Where was she? It was warm and soft. Her throat hurt. Her head hurt. Her heart was torn. Itachi. Gone. Itachi. Alone, she was alone again. She rolled over pulling the warm softness over her naked body and fell asleep again.

Crackling. A fire. She opened her eyes. He was there by the fire sharpening kunai, white head bent over his task, focused, unyielding. She closed her eyes again, sleep hugging her body once more.

It was cold, she reached for the covers, they were gone. Where were they, she felt around some more, eyes still closed. A hand found hers pulled her naked body to them and wrapped their arms around her, warm, she was warm again. Eyes still closed, she sighed. Soft kisses across her forehead, comfort, it felt...nice. He pulled the blanket back up around them covering their naked bodies. She fell asleep again.

She opened her eyes. Her body ached, she was so tired. Her head, her head hurt. It was dark out. Was it night, or early morning. Had a day passed, or two. Where was she. A bed. The inn? Her room? A body, a man. Itachi? No, he had left her again.

"Sakura." His voice, it is gentle, so soft...different. Warmth enveloped her and eased her pain. A rose can't kiss you back she thought. Her head snapped up.

"Kakashi?" Dull green eyes met vibrant slate with flecks of silver. She sighed , her head dropped back onto his chest, defeated. You can't wrap yourself around a rose at night. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close against her naked body and fell back asleep.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Kakashi?" She woke up to yelling. Sasuke was yelling at Kakashi?

She opened her eyes. Sasuke was standing at the end of the bed yelling at her? No, oh. She looked up to find her wrapped in Kakashi's arms...naked. Oh, she thought, I remember now. It wasn't a dream then. She sighed and dropped her head.

"It doesn't matter Sasuke, I don't even care." She said and closed her eyes against the world.

"But Sakura, he is taking advantage of the situation, of you, are you going to let him do that? He doesn't care about you he just wants to get off!" Sasuke's face was red.

"Then let him, who cares. Itachi isn't here, he left me again." She hadn't opened her eyes when she had spoken but she did now and looked at him from under tear slicked lashes.

Sasuke opened and closed his mouth as if to say more but turned on his heel and left the room. He didn't even have the heart to slam the door.

She had given up. He could see the defeat in her eyes, her dull, lifeless eyes. Itachi was going to pay, he would pay for doing this, this was almost worse than killing her.

She was always so alive , so full of energy, and now, now she was...not. Sasuke clenched his fists and grit his teeth. He wished he would have found out sooner, he should have tried harder, tracked her better, trained better to protect her, had he learned nothing? What had he been doing this whole time, he was a failure again, he couldn't protect anyone he loved.

He slammed his fist into the wall cracking the wood and cutting his hand. He had failed , again. Itachi had hurt another person he loved while he stood by and did nothing. He felt so worthless, he was so ashamed.

"We didn't have sex Sakura, I wouldn't force myself on you." He told her as he held her.

There was that softness again. It sounded so strange coming out in the form of his voice.

"I know." She didn't look up at him.

"I told you I would wait. I will wait." He said into her hair and hugged her close.

"I don't care." She said.

"You don't care now, but you will, give it time." He said.

"I don't care, I don't care about anything." She couldn't even cry, her will had left her.

"I used to think that. I care about you." He told her.

"No you don't, you're just like him." She said evenly.

"I am not the one who keeps leaving you." He said.

"I suppose not." She admitted.

"Do you still love him?" He asked.

"I thought I did. I don't know what it means to love now. I don't care what it means, I don't want to feel. I don't want to talk." She did look at him now and he looked down at her.

"A rose will not make me feel alive again." She said to him

"Let me. Let me make you feel alive again, if only for a moment." His voice was gentle, soft and...safe. He was here, Itachi was not. She would have gone with him. Kakashi's eyes, they were no longer cold.

"What has changed?" She asked him.

"I stopped hiding." He said.

"From who?" She asked.

"From you Sakura, it has always been you." He bent his head down to her and kissed her gently on the lips, almost timidly, he drew back, looked at her face , then kissed her again deeper his hands running down her naked back, their bodies entwined, and she let him.

Morning came in the form of a glare, not the sun's but Sasuke's. He stood at the side of the bed till she opened her eyes and acknowledged him, which took a long time because she just lay there staring right through him.

"What do you want from me Sasuke?" She finally asked him.

"Why would you let him do that to you Sakura?" He asked her

"You're going to have to be more specific Sasuke, your question could be applied to almost anything." She sighed and resisted the urge to turn over and ignore him.

"Why did you let Kakashi hold you all night while you were naked.?" He asked more specifically.

"I didn't know I was naked till you came in yelling." She said. "And when I realized I was naked, I just didn't care."

"What about my brother?" He asked.

"What about him?" She asked him back, she had been tired of this conversation before it had even begun.

"You love him? Why sleep with someone else if you love my brother?" He demanded.

"I thought you didn't want me involved with your brother." She said.

"I don't but that doesn't mean I don't know you have serious feelings for him!" He said voice rising.

