CHAPTER TWENTY

"It's from St Mungo's, Ron might be waking up soon. But they're going to have to perform some sort of surgery on him tomorrow, and it's a bit dangerous and he…" She swallowed and sat down on the bed. "…he might not make it. I mean, we're hoping for the best, but…"

Neville walked over to her and wrapped her in his arms. Harry offered her a sympathetic look, but felt himself beginning to worry as well. He decided to give Neville and Ginny some space, and walked out to find the rest of the Weasleys huddled together in consternation. He felt cold inside when he saw the expression on Mrs Weasley's face, and Mr Weasley trying to console her, trying to tell her it was going to be alright. He nodded at the twins and Bill and Charlie, but felt that familiar feeling of being out of place when the Weasleys were in commiseration. He walked over to the backyard and found Alexa with a letter of her own.

"Is that from St Mungo's as well?"

She nodded. "Did something come for Ron?"

"Yeah." He sat down next to her. "Is your dad getting the surgery too?"

"Yeah. Most of the people who had cast the curses which had caused torture and trauma to be trapped within people, they died after I killed Voldemort. Those curses began to wear off, so there's no longer any pain for everyone who Sank because of those curses. So, a lot of people will be coming out of their stupor and finally waking up. Unfortunately, the sheer suddenness can be too much. Think of it as being in a dark cave for a million years and then suddenly looking directly at the sun. On a much, much worse level."

"Pain becomes a part of you too long, your body doesn't know what it is without it."

She nodded. He hesitantly took her hand in his and she looked apologetically at him. "Harry, before, when I said I didn't care-"

"It's okay, we don't have to do this right now. Your Dad and Ron have their surgeries in a while, we've both got better stuff to worry about." He hadn't meant it to sound as angry as it had, so he squeezed her hand to take some of the edge off his words.

"I just want you to know I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

He nodded. "So, when's your Dad's surgery?"

"Tomorrow morning at 7. Min's going to pick me up at 6. When's Ron's?"

"In the evening, I think. Or at night, I'm not sure. Listen, can I come with you?"

"You'll be needed here. And you shouldn't miss Ron's surgery. And…" she played with her hands. "Ginny will need you."

"She's got Neville." He cleared his throat. "Besides, I want to be there for you."

She looked searchingly into his eyes for a moment, then looked away, frowning slightly. "You scared?" he whispered.

"A little. I've been prepared for this since I was a kid. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I tend not to feel things immediately…they always hit me a little late." She regarded his face. "You don't look so good though." When he didn't reply, she squeezed his hand tight. "Harry. Hey?"

He wouldn't look at her as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn't even open his mouth. She saw his eyes get wet. "Harry," she lowered her voice, rubbing his arms gently. He expected her to tell him it would be alright, and that things would get better, but he knew she wasn't one to make promises she couldn't keep. She simply lowered his head to her lap gently, with him facing away from her. She stroked his hair the way she had the night before she went to the Forest. He tried to bite back the tears that threatened to spill out of his eyes, but failed. He knew she must have felt that first drop of moisture on her jeans, but she didn't say anything, just stroked him even more gently than before.

"I see her in my nightmares all the time, Alexa. I see Hermione dying and dying and dying. And if I lose Ron, he'll haunt me every night. He's my best friend. He's been with me through everything, he made everything so easy when I knew he was by my side. It's not…been a very nice year. First Sirius and Hermione, then those Killing Curse classes with Snape." He paused. "And then seeing Voldemort kill you. Seeing all of it actually happen in front of me, and not being able to do a thing. I saw that green light leave his wand, and I saw it hit you, I saw where it touched your skin, and I felt my scar burn like it had never burned before."

She shivered, and she felt the skin on her own scar tingle. "I never really thought how hard it must have been for you to see that."

He slowly got up and just stared ahead. "Do you think everything will ever be okay?"

To his surprise, tears welled up in her eyes and she hugged him. She pulled him close to her like she was afraid of letting go. He let the intensity wash over him and hugged her back, gently rubbing her back the way she did. Finally, she reluctantly broke the embrace, very obviously not wanting to lose contact. She kissed his cheek and whispered, "You're a good guy, Harry. Good things will happen for you." She tried to move away from him, but he stopped her and kissed her forehead, and pulled her back into his arms. Something felt different about her, but he didn't want to think about anything apart from the feeling of her in his arms. He felt her tears on his shoulder and he let her cry. After several long moments, he kissed her forehead again. Her face was shining with tears in the moonlight. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "Too agitated to put it in words, I…"

"I understand." This time, she rested her head on his lap and he played unconsciously with her hair. "I wish I had healing powers like you. I wish I could make you feel better the way you did just now when I put my head in your lap."

She smiled up at him. "Well, your pancakes have healing powers."

He laughed. "I could make some tonight, if you want."

"I'd like that. But only if you let me help you."

