15

Body and Soul: The Endgame Fix

Summary: Nat and Bruce talk, and he takes her on a tour of some of the facilities before breakfast.

Notes: In the story, it's early Tuesday morning October 31, 2023, as Natasha wakes up.

Part 18: What You Wish

When she stirred just a little past 4:00 am, Natasha was still in Bruce's arms. Well, draped over them at least. She was higher on his chest, resting her head on a firm, furry pec. She listened to his heart and his deep breathing that gently rocked her for a bit then she slid quietly off his muscular torso and tiptoed into the bathroom. She'd had plenty of liquids, so it was no surprise they'd caught up to her. When she lay back down, Bruce had turned onto his side facing her and held the covers up so she could slip in beside him.

His warmth drew her in and his familiar smell comforted her. "Sorry, Bruce. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Hey, no problem. Are you okay, Nat? I know this whole thing has to be hard." He flexed his arms and stretched his neck before settling his head onto his pillow and left forearm. The grace and control of his movement reminded her of felines and dragons again, especially as he yawned.

"Yeah, just some really weird dreams." Nat traced a woven pattern on the sheet between them with her left index finger.

"That happens when you're coming off of meds; plus, you've had so much forced unconsciousness, that's probably exacerbating any sleep issues."

"What about you?"

She could see him smile in the ambient light. He had a nice smile. "With the Gamma, I don't need to sleep as much as I used to, but when I hit the R.E.M. phase, I can have pretty crazy dreams. I don't always remember them all, but I have had some conversations with my other selves that I'm pretty sure does happen on some level. Like tonight, Hulk really wanted s'mores while we all had a nice conversation around a fire. I mean, the place might not have been real, but the conversation certainly was."

Nat chuckled. "You and Banner and Hulk together. What did you talk about?"

"You," he admitted with a chuckle. "How happy we all felt that you're back. What I'm worried about. I asked for some help with technical issues and prognostication, too."

"Sounds cathartic. I'm going to guess you asked Banner about the 'technical issues' and not Hulk."

"Well, Hulk can get technical, especially about the applied mechanics of things. He knows his moves and punches," Bruce half teased. "It is pretty cathartic. Kind of like I have my own chorus or cheering section, I suppose." He frowned and looked a little more serious. "I should tell you I dreamed about you and Banner talking in a sunny field of wildflowers and then I was more in Banner's head and Hulk joined us for a bit. Does that sound familiar?"

She tried not to look too surprised, but there was a surrealness about it. She pinched her own thigh just to make certain she was awake. "Okay, sounds like one of the same dreams as mine. Were you there, too, and I just didn't see you?" Natasha asked.

"No, not like I was present in that moment, but I know you talked, and I can recall some of what was said. Banner doesn't necessarily share every detail. He's pretty protective in general, but between us personalities, he believes in transparency and keeping things as honest as possible. I know that sounds contradictory."

"Well, just a little, but that's human nature." She reached out and touched his nose like a reset button and he grinned.

"Anyway, I hope you're okay with that. Cross my heart, I don't mean to be a voyeur; the information is just there whether I want it or not," he explained. "I mean, I know the whole thing sounds weird."

"It's okay, Bruce. That doesn't bother me. I had a couple of dreams, and the one before what you saw was the one I found kind of odd, maybe a little disturbing."

"Do you want to talk about it? I'm awake now, and I'm still a pretty decent listener."

She swallowed. Banner had been right. He was there in "the new guy" if she looked for him, and she could hear him in Bruce's voice. "Okay, I seem to be stuck on possible scenarios for why the Skrull replaced me. I guess I want to find out why I was the weakest link."

He wrinkled his brow. "I would never characterize you as a weak link. There had to be more to it than just physical strength or they'd have come after me as Banner at the time." He'd been trying to puzzle this through himself. She might be comparatively small, but Natasha certainly was fierce and difficult to catch off her guard. Mentally, he had no doubt she was the toughest there was.

"Well, I was also mulling over whether or not I'd have been strong enough mentally and emotionally to do what the Skrull did and sacrifice myself if that's what it called for."

Bruce shook his head. "Nat, I don't think the Skrull was a role model for good mental health or emotional stability."

