Chapter 17: friend like me
Hey guys I'm not dead, just working my ass off as my job is considered essential due to the cororona. I hope you all haven't lost your minds in quarantine and are all staying healthy out there.
Anyways some of you guys asked me to bring jinn into this chapter. So here she is but I don't think I'm going to keep her as I don't really know how to write her character. The few moments we got to see of her, she was sassy to Ozpin (already a good point in her favor) and she is a being forever trapped in a lamp that has infinite knowledge as long as she is asked a question, and she has her hundred-year charge on her omniscience.
And to correct something I said before about the red kyber crystal. The method I was talking about is called the bleeding which is whereby the use of the force you place all of your negative emotions into a kyber crystal to, and I quote Darth Sidious: "Corrupt the kyber crystal. Teach it your pain. Teach it your anger. Hear it sing a hymn of darkness. Make it bleed." which is what Darth Vader did to make his dual phase light saber in his string of comics.(and personal opinion is the much more badass way of making a red light saber). And to the corrections to any of the other stuff a lot of the comics and the books have been retconned, and or straight up removed by Disney in exchange for their own stuff.
To answer the questions about ready or not. I had thought about the roles some more. So at the end I have posted who I think should be in which role. Anyways onto the chapter.
Disclaimer: RWBY is owned by rooster teeth, and Aladdin is owned by Disney.
As the group were discussing the last world and all that was shown to them. A handle of letters falls into Slayer's lap written in an odd language and with them a lamp also dropped in as well.
"Hmm the mail came quickly then." Slayer said as he read through the letters silently while holding the lamp in another hand.
"What do they say?" asked Blake, curious as to what the writer may be asking.
"They are asking me to bring someone in and asking me to show some worlds to you" Slayer informed the cat faunus, catching everyone's attention.
"Who are they asking to be brought here? Is it someone we know?" Ruby asked excitedly.
"Well not you or any of you students but Ozpin and Salem do know this person. But I decided to bring in some others to make things fun!" Slayer said as he snapped his finger and the black door appeared once more. Slayer opened the door and began to tug on whatever he was trying to grab. With a slight flick of his hand, before it delved back into the doorway, came Sun and his teammate Neptune sprawled out on the floor.
"What the? Who the? Where are … oh hi Blake!" Sun said in a chipper tone seeing his fellow faunus friend who stare at him for a moment before going over to help him up.
"Thanks um do you know where we are?" Sun said as Blake pulled him to his feet.
"As far as we know some inter-dimensional theater outside our space and time." she said with a straight face.
"Pfft~ yeah right! No seriously where are we?" Sun asked, snickering at her 'joke'. Only for everyone to stare at him blankly.
"Uh sun I don't think she's lying." Neptune said to his leader who began to look very nervous at the lack of response from the teachers and staff.
"Perhaps! I could explain it a little better. After I get the last two guests in this room." Slayer said from the doorway as he pulled a glowing blue arm through the door. Attached to that arm was a glowing blue woman, naked as the day she was born, floating in the air.
"JINN!" Salem and Ozpin shouted in amazement as the spirit was freed from her lamp.
"Hag! Old man! It's so good to see you both not killing each other!" Jinn said cheerfully.
"Not with lack of trying mind you." Slayer muttered to himself as he watched the blue spirit float above them.
"Hey is that door how we got here?" Sun asked curiously.
"Yes" Slayer answered with a smirk. No sooner did those words leave his mouth did Sun run through the door.
"Aren't you going to stop him?" Roman asked the deity. Only for Slayer to hold up five fingers and lower one at a time. By the time he lowered the last finger Sun ran back through the door into the wall on the other side of the room.
"Had a nice run?" Slayer asked the monkey faunus as he closed the door.
"Oh it was lovely with all the room I couldn't see until I slammed back into here. Why are we here?" Sun said irritability.
"I'll answer that after our last guest arrives." Slayer says as he closes and banishes the black door away.
"But don't you need that door to grab people?" Cinder asked curiously.
"That door is for the living… This door is for those who have passed." Slayer said as he summoned an alabaster white and gold door. When he opened this door instead of unending darkness, out poured blinding light. The audience shielded their eyes as Slayer reached in and gently led someone into the room. The door was slammed shut, and everyone began to look to see the person who had joined them.
"Mom…" Ruby asked in a stunned tone staring at the woman in front of her.
"Summer!" Taiyang, Qrow, Raven, and Yang all shouted in fear and joy. Standing there in all her former glory was Summer rose looking exactly how she looked before she left on her last mission.
"Tai? Raven? Qrow? MY BABIES?!" the super mom shouted before rushing over hugging each of them. The rest of team STRQ looked a little freaked out by this situation.
"Mom, you're here! You're alive!... This has to be a dream. This can't be real" Ruby said with tears running down her face pinching herself to try and wake herself up.
"Oh my little rose, you're not dreaming I'm here." summer said hugging her daughter close to her with a soft smile on her face. She then pulled a stunned yang into embrace as well. However, she then gained a confused look on her face and turned to the man who led her into the room.
"But how am I here? Last thing I remember was me fighting a large amount of Grimm, killed them by the way, before some crazy scorpion guy appeared and killed me before I could recover my aura" Summer said, getting some snicker and a glare from her daughters.
"Let me explain. You are in fact dead but while within this room you are a member of the living. Once you leave this room you will rejoin the afterlife. I'm sorry if this upsets you." Slayer told her with a somber tone, as she and her loved ones began to frown and glare at him.
