Hunger is a horrid thing that Wei Wuxian is familiar with in all capacity. He knows of the hunger of war and the crave of revenge. How power is an endless thirst that cannot end as it caresses the heart. He knows of the hunger for companionship and the touch of another human to warm a soul. He knows the hunger of fire as it blazes and feasts on everything just so it can grow and live. A pure need not malicious but just is. The empty beauty of when those last embers die on the ground and all that's left is ash and memories. Of the starved nature of the cold and how it numbs everything because it like fire wants the world and will destroy through a tight grip that doesn't see its strength. He knows of a hunger deeper than any that lives in the broken to be understood and accepted.
The craving for peace and happiness to moor the pain that has chipped away at them with time to create the creatures they call adults along with the salivating idea of play and innocence. There's the desire for wealth and objects and the lust of the body. There is hunger in everything and he has known it all and the deepest well in which it lies.
Wei Wuxian his very experienced with hunger and the one he's dealing with right now is the most basic and yet annoying one them all. "Fuck, I wish I wasn't so broke," The growl of his stomach crinkling the joy of being alive as he continues to ride. Mo Xuanyu had been penniless with nothing but the clothes he wore and this stubborn donkey he has to prompt with an apple just to get them to move. This body was already skin and bones and he'll admit he can't remember ever feeling so starved.
Two days and only a bowl of rice someone had been kind enough to offer him along with the apple he's prompting this little beast with. He leaned forward on the saddle letting out a sigh, "At this rate, I'll starve to death before I get that boat. Or a meal."
Even when they were poor in Yiling they had ways of making sure they could at least have a meal. He needs a hunt or something to get him along but everywhere seems fine, but he hears rumors about things going on at Rice Mountain which makes his stomach growl louder. Eating resentment is something he could attempt if he gets desperate enough, but he's gone down that road once and it didn't necessarily end well for him.
No matter how sweet and delectable the taste had been on his tongue and the warm thrum of his blood. Done. He's done with that. The problem before had been he'd let himself go too deep into the hellscape of resentment. From here on out he was staying to the skirts of its darkness unless needed. There's no need to become a god. No need to be anything with his body but what he's dreamt of for years.
It feels good. It feels wholesome. He forgot how warm skin could feel with the sun on it or the feeling of sweat glistening. It's gross but relieving and it be a lie to say he didn't love having a human hunger pain or tiredness in his bone from malnutrition. That itching from dirty clothes and caked makeup, that he'd reapplied once he saw his face was a giant messy bruise, had been fun after never feeling in death or not being able to feel that because his appearance had been a mere simulacrum of humanity. Underneath all those parts of the monster sat just under his skin waiting to pop and tear away the cage.
He doesn't feel it. Not an ounce of movement telling him he'll sprout horns or whatever again. "Still, will admit not having to worry about freezing at night was convenient but you can't have everything."
Jiang Wanyin will admit that he spoils his nephew a bit too much. He is both incredibly strict and harsh and all the same lean in letting Jin Ling be a brat. He's just not good with people let alone children which is why he was happy that the kid was finally old enough to be a dog. He can read people well enough but he can only speak when there aren't words fucking up the path. Was is ridiculous to set out over a hundred nets on one mountain top just to ensure Jin Ling's hunt went well.
Obviously. But also how is he supposed to say "I'm worried about your safety because you're a fucking child and the only family I have left"?
It's easier to just mutter, "Don't fuck up," and call it a day. He's annoyed though. All day he's infuriated with this stinging in his chest like Zidian that has been crawling up his neck. It doesn't feel like something bad is coming but he feels on edge like he should be expecting something and he'll know it when he sees it. Jiang Wanyin trusts his wolf half and the instinct it provides. He trusts that it will tell him what to expect and what is wrong as it often has.
He fidgets angrily as his disciples inform him they've set the nets and have readied for the hunt which is good but he just- god he hasn't felt this in almost a year. His gums are itching his skin is goose-bumped with both anticipation and sweat. "Shut up. I'm going for a hunt."
