Chapter 19: Healing begins.
Vala sat staring at the woman in front of her, trying to read her face. It had been three days since Landry had asked her to work with Charlotte, to help her overcome her guilt over what she was forced to do while inhabited by the Goa'uld Athena. The truth was she didn't know how. She still struggled with what the Goa'uld Quetesh had made her do, while it was inside of her.
She was waiting for Ronon to come and join them, since he had mentioned to her that he still struggled with the guilt of what the ascended wraith Klow had made him do, while inhabiting his body. Her thoughts being that maybe they could all help each other.
She was relieved when Ronon walked into the room a few minutes later and sat down, nodding his head at them both.
"Ronon I'm so glad that you could make it."
"Sure, no problem, "he mumbled keeping an eye on Charlotte.
"Right let's get started them." Vala suggested.
Ronon continued to stare at Charlotte, "so you were the one who tortured Sheppard." He said more of a statement that a question.
She watched to see what Charlotte's reaction was going to be to his accusations and to her relief Charlotte didn't seen too upset by what he had said.
"Yes and believe me when I say, I feel extremely guilty about it. I was aware of everything that Athena did while she was in my body. Sometimes I was able to exert some control over Athena and that is why Athena didn't lock you up the minute she knew you were working for the SGC." She said looking at Vala.
"I wondered about that and I guess that was why Athena was willing to let me try and heal Colonel Sheppard."
"Yes I constantly fought with Athena towards the end, but I was never able to totally overcome her." Charlotte answered her, with a look of remorse crossing her face.
"I know what that is like, I constantly fought with Klow when he inhabited my body, but it was still not enough. Klow inflicted horrendous injuries on Sheppard and he used my hands to do it." Ronon added with a distressed look in his eyes.
Charlotte took a deep breath before speaking again, "did Colonel Sheppard ever forgive you for what Klow did to him?"
"Yeah, he did, but it still doesn't stop me feeling guilty at times. I hope that one day I can forgive myself."
"I think I would like to talk to him at some point and apologise, I'm not necessarily asking for forgiveness, but I want him to know that I am sorry for what happened." Charlotte suggested with tears brimming in her eyes.
"I will talk to Colonel Sheppard when he wakes up and see if he wants to talk to you" Vala suggested.
"Doc Beckett still has him heavily sedated. I think he's trying to spare him the pain from the gunshot wound to his shoulder." Ronon explained.
Charlotte sighed, "Another thing I have to feel guilty about."
Vala looked at both of them and she completely understood how they felt, but she knew that the only way for them to get on with the rest of their lives was to forgive themselves. "I know that it isn't easy, believe me I've been where you are. You just have to forgive yourself and get on with your life."
"I will not rest until every wraith in the Pegasus galaxy in dead that is how I'll get over it!" Ronon snarled.
Vala rolled her eyes. "That works too."
Vala looked at Charlotte wondering if she'd actually achieved anything in the last half an hour. Ronon certainly seemed to know how he was going to deal with things, but did Charlotte?
"What are you thinking Charlotte?" She asked, wincing when she realised how much she sounded like a psychologist.
"I'll be fine, I will go back to work if I'm able and just get on with my life, one thing I need to do though is talk to Colonel Sheppard, so Ronon if you could tell him that I would like to see him when he wakes up." Charlotte said with determination in her voice.
Vala looked at both of them trying to read them, but for the moment they both seemed like closed books. "Well in that case I have nothing left to say to either of you."
She watched as they both stood to their feet and left the room. That went well, she thought putting her head in her hands.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dave walked into Landry's office and he had no idea why he had been summoned. He sat down at the desk and looked around wondering where Landry was.
The last three days had been difficult for him and he had spent most of his time sitting with John. Carson had kept John sedated to give his body a chance to rest and begin to heal and apparently it was working, because his lungs had cleared up and his temperature was back to normal. His shoulder seemed to be healing well as well. He really wanted to get back to the infirmary as soon as possible, as Carson had said that he was planning on waking him up later that day and he definitely wanted to be there for that.
His thoughts were interrupted when Landry walked in the room, "Good morning Mr Sheppard and thank you for being so prompt."
"What is this about General?" Dave asked feeling a little nervous.
