17 – Arguments

"Not under any circumstances is it acceptable to talk to your father like that, Malina!" I was sitting in the couch as Kirishima was going into his fifteenth minute of yelling at me for the comment at the hospital. "You know we are all in the same pain as you right?" I nodded; his hands were shaking because he was so angry with me. I haven't really thought before I spoke at the hospital and I understood the seriousness of the comment, I should have known better. I wanted to scream to them, tell them to shut the fuck up, but I kept my silence, I did not want to start another argument, they were both really upset. If I upset them more their emotions would only come out as anger towards me instead of grief or sadness like it should. "I´m sorry dad" this was the tenth time I apologized, making it less and less believable each time I said it. He sat down defeated by his own monologue about respect.

Bakugou used an hour to tell us about his kidnapping, it was hard for him to get to the point, he was putting a lot of detail into describing the people, and the warehouse and he used a lot of time to tell us about the plan Kenji had told me about also. Bakugou had pinched in his own opinions about the matter, assuring that the people who suffer from heroes abuse are being taken care of by some sort of underground organization the government operated, that goes for the heroes punishment too. Telling him that only made Kenji mad, and he just wanted it to be over with and wanted to use the quirk gun on Bakugou right away. What Kenji didn't know was that the handcuffs wasn't really locked, it just seemed like it, leaving Bakugou with the opportunity to defend himself and against Kenji wouldn't be a problem.
"He told me about the promise, to let me go, to let me live" I looked at him, I didn't know how to feel anymore about him. He is my dad, but he was also a murderer, if he could murder his own son, he could kill anyone. Should I be afraid, should I be mad? He kept talking about their fight, and it ended up with Kenji waiting a couple of days before he wanted to use the quirk-gun. The media was too focused on Kirishima and me, he wanted it to be sure that his story got the spotlight it deserved. They didn't talk much the next days, but he met Shishikura and learned his story and got to talk to him a little, but most about me, about my broken arm and the bleeding from the mouth. He had been taken care of by the underground organization after Kenji was killed. Bakugou said he tried many times to negotiate with Kenji, trying to make him see the bigger picture, make him surrender or make a deal to let him go without any luck. It had resulted in a fight, a rather quick one; it only took my dad one blow to kill him. His death was instant.
Since Kenji was a wanted criminal and his crimes were as serious as they were the police had given Bakugou the promotion to kill if there was no other way out of the situation. Both of my dads knew this before the hostage exchange and they had already talked it over, they were both prepared for the death of Kenji, but I wasn't. I just couldn't wrap my head around something like this, how do you kill anyone in your family? Was it my fault that he was dead? Was it the lack of convincing when I talked to him? I hadn't really tried to convince him to turn himself over. And to be honest; I was too afraid, too afraid that he might kick me in the ribs again. What a stupid thing to be afraid of, I couldn't imagine how afraid he must have been, afraid of his own father as he stood over him while he took his last breath realizing the one person in the world you should trust just killed you. I should have done more, I should have stayed in the warehouse, and I should have convinced him to take me instead, to kill me instead of him, to make a statement.

The living room was silent; they waited for a reaction, for a comment or something, but my thoughts blurred them out, it felt like the colors wasn't as bright anymore, as if nothing really mattered. What difference did it make if I cried now, it wouldn't help, and it wouldn't bring him back.

