Hi everyone!
Okay, I have to warn you about a few things in the next chapter. At the end, there will be hints at violence. Nothing will be described, though.
Also, this is a relatively long chapter. I mean, all of them are long, but this is one of the longest, I think. It is probably also one of my worst written chapters, as I pressed one and a half week of story time into 21 pages. I just really, really wanted to get this over with. I could have written more detailed chapters about the following, but then it would have probably been three chapters, and I am just not patient enough for this. I think I have stalled the main plot for too long, anyway.
But the long chapter is totally worth it! There are major plot twists, and really important things happening.
So, with that said, here is chapter twenty-two, please enjoy, and please review!:)
I do not own Avatar The Last Airbender, nor its characters. The only characters I own are my OCs.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Healing and Fighting
Kilara
The sun shone hot on my skin, which was a very uncomfortable feeling. It wasn't good for my wounds, almost only scars now, to be in the open sunlight, so I was wearing a hat with a large trim to protect my face.
I had healed Dad this morning again, but it was an excruciatingly long process. I had slept after, and now I was outside in the hospital garden with Nanuk. I was in my wheelchair again, my legs…
I'd rather not think of it, but it was painfully obvious to me that I wouldn't be able to walk without help for quite some time. Tomorrow I would learn how to walk with crutches, and maybe I would finally get rid of the wheelchair like this.
There were a few other people in the gardens, too, mostly people with illnesses or old people, but none with injuries.
I was considering keeping wearing hats. At least, this way no one would see my horrible hair before it would grow out again. I didn't have womanly curves yet, my breasts were still small, and with the short hair I looked like a boy.
"Doctor Wenjin said you could have visitors from today on, so I, as the good brother I am, of course went to your best friend to tell him to come here," Nanuk piped, seemingly in a good mood.
My eyes widened, but I didn't know if I should feel happy or afraid. I didn't want Denzai to see me like this, but on the other hand I really much wanted to talk to him.
Either way, it was too late to object, since I already saw him walking towards us.
He almost disappeared behind a giant basket and flower bouquet. I could only see his green eyes peering over the flowers and his wild, black hair, unruly and sticking in every direction as ever.
In this moment I didn't have the urge to hide my new, hideous self. I smiled.
"Kira!" Denzai cried out, as he handed the basket to Nanuk and showed me the huge flower bouquet. Tulips and lilies in many different colours, some even with two colours per petal. It was beautiful.
My smile widened, as I leaned forward to smell them. I looked up at him and smiled with my teeth to show him how much I liked the flowers. Carefully, I took them from him and peered into the basket in Nanuk's arms, who was already looking through the content.
"There are clothes inside. My mum bought some with Huiqing, since you probably lost all of yours in the fire. There are also shoes, towels, and some beauty products," Denzai explained, fidgeting with his hands. "I told them you probably wouldn't want them but a normal gift basket, you know, with food, but they said you were getting food at the hospital, but these are things you really need," he said apologetically.
Although I was a little disappointed at not being gifted food, since the hospital food was dreadful, I still smiled brightly at him, before I pressed my lips together and shrugged.
"She says it's okay," Nanuk translated.
Denzai then grinned and produced a small, wrapped up bundle from his bag. "Yeah, but I still annoyed Mum enough to make you some steamed pastries and rice pastries!" He held the bundle out to me, and I could already smell the flavour, as my mouth began to water.
I looked up at him again, seeing he had got more freckles since the last time I saw him. My smile became a grin, as I thought that I knew there was a reason why I liked him.
To his credit, he hadn't stared at any of my scars for long.
The burns in my face were still light patches in a rosy colour like strawberry milk, which made me feel like a hippo cow, and the burn from my throat to my chin… Well, healing it had been difficult. The new skin wasn't the soft, rosy, or white that had developed on the other burns. While I had healed it, I had felt some resistance, as if it hadn't wanted to be healed. Maybe I had pushed too much. I should have been more patient. Also waterhealing couldn't perform miracles. However, now it looked padded in a dark rosy, almost pink colour, with a bigger bulge at the place where my skin had been pierced. Doctor Wenjin thought it might be the reason why I couldn't speak. As I had healed it, I had realised he was right. I had hoped it would just be from shock, or the smoke, but until the inner of my throat wasn't completely healed, I wouldn't be able to speak again. I unfortunately had no idea what exactly was broken. I could feel it, but I had no idea what it was. I couldn't remember everything from the anatomy books I had read, but I guessed it were my vocal folds which were affected.
When I had first felt how deep the injury went, I was just glad that it hadn't met my carotid artery, or I would have bled to death.
Mum hadn't exactly taught me how to heal vocal folds, so I was basically experimenting with ways of healing on my own ones.
I remembered seeing the explosive exploding in my face, but I haven't yet asked who attacked out house and why. I was a bit afraid to learn, actually. Nanuk never mentioned it being incendiary, but it was obvious to me. Since it was probably from the Fire Nation, I wondered if it had to do with our plan to rebel, but Nanuk told me the rebellion was still going on, and none of the others had been attacked.
That made the reason for our house fire all the more ominous. A cold shudder always ran down my spine, when I thought about it.
"We can have this as lunch," Nanuk mused, and I quickly nodded.
I pointed at the grass, I wanted us to sit down and have some sort of picnic.
Swallowing still hurt a little, but it had become better. The pastries were pure heaven. The best thing I had eaten since waking up here. Denzai's mum could cook!
"So, when will you get out?" Denzai asked, as he finished his part of the food.
I shrugged.
"I guess she could be already released, as none of her injuries really still demands the surveillance of a doctor. Waterhealing is the only thing that can help her now, but I think they want to keep observing her. The doctor seemed pretty keen on learning more about waterhealing." Nanuk sighed. "And I don't think San's parents have enough room for Kira, too. So it's good she's staying here a little longer."
Denzai raised his eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure we can find someone who will take Kira in. I mean, I begged my parents already, and they said they would if there was absolutely no alternative, but we're four children, and my older siblings visit quite often, except for Ruzai, although he'll visit this weekend, because I asked him to." His voice became quieter, until he just whispered. "He's the Dai Li agent, you know." Then he straightened again and kept talking in a normal voice. "So Mum said it would be a bit much, and she doesn't trust Xiaobo and Jaoru to behave, if Kira will be there."
I tried to reassure him with a smile.
It would be okay. It had to. I didn't want to think about what could happen to Nanuk and me. Orphans, without a home.
No, definitely not. Dad would survive, and we would all live together again.
"Tonight is another meeting at the Armadillo Lion, and I'll ask some of them if they have any space for you, Kira," Denzai went on. "By the way, we discovered something totally awesome that will help us defeat the Fire Nation. I wrote it all in a letter so that no one can listen in, when I'm telling you."
He handed a letter to me, Nanuk leaning over my shoulder to be able to read it, too.