"Sir, we're just about ready."
"I'm going on a different hunt," Jiang Wanyin's been told that his eyes will spark when he's like this and many have thought it was a power of Zidian that causes this but that's completely off base. It's simply the collar makes him feel better about the curse he's living with.
He controls it, yes, but he'll remember those words she used to say about forgetting the original shape and he doesn't want to forget that he forgot that long enough to get stuck with gray hair when he broke through Wei Wuxian's magic. He has to be vigilant and firm otherwise it will take over and Zidian is a good reminder.
Not yet. Not just yet. He has a lot to do before he can finally just give in.
Clothes set aside and his let down he feels that part laugh inside of his chest. Hunting as a cultivator is fun but this is his real joy. A guilty pleasure to revel in as the claws and fangs burn with a comforting heat and his skin blooms in fur the tail breaking in a red wet appendage before dressing itself. He's on all fours tongue lolling as he takes in the scent of the woods.
A paw touches the ground and then he's running. Blasting through the woods with a speed unprecedented as he takes in the scent of a deer. He'll enjoy this great. Zigging and Zagging along the tree line scenting it in the air as he tries to figure out where.
Instinct tells him to go right and he follows he stalks and chases it down the river enjoying it all when he spots his prey leaning down for a drink. Lovely. His tail wags as he readies to pounce but he stops- not yet- not yet- no- now!
He jumps down and bites in tearing flesh and snapping the neck rendering the poor dear dead. A meal is served and he's ready to eat with gusto, but then Jiang Wanyin spots someone hiding in the distance behind a tree.
And they're screaming frozen in fear biting into their hands to muffle the sound. He gets. He's a giant wolf and this isn't the first time or the last time but he does know it reminds him of someone he doesn't ever want to see again. His teeth grind into the bones snapping them satisfyingly. Whoever it is they're having a panic attack and he tilts his head so he can see better.
A rogue cultivator who's practically skin and bones. That face is covered in horrible makeup giving them a ghastly appearance but he notes their staring at the deer carcass along with him. Something about them is unsettling in a way that itches but given their awful appearance it makes sense. Fear aside. Fear is normal and expected but there is just something about him...
He huffs and rips off a leg to run away with and the man does indeed run up when he's out of sight completely the corpse absolutely ecstatic. Either this guy that bad or unlucky because he's never seen a cultivator look so pathetic.
Itchy. Something about them makes his skin itch and he doesn't like it. Ears setting back as his tail swishes back and forth. What's this guy's deal?
Annoying. It's only been a minute but he already thinks the man is annoying. He's not doing anything but he's already so suspicious. He'll be keeping an eye out; he thinks as he leaves with his leg. However long he spends running and enjoying himself it's not enough before he realizes he has to go back. It's never long enough. It's never the run or hunt he truly needs.
It's never… God, how is he still not over her? How is he still not over a nameless woman from his youth?
He can't find anyone like her out there. No one. Not even among the other hounds. She was special and understood. She was in between it all and reveled in it and he wishes she was still here but dogs have short lives.
Even shorter when impaled on a sword.
If she was here he's certain she'd get along Jin Ling. She would have gotten along with all his family but that's the past. This is now. He slips back into uniform and straightens out ready to go back to being a proper sect leader. He can't wait to see Jin Ling prove himself to everyone else.
But his rage that all the nets are cut and that scrawny insulting Jin Ling and that Baihu Lan Wangji cutting all the nets has his bloody singeing. But the thing that sets him ablaze is the knowledge that this apparent Mo Xuanyu is a demonic cultivator and the itching at that realization is so intense he feels he'll start spitting lighting or sprouting fur.
All of it- just all of- "Either capture the monster or don't come back at all."