"You're right, but . . ."

"You don't need to compete with her . . . him . . . them. I doubt that's why they grabbed you. If it wasn't out of convenience, there had to be another reason, something more specific."

She nearly rolled her eyes, "I know, but dreams don't have to be logical."

"True," he admitted.

Nat pressed a finger to his lips. "Now, hush and listen. That's probably why I imagined a group of us assaulting this tower and finding the Red Skull there as the Guardian of the Soul Stone."

"What? As in Steve's old adversary? Johann Schmidt?" he asked around her finger. Banner had been pretty obsessive in his background research, especially when it connected to his own scientific interests when he was trying to find a cure for their "condition."

"The same, looking as flayed bloody raw and creepy as ever. He was like some sort of ghost."

"Clint said there was a spectral guardian on Vormir who floated in the air, but he didn't identify him as Schmidt," he mused.

Nat gave a small shrug. "He might not have recognized who it was. Clint doesn't always push past the need-to-know background information, and Schmidt was supposed to have died back when Steve went into the ice."

"Wow, that's a pretty wild idea. Imagine, if it was true, that means Steve had to have met him when he returned the Soul Stone to Vormir. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that little reunion." Natasha could see he was smiling with what had to be amusement. "So, you were climbing a tower and found Schmidt. What else happened in your dream, Nat?"

She hesitated, knowing some of the details might be upsetting to him. "Let's just say there seemed to be a better relationship between your two progenitors, but when push came to shove, Hulk was more successful at blocking me and Banner from making the sacrifice play and going over the cliff."

"Really? I guess that wouldn't surprise me." Bruce hesitated a moment as it dawned on him. "So, they didn't integrate and make me?"

"Not that I could tell, but they cooperated better than I'd seen them work together in reality."

"Hmph, interesting." He'd wondered what that might feel like. Bruce knew that Hulk and Banner hadn't been able to figure out a seamless way to communicate. He existed primarily because they'd needed a conduit to bridge their mental and physical states. Although it came from her dream, the idea that he might not have been necessary was as intriguing as it was troubling to him. Nevertheless, he put that existential question away for later consideration. "You said Hulk won you the Stone?"

Natasha shivered, thinking of the green unmoving body at the foot of the cliff and picturing her own there as well. "Yah. It was a little surreal. He said, 'I love you more' when he stopped me from . . . jumping, but I'm not sure if he meant that for Bruce or for me. Bruce was the one holding the Soul Stone when we came to."

"Whoa. That's a hard call, even for a hypothetical. I don't know the answer, Nat, but he might have meant you both," Bruce suggested. He suspected that was the truth, but Hulk could play his cards just as close as Banner when he wanted.

Natasha chewed at her lower lip for a few moments. "Would you believe I wasn't surprised at all that he did it. I even predicted his moves. I just couldn't stop him and neither could Bruce. It was so fast and then the dream shifted to the one in the field you saw us in."

"I could imagine Hulk doing that for both of you. I know how much he loves you, 'Tasha." He could feel the Big Guy stirring deep inside, taking in what they were saying. Bruce was sure Hulk agreed.

"I know he does. It was just a dream, but it was so clear and so raw." She could almost hear Bruce's distraught lament. He's gone! That he'd wanted to be rid of Hulk for so long was a bitter piece of irony. Banner had been prepared to take the gambol that they'd both survive, but the Other Guy had willingly taken the hit for the team . . . for half the universe.

"I don't know if you agree, but I think dreams often serve more than one purpose, Nat," Bruce offered.

"I know. Part of it is just plain anxiety, but like I said, I think I'm trying to work things through and figure out where I fit now. I'm sure that's part of this."

Bruce could hear the lingering distress in Natasha's voice, so he moved a little closer to her. "I want to help you if I can. You know I'd do anything for you."

"Just listening is good for now, thanks. I doubt I'll find all the answers inside, but it's hard not to keep digging for them anyway. Please don't take this as a criticism, but I'm still trying to adjust to waking up to all the changes."