"If you could revive her here, why not in our world?" Taiyang asked their host.
"Because life and death are tricky. Resurrections such as that follow the code of equivalent exchange: to gain something something of equal value must be given, but what is the value of a human soul?" Slayer asked the group, who caught on quite quickly. For summer to live someone had to willingly trade their life for hers.(an1)
"Well that's inconvenient. So care to explain why I'm here?" Summer asked, trying to move past the whole dying part, all the while crushing Ruby and Yang in her hug.
"Oh anyone wants to explain while I set up the next world?" Slayer asked heading over to the controls. Summer's team stood and began to explain what is to be happening now.
One long explanation later…
"And that's what has happened so far. Any questions?" Qrow asked the new group of people who sat there in stunned silence.
"Just one. Why am I here? " Jinn asked the deity across the room.
"Some people asked that you be here for this viewing whether you stay or go is up to you, my dear spirit." Slayer informed the blue woman, Who tilted her head in curiosity.
"What are we watching then?" She asked, gaining the attention of everyone in the room.
"A world that has something to do with this." Slayer said holding up a dusty bronze lamp.
"A lamp?" Yang asked in a confused and disappointed tone.
"Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things it is not what is outside but what is inside that counts." Slayer told them, although the majority seemed unconvinced by his words.
"This is no ordinary lamp! It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man who, much like this lamp was more than what he seemed. A diamond in the rough." he told them as the screen began to flare to life signaling the viewing that is to start.
The scene starts out at night in the middle of a desert land as two figures traveled slowly but carefully across the sands.
"Kinda reminds me of vacuo." Qrow remark, having been there in his travels.
"Or the menagerie if you ask me. Though I wonder where those two people are going? Or who they are?" Blake asked, staring at the screen in curiosity.
The two figures keep walking until they come across a peculiar sight to behold. A cave in the shape of a tiger's head and a faint sound could be heard. It sounded like it was…
"Breathing? What kind of cave sounds like it's breathing?" Sun asked warily.
"I don't think we want to know." Neptune said with a hint of fear.
As the figure approached the cave then began to move to look at them before it did something none of them expected.
"Who disturbs my slumber?" The cave asked in a deep growling voice the light from within illuminating the figure from earlier. One was the young man known as Sun Wukong, dressed in a fez, vest, and patched-up pants. All in all he looked like a beggar. Behind him on a horse was a disgusting and wrinkly old man.
"It is i, Sun Wukong!" the boy said, getting over his stupor. On his back as the camera came closer there was a monkey hidden under his vest in fear.
"Why do I have a monkey on me?" Sun asked curiously.
"It is your friend Abu. You are an orphan who lives on the streets, and he helps you steal food. Also note there are no faunus in this world so you are completely human." Slayer explained to the young man.
"Okay but what is that cave?" Blake asked with an intrigued tone.
"It is the cave of wonders. So called for within it is untold fortune beyond your imagination." their host said with a grin.
"Proceed. Touch nothing but the lamp!" the cave said before opening its jaws wide for Sun to descend into its mouth.
"Remember boy first get me the lamp! Then you shall receive your reward!" the old man shouted from a small distance.
"C'mon Abu." Sun said as he walked into the cave with a brave face on. As he passed the teeth he came upon a flight of stairs. Descending them carefully he came across a doorway with a large light coming from it. Upon passing through he was left stunned at what was inside the room.
"Would you look at that." Sun gasped out, stared at mountains of gold and jewels surrounding him at each side of the room.
"HOLY MOTHER OF OUM!" Roman shouted as he stared at more money than he had ever or will ever make in his life. Beside him, Neo was drooling at the idea how much ice cream she could buy with only a handful of that treasure. Meanwhile Emerald is being restrained by mercury as she is jumping up and down in excitement at the amount of riches she could take right there in front of her
"Just a fraction of that could make anyone richer than my entire family!" Weiss said in awe
"As I said, an untold fortune grander than what you could even imagine. And yet they haven't even reached the true treasure yet." Slayer said cockily.
"You mean the lamp. How could that be more important than all those riches?" Cinder asked the deity, who gave her a smirk and sign that will have to wait and see.
As Sun is marveling at the massive amounts of treasure his monkey jumps out and rushes the first big jewel it sees. But it could touch it, Sun shouts at him, making him dead stop on a very beautiful green, black, and pink carpet.
"Don't touch anything. We got to find that lamp." he told his furry compatriot, who grumbled and pouted before following him. Behind them the carpet seemed to unfurl itself a little, before rising slightly to 'look' at them. It then began to fly after them slowly following behind.
"Oh my god. A magic carpet! And it's in your colors, Renny! We have to get one!" Nora shouted gleefully to her partner.
"Nora I don't even know where we even find one if we could. Though I have to ask why it looks like that?" Ren said/asked calmly.
"Oh because, as much as this will annoy you, that carpet is you; Ren." Slayer said with a grin as they try to wrap their head around how another version of Ren could be a magic flying carpet.
The carpet flew close behind Abu 'looking' at him curiously. When Abu sensed something behind he snapped around only to find carpet laying on the ground. He shrugged and kept walking only to turn around a few minutes later to find carpet rolled up to the side. Abu tries to get Sun's attention, but he ignores him, upsetting the poor monkey. Carpet seeing the coast is clear, flies over to Abu and pokes him in the back. He zips over to the monkey's other side before he could spot him. The carpet pulled his tail before flying overhead as Abu turned to see who was touching his tail. Carpet then stole Abu's hat and put it on his 'head' before tapping Abu lightly. When the monkey looked up and saw the carpet standing in front of him, he freaked out and tackled Sun down, pointing at the thing that spooked him.