Colonel Aijian told us about a plan that had been set up to defeat the Fire Nation before they had conquered Ba Sing Se. The council of five had planned to invade the Fire Nation with the Avatar's help on a very special day. Next week, on Sunday, there will be a solar eclipse. It will last approximately nine minutes, and during this time the firebenders won't be able to firebend. Our plan is to concentrate on the Dai Li first, and then use the eclipse to make quick work of the firebenders. The Dai Li shrunk in numbers, as Tao Zhu found out, because Princess Azula took some with her to the Fire Nation. We will attack the walls first, then our troupes from inside will attack the palace, stretching the fire military thin, so there won't be many of them in one place. We'll do the same with the Dai Li, as their biggest advantage is their numbers and combined fighting forms. We have to knock each one of them out. We're already training with Tao Zhu. Two of us will take one Dai Li agent, and all of us will have different moves, so that no agent will be able to predict our moves. Tao Zhu let on that all the Dai Li agents learn the exact same thing, so there shouldn't be too much variety in their defence. We start from the palace walls and under the palace walls. We'll get to the throne room quick, where about ten of the Dai Li will be, attack them, incapacitate Supreme Bureaucratic Advisor Joo Dee, and then the eclipse will start, rendering all firebenders helpless. Our earthbenders will take on the non-benders, encasing them in rock, and our non-benders will attack the firebenders, as they shouldn't be able to fight with weapons. Takiro brought us numbers, and we are all convinced that this plan will work. Of course, it's risky, but it's totally worth it.
Two days ago, two groups of thirty people left the city through underground tunnels to go rescue the soldiers from Shun Bay prison and Ru Bay prison. They will travel underground to the prison islands, then the earthbenders will shoot columns up the surface, so that the non-benders reach the platform and start the fighting. From the earth columns from the seabed, the prisoners can use the earth to fight, and the rest of the rescuing troupe will come. Both prisons have fewer guards than prisoners, so their defeat should be easily manageable.
The way back will happen underground, too. Nanuk has taught some of the earthbenders to feel vibrations in the earth, so they will even notice, when danger lies somewhere. And with the eclipse we will be unstoppable!
Frowning, I turned to my brother, raising an eyebrow.
Nanuk grinned sheepishly. "I have taught it to a few during the last nights, but I had no idea you already came up with such a plan!" he gushed, his eyes wide.
Denzai grinned. "It's still basically Kira's plan. Of course, the eclipse gives us an extra advantage…"
Biting my lip, I noticed this was basically my plan, only I hadn't had time yet to tell the others about this plan. I didn't even tell Denzai about it. I raised an eyebrow at him.
"You told Nanuk to get all your books from the fountain in your garden that you managed to save, right?" he asked.
I nodded. That was two days ago. I had been worried someone could steal my books, lying out in the open, behind a burnt house. Besides, many things I had written in them would count as treason, as would the plans to bring down the Fire Nation. Slowly, I understood.
"Nanuk didn't read them, of course, and he brought them to me. I read them, and immediately went to the Armadillo Lion. Yesterday, we had a very long meeting with all the supporters who signed up at the first meeting. We discussed everything, and Aijian brought in the eclipse thing, and it just seems like a sign, don't you think? As if nature itself, the stars and the sun want us to do something!"
"Yeah, I totally agree. I really like the price list of our cabbage cart," Nanuk said, nudging me gently, and I grinned at him. Someone remembered their code language vocabulary.
"I just hope we'll manage to sell all the cabbages. Imagine them being foul, or the customers being picky… Or the cabbages too expensive! Or the customers not hungry enough!" Denzai cried out, after being reminded that we had a code to talk in in public.
"Calm down, Denzai," Nanuk said, almost annoyed.
Denzai didn't listen, but touched his chin lightly. "Or a bunch of rampaging teenagers flying through the cabbage cart or on the cabbage cart or smashing the cabbage cart to a wall…!"
Nanuk and I both gave him a deadpan look.
Denzai shrugged. "What? It happens to my Uncle all the time."
oOo
With the battle approaching so fast, just Sunday next week, or Black Sunday how I called it in my head, I was more determined than ever to heal myself. There was no way I was just going to sit in a wheelchair in a hospital, while all the others would risk their lives outside, fighting.
I was very much concerned about the battle happening so soon, and wrote it down to show Denzai and Nanuk, but they were both convinced that we couldn't just let such an opportunity as the eclipse pass. A part of me agreed with them, while another one would have been way calmer thinking we still had one year time, at least.
I liked planning, and I liked being prepared. Having a little more time than one week didn't feel prepared to me. There were so many loose ends, so many things that could go possibly wrong, nothing was really tested, and a very pessimist part of myself called Black Sunday, the Black Su(n)iciday. It wasn't a really good neologism, but Denzai understood it, when I wrote it down. Nanuk didn't.
They both visited me in the afternoon, after school and work, and then they went off to the rebellion meetings.
I had set a deadline for myself. I would be able to walk, or find a way to somehow participate in the battle by this Sunday so that I would have one week time to prepare myself for the battle.
I was still worried about Dad, but I knew I was healing him well, yet slowly. I could keep this up, he would wake up again, and he would be able to walk. I just had to survive the battle.
I knew having a waterbender against the Dai Li would totally make a difference, and could be crucial to our victory. Takiro had said there were a few water basins on both sides of the palace squares, and encasing the Dai Li in ice should incapacitate them, as I knew from fighting with Nanuk that earthbenders couldn't get out of there.
By Friday, I grew largely frustrated with my leg. While my left one was healing nicely, burns and cuts all mended, my right leg… No matter how much I strained myself, I couldn't manage to grow back the flesh and the muscle. I was just lucky that my tendons were still intact. The good thing was that I didn't need the wheelchair anymore. I walked around on crutches, my leg so heavily wrapped in bandages so that no one could see how thin and unnatural it looked. It looked like my whole calf was missing. The leg just ended behind the bone, and I had to resist the urge to vomit every time I saw it.
Doctor Wenjin agreed to release me on Friday, as I didn't have to use the wheelchair anymore. I would come back tomorrow for Dad, and for tonight I was allowed to sleep at the Armadillo Lion.
Professor Chiu didn't expect me back in school, but Denzai brought me an extra appointment: to write a scroll on the human mind set on power. I found it extremely fitting, giving our attempts at freeing the Earth Kingdom, and how we had been conquered, but I also found it a little insulting.
Not being able to walk, I didn't feel powerful at all. I couldn't waterbend like that, and bloodbending… It had never really made me feel powerful. I know it was a powerful weapon, but I couldn't take pride in it. For me feeling powerful also meant taking pride in being good at something, and bloodbending certainly wasn't it.
When I was released, Nanuk was still at his internship and Denzai at school, but San had agreed to pick me up. Before we went anywhere, however, I insisted on getting Nanuk's and my ostrich horse Onyx and Topaz from the pet housing.
I thought I might have an idea to be able to participate in the battle.
The woman running the pet housing helped me up on Onyx, after he had greeted me with fierce nuzzles into my cheek. I think my hat annoyed him, as he normally like nuzzling my hair.
I hadn't seen Onyx in almost two months, and I immediately got a bad conscience. And now I was going to take him to a battle… What a great animal owner I was.
But I knew it was the only way for me. I knew Onyx was the only ostrich horse I trusted, the only one who would trust me enough to willingly lead me into battle, and I needed him. I also always felt better and calmer with him there. Making sure nothing happened to him helped me feeling more determined. It helped me to hate my opponent even more, because I would rip them to shreds, if they hurt Onyx. Of course, I would do the same for Nanuk (if I had claws), but Onyx was an animal, a being completely innocent and irresponsible for all human fighting or wrongness. If someone would hurt Onyx, it wouldn't just enrage me, because I loved him, it would enrage me because he was innocent. It was the same with children or babies, or any other animals. The fury and hatred I felt any time I even heard about a human hurting an innocent life, was all-consuming, waking strong bending powers in me. I knew this dark, angry feeling would help me in battle. I didn't want to kill anyone. But I'd rather kill than be killed or see how the people and animals I loved were killed.
