Chapter 16
Nothing untoward had happened during for the rest of the day and the night. Nate had excused himself and settled himself in under the tree and by sundown he was sleeping. The rest had watched him and then talked among themselves trying to decide how they were going to broach the subject once they were out of the forest and back safe in the hotel. The debated what they were going to do if Nate decided to up and leave again and what they were going to say to him.
The next morning Eliot was radioed by the chopper pilot to say pickup would be about mid-morning and they should be ready. They packed up their camp and then all sat around the fire, all that is except Nate who remained in his position under the tree. Nate did not know what to say to them and he was not ready for confrontation so thought it was best to avoid them. Sophie thought maybe it was best he stayed there too as she did not want any confrontations just then either.
At about 10:30 they heard the chopper approaching and they all got ready, retreating into the forest to give the pilot room to manoeuvre without them being in the way. Then they all piled into the chopper and it set off back to the little town where their hotel was situated. Silence reigned aboard the chopper. An uncomfortable silence, like the one that heralds a very big storm.
On arrival at the airfield Hardison went and fetched their rental van and they once again all piled in and the short drive to the hotel was made once again in silence. Arriving at the hotel they dispersed to their rooms all wanting to clean up and get refreshed after their long stay in the bush. Nate took a room and retreated to it immediately.
By early evening Nate had still not emerged from his room and the rest of the Leverage crew had gathered in Sophie's room to discuss what came next.
"You sure he is still in the room, right?" Eliot asked Hardison.
"Yeah. There ain't nowhere to go anyway." Hardison confirmed. Nate could not run away from them here.
"Ok Sophie so now what?" Eliot asked and all eyes turned to the Grifter.
"Let's discuss it at dinner I am starving and looking forward to something not out of a tin." Sophie said not sure how exactly she was going to answer the question, she herself was trying to figure out how to approach Nate.
"Ok well let's go then, I can eat a horse." Hardison agreed opening the door and leading the crew out. They stopped in front of Nate's door and Sophie knocked softly.
"Nate." She called out. "Nate we are going to get something to eat want to join us?"
There was no reply. Eliot's brows knotted the thought that Nate was maybe not in the room and had gone again crossing his and all their minds. He turned the handle and the door opened.
"Nate." He called out entering the room. Parker pushed passed him and surveyed the empty room. "Hardison I thought you said…" Eliot started to say as he turned towards the Hacker and then stopped when he saw Nate standing in the doorway holding a new bottle of whiskey in his hand.
"Do come in." He said walking in and sitting down on the bed. Then he opened the bottle and took a glass to pour himself some. "Let's get this over with." He said softly downing his first glass before pouring another one for himself.
"We were just going to get something to eat." Sophie informed him turning to go. She was not ready for this confrontation, not yet.
"No Sophie, say what you have to say." Nate said stopping her in her tracks. She turned to face him her eyes burning into his.
"How could you Nate?"
"How could I what Sophie? Leave?" He asked taking another drink. "I thought I had made myself clear in the letters and at the, Sam's grave." He continued not taking his eyes of the woman.
"And if that man had not come looking for you at the pub?" She asked a little off topic, but he had left and then nearly gotten himself killed and she was angry.
"Then I either would have found my way out or died." Nate said matter-of-factly.
"You said you loved me. You said you loved us. You said we were family. Well let me tell you Nate people who love other people do not behave like you did. People who love their families do not behave like you did." She said vehemently.
"Yeah man. Who gave you the right to say all those things and then to just disappear? Do you know what that did to us?" Eliot continued.
"Nate, I thought you cared about us, about me." Parker said and that broke his heart.
"Yeah man Nate it ain't right what you did." Hardison added.
"Ok." Nate said taking a deep breath then downed half his glass of whiskey. "Ok."
They all waited, Nate was getting ready to say something and they wanted to see how he was going to get out of this. If he was going to still want to leave, if he was going to want to stay, and if he wanted to stay what he was going to say to make them want him to stay. They knew they wanted him to stay but wanted him to make it clear why they should want him to stay. All of them were a little worried that he was not going to stay and if so how they were going to make him stay, or were they going to let him go?
Nate closed his eyes and then stood up and walked to the window a little way away from the group who stood watching him intently.
"First. I am sorry." He said softly. "I am truly sorry." He repeated. Sophie stepped forward but Nate held his hand up to stop her. He wanted to say what he needed to say and then they could have their say.
"Look guys, I don't know how to say this." He started clearly struggling for the words he wanted to say.
"You want to stay." Parker said staring intently at the man. That is what he wanted to say, and she was not going to make it hard for him. He had made a mistake and that was alright, but he was back, and he was going to stay. "That's fine you can stay." The rest of the group turned to Parker but none of them said anything to contradict her.