"Abu, what are you, crazy?" Sun says before spotting what had him spooked.
"A magic carpet." he said in awe before he noticed it was frightened, so he decided to call for it calmly.
"Come on. Come on out. We're not going to hurt you." Sun said carefully like he was trying to calm a frightened animal. Carpet seemed to understand him and flew carefully, grabbing Abu's hat on the way. It handed Sun his monkey friend's hat, and he in turn gave it to Abu. However, Abu didn't like the fright it gave him and shouted in chirps and screeches at the poor carpet who began to walk away sadly.
"Stupid monkey, making carpet feel bad." Nora grumbled in an annoyed tone.
"You really can't blame him, the damn thing scared him half to death." Mercury said in defense of the greedy chimp. This gained some confused stares from his boss and partner.
"What? I like monkeys, is that so wrong?" He asked defensively causing everyone else to snicker in response.
"Hey hey! Wait don't go! Maybe you can help us?" Sun asked it ,which the carpet gave a jump for joy before rubbing itself against him affectionately.
"See we're trying to find this lamp have you seen it?" he asked which carpet looked surprised before pointing in a direction and slowly flying towards it. Sun then began to follow it carefully behind. As they followed the carpet they left behind all the gold and jewels, soon replaced by stone and darkness. They kept walking until they made it to a room with a large rock spire surrounded by light. He told Abu and carpet to wait there as he went and began to climb the spire to grab the lamp. However, the problem with that is nearby was a statue of a monkey holding a big red jewel the size of a basketball.
"Uh oh. That chimps greedy side is winning out." Neptune said worryingly.
"Well maybe once he grabs the lamp they can just leave and maybe take some stuff with them." Summer said in a somewhat hopeful tone.
"I don't think so. This was a test to see if they could stay focused and not be greedy. Just because he gets the lamp, doesn't mean the test is finished. It would mean he is half-way through it as he still must leave the cave to prove he did the test." Jinn said calmly getting looks from the other members of the audience.
As Sun reached the top of the rock pillar he carefully picked up the bronze lamp and inspected it, meanwhile carpet was trying to hold Abu back from the large jewel. As soon as the carpet's grip broke; Sun, now noticing what was happening, gave a loud shot at his monkey friend only for the chimp to snatch the jewel and hug it towards his body.
"INFIDELS! YOU HAVE TOUCHED THE FORBIDDEN TREASURE!" the voice of the cave shouted all around them. Abu then sheepishly put the gem back in its place only for it to begin melting along with the statue as well.
"NOW YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN, SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!" The voice shouted, causing fire to explode all around the room And lava filled the floor. Sun then began to run down the rock pillar only to slip and almost fall into lava if it wasn't for carpet saving him and Abu. Carpet then began to race towards the exit as the lava began to swell and chase them. They flew as fast as they could, zipping back into the treasure room that began to light a flame in pillars of fire. Dodging and weaving they made it back to the staircase which has collapsed five steps into the cave. They almost reach the steps before the carpet is crushed under some boulder throwing sun into the stairs almost falling to his death as the old man appears above him shouting for the lamp.
"Give me the lamp!" the old man shouts holding out his hand
"Give me your hand!" Sun shouts back barely holding on as is.
"First give me the lamp!" the old codger yells back. Sun finally gave in and held out the lamp to the man who squealed gleefully before pocketing it. Meanwhile, Abu is using the old man's cane to help Sun up but before he could reach the final step up the old man kicked the cane away and grabbed a hold of Sun's arm.
"What are you doing!" Sun shouted at trying to wrench himself free to climb up.
"Giving you your reward! YOUR ETERNAL REWARD!" the old man said his voice became deeper as he pulled out a dagger to stab him. But before he could strike Abu ran up and bit his arm causing him not only to drop the knife but also Sun. The old man glared at the monkey before throwing into the cave as well. As they fell carpet pulled himself free and caught them saving them from being splattered against the ground.
"NO GOOD TWO FACED Assholes!" Sun shouted at the man on screen.
"Kid what did you expect from someone like him? You got him what he wanted, why did he need you anymore?" Roman said in a know it all tone.
"Similar to when I don't need you anymore. Huh, Roman?" Cinder said mockingly. To which the fashionable thief flipped her off.
Above the ground, as the cave finally collapsed and disappeared below the sands. the old man who began to snicker in delight from his seated position.
"It's mine! It's all mine!" the old man said, ripping off his fake, bushy beard to reveal a bald man with a smaller, twisted beard.
"I … where is it?" he said, reaching into the pocket he put it in only to realize it was gone. With a loud roar he shouted in despair.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Is that Arthur? He looks even worse than before." Cinder said with a snicker in her voice.
"Cinder do try to remember he is on our side" Salem said, rubbing her temples at how one f her smarter minions was just tricked by a street urchin.
"But where is the lamp? And why was he so happy to have it in the first place?" Ruby asked.
"If I was a betting man. I'd say the monkey stole it." Qrow guessed.
"Maybe and to answer your second question. I reside in a lamp so maybe it's something similar to my situation. He wants something inside it" Jinn offered to the young huntress. She had a feeling she knew where this was going.
"Am I always trapped in some stupid lamp no matter what universe it is?" jinn thought to herself
Down below the sand, in a cave safe from harm was Abu, carpet, and an unconscious Sun. Abu and carpet wake Sun up who begins to hold his head in pain. Looking around he realised the situation they were in, and proceeded to curse Arthur out.
