Monday
Arizona and Lucy went for a smoothie after their yoga class and the two chatted about their weekends. Lucy talked about how she had been working extra shifts recently and confided in Arizona that she was worried about the lack of time she was spending with Alex who worked in real estate.
Arizona knew it was hard to maintain a relationship with someone who worked a normal 9-5 job. That was why she had tended to have relationships with people who worked in medicine, who understood the crazy hours the job required.
"I'm worried he might be going off me" Lucy confessed
"I'm sure that's not the case..." Arizona tried to be supportive despite having never met Alex "you maybe just have to be more inventive, more spontaneous!"
"After a week of nights I have no energy left for spontaneity!" Lucy responded in a defeated tone "He's working long hours too on a property at the moment, so even when I'm home and NOT working he's across town busy and often doesn't even have time to talk."
"That's hard. Maybe you guys just need to sit down and talk about it and put some time aside for each other. Callie and I are still going on our date nights...which is a bit weird if you think we were together for seven years!" Arizona thought out loud.
"Why did you split up?" Lucy asked "if you don't mind me asking?"
"Well we went through a lot, car crashes, plane crashes, unplanned pregnancies, losing my leg, cheating..."
"Jeez it sounds like a TV show!"
"I know right!" Arizona laughed lightly
"Did she cheat on you? You know after you lost your leg?" Lucy asked
Arizona shook her head "No. No I was the one who cheated." She admitted "Callie waited months for me after the amputation...she waited eight months without sex as I just didn't feel sexy".
Lucy nodded "I get that. it took me two years after the crash to have sex again. My boyfriend at the time of the crash couldn't deal with it...I mean it was fair enough...he was 18 and didn't need to be stuck with a cripple."
Lucy paused as she saw Arizona's face react to the word cripple.
"Sorry. I don't use that word anymore...it's just that's how I saw myself at the time. I don't think that way now!"
"I...I understand. I felt the same sat there in a wheelchair. I was SO mean to Callie...for so long...I blamed her"
"Why?" Lucy asked confused
"She is an ortho surgeon and I asked her to promise me she's save my leg."
"Wow!" Lucy responded
"I know. It was wrong of me to make her do that. I know that as doctors we should never promise things...but I was so scared. I was scared and I mixed up the doctor and wife role and I put her in a really difficult position."
"What happened?"
"Well the infection took over and I almost died and so she had to made the call. It was the leg or me"
"Shiiit. That must have put a strain on your relationship."
Arizona nodded "it almost broke us. I was depressed and angry and I took it all out on Callie, and she took it all" Arizona sighed "and I repaid her loyalty by cheating on her!"
"And that's why you guys split up?"
"Initially we did...but again she took me back and we tried again...we bought a new house and for Sofia's sake we tried..."
"But?"
"But Callie felt lost...She didn't recognise herself anymore and so ...we...ummm well she, she ended the marriage, we got divorced and she moved to New York."
"And now here you are and you guys are back together!" Lucy said smiling at her new friend
"Well there's been a few years in between, but yeah...here we are in New York together starting again." Arizona smiled softly as she thought about Callie and how lucky they were to have another chance.
"Anyway...enough about my crazy love life...so who was the lucky guy who you had sex with after 2 years. They must have been pretty special."
Lucy hesitated a little before she answered "yeah she was...still is in fact"
Arizona eyes widened at Lucy's response. "Go on...spill the beans"
"Well I had my bike accident right before I was supposed to be going to college"
"To study medicine?" Arizona asked
"God no...I wasn't interested in science at all back then...I was an artist..." Lucy laughed at herself "sorry...correction...I thought I was an artist. I had a place at Columbia to study Visual art."
"Oh wow...something completely different"
"Yeap. I was a free spirit back then - hence the motorbike. I was ready to go make my mark at College when the accident happened when my life kinda got flipped upside down."
"You were so young. It must have been really hard" Arizona tried to imagine how she would have coped at the age of 18. Without Callie's support.
"Yeah it wasn't great. Instead of starting the next chapter in my life, I was living at home, in a wheelchair whilst all my friends went off to College. Some of them tried...they called and they came home at weekends, but they had new lives...and to be honest...I wasn't the best company to be around."
Lucy paused and looked at Arizona for a second "I was super depressed and I really struggled for a bit."
"So what happened? What was it that made you start living again?" Arizona thought back to the stunt that Bailey had played on her in order to get her back in the hospital.
"My dad. He got sick...cancer...and there was nothing the doctors could do. I...I" Lucy felt the tears start to fall and quickly wiped her face with embarrassment at crying, closing her eyes to try and regain her composure.
Arizona lent over and brushed Lucy's cheek, causing the paramedic to jump at the touch "I'm sorry...you have an eyelash" she said as she pulled her hand away and stuck out a finger "make a wish" the blonde smiled as she watched Lucy blow the eyelash off her finger.
"My dad used to do that" Lucy smiled softly.
Arizona place a reassuring hand over Lucy's "Lucy you know you don't have to tell me anything...if it's too difficult."
Lucy shook her head "no...no it's fine honestly...It's just that I haven't spoken about it for a while...but I feel I can talk about this stuff with you...even though we've just met..." Lucy wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve and took a deep breath. "Weird huh!" She tried a smile.