"The IOA contacted me last night and said that it was time they had a look at the budget of the Atlantis expedition."
"And what does that have to do with me?" Dave asked sitting forward in his seat.
"Well the IOA want you for the job, so I am here to ask you if you would like to go and work on Atlantis."
Dave could not believe what he was hearing, they wanted him to go and live in another galaxy, "Well I wouldn't go without Jane?"
"I'm sure that we could find something for her to do there as well." Landry told him with a smirk on his face.
"Would I report to the IOA?" Dave asked, John had told him about the IOA and he didn't like the sound of working for them.
"No you would report to Mr Woolsey, who would report to me and then I would report your findings to the IOA."
Dave took a deep breath. "Well I would have to talk to Jane and John first. I need to know that John is okay with having his brother on Atlantis. When would I go?"
"I'm not sure at this stage, we're hoping that if John is well enough we can send you all back together in around four weeks' time."
Dave ran his hand through his hair and if he could have looked in the mirror, he would have laughed at how much it looked like John's "That will certainly give me time to sort out my business here on earth. When do you need to know?"
"If you can let me know before the end of the week and let me know what Jane decides as well, so that we can find a job for her to do?"
"Thank you General," he said standing to his feet and shaking the Generals hand.
"How is John? Landry asked, before he had a chance to leave the room.
"Carson has kept him sedated to try and give his body a chance to recover, but he is doing much better. Carson is intending to wake him up later today."
Landry nodded his head before clearing his throat, "anyway I have a phone meeting in a minute, so let me know what you decide."
Dave turned around and left the room. He really needed to talk to Jane right now, the last time he'd seen her she was in the mess hall taking a break from sitting with John, so that's where he headed hoping that she was still there.
He turned the corner on his way the mess hall and saw that Jane was coming towards him.
"Jane I really need to talk to you right now, how about we head back to our quarters!?" He suggested with excitement in his voice.
"Okay…I was just heading back there anyway to check on Puss."
Dave rolled his eyes, Jane was becoming a little bit too attached to the cat and he didn't know what to do or say about it. "Has that cat been outside since we've been here?"
"Yes he gets taken outside a few times each day. Between Teyla, Ronon and myself he is well looked after."
"Has anyone tried to find out who it belongs to?" Dave asked hopefully.
"Yes and no-one seems to want to claim him, so we're waiting to see what John wants to do with him when he wakes." Jane stated with a determined edge to her voice.
They arrived at their quarters and entered the room. Looking around the room, he was disgusted to find that Puss was lying in the middle of the bed fast asleep.
Dave let out a frustrated sigh, "does he always have to be in our quarters?"
"He doesn't spend all of his time with us Teyla had him earlier on, but she is now in the infirmary with John and Carson and Dr Lam refuse to let a cat into the ICU. Anyway I thought that you wanted to talk to me about something, and I'm sure it wasn't Puss."
Dave took a deep breath not quite knowing what to say to her, "Well… I just had a meeting with General Landry and I have been offered a job in Atlantis."
He could see the confusion in her eyes, as she thought about what he'd just said. "What about us?"
"Although there is no job for you in Atlantis at the moment, Landry has said that they would try and find you something, so you can come too."
He watched as Jane furrowed her brow. "Do you think that they'd need a teacher? I haven't taught for five years, but I'm sure I could do it again?"
"I don't know, but I can ask General Landry. What do you think?" He asked her holding his breath.
"I'm defiantly interested, but I will need time to think about it. When does the General want to know?" Jane asked
"He wants to know by the end of the week." Dave told her, sitting down on the bed and he was a little annoyed when Puss decided to come and sit on his lap.
"What do you think you want to do Dave?"
"I want to talk to John first, but I think I would like to go. I have wanted to work in the business less and I have been training Eddie Bean to take over the day to day running of the business."
"Well in that case I think you'd better talk to John, because I'm in. I don't have any family back here. You and John are the only family I have, so if you're both on Atlantis I should be as well." Jane told him with a huge smile on her face.
Dave carefully placed the cat on the bed and stood up, "well I'm due in the infirmary, to take over from Ronon. I will tell Landry of our decision later and I'll ask him if they need a teacher."
"Well I'll catch you later then. I'm just about to take Puss out for a walk."
