Here we go - Season 5!

There's not gonna be a whole lot rewritten from Season 5 - like I said at the outset, my goal was to eventually link back up with continuity here. But there are a few things that need to change, now that Zen's been an ongoing tension since Season 3...

(I also couldn't resist imagining a new opening credits sequence.)

INT. VISTA CRUISER – NIGHT

A) The gang out on the road. Eric drives, with Donna next to him and Hyde in the passenger's seat. Behind him sits Jackie, then Fez, then Kelso.

THEME SONG:

Hangin' out...

B) Hyde drives, his arm around Jackie while Kelso sits in the passenger's seat. Behind him sits Eric, then Donna, then Fez. Kelso tries to reach an arm across Jackie, but Hyde gives him a jab to the head without looking away from the road, and he pulls his arm back.

THEME SONG:

Down the street...

C) Jackie drives, with Donna next to her and Kitty in the passenger's seat.

THEME SONG:

The same old thing...

D) Bob drives, while Kitty and Red cuddle together in the back behind the passenger's seat.

THEME SONG:

We did last week...

E) Fez drives, with Donna next to him and Eric in the passenger's seat. Behind him sits Kelso, then Hyde, then Jackie. Eric and Donna lean into Fez as they sing along.

THEME SONG:

Not a thing to do...

F) Jackie drives, with Hyde next to her. Donna and Eric cuddle in the back behind the passenger's seat. Jackie and Donna try to sing along, but Hyde and Eric distract them by kissing their cheeks and necks.

THEME SONG:

But talk to you...

G) Red drives, with Kitty next to him and Bob in the passenger's seat. Behind him sits Hyde, then Eric, then Donna. The kids and Bob sing along while Kitty smiles and Red scowls.

THEME SONG:

We're all alright!

H) Eric drives, with Donna next to him and Hyde in the passenger's seat. Behind him sits Jackie, then Fez, then Kelso.

THEME SONG:

We're all alright!

I) The creators' license plate, a 1977 sticker in the corner.

HYDE (v.o.):

Hello, Wisconsin!

INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT

ERIC jumps over the couch and races up the stairs.

ERIC:

Dammit, I'm going! I gotta go pack!

FEZ jumps to his feet and hurries up after him.

FEZ:

Wait, let me help! I love putting together outfits.

Once both of them are up the stairs, HYDE moves to the couch. After turning on the TV, JACKIE does the same.

HYDE:

Finally.

JACKIE:

Yeah, I thought they'd never leave.

They lean into each other and start to make out.

JACKIE (cont'd):

You know, Steven, it was really nice of you to get that ticket for Eric.

HYDE:

Nice nothing, baby. Let's skank up his bed while he's gone.

Jackie chokes down a laugh but can't hide a smile. Hyde grins back and pulls her face back to his, and they go at it again.

INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – DAY

The next day. Jackie and Hyde stand in front of an open fridge, making out.

JACKIE:

Okay, Steven, summer's almost over. Now, where is this going?

HYDE:

Jackie, you know the rules: no talking 'til the blood gets back up north.

She considers, shrugs, and goes back to making out.

KITTY enters from the living room. Hyde and Jackie break apart as Kitty's eyes bulge and her jaw drops.

KITTY:

I KNEW IT!

HYDE:

No, it's not what you think!

If she even heard him, she ignores it.

KITTY:

"She's not his girlfriend, Mom." "She's not my girlfriend, Mrs. Forman." Well!

(laughs)

Oh, I am just so -

JACKIE:

Eric's in California.

All of Kitty's joy drains away. She turns heel and heads straight back into the living room.

HYDE:

Jackie, you just totally burned Forman.

(beat)

That is so badass.

And back to making out they go.