Penny tapped the pen gently against her lip as she sat there in silent thought, staring at the blank piece of paper. So many different sentences swirled around in her head, so many different ideas of how to start or what to say or even what not to say. She knew for a fact that she was determined to get it down on paper, but nothing had ever been quite this hard to articulate.
After several continuous minutes of silently staring at the paper, the bright white of the blank page began to make her vision go a little strange, as if everything else was a little fuzzy and washed out. She blinked, and shook her head. Taking that moment as a fresh start, she forced herself to start, and put the pen to paper, writing only two words.
"Dear John"
She lifted the pen away and watched the words on the page intently, almost as if expecting them to do something. There was barely a moment before she gave an anguished sigh, and glanced across to the other side of the trailer, drumming her fingers along the table in frustration.
"Shouldn't be 'dear' John," she whispered to herself, beratingly. "That's too formal. Just... just think."
With another sigh, she set the pen down flat on the paper. She knew that the first step in admitting her feelings for John was to get it in writing. She'd always been far better at expressing herself by writing than anything else. Saying things out loud had such a finality to it, and couldn't be taken back, or removed, or changed, or edited. If she could just figure out the best way to write it, then-
A pot on the stove across the other side of the room began to rumble violently, causing a shuddering and metallic clang to ring through the trailer.
"Oh shoot," said Penny as she leapt to her feet. She turned the heat down immediately, stopping the pot from boiling over just in time. In her concentrated effort to write the letter to John, she'd almost completely forgotten about her chili. The pot began to simmer out, and went back to bubbling gently. She blew an exasperated sigh as she leaned on the countertop, watching the pot. The chili was ready.
She wasn't sure why, but something about that moment made her suddenly decide that it was time to stop with the letter, at least for now. She reduced the heat on the stove until it was as low as possible, so that it would just keep things warm. With careful use of oven gloves, Penny scooped out a small portion of the chili into a plastic food box and sealed it. It was almost tradition at this point to take her mom a sample of her food to taste test first; Pam was always happy to receive fresh food, even if she was sometimes quite critical.
With her winter coat slipped on, a clean fork, and her chili sample in-hand, Penny took one last glance at the sheet of paper on the table. Her eyes went upwards towards the clock. It was almost midnight - her mom would be at the saloon. And with that thought, Penny left the trailer.
She'd barely taken two steps outside after closing the rickety metal door behind her before bumping directly into Elliot.
"My apologies," he said quickly, taking a couple of small steps backwards. "I came to give you something."
Penny found this very odd, and after a dazed moment she realised that she probably looked very confused. She was fairly certain that - other than giving him a Winter Star present - neither of them had spoken to each other all year. Before she could figure out the best thing to say, Elliot cleared his throat and revealed a small taupe envelope from behind his back with a dramatic flick of his arm.
"Penny, that book of Tarin Hearney poetry you gave me is absolutely outstanding." His eyes dazzled, as if just mentioning the book brought him happiness. "And in return I felt it appropriate to express my gratitude in a similar format." He wiggled the envelope gently in his hand, gesturing for her to take it. Penny swapped the chili into her left hand and took the envelope from him.
"Thanks, Elliot," she said, trying not to sound perplexed, and giving him a pleasant smile. 'Penny' had been written on the front of the envelope in large, flowing green letters.
Elliot nodded curtly. "And with that, I bid you goodnight, and have a happy new year." Without wasting any time, Elliot set off towards the center of town.
"Er, you too!" she called at his rapidly shrinking silhouette. She looked down at the envelope again and raised an eyebrow. Cradling the chili in the crook of her elbow, she used both hands to carefully open the letter, and pulled out a sheet of creamy paper. It was a poem.
Of dearest heart and sweetest temper,
'Tis only one who can attemper.
Of copper hair and golden soul,
Her kindness maketh up the whole.
A very strange sensation flooded through Penny's stomach, one she couldn't decide if she was enjoying. The poem was about her. Uttering a small involuntary giggle, she repositioned the chili nestled in her arm and kept reading.
My heart is fond, 'tis fit to burst,
For one whom I would placeth first.
My heart doth know, there are not many,
Whom makes it warm as does dear Penny.
Penny lowered the letter and stifled another giggle. It was a very peculiar feeling. Did Elliot suddenly have feelings for her, all because of a book? Did he always have feelings for her? Or was this in reality just a really overly-affectionate way of saying thanks? There was still quite a bit more poetry to read, but she pocketed the letter slowly, chewing on these thoughts as she did so.
With the chili still in her arm, Penny set off towards the center of town.
Pelican Town was always very quiet on New Year's Eve. The banners and decorations for the Winter Star festival were starting to look a little tired where they hung, having battled the bitter elements of a hard winter for some time. But, worn as they were, they still managed to bring a little bit of that special winter magic. The various strings of colourful lights glowed like neon rainbows against the crisp winter sky, and the Winter Star tree still stood tall, majestically towering over anything around it, almost as if it was the town's indomitable protector. The night was still and peaceful, with just a gentle hum of quiet laughter and muffled conversations drifting lazily from the saloon on the crisp night air.
