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Sally Anne-Perks

Rita was flying around in her beetle form trying to find some students discussing gossip. She flew right by a cave entrance that was seemingly pitch-black inside. Choosing to be nosy, Rita flew down and reverted back to her normal form, then she walked into the cave. As it really was pitch-black inside the cave, Rita had little choice to put her hands in front of her so she wouldn't bump into a wall or an unseen boulder. Half a minute later, some kind of light turned on and forced the egomaniac of a journalist to shield her eyes with a hand. Once her eyes adjusted to the light inside the cave, Rita looked around and saw some kind of obstacle course. Some obstacles were made out of wood, some were made out of metal, some were floating on water or some other unidentified liquid, and the last one appeared to be floating in what appeared to be mud.

"Look who decided to drop by!" sneered a familiar voice from behind Rita.

The egomaniacal journalist jumped in surprise and turned around. She saw Harry and a girl with hazel eyes and golden-blonde hair in braids. Harry was dressed in a red sleeveless shirt and gold swim shorts and the girl was in a yellow cap-sleeved t-shirt and black spandex shorts.

"Congratulations, Skeeter," the girl responded in a sarcastic tone of voice. "You found our extremely easy obstacle course."

"Who might you be?" Rita asked the girl.

"Sally Anne-Perks," said the girl irritably. "And it's bad enough to twist the truth up and write whatever the hell you want, but slandering Harry in particular is worse. You care more about getting an audience with those lame or false stories than you do about the truth."

"If you wish to get out of here, Skeeter," Harry told her in a mocking tone. "You'll have to go through the obstacle course."

He motioned with his thumb, with Rita looking again and realizing what the purpose of the obstacle course turned out to be. Her usual outfit was replaced with a green, one-piece swimsuit, causing the journalist's face to turn bright-red in embarrassment. The first obstacle she had to go through was a set of fifty monkey bars and she was required to swing from all of them to the next one. Rita tried skipping one of them to speed up the process, but the bars were charmed to move out of her grasp should she try. That also resulted in Rita letting go and falling forward into some kind of yellow liquid, which turned out to be urine.

"We have your number, Skeeter!" Sally mocked her.

Rita found out that anytime she let go, she had to start over. Her nose scrunched up because the urine smelled awful. After she got through the monkey bars, she saw a couple of climbing walls. As soon as she climbed up the first one, Rita realized too late that it was the wrong one because she started getting drenched in a kind of faded-green liquid.

"That's stomach acid," Harry told Rita. "You'll feel yourself getting burned until you climb over the second wall."

Rita screamed out in pain, with Harry and Sally laughing themselves silly. After the journalist climbed over the second wall, she came across a rickety bridge over a pool of green slime. After reaching the halfway point of the bridge, it opened up to make Rita fall into the slime. Harry and Sally continued laughing themselves silly as the crazy journalist wiped some of the slime off of her face. Rita was magically lifted back up as the bridge was also magically repaired, so she could finish and go on to the next obstacle. Rita found herself being magically strapped into a harness connected to a bungee rope.

"This obstacle will be pretty painful for you, Skeeter," Harry informed the journalist, with a sneer. "Just so you know."

Rita was launched up into the air, much to her fright because of acrophobia. She felt her arms, legs, and shoulders getting slashed by an invisible force. Then Rita fell into the pit that was seemingly filled with mud. She saw that the slashes caused bleeding and it nearly made her pass out. After smelling how awful the stench was, Rita looked down and saw that the pit wasn't filled with mud, it was hippogriff manure.

"You see, Skeeter," Sally sneered at the journalist (who had a mixture of shock and disgust on her face. "Landing in that manure while bleeding will allow the germs to enter your bloodstream. Fecal germs won't go down so easily, but in your case more and more will easily take over and kill you."

Rita screamed as she tried wiping away the manure from her wounds, but it was too late since she was already in the pit. She was also magically sealed in it to ensure that she couldn't escape. It was five minutes later when Rita felt a fever flaring up and her strength draining. It wasn't much longer when more and more of the fecal germs easily invaded Rita's body and finished the job. Once she was dead, Rita's corpse began sinking out of sight. The school's house elves cleaned up and Dobby added in a trampoline in the obstacles' place.

"You get on the trampoline first, my sweet Sally," said Harry. "Ladies first."

"Thank you, my wonderful Harry." said Sally gratefully.

Once she climbed onto the trampoline, Harry got on and the two began jumping while laughing. Now that the beetle was gone for good, maybe the Daily Prophet could start hiring more reliable and trustworthy employees in the future. For Harry, it meant that there wasn't the beetle around to slander him and keep him in the spotlight against his will. Things were finally looking up.

The End!

Author's note: Another one-shot finished. Which girl should Harry be paired with in the next one-shot? Please let me know in a review or a PM, happy reading!