He thought about her dream in the meadow and what she'd wanted to know. He could remember that much. "That's very normal. Hey, it's okay to miss them. It's okay to mourn them if you need to do that. It's going to take time. I'm here, and so are they. I'm not going away. We do love you."

"I love all of you, too." She snuggled closer, looking into his dark eyes in the twilight of the room. His voice, his features, and even his smell: he was this mixture of the familiar and the strange. Yet, she was still drawn to him just like when she'd first read his file after Fury assigned her to observe him. She'd known there was something kind and decent about him the moment he'd protectively placed his hand in front of Prapti, her little protégé in Kolkata, and stopped the child from running into traffic. Natasha leaned up and kissed Bruce's lips, running her fingers across the stubble on his cheek. Her hand lingered there like Hulk's finger had for a moment on her face. Bruce responded tenderly to her by leaning into her touch, smiling, and encouraging her to explore further. She kissed him again, and he opened up to her as she pressed harder with her lips against his, flicking her tongue past his teeth to the warm cavity of his mouth and meeting his tongue.

As they broke off, Bruce rested his right hand on her hip to steady them and pressed his forehead to hers, touching noses and breathing together. "I remember this. Tell me what to do. I want to help you, Natasha."

"You are." She pressed the length of her body tighter against him. Up close in the soft shadows, she didn't notice the physical differences as much. In the dark, he was just bigger, more to keep exploring. "Lover," Natasha whispered breathily in his ear.

Bruce answered with a sigh that was almost a purr. "My beloved," he breathed back. She reached down his chest, enjoying the feel of her fingers sliding over his muscles and through the surprisingly soft hair. When she found it, she circled his right nipple with her thumb. He shivered with pleasure. "What are you doing, Natasha?"

"What's our plan, Bruce?"

"Well, it's not running away. I'm where and with whom I want to be. I want to stay right here with you, Nat." She rolled over so her back was snuggled against him, and Bruce wrapped his injured right arm over her and curled around her. He kissed the top of her head, inhaling her citrus and floral smell. "Have I mentioned how intoxicating you are?"

Natasha rubbed her backside into his torso and giggled softly. "You've always felt like home to me, Bruce. With you, I feel safe. You're warm and comfortable and you smell good, sort of like caramel and sea salt."

"Really? Maybe that's my plan, Nat. I'll just be your comfort animal and your bed warmer," he said with a grin. "Well, that, and I'll seduce you with coffee and pancakes in the morning."

That got a low chuckle from her "I think I'll let you."

"Good, then that's what I'll do." She slipped back into sleep, feeling like she'd found her place again.

~o~

The eyes staring back at her as she blinked and finally focused were gold and feline. "Gertrude, I presume," Natasha said in greeting. The large gray cat was curled up in Bruce's spot, enjoying some of the lingering body heat as she kneaded the mattress with her claws and purred roughly like a two-cylinder motor in need of some tuning.

"Sorry," Bruce said from the bathroom as he finished shaving his throat. He had on a blue plush robe that was tied at the waist and came to just above his knees. "Gertie doesn't decide to grace us with her presence all that often, so I didn't push her off."

"She's okay," Natasha said sitting up. She waited for the cat to come to her, which it soon did, and, after a few sniffs, Gertrude let the former spy stroke her head and back.

Bruce wiped his face with a towel and came back in the bedroom carrying some clothing. "Well, Gert seems to have cozied up to you pretty quickly. She took a couple of days to let me pet her when I first moved in, but she didn't act phased by my physical shift after that. Did you, girl?"

"She seemed pretty content with Strange last night." The cat butted her head into Natasha's idle hand, demanding more attention.

"He bribed her the first time they met with leftover tuna melt or something."

"An offering for the little queen," she noted as she scratched the feline's chin. "What's up first today, Doc?"

"Tour of the gym and warehouse facilities, but since you asked," he held out a small plastic specimen cup with a lid, "I already had a text from the lab an hour ago requesting a morning sample or two. Sorry."

Natasha rolled her eyes and took the small container, "All for the cause. Any news from the lab or Fury and Carol about the ship?"

"No news from Fury or Carol, but the update from the lab had mostly good news and a more detailed toxicology report."

