23. Ousted
"Things are getting serious around here."
Tonks and Kingsley were eating lunch together in the Great Hall, where there was an entire mass of students and teachers. It was loud, and the commotion was uproarious, so they were able to have an in-depth talk about the disastrous Order meeting that had taken place two days ago without being overheard.
"I don't want to think that there's a spy," Kingsley told her sadly. "We need the Order to work together, I don't want someone to be betraying us."
"I feel the same way," she said wistfully. "Who do you think it could be?"
"I don't want to misjudge," Kingsley explained. "I don't want to believe that someone is the spy and then realize that they're not. But I have my suspicions."
She nodded. She wasn't planning to tell him who she suspected, once she actually thought everything through.
The obvious was either Mundungus or Elphias. The two of them were the most closely involved in this dilemma. Was it possible that they had fooled the Veritaserum, or replaced it somehow? Or they were telling the truth, just in some misconstrued way.
Then there was Hestia, who had been so intent on accusing her. Another common technique. Blaming someone else to reduce the amount of suspicion on yourself. But as much as she hated Hestia, she knew that there was nothing else that pointed to Hestia being the spy.
Snape? She didn't like him much, either, but Dumbledore had some reason to trust him. Hmm. Something that he refused to tell anyone else. Was it that important that it had to be secret? Or was there even a good reason to trust him in the first place? Maybe, maybe not.
Emmeline and Arthur, who were dragged into it because they were thought to have had the guard duty schedules. Had they bewitched the roster to make it seem like Mundungus and Elphias had the shift all along? Theoretically, very likely. She didn't want to think that one of them had been the spy. Emmeline was very friendly, and Arthur himself had been attacked. But, as Remus had said, you shouldn't judge based on emotions. Deduce based on the facts.
Dedalus? Arabella? Sturgis? She didn't really know them all too well, so she couldn't say for sure.
Which brought her to the people she knew and trusted the most. Remus. Sirius. Mad-Eye. Kingsley. Molly. People who had been caring, supportive, even loving. She hoped with all her might that none of them had betrayed the Order. She didn't know if she could bear it if they had.
"I just…" Kingsley said, frowning, "I just think that we need a healthy atmosphere of trust. Not one where we can't trust anyone. Now nobody's telling anybody anything, in case the person they're talking to is the spy."
"I dunno, don't you feel like this could all just be a Death Eater plan?" she asked hesitantly. "They're trying to pry us apart so that it'll be easier to manipulate us. Or they take advantage of our mistrust. You know."
He nodded thoughtfully. "I agree. I wouldn't put it past them. But it still remains to be seen who the spy is."
"So you think there is a spy?" she asked.
"Most likely," Kingsley responded, taking a bite of his sandwich. "It still doesn't explain why there was a mix-up with the guard duty, does it?"
"I guess not," she agreed. "But I still don't like it. The Order was doing well for a while."
"Yeah, well, the Death Eaters play dirty, Tonks," he reasoned. "Brew up trouble in the opposition so that they're in a weaker position… It definitely sounds like something they'd do."
"You think the spy told You-Know-Who that we need to break up the momentum?" she suggested.
He nodded. "Or You-Know-Who could have planted the spy just to break it up. The spy hasn't necessarily been working for the Death Eaters this entire time."
"Yeah. Sturgis was Imperiused, but he got caught by the Ministry," she added.
"Yeah. Imperius Curse."
Their dark conversation was definitely being offset by the more cheerful atmosphere around them, so Tonks decided to change the subject. "So how's Misha?"
"She's doing fine," Kingsley said. "Thanks for asking. My daughter, Reina, has been learning to write, so Misha's taking time off to help her with that."
"Very nice," Tonks mused, smiling at the thought that, despite the war, it was still possible to have a family that you could go home to and be happy with. "I'm really happy for you guys."
"Thanks," said Kingsley, smiling as well. "How're your parents?"
She sighed. "I haven't spent a lot of time with them recently, actually. I've written, they've written, and I've popped in here and there, but I've just never found the time to go spend quality time with them. I know, it's all excuses, of course. Once we get out of here, I'm going to put that at the top of my list."
Kingsley chuckled. "Excellent decision making, Tonks."
She snorted. "Thank you."
Just then, Ginny came up to her, holding a scroll of parchment in her hand. "Auror Tonks?" she asked, stifling a giggle. "I've been told to give this to you."
Tonks accepted it from her with a polite, "Thank you, Ginny," knowing very well who it was from. Only one person bothered to send messages like this.
"All right, Kingsley, I'll be back," she said lightly, jumping out of her seat.
