CHAPTER 18 - Breaking inside
"It was a waste of time!" Mello yelled in his empty room and started scattering the things everywhere. He just came back from his first aikido lesson. It was a huge disappointment. Not the sport itself, that wasn't bad. BUT the teacher wasn't his daddy. He was sure the teacher would be his daddy in disguise, because he told him to take the lessons so they could see each other.
But no.
That man was not his daddy but just some common japanese aikido teacher.
What the hell happened? He asked himself. And threw his small body on the bed.
Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe it was a code and I misread it.
He tried to calm himself down and closed his eyes. He remembered every world from their brief encounter. He was replaying the scene in front of his eyes every day:
-FLASHBACK-
Mello was just looking for Matt, who ran away with his new game pad after lunch, when he spotted a strange man standing at the garden gate of the orphanage. Mello took a few steps closer, he thought it was a homeless person. He wanted to tell him to fuck off, but the closer he got, the more familiar the person seemed to him. And then the man in the hood spoke, with a voice he remembered from his dreams:
"Hi Melly-bean, it's been a while."
Mello was silently examining him, saying nothing. He couldn't believe his eyes… was he really?
"You don't remember me? It's me… your daddy..."
Mello gasped: "Daddy? But you… you didn't die?"
"No Mihael, baby listen to me carefully. Your dad is in danger, we have to help him. I will follow him to Japan and I will try to kill Kira before he gets to your dad, but I need your help. Can you come closer to me? I'll explain everything."
Beyond reached out his hand to the boy. Mello only took a step back, still shocked.
"Don't worry Melly-bean, it's really me. I would never hurt you. Baby listen to me, dad will soon take you to Japan. When you are there, ask him for aikido lessons."
Mello frowned: "But why?"
Then they heard someone calling his name and turned around to see Matt coming. Mello turned back to Beyond, not sure what to do.
"Just do it Mell! And be careful with L!" his daddy shouted and ran away.
-END OF FLASHBACK-
No… aikido lessons were not a code. He meant it literally. There were two options: First, something happened and daddy could not take his plan to the action. And the second, the lessons were part of something bigger and he needed to wait a little longer.
Mello hated waiting. It made his blood boil.
His only hope now was understanding what's going on from the Kira case files. But Matt was still failing to break into his father's code.
Damn, what can be so hard about it? He asked himself and took out his laptop. Maybe I could try myself.
In that moment, the door burst open and Mello jerked in shock.
"Is Near in the bathroom?" his dad yelled and hurried to check.
"No." Mello said, confused.
L was freaking out. His younger son was nowhere to be seen on the cameras. Not in their room, not in his playroom, nowhere in the complex where he could see him. Near was in his playroom before L accompanied Mello to his first aikido lesson, but he wasn't there when he came back. And Watari was out of the building on an urgent matter until a few minutes ago. L's mind started running miles a second again. He saw at least 100 possibilities of what could happen and most of them included Beyond kidnapping the boy.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. It was Watari.
"Have you found him?" L asked nervously.
"Yes. He left the HQs an hour ago with Yagami-kun. They headed to his room. I am already on the way."
L hid his phone back in the pocket and ran out of the room. Mello quickly jumped off the bed and followed him.
"Dad what's going on?" the blonde yelled as they ran through the corridor and then down the emergency stairs two levels.
L finally stopped in front of one door and Watari was coming there from another direction, with a gun in his hands.
Mello was staring at them, scared, didn't understand what was going on.
The men nodded at each other and broke into the room. But both of them stopped in their tracks as soon as they saw the scene in front of them.
Near was sitting crossed legged at the bed, staring at the game board and Light sat across him in the same manner. Both of them turned their heads to the door in shock.
Near tilted his head, analyzing the scene. His father and Watari looked worried, and there was also Mello, looking through the door frame. He quickly realized that he didn't tell anyone where he was going and they were probably worried. If they were this worried, it also meant that Yagami-kun didn't have cameras in his room. But it didn't explain why would Watari come to look for him with the gun.
Are they worried Yagami-kun might hurt me?
All those thoughts came across Near's mind within 2 seconds and he turned to analyze Yagami's face. His features showed shock, but only for a brief moment. Then, he looked angry, and then he composed himself and smiled: "Hello Ryuzaki, Watari and Mello."
Watari hid his weapon and L made his way to the bed, standing behind Near and running his hand through the white curly hair: "Are you alright?"
Near nodded: "Ofcourse I am. Yagami-kun is teaching me how to play Shogi."
L smirked and looked at Light: "Is he?"
Light smiled back: "I am sorry Ryuzaki, I didn't realize you might be worried. I should have texted you."
L nodded, apparently much calmer than before: "So who is winning?"
Light smiled: "Your son, ofcourse."
"But the game is challenging. Detective Yagami is a very good opponent." Near said calmly.
L chucked: "Okay, time to go Near."
"Why can he spend time with the task force and I can't?" Mello asked from the door where he was standing.
Light lifted an eyebrow: "I can play with you too, if you wish."