Arizona smiled and nodded in agreement "I feel the same. It's actually really nice being able to talk about stuff with someone who understands what it's like...I mean everyone is different and our circumstances were very different, and you were way younger than I was, but the thing I struggled with the most was explaining how I felt. How I felt whenever I saw a cute pair of shorts, or a pair of heels, or watched sports on TV".
"Exactly. So there I was all dark and angry and depressed, I'd stopped drawing, I didn't want to see my friends when they came home for weekends...yeah I had given up...and then my dad got sick and something just clicked. I was still alive. I had been given a second chance at life and I was wasting it because I hated the fact that I had a prosthetic limb. I mean big deal right!"
"But it takes time to except that change. I don't know about you, but I became all about the leg, I was self absorbed and it did take over the rest of me..."
"Yeah totally. Well for me I literally needed my dad dying to snap out of it. I suddenly wanted to do things,start living again...because he couldn't. "
"So you want to Columbia and did art?"
Lucy nodded. "I did. A year later than I should have, but I got there eventually and that's where I met Cath"
"The girl you slept with?"
"Yeap...She was my room mate and from the very first day she was just was so caring and friendly. We became really close quickly and she helped me when I was having a bad day. She would hold me when I was missing my dad and tell me how proud he would be of me now, and how to make great art for him." Lucy smiled as she thought of Cath's words "she was my person...my rock..."
"Soooo how did it go from friends to you guys having sex?" Arizona asked
"Errr I think the simple answer there is Tequila!" Lucy laughed "we were both wasted one night and as I was tucking Cath into bed I lent down and gave her a kiss goodnight on the lips. Nothing I unusual, but she looked at me differently and after a few seconds of intense staring I lent back down and kissed her again...and well that was it really"
"So you guys became couple?"
"No... we had sex...we had a lot of amazingly hot sex...it was my umm first time with a woman and wow...I mean WOW!" Lucy gave Arizona a knowing look.
Arizona smiled "well I've never been with a guy so I've got nothing to compare it to, but I get ya" Arizona chuckled.
"Cath built up my confidence again, made me feel sexy again, made me want to be touched again and then after about three weeks we both sat down and talked and realised that's all it was ever going to be, sex, and that we were much better off friends than girlfriends."
"That's great that she helped you feel sexy again. It took me a long time to feel that way"
Arizona admitted.
Even though Callie and her had started having sex again, when Lauren flirted with her, it made Arizona feel almost back to normal again. Arizona had always felt that Callie HAD to sleep with her, they were married, that Callie was biased towards her, that actually she wasn't sexy anymore to anyone other than Callie.
"Are you still friends?" Arizona asked
"Uh-huh still flat mates actually"
"Oh wow that is cool."
"Cath is also a doctor."
"Really. Which hospital?"
"She's at Pres at the moment."
"She's not a peds doctor is she? Would I know her?"
"No she's general. She's ummm the reason why I retrained actually. She gave me a room at her apartment rent free whilst I was trying to make it in art world...unsuccessfully I might add... and she suggested I did some volunteering with a youth project. After years of being wrapped up in myself and thinking that art was the only important thing in the world, she helped me see how rewarding helping people could be. Sooo I couldn't afford medical school after Art School so I went down the Paramedic route instead and I love it. I mean I wouldn't be here today if it hadn't been for those first responders who restarted my heart at the scene of the crash. If I can do that for someone else, that I know my dad would be proud of me."
"That's such a cool story Lucy. I'm sure your dad is very proud. So did you give up art completely?" Arizona asked
"No I umm still volunteer when I can, I help out with an art project in the bronx. It's actually how I met Alex, his firm were sponsoring a mural for one of their community projects and well we got talking. Talking of Alex...I'd better go...he's coming over tonight and I need to do some serious self grooming first!" Lucy laughed.
They walked to the subway "sorry if I went on too much tonight?" Lucy apologised
"Don't be silly" Arizona smiled and lent over to give Lucy a friendly hug.
"Well thanks for listening. It was good to talk"
"Listen just talk to Alex tonight...tell how you are feeling. If he's got any sense he'll realise how lucky he is." Arizona meant it. Lucy had been through a lot and seemed like a really caring, switched on person.
Lucy smiled at Arizona's kind words and placed a small kiss on her cheek "you Dr Robbins are very good for my confidence. I'll let you know how I get on."
"Great and don't forget the party on Saturday. Hope to see you both there. You can meet Callie." Arizona said enthusiastically
"Looking forward to it." Lucy said before heading down the steps to the subway.
I really wanted to give Arizona a friend in this story, someone who she can relate to. As supportive as Callie was after the crash and the loss of her leg, in the show it always felt that Arizona couldn't really explain how she was feeling. She should have gone to counselling back then, seen support groups, but she was too proud and stubborn to ask for help. She was trying to be as 'normal' as possible, when something major had happened.
In a review to an earlier chapter someone correctly pointed out that Callie had always wanted Arizona and had never stopped finding her attractive. What I wrote here, and in chapter 1 was my attempt to try and understand why Arizona cheated. Obviously just my opinion. Let me know what you think.
Anyway, looks like Carina is coming to town...so there may be drama before the party on Saturday!