The pet housing owner had managed to secure me on Onyx's saddle, tying me to the leather, so that I wouldn't fall off.
I immediately felt better, powerful again. On top of Onyx I barely felt my crippled leg, and from here I could only waterbend without actually shifting my weight. I would only shift it from thigh to thigh, but it was manageable.
I smiled at the pet housing owner, who had already discussed payment with San, who had assured me there had been a contract between her and Dad, with the bank paying her from Dad's vault. This contract would end as soon as either Dad woke up and ended it, or Nanuk and I would become of age and ended it. I really hoped for the former.
Stroking Onyx's side, I looked around the street. There were a few people shopping, some doing business, but it was less crowded as it had been before the occupation. Surprisingly, I didn't see any fire soldiers, and wondered why that was the case.
When San stepped toward Topaz who carried my few belongings, Denzai's basket and the crutches, I took a piece of paper from my pocket and handed it to her.
I had written different kinds of messages on paper all morning so that I wouldn't have to gesticulate too much.
San read it and frowned. "The Armadillo Lion? The lower ring? Are you being serious? It's not a good place for someone like you to be."
I frowned at her. Someone like me? What, a cripple?
She flushed the moment she noticed how I had taken her words.
"I-I didn't mean… I meant someone from your upbringing. The lower ring is full of criminals, Kilara."
I shrugged and made a dismissive hand gesture, before smiling reassuringly at her.
As she continued to frown at me, I pointed forcefully at the note I had given her.
She raised her hands. "Okay, okay, we'll go there. I just hope their food has a high standard. I'm starving."
I grimaced. As far as I could remember, the Armadillo Lion didn't offer food, only drinks, but you could eat food you've brought from elsewhere.
Thinking about it, I decided it would be too complicated to try to explain this to San using my hands and feet, and I didn't want to start rummaging through my bag to find a pencil and paper. So I decided not to say anything and pretend like I didn't know Cuiling didn't serve any food.
San didn't talk to me on our way to the Armadillo Lion, for which I was pretty grateful. Not being able to reply properly was really annoying. There were so many things I wanted to say, interject, object, or correct, in almost every conversation I was having, and not being able to do so felt like torture. I liked to talk. I liked to discuss things. Sometimes, I even liked to yell. Being quiet was nothing I was good at.
It felt a little like a punishment from the spirits for being a know-it-all, and instead of just enjoying knowing more than other people, rubbing it under their nose. But how else was I supposed to fight sexism in the Earth Kingdom, if I couldn't rub it under men's noses that I could do things just as well as them, or even better?! That I was cleverer, faster to grasp new things, and that it was easy for me to remember things? I had to have a big mouth, I had to talk a lot!
And yes, of course, I enjoyed being better in class than idiots like Cheng, but that was only natural, right? He wasn't only a sexist, he was also a mean bully who didn't even like his own friends. He treated them like idiots, and every time I got more points on an assignment than him, of course I was happy. And it's not like I wanted to rub it under his nose. He was the one asking me what I got every single time. So if his pride couldn't take being bested by a girl, then of course, I would use that to rile him up. I knew it was no honourable thing to do, but I had never really cared. Cheng should be the one being punished by the spirits. Not me.
I almost wanted to cross my arms and pout.
However, this was only an injury, not a curse, so I could heal it. I wouldn't have to promise to give up the things that made me me in order to gain back my voice.
When we arrived at the pub, San helped me with the leather straps holding me, before holding up her arms so that I could support myself on her the moment I would touch the ground. She had already secured Topaz's and Onyx's reins, as she handed me my crutches. She looked around, grimacing a little.
"I hope you know what you're doing, Kilara. This doesn't look so bad for the lower ring, but still…" she said, her worried gaze on me, before drifting off to look suspiciously at the people walking down the street.
I smiled to reassure her, before limping inside.
It was dark inside, as it always was, and not many people were sitting around. Cuiling stood behind the counter, just drying a plate, when Liang approached me with a big smile.
"Liwei!"
Quickly, I changed one crutch into my other hand to pull out pieces of paper from my pocket, quickly searching through them to find the right one and gave it to San for her to read.
Here, my name is Liwei. Do not ever call me Kilara with these people. They cannot know who I really am. It's to protect Dad and Nanuk. Nanuk's name here is Kona. Denzai's is Shoi-ming, if you have to talk about them.
"Kona told us yesterday you were going to be released!" Liang said excitedly. He rolled closer, eying my crutches and my bandaged leg. My face lay in shadows, as I wore a hat with a large trim, but I knew he was shocked by what he saw.
I tried not to scowl or fidget too much.
Liang's features hardened quickly, as his jaw clenched. His grip on his armrests tightened, his knuckles turning white. It only lasted for a few seconds, before he nodded to San in greeting. "You must be San."
She nodded and bowed.
Liang turned his wheelchair a little around, looking at us over his shoulder. "Come on. We can talk better in the private house."
San raised her eyebrows at me, and I wondered if Cuiling's office that we had been to the first time we had visited the Armadillo Lion was actually in anther house, only touching walls with the pub.
When we passed the counter, Cuiling stopped drying dishes and leaned closer, smiling at me. "Hello, Liwei. It's good to see you again. Kona sure gave us a fright when he told us what happened."
He gave them a fright? And now, what? Did she think my state wasn't worth being frightened?
"I honestly thought he was overreacting and exaggerating, as he doesn't seem to be the brightest. But it all is really bad, huh?" Her eyes dropped in this pitying way I had seen thousands of times, after Mum had died.
I narrowed my eyes at her, and slammed one of my prepared pieces of paper on her counter.
I collapsed in a burning house and can't speak. What do you think?
The corners of her mouth twitched, as she read it, before nodding, her lips pressed together. "You're right, of course. Like I said, I thought Kona was exaggerating. Or I hoped so," she added in a quieter tone.
"We'll go next door," Liang interjected. "To talk about where she will stay."
Cuiling shortly looked at her husband before nodding at us, smiling in a forced way. "Of course. I'll join you, as soon as Tiuro comes for the next shift."
Another of my written questions landed on the counter. Can you please bring us something to drink?
The corners of her lips twitched again, as one eyebrow seemed to rise in amusement. She nodded with a soft snort. "Of course."
I inclined my head towards her and followed Liang out of the pub through the back door. He, indeed, brought us to Cuiling's office, in which she had talked to Nanuk, Denzai and I for the first time we had been here.
"Cuiling and I can let you sleep here for a few nights. But given the fact we have to plan for selling cabbages, it wouldn't be wise for you to sleep here until then. You should seem like a short acquaintance, not like someone who could have helped us with the price list," Liang explained, as soon as we were seated.
San frowned at Liang, then at me. "You're planning on selling cabbages with these people?" she asked, her voice aghast with horror. "But Miss H…! That is unacceptable! You're of higher birth, you cannot lower yourself like that!"
I glanced shortly at her, before I shook my head. I was very grateful to Nanuk who had told Cuiling and Liang that we were not to speak of the rebellion in front of San. The cabbage cart was a very weird allegory, which didn't always quite work, but everyone seemed to invent their own way of talking about it.
Frowning, I took a deep breath and pulled all my prepared slips out of my pocket. I had sorted them alphabetically and after topics. Under San can't know I found what I had been looking for.
I want to experience normal work. Dad said it was okay, as long as Kona is with me. Nothing will happen to me, and no one will recognise me as Dad's daughter. No one here knows who we are. That's why we have fake names.