"Mostly good?" Nat did not like the sound of that.

"There are some toxins—tranquilizers and hypnotics, we're hypothesizing—that are proving hard to identify, even with the help of Fury's friends. That's part of why the lab needs a second urine sample and another blood sample, too."

That jogged her memory a bit. "Were you going to have the hormone levels checked?"

"Yes, that's part of what the lab techs will do again for comparison."

"You said something was a little higher than normal. What was it again?"

Bruce hesitated a moment and looked at his lover. Honesty was always the best approach with her. "I don't want to worry you. The first sample had hCG—human chorionic gonadotropin—present at a very low level, under 5 milli-international units per milliliter, so I thought we ought to check that again and test for an elevated level of protein as well since sometimes that throws off the test."

"Okay, what would hCG indicate?" Bruce looked at her uncomfortably. "C'mon, Doc, spit it out. I don't want to have to google it."

"Probably, nothing," he said, but he avoided looking her in the eye. Natasha crossed her arms and narrowed her gaze, ready to wait him out. "It's not cancer or anything like that," Bruce said as he turned and started to pace.

"That's good, so go ahead. What aren't you saying?"

He turned back and faced her. "Don't laugh. Do you remember the last hours we spent together before I left for Virginia?"

Natasha smiled. "Yes, almost like it was last week. Why?" She'd woken him up early with a purpose that morning because it was the longest they would have been away from each other since they'd started sharing a bed after the return from the Battle of Wakanda. What if she'd gone with him? Was there some fractured version of reality in which she had? She couldn't stop the thought flitting through the back of her mind.

The grave expression on his face brought her back to the present. "The condom did break," he told her.

"So what? That wasn't the first time we broke one. I told you back then, wearing one was just added protection to make you feel better. You're not toxic, and neither of us is capable of having kids, Bruce." Was this forever going to be a heartache between them?

He knew he should say that hGC only occurred naturally if a woman was pregnant, but he didn't want to escalate the discussion into something unpleasant, especially if there wasn't a need to get into it. "Natasha, I'm not going to argue that we are, but I still need you to pee in the cup . . . please."

Natasha pressed her lips together to keep from growling at him; instead, she settled for shooing the cat off her lap, and then she walked stiffly into the bathroom. "I'm sure there's some explanation to do with what the Skrull was having me breathe to keep me in stasis."

That was exactly what he'd been telling himself since the first report from the lab tech had arrived. Bruce waited for her by the vanity. "That's possible. In fact, it's likely since . . . well . . ." He didn't finish his sentence.

She'd calmed down by the time she set the cup on the counter and washed her hands. Bruce slid a plain-label box with a medical-grade pregnancy test inside it across the stone surface to her. "If you don't mind, I'm afraid I'd destroy it just trying to open the packaging."

"Too delicate?" she asked with a snort, trying to lighten the mood, but feeling a little mean.

"And too nervous," he admitted, running a hand through his hair and rubbing at the back of his neck.

She looked the box over and opened it, spreading out the instructions and scanning through them. "If you don't mind telling me, Doc, what's a guy like you doing with a pregnancy test in his medicine cabinet?" Damn, he was already blushing again.

"It's not something I keep beside the spare razors. Marsha was kind enough to drop it off before she left for work at the Compound an hour ago. I didn't think you'd want to wait for more lab results if we could get this part answered for ourselves."

Natasha tore the wrapper off the stick-like plastic device. "Have you had any experience using one of these?"

"Betty and I used one once. I doubt they've changed. Two lines in the window are positive."

She paused and looked up at him. "You never mentioned that before." She felt a twinge of guilt prick at her conscience. Maybe she was being a little hard on him. She'd known he wanted children from the first tense words they'd exchanged in Kolkata. It was one of the things she'd instantly liked about him, even though he scared the shit out of her.

"It was a long time ago. We were in graduate school. She . . . we had a miscarriage at eight weeks."

"Oh, Bruce." Nat set the disposable test applicator down and hugged him around the torso. "I'm sorry."

He hugged her back gently. "It's okay. We processed it as well as we could. Did our best to move on." They stood there holding each other for a bit, letting things sink in, but not saying anything. They'd both wanted such normal things.