Don't get me wrong I was happy that my dad was alive, but had he returned the same man? Was he someone I could trust now? They aren't the best to show emotions either of them, but when Kenji had turned to the villains they both were upset. Even Bakugou shed his tears, and now that he was gone they didn't show any emotion at all, how is that even possible?
"When´s the funeral?" I asked, it was the only thing I could think of saying without starting any discussion. Their faces was surprised over the question, had they really not thought about his funeral yet?
"Honey, you realize he was a criminal, right?" Kirishima had calmed down and talked with his soft voice again. Now I was confused, yes I was aware that he was a villain, but he was still my brother.
"Yes, what has that to do with his funeral?"
"Criminals doesn't get funerals, they are cremated and their ash is being thrown away" Bakugous face didn't seem to care about the fact that his son wasn't getting the funeral he deserved. I bet the reason why they do that is because there is no one who is willing to pay for the funeral or they don't have anyone who cares about them enough to arrange one. But Kenji has both of those things; he still has a family, at least one family member who cares about him. I couldn't let his ashes just go to waste like that.
"But he is still my brother and he is still your son!"
"Either way, he died a criminal, therefore it will not be a funeral" I couldn't believe that they would let it slide that easily, they would just take me to see the body and to identify it and then just never think of it ever again? I was getting mad, Kenji had meant so much to me my entire life, I owed my life to him and still they were sitting here denying him the funeral he deserved.
"Is it because you´re afraid that the media would find out?"
"Malina, you need to watch your mouth" Bakugou was getting quite upset with that comment.
"It cant be that hard to get the permission to burry your own son" this is not something I was willing to let go, I was getting this funeral either way, even if I had to arrange it and dig the fucking grave myself.
"That's the custom, we cant change that"
"Have you tried? Have you asked?" they were silent, I didn't know if it was because I had raised my voice or because of the question.
"Do not raise your voice to us!" Kirishima was angry again.
"Why don't you fucking care? Kenji was so much more then a villain! Why have you forgotten that?"
"We do care, Malina, but we cant change the custom just because we want to"
"You haven't even tried" Bakugou rose up and pointed at me, the rage was clear in his eyes.
"Have you considered that it is because of the media? They will find out that we broke the custom, it will be a huge article that all of Japan will read! Do you have any idea how that will affect us? How it will affect the firm and the people working there? Do you think that giving sympathy for a criminal, even if it was my son or not, would affect how people look at us as heroes? It´s already bad because Kenji went rogue, do you want the firm to go bankrupt?" He sat down again his eyes were fixed on mine, giving me a disappointed look.
"We raised you better then to be this selfish. Think of how this affects everyone else too before you speak"
"Maybe we should take a step back and calm down. Lets make some dinner and then we can talk about it again after we have eaten?" Both Bakugou and I have the worst temper, and we are both stubborn, this discussion would last so much longer if it weren't for Kirishima. He ordered both Bakugou and me around on the kitchen; I was set to cut vegetables while Bakugou was frying the fish. They put on their loud, old music to endure the silence. We ate in silence too, or I tried to eat, I wasn't really hungry. The image of Kenjis body with a huge hole in his chest kept showing up, I just couldn't get it out of my head.
"Eat" it was a command from Bakugou, he looked at my half-eaten dinner. I tried to eat a little more, but the thought made me feel sick. No matter how much I chewed I just couldn't swallow it. I tried to take as small pieces as possible, hauling out the time for them to finish eating.
"I´m not hungry. Thank you for the food" I put the chopsticks down. My body felt like I had ran twelve marathons, the lack of sleep and positive energy in this home right now weighed me down. "I think I need some time alone, can I please leave the table?"
"Sure, take your time" I sat the dinner into the fridge for later. I went up to put on some warmer clothes to go outside. I needed to get away from my parents, a place where I could think alone. I grabbed my phone that still was plugged into the charger from the morning and went outside.

I was walking to the tallest tree in the forest, or at least that's what Kenji and I thought when we were younger. The tree is like a representation of our friendship, it was here we always played as kids, we would climb it and built a fort in it, we had so many good stories connected to this tree. We stayed up late to watch the stars from the tallest branch, and we put up a tent to sleep outside right beside this tree. We buried our goldfish, the first and only pet we owned, under this tree, and it should have been where we buried you. The tree has been growing so much since the last time we played here. I could see the place where we had carved in our names, or Kenji had carved in our names. He had just started school and had learnt how he spelled our names; he stole a knife and carved it in. I was so amazed that he was old enough to write. I looked up so much to him, he was my best friend since I was born. He would always help me when I needed help, I didn't have to ask for it, he just knew I needed it. The only one I told my secrets too, the only one I told my dreams and nightmares to. He was like a compass, pointing me in the right direction, now I was directionless, where should I go now? What do I want to do with my life? Going back to the hero course didn't seem right, I´m not sure I could be a hero at all, not with this ice quirk ruining everything. I sat down leaning against the tree. I picked up my phone looking at all the notifications on my home screen. Tokoyami, Ran and Edward had tried to call me. Uncle Deku had left me a voice message and even Todoroki had sent me a text message. Both my grandmas have also tried to call me multiple times. I believed that Bakugou and Kirishima have already told them. I looked up the news seeing that every news magazine in the country was posting pictures of us, writing the tragic story about the Kirishima-Bakugou family and their villain son killed by their own father. There were discussions about whether Bakugou should be punished or not, police conferences answering questions and my dads' lawyer talking on our behalf telling the public and the media to respect our privacy in the grieving process. Like we are a normal family that grieves in a normal way, they would have loved to see how we grieved.