She looked very sceptical, but fortunately, she remembered what I had told her about Nanuk's undercover name.
Of course, Dad hadn't known. And of course, he wouldn't have allowed it! I mean the rebellion. I was fairly sure he would have allowed me to help people selling their cabbages. It would be a valuable experience for life, if only to show me where I would never want to end up. So it could help me to take my studies even more seriously.
I could see that San wanted to argue even further, but I quickly shoved a note towards Liang on the desk.
Do you know who can take me in after you?
Raising his eyebrows slightly, Liang nodded. "Well, there's Takiro, Tao Zhu, and Aijian. Kona was severely against Tao Zhu, though," he added with a teasing smirk.
Fighting the blush in my cheeks, I rolled my eyes.
"But we'll meet them tonight, and then we can discuss your future sleeping arrangements. Tonight, you can sleep in Meixiang's room. We brought an extra mattress in."
"Excuse me, you expect her to sleep on an extra mattress on the floor?" San almost shrieked. "She's gravely injured and by far not common enough to sleep on the ground!"
I smashed a note on her lap.
Would you stop referring to my higher upbringing? I don't want them to know that much about me! Besides, I've already slept on the floor in the woods, alone. I'm sure I can manage this here, too.
"You have?" San asked warily, her eyes narrowed. Before I could nod, she whipped her head around to Liang again. "And who is this Meixiang she will share the room with?"
"Meixiang is my little sister. Rest assured, Liwei's dignity will be safe with her, and we brought the extra mattress for Meixiang, as Liwei will surely sleep on the bed," he laughed a little.
San didn't seem assured and her frown only deepened. Clearly, she didn't like that Liang found her concern with my dignity amusing. I had never thought San could be such a good governess, I only knew she was good at cooking and cleaning. I also thought she was a bit too young to act like a governess, she was only in her mid-twenties, after all.
Another note of mine landed on her lap.
Relax. I got this. Kona will visit me, and I'll let you know where I'll stay next.
She bit on her lower lip, before she shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I'm just concerned. I promised your father to look out for you, after all. I will stay for this meeting tonight. I want to see the people you could sleep at for the next week."
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
How would we be able to hold a rebellion meeting with San breathing down my neck? She couldn't just stay here!
My panicked gaze must have been clearly visible to Liang who straightened himself. "Of course. We'll arrange a comfortable, nice meeting. Perhaps over dinner?"
San nodded, looking off to the side. "Yes, that seems quite alright. Now, do you have a large enough bathtub for her so that she'll be able to heal herself?"
oOo
After drinks and food which Cuiling had prepared in her private kitchen, as the pub really didn't serve food, San was in a slightly better mood. She seemed more relaxed around Cuiling, probably relieved that an elder woman around her age would be there to look after me.
I was completely exhausted, which happened pretty quickly lately. I was a bit angry and frustrated that I hadn't been able to practise my bending on Onyx or to research for my essay, but everything that had happened so far had already managed to wear me out.
San brought my things up to the first floor where Meixiang's room was and helped me to get comfortable. We laid my leg on a few pillows and I settled against the wall in my back. I couldn't wait to take the damn hat off, but I didn't want San to see my disfigured head. Rummaging through my bag, I laid paper and pen next to me, as well as a scroll to read.
San produced a bell from her pocket and laid it next to the scroll. "If you need something. I'm going to go downstairs and see if I can make myself useful. And you should rest!" She looked sternly, clearly knowing that I didn't like this one bit.
I was tired and exhausted, and I knew I would need all my strength later this day, in the evening, when Takiro, Tao Zhu, and Aijian would come over. And I somehow also expected all the others to come over later, too.
San laid a blanket over me, and I gave her a dry look. I was not a baby. She only raised an eyebrow. "You have survived a house fire and are severely injured. Let people care for you for earth's sake!" She really knew how to be stern.
I rolled my eyes, but sighed exasperatedly before giving her a small smile. "Thank you," I mouthed.
She smiled shortly before nodding, standing up and looking around the room again. She seemed to look for other things to do, but I really wanted to be alone now.
Frowning at her, I decided not to let her presence bother me, and slid down the wall to lay my head on a pillow. I snuggled into the blanket, pulling it tighter around me and closed my eyes.
For a while, I heard San tidy things up, before finally the sound of the door falling into its lock sounded through the room. Immediately, I took my hat off and sighed in relief. The short hair was still weird, but it felt way better than having my head covered with some accessory.
oOo
Meixiang arrived around an hour before dinner, and although she wasn't particularly loud, I still woke up because of her presence in the room.
She immediately paused in the step she had wanted to take over the extra mattress. She looked ridiculous.
I supported myself on my elbows, as I looked questioningly at her.
"Sorry," she whispered. "I didn't want to wake you."
I didn't get why she was whispering, as I was clearly awake now, and I scrunched up my face in confusion, before I shrugged.
Finishing her step, she walked to the window to sit down on its ledge. She played nervously with her long, black hair, which I was really envious of at the moment. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed the scroll I had brought with me on a philosopher's opinion on power.
"What are you reading?" asked Meixiang several minutes later.
I had already dived into the content of the scroll, not really caring that she was standing next to me, as I looked up at her. I held the scroll so that she could read the title.
Her eyes grew wide. "Oh, do you want to have power? Maybe after defeating the Fire Nation, you could try to rule the Earth Kingdom, as the Earth King is gone," she proposed, but I didn't make out if she was being sarcastic or not.
I snorted and shook my head, grabbing my paper and pen. It's for school, I wrote.
She narrowed her eyes. "Aren't you too old for school?" she wanted to know.
I bit the inside of my cheek. Sure, I was, but not for the school I was attending. I wanted to justify myself, but I didn't want to give her any more information on my life, so I simply shrugged.
"You're younger than me," she suddenly said, and I thought that I didn't like her tone one bit.
I raised an eyebrow. So?
"You're planning a rebellion. It doesn't make sense to me," she added, before leaning forward, her eyes even more narrowed. "And everyone you're pulling into this will die because of you! You're crazy if you think your plan will work, and my sister-in-law is just as bad as you! It's a suicide mission, and you are idiots!"
Before I could stop myself, I opened my mouth, starting a rant… And of course no words came out, I only rasped, and my throat started hurting.
In annoyance, I gave a soundless snarl, my teeth bared, before I slammed my fist on the mattress. Trying to calm myself, I took a deep breath.
Dammit! How dare she accuse me of all this? Attacking the palace in one week had never been my plan! As if I didn't know it was risky! As if I didn't know many people would probably die, and that it could all go terribly wrong!
But the worst thing about this situation was the fact that I couldn't even defend myself. I couldn't tell her what I thought. I couldn't articulate what my opinion was on the matter, and how wrong she was about me. I could write it all down, of course, and make her read it, but I didn't think she would be willing to read my explanation. If I had started ranting at her, she wouldn't have had a choice but to listen to me, if she didn't want to have appeared childish, holding her ears. But on paper? She could simply crumble it, toss it away and say she didn't care what I had to say.
And I would have probably done the same thing. It's easy to take advantage of a person who can't defend themselves, even if it's only verbally.
Meixiang took a step towards me, leaning forward. Her face wasn't contorted in anger, it were simply her eyes which were narrowed to slits, making her look furious. "You just waltzed in here, demanding my sister-in-law helped you, and you're dragging her and my brother into your mess. We already had enough problems before you showed up and ruined everything! Getting the attention of the Fire Nation is the last thing we need! You have no idea what you've done!" she spat, her hands gesticulating wildly around her.
