Christmas, 2009, Denver, CO
"It's strange, being away from the kids," Brad said, straightening his tie. "It's almost sinful, the feeling of being completely removed from responsibility for a night." He took a deep breath and fixed his shoulders.
"You hate it," Will said, grinning.
"Yeah," agreed Brad. "But I'll make it through to intermission before I have to give them a call."
Will glanced across the reception hall with a twinge of anxiety, but it was only a little one. Toby had performed this show at least a dozen times already. Will was glad to be able to make it to his final performance. The last one, he thought. The last one before Toby leaves Denver... before he comes to Ohio, for real. The thought was familiar enough by now, but it still thrilled him, and terrified him, all at once.
When the lights flickered, Will and Brad walked together into the theater, and took their seats; Will was pleased to see that most of the seats were full. "Toby said there were going to be some big name hotshots in the audience," Brad murmured in Will's ear. "I doubt it'll matter much to him, though, if he's serious about this job in Akron."
"Oh, he'd better be serious," Will said with a smile. "He put a down payment on a house last week."
Brad's eyes flew open, but he couldn't get another word in before the orchestra began. Will chuckled at Brad's discomfiture, and he settled back to enjoy Toby in the familiar role, performing Will's favorite musical. It doesn't get much better than this, he thought with satisfaction.
Because Toby was fantastic. He'd grown as a performer in a million tiny ways since that long-ago show in Louisville, his stage presence more solid, his humor both broader and more focused. He was getting every laugh from the audience, outshining his co-star without even trying. Toby's dancing had always been flawless, but tonight he positively sparkled, every pirouette and jete a stunning display of talent.
And Toby's voice... it had been a while since Will had heard Toby perform on stage, though they sang to each other on a regular basis, over the phone and in the privacy of Toby's house, and just last week at Brad's. Will thought, with surprise and shock, that Toby must have been taking classes in his precious free time, because he filled the wide auditorium with a rich, full sound that Will had never heard from him before. Will's critical ear couldn't find one flaw in Toby's performance. It wasn't that Will was biased - though, of course, he was - it was that Toby was just that good.
"I think he knows where we're sitting," Brad whispered. "He keeps looking over here."
Will couldn't see how that was possible under the glare of the stage lights, but it did seem to be true. Toby wasn't distracted from his performance, but it was as though he was directing all his most meaningful lines right at Will. And when it came time for Toby to sing Will's favorite song, Will just had to gulp and hang on, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his jacket, because Toby's voice got under his skin and made his breathing go funny.
www. youtube watch?v=x5-w4yoGqG0&
Life was a song
You came along
I've laid awake
The whole night through
If I but dared
To think you cared
This is what I'd say to you
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Nature patterned you
And when she was done
You were all the sweet things
Rolled up in one
Brad put a comforting hand on his shoulder and offered Will a tissue, and Will took it gratefully. "You're a big sap, Will," Brad said, and Will kicked his ankle, but it was only a halfhearted effort. His attention was riveted on Toby, singing his heart out, because Will knew every word was for him.
You're like a plaintive melody
That never lets me free
But I'm content
The angels must have sent you
And they meant you just for me
The performance went off without a hitch, and the audience brought down the house with their applause, including three curtain calls. This time the standing ovation was completely deserved. Brad and Toby clapped until their hands hurt, and Will sent a piercing wolf whistle to Toby as he bowed for the second time. He knew the sound got through, because Toby threw him a kiss.
"I'm going to get the flowers from the fridge in the green room," Will said. "I'll find you guys backstage."
Will wound his way through the excited audience, listening to their comments about how excellent the man playing the role of Don had been. He heard one woman declare he was "the heir to Gene Kelly," and he laughed to himself, thinking of his dad. He'd give him a call later that night and tell him about the show. His dad was always happy to hear about Toby.
Ducking into the green room, he waved at several familiar faces, regulars in the Denver theater scene. Behind the door of the refrigerator, digging out the dozen red roses in their bouquet from amidst the pile of Chinese food containers, he heard a bitter laugh, and a voice he knew said, "He's here tonight, isn't he."
Colin. They'd never been friends; it was against Toby's wishes that Will intersect in any way with Toby's other lovers, no matter how much a part of his life they became. Colin had been around for over five years. Will knew more about him than Toby would have appreciated him knowing. He didn't carry any animosity toward Colin, no matter how much he envied Colin's every day presence in Toby's life. He wondered if Colin knew Toby was moving to Ohio. Then, with a rush of fear, he wondered if Toby was going to continue to visit Denver, to keep seeing his other lovers. They hadn't talked about it, and Will wasn't sure he had a right to ask.
Will stayed behind the open fridge door, hoping Colin would go away. "You sure they're seeing each other right now?" asked another voice. "It's been such an on-again, off-again thing for so many years, you know."
"Oh, I'm sure," Colin said, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "Apparently a pipe dream in Ohio rates higher than a real boy in Denver. At least this real boy."
They'd broken up, Will realized, and he was only a little ashamed of the flood of relief that flowed through him. Is he - could it be he's all mine?
"Toby's dead gone over him, Colin," said the other voice. "You're never going to get him away from that man."
"If he weren't so fucking destructive toward Toby, I wouldn't mind him so much. But, god, it does wear thin after a while - that kind of devotion toward such a spineless, closeted prick as Will Schuester."