"Whoever he was. He's long gone with that lamp." Sun said sadly looking towards Abu who gave him a smirk before pulling out the lamp.
"Ha you hairy little thief." Sun says while rubbing Abu's head affectionately, grabbing the lamp he gave it another once over.
"Looks like such a worthless beat up piece of junk. Hey, I think there is something written here, I just can't make it out." he said as he began to rub the lamp, which started to shake violently when he did.
"Here it comes" jinn thought to herself glumly.
"Hey, what's going on with the lamp?" Tai asked out loud as everyone, even Ozpin, began to watch as the lamp began to glow, before it shot out a fire work and then it fired another one.
The lamp then began to let out a huge amount of smoke that began to billow upward before a sound was heard.
"AAAAA HHH!" a shout of pain being heard as out from the smoke came a large blue figure stretching as much as it could.
"Oi! Ten thousand years can give such a crick in the neck!" it said as the smoke cleared to reveal a large blue man with golden bracers on his arms and a mop of blond hair on his head with a matching goatee.
"Is that Jaune?" Ruby asked as jinn dropped her jaw seeing another person be stuffed in a lamp like her. She also felt a small bit of disappointment over not being in this viewing.
"Yep though I'll let him do the introductions for this go around. It's going to be good" Slayer snickered out.
"Hang on a second '' Jaune said, picking Sun up by his vest and hanging him on the wall. Jaune then grabbed his head and began to spin it around with a yell before stopping back at where he was before.
"Does it feel good to be out of there!" he shouted picking his tail up, turning it into a microphone which held to his face
"I'm telling its great to be back ladies and gentleman. Hi where are you from? What's your name?" he said in a chipper tone, putting the mic in Sun's face, as he got back down to the ground.
"Uh… i'm Sun Wukong."
SUN WUKONG! Hello Sun nice to have you on the show! Can I call you Sun or do you prefer Kong?" he asked as a neon sign of sun's name appeared behind him.
"Or how about Sunny? It sounds like this here sunny, here boy!" Jaune whistled, changing into a Scottish garb before transforming into a dog jumping around.
"I must hit my head harder than I thought?" Sun said trying to figure out what is happening right now.
"You smoke? Mind if I do?" Jaune said before going poof back to his original form snickering and scaring Abu as well.
They all stare at the screen wide-eyed and confused as to how he was shape shifting into multiple different forms. Jinn was just confused as to what he was as he wasn't a spirit of knowledge like her otherwise he wouldn't be allowed to do these kinds of things or at least she isn't allowed to otherwise she would be wearing more than just some fancy jewelry over her body.
"Oh sorry cheetah hope I didn't singe the fur. Yo, rug man haven't seen you in a few millennia! Give me some tassel" Jaune shouted, fist bumping the carpets tassels. Before he moved back to Sun in his giant form.
"You're a lot smaller than my last master either that or I'm getting bigger! Look at me from the side, do I look different to you." he said, his form changing so that he had a fat gut.
"Wait a minute… I'm your master?" Sun asked confusedly, a little stunned by what was happening in front of him.
"That's right! He can be taught!" Jaune said, slapping a cap on his head and diploma in his hand.
"What does he mean by master?" Sun asked with a slight scowl at the idea of owning anyone like that.
"Yes I'm curious as well." Salem asked with an intrigued look.
"Masters, a lamp, the ability to change your form, and the power to create things at random? I know this from somewhere, but where?" jinn thought to herself as the information was at the tip of her tongue. Before her eyes widened, she figured out two things: one she no longer had access to the relic of knowledge's infinite information, and two: the legend of what this Jaune might be.
"He is from Arabian legends of old. The One Thousand and One Nights, I believe" the blue woman thought to herself. She then began to try to run through all of them and knew which one he was.
"What would you wish of me? The ever impressive!" Jaune said, changing into an overly muscular man.
"The long contained" he said from within a see through box as he pushed at the sides, to no effect. The box opened, dropping him with a puppet in his hands towards the ground.
"The often imitated" the puppet 'spoke' before disappearing, As Jaune span around the room.
"But never duplicated, duplicated, duplicated duplicated duplicated duplicated duplicated!" he said leaving a copy of himself around the room with the original in the middle.
"Genie of the lamp!" he shouted with glee as his clones began clapping for him.
"Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your very much wish fulfillment" another much more skinny Jaune said, waving his hand at the original.
"Wish fulfillment?" Sun asked both on and off screen.
"The genie of the lamp? Is that his title or something?" Ruby asked, confused by this version of jaune but finding him to be pretty funny.
"The genie of the lamp. A supernatural being capable of granting the wish of who-so-ever holds the lamp." Jinn answered having figured it out before his introduction.
"Can we get back to the wish thing that seems pretty important!" Weiss said, curious about this wish fulfillment part of the introduction.
"I'm sure he'll explain the rules. I really don't feel like answering any questions that I don't have to." Jinn replied lazily back to the heiress. On the inside however she was saddened for this Jaune as he was stuck in the same situation as she was, trapped in a lamp for all eternity.
"Three wishes, to be exact. And ix nay on the wishing for more wishes! " He said with a bit of venom as his clones went poof behind him. He changed into a slot machine with the faces spinning.
"That's it three. Uno dos tres~." three smaller Jaunes said, popping out of the payout. Each with a sombrero on its head. Before he transformed into a little version of himself in black and white with a cigar in hand.
"No substitution exchanges or refunds!" he said in a quick manner while walking past Sun, who could only stare in disbelief.