Natasha spoke first, "What does it mean if we get a positive reading here for hCG and it's got nothing to do with being pregnant?"

"Like you just said, my best guess is it's an aftereffect of whatever you were exposed to on that ship. If it's negative, that has to be the answer since there was only a trace the day before."

"Worst guess?"

"Worst case scenario? Umm, you were abducted by an alien. I can't think of much . . . worse?" He really didn't want to say it since it sounded so stupid.

"I'm pretty sure it wasn't that kind of 'alien abduction' if that's what you're not saying, Bruce. I would have remembered that type of attack. There would have been some evidence. So, just, no."

Bruce audibly sighed with relief. "Good. Let's not cross that bridge then." He hoped they wouldn't have to consider it a possibility at all. He had so many questions for Nick, Carol, and their "friends."

"Okay, might as well get this done then," she said as she stepped back. She opened the specimen container and proceeded to follow the instructions. Bruce timed it, but the two lines were clearly visible well before the two minutes were even half gone. "Well, what's next, Doc?" Natasha asked matter-of-factly, dead certain this had to be a false positive.

"That likely means the hCG level is higher today than yesterday or your protein level is high, so we take that blood sample and send it in with the urine sample before we go take a tour of the gym, clean up, and then introduce you to Vella when she arrives. Eat some pancakes and bacon or something. Drink some coffee. Get harassed into wearing Halloween costumes. Who knows, there might be a few results before lunch," he said with a shrug, wishing there was more to do than distract her and try to keep her from worrying.

The redhead rolled her eyes, but she reached around his torso as far as she could and hugged him again. "Any chance we have some coffee before the tour?"

"Definitely. I'm feeling like I could use some, too." He gathered up his workout clothes from the vanity counter. "Did Wanda happen to buy you a bathing suit?"

"There's a tankini of some sort. I'm pretty sure it's to swim in and not just workout gear."

He cocked an eyebrow, "Wanna try out the pool? It's freshwater—no chlorine."

"Heated?"

"Of course."

"Sounds good!"

The sun was just beginning to color the sky, the air was crisp, and the ground was covered with frost as they made their way, thermal coffee mugs in hand, to the two large buildings that backed up to the Hendrix River. Bruce wore a pair of dark rubbery clogs—the first footwear she'd seen him put on. They'd left Sirius in the house enjoying a little more shuteye, but Gertie had followed them to the warehouse after Bruce had sent off a small drone with her samples and one of his own to the lab at the Avengers Compound. Before Bruce led them down to the building's basement, the cat darted off down a corridor that led to the lab floors.

"She'll be fine," Bruce assured Natasha. "There's a door she knows how to trip if she wants out."

"Sounds like a security breach waiting to happen," she noted. Natasha hadn't been thrilled about the use of the drone either, but she'd held her tongue.

"She has a chip and it only works for an exit," he added blandly.

Natasha snorted as if to say she'd be the judge of that. They descended the equivalent of two full stories before they came to the bottom of the stairwell. She noted it was pleasantly warm as they opened the door and the lights came on to reveal a cavernous space with a larger than Olympic-sized pool, which must have stretched beneath both the warehouse and the garage.

"Wow, does it have a wave machine?" she joked, her voice echoing. "It looks big enough to surf."

"Now, that's an idea. Maybe a boogie board? Let me think on it." He could rib her as good as she could him. "The water is five feet deep at this end just past the riser and steps, and then it drops off to nine and twelve feet," Bruce explained as they walked the textured deck around the edge. He set the canvas bag with their clothing and toiletries on a large wooden bench, and they took off their coats. He then turned on the lights to a separate room behind a glass wall with a partially raised tank that was marked as 20 feet deep. It was empty of water, but its purpose seemed obvious to her. "This is the lab where I guess you could say I was born," Bruce told her with a sheepish smile.

