SMILER WIYH A GUN

(This is probably my favorite episode. It is also one of the most difficult to address under this premise because I have visited this episode at least twice in the past. But the lure of this episode is that there is just so much inner conflict, such a vast opportunity for self exploration, and the first true glimpse of a cold, hard vengeance that distinguished Jed Curry, from Kid Curry).

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Both Heyes and Curry rode in silence for many miles after leaving Matherville. Concerned about his partner's state of mind, Heyes rode beside Kid much of the way, stealing quick glances at his soul-searching partner. Kid always needed some quiet, soul-searching time after being called out, but this was different. Kid's eyes were different. There wasn't the slow return of resolution in those blue eyes. Instead, there was a look of...accepted vengeance, an understanding of some sort of metamorphosis. This gave Heyes great concern. Heyes was convinced that Kid not only knew, but accepted the fact that he had just become a gun-slinger.

"Heyes, what did you say to Danny in the saloon just before we left?" Kid said in a quiet voice, void of emotion. His gaze remained on the road ahead, never moving to look at his partner.

Heyes knew he must choose his words carefully. He knew Kid was seeking confirmation, if not approval of the conclusions he himself had reached. Heyes decides to step lightly, temper his responses.

"I just told him we were leaving town."

"What else?"

"That we knew when to throw in a losing hand."

"Uh-uh. What did Danny say?"

"Kid, do you really think it's wise to rehash all this? What's done is done."

"What did Danny say?"

Heyes sighed heavily. He was slow to respond. "He asked me what you were thinking."

"What did you tell him?"

Heyes took to long to answer to suit Kid. "Heyes, what did you tell him?"

"I told him he'd have to ask you... But then I had second thoughts about that and I told him he'd do best not to ask you."

"Anything else?"

"Kid..."

"Anything else, Heyes?"

"Yeah... I told him he should just lay low for a while, that we'd be leaving town real quick."

"That it?"

"Yeah, Kid. That's it."

Kid fell silent again and spurred his horse into the lead. Heyes followed behind, carefully studying Kid's posture, his movements, and all the time dreadfully worried about his partner.

They made camp late, after the sun had begun to set, and still Heyes saw no return of his partner in Kid's icy blue eyes.

Kid built a fire and put on some coffee while Heyes warmed a can of beans. The sun had vanished by the time they sat down and ate in the glow of the flickering fire.

"Kid, it was a fare fight. You didn't start it, Danny started it. You did what you had to do."

Kid nodded as he cradled his coffee cup between his hands and stared into the flickering flames of the fire. "I know," he said quietly.

"Then what's eating at you?"

Kid didn't reply.

"Kid, I'm not trying to be proddy. I'm just trying to understand. Why is Danny Bilson tearing you up inside?"

"It ain't Bilson really. It could have been anybody."

"I don't understand, Kid."

Because of what happened this morning...I'm a gun-slinger now, Heyes... Something I swore I'd never let happen to me."

Heyes closed his eyes and sighed heavily. This, he couldn't change. This he couldn't rectify.

"Alright, so you're a gun-slinger now. Does that change how you're gonna react to the next man that calls you out? Does that mean you're always gonna shoot to kill now?"

Kid didn't answer. He continued to stare into the fire. Then slowly his head began to shake. "No," he said softly.

"So, there you have it, Kid. Yes, Danny put a chink in your armor, he made you see things in yourself that you've likely always avoided looking at, that you might not like about yourself. But Kid, you're stronger than all that. God knows you're more than all that... You're better than all that."

Ever so slowly, Kid's gaze rose above the fire, locking eyes with his partner.

"I knew I could count on you, Heyes," he said quietly. "I knew you'd be able to find...what I couldn't."

Though Kid remained very somber, Heyes did see a subtle change in Kid's eyes, a minute softening, and Heyes smiled. He knew it might take Kid a few days to fully accept what he'd come to know about himself, but Heyes was confident now that Kid would make peace with himself once again. Heyes smiled proudly at Kid and he tilted his head with a subtle shrug.

"That's what partners are for, Kid."