I looked at the people who had messaged me, long messages of how sorry they were for my loss, someone were happy for me for getting back my dad and some were just messages asking how I was doing. Was I ready to answer them all? What would I say? Thank you for caring? I´m not doing fine? I couldn't bring myself to answer any of them, I wasn't ready, just when I was locking the screen it started buzzing. Tokoyami was calling, I looked at the picture I had attached to his number, and he must be worried for calling this late. Without hesitation I picked up.
"Shorty?" I smiled from hearing his deep voice again, he sounded surprised.
"Hey" I answered not knowing what to say.
"I saw the news figured I would call you, are you ok?" the warmth from his voice made it sound like he was right beside me, sitting leant against the tree looking at the starry sky together.
"I really don't know, how are you?" and that was the truth. Talking to him made me feel safe, like nothing could hurt me as long as he was there.
"I was worried that's all. How´s your dad?"
"Sorry Tokoyami, I cant talk about that, the media might find out and stuff" I told him, I didn't want to talk about him anyway.
"I see. Are you coming back soon? Everyone is missing you very much" I picked up a stick from the ground and poked it in the ground.
"I-I´m not really sure I´ll come back after this" he was silent, I believed he would understand that, after all this haven't been the best year, and to live away from my parents wasn't maybe the best option right now. I had to heal my mental health like Aizawa have told me, before I can become a hero and before I go back to the course.
"Like never?" he was unsure about how to ask.
"I don't know, things are not easy right now, I have a lot to consider, but I do miss you guys so much" I haven't really thought about them at all the past week, or was it longer? I couldn't recall spending any time with Tokoyami while training with Todoroki, not more then just eating dinner together a couple of times.
"I´m sure you´re welcome to a movie night any time or a sleepover if that's what you want, to think about anything else for a while I mean?" I could hear his grin trough the phone.
"Thank you, I´ll might take you up on that offer" I smiled too and threw the stick away, it was starting to get really cold outside and my hand was aching from holding the phone.
"Don't be a stranger, Shorty" we hung up and I went back to the house. He actually made me think about something else then just my family. It felt revealing, like the bobble I have been inside this past week finally bursted and I could see the outside world a little clearer. Maybe this is what I needed to be able to agree on something with my dads and stop the fighting, because it really drained me of energy. I made it home right before it went dark outside, I could hear Kirishima and Bakugou scream at each other from outside the house. I went inside making more noise than I used to so they would notice I was home again, but they still yelled.
"Are you serious? You would choose the firm over your own daughter?" Kiri yelled at Bakugou.
"I´m not saying I choose the firm over her, I´m saying that having a job is more important than to take into account all of her feelings?"
"So her feelings in this is not important?"
"Could you stop putting a different meaning into my words!"
"She is the only one we have left! Do you think not taking her feelings into account is the right way to deal with this?"
"I am taking her feelings into account, I´m just saying that we cant just risk everything for it"
"So you´re putting the firm in front of your family again?"
"My firm is a part of my life too, why shouldn't it be considered into this as well?"
"Because its replaceable"
"I am NOT giving him that grave, there is other ways to grieve then by a grave"
"When did you become so insensitive?"
"When did you become so irrational?"
"She is our daughter!"
"Don´t you think I know that? Don't you think it fucking pains me too, not being able to burry my own son? You really think that's something I don't want too?"
"Then why don't we just do it, screw the media!"
"Have you been listening to a word I said at all? Its not that easy, Kiri!"
"Don't you think people would understand?"
"No they wouldn't, the discussions on the television right now is proving it, people wouldn't even understand that I had to kill him to get out of there, even with the police´s promotion they want me to be punished, you really think burying him would be the best thing to do?"
"When did the media start controlling your life?"