Natasha pushed open the door and approached the clear wall of the tank that rose up ten feet above the floor's level. It was "puny" compared to the lagoon-sized pool behind them, but plenty big enough for Hulk at his largest to paddle around in a bit. She looked up and saw an organized collection of hoses, air masks, rigging, and other equipment mounted on racks that no doubt descended or retracted as needed from the wall and ceiling. At the bottom of the empty tank and beneath their feet was a porous metal grate with cross-hatching that she guessed was a way to evacuate water quickly away. "So, you free-floated here hooked up to a rig and respirator?"

"Yes, but there were a few nodes, needles, sensors, and a gamma generator involved, too, so we could monitor and collect data as I went through the stabilization process. We returned the generator and most of the shielding back to the dry labs upstairs." He stepped behind a darkened, minimalist console, which reminded her of his lab space back in the Tower, and ran his left hand comfortably across the touch screens and activated them.

"Am I going to get delivery room footage?" Nat teased.

"Do you really want to see that? I'm sure you've seen me transform more than anyone else alive. The last time wasn't that different." He didn't add that the footage included Tony, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to see that. The wound was just too raw. He'd been invited to see Tony's message before the funeral but begged out because he knew he would have lost it.

She hesitated a moment. "You don't have to go through the whole thing, just enough to give me an idea how you did it and what happened. You know, um, and maybe tell me how you decided to do what you did."

"Okay, somewhere between the elevator-talk version and the TED Talk presentation?"

She nodded, "Anywhere in between would be perfect."

Bruce chuckled as he scrolled through the time-stamped video files projected above the console with his healing index finger. He could have just asked Friday, but he felt he needed to face Tony's loss. "So, this is from a little over three and a half years ago. In a nutshell, we'd figured out how to slow the transformation down and control it somewhat while I was in the water." He flicked his wrist, and a hologram of his past self appeared in the empty tank, suspended underwater and facing downward at a 45-degree angle with a full breathing mask over his face and several white straps holding sensor nodes in place on his torso and limbs.

Natasha cocked her head to the side, studying the hologram. Her first thought was he looked terribly thin like he'd lost twenty pounds since he'd left her that last morning they were together. It took some control not to show her surprise. "I'm not sure why I was picturing you floating on your back, but this seems more sensible."

"We tried that, but facing the floor made the monitoring easier and I found it more comfortable." Natasha smiled at him over her metal coffee mug as she took a long sip. Bruce reached up and pulled an oxygen mask down for her to see. She thought it looked almost comically under-sized in his hand. "Sorry, I forgot I looked like that much of a wreck."

Nat gave him a concerned look, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she stepped closer to the thick transparent wall of the tank and gazed at the hologram of his former self hovering in the empty tank, appearing tranquil and almost delicate as he floated gently in water that wasn't there. It dawned on her she could count his ribs and Natasha was suddenly awash in guilt. She should have been there with him. Now, she wondered if there was some version of reality when she had been. Somehow, she felt that had happened like the memory was buried. "Where did you apply the gamma radiation this time? At Culver it was targeted at your hypothalamus, right?" She'd seen pictures of the lab with the chair-like setup for the generator, which was destroyed during the explosion and its aftermath.

"Before the accident, yes. We know how to better apply the treatment now, so we did something different this time. To put it in simple terms, we also applied it along my spine for even distribution to stabilize my form, so I wouldn't draw on dark matter to create mass, which is what I told you before made Hulk's body unstable and left him with chronic pain."

"You used the added radiation to top off your reserves?" she asked.

He gave her a nod, "Sure, you could think of it that way, and it also activated the modified genes we implanted." He paused a moment and fumbled for his glasses, which weren't there in his front pocket before remembering he'd left them in the bedroom. "I'd isolated, spliced, and recombined our gene sequences in the way which Hulk and I had agreed would work for us both. Once the cells had taken hold, we just needed to activate them with an application of gamma radiation and then transform one last time. We'd know the treatment worked if I could stabilize without being in pain and our memories integrated."

She wrinkled her brow. "I'm guessing the application took a pretty big needle?"

"Forty-eight total, but not all of them were that big, just the deep tissue ones." She was usually very skilled at masking her emotions, but he saw her posture stiffen ever so slightly. "I guess it's a good thing I don't mind needles all that much."

"Are we talking one at a time or all at once?"