Contorting my eyebrows, I carefully observed her. She was getting a little too upset for someone who was merely concerned with not bringing attention to herself. What's more, I was pretty sure Cuiling and Liang had already told her about what we did and why. I couldn't imagine she didn't want to fight the Fire Nation. Or at least not stay under their occupation.
Tell me, I wrote.
She sniffed, frowning at my note, before she straightened herself and walked away.
oOo
Along with Takiro, Tao Zhu, and Aijian, Nanuk and Denzai had apparently decided to join us for dinner.
Nanuk seemed to have convinced Denzai to help him from preventing me sleeping at Tao Zhu's place next week. It was kind of cute, but also terribly idiotic of both of them. It would only plant ideas into Tao Zhu's head or preventing him from wanting to take me in at all.
San was also not so enthusiastic at seeing I would have to spend my next nights at strange men's places. She was very critical about all of them, and definitely didn't believe them that they were selling other vegetables at the market, next to Cuiling's cabbage cart. Tao Zhu tried to flirt with San, maybe because they were the same age, and he felt attracted to her (San was a nice kind of pretty with big, innocent eyes), or because he wanted her to loosen up, as she was clearly a worrywart right now. Either way, it didn't work. She simply shot him disgusted looks, probably because she thought they were all from the lower ring. It was better that way.
I myself didn't like the idea of having to sleep at strangers' homes. I believed none of them had a girlfriend, or wife, or children, where I would feel a lot more comfortable.
When San argued that she would come to their homes in the morning to care for me and leave in the evening, I actually wanted to hug her. I would feel way better knowing she would be there. But on second thought, it would prevent me from preparing for battle. I would need all day to practise waterbending from on top of Onyx, and go over the strategy, trying to work out loose ends. I would have to take care of that. I couldn't let Meixiang's words become true.
It will be okay, if you just accompany me to Dad, and you can show up around noon every day, but you really don't have to be there all day. You're not even paid for anything anymore. Please don't bother so much, I wrote down and handed her the note.
She bit on her lip before frowning heavily. "K- Liwei, I'm not doing this for payment. I worry about you! And I could never forgive myself, if I would just abandon your brother and you like this!"
My eyes grew wide. Oh. I had never thought of it this way. That was nice. Really nice of her.
Oh moon, it wasn't like I didn't like San, I really did, but having her worry about me was way more worry than what I ever got from Dad, and it meant that one adult person I had to lie to was a bit closer to my secrets. While Dad had been there, I think San did never worry so much, but without him, she was the only one who could worry.
Of course, there were still Uncle and Aunt, but I highly doubted we could still send letters to them. First of all, it would take weeks for any letters to reach them, secondly, I never tried writing to them since the occupation. It seemed too silly for the Fire Nation to still allow us to send letters out of Ba Sing Se.
And the thing is, San worried way better than Dad. She seemed way more interested in everything I did, while Dad… Yeah, he surely wouldn't get full marks in paying attention.
Nanuk leaned over her shoulder to read my note, before he raised his eyebrows at me.
I gave him a frantic look.
"Look, San, this is a little growing up adventure for Liwei. She'll be away from home for a longer time, for the first time. It's gonna be okay. I feel like she needs some alone time, too." Nanuk gave her a small smile, shrugging.
I felt truly grateful at having him today, as I smiled brightly at him.
"Besides, she can still waterbend. If someone will look strangely at her, they'll be encased in ice in no time," he added, grinning at me.
San chuckled slightly, before taking several deep breaths. "Alright," she sighed, before grabbing my hand, making me promise that I would lash out first and ask questions later.
Tao Zhu seemed a bit amused by all this, if still offended by San's lack of interest, while Takiro openly smiled, obviously touched by San's concern, and Aijian almost looked sad. I wondered if he perhaps remembered having someone he was so concerned for, and then losing them.
We worked out that I was to stay with Cuiling and Liang until Monday, then with Aijian until Wednesday, at Tao Zhu's for one night, at Takiro's until Saturday and then again at the Armadillo Lion. I wasn't exactly looking forward to that, but I hoped I could find out a bit more about each of them, making sure we could trust them. Of course, there were still way too much other people I would need to worry about, but at least, it would calm my nerves a little.
The next days quickly fell into a routine, although everything was different. I didn't like having to share a room, as I didn't have to do that for four years. Meixiang was also not the nicest roommate.
She would bring me towels and she even washed my clothes, but this seemed to be her general chores. During the day, she was working in a flower shop, which seemed very fitting to me. She might be angry at me for "ruining" her family, but she was still thin and fragile. Her round face was beautiful with rosy cheeks and lips, her black hair long, shiny, and slightly wavy, because she slept with braids at night. Seeing her in a flower shop, arranging bouquets was something that fit a girl her appearance. In general, she didn't really seem fierce to me. Her anger was held back, and most of the time I would have thought she liked me, if I didn't remember our first conversation.
San showed up for every lunch, insisting that she would cook something for me. She mostly made me crabs and mussels, for which I could have kissed her! She was also the one helping me each day with the bandages on my leg.
Fortunately, I was already able to take a bath by myself, and I kept on healing my stupid leg as well as I could, but it just didn't react. I couldn't build the flesh and muscle back. Even while concentrating on how my other leg felt, I didn't manage to do anything. So I got to work on my bending in the afternoon, climbing Onyx and bringing a water basin with me.
I managed to teach Onyx a few more tricks, walking sideward, or spinning quickly, depending on where I had to go. I even managed to teach him how to lower himself. He bent in his knees and lowered his neck, which would be practical, if a rock would come hurling toward us.
My bending worked pretty well, and the injury to my chest didn't even hurt anymore.
Whoever had tried to burn me alive had not succeeded. I might have been a cripple, and I might have not been able to speak, but I was still alive, and I was still fighting.
Since I knew having my voice in battle, and being able to shout orders would be helpful, I spent every evening experimenting with healing my throat.
Meixiang always looked pretty curious, when I did that, but she never said anything.
Later in the evenings, we would all meet in the cave under the Armadillo Lion with the other former military members and everyone else who was willing to fight. The number of people who were ready to fight had increased considerately in the last weeks. Our earthbenders had to extend the cave to caves, careful without bending into other people's basement.
Every evening, pairs would team up to fight against Tao Zhu, who would fight in traditional Dai Li style. From what I remembered from them down in the crystal catacombs, Tao Zhu's movements were accurate, and he really seemed to have told the truth, telling us he had been a Dai Li agent once.
When the majority left close to midnight, Nanuk, Denzai, Takiro, Tao Zhu, Aijian, Changpu, Hanjing, Geming, Zemin, and Shian stayed with Cuiling, Liang, and me. We were still working on the plan, trying to go over every little detail, especially our movements within the palace walls, as the palace itself was quite large.
To occupy the Dai Li agents and to better incapacitate them before the eclipse, we came up with a new plan. It turned out Tao Zhu knew of the crystal catacombs and the underground river. Apparently it was very close to the Dai Li's new quarters underneath the palace. The new headquarters weren't as waterproof as the old ones under a lake. We planned on using the river to flood them. Which means, I would flood them. Other earthbenders would create pressure on the river's stream, causing it to ascend in its way, which could in the end flood the whole palace square, which should make it even easier to incapacitate the Dai Li.