There he goes again. Anger in his words that cut into his nephew's face and a sigh on Jiang Wanyin's lips as he realizes his mistake. He's not good with humans. No, he's consistently terrible and the look on Jin Ling's face says everything. What a mess.
Mess? Mess is an understatement! Mess is the restrained way of describing the situation Wei Wuxian is in at the moment. Genuine clusterfuck is the proper terminology. His original plan was to blend in with all the rogue cultivators and simply get the reward and move on. It hadn't seemed like anything too dangerous or a big deal but oh no life continues to shit in his empty bowl.
Everyone who could either possibly know him as Mo Xuanyu or everyone he wanted to avoid more than ever is here and he can't even get away. At least Jiang Cheng doesn't recognize him and thinks he's just a mad demonic cultivator.
Fuck. What was he doing being a dog of all things? A fucking dog!
At least Jin Ling just… hates him. How could he insult Shije like that? How could he hurt Jin Ling in the first moment they met? It's all a clusterfuck.
But the biggest fuck is Lan Wangji who refuses to let him slip away now that they've made eye contact. Gosh, any movement and those cat eyes follow him. It feels like the man might eat him, "Hanguang-Jun thank you but would you please let me go."
It's still there. Wei Wuxian can feel it. It's still… you'd think dying would break that kinda shit- but then again it is soul binding so if the bond is between souls and not flesh and those are theoretically immortal even if subjected to reincarnation. Look, it's complicated and Wei Wuxian was really hoping to stay dead and come back to this whole complicated nature of life stuff in like a few centuries not thirteen fucking years.
"Mn." Lan Wangji's grip is even tighter, and he looks to the juniors from Mo village for help. Please get him out of this! His worry only deepens when he feels a nose lightly sniff at his hair and a light growl. How is he is supposed to react to this?
He's saved by the one with the rabbit pendant on his ribbon, Lan Sizhui he thinks, coughing into his fist, "Ah- Hanguang-Jun perhaps Mo-gongzi and you would be able to properly get to know each other at the inn after the hunt."
The glare in the man's eye as he hesitantly lets go. Okay, think how would an insane cut-sleeve react to whatever the fuck that was? "Tonight. Or else."
I don't know? Are they into this shit? I mean, it's not a horrible look for Lan Zhan. I have certainly seen worse and he is supposed to be insane.
He's got to get away now while everyone is hunting. From now on he's just taking odd jobs and moving because there's no way he hasn't noticed. Not if Wei Wuxian feels the old spell sitting there. For, now though he needs to play the madman so he leans in and looks at the stripes.
"Oh my! Hanguang-Jun your make up is so nice! Ah, mine always looks so dreadful. I try looking like a crane only to end up so drab but you make it all so elegant."
"You could wash it off if it bothers you so much," the less formal of the juniors, Lan Jingyi -he hopes that's right- says, "Especially with how awful it looks."
Wei Wuxian cups his face and cries, "Ah but then all the men would see how ugly my face is and I could never marry a man as pretty as one of you boys."
"I'm sure it's not that bad," Lan Sizhui assures but oh it is. Wei Wuxian is damn sure that Mo Xuanyu got his face beat to fuck and back just before calling his soul. Lan Wangji's intensity has lessened and he takes it as his chance to flee only to be pulled back.
"Hunt with us," Lan Wangji's claws dig into his wrist. Fuck!
If he tried he could control Lan Wangji's will and give him an order. Simply tell him to let go and not pursue. Simply… he can't do that- he can't bind another's will he just has to slip out the old fashioned way.
"Ah, but my cultivation skills are lacking compared to such fine men. I would be in the way. Besides I came here to wish on the goddess statue the people speak about."
"What kind of wish could a lunatic have worth granting?"
"Ahhhh if you tell it doesn't come true," He yells and bites his lips, "Besides such children were to hear this- why I could never go to a temple for wanting such a thing."
The intensity in that stare and leaned back position of the ears. "I insist you come."
I am so dead
"Well, if such beauty asks how do I say no?"