"Well, two at a time since Tony was helping. He joked that sticking me with something sharp in a lab was how we became friends, so we might as well go out that way if it killed me." Bruce winced as soon as he'd said it. "Sorry."

"No, that sounds exactly like him." Tony had always had issues that sometimes came out as cringy humor.

"It does. We took over an hour, and he had to do the ones in my back where I couldn't reach, the deep ones, and along my spine."

"I guess you made a good pin cushion? Was that the day before applying the gamma radiation?"

"Three days because we had to make sure the new cells were being integrated. They implanted and replicated so quickly we were able to proceed two days ahead of the original schedule." He reached for his glasses again and patted his empty breast pocket. "I can show you that part if you want."

She swallowed another gulp of coffee, "Go ahead."

Bruce touched the screen and the hologram of the slim floating body was replaced by one of Banner at a more upright angle drifting gently in the tank with a different style air mask covering the front of his face. This time his eyes were open and alert. "Gordon was upstairs watching from the main lab, and Tony was with me here."

Bruce adjusted the volume and the engineer's disembodied voice could be heard counting down. "Gamma application in . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . engage . . ."

Hugging her middle with her left arm, Natasha stepped to the side, so she could better see a strip of fiberoptic-like tubing positioned along the length the hologram's spinal column began to glow and Banner shuddered then jerked. "Talk to me, Bruce," Tony's voice insisted.

"Aaah! It's like fire ants crawling through me. Hurry! Finish it!"

"Fast as I can, Buddy . . . and . . . done," Tony reported after a few more seconds checking radiation levels, and he shut down the gamma generator. The application tubing ceased to glow, pulled away, and retracted upward out of view. "That's nowhere near the level you absorbed during your accident, but it should complete the activation step."

"Yes. It should be enough," Banner replied, sounding rough as he balled his hands into fists, visibly shaking all the while. Even through the haziness of the hologram and the water, Natasha could see there was something painful happening as his skin became mottled with dark bruising.

Another male voice, presumably Gordon's, spoke, "Steady, Dr. Banner. Levels are good. We'll know in a minute."

Next to Natasha, Tony's ghostly image stepped into view at the side of the tank, studying his friend. "Are you sure you don't want to rest up first? I can see the damn stuff is blistering your skin. We should have done this upstairs where we could control the application more precisely."

"No. We needed the buffer of the water and the pressure for better cellular integration," Banner insisted. "It'll heal once I transform, Tony. You know I'd rather be isolated here if you and Gordon have to deal with a large angry version of me."

"Right. Just don't drown first. I will not forgive you if you do," Tony quipped nervously.

"I'm not kidding, Tony. If something goes wrong or I don't know you, tell Gordon to throw the kill switch and get the hell out."

"Got it," his friend said reluctantly.

"Promise me," the physicist demanded.

"I promise. Pinky swear and all that. Ready?"

Banner nodded, "It's time, guys." The Beatles song "Come Together" played over the speaker system and the physicist chuckled and then winced with the pain the movement had caused. "Always got a song for every occasion," Banner acknowledged before he stretched out his arms and tilted back his head, arching his spine, trying to unclench it a bit. He'd been preparing for this moment for months, years . . . all their life. "Now, Hulk." The Banner part of him internally stepped aside and let his co-main takeover. No going back. This would be their last transformation, but that didn't make it any easier. He gasped as his body spasmed: then the straps on the rig gave way, and the mask tore loose from his face as he jerked violently, involuntarily kicking deeper into the water.

"Shit! Friday, emergency flush! Empty the tank!" Tony exclaimed and rushed to the ladder on the far side of the tank's wall, quickly vaulting up the rungs and over the side of the tank as the water began to recede rapidly through the crosshatch grating in the floor.

Banner hugged his torso and curled into a fetal position as the water swept past him, pulling him down to the bottom. Green shot through his arteries, radiating outward to his limbs, and replacing the mottled purple and normal pinkish flesh tones. The blistered patches simultaneously healed. The convulsions wracked his limbs as his trunk and shoulders expanded grotesquely then stabilized. He grasped the sides of his head, writhing as his extremities caught up with his core. The last of the water disappeared beneath the tank's flooring and the now large, verdant body lay still and dripping, curled up on its side, facing away from the glass. A cloud of water vapor wafted upward, but there were no signs of movement.