Mello rolled his eyes: "I don't care about some stupid game."
L tilted his head: "Good, then you don't need to spend your time with the task force."
Mello started arguing that he wants to help with the investigation and do something useful, but L was not listening to him this time. He had his mind full of Light, spending time with Near. He simply nodded to Watari to take the boys to their room.
Near slowly climbed off the bed and bowed to Light: "Thank you for the game, Detective Yagami."
Light laughed at that: "I am not really a detective, Near. You can just call me Light if you want to." Then he looked at Mello: "Same goes for you, Mello."
Mello did not say a thing and Near smiled shyly: "Good night then, Light."
Watari took the boys away, but left the door open to keep Light under the impression that he could hear him and come back anytime.
As L and Light alone, the detective blurted: "Even I can't call you just Light." Then he realized how jealous it sounded and scolded himself internally.
Light's features lightened up with a smile. He stood up from the bed and came closer: "You can call me just Light if you want to."
L shook his head as he wanted to save the situation. But he was aware that he was losing control more and more each day: "That would probably raise too many questions."
Light was still slowly approaching him: "And what? Let them ask. I have no problem telling the task force."
L bought his thumb to his lips and tilted his head: "Telling them what? That we had an affair?"
Light smiled: "That I love you. And I am waiting for you, to be ready to love me back."
L's eyes widened and his hand fell down from his lips:
Did he just tell me..?
Did he really...?!
His heart was racing in his chest. He couldn't believe it.
Light loves me!
He really loves me!
L found his last pieces of self control, brought his hands back to his pockets and eyed the carpet: "Light you can't tell them that, that would be highly unprofessional."
Light's eyebrow shooted up:
He is not arguing?
He believes me?!
Gods it's working!
I am winning him back!
Light stepped even closer: "And you want us to be professional in front of them, right?"
"Yes..." L said silently.
"And when we are alone?"
L opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He was only staring down to his feet. That was enough confirmation for Light, he placed his fingers under L's chin and slowly lifted it up, so he could see his eyes. And those big grey eyes were wide opened, scared but full of anticipation at the same time. Light slowly caressed L's cheek with his thumb and started leaning in. He wanted to give L enough time to back up.
But that did not happen.
The detective closed his eyes even before their lips touched. It was just a brief caress of lips but it sent shivers through all of L's body. Light pulled back a little. He wanted to be sure he didn't cross the line, but when L's eyes stayed close, he brought his hand behind detectives neck and pressed their lips together again. This time he started moving his lips slowly against L's and waited for his lover to respond.
And L did.
He parted his lips and started moving with him, deepening the kiss.
Light finally relaxed and his eyes closed too. He tangled his fingers with L's hair behind his neck and the other hand went to the detective's waist, pulling him slowly closer.
When they were pressed together again, after almost a month L felt like he could faint. He wanted this for so long. He wanted Light to kiss him, touch him, hold him every night. Whisper the sweet nothings to his ear. He wanted to be home in his arms.
But he knew he couldn't. Not yet.
The moment when Light pushed more and slid his tongue into L's mouth, L's brain started working again and he drew back from the kiss. But he stayed in his lover's arms.
Light opened his eyes with fear of what's gonna come.
L was staring at him with wide eyes, breathless, but he did not push him away.
"Too soon?" Light asked hesitantly.
L nodded. That was all he could do. He just gave Light more than he should have and he could only hope that Light will still continue in his efforts towards him.
Light slowly brought his head down and rested his forehead against L's, their noses almost touching: "I dont wanna push you into anything. I just miss you so much." Light told him and he meant it.
L wanted to scream: I miss you too, I want you, I love you!
But he needed to hold back: "I should go."
Light pulled away and looked disappointed: "If you wish to…"
L suddenly felt pain in his chest and he wanted to hug Light tightly and never let go of him. Instead he turned to leave.
Light was watching L's back with sad eyes, but L suddenly stopped at the door and turned to him again: "Light, thank you for the dinner yesterday. And also for Near."
Light smiled softly: "Anytime."
L left the room and closed his door behind him.
When Light was alone, he was not sure if he should be happy, about the kiss and L trusting him, at least a little, or sad that L did not say the words back to him. But in the end, L never worded his feelings. Not a bit, so maybe Light would want too much too soon, if he wanted to hear: I love you, back.
Light stopped at that, and it finally smacked him like a Shinkanzen in full speed:
Did I really tell him I love him?!
Oh God… I did!
The morning after was strangely calm in the headquarters. No squeaking Misa, no stupid Matsuda and no defending sister. The task force was silently working on their tasks and Light occasionally slid his chair next to L's to discuss some important matter. But he mostly did it just to touch the detective or smell his unique scent. L smelled like autumn, fresh apple juice and cinnamon. Light found that amusing, because those were things he loved. He even considered the possibility that he is simply projecting these things into L's smell. But everytime he leaned closer to the detective and the scent invaded his lungs, he knew it was real.
Real and damn addictive!
L did not object against Light's closeness, which was a good sign. So Light was stealing small touches good half a day and couldn't help but grin like an idiot. He even caught L smiling at him 2 or 3 times.
