Disclaimer: I don't own Y&R
Hi everyone! Thank you all so much for reading this story. The response I've been getting is both encouraging and overwhelming. It's nice to know that you look forward to the chapters.
This is another, 'what if' story. I still don't like the way Billy left Amanda in the suite after the kiss. Here is me trying to get Billy to make it right ;)
Here we go
Billy walked into Pabloz Club (made it up because Genoa City bar names elude me) unable to focus on anything else. He just needed a drink, a really strong drink to purge the sight of Amanda and Nate together out of his mind.
He walked straight to the bar and ordered the strongest drink they had before sitting on the stool. He hoped no one would approach him. He wasn't in the mood. When the drink was laid out in front of him, he took a long gulp before making a face at the bitter taste and strong burning sensation as the drink passed his throat.
Setting the glass back down, he went back to his thoughts. He didn't know how long he sat there just lost.
He couldn't believe she was out with Nate. Actually he could believe it. He knew the doctor was interested in her. Anyone with eyes could see it. He always hovered around her and made his disapproval of him very clear. It would make sense she would go to him.
He took another sip.
Was that why she bulked at the idea of a relationship with him and insisted they be friends and 'coffee buddies'? He thought he had made his intentions clear. Back when they began their friendship, both of them were not looking for anything more. They were there for each other but things had changed and it became more no matter how they tried to deny it. That's why he failed to make things work with Victoria. That's why Ripley wanted to kill Amanda. It was clear to
So then why was she with him?
He knew the answer to that. Nate was stable, he was professional, he had his life put together and he had no drama. Unlike him. He was good for her. He would give her the calmness she needed.
So what to do about it? Was he going to bow out gracefully and let her live her life with Nate?
No.
If seeing them hurt this much, how would he handle seeing them over and over all around Genoa? And God forbid if they got engaged or worse married.
No.
He wasn't going to let this lie. He was going to go and talk to her. He had to at least try because he had realised something, something that had been staring at him for quite some time now.
He loved her.
He Billy Abbott, loved Amanda Sinclair. What was not to love about her? She was gorgeous, passionate, caring, charming, strong and driven. Everything he wanted in a woman. She understood him in ways no one had and he wanted to be a better person not because she demanded it, but because he didn't want to disappoint her.
He had to let her know. If the kiss they shared was anything to go by, she felt the same for him.
He could only hope.
XXX
Amanda was laying on her bed reading a novel trying to find some elusive sleep. Ok she wasn't really reading but staring at the pages of the Jane Austen novel, her thoughts otherwise engaged.
Tonight had been great. Some would say perfect. She had been dressed to the nines, she was wined and dined by the handsome charming doctor Nate. They had talked and traded stories, they had gone bowling where she wiped the floor with him and they had kissed.
Perfect date.
If only it was and she knew the reason why it wasn't.
Billy Abbott.
She couldn't help compare Nate with him and Nate was coming up short.
Sure their friends endorsed them. Sure they looked together and would make the perfect couple…the very definition of black love as some would say but there was one thing missing that was all too important.
Chemistry
She just didn't have it with him. It felt like she was talking to her friend or brother. There was nothing there. It was even more significant when he kissed her. She had felt nothing. Not the way she had felt with Billy. The fireworks, the passion, the pull…
Billy Abbott.
She just couldn't get him out of her mind no matter how much she tried. She had maintained her distance from him and so far it worked. They hadn't met since she asked that they be friends. She had gone about with her life and she assumed he had with his.
She still missed him. She missed talking to him. She missed their chats. There were times she just wanted to pick up the phone and text him about something.
What was she going to do?
Nothing.
He had made himself clear to her what he thought of them and she wasn't going to seek him out. She was going to keep trying with Nate. He was a nice guy and she knew he would treat he well.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. She frowned wondering who it could be that late.
She grabbed her peach silk robe which matched her nightdress and tied it around her before she opened the door.
"Billy? What are you doing here?" said Amanda in surprise before tightening her robe around herself. She noted he was still in his work clothes, a grey suit that looked great on him.
Billy stared at her. She looked gorgeous the peach of her nightgown going well with her glowing skin and highlighting the shape of her body. Her face was bare of makeup and if possible, it made her even more beautiful. He just wanted to touch her and kiss her again.