I couldn't listen to them fight any more and stepped angry into the living room. They both turned around ashamed that they hadn't noticed me coming into the house.
"Can you please stop fighting?"
"Honey, this is our discussion don't get involved" They both were shaking from rage; their discussion weren't going anywhere.
"Sounds like a fight to me"
"Malina, please just let us finish and we´ll talk afterwards ok?" I turned around knowing I couldn't stand listening to them anymore. This family really needed help right now.
"Sorry, I just think we should consider it, we´re a small family, Kenji was a huge part of both our lives and he was an even bigger part of Malinas life. We should act like a normal family would do, it doesn't have to be a big thing, it just to move on?" Kirishima had calmed a little down and their discussion sounded more like talking then yelling, but I could still hear them in the kitchen where I was reheating my food.
"This is nothing like a normal family situation, Kiri. Yes he meant a lot to everyone, but that don't change the fact that a small ceremony might be the end of our carriers as heroes, it might be the end of Malinas too before it even began. It has nothing to do with not respecting emotions, but more of a practical approach" it was silent in the living room, the discussion was dead, they had agreed. They both looked defeated as they sat down by the dinner table.
"I don't want to discuss anymore, today" I announced, I was too tired and I couldn't think of anything to say to them, I needed time to gather my emotions. They both agreed and watched me eat the rest of my dinner.
"I think we need some help" I thought out loud. "Kenji was always the buffer in our discussions, we´re too stubborn, we need someone to keep us sane"
"We can fix this ourselves, it just going to take some time" Bakugou rubbed his temples trying to get rid of the headache that was building up.
"What about asking grandma and nana to come visit?" I saw that they both almost choked on air as they imagined both of their mothers in our house.
"I´m not inviting that hag into this mess" Bakugou hit the table.
"Don't call grandma a hag!" I gave him an angry look. "I cant imagine this situation being easy for them either"
"I called her yesterday, she´ll be fine"
"Well I could really use someone else in the house to talk to except you two"
"Whats wrong with us?"
"Nothing, just.." I looked down at the empty bowl. "You´re not always the best listeners"
"What? I´m the best listener!" Bakugou was seeking confirmation from his husband, but he agreed with me.
"Maybe she got a point Katsuki?" I smiled, finally winning an argument.
"And who may you suggest we bring in?" The bitterness was a sweet victory for me.
"Grandma and nana!" it was the best suggestion, they always spoiled Kenji and me so much, I love them so much and I don't see them enough.
"I´m not inviting both, one is enough" Bakugou made his request and Kiri and I accepted.
"Rock, paper, scissors then" I smiled and looked at both of them.
"Fine the looser has to invite their parents"
"Best of one" Kiri rolled his eyes and put out his fist towards Bakugou. Bakugou smiled, he loved the feeling of competition.
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Kirishima showed paper to Bakugou showed rock.
"Grandma then" I got so excited that they were coming.
"Best out of three!" he demanded.
"It was best of one, dear" Kiri told him satisfied with his victory.
"Come on! I´ll do anything, please best out of three"
"Anything?" Kirishimas interested just peaked, and I could see where this was going.
"Stop! Dad you lost, call grandma and invite her over" Kiri broke out of some kind of fantasy and agreed with me, he really didn't want to drag his mother into this mess either.
"Fine!" he aggressively pulled up his phone and dialed the number putting it up to his ear. When she answered his tone suddenly changed like it always does when he is talking to her.
"Hey mom, yes we´re fine it just, no its nothing like that, just that, what no mom I just, can… COULD YOU LET ME TALK PLEASE! Sorry, no, yes. She´s fine, listen I just, what do you mean? Yes, sure, but listen I was just wondering if you and dad would like to come over for a couple of days? What do you mean I never ask? I ASK ALL THE TIME! Sorry again… Yes, yes, yes. Sure mom you can cook if you want to! No you don't… no… just… can…Yes you can drop by the store, no we don't need anything. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW MOM! Sorry. Can you just text… we have the guest room you don't have to bring… fine if it makes you happy. Sure, fine, yes, yes. Can you just text the rest? No I´m not mad, I just have… im sorry to call so late, we just talked about it! It doesn't matter, no it doesn't, NO IT DOESN'T. Just text me! Fine, bye!" he threw the phone on the table and started to rub his temples again.
"Are they coming?"
"Yes, tomorrow" I smiled to him, to show how much it meant to me that he would agree to it. I really did, we needed them here now and she was the only person who could put up with daddys anger. "If this turns out to be the worst days of my life, I swear I´ll have my revenge"

We stayed up playing board games, which in our family is never a good idea. Everyone is so competitive and to trash talk the other players is rule number one. The goal is making the other players mad enough to quit the game, it is always fun, we played Uno for the most of the time, the loser had to shuffle the deck.
"Draw four! I choose red and UNO!" Bakugou was so into the game, I had about ten cards on my hand and drawing four more was a pain. I only had one red card, a normal 6, I laid it down hoping that Kiri wouldn't give Bakugou the victory.
"What´s the matter? Not getting tired of me beating your asses every time?" Kiri smiled and put down his card.
"Draw four, right back at you and I choose yellow" watching Bakugou eating his words as he picked up four cards. He put down a draw two-card.
"Are you serious?" I drew two more cards and putting down some of my cards that were alike. The round went on forever and in the end it was Bakugou that won and I lost.
"I need to go to bed to even be able to look at my mom tomorrow" Bakugou announced, and I also was exhausted, the lack of sleep last night and the events of the day had worn me out. As soon as I went to bed I fell asleep.

Hi! hope you liked this chapter as well, i just LOVE the phonecall between Bakugou and his mom, i can hear it in my head as i read it.
The story is slowly approaching an end, i hope you are all ready! There will be 20 chapters in all, so what do you hope for as an ending?
If you want to, leave a review, i really appreciate it! Thank you!