Will felt his blood turn to ice, and he straightened up before he could think, closing the door to the fridge. He clutched the bouquet of red roses before him like a weapon. "Excuse me," he said politely, his face belying his words. "May I get through? I have to deliver these roses to my boyfriend."
He heard Colin's surprised chuckle, and the other man's gasp, as he pushed past to the door to backstage. "Well, well," Colin said. "Never thought I'd hear that from your lips, Will."
Will spun to regard Colin with disdain. "I bet my lips will do a lot of things yours will never do again."
"Nice," Colin said, acidly. "It's wonderful to know you've grown a spine, even if you're still a prick. As for the closet, I guess that remains to be seen. How are you planning to handle that in your hometown, Will?"
"Toby and I will figure it out," he said. "It's not any of your business anymore. He chose me." Will felt himself smile, and it wasn't a kind smile. "He chose me."
"Yeah." Colin shook his head. "You must be one sweet fuck, Will. I just don't see what else he can get from you that he can't get from me."
"Darlin'," said a familiar drawl, "if you don't know that, you don't know Will very well. Or me."
Will felt Toby's arm slip around his waist, the closest feeling to home he'd ever had, and Toby's soft lips pressed a kiss to his cheek. He blinked back the tears that threatened and stared defiantly back at Colin until the other man looked away, scowling.
And then he was in Toby's strong arms, his hands gripping Toby's back, squeezing his eyes shut, the feelings welling up and spilling over. Every fear, every anxiety he'd ever had about what this relationship meant about him, at least in that moment, was obliterated by the pulsing sensation of this is where I belong.
"You brought me flowers," Toby said, and when his astonished voice broke on the last word, Will began to cry.
Toby steered him to a corner of the green room, away from the performers and crew passing through, and petted him anxiously, watching his red and streaming eyes for a sign of what was wrong. Will was incapable of a response for several minutes, but eventually the flood subsided and he blew his nose messily into the proffered tissues.
"Are you okay, darlin'?" Toby said, running a hand through Will's unruly curls. Will shook his head and gulped air, trying to collect his thoughts.
"You're really going to give all this up - your community, your house, your job - to move to Ohio?" Will said plaintively, staring into Toby's face with dark, liquid eyes. "For me?"
Toby smiled, the stage makeup diminishing his youthful beauty not one iota. "You're worth fightin' for."
Ignoring the pancake and Toby's mild protests, Will clutched Toby's face in his hands and kissed him thoroughly, until their breath came in unison gasps and at least one passing cast member had made a witty comment about "even dolphins need to come up for air occasionally."
At last Will leaned their foreheads together. "I'll try not to let it go to my head," he said shakily. "But nobody's ever loved me the way you love me, Toby."
The tenderness in Toby's sweet voice was the most welcome sound in the world. "Nobody ever will, darlin'."
Later, beside the fireplace in Toby's family room, surrounded by half-full boxes and the detritus of packing, that conversation with Colin came back. Will told Toby about the exchange, and Toby looked sadly impressed.
"But, Toby," he sighed, swirling the dregs of his wine, "what can I give you that you can't get from Colin, or any other man, for that matter? I mean... how good am I for you, really?"
"Will." Toby blinked sloe eyes. "It's completely a moot point. It don't matter how good we are for each other, when the truth is we can't bear to be apart. You and I, we're meant to be together, darlin'. We've got to start from that point, and go forward from there."
"I still don't know how I'm going to manage with you so close to Lima." Will gazed into the fire through the wine-streaked bowl of his glass as the coals burned down. "I might... freak out."
Toby chuckled, light and sexy. Will let himself get lost in the sound, and his smile came automatically to his lips. "I'm anticipatin' that, Will. I'll be okay. I've been dealin' with your freakouts for over fifteen years. You ain't thrown nothin' at me yet that I couldn't handle."
Will bit his lip and considered. "How about this?" He dug in his pocket and pulled out a small, square box, and set it on the coffee table in front of Toby. His eyes tracked Toby as he went still and silent, his smile disappearing. Toby touched the box with one finger.
"Ohh," he breathed, shaking his head. His lip trembled. "Will, what are you doin'?"
"I think if you have to ask, I'm doing it wrong," Will said. He heard Toby's breath catch as Will dropped to one knee in front of the couch. He took the box lightly in his fingers and held it out to Toby's stunned, shaking hands.
"Tobias Grey," Will began, and Toby put one finger over his lips.
"Just - wait," he whispered. "Wait until we're actually livin' in the same state. Wait until you come out to at least one friend."
"I already did that," Will said, smiling, brushing aside Toby's finger. "You're stalling."
"You're gonna ask," Toby said, with a note of panic. "And... I don't know what I'm going to say."
"Say yes," Will said, opening the box. The titanium band gleamed in the firelight, and as he took it out of its blue velvet enclosure and reached for Toby's left hand, Toby did not pull away. The silence in the room, punctuated by the hiss and snap of the fire, was heavy with possibility.
Will slipped the ring on Toby's fourth finger, and kissed his hand before pressing it to his cheek. "Marry me, Toby?" he murmured.
Toby closed his eyes, and took one long, final breath. "I've never been able to say no to you, Will." He smiled his crooked smile. "No reason to start now."
Any further words were lost in the pressure of Toby's lips on his. It wasn't until much later that Toby said the word, and repeated it over and over: Yes... yes... yes.