They set off towards the kitchen, checking on the Weasleys to make sure they were okay. Everybody was sombre and nobody really wanted anything to eat. After everybody left, she handed him the ingredients for the pancakes, and he mixed them in the bowl. He proceeded to flip them, though admittedly not in as flamboyant a fashion as last time. The two of them ate quietly, then cleaned up.

"We should go to bed, it's going to be a long day tomorrow," muttered Harry, briefly remembering how things had ended the last time he'd eaten pancakes with Alexa. But the memory was soon replaced by the sinking feeling in his stomach because of Ron's surgery.

"I don't want tomorrow to arrive. It feels easier now to march off into the Forest to meet Voldemort."

"Facing Voldemort all by yourself always seems easier than real life, doesn't it?" he chuckled.

"Goodnight, Harry."

The next morning, at 5:30, he woke up to find her on the sofa, wide awake. "Did you get any sleep at all last night?" She jumped, and Harry looked apologetically at her. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Slept a bit. Kept waking up though. It's all hitting me now. I don't want to say goodbye."

"Maybe you won't have to. And look, you don't remember it, but you've said goodbye to him before. And I'm here with you, just like last time, and you've got McGonagall as well, and you won't have to do this alone. Are you listening to me? She nodded. "Can I get you something to drink? Or eat?"

"A biscuit would be nice," was all she managed to say, and she nibbled on it once he gave it to her.

If McGonagall was slightly surprised to see Harry accompany them to St Mungo's, she did not express it. Wordlessly, the trio went by Portkey to the hospital. Upon their arrival, they found out that surgery timings had been shifted and readjusted to better suit the patient's natural clock. As a result, they had to wait there for hours, with anxiety eating away at Alexa, Harry trying to comfort her in an attempt to distract himself from his own worry, and McGonagall just trying to keep a brave face. Alexa went in to spend some time alone with her father. She touched his limp body. She'd prepared some sort of goodbye for him, but no words left her mouth, and she left the room to join Harry and McGonagall outside.

After about three hours, the Healers finally said it was time for the surgery to begin. The three of them waited outside the operation theatre in agony, nobody brave enough to speak. Finally, a Healer emerged.

"He's out of danger. He's not awake yet, but he's going to be fine."

Alexa frowned. She got up and walked past the Healer wordlessly, trying to enter the room where her father was, but she wasn't allowed access. "You can't see him just yet, but I assure you, everything will be okay."

Just then, Healer Pomfrey emerged, wrapping Alexa in a tight embrace. "After all these years, you're going to get your father back for once and for all, sweetie," she whispered. She broke the hug and beamed at McGonagall. "Minerva," was all she had to say, before McGonagall let a tear trickle down her face.

Harry smiled and took Alexa in his arms, not knowing what to say but wanting to share her joy. When they broke apart, he let out a yawn, feeling the exhaustion.

"I think I'll go get a coffee. Does anybody else want anything?" he asked.

"I'll come with you," said Alexa. They got the coffee from the witch at the other end of the floor. They walked in silence, Alexa still in disbelief. When they were almost back in front of her father's ward, she smiled up at Harry.

"Thanks for being here with me today. I'm so used to shutting people out of this part of my life. Thanks for showing me I was wrong."

Before he could say anything, he saw Neville.

"Harry, mate. Ron's surgery got preponed. It's going to be in fifteen minutes. We thought you should know." Then he saw Alexa. "Hey, how did it go with your Dad? Ginny's been wondering how you're doing, she was upset she couldn't talk to you last night or be there with you. She said she's sorry. I think she'll apologise properly once everything is over, she's got a lot going on right now."

Alexa nodded. "Dad's out of danger. He's not awake yet. But he'll be fine." She turned to Harry. "Looks like you should get going, huh?" Neville caught the slight tension in the air and turned away, simply saying, "I'll see you at the last ward on the floor just below this one."

Harry looked torn. "You sure you guys don't need anything here?" Alexa took his hands in hers. "Harry. Go." He began to hesitate, so she continued, "I'm not telling you to go for him. I'm telling you to go for your own sake. He's your best friend, and your first friend, and your oldest friend. And I understand all of that, so I'm begging you to just go, okay?"

When he still didn't budge, she squeezed his hands. "Dad's fine. We're fine. I've got Min. I'll be fine. Look, I know you're scared of going there, I know you're scared of all your nightmares coming true. But you have to be there with him right now. Think of how many times Ron's visited you in the Hospital Wing. Come on, Harry."

"None of those Hospital Wing trips were as serious as this, though."

"Oh yeah? How about those times you'd just dealt with Voldemort? Or fallen nearly fifty feet while playing Quidditch? After everything he's been through with you, after all the anxiety you've given him when it comes to your life, now that his is on the line, you've got to be there for him. I think he deserves this much."

He nodded. "You're right. Thanks. Alexa, I-"

"I know. Go."

With one last nod in McGonagall's direction, Harry went down to Ron's room. All the Weasleys were huddled inside. Harry found Ginny and hugged her quickly before looking at Ron. It never ceased to unsettle him how still and quiet his former noisy and energetic friend had become. Finally, it was time. They slowly filed out of the room, Mrs Weasley being the last one to leave. They sat down outside his room, with nothing to do but wait.