It was a lot to do for me and a lot of pressure, too, but with everyone so determined and excited it was hard not to get caught up in the hope shining in their eyes.
On Monday, Tao Zhu, Takiro, Shian, Hanjing, and I went to the underground river. Tao Zhu, Shian, and Hanjing were all earthbenders, and we quickly found our way closest to the palace.
The three of them bent a tunnel to the Dai Li's headquarters, which they left slightly closed. On Black Sunday, earthbenders would create a dam, causing the water to rise and flood the tunnel. With a little more pressure the earth wall which was left would crumble and let the water rush through.
They also bent another tunnel for our quick escape of the water for Sunday. Hanjing seemed to be happy with our work, saying he couldn't wait for the Dai Li scum to drown.
Tao Zhu scowled at him, and I declared again that our goal was not to kill people. And I highly doubted that the Dai Li would just die from something as flooding their headquarters. They seemed to be way too resourceful. It was probably merely a distraction to fight the Fire Nation during the eclipse. After the nine minutes we would hold victory, and there would be no Fire Nation officers left the Dai Li could take orders from. The Dai Li followed the strongest, but all of us seemed pretty sure about not wanting the Dai Li after our victory. If we could somehow pull it off, we would make their order dissolve itself.
Tao Zhu and Takiro seemed to be the two of us who wanted the Dai Li even more gone than the rest. I understood Tao Zhu's motivation, as he had been part of them, probably seeing things which would haunt him for his lifetime. But Takiro? Why would he hate the Dai Li so much?
I planned on finding out while staying at his house.
It turned out on Thursday that Takiro actually only had a flat. A very small flat. I was allowed to sleep in his bed, while he took his sofa, just like Aijian, and Tao Zhu had done it, too.
I was very grateful to the two of them for taking me in, even if only for a few days. Aijian had seemed okay with the silence, while Tao Zhu had talked enough for the both of us.
Whenever Takiro was gone, I tried to find some clues to his person in his flat. I knew it wasn't polite, but I didn't want to risk someone maybe betraying us. Aijian and Tao Zhu hadn't seemed to have anything to hide, but I was still curious on finding out more about Takiro.
I mean, his first words had been lies. Good, I was lying about my name, too, but still… Then, he was born in the colonies, maybe he still had some Fire Nation friends! And yes, I know I had had a Fire Nation friend, too, probably one of the worst of all, if the others would know that about me…
Either way, I didn't find anything which hinted at loyalty to the Fire Nation, only some work papers, patrolling schedules he had stolen from the palace for the rebellion, and a picture of a pretty woman with a very wide smile. She had chocolate brown eyes and black hair, her skin dark enough to show she spent a lot of time outdoors, so I assumed she was a hard worker. Or the painter didn't have had any other shade of colour. Although the woman looked tentative, her smile was bright and seemed happy.
Did Takiro have a girlfriend? As far as I knew he didn't, but maybe this was his sister, although she didn't look like him at all.
Putting the picture back, I quickly went outside again to practise my bending on Onyx's back. In the late afternoon, I needed another nap, but after experimenting with healing my vocal folds, I thought about how I could possibly ask Takiro about the woman.
Over dinner on Friday, I shoved a note towards him.
Can I ask you something?
His eyebrows rose in a questioning way, before he swallowed his rice, nodding. "Sure."
How was growing up in the colonies?
He grimaced. "It wasn't so bad. Of course, the Fire Nation people were always somehow richer and allowed to do more. It was especially nasty going to school with them. Their bullies would get away with everything, and we would get punished for their actions. But not all the Fire Nation kids were like that. Some just wanted friends and were great playmates. However, when I grew older, every one of us seemed to understand that a certain way of acting was expected of us. My fire friends met us seldom, and if we saw them, they only nodded, and we never talked long. They were expected to act superiorly towards us, and we were expected to do everything for them. My family had lived like that since I could remember, and my earth friends never complained much. It was just how things were." He shrugged. "But I couldn't take it anymore, and so I left in the end."
Wasn't that incredibly dangerous?
The corners of his mouth twitched, before he shook his head. "No, not at all. I just left with a delivery cart to Omashu. We weren't stopped or anything."
What did you do after then?
"For a while, I lived in Omashu. I actually only came here two years ago. Only through coincidence, I met someone who helped me get the job I have. I'm greatly indebted to her," he added, almost sadly, staring at his plate.
I had to fight to stop myself from smirking. I didn't know yet if I had the information I wanted. Two years is a long time to pay someone back.
"Oh, er, yeah." He cleared his throat. "She, er, she moved. I can't reach her anymore."
So she's not your girlfriend or anything?
His eyes widened at my question, and I swear I saw some pink colour on his cheeks. "N-no. We were never… Well, we didn't have a lot of time together," he added in a thoughtful way, before he looked back up at me. "But if we manage to defeat the Fire Nation, I might find her again."
Raising my eyebrows, I smiled a perfectly pleasant smile, nodding, trying to look reassuring.
Yes, if we defeated the Fire Nation, maybe things would become way better for so many people. All the imprisoned earth soldiers could return to their families, the generals would stop being tortured, and no one would have their house burnt down.
But the closer Black Sunday came, the more I feared it. What if everything went wrong? What if I had missed something important? What if someone would betray us? What if my safety net wouldn't work?
I didn't feel well at all. I felt agitated and afraid. I was shaking, and it felt like something bad would happen soon. It felt like how I had felt the day Zuko had told me about the Fire Nation's victory in the war.
I visited Dad on Saturday again, healing him, seeing how he had become thinner, and I started to worry. The doctors said they could keep him alive for a few more weeks, without him eating something properly, but I wouldn't have forever, until he would need to be fully healed. Since it took more time than I had thought, they began starting looking for alternative treatment plans and remedies again, but it seemed futile to me.
And Black Sunday came. I woke up early, nervous as hell, afraid, my stomach churning. There was stew for breakfast, and I was very grateful for that, as it wouldn't make me want to throw up. The warm liquid calmed my stomach, and the meat would give us strength.
All of us were incredibly tense and quiet. Meixiang kept shooting me dirty looks over breakfast, as Cuiling seemed to murmur things soundlessly to herself, while Liang mostly played around with his chopsticks.
At nine o'clock it was time. I had to go with Shian, and Hanjing, who would bring me to the entrance to the crystal catacombs. A dozen other earthbenders, including Nanuk, would wait for us to make our move on the Dai Li's headquarters.
I bowed to Cuiling, Liang, and Meixiang to say goodbye and thank them. I handed each of them a note, thanking them, telling them not to worry, to trust in their abilities for today. We would be alright. We had to be.
I swallowed several times, while riding Onyx to the catacombs. I tried to calm myself, telling myself I had already dealt with Fire Nation royalty, then their army couldn't be so bad.
"Liwei!" Nanuk shouted, running at me, as we emerged from the tunnel to the large hall lit by crystals.
I smiled widely at him, taking his hand in mine, as I had to look down at him.
"How are you?" Nanuk said quietly, his eyes wide and full with worry. We had only seen each other yesterday evening, as we all had gone over the plan again, with every each member of our rebellion.
I scrunched my face up in a way that said "Okay, but nervous as hell".
He nodded, biting on his lower lip. "Yeah, me, too." He wore his hair in a more practical style today, with all of it up in a bun so that it wouldn't fall into his face.
I had to stop myself from wearing a hat this morning. I had thought of bandaging my head, but in the end, I had left my head like it was. Patched, short, unsymmetrically cut hair which began way too far on the forehead, which was paler than the rest of my face due to a large scar.