"Talk to you later," he said, waving as she walked casually to Dumbledore's office, reading the message on the way. Nothing unordinary. Nymphadora, we need to talk. The password is 'sherbet lemon'. Albus.
She dictated this to the annoying stone gargoyles that guarded Dumbledore's study, which in turn granted her access into the office.
The revolving stone steps took her to the door, on which she knocked.
"Come in," came Dumbledore's voice.
So she entered. "Good afternoon, Professor. You called me?"
"Indeed I did," Dumbledore said, his expression unreadable. "Have a seat."
She seated herself in the chair directly across from Dumbledore, who seemed to be observing her closely.
"Is there anything you wish to tell me, Nymphadora?" he asked finally, in a grave voice.
The question took her by surprise. "Nothing that comes to mind," she replied, tilting her head to the side slightly, perplexed.
He nodded. "Let me make myself clearer. Is there anything you wish to tell me regarding the treason of the Order of the Phoenix?"
"Well, sir, I have my suspicions, but none of them are confirmed." It seemed like the best answer to give.
He gazed into her eyes, his face blank. "As it so happens, so do I. But I believe that my suspicions are extremely likely to be accurate. I would like to share them with you."
She nodded, indicating that he should continue.
"You are betraying the Order of the Phoenix."
A million emotions flashed through her mind, all at once. She wasn't sure how to feel, let alone what to say. Her brain was numb. She froze in her position, unable to control her thoughts.
At last, words found her. "Y-you think I'm the spy?"
"I don't think," Dumbledore said, "I know."
Panic dominated her feelings. This was wrong. It had to be.
"Sir," she began cautiously, "if this has anything to do with what Hestia…"
"I had my suspicions long before Miss Jones had hers," he replied gravely.
"But surely," she cried, "this is a mistake! I haven't betrayed the Order, I have not been in contact with Death Eaters at all… W-what makes you say I have?"
"I'm afraid," he said, "that I have the whereabouts of every single Order member during the six-hour period prior to Voldemort's raid at the Ministry of Magic. Except for yours."
"Professor," she began, "I can explain. I was in your study when I received an owl saying…"
"I don't want to hear your excuses," he cut in, "however true they may sound. Every single other Order member was either at Grimmauld Place, in my own study, or at the Burrow. Their locations and what they were doing at the time are accounted for. Yours is not."
"So?" she demanded. "You don't even want to know where I was! Is this how you single out people? The spy could be anyone!"
"Speaking of being anyone," Dumbledore countered, "that is something that you can do. Be anyone. You could easily have morphed into anyone when you contacted the Death Eaters. You could've taken any person's appearance and blamed them for it."
"I don't believe this," she raged. "First Hestia, now you?! You're doubting me because of my abilities! Because of what I can do! You should doubt someone based on what they actually end up doing, not what they can do!"
"I'm afraid all of the signs point to you," Dumbledore concluded. "Which means that you will be leaving the Order."
She stared, dumbstruck. No. No. This was a joke. This was all a cruel joke. Any second Dumbledore would start laughing and pat her on the back and offer her a Chocoball.
But he didn't.
"No!" she announced fiercely, knocking many little antiques off of a desk in anger. "I'm not leaving the Order! This is my job and I do it well! I fought You-Know-Who himself only two days ago!"
"I do not doubt your abilities, Nymphadora, in fact, they only prove my point further. No doubt you would be a brilliant asset for the Death Eaters."
"So this is your game?" she shouted. "You take someone who's good at what they do and claim that they're a spy because they would be a good asset to the opposition? This is utter rubbish!"
"This is mere logical deduction," Dumbledore responded, "and it is not the basis of my accusation. It is a minor detail."
"Minor detail? Minor detail?! The fact that I'm good is a minor detail?!"
"In the scheme of things, yes," he replied, calmly as ever. "The fact remains, however. You have been betraying the Order of the Phoenix. And if I let you go from the job, you would not hesitate to tell the Death Eaters everything you know, I'm sure."
"How dare you!" she seethed. "How dare you accuse me of pettiness like that! How dare you accuse me of treachery!"
"I'm afraid," he continued, showing no sign that he had heard her, "that I will have to wipe all of your memories of the Order."
She staggered back, as if she had been hit with a lead weight. "No…"
It would mean that she would lose all memories of the people she loved. She wouldn't know that Sirius was innocent, she wouldn't know Molly besides being Charlie's mother, she… It hit her like a truck. She wouldn't even know Remus.
