a mistake. That she wasn't screwing up by going through with it

"You will be fine, and I will be here waiting for you when you wake up" Harvey kissed her and then she was wheeled away by the porters. Harvey stood watching until he couldn't see her anymore and went to go sit in the waiting room. He had made the doctors promise to find him the second it was finished. He was told the procedure could take up to 5 hours and it was the longest 5 hours of his life.

Harvey hated not knowing what was happening, not knowing if she was okay. Not being able to see her or hold her hand. He never dealt well when she was in surgery and he didn't think he would ever get used to it. The clock always moved at a painfully slow rate and he couldn't help but focus on the people of came and went in the time he was sat there.

"Mr Specter" The surgeon approached, startling Harvey a little who had been staring blanking off into the distance "Donna is out of surgery, everything went really well, and she is in recovery"

"Oh, thank god" Harvey let out a breath. "Can I see her?"

"Of course, she is in her room follow me" and with that, both the doctor and Harvey left the waiting room.

She was once again hooked up to all sorts of monitors with a steady beeping filling the room. Harvey hated how frail she looked after surgery; it didn't suit her. The doctor made a note of her vitals and soon left Harvey alone in the room with her. Donna was still asleep but was likely to wake up soon, so Harvey took and seat, moved her hair from her forehead and held her hand.

Soon Harvey noticed Donna's eyes start to flutter open and leaned into her "welcome back" he whispered as she orientated herself

"Harvey" she smiled as her eyes focused on him

"Hey" He kissed her lightly on the lips "Everything went well"

Donna didn't say anything but smiled at this news. She had been worried that something would go wrong, she didn't have the best track record.

"Harvey" Donna caught his attention once more "No more surgery okay"

"Sounds good to me" he chuckled slightly, his eyes watering just a little bit as all the worry and stress left his body and was replaced with relief.

Donna was in the hospital for two days, with Harvey there the majority of that time. He had left just a couple of times to get food and sort something out at work, but Donna didn't mind. She was tired and would usually just sleep when he wasn't there. When they left the hospital, Donna said goodbye to the building, and it made Harvey laugh. They both knew they would be back for check-ups and scans but hopefully never anything else.

Over the next two weeks at home, Donna was seriously starting to get bored. She was told not to move too much and so spent the majority of her time either in bed or on the couch. Harvey was being a little overprotective, not even letting her get her own food but she didn't mind too much. She had had multiple visits from people at the firm, Rachel had come a few times and so had Mike with Louis visiting once as well. She had thought about Anna a fair bit over those two weeks. She knew that she would have visited too, and they would have made jokes about how protective Harvey was and laughed about how Louis had freaked out when Donna had almost rolled off the couch reaching for the tv remote. But Donna didn't let it make her sad, she would just smile at the thoughts and focus on something else for a while.

Harvey had been working but came home at least twice during the day to check on her. He would usually bring her a bagel or something for lunch and they would eat together until he had to return. Donna, despite Harvey's objections, had been doing a little work from home. Mainly just updating his calendar and organising things on the phone and it kept her distracted.

The days were long when she had nothing to do. She had started to run out of good things to watch on Netflix and couldn't bring herself to put on anything that was a Netflix Original. She was so glad when the doctor had said she was healing nicely and could probably return to work, providing she didn't do any heavy lifting. She still had another month before she was back to normal but being able to work again was something.

Her recovery went well, she followed all the doctor's advice and today the bandages were all coming off. To say she was excited was an understatement. She would finally be able to properly see what they looked like, without any swelling or angry red marks. She would always have scars, but she didn't care.

Her and Harvey had returned home with the all-clear from the doctor and Donna had decided to take a bath. She stood in the bathroom and for the first time since the surgery stood naked in front of the mirror. It wasn't the exact body she had before, but it was pretty damn close. She didn't even mind the scars it was like they were a reminder that she had been through a battle but come out the other end. She stood there for a minute just tracing her body with her hands, taking it all in.

Assuming she was in the bath already, Harvey walked in to grab his comb so he could go back to work. But when he walked in Donna wasn't in the bath but stood, butt naked in the middle of the room. Harvey too hadn't seen her new body but had been waiting for Donna to give him the okay.

"Sorry" Harvey muttered not knowing if he should look away or not. He stared down at his feet but noticed Donna made to attempt to cover up.

"It's okay," she said quietly moving towards him and lifting his chin, so their eyes met. Harvey gazed into her eyes and allowed his hands to rest on her waist "What do you think?" Donna asked.

Harvey had barely even seen anything, still looking into her eyes when he responded "perfect" and gave her a kiss

"Harvey you didn't even look" she protested

"I don't need to," Harvey said moving his hands over her curved "You're always perfect"