An hour or so later, when Alexa sauntered down to check on Harry, she found him sitting alone outside Ron's ward.

"Hey!" she smiled.

"Hey," he replied listlessly. "How's your Dad?"

"Better, better. Still not awake, needs rest apparently. Why he needs rest after he's basically been asleep this whole time I can't understand, but…" her voice trailed off. She frowned.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?" he muttered, not looking at her.

"Harry, where's everyone else? Why are you sitting out here alone?"

"They're in there with him."

"Harry."

"Yeah?"

"Why aren't you in there with them, with Ron?"

He didn't reply, and she grew concerned. She plopped down in the seat beside him.

"Merlin, Harry, what's happened? Something has happened, hasn't it?"

"The surgery didn't work. They tried waking him but nothing worked. They might try just leaving him be for some time and letting him wake up on his own, but for now they've asked us to…say goodbye."

"What the fuck are you doing here talking to me then? Get in there, Harry!"

"I'm not ready."

Alexa sighed. "Harry. If, Merlin forbid, this is the last time you see him, you're gonna regret not being in there with him. Come. Please, Harry. Are you hearing me? Harry?"

The door opened slightly and Neville appeared. "Harry's in a really bad shape, Alexa," he whispered to her, taking her aside.

"Then how could you just let him stay here alone?" she said scathingly. Then she shook her said. "Didn't mean it that way. I know how crazy it must be right now. Look, has Ginny talked to him? She's the only one he'll listen to. Neville-"

But he shook his head. "She asked him once, but she's not in the headspace to talk to Harry right now. She's dealing with her own stuff in there. And I should go back in there and be with her. I'll see you, okay?"

Alexa watched him go back in with exasperation. She sat next to Harry again.

"I'm frustrating you, aren't I?"

She stared at him. "I can't see you like this." She took his hand. "I don't want you to regret this. But I don't want to force you in there." Then she lowered her voice to the hypnotic tone she used while using her healing powers. "Harry, you want to go in there don't you? It'll be alright won't it-"

He pushed her hand away and stood up. "I know what you're doing, dammit! Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. And don't you dare try to hypnotise me into going there to watch my best friend die. You think the nightmares I'm having now aren't enough? Do you want me to spend every night awake for the rest of my life, watching Ron die again and again and again?"

"I don't want to fight with you, Harry. You don't have to go in there if you don't want to." She shivered slightly. It was not like Harry to raise his voice like that. But she could see how visibly shaken he was. She looked at him and she just wanted to save him. But somehow, this time it wasn't as easy as just getting Voldemort to kill her. She had to let him be.

She turned around and decided to walk away. It hurt her to leave him in that state, but she knew her presence was just riling him up. She bit her lip and made her way upstairs, back to Min. Just then, she heard a sob. That was all it took for her to go right back to Harry and take him in her arms. She stroked his back, letting him let out the pain. "I've got you," she kept whispering to him over and over.

Finally, he was silent. Then he stood up. She stood up with him, not taking her eyes off him. "Alexa? What am I supposed to do once I go in there?"

She couldn't believe he was actually going to go inside. "You don't have to do anything. You just have to be there. It's that easy. But it won't be easy. That's why, that's why I'll be right next to you. I've got you." She held his hand. "See. I've got you. See?"

He looked at her hands, at how her fingers were intertwined with his, and he nodded.

They walked into the room together like that, Alexa not letting go of him for a moment. When they were inside, she nodded at Ginny, extending her other hand towards the redhead and wrapping her in a one- armed hug. Harry finally let go of her hand and she wrapped Ginny in completely.

"Do we know how much longer he has?" asked Mrs Weasley.

"I'm afraid we can't know this. Either he'll pass peacefully without warning, or he'll stay asleep in this state a little longer. Of course, he may still wake up, but like I said before, the chances of that remain slim."

So they all stayed like that, the room packed with the Weasleys, Harry, Alexa and Neville, and their tension. Alexa couldn't tell how much time passed like that. And then it happened. Ron moved. It felt like everyone in the room had been holding their breath and they could finally breathe again. "You can try waking him as much as you can but ickle Ronniekins only wakes when he feels like it!" snickered Fred. Everybody laughed along with him, except Harry, who ran out of the room, overwhelmed, unable to take any of it anymore. After checking that Neville was with Ginny, Alexa went after Harry. He'd rushed into the hall, across the floor. She caught up with him and reached him at last.

"Harry!"

He was panting. "Have to get out of here. Please. I need to get away. Please. Take me away."

Alexa considered what he was asking of her. "The Healer said he's out of danger, but needs sleep. Same as my Dad. So I suppose it shouldn't be a problem if you got away for a while?"

He nodded.

"Look, I'll just talk to Min and be right back." When she was back, she offered him her hand.

"Come. I know a place."

A/N: please review!