Nanuk squeezed my hand again, as if he knew what I had been thinking. Looking at him, I couldn't help but think that he looked like a real warrior now. Every one of the earthbenders around us wore some kind of patched up armor, nothing looked like it had meant to be armor, even those who used to be soldiers, and I wondered if they maybe didn't have that armor anymore. But the most important thing was that each and every one of us was wearing green. Some wore yellow, beige or brown underneath, but our top clothes were all green, and that was the most important message.
Looking over the earthbenders, I felt a little like a general. I was sitting on the back of an ostrich horse, while the rest was standing on the floor, waiting for orders. I figured they looked to Hanjing, who had held the highest rank of all of them in the army, but I wanted my piece, too; since I had been crucial to the planning and evolving of the plan.
I handed Nanuk a scroll which he eagerly opened, before looking at me in a confused way. I gave him an encouraging nod.
"Everyone! Listen! I'm going to read what my sister Liwei prepared for us. She isn't only our waterbender, but also the person we should thank for being able to stand here," he said, and I blushed slightly, as nothing of that was mentioned in the scroll.
Nanuk smiled at me, before he continued, my scroll hanging next to him. "She and her friend Shoi-ming came up with the idea of planning a rebellion. We wrote flyers to rise up the people, to make them become aware to the injustice we have to live with. And we found the Armadillo Lion, which brought us all together. Just like my sister brought us all together, demanding from the Armadillo Lion that we needed help, and that we were recruiting and holding meetings. Some of you came to a meeting, some of you were recruited. Either way, it was through her that is happened. Liwei invented our code, she came up with most of our plan, and she will be crucial in today's fight. Her waterbending will be extremely important for us to take out the Dai Li. Are you ready to defend her with your life?" Nanuk wanted to know, his voice strong and confident.
He stood there, at my feet, next to Onyx like a general himself, and everyone listened to him, seemingly hanging on his every word.
A very strong "Yes!" came from the men.
Nanuk nodded. "Without her, we might fail today. And failure is not an option. Are you ready to die for her?"
My eyes grew wide at Nanuk's words. I wouldn't have gone that far.
But the answer was just as strong as the first one, if not even stronger.
"I want each of you to look out for her through the whole battle. Remember, no waterbending, no victory." I couldn't see Nanuk's face, but I could imagine how hard it looked. Then he cleared his throat and looked down at the scroll I had handed to him.
"People of the Earth Kingdom. You are persistent, stubborn and strong like a rock. You are proud and willing to endure everything as long as you've got hope. It is with great pride that I can call myself one of you. But our nation has been burnt. It has been invaded, and soon it will turn to ash. Today is the day, the only day we can put a stop to it. Today is the day of the eclipse. It is the day nature itself gives us an advantage over our enemy. We embrace nature's gift, and we will use everything we have to achieve our goal. We will do everything we can to free Ba Sing Se today! We have trained, we have planned, and we are strong. We are the Rebellion of the Armadillo Lion. The Armadillo Lion brought us here, and as we all know large cats are the only enemy of the dragon. We are armadillo lions! We are panda tigers! We are gnu leopards! We are the large cats of the Earth Kingdom who will take the dragons down. We will defeat the dragons, and we will drive them away off to where they came from!"
In that moment, the men cheered. Just as I had imagined them to while I had written the speech. It felt pretty cool, like in one of my historical novels, when the king or general gave the speech to his army. Although those dozen men were surely not an army.
"And together, as the people of earth, we will defeat them!" Nanuk shouted, and the men shouted back warrior cries, as well as insults to the Fire Nation.
A thrilling feeling went through my veins, I felt excited at the prospect of battle, at the prospect of winning and being free again. My speech affected me, and I knew it was also because Nanuk pronounced everything in a very convincing way. He was a great talker.
The bad feelings I had had about this day were almost all gone.
"For the Earth Kingdom!"
As everyone around us screamed with enthusiasm and pugnacity, I knew it had been the right decision to write this speech.
Zuko
A part of me felt bad for not leaving earlier and warning the invasion troupe that Azula knew about their plan. But I also knew that they wouldn't have believed me.
If I had somehow made it to them, and I had no idea where they even had been before arriving on the main island, I would have been shot down, bound and maybe even killed, before I could have opened my mouth. I was relatively confident that the Avatar would listen to me, but these grown men, these warriors had really fought in the war for years. I wouldn't hold it past them if they would kill firebenders just on sight.
And I was a little bit worried about the Avatar not getting out of here, but I knew Azula's plan was only to steal his time, and then to tell him where Father was. If the Avatar was smart, he would leave right after that.
I hated everything about this day. So many lives would be lost for nothing. I mean, Azula knew about the invasion, and she and Father set up a plan which involved hiding. It didn't involve saving our people at the port from enemy forces, but I shouldn't be surprised. Father had already willingly let his own soldiers die before.
So, there was the battle I hated. I hated having to leave Mai, and know that it would seem to her like I didn't care enough. I did care for her, and I was almost sure I loved her. The last week we had spent together had been great, like out of some very badly written, cheesy romance novel. What Uncle used to read. Mai had been nicer again, smiling a lot, chuckling a little, blushing at some of my comments, and just thinking about it made me feel like an absolute asshole. She had told me she was worried she wouldn't be enough for me. And I had reassured her, only to break my promise.
But if I had to be completely honest with myself, the world's fate meant more to me than Mai. If I could only be with her in a bad world, I would rather leave her and try to make the world better. I would try to make the Fire Nation better.
My thoughts reminded me of Kilara, who had said the exact same thing about our friendship. That she'd rather be no friends with me in a good world than being friends with me in a bad world.
And now I understood that it really didn't mean I hadn't meant enough to her. (Or it didn't have to mean that, but it had probably meant it when she said it, as she hadn't wanted to be my friend anymore) The way I felt about Mai… It was strong, stronger than almost anything I've ever felt. But my duty to my nation was more important, because it wasn't all only about me. The world was at stake. The Earth Kingdom was at stake, and if leaving meant saving half the world's population, then it wasn't a question to me anymore.
Because of Mai, everything had seemed so perfect lately, and I had completely forgotten about my talk with Ty Lee on the beach at night. But yesterday, after hearing my father's plan, after realising it would mean so many innocent people would die, people who had faces and names in my head – Song, Li, Smellerbee, Longshot, Pao, Jin, Denzai, Nanuk, Kilara, even Jet – I couldn't just do nothing. It felt like back then during my first war meeting, as the urge to save people had been too big as to listen to Uncle's words from earlier.
Yesterday, I had managed to remain silent, but I had known that if I couldn't say something, I had to do something.
And what I hated more about this day was that I had to leave my family. Not really Azula and Father, but who Azula and Father had been once, who I had hoped we could be again with time. But leaving would mean giving them up. I felt sad for Azula, but not for Father.
With the plan for Sozin's comet, with what Father had shown yesterday, a side of him I always knew he had, but had never wanted to see, I had given up on him. I had understood that this man would never be able to love me, and I had also understood that I would rather die than get his love. I didn't want to be loved by someone like him. I didn't want a father like him, and I didn't want to live in a world ruled by him.