"Now I know I'm dreaming." Sun said quietly to Abu, clearly not believing his eyes. However, Jaune heard him and spun around with a large grin on his face as music began to start.
"Is this another fucking music number!?" Qrow shouted in annoyance causing summer to glare at him.
"At Least this one is more upbeat." Yang said with a large grin on her face
"Master! I don't think you quite realize what you got here!" Jaune said growing in size as he snapped his fingers caused Sun to be carried backward to a rock to sit down on.
"So why don't you roominate, whilst I illuminate the possibilities!" he said while he made himself glow a lighter shade of blue. With a spin he slammed down back in front of Sun his hands on his chin under his big grin.
"Well, Ali baba had them 40 thieves~'' Jaune began singing as he folded his hands in front of his face and out from behind them popped forty men in rags wielding swords. They surrounded Sun and abu and began closing in on them.
"Scheherazade had a thousand tales~
"But master you in luck because up your sleeves~" Jaune sang appearing in Sun's vest before sticking his arms out and punching all the thieves away. He then slipped away as Sun was still swinging his arms, Jaune rubbing his muscles in a gym uniform.
"You got a brand of magic that never fails~
"You got some power in your corner now~
"Some heavy ammunition in your camp!~" he said as he turned into a firework that shot around the room quickly.
"You got some punch, pizzazz yahoo and now!~" he finished his run before popping above the lamp in a neon pink explosion. Before popping out of the lamp and grabbing Sun's hand leading it to the lamp.
"See all you got do is rub like so and i'll say~
"Mr. Wukong, sir what will your pleasure be?~
"Let me take your order, jot it down~" he sang while making Sun sit at a fancy table with Jaune dressed as a waiter speaking in a minstraly accent.
"You ain't never had a friend like~"
"No, I can't say I have. But, oh I hope I do now!" Sun said while snickering slightly
"He's really selling me on this genie thing. What are the downsides to having one?" Roman asked with a greedy tone.
"Random chance they twist you wish around to spite making you regret ever having met them."Jinn answered smirking at his now wide-eyed stare and twinge of fear.
"Life is your restaurant~" he sang, summoning a large cover dish, which turned out to be turkey dinner.
"And I'm you maitre'd!~" he said, replacing the turkey with his face. Before he grew in size, leaning his ear towards Sun.
"C'mon whispered what it is you want!
"You ain't never had a friend like me~" he said before dropping into a group of four and and giving sun a spa treatment
"Yes sir we pride ourselves on service~
"You're the boss, the king, the shah!~" his voice sang as Sun was now on a throne surrounded by gold as Jaune's arm swept across the room summoning food in baskets in front of him.
"Ahh living the life of luxury. A wonderful dream to have." Roman said, joking at the sight of the mountain of gold there.
"Yeah but you will be bored in five minutes." Neo signed to him with a smirk when Roman nodded in acceptance of that truth
"Say what you wish, it's yours true dish!
"How a little more baklava?~" he sang/asked, grabbing Sun's fez and dropping a metric ton of the snack out of it. Next thing Sun knew he was on top of a massive pillar before he began to fall towards the ground.
"Have some of column A~
"Try all of column B~
"I'm in the mood to help you dude~" he sang as Sun landed on a pillow in his hands. Before he ran out of a giant version of himself mouth in a white suit and hat.
"You ain't never had a friend like me~" he sang as he started to dance with two giant hands for a bit before they crushed him into a puff of smoke. He reformed next to Sun with a smirk.
"Can your friends do this?~" he asked as he proceeded to remove his head and juggle multiple versions of his head.
"Can your friends do that?~" he asked, tossing his heads at Sun who juggled them back at the blue man.
"Can your friends pull this out their little hat?~" he asked, reaching into one of his gauntlets and tugging himself through as a big pink bunny. He then transforms into a dragon and breathes fire at Sun that turns into three different beautiful dancer girls.
"Can your friends go poof~
"Well lookie here?HA HA!~
"Hello ladies~" Neptune said 'suavely'. Only for Weiss to slap upside the head with a glare.
"Can your friends go 'abracadabra, let a rip' and make the sucker disappear~" he sang as he pulled himself apart making the harem girls disappear as well. Sun then looked to his left shoulder and saw Jaune sitting there floating.
"So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed~
"I'm here to answer all you midnight prayers~
"You got me bona fide certified~
"You got a genie for your charge d'affaires~
"I got a powerful urge to help you out~
"So what's your wish? I really want to know?~" he asked grabbing something from sun's ear and dragging out an extremely long scroll of paper.
"You got a list that three mile long no doubt~
"Well all you gotta do is rub like so ~
"Mister Wukong sir have a wish or two or three~" his voice sang over as Sun stood there being worshiped as three extra pairs of arms waved behind him. Before they split into the harem girls from before one stayed in front of him, as the two began to lean in for a kiss the girl was replaced with Jaunes cheek.
"I'm on the job, you big nabob~
"You ain't never had a friend~
"Never had a friend~" Jaune letting Sun shoot his finger like a gun created a huge pile of gold and dancing animals as the song pulled to a close the spectacle kept getting grander and grander.
"You ain't never had a friend~
"Never had a friend~
"YOU AIN'T NEVER~
"HAD A FRIEND~
"LIKE ME~
"You ain't never a friend like~" he sang as he spun like a tornado sucking everything back up and everything returned to normal again. Only with Jaune laying in front of him with a neon sign saying 'applause' above him.
Several members of the audience did just that.