Over the past year, she had gotten to know these people so well, she was at the point of considering them family. Even Mundungus. Even Hestia. Even Snape. She had been crushed to think that she would lose one of them because they were the spy, but never had she expected that she would lose all of them because she was thought to be the spy.
"Professor Dumbledore, you can't," she pleaded, misery quickly overtaking the fury inside her. "Please, please, no."
"Why not?" asked Dumbledore. "It's the most sensible thing to do. We can't afford to have you running around exposing our secrets. I would need an extremely good reason not to."
She bit back a retort and held in her tears. "Would you accept it if I said love?" She loved Sirius. She loved Remus. She loved Molly, and Kingsley, and Mad-Eye. She loved them too much to lose them. She loved them too much for them to lose her.
His eyes softened slightly. "Love?"
"Love," she repeated. "I promise you."
He sighed. "I'm sorry, Nymphadora, but that won't stop you from revealing the Order's secrets, will it?"
"Put some sort of enchantment on me," she suggested in desperation. "That I can't tell anyone about the Order. Anything. Just please don't modify my memory."
He sighed again. "Very well. Do you swear that you will, in no way, communicate about the Order in any form, to any person, object, or organism that is not a part of the Order?"
"I… I swear it," she replied, her voice breaking, and he waved his wand to seal the bond.
"You will be physically unable to break this bond," he stated. "So I do not need to worry about it being broken. Now, you have two days to gather your belongings from headquarters. I will also need you to return all material from the Order of the Phoenix that is currently in your possession. You may choose to tell anyone already in the Order, it is your decision. I will, however, not tell lies when people inquire about your vacant spot from Order meetings henceforth."
She couldn't believe this was happening. Only minutes ago she had been talking to Kingsley over sandwiches, and now she was being ousted from the Order. She was being ousted from the Order. It sounded unreal, like words that didn't belong being smashed together into a sentence. But it was happening. She was leaving the Order.
"Yes, sir," she said feebly.
He nodded. "Well, that ceases the matter. There is nothing more to discuss. Have a nice day."
Oh, how she wanted to kill this man! In a matter of minutes, he had wrongly accused her of being a spy, removed her from the Order, and forbidden her to speak of the organization ever again, and here he was, acting as though they had just had a pleasant chat with tea? Have a nice day?!
She nodded stiffly and exited the room, going straight to Umbridge's classroom. She needed to get to Grimmauld. As soon as she could.
Umbridge was in the middle of a Defense Against the Dark Arts class, and she knew she shouldn't intrude, but her heart was pounding and her headache was growing constantly worse.
"Nymphadora!" Umbridge greeted as she entered the room. "Is there something you need?"
"Yes, Professor," she said softly, making her way through the neatly arranged desks. "I'm not feeling well at all, would it be alright if I went home and took some rest?"
"Yes, Nymphadora," Umbridge assented. "You do look like you've seen a ghost. Is something the matter?"
"No, no, I just have a headache," she lied blatantly. This seemed to satisfy Umbridge.
"Very well then, I hope you feel better," the woman purred, smiling with a show of all of her teeth.
"Thank you," she replied meekly, exiting the room as the fourth years stared at her, looks of incredulity written over their faces.
She took the route to Hogsmeade, walking swiftly down the deserted lane, the wind roaring furiously around her. She couldn't think about it yet. No. She wasn't sure she wouldn't be able to bear thinking about it alone. She needed support. She needed someone to be there with her, reasoning it out with her, helping her get through this. All she knew was that she couldn't do it alone.
She was heading to Sirius's house, but she knew she was seeking out Remus. She needed his support, she needed his opinion, she needed him. Tonks wanted to hear what he had to say. More than anything, she wanted to just cry into his shoulder, into his warm sweater, to just snuggle into him and inhale his scent, and to never leave that feeling of warmth, of comfort.
But would he still accept her? She hadn't done anything, but would he believe her? Would he assume that whatever Dumbledore said was true? Because if he did, that meant she would lose him. Lose his support, lose his trust. The thought sent shivers down her body, and she was already weak enough to faint.
But no. It was worth a try. The Remus Lupin she knew would listen, and she needed to try her hardest to make sure he would.
A/N: Well, wasn't that a... dramatic turn. What do you think? Could Dumbledore be right? Who else could it be? And will Remus believe Tonks? Coming up in Chapter 24.
Fair warning for quite a bit of emotional drama up ahead! To all who have reviewed, and are continuing to review, thank you thank you thank you. Your reviews make my day.
What do you have to say on this chapter? Is Tonks innocent? Or is there more to it than it seems? Leave a review with your thoughts!