He rolled his eyes again and gave her a kiss on the cheek, before he left the room. He had so much to do if he was to head to Atlantis in four weeks. He hoped that John would be amenable to the idea of him living and working on Atlantis, because if he wasn't it didn't really matter what he wanted.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
John's senses slowly awoke to what was happening around him, the smell of antiseptic, the softness of the pillows and the whispered voices around him, all led him to one conclusion, he was in the infirmary. Opening his eyes and looking around him, he was disappointed to see that he was in the SGC and not on Atlantis. He wasn't happy when he felt all of the tubes attached to his body either. IV, heart monitor, feeding tube and the dreaded catheter, would he ever be free of injury long enough to eat by himself or go the bathroom by himself. The thought totally depressed him, so he closed his eyes and hoped that he could sleep until it was all over.
No such luck, he thought when a voice pervaded his thoughts, "John it is good to see you awake, Dave has just gone to find Carson. Would you like a drink of water?"
He nodded his head slowly and when a bendy straw was placed in front of his lips, he drank greedily.
"Easy John, you do not want to be sick," Teyla told him pulling the straw away.
He decided that it was probably time he tried to say something, "Teyla…" he whispered.
"Yes John it is me and you are safe now. Carson will be here in the moment to talk to you."
A loud cheery voice joined the conversation, "Laddie it's good to see you awake, how are you feeling?"
He tried to put his hand to his head to rub his temple and it didn't take him long too realise that it was in a cast, when he hit himself in the head, "I'll be much better if you keep your voice down Carson."
"Sorry John," Carson said in a softer voice.
"What's going on Carson," he whispered.
Carson looked at him with his bright blue eyes, "What do you remember John?" Carson asked in a gentle voice.
"I remember that Athena was torturing me and then Vala was there, Athena shot me and then I remember absolutely nothing until now. How long have I been here Doc?"
"You've been here for three days and I've kept you heavily sedated until now, to try and give your body a chance to heal. You did wake up for a while three days ago though."
Yawning he tried to keep his eyes open, as he looked at the faces around the room. Dave was there and of course Teyla, the love of his life.
"So what's the damage this time Doc?" He asked finally closing his eyes.
"You have a gunshot wound to your right shoulder, it was a through and through, but we managed to close up both wounds. You right leg still hadn't healed properly from your last injury, so we put that back in a cast and your left wrist was shattered and as you can tell we put that in a cast as well. You had fluid on your lungs and a terrible cough when you were first brought in, but that has cleared up now."
"Thanks Doc, but can I go back to sleep now?"
"Aye lad I'll come back and check on you later John." Carson said, before he left the room.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and he knew that it was Teyla's, he really wanted to see her face, so he struggled to open his eyes, "Teyla where is Torren?"
"It's okay John, he is staying with Claudia at the moment and apparently her kids absolutely love him." Teyla informed him while rubbing his good shoulder.
"And Puss is with Jane at the moment." Dave added.
He looked at Dave with confusion, "Puss?"
"The big ginger cat that was transported to the Hammond with you, he didn't want to leave you, we had a hard time dragging him away. You certainly remembered him last time you were awake." Dave explained feeling confused himself.
He vaguely remembered a ginger cat while he was in the compound, "Okay…" was all that he managed to say.
"We will talk about this later John, for now I think you should go to sleep." Teyla said in a soothing tone.
Closing his eyes he concentrated on her hand on his shoulder and it wasn't long before he drifted off to sleep again.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dave followed Teyla out of the ICU; he really wanted to talk to her about the job that General Landry had offered him, hurrying he managed to catch up to her just outside of her quarters.
"Teyla can I have a word with you?"
"Can it not wait Dave, as Claudia will be calling me in a few moments, so that I can talk to Torren?"
"I suppose it can, but I really need to run something past John and I'd like to run it past you first."
"Alright I have about five minutes, so be succinct." Teyla told him with impatience in her voice, which was something that he'd never seen in Teyla before.
He took a deep breath before answering, "I have been offered a job on Atlantis and I want to know what John may think. Do you think he'd mind me working there or not?"
"I honestly don't know Dave you would have to ask him. Personally I would love to have you and Jane nearby on Atlantis, but to know what John is thinking you would have to ask him. Please talk to him when he wakes up again, you might actually be surprised how he feels about you. I must go now Dave, I will see you later for dinner."
