19 LYANNA VII

Life as lady in waiting isn't an easy one, especially if you used to be the one they waited on! That's not to mention the continuous dealing with a group of the most stupid women in the whole seven kingdoms.

On my first day, I took extra care with my clothes and wore one of my best gowns and of course it was a burgundy dress embroidered with a stag at one side and a lion at the other. My mother always favored such dresses and I was so keen to make her happy by sticking to different variations of them. Anyway as soon as the queen saw me, she gave me a death glare. Really what were they expecting me to do? I don't have anything else to wear.

Dorea and Obella Sand despised me openly despite the fact that their family killed my sister in the first place. They denied the accusation coolly saying she did kill herself and none of them were responsible for the attack on her life, they even claimed that Myrcella was on good terms with their princess Arianne even after the attack! The woman never left Dorne since the war so I couldn't judge but I don't believe the heartless bitchs

Dear sweet Myrcella was attacked severely by Gerold Dayne, with or without the Martell plotting is of no importance to me, she was supposed to be under their protection anyway. The assault Lead to her horrible disfigurement and subsequently the Martell Shipped her back to kings ladings with Nymeria and Teyene Sand as if nothing had happened. Mother killed the Sand girls in retaliation. Which mother wouldn't after she saw what befell her pretty little girl? It was only natural for her to react so.

Well, maybe I wouldn't do so but I can't blame mother. Oh, when I think of what the poor girl suffered till she decided to take her own life!

If I only could have met her once then but sadly I was in Casterly Rock as usual, maybe I could have persuaded her not to end her own life and broke our hearts like this

Of course the Sands saw me, a representative of the Lannisters, also as a murderer for their elder warrior sister but come on, you can't go to the war then blame your opponent for your defeat. Obara Sand died in battle for God's sake!

I told you they were the stupidest women you could ever meet!

But on the other side, they were extremely pretty and exotic. If we were on better terms, I would try to learn the arts of intimacy from them. Surly they seemed knowledgeable and I desperately needed a bit of this knowledge.

Then there was the current day Rhaenyra Targaryen and Alicent Hightowerwith their own dance of the dragons or rather dance of the mules, Bethany Blackwood and Jayne Bracken fought over all and everything just for fighting sake. I knew the animosity between their houses was years old but it was nerve racking to hear this bickering all day long , Bethany was the nicer one though sadly Jayne was the prettier and she used that to tease Bethany mercilessly. Princess Sansa and Jeyne Poole always were in each other company and spoke about nothing but the wedding and dashing Lords. Quite idiotic if you want my opinion. Only the queen seemed to be the sensible member of the lot, she also seemed to hate Lady Stark and even the King himself. I almost loved her for that alone.

Lady Stark was doing her best to make my life and Jon's a total misery. We used to avoid the family meals unless we were summoned. But lady stark prohibited servants from serving us food. Sometimes they did anyway. Other times, Jon had to go to the kitchen to get us food, or what he claimed to be edible food like pork pies and so! He told me we can eat there in the kitchen and raved about how the kitchen was spacious and cozy at the same time. By now I have learnt that Jon wasn't right in the mind so I just told him no with no fighting!

Just to spite Lady Stark, I sometimes go to the meals. It's better than eating with the servants, though servants at least smile unlike this sad bunch. When I eat with Jon in the feasts, we usually sit with the bastards. The kings men usually refer to our table as thus with all four of us either a Snow or Waters.

I got to know Gendry better. He seemed simple and kind enough and there was something about his unrefined ways that reminded me of father and endearing him to me. I didn't talk much with Larence Snow but he seemed to worship Jon, they both do actually.

Sometimes, I felt furious at him to throw all this power and love with a snap of Robb's fingers but maybe this was the way he was raised. To follow not to lead, though they told me a lot of stories about how good a commander and king he was.

Well, that was in the past…

On a more intimate note, Jon didn't try to sleep with me again after our first night. But as his room was small and furniture were scarce, we had to share the bed. At first we were giving each other our backs and stayed rigid till morning. Then I began to loosen my guard and slept facing where ever I want but thankfully, I didn't cuddle him again or woke to any embarrassing surprises apart from his recurrent morning issue!

It's not that I find the wife duty awful or something. He was kind and considerate enough to make my fear gone. And mother mercy, I even felt great at certain moments but you just can't bed someone because you was ordered to, just like breeding dogs.

He always try to give me privacy and looked at the window whenever I changed my clothes. To be truthful, I didn't gave him the same courtesy, of course I wasn't gawking at him or anything but I just stayed where I am. As I told you it was a delightful sight and stolen peeks never hurt, right?

Today as I was in the queens solar, doing her hair. Lady Stark came in and started firing orders and remarks which I thought was very rude of her, it was the queen's solar after all not hers. Then she looked at me intently and to the embroidery on my gown

"Lyanna, from this day on, you are not allowed to wear any sigil, you are neither a Lannister nor a Baratheon. I expect you to be more careful from now on"

I felt myself flushed and my hands started to tremble. I looked at the queen for help but she was smirking. Apparently she hated me more than she did Lady Stark. Maybe she loved no one at all.

"But this is my mother sigil, my lady"

"Do you see any of us wearing our mother's sigil?" she said with a raised eye brow then ordered imperiously "Adhere to my order and don't dare to ignore it"

I hated her, I hated her more than death, more than the mad queen herself

The Sands were wearing the red sun sigil all the time and I heard no one complaining. Only Sansa looked ashamed of her mother and Bethany Blackwood showed some humanly compassion.

When I returned to our fucking room, I looked at everything with hate, the poor furniture, the old creaking floor, the bare window even Ghost who was sleeping on my bed drowning it with his fur!

Shoo shoo, away to your master you stupid monster but he didn't move I tried throwing things at him but with no success. I finally felt helpless and collapsed on the sole chair in the room and cried in defeat and that's how Jon Snow found me sometimes later with Ghost at my feet licking me. Now you moved stupid mute monster! But I couldn't stop crying

"What's wrong? Why are you crying like this? Are you well?" Jon asked in alarm

I don't know why I did it but I just shouted at him "Ask your stupid direwolf!" and went to the bed in anger

He was bewildered "Did you bit her?"

Well, the seriousness of the question made me laugh, I just said "stupid". Jon chose to believe it was directed at Ghost and let it pass "What happened then?"

I told him of Lady Stark's order. He looked so pensive and bowed his head for a while. I could see his hands in firm fists then suddenly he asked "What does ghost have to do with this?"

"mmmmm, he slept on the bed and shed his fur everywhere"

He looked at me in confusion then he just said "That won't happen again my lady" And he talked to his direwolf about it for quite some time and kept trying to persuade him to leave the bed to me as if he will actually understand!