"Serious feelings. Sasuke, I don't know if I love him. I thought I had, he has abandoned me twice. I would have gone with him last night if he had asked me, but he told me to go, go back with you and Kakashi. I thought he was a crow, for years. When I found out he was a man, the affections I had for the man were confused with the affections I had for the crow. I don't know if I loved him." She was being honest.

"Do you love Kakashi?" He asked.

"No." She said

"Did you sleep with him?" He asked

"I slept, I don't know if he did. We didn't have sex, that is what you really want to know." She said.

"Do you love me?" He asked her very quietly.

"Not romantically, you are like a brother to me and always will be." She told him truthfully if bluntly.

He nodded once and left the room.

She watched him leave and then went to the bathroom to draw a bath. It was cold and goosebumps covered her naked skin as she waited for the bath to fill.

She didn't know what to feel, so she felt nothing.

Steam filled the room and she breathed it in trying to take deep calming breaths, her chest hurt. She lowered herself into the bath slowly, the water rising up over her skin hot and blissful.

-We could drown, we could drown and no one would know until it was too late. I hear it hurts a lot but our pain would be over, it would be the last time we felt pain and the pain would be nothing to what we feel now-

"I don't feel any pain now." she said to herself

-you do, you are suppressing it, you are ignoring it, it is cutting you up inside, you are bleeding to death, you are dying inside.-

"I don't care." she said to no one

-No, you do care and that is the problem. You care too much, you give too much, you are too alive.-

"Then I will snuff out the light, I will kill the kindness in my heart and I will be a walking dead, a soulless weapon who doesn't feel. I don't want to feel anymore." She said to the steam rising from her bath.

-So that's it, this is the end. It has finally come to this...Our humanity is lost? We have become what Itachi most feared? He tried to save us from becoming this!-

"He is not here." She said.

-And the copy nin is? Will you turn to him for comfort?-

"How can I turn to someone who is already dead to feel alive?" She asked the condensation sliding down the window.

-You are not dead yet-

"I wish I was dead." She said, "It doesn't matter, I don't care." She slipped under the water and tried to forget everything and anything.

He came to her again that night as she lay naked in the bed. His body warm and smooth, strong and safe, arms reassuringly wrapping themselves around her and pulling her to his own nakedness.

"Let me touch you." He ran a hand back and forth over her stomach.

She didn't move. She didn't reply.

"Let me kiss your perfect body." He kissed the back of her neck , slowly, running his tongue over the bottom of her ear.

She closed her eyes and lay there dead to the world.

"Let me make you forget." He pressed his hips against her ass, resting his hands over her ribs.

She had already forgotten. She had already stopped caring. He could do as he wished.

He ran his hands up her stomach to her breast cupping them gently as he kissed her neck and pressed his hardness against her ass and her lower back. He rubbed his palm slowly back and forth , her nipple hardening under his touch.

No sound came from her, no movement , no reaction as he continued to kiss her and touch her body. Pushing her leg forward with his knee he slid his hand from her breast to her hip and gripped it slightly, gently playing with the sensitive skin with his finger tips.

She still hadn't moved, made no form of protest verbal or physical, so he continued down over her hips slowly moving his hand back over her ass and down her inner thigh. He hesitated here, kissing her neck and shoulder, she still hadn't moved, slowly, painstakingly so he ran two fingers up her inner thigh and over her entrance.

She was warm and soft, so innocent. She did move then, a slight shudder ran through her frame and he stopped, did she want him to stop? No protest came so he rubbed his thumb over her clit, slowly, so slowly and gentle and she mewled for him.

Heat rushed to his groin and he growled into her hair trying to control himself. Gentle, he wanted to be gentle with her, he would show her the man he could be. He calmed his breathing, forcing the urge to rip and tear from his blood and closed his eyes to concentrate.

He held his breath as he ran his thumb over her clit again and slid a finger into her warm entrance, she was wet, so wet and it was for him. He grit his teeth to keep from biting her. He let out his breath slowly patiently so he didn't scare her. His finger slid farther into her wet and he found her innocence, evidence he was the first to touch her like this, the first allowed to be this close to her. He groaned and pressed into her back with his body. Out, his finger came out slowly and two more slid in just as slow.

She sucked in a breath, just one and held it, he could feel it against his chest as he held her, his fingers in her, his hardness pressed against her ass, careful, he had to be careful, he had to stay in control. His fingers came back out and his thumb rubbed her clit as he slid his fingers back in touching that spot, the barrier, the last obstacle of her innocence. She moved against him and he bit her neck, he couldn't help himself.

He drew back , took his fingers from her, kissed the bite mark, and pushed three fingers back into her. A small pant escaped her lips and her hand rose to grip his hair, he licked her neck and pressed his fingers harder into her , pressing up against the thin layer of skin keeping him in place inside of her.

"Sakura" He growled desperately into her ear, "Please." He wanted permission, he wanted to do this right. He wanted her to give herself to him freely, he didn't want to steal, he didn't want to take, to force her. He wanted something real, something that was his. It seemed like forever before she spoke.