He watched as she turned and entered her quarters. Perhaps she was right, maybe John was the person he needed to talk to.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
John's next venture into the world of wakefulness was less painful. Opening his eyes he looked around the room and found that Carson was sitting beside his bed.
"Hey Carson, how long was I asleep this time?" he asked his voice barely above a whisper.
"Around three hours. It's almost dinner time and I'd like you to try and eat something." Carson asked him with a soft gentle voice.
He sighed he actually felt wiped and could think of nothing worse than trying to stuff food into his mouth, when all he felt like doing was going back to sleep. But he knew that if he ever wanted to lose the feeding tube, he should probably eat.
"I could eat some Jello."
"I'll have one of the nurses go and get you something shortly, but first I really need to talk to you."
Looking in Carson's eyes, he tried to get an idea of what he wanted to talk to him about. Was it good news or was it bad news? Whatever it was he wanted to this talk over and done with as soon as possible.
"How long am I going to be stuck on earth for this time Doc?"
To his surprise Carson smiled at him, "Well I have some good news and some bad news, which would you like first?"
He was beginning to feel frustrated with this conversation, since all he wanted to do right now was to go back to sleep and sleep until he was one hundred percent well again. "Just tell it to me straight Doc; I'm not really in the mood for games?"
"Well the bad news is you will be on earth for another four weeks."
"And what's the good news Doc?" He asked with curiosity.
"Well we've employed a physical therapist, which means that you will be able to return to Atlantis and complete your rehabilitation." Carson told him with grin.
He was really beginning to hate this conversation and he wanted it to end, so that he could go back to sleep. Hopefully Carson would give him some pain meds as well, since the pain in his shoulder was beginning to notch up a level. "And why do I have to wait four weeks before I go back to Atlantis Doc?"
"I want you to have a decent rest, before we head back. Landry has suggested that Ronon, Teyla and I stay on earth and have a vacation as well. Then when we head back to Atlantis the new physical therapist and her family will come with us."
John's interest was piqued and he was suddenly wide awake, "Do I know this physical therapist?"
"I think you might, her name is Claudia Jones and she has some top references, from the Sheppard family." Carson told him with amusement in his eyes.
"Wow that's awesome." He said with a grin, before his face turned serious, "how long do you think it will be before I'm back on duty?"
"It's hard to say. Your right leg should be out of plaster in around three weeks and I would think that you might need another three weeks to build up enough strength to start running again. Your left wrist should be out of plaster in around eight weeks and your hands seem to be almost back to one hundred percent, but it's your shoulder that it going to take longest time. Possibly around three months.
He sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that day. "I guess the SGC has employed the best of the best as usual, so I'm sure with Claudia's help I should be able to get back to normal in that time."
"It could have been a lot worse John. It looks as if your shoulder was dislocated and your back was shredded to pieces by a severe whipping at some point as well. It appears as if those injuries have been healed along with your left leg."
"I barely remember what happened when I was with Athena. The only thing I do remember is that dam device she tried to make me activate every day."
"Let's get that feeding tube out and then I'll have a nurse go and get you something to eat." Carson said rubbing his good shoulder.
"Can you wait till later before you bring me some food, because I am feeling exhausted and in pain."
"Oaky lad, let's get this tube out and then I'll give you some pain meds and you can go back to sleep."
Ten minutes later when Carson had taken the feeding tube out and injected some pain medication into his IV, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep again.
The next time he awoke he found that he was alone, which was a relief, since the last conversation he'd had with Carson had thoroughly worn him out. Closing his eyes again, he thought about all that had happened to him since he'd come to earth and he had to agree with Carson maybe it was time for a vacation and he knew just the place.
His thoughts were interrupted by a deep voice, "Hey Sheppard how's it going?"
Rolling his head to the side, he was happy to see that Ronon was standing beside his bed, but he wasn't sure what he thought of the person standing next to him.
"What can I do for you Charlotte?" He asked without emotion.
"I felt the need to come and apologise for what I did you while Athena was controlling me. I was aware of everything she made me do to you. At times I was able to break through and almost help you."
"Thank you for what you did for me and although I can forgive you for what you did, I'm not sure that I can be in the same room as you right now." He stated staring straight past her.