Amanda felt self-conscious at the way he was looking at her then she caught a whiff of alcohol on him. "Are you drunk?"
"No. My head is as clear as it can be. We need to talk." said Billy not even bothering to ask before he entered her room.
"Now?" said Amanda watching him before she closed the door with a sigh. "This can't wait until tomorrow? I'm really tired and…"
"I saw you. With Nate." interrupted Billy looking at her.
"What?" said Amanda with a puzzled look.
"Are you together now?"
Amanda narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't see how that is any of your concern given we are just friends." said Amanda. She took a deep breath. "Why are you here Billy?"
"Because I want to be with you." stated Billy.
"Oh please don't. Don't even go there. In fact, why don't you just leave?" said Amanda pointing at the door.
"I'm not leaving until we talk about this."
"There is nothing to talk about. You made yourself pretty clear."
"You are the one who said we should be friends!" shouted Billy frustrated. He never wanted this. He didn't want the distance growing between them.
"Because you walked out on me!" Amanda shouted back. "After everything that you said to me…after I kissed you back, you walked out! Do you know what that made me feel? Stupid! I had actually started to believe that you might feel something for me. I guess I was wrong."
"You were not wrong! I told you how I felt Amanda. I laid it out on the table and yes, I walked out but it didn't mean you had to go straight to Nate!"
"What was I supposed to do? Wait for you? Wait for what? You left me standing there as if what happened didn't mean anything to you! And now, here you are again! Saying you want to be with me. Why? Did you go to Victoria and she refused to take you back? Is that it? Is that why you are here?"
"No! That not…"
"You know what? I don't care. I'm done. I'm not falling for that again so you can just go back to Victoria or whoever you want to be with and leave me the hell alone!"
"Amanda…"
"No Billy. Not this again. Just go! Leave!" said Amanda holding the door open for him.
"I'm not leaving." said Billy adamant. He was not making the same mistake twice. "I can't do that."
"Then what do you want?!" shouted Amanda slamming the door shut making him flinch.
"I want you." said Billy calmly
"Me?! Amanda scoffed. "You don't want me. I don't think you ever did. I was just someone to pass time and help you sort out your feelings that's it."
"You are wrong!" said Billy. "You were never that to me and you know it." He moved closer to her. "I wasn't lying to you Amanda. Everything that I said to you that night, I meant it."
"Then why?!" said Amanda throwing her hands up in frustration. "Why did you leave? Did you regret kissing me?"
"No! No! Never." Said Billy before he tentatively took her hands hoping she wouldn't pull away. She didn't and it gave him hope. He looked into her gorgeous eyes. "That kiss…You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that." He sighed. "Leaving that night was the stupidest thing I've ever done. In hindsight, I should have stayed and talked it all out with you but I felt like I was pushing you too much especially so soon after Ripley and I thought maybe I should give you some time. Give us some time."
"It didn't look that way to me. It felt like you were leaving for good. Like you changed your mind. I couldn't blame you though. I mean Victoria was hurt by my ex. You were bound to feel something about that. I just felt so used and hurt."
Billy's heart broke at the sad look she had. He gently caressed her hands. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. It was never my intention. And what Ripley did is his own fault not yours." said Billy. "I went to see to Victoria that morning. To officially end things with her. I didn't want any miscommunications or confusions about where I stood with her and with you."
"You did that?" said Amanda surprised. She didn't know he had ended things. She thought he had returned to her. She knew Billy still loved Victoria. Love just didn't shut off and when the person you love is hurt, things changed.
"Yes. I told you, we are over. I am never going back to her and don't blame yourself for that. It was long time coming. You changed my life Amanda. You made me realise what I needed to truly be happy and that includes you." He gently cupped her face with his hands and looking into her eyes he said the words that he …"I love you."
"What?" said Amanda, her heart skipping a beat. He loved her?
"I am in love with you Amanda. I don't know how that happened but it did and don't say it's because I saw you with Nate. I had been feeling that way for a while now but I couldn't place what it was. Seeing you with Nate just clarified it for me. I want to be with you. I hope I'm not too late."
"You love me." said Amanda in wonder. Billy loved her.