Just as Penny was coming out of her lull in admiring the enduring beauty of the town square, an excited squeal came from her left. She looked over towards the source of the noise and could just about see two figures in the distance, standing by the old cherry tree on the river bank.
"He's really coming home," said the same voice. It was Jodi, and based on the walking cane held by the other figure, she was with John. "I just can't believe it! Isn't it great?" She was speaking very fast and excitedly, not pausing for single moment to give him a chance to speak. "I need to find Sam - I've got to tell him his dad's coming home! Do you know where he is? I'll find him - okay, bye!"
"Great news again, Jodi!" called John as she hurried away from him and into town, towards Penny. He waved at her back as she left.
Jodi beamed at Penny as she hurried towards her.
"Penny! Kent's coming home - he'll be back in a few days, even! Can you believe it?"
Kent was Jodi's husband, a dedicated military man who'd been gone for a very long time, fighting on the frontlines of a distant war. It always made her feel ashamed when she remembered that there was an ongoing war, because it simply wasn't something that affected her day-to-day life; Pelican Town and even Stardew Valley itself had always been so sheltered from the outside world. She couldn't even begin to imagine how horrible Jodi must've been feeling while Kent was away, and just how relieved she must feel now.
"Jodi, that's amazing news," said Penny, smiling earnestly. Her voice came out a little quiet, and she was fairly sure that was the shame dampening her voice.
"I know!" she squeaked, quickly giving Penny a tight squeeze. "Listen, I'm going to go find Sam, do you know where he is? I'm going to check the saloon." She smiled, gave her shoulder another little squeeze and hurried past her, without waiting for a response.
Penny watched her speed off towards the Stardrop Saloon, with a definite spring in her step. She'd never seen Jodi as happy as that, and despite the shame she was feeling for completely forgetting the war, Jodi's happiness was infectious, and she couldn't help but smile.
Before continuing on to the saloon herself to find her mom, Penny glanced back at the water's edge, where John had been standing. He was now sitting down on the river bank, his legs dangling down towards the water. She couldn't really see much more than that.
For the tiniest, briefest, most instantaneous of moments, Penny thought of going over there and simply saying outright what she'd been trying to say in her letter. How she felt about him. How wonderful she thought he was. How lucky she felt to have him around. And it wouldn't matter if she stumbled or minced her words a little, because it would all be out there, in the open, and she'd know once and for all how he felt about her.
But - just as quickly as it had arrived - the thought fled her mind. I'd definitely end up saying something stupid, she thought, shaking her head. Adjusting the chili in the crook of her arm once again, she turned around towards the saloon to find her mom.
Penny had only taken a couple of steps when gentle, acoustic music came from behind her. She turned her head and looked back. It was still only John at the river's edge, but the music was definitely coming from him. It was a soft, haunting melody, with an almost fairytale-like air to it that left you with a sense of wonder. It wasn't sad music necessarily, but it definitely had a tone of yearning for something, and it somehow made Penny feel nostalgic for a past that she couldn't articulate.
What instrument is that? A guitar? She couldn't see any instrument from where she was standing, and felt compelled to go to him and listen, at least for a moment.
As she drew nearer and reached his side, she could see a mini-harp resting against his left leg that he was plucking gently, the chords rippling across the flowing river one by one.
He glanced up at her and smiled softly, but didn't say a word, instead continuing to play. He gestured with his head to his walking cane lying down on the grass next to him, and somehow she knew what he meant. Moving the cane further away from the river bank to clear a space, Penny sat down beside him and also dangled her feet over the edge, her chili still nestled in her arm.
The two of them didn't speak as John continued to play, his mini-harp nearly sending Penny to sleep as she gazed up into the night sky, watching the stars twinkle across the inky blackness.
After a few minutes, he finished playing with a small flourish. "Thanks for sitting with me, Penny," he grinned. He spotted the chili held in Penny's arm. "What've you got there?"
Penny glanced down and then back at John. She'd almost forgotten about the chili. "Oh, it's just some chili I made. I was going to try and find mom, see if she wanted to try some." She did her best to swallow any nervousness in her voice and continued. "Unless, you want to try some?"
"I wouldn't want to deprive Pam of any," he chuckled lightly, "but I'd love to try some. If your cooking is as good as your Spirit's Eve riddle solving, then I'm in for a treat."
Penny giggled sheepishly and lifted the chili box towards him, along with the fork she'd brought with her. "Here, give that a little taste." She watched as John unboxed the chili and cradled it in one hand, using his other hand to take the fork and lift out a mouthful.
"Thanks," he said, grinning and placing the fork in his mouth. He chewed for a few moments, but his expression was difficult to read.
"...Well?" she said with a half-laugh.
"Mmm," he toned, placing the fork and the box down. He swallowed, and broke into a large grin. "That was delicious!"
"You really mean it?" she beamed. "Thank you!" Her face was flushing red as she smiled, "it's such a relief to hear that - I've been working so hard on this recipe, and I'm really proud of it."
John grinned again, "Well, you should be!"