"Kakashi." His name rolled off her tongue in the gentle whisper he coveted above all others, a voice she had only used when speaking Itachi's name, one that before today killed him everytime he heard it, but this time, now , here, it was his name from her lips, his name in that tone, and he came undone.

He moved on top of her covering her with his naked body, kissing her lips and running his tongue over hers. His body pressed hard over hers as he breathed her in, tasted her mouth, spread her legs with his knee, rubbing his cock against her asking for permission.

"I want you, let me please Sakura, I waited, Please." He was begging her.

She made to open her legs more but stopped.

He was holding his breath.

-DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE! DO NOT LET HIM TAKE YOU LIKE THIS!-

"I can't. I don't know what I want yet. I'm sorry." and she found that she could cry after all.

He let out his breath on a sigh and closed his eyes. Do not force her, get off of her, she needs more time, do not take, do not be a monster. He moved off of her in slow calculated movements, control, he was keeping himself under control.

"I will be here, when you are ready." He lay beside her.

"And if I am never ready?" She asked.

"I will wait." He rose, dressed and left the room, because if he stayed he would take her against her will and ruin everything.

"I will never come to your bed Kakashi, I can not give you that." and she cried, she didn't even know why but she cried, naked and very much alone.

His red eyes watched her, had been watching her, black feathers ruffled in the night.

"Sakura, I didn't want to leave you again. Wait for me, I will come for you. We promised." and he flew away.

Sasuke was reading in his usual chair when she woke the next morning just after dawn. He rose to come sit beside her on the bed with a good morning hug.

"You turned him down. I'm glad." Sasuke said when she sat all the way up, the sheet wrapped around her.

"I almost didn't, not because I wanted him, but because I didn't care, but when he...when he was about to I realized, I didn't know what I wanted. I knew that if I let him, I couldn't let anyone else." She laughed then and he was so happy to hear it.

"Does that make sense Sasuke?" She asked him

"Yes, you can't give your first time to more than one person." He laughed.

She hit him playfully.

"Sasuke, what do we do now? Our mission was to not engage and report on the Akatsuki members but they know we are here and have been following me for months, years Deidara said. What do we do and why are they watching me?" She asked for his opinion.

"The mission continues we just make adjustments to it is all." Kakashi said from the doorway.

"Good morning Sakura." Kakashi greeted her.

"Morning Kakashi." She said.

"Let's go over what we know. Itachi is nearby, Deidara is nearby, Sasori was near by four days ago and there may be other members that we haven't encountered yet. They have been watching Sakura since she was 12 years old give or take a year, Itachi and Deidara had chances to kill her but didn't." He concluded.

"Anything else?" He looked at them.

"Sakura has three presents from Deidara made of his clay, one calls him to her if she rubs her blood on it." Sasuke offered. Sakura gave him an angry look, she hadn't planned on telling Kakashi that.

"Oh? When were you going to tell me about that Sakura?" His eyes narrowed and bore into hers.

-Back to that are we? Fine with me asshole!-

"I wasn't hiding it," She glared at Sasuke" I hadn't had time to show or tell you. I showed Sasuke when I had gotten back from the tree but you had left to hunt Itachi and then, you know it all went to hell remember?" She gave him an equally angry look which he ignored.

"Show me now." He commanded.

She picked up her hoodie from the back of the chair that someone had laid it on and pulled out three small sculptures from it's pocket. One was of her in her henge, another a bird and the last a smaller bird.

"See?" She looked at them fondly and he narrowed his eyes further at her.

"Which is the summoning one?" He asked looking at them suspiciously.

"The smaller bird." She told him.

"Call him." He said.

"What? No. I will never use this, I tried to give it back to him but he wouldn't take it." She said and put it in her pocket.

Kakashi growled and told her again, "Summon him ."

She looked him in the eye, her fire returning, "I will not."

He smiled, then pulled a kunai and stepped, cut, stepped, " call him now."

Her finger was bleeding, " No." She walked over to the wall and wrote "no" on the wall in her blood turning to look him in the eye when she was done.

Kakashi barked with laughter, it wasn't a pleasant sound.

"It doesn't matter, he will come to you, you made an impression on him." He looked her over, sneering, like her was undressing her. "You have that effect on men it seems."

"What the fuck does that mean?" She snarled at him

"Everyone who meets you wants to fuck you is what it means, even Sasuke, though I doubt he would know what to do with you." Kakashi smiles at her.

"Screw you asshole" She spat out at him

"Seemed like you wanted to last night, with those little noises you were making when I touched you, remember Sakura, where I touched you and how you mewled for me, were wet for me?"

He hadn't meant to say it like that or say it at all. If he was honest with himself, he is the one who had lost control last night. He shouldn't have pushed her and now, he was doing this, he was ashamed.

"How dare you talk to Sakura like that!" Sasuke made to step to Kakashi but Sakura was there gripping his arm before he even twitched his hand.

"Don't, he is too fast for you, you would not win that fight." She said.

"And you would ?" He was angry but not at her, she understood.

"I have a better chance than you, but no, I need to train. In fact, if we are done here?" She looks at Kakashi and he nods. "Let's go train Sasuke and get some breakfast."