"I want to thank you Colonel for helping me get rid of Athena once and for all."
He met her eyes, nodded and then turned away hoping that she would take a hint and leave the room.
"What was that?" Ronon asked him, once she had left the room
"What was what?" He asked turning to glare at his friend.
"I thought you were a bit mean to her. She feels really guilty for what she did to you." Ronon stated firmly.
"Well I've forgiven her; it doesn't mean I want to become best buddies with her or anything!" John spat out, suddenly feeling angry with him.
Suddenly Ronon's face was close to his and he wondered what was happening.
"You forgave me for what Klow did to you while he was in my body and you are still treating me as your brother. What I want to know is why you've done that for me, but you are being cruel to her!?" Ronon was obviously angry by the time he'd finished.
He was totally shocked by his friend's outburst, "You are my brother and you always will be no matter what happens, but I never met Charlotte before today and basically I don't have to or want to be her friend." He told him trying to control his anger.
Ronon eyes flashed with anger, "So basically what you're saying is that you have to be my friend, well you know what don't worry, when we get back to Atlantis I will leave, so you won't have to be reminded of what happened to you!"
John shuddered, the last thing he'd intended to do was to upset Ronon, but right now he didn't quite know how to handle it.
Dave walked in the room, just before Ronon was about to walk out and he was relieved, when Dave stopped him.
Dave put his hand on Ronon's shoulder and looked at John. "Hey guys please stop arguing, I can tell you right now that you will regret it if you walk away from each other now. Believe me I know, you will just end up with a whole heap of regrets."
John just stared at his brother, he had no idea what had gotten in to him. "Wow Dave when did you become so wise?"
"Believe me when I say I know all about regrets. I almost lost my brother, because I let the constant arguments get in the way and at one point I thought that things would never be the same again and I was right, things aren't the same as they used to be before the arguments, they're better." Dave told him with a small smile.
John was speechless by the time Dave had finished, so he was glad when Ronon spoke, "you know what Dave you're absolutely right." He turned to John before speaking again, "Sheppard, I am sorry for shouting at you and I will always be your brother not matter what happens."
Now he just stared at Ronon. What the hell was wrong with these people? What was with all this emotional crap? He looked at the end of the bed and mumbled, "yeah you to Ronon."
Now it was Ronon's turn to look down at his feet, "well…umm…I need to go now."
He just watched his friend leave the room and then he turned to Dave hoping that he was not there for a long talk, because he felt worn out again and wanted to go back to sleep.
"John there is something I want to talk to you about."
Of course he did, "I'm listening Dave, but can you make it quick, because I really need to go back to sleep."
"Well Jane and I have actually been offered jobs on Atlantis and we really want to accept, but we wanted to run it by you first."
"What will you be doing?" He asked apprehensively.
"Well I will be looking into the finances of expedition and Jane will be teaching the kids on Atlantis, as she was a teacher before she started to build her business."
He felt a little worried by what his brother had said, "Will you be working for the IOA?"
"No I will be working for the SGC and reporting to Mr Woolsey."
He thought about it for a few seconds and the decision was easy, he loved his brother and it was a wonderful opportunity for Dave. "I think you should take it."
"Really, you don't mind?"
"I really think you should Dave and I couldn't think of anything better than having my brother on Atlantis. I love you and it's been incredible to have my brother back again." John told him and he really meant it.
"I love you to little brother," he said with a smirk.
"Well now that emotional crap is out of the way, how about we plan a vacation in Maui, before we're due on Atlantis?" He suggested and if he could have rubbed his hands together he would have.
"Sounds good to me, I have to talk to Eddie Bean about taking over the day to day running of the business, but after that I'm free."
"That sounds great, but for now I think I need to go back to sleep again. Would you be able to get Carson, so he can give me some pain meds?"
"Sure thing, little brother."
He watched his brother leave the room and was relieved to finally be able to close his eyes. He was happy that his brother would be coming to Atlantis with him and before that they would be taking a vacation to his house in Maui. He'd have to ask Ronon, Rodney, Carson, Teyla and Torren to come with him as well.
With all of these thoughts rolling around his head it wasn't long before he fell into a deep contented sleep.
TBC...
One more chapter to go.