Penny felt a rush of affection towards him. Her mom's appraisals of her cooking were always much harsher, and focused mainly on what the food lacked, rather than any kind of positive response. "Hey," she said, taking back the chili. "Since you're the first person to try it, I'm going to name this one 'Chili de John'," she laughed, affecting a French accent on the name.
"I'm only sorry I don't have a more interesting name," John chuckled. He paused for a moment as he wiped his mouth. "Oh hey, by the way," he said, leaning on his harp. "I think I know where the Noctumbra took my chicken."
It took Penny a few moments to register what he meant here, the Noctumbra abducting John's chicken in the middle of the night had somehow nearly slipped her mind. "Really? Where?"
John gestured behind him and his left with his thumb. "I saw another Noctumbra the other night, I think. But I lost him over that way, near the manhole to the sewer."
"You think he's down there?"
"I think so, yeah. But I can't get in. I've asked around and nobody has the right kind of key to open the manhole."
Penny tapped her chin. "We'll figure out something."
John chuckled lightly. "Yeah," he looked at her. "Thanks." His eyes went from her face down to the ground, as if he'd just spotted something. He pointed down beside her. "Something's fallen out of your pocket, by the way."
Penny glanced down to see the creamy sheet of poetry that Elliot had given her. "Oh," she said, her face reddening. "That's just... uh, well, it's nothing really."
John raised an amused eyebrow at her.
She smiled, a little embarrassed. "It's um, it's poetry, Elliot gave it to me, to say thanks for the Winter Star present I got him."
"Ah," John chuckled. "Is it good? May I have a look?"
Penny had omitted that it was poetry about her, but out of sheer embarrassment she handed over the page with a small nod. She could feel the heat rising in her face.
John's eyes flicked back and forth as he read the poetry. His gaze softened slightly as he read further, and eventually his look almost became stony. "He's good," he said, finally. "He's captured your... importance to him." Something about his tone sounded sad, almost a tiny bit upset, or even... Was he jealous?
Penny offered a small, nervous half-laugh, taking the letter back from John as he held it out to her. "I've hardly ever spoken to him, I don't really know why he feels that way."
John smiled warmly. "Well, it's very easy to make strong bonds here." He started playing the mini-harp again, plucking a slow and gentle woodland melody. "Especially with you; you have such a wonderful kindness about you."
Now Penny could feel her ears burning, too. She casually brushed some hair down over them. "Thanks, John." She watched his fingers move across the strings as they drew together a beautiful song. Her attention was drawn to the frame of the harp, which was carved in beautiful, ornate golden oak. "I didn't know you could play the harp," she said, in a soft whisper. "Where did you get it?"
"My grandpa gave this to me," he said eventually, looking down at the mini-harp. "He used to play the harp for us, every New Year's Eve." He smiled at her on saying this, a sort of sombre smile, and Penny couldn't think how to respond, other than to smile back. "He would always say, 'I want to start and end the year doing what I love. This year ends with song, but that's alright, because the new year begins with song, too'. His music was beautiful."
"Your music is beautiful," said Penny earnestly, the familiar warm flush still covering her cheeks. "Did he teach you how to play?"
John gave a small, quiet laugh. "Yeah, he did." He cleared his throat, his eyes transfixed on the flowing waters in front of him. "You know, Penny, I had my doubts about moving here. To Pelican Town, away from the city, all of it. But I thought maybe coming here would give me a bit of closure. With my grandpa, I mean. I lost touch with him in the last few years. I was so caught up with life and work in the city and... I just didn't think..." he trailed off.
Clearing his throat a second time, he refocused his gaze on the harp on his lap. "I know it sounds strange, but I thought I would play my harp tonight in his memory, somehow I convinced myself he'd be able to hear it." He played for a few seconds more, without opening his eyes. "I hope he can hear it."
A deep sadness welled up inside Penny. A single tear broke free and streaked its way down her face as she watched him, playing his music into the empty night, his eyes closed in reverence. It was only after the fact that she realised what she was doing, it had all happened instinctively, as if on autopilot; Penny shuffled a little closer to him and laid her head down on his shoulder, wrapping one arm around his other shoulder. Something about it made her feel completely at peace.
He let out a small sound of approval and continued to play. Penny continued resting her head upon his shoulder, thinking of nothing but the rushing water and the haunting music.
After several minutes passed, a rumble of muffled shouts and celebrations came from the Stardrop Saloon, loudly and excitedly ringing in the new year.
John craned his neck and softly kissed Penny on the top of her head. "Happy new year, Penny."
Year 1, Winter 28th - New Year's Eve
I hope you're all staying safe and well with everything that's going on in the world.
I can only apologise for how long it's taken me to update this story, my job means I've been kept at full steam for almost all of 2020 (thanks COVID). Penny and John are never forgotten by me, I just never have time to dedicate to it. It will continue to its conclusion, so long as I do, just... slowly, I'm afraid. ❤️
We're done with Year 1! A whole Stardew Valley year with John & Penny. Only took us... well, a very long time! Here's to more.
If you put "Relaxing Harp Music" into Youtube, the first video that comes up by "Soothing Relaxation" is the music I pictured John playing on the riverbank. It's kept me calm and got me through several tough months.
Stay safe, everybody ❤️