"Have to admit that wasn't to bad" Qrow admitted, camping alongside his nieces
"Yeah, it's a pretty good way to tell someone what they just signed up for." Summer said while snickering at the display this blond boy put on.
"Any three wishes you want? Sounds too good to be true." Blake said in a disbelieving tone.
"So what will it be, master?" Jaune asked, looking at his nails leasurely.
"Heh heh you're gonna grant me any three wishes I want right?" Sun asked, trying to figure out if he got that part correct.
"Ah, almost. There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos." Jaune said transforming into a blue version of oobleck counting the figure on his hand adding about 3 more to it as well.
"Here we go. What is the limit to this 'genies' power?" Salem asked intrigued by this shape shifting magical being.
"Can't be too much right? I mean we saw what he could do. Maybe it's more limits on other people." Ruby guessed trying to see if she could find one to help her mother.
"Like?" sun asked the blue man in front of him.
"Ah, rule numbah one! I can't kill anybody. So don't ask" he said while he cut his head off, holding it in his hand before reattaching.
"Welp you're useless to me!" cinder said in a bored tone.
"Not exactly, you could wish for the power to kill that person, and he doesn't have to do it himself." Roman pointed out the workaround, causing the false maiden to facepalm at looking that small fact over.
"I could use that to finally get rid of Ozpin/Salem" the two former lovers thought to themselves before glaring at one another.
"Rule number two: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else," the genie said before turning his head into a large pair of lips and kissing sun's cheek.
"Well that's comforting to know he can't mess with free will like that." Pyrrha said shivering at the idea of someone forcing her to love them against her will.
"But there is a workaround. You just have to change yourself so that person would notice your love for them." Roman pointed out the second rules' loophole. This may have caught the attention of a few girls who had eyes for the dense knight.
"Rule number three. I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!" Jaune said slowly turning green with gunk dripping off of him and his voice gaining a lisp of some kind.
"Yeah no. I ain't coming back as some kind of zombie even if you guys could get him to grant that wish." Summer said, staring right at Ruby and Yang both of whom look very sheepish at her words.
"Other than that you got it." Jaune said, turning back to his original form bowing low awaiting Sun's first wish. Sun and Abu take a thinking pose before looking at each other with a smug grin.
"Proviso? You mean limitations? On wishes? Some all powerful genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead" Sun said standing up and looking around as Jaune slowly glared over his hand at the boy.
"Oh noooo. Don't fall for it. Please don't fall for it." Jinn thought to herself as she began to see what Sun was trying to do. At the same time Roman and Neo saw what was about to happen and started snickering at the balls of the monkey faunus.
"I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we'll have to find our own way out." he said before taking two steps, only to be cut off by Jaune's foot slamming down in front of him.
"Excuse me? Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I Don't think so, not right now. You're getting your wishes, SO SIT DOWN!" Jaune said/ shouted towards Sun who jumped back in surprise at the genie's eyes turning red with anger at the end of his little speech. They sat down on carpet who straightened out in fear, Jaune shrinking down to sit beside them.
"In case of emergency. The exits are here, here, here, here, anywhere!" he said pointing in every which way possible.
"Keep your hand and feet inside the carpet. Weeee'reee out of here!" he shouted, using his magic to fly them through the rock and into the open night sky.
"Well I guess that wasn't a bad waste of a wish." Sun said kinda liking the idea of having an all powerful genie on his side
"Yeah but maybe you should have been more specific about who knows where you'll land." Neptune offered
The screen shows a desert oasis as carpet starts to descend into it.
"Thank you for choosing magic carpet for all your travel needs, don't stand till the rug has come to a complete stop." Jaune said in a feminine voice his form changed into that of a flight stewardess. When Carpet stops he creates a small set of steps which Sun and Abu use to get off.
"Thank you, goodbye now, goodbye, thank you" Jaune says before changing back to his original form.
"Well, how about that, Mister doubting Mustafa?" he arrogantly asked Sun with a large smug grin.
"Ohh you sure showed me. Now about my three wishes?" Sun asked with the same amount of smugness coming off himself.
"Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by one boy!" Jaune shouted in glee stuffing a finger in Sun's face.
"Ah no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave. You did that on your own." sun responded with his smug grin on his face.
"Really you're gonna try to pull that?" Yang said with a hint of disappointment in her tone.
"No offense, Sun. But I kinda agree with Yang. I don't think that's gonna go well with a wish granting genie." Neptune said to his leader.
"I don't know. The kid didn't say the magic words, so he might have gotten one over on him." Qrow said in a curious tone. Meanwhile, the three who knew what happened were either facepalming or laughing silently waiting for the boot to drop.
Jaune looked to fire back at the blond thief, but then his words dawned on hair fell flat and his jaw dropped with a gasp.
"Well I feel sheepish" he said in a terse tone as he turned into a small, blue sheep.
"HOLY SHIT THAT WORK!" Sun shouted in joy at getting one over on a being millennia older than himself. Roman and Neo broke finally and burst out laughing alongside Tai and Yang at the pun Jaune did. Jinn was glaring at the screen, as everyone either joined in the laughter or shook their heads in disappointment.
"Alright you BAAAAAd boy. But no more freebies," Jaune said, walking away from the human, who agreed to it.
"So three wishes, I want them to be good." Sun pondered as he walked past Jaune back to his human form using his 'tail' and his hair as a rope, swinging between two trees hammock style.
"What would you wish for?" sun asked the genie, who dropped to the ground in surprise.
"Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well in my case… Ah,forget it." he said in a depressed tone, looking away from Sun.
"What?" Sun asked in a curious tone.
"No I can't.." Jaune said again, turning from him.
"What could it be?" Ruby asked.
"It can't be too terrible. I mean it's Jaune." Yang said in confidence.
"You also thought Blondie couldn't be a murderer or an overpowered lich. Or even a mercenary. So your point is invalid right now." Roman said to the sister only for Tai and Summer to give him glares.
"As much as I hate to admit it he might be right. Let see what he would wish for." Emerald muttered to herself and mercury, who gave a nod in response.
"Come one tell me." Sun asked his new friend once again. Jaune gave him a sullen look before giving in.
"Freedom" he said, holding up his arm to show off his bracers. Sun's eyes widened as he took out the lamp to look at it.
"You're a prisoner?" he asked in fear
"It's all part and parcel of the whole genie gig. PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!" he shouted as he manipulated the stars around his form before shrinking back into the lamp.
"Itty bitty living space." he said as the top was removed by Abu showing him crammed inside it.
"Ahh genie that terrible." Sun said remorsefully as Jaune slowly slither out of the lamp.
"But oh …to be free, not have to go 'poof what do you need'" he said causing a puff of pink smoke around him.
"Poof what do you need"
"Poof what do you need?" he said, grabbing a hold of Sun's vest. He released his grip and gained a wistful look on his face.
"To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world!" he said in a blissful tone.
"That's kind of sad actually. Now I feel bad." Roman said with a scowl.
"I don't like this anymore. No one should own someone like that. Nor should they be forced to be like that." Weiss said with a glare on her face, getting a hug from Blake in return.
"Your right. But I don't think he could get out of it on his own. So that's why he's telling it to Mr. Wukong over there." Ozpin said with a grin seeing how this might play out.
"But what am i talking about? Let's get real here, it's not going to happen. Jaune, wake up and smell the hummus!" the wish granter said floating back to the ground with a depressed look on his face.
"Why not?" his master asked with a concerned look
"The only way I get out of this. Is if my master wishes me out. So you can guess how often that's happened." he said in his depressed tone.
"I'll do it, I'll set you free." sun said cheerfully
"Uh huh, yeah right." Jaune said before changing his face out for a puppet and making its nose extend a few inches, only for Sun to push it back in causing Jaune's face to turn back.
"No really, I promise. After I make my first two wishes I'll use the third wish to set you free." sun said honestly to the genie. Holding his hand out, only for jaune to hesitantly take it.
"Sorry to say this, but if it was Jaune who made that promise I'd believe him. But you on the other hand, yeah not really." Nora said with a cheeky grin on her face.
"Oh come on I'm trustworthy!" Sun shouted in indignation.
"Not really ." Blake responded to him, causing said stowaway to glare at her.
"To be fair, Jaune doesn't have the cleanest record either, but he tries to keep his promises a lot more often than you do. Remember the dress?" Pyrrha said with a smile giggling at the memory.
"Oh my god. Yeah, I remember that was the funniest thing I ever saw." Sun said snickering but got the point.
"Well here's hoping. Let's make some magic! Well how bout it. What is it you want most?"Jaune asked with a grin.
"Well, there's this girl." Sun began with an embarrassed look on his face.
"Eehhh! Wrong. I can't make anybody fall in love, remember?" Jaune said to him with a concerned look on his face.
"Oh but genie… She's smart and fun and.." Sun said, leaning against a tree with a fond smile on his face.
"Pretty?" Jaune offered with a smile.
"Beautiful!" sun corrected causing Jaune to roll his eyes.
"She's got these eyes that just… And this hair. Wow,… and her smile." Sun says with a happy sigh at the end. Jaune leans against a tree wearing a French outfit.
"Ami. c'est l'amour (friend. It's love)" he says while standing next to Abu and carpet having wine.
"Ahh always about a girl. Wonder which one of you he's talking about?" Qrow said with an amused chuckle.
"Why does it matter? It's not our world, you drunk." Winter said, irritated by how in love this boy seemed to be.
"What? Not enough guys looking your way so you have to rain on everyone's parade" the drunk said back only to get punched by the specialist and restrained by their host before he could retaliate.
"Hey she hit me first, let me get a swing back." Qrow shouted towards the man.
"You egged her on. If the situation was reversed I'd be restraining her as well." Slayer said with a blank stare at the man. The two calmed down but sat further apart. Winter also got admonished by Ironwood for losing her temper on Qrow, but not for striking the man.
"But she's the princess. To even have a chance I'd have to be… hey genie can you make me a prince?" sun asked in an excited tone. Jaune donned a frilly pink apron and pulled out a large book.
"Heh let's see here. Chicken à la' king? Nope" he said, pulling out a chicken with a crown before tossing it away.
Some snickers could be heard around the room.
"Alaskan king crab? Ow I hate when they do that" he said as a crab pinched his finger before flicking it away.
The snicker turned into chuckles.
"Caesar salad? Ahh! Eh, tu brute? No" he said, flipping the page before an arm could stab him with a knife.
A full snort of laughter from the teacher section along with a blank stare from the students.
"Aha. 'To make a prince'. Now is that an official wish? Say the magic words." Jaune said to the boy who looked ecstatic.
"Genie, I wish for you to make me a prince!" sun shouted happily
"ALRIGHT! YO! YO! Woof! Woof!" Jaune shouted with excitement before he dropped to the ground a tailor's outfit.