Nate looked at the little Thief and tilted his head to the side a little. She was willing to forgive him right there and then for what he had done and welcome him back with open arms, and by the reaction of the rest they were too, of course depending on his apology. That made what he was about to do even more difficult.
"No Parker." Nate said softly shocking them all. They all just stared at him not sure how to respond. "Parker don't you see?"
"See what Nate?" Sophie said her anger building. "We put our lives on hold to come and get you. We were out there in a dangerous place to…" She stopped mid-sentence looking at Nate and realising what she was saying.
Nate raised his eyebrows at her and then swept his eyes over the rest of them.
"Point made." He said downing the rest of his drink. "I am bad news guys. I will put you in danger and I will cost one of you your lives. I…" He took a deep breath before continuing. "I cannot have a family you must see that. My family dies. I won't be responsible for any one of you dying."
"That's bullshit." Eliot blurted out.
"Eliot."
"No." Eliot said sotto voice. "Now you are going to listen to me Nate."
Nate looked at the Hitter and then held his glass up and motioned for him to continue.
"You think you are going to get us killed. Nate the jobs you have pulled off, hell man if anybody else tried them we would all be dead already. But we ain't and that is because you make sure we don't. You make it work Nate. We are good. We could do this without you but this ain't our bailiwick. We are criminals. We know how to look after ourselves and are still learning to look after others. And don't think I didn't notice your grandstanding. You ain't taking the credit. You are putting the target on your back. That is what you do, you protect us. So sometimes we will get hurt. We all know the risks and are willing to take them. This is your crusade Nate and we are on it with you. If you leave, we ain't going to stop. We will still be taking those risks and still be putting ourselves in danger, but it will be worse because you won't be there to make sure you have the backups to the backups to ensure that we remain safe." Eliot continued. He had to make the man see that him being there was better for them than him not. "But I ain't begging Nate. I lost family before, I had family walk away before. I just thought you were different."
Silence followed Eliot's speech. Nate was taken aback, not by anything Eliot had said until the last sentence. He was ashamed. He was thoroughly ashamed of himself. The rest just looked at Eliot. He had followed through on their original plan. Make Nate see they were safer with him that without him. Parker smiled to herself, which was her plan, just tell him.
"What he said." Hardison said softly. He could add nothing to what Eliot had said. Parker looked at the Hacker and then at Nate and nodded her agreement with Eliot's words.
"You know what Elliot you are right." Nate said suddenly taking everybody aback. "You are right. I am not different. I will only hurt you all and by that logic it is better that I leave now before I do any damage. Don't try to stop me, don't follow me, don't try to get me back. You guys are great. You are the best people I know. You are superb at your job. All of you. Sophie, you have been my rock, you mean so much more to me that I could ever say. Parker, Hardison, Eliot you guys are, you are the best of the best. Now you have helped me. You have. I don't know where I would be without having met you guys without us having teamed up and, well become this little dysfunctional family. After all those years of chasing you all you were always better than me. I was the good guy but you were true to yourselves. You are my family and sometimes family has to do what is right for their family and this is what is right for you. Eliot you are wrong in one way. I get out of control. I do and you know it. I get caught up in the con. It was fine when you were my team. It was fine when we were using each other. But that is not what we are anymore. Parker I do care and that is the problem. Every time I care." Nate stopped and closed his eyes for a second before continuing. "Every time I care somebody gets hurt and it is usually the person I care about, and it is usually because I did, or did not do something, I hurt Maggie. I... I let my son die my son. I could go on but it is irrelevant."
"Cancer killed your son." Sophie interrupted him softly.
"No Sophie. I let him die. You know how. I was the good guy. I was not willing to sacrifice my integrity to save my son. You are my family and I am not willing to do the same to you. I am a thief now and I love what we do. I do and I am proud of it. I am proud of you, all of you. So, you can think what you want of me, you can curse me and you can hate me but make no mistake I have to leave. I have to because like this time. Here and now. You will do something to save me or help me when I do something stupid, or go off the rails, or take on a mark I can't handle because…because, well just because, and you will get hurt and I am not willing to take responsibility for that. I can't. I would rather be dead."
They stared at the Mastermind as he poured himself another whiskey and then sat down heavily on the bed. They had no words. How did they say something, what did they say? This was not going the way they wanted it too.
"Nate. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to make you see that you are so wrong on so many levels. I just don't know. I can't change your mind so I am not going to try. You must do what you think is right. We will not chase you." It was the hardest thing she had ever had to do but she turned away and walked towards the door, stopping at the threshold. "Just know that when you are ready. When you have worked through this. I, I am ready to take you back." She was speaking only for herself then. She was not sure what the others were going to do but this is what she was doing. Then she left the room and headed for her own.
The younger members of the team just stared at her and then at Nate. Eliot shook his head and looked at the other two. Then, just as on the ship they left. They left Nate even though they knew they didn't want to. They left him because it was what he wanted.