But what I hated the most about this day was that my mind was suddenly clear. I saw, and I understood. I knew for sure that I had done horrible things in my life, and now there was no way for me of justifying them. I was determined to make it up to the people I had wronged, but it would be hard. Seeing all the mistakes I made was no nice experience. I tried to push my guilty feelings aside, concentrating more on doing the right things now, and doing them well. I would need to beg for forgiveness. A part of me was revolted by that, but remembering what I had done, I would cringe, and I worried if begging for forgiveness would even be enough for the Avatar and his friends to trust me.
The whole day, Ty Lee's words, Kilara's words, and all of Uncle's words had been rushing through my head, while I had taken preparations. Almost immediately after the meeting had I begun to pack.
No one had bothered me, and no one had come to my room. It was perfect. But I didn't trust it. Although, maybe it was a sign. Maybe everything would work out just fine, because I was finally planning something for the good side. Because I listened to love, not to anger.
I grimaced at the thought, it sounded a lot like Uncle. But then I had to smile. Maybe it was good I sounded like him. Maybe it would help me make him forgive me.
I slung my bag over my shoulder and didn't look back when I closed my door.
Kilara
Everything had gone well so far.
Flooding the Dai Li's headquarters, flooding the palace square, incapacitating the Dai Li agents. It really weren't much of them. Encasing them in ice had left many of us able to find against the Fire Nation soldiers.
We met up with Cuiling and Meixiang, who were accompanied by former Colonel Changpu, Lieutenant Geming and several other former members of the army.
Pushing through to the throne room was also easy. Takiro knew the way, and I had plenty of water at my disposal.
When we pushed through the doors to the throne room, there were only three Dai Li agents standing around the throne with one woman sitting in it. Her legs were crossed, and she had one elbow on an armrest, supporting her head, as she eyed us curiously.
I immediately began to feel like something was wrong. My heart beat strongly all the way into my throat. I was excited from the battle, from bending, and I was frightened of what might come.
The doors closed behind us, being bent by six Dai Li agents, pushing some of our warriors out of the room. They were screaming in rage and in pain.
Now we were only two dozen maybe.
I wondered how the Dai Li agents managed to keep the door shut. There were way more of our earthbenders out there.
"Well, well, well, so you are the little rebellion I heard about," the woman on the throne said, before standing up and making her way to us. She smiled widely, showing all her teeth, as her dark hair flowed behind her.
My eyes widened in recognition, and I felt all the blood leaving my face. She looked just like the woman on the painting I had found at Takiro's!
Suddenly, as if on cue, all around the room, on every wall, several Dai Li agents jumped down from the ceiling. They surrounded us, they were thrice as many people as we were. If I had water with me in here, we would have a chance. But I didn't have any besides that which was still engulfing my arms. And that was way too less.
There were still may people of us outside, but I was sure the Dai Li wouldn't hesitate to kill all of us, opening the doors later and just slaughter the rest of the rebels.
The agents advanced on us.
"Now, who of you was planning all this? There had got to be a brain behind this brilliant plan," the woman fluted, and I chose to call her Joo Dee in my head, as that's probably who she was. Supreme Bureaucratic Advisor Joo Dee. The executive of the Fire Lord in Ba Sing Se.
I swallowed. Shit, she wanted me.
At least, that's what I thought. Sure, Cuiling had the contacts, but I had started all this. If I could go back and unstart it all, right now, I would.
To my horror, no one said anything, no one even glanced in my direction.
"Hm," Joo Dee pouted, regarding her nails. "So this means all of you have to land in high security prisons, until you can be brought before the Fire Lord. It's a pity, really. I wished I wouldn't have to occupy his time with scum like you."
My es widened. Before the Fire Lord?
I tightened my grip on Onyx's reins, as I seemed to shake. Out of fear, maybe. Or out of anger.
She said she had known of our rebellion. She had had more Dai Li agents waiting in here. They had escaped the flood! She only had Dai Li agents in here, which meant the non-firebending firebenders were all outside. But maybe there was still hope.
There were a lot of us outside. There were a lot of us on the outer wall. They could still win, and come and help us. But in that moment, loud shouting was heard from the halls.
I froze with terror. Those screams…
What was happening out there?
All of us seemed to wear the same looks of horror, as we all turned our heads to the large doors.
"Oh, er, the special Dai Li agents seem to take care of your friends out there. They were ordered not to leave a single soul alive. But maybe revealing your leader would put a stop to the fighting out there," she mused, tapping her chin.
I glared at her, wondering if Princess Azula had given her a crash course on how to act like the malicious princess. But Takiro had still implied he had loved this woman…
Had he betrayed us because of Joo Dee?
Frantically, I looked around, searching for him, my gaze hanging on several people before travelling further.
"It was her!" A loud, shrill voice sounded through the room, and I searched for the source.
Behind the Dai Li agents, out of the circle they had drawn around us, stood Meixiang.
She walked up to Joo Dee and then very clearly pointed at me. "The girl with the scars and short hair on the ostrich horse. She was the one planning everything! She made them follow her, and she alone is responsible for all their actions!"
So you've made it through this long chapter! Thanks so much for reading!
And I am so sorry for so little Zuko in this chapter. It was necessary, but since you all know, Zuko will join the gaang, so there will be a lot of Zuko in the next chapters! And not just Zuko, but Zuko interacting with the gaang! I've been waiting for forever to finally write this!
Kira's voice has still not returned, but the only other bad thing right now is her leg. And of course, that someone obviously betrayed the rebellion. The scene mirrors a little bit what Aang experiences at the same time in the capital, finding out that Azula had known about the invasion, but it is still different. Betrayal is worse.
Answers to reviews:
To uchihaNaruto247: Yeah, I thought so, too, about Azula's flirting attempts. Well, Kira's scars will fade with time, but it takes a while. I actually have burned myself accidentally on the oven two weeks ago, and I described the healing process of Kira's burns just like mine, although I actually have no idea how a burn from fire would heal. Well, about her legs, that's for me to know and for you to find out... Actually, I don't know it yet. Healing a wound like this, where flesh and muscles are missing, seems maybe too complicated for waterhealing. I don't know yet what I will do about this situation. Of course, I don't want Kira not to be able to walk properly for the rest of her life, but it's also a humbling experience, and I think it gives her character more deepness. And I think it's also typical for characters from ATLA to experience a low. Well, as you read here, Kira is resourceful and managed to find a way to fight the Fire Nation just fine. Of course, not fighting them could not have been an option for her, and I knew that. About Izumi's mother, I meant that the fandom doesn't know. It wasn't confirmed a hundred percent that Mai is Izumi's mother, and I meant that not finding out through Legend of Korra angered me, so I wanted to answer this question for myself. And of course Kira will be Izumi's mother, but what will then exactly happen is still a lot of chapters away. I really wish I could answer all your questions, but that would heavily spoil you! Aw, thanks! I'm really trying with the reaching reader's emotions part! And thanks so much to you for reviewing every time, it really means a lot to me. I love reading what you think about my chapters!:D
To Reading Rainbow7: Thank you for your review! It's great reading reviews from new readers! Well, the comics are canon to me, too, that's why I use material from them. Not making people feel like they're rewatching the series is exactly what I have aimed at! I personally don't like it very much when I read fics, in which the series are just retold, as I know the series pretty well. ATLA has been on Netflix in my country for years, so of course I've been watching it a lot, also to research for my fic. And inventing things between the scenes of the series feels like more fun to me, as I can really be creative. Yeah, making them seem like real teenagers is important to me. Yes, they are fighting a war, but they are also teenagers, who should have normal teenage problems, or at least think normal teenage thoughts. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!:)