"With all my heart. You don't have to say it back. I just wanted you to know so you can see just how serious I am about this." said Billy, his heart beating so hard he was sure he would burst one vein. He was nervous. He didn't know how he could take it if she rejected him now.
Amanda searched his eyes and could only see love, hope and sincerity. It filled her with happiness and hope that maybe this was happening.
"You are not too late." she said softly.
Leaning in she captured his lips in a passionate kiss, her arms going around his neck, her fingers settling at the nape of his neck. Fireworks exploded in her eyes. This felt so amazing, so right with him. She felt his arms wrap around her waist holding her close to his hard body. It felt really good to be in his arms like this.
They parted their lips when the need for air became too much to ignore. They stared at each other, both breathing hard trying to get as much air as they could before they collided again in a passionate kiss. This time, their hands joined in the fun trailing and caressing wherever they could reach.
Amanda let out a gasp when Billy's lips left hers and trailed to her neck. Her fingers began working on the buttons on his shirt, popping them open as fast as she could resisting the urge to just rip it. She pushed it out of his trousers and over his shoulders her hands going straight to the bare skin of his shoulders, chest and abs appreciating the right amount of muscle he had. He was really well built.
Billy in turn was caressing her wherever he could touch, her smooth shoulders, her back her thighs and ass. He was so hard the combination of her touch, her sighs and scent making him near combustion. What set him off was when she whispered, "I want you." God the woman was trying to kill him.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." Said Amanda her heart beating fast. She wanted him so bad. Just like she had the morning they had kissed. If they hadn't stopped, she was sure she would have jumped him. "Just…Please don't take it back." she whispered.
"Never." said Billy wanting to erase the insecurity he had put there. Never again was he going to do that to her again.
Gently he walked them to the bed before he lay her on the bed. He looked at her, her soft hair splayed around her, her eyes heavy with need, her skin flushed, and her nipple pointy against the silk nightdress. She was so beautiful and he was suddenly filled with a burst of love for her. He wanted her feel how much he loved her, how much he wanted her and needed her.
He set about it, taking off her nightdress, worshiping her naked body, every single piece of skin with his touch, with his kisses and tongue. He watched as her eyes closed with each sensation that passed through her, he listened to her little sighs and moans. She was so responsive to his touch.
She in turn touched him, helped him remove his clothes, her small hands trailing his body almost curiously as if she were new to this. he watched as she came, back arched, mouth slightly open, eyes closed, trembling as he pumped his fingers inside her. it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.
When they eventually joined, with her on top of him, it was the most amazing sensation, being inside her, feeling her contract around him as she moaned out his name before throwing her head back as she came.
He didn't know how he managed to hold on from cumming himself but he turned them so she was on her back and he began drilling in her. Her small hands clutched onto him as if she was hanging on to her life before she came again this time taking him with her into the abyss.
Billy watched as she slowly opened her eyes and they focused on him.
Amanda felt his hand gently run in her hair and it felt good. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at him. She had never felt so connected to someone before. Never felt so much pleasure. "I love you." She said. It was all she could say to sum up all she was feeling and even that seemed too little.
Billy's eyes widened at her words before he smiled, happiness filling his heart. "I love you." said Billy before kissing her softly.
Amanda giggled, feeling giddy. It might feel too soon to say those 3 little words that had always been hard for her to say, but with Billy it just felt right. They settled against each other, just basking in their newly found love.
"So what happens now? With you and Nate?"
"We weren't serious. We just went on the date because Phyllis begged me to and Elena on his part. There is nothing for you to worry about."
"I was really jealous." admitted Billy.
"I can imagine you would be but he is nothing but a friend. I don't feel half the things I feel when I'm with you."
Billy wore a smug grin at that. "You looked really beautiful."
"Thank you."
"I'm sorry I hurt you."
"It's ok. We just didn't communicate well. Ironic given we are expects at reading each other."
"I know right." Said Billy with a light laugh. "From now on, we talk things through and not just assume. Deal?"
"Deal." Said Amanda smiling feeling so happy and hopeful about the future. She was where she belonged, in the arms of the most unlikely person she would have thought.
The end
Did you like my version?
I still don't understand why Billy left that morning. if I were Amanda I would give him a piece of my mind. I hope they talk about that kiss on the show.