So… romantic dinner, game with your son and love confession. That's what you need to melt.
KT was right after all, you do have a romantic soul.
Light smirked at the thought. He was standing by the coffee machine and he glared at L's back in amusement. Then his eyes slid across the room, to check on the rest of the task force but stopped at the big noticeboard behind KT's desk.
Wait a second…
He frowned and made a few steps closer, examining the photos again. KT was pretty much systematic. She had a photo of every of Birthday's "murders" pinned at the board in the exact order. Precisely as they went in time. There were 26 photos already. That meant 26 people found death and arranged by Beyond Birthday into a curled ball or a straight line. Light was glaring at the photos with wide eyes and couldn't believe what he saw:
A dot.
A dash.
He gasped and hurried to find a piece of paper. He took it from his desk and went back to KT's board. He quickly started writing down the code.
Light's movements drew the attention of the rest of the team.
L stood up and came closer: "What's going on Light?"
Light didn't say a thing and stared at the dots and dashes on the paper. It was saying: "...-...-.-.-...".
Light frowned, let out a sigh and turned to L: "Nothing, sorry. For a moment I thought I saw a morse code in the way the bodies are assembled but I was wrong. It doesn't make any sense."
L took the paper with dots and dashes from Light and compared it with the photos on KT's board.
"I see…" he let out and turned to Light: "It's a good idea but it doesn't make any sense without space marks. Like this we cant recognize where the latter starts and where it ends." L said and dismissed the idea. It was a little too primitive for Beyond anyway.
"I believe we have space marks." Chief Yagami said and everyone turned his attention to him.
"I beg a pardon?" L said and tilted his head.
Chief Yagami sat down at his computer and started searching for something.
"There are another series of strange murders going on, but outside of Tokyo. The offender hangs up his victims by hands and undresses them. I wasn't considering this earlier because it doesn't fit Birthday's blood thirst but if I am right…" there was a moment of silence, when the chief was frowning into his computer.
"If you are right, the dates of these murders will fit somewhere between BB's murders and will create the space marks we are looking for." L said and turned to his computer:
"Watari?"
"Yes, Ryuzaki?" the voice came from the intercom.
"I need you to download complete police records about these murders. I want to know what was the cause of the death of these people."
"Of course Ryuzaki."
L shifted his attention back to chief Yagami, who was writing something down on the paper: "I have the dates of murders from the newspaper. But they did not publish any photos."
They all moved back to KT's board.
"It doesn't matter. If we know that all the bodies were in a vertical position it creates perfect space marks." Light said and grabbed green sticky notes from KT's desk. Chief dictated him the dates and Light wrote them down. One date on each green piece of paper. Then he quickly searched the dates of murders on the board and placed the green papers between photos in the right order.
L grabbed the paper with morse code Light wrote down minutes ago, and drew dividing lines between dots and dashes.
The message was saying: ...-|...|.-.-.-|-...|...|
L frowned and brought his thumb to his lower lip.
"What does it say Ryuzaki?" Chief Yagami asked. They were all full of expectations.
L slowly turned the paper to them and watched their reactions. Mogi and Aizawa seemed lost and Chief Yagami frowned: "I do remember the morse code alphabet quite well but it doesn't seem like any of the letters I know… so we were wrong after all."
"No we weren't." Light told him as he was examining the paper: "These are not letters. These are numbers."
L nodded: "Yes. But we can't make much of them yet."
"What do you mean? What does it say?" Aizawa asked.
"35.65" Light told him.
"35.65?" Aizawa repeated and raised an eyebrow: "What does it mean?"
"Could it be a telephone number? Or address?" Mogi theoretize.
L took the paper with morse code and went to sit down back to his chair. Everyone was looking at him curiously. He was examining the code for a moment, biting on his thumb before saying:
"I think these are going to be coordinates."
Light nodded: "That makes sense. Especially with that dot between 35 and 65. But it's not enough to know where he is pointing to."
"No it's not." L said with a frown.
Aizawa was full of disappointment at the moment: "So now what? We will wait until he kills more people so we can read the message?"
L turned to his computer so he didn't have to face him, because he really needed to roll his eyes: "B is not really killing anybody, remember? He's collecting bodies."
"That's not exactly extenuating circumstances." Aizawa said.
L rolled his eyes again and had to hold on his chair so he doesnt bark at him what he really thinks: Hell I know, its not that I'm playing the devil's lawyer I am just fucking pointing the facts!
L composed himself within a second: "We will wait until tomorrow, when KT and Matsuda come back from the mission. Maybe they managed to find some clue to speed it up. But otherwise..."
"We have to wait until Birthday finishes the message." Light finished the sentence where L left off.
Author's note:
You might notice in chapter 7, I described Light's scent as "strawberries and whipped cream" and now L's as "autumn and fresh apple juice". Many authors write this opposite, because strawberries are typical for L and apples for Light. But I like the idea that they actually smell what they like, on the other. And that makes the other even more attractive. ;)