"First! That fez-and-vest combo is much too third century. These patches, what are we trying to say, beggar? No. lets work with me here" jaune stated in a very sassy voice as he grabbed one of the patches and ripped it off. He then took out a tape measure and began circling him getting measurements in before wrapping him in a bow. Jaune took a good look at Sun before grabbing the bow and ripping downwards causing a puff of smoke. When it cleared there Sun stood in white royal looking garb complete with a cape and a turbin.
"Oh my god. He sounds like that sassy gay friend you find in bad movies." Mercury snickered out.
"Is Jaune this good with clothes? I mean he wore a bunny onesie for god's sake." Yang asked Team JNPR.
"Jaune says he got it as a gift from his sisters, so he wore it because of that. If Ruby made you something to wear, like your own cape. You would still wear it, wouldn't you?" Pyrrha fired back at Yang in defense of her absent leader. This question caused Ruby to look at her sister who was now sweating in response.
"Anyway! Jaune was the one who helped pick out our tuxes and his sisters seemed to drill into his head the ideas and principles of fashion. But Jaune prefers comfort over style, as to why he wears what he does." Ren said, answering Yang's question and saving the poor girl from embarrassment.
"Ohh. I like it. Muy macho~." Jaune said, giving a slight pose as Sun looked himself over.
"Now, it still needs something. What does it say to me? It says mode of transportation." Jaune said, looking over the wear Abu was with a smile.
"Excuse me monkey boy. Aqui. Over here" he said, clapping his hand to get the chimps' attention only for the monkey to try to hide behind Carpet. Jaunes magic then dragged the two towards him.
"Here he comes. What better way to make your grand entrance on the streets of Agrabah then riding on your very own, brand-new camel! Watch out they spit." Jaune shouted in a showman voice as he changed into a fancy suit to match it. His magic worked itself in turning Abu into a camel. Jaune then took a thinking pose as Sun just looked on in shock.
"Not enough" he said before snapping his finger causing abu to change into a frilly pony.
"Still not enough. Let's see what do you need." Jaune said snapping randomly causing Abu to transform several times from a duck to an ostrich to a fucking car then back to a monkey.
"Stop! I don't think we can take much more of this!" Neptune said, snickering alongside a few others.
"That poor monkey. Mean old genie messing with it." Summer said pouting. mercury was nodding in agreement
"To be fair I think Sun is to blame here. Jaune is just trying to grant his wish." jinn said, smirking at the loophole as the two glare at Sun for 'his' wish.
Jaune's eyes then widened as he grew a manic grin.
"YES! Esalalumbo shimin Dumbo! Whoa!" he shouted as he shot Abu with some magic bolts causing him to turn into a large elephant.
"Talk about your trunk space. Check this action out." he joked out another pun. Meanwhile, Abu now noticed his new form and promptly freaked out about it, going as far as to climb a tree which bent under his weight. Sun only snickered and said it was a good look for him.
"He's got the outfit! He's got the elephant! But we're not through yet. Hold on to your turbin kid we're gonna make you a star!" Jaune shouted as he started weaving even more magic about but before we could see it the camera pulled back and the screen went black signifying the end of this viewing.
"Well that was pretty entertaining." Salem said while snickering.
"Yeah but I wonder who the princess is?" Ruby asked, tapping her chin while looking around the room for possible ideas.
"Good question, I bet it's Weiss." Nora said, snickering at Weiss's twitching brow and Sun's nervous look.
"So anyway what are we going to see next?" Sun asked their host, trying to divert attention away from himself.
"Well isn't that a good question. I believe it should be something just as fun. We're going to watch another comedic one . at least i think it's funny." Slayer said to the group as he watched the screen align itself to the next world.
"Can i ask something? Does Jaune ever get the freedom Sun promised him?" Blake asked with a serious tone as she glared at the deity.
"Yes he does. Only after a couple more hurdles. But in the end Sun kept his end of the bargain and set jaune free." Slayer told her with a fond smile on his face. With a nod she then went to talk with her friends.
So what did you guys think? I know it isn't that great but do you have any idea how hard it is to try to capture the same energy that Robin Williams (may he rest in peace) brought to this role? No wonder they had him just act and just animated everything around him. And I bet you guys were probably hoping for a lot more than I gave. But even when I tried to write out this entire movie it felt too bloated and took forever, so I cut it down to just these few scenes because of how important they are to the genie's character and to get a friend like me into the chapter.
Anyways now onto the roles for ready or not. For the most part I want to have a reverse situation. A husband being the damsel in distress or final girl. So Jaune will be the main role of the final girl(boy) in that run. however, for the family or in-laws; it's been torn between the schnees or the xiao-long/rose family. As the family isn't evil or anything just desperate so i had a hard time deciding.
So far it's.
Grace(final girl): Jaune
Alex(spouse): Weiss/Ruby
Daniel(older sibling): Winter/Yang
Tony(the dad): Jacques/Taiyang
Becky(the mom): Willow/Summer
Emilie(younger sibling): Whitley/? (perhaps you guys could decide this one. Maybe even an oc)
Aunt helene: Ozpin(uncle oz?)/ Qrow(obvious reasons)
Fitch(Emilie's husband): undecided until the spouse is chosen. If Whitley then it's going to be vernal because fuck it.
Charity(Daniel's wife): Qrow/ Blake (hard to chose this one as i don't feel either of this two any of the other possible choice would come even close to how this character acted in the movie)
The butler and maids will be decided at a later date cya next time.
Next time: "I know what I'm doing!" "that is an opinion you are having! Now set it to ten minutes!"