"Bruce?" Tony asked as he slowly approached the prone green form. "Don't you dare have drowned," he murmured under his breath. "Nat will eventually kill me once she comes to her senses. Pepper won't be happy either, Gordan will have an aneurism, and Thor will have my head to add to his collection."

The being coughed up water and then took a ragged breath, steam still rising off his broad, muscular back. Tony cautiously laid a hand on his wet moss-green shoulder. "Please be Bruce," he pleaded aloud in a whisper.

The being rolled over on his back and looked up at Tony. His eyes glowed green, but the unnatural color quickly faded to a hazel-brown that deepened. He blinked, trying to focus, and then curiously studied the engineer bending over him.

"Bruce?" Tony asked again. The facial structure was mostly his friend's, but the body was almost Hulk's.

His partner closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "Yes, Bruce. I am Bruce," he responded in a more familiar voice than Tony seemed to be expecting.

"Oh, thank God! You even sound like you," the engineer said with relief and sank down to his haunches for a closer look. Bruce sat up and leaned forward. He looked at his hands for a few moments, which were closer to his normal shape and proportions instead of Hulk's huge mitts, then he touched his face, feeling his forehead, nose, and brows. "You look like you, too," Tony assured him. "Just kind of larger and, well, pistachio colored. No one will even notice."

Bruce laughed, a welcome sound to Tony's ears. "We're batting three for three then with the modifications." He pursed his lips, moved his jaw, and scrunched his brow, getting a feel for how his facial muscles worked now. Bruce turned his head from side to side to stretch his neck, and then he rolled forward onto his feet more quickly than he'd intended but immediately corrected and balanced himself on his thick, muscular legs. Being this tall felt very different. Then it hit him—the pain was gone! He could think clearly. He looked at his hands again and the rest of his modified body, pausing to study his reflection in the glass wall of the tank. A smile spread across his face. This wasn't so bad! "Gordon, am I stable?"

"Dr. Banner, you are indeed corporally stable," his assistant confirmed. "Your body has safely absorbed and contained the radiation. Cellular-level integration achieved!"

Tony grinned. "Then let's check some other things out. Tell me, what's Ohm's Law?"

Bruce looked down at the engineer and chuffed out a breath in amusement from his enlarged lungs. Of course, Tony would ask him something in his own field. "Ohm's Law states that current passing through a conductor between two points is directly proportional to the potential difference across the two points provided the physical state and temperature of the conductor doesn't change."

"Not bad. How about Kepler's Law?" Tony asked.

"Each planet revolves around the Sun in an elliptical orbit with the Sun as their one focus. The straight line joining the Sun and the planet sweeps out equal areas in equal intervals, so the squares of the orbital periods of planets are proportional to the cubes of their mean distance from the Sun."

Tony nodded. "One more, what law did we just break?"

"I broke part of the Law of Conservation of Energy. Well, to be accurate, I used to break it when I pulled on dark matter to create mass during transformations. What we just did was block that exchange when we applied the gamma radiation to stabilize Hulk's, umm . . . my body. Does that answer your question, Tony?" Bruce asked with a raised eyebrow.

His friend laughed and embraced him around the middle. "For now. You really did it, Bruce." The engineer stepped back and looked at his friend then shook his head. "I hope you both got what you wanted."

"I think we did." Bruce looked up, trying to find the words to describe the experience. "The body doesn't hurt. It feels right. It feels comfortable. And, just as important, you know how I was telling you about those few golden moments we'd get in the same headspace, when it was like finding the corner or an edge piece in a puzzle and memories would start to knit together and the gaps would begin to fill in, but then it was gone when we couldn't hold it together physically?"

Tony nodded, "Yah, you'd get a glimpse of wholeness."

Bruce smiled down at his friend as he steepled his hands then wove his fingers together. "It's not going away now. It's stable. I can remember everything, and it doesn't hurt inside or out. I can accept what I'm remembering. Some of it is really fucked up, but I can deal with it now. I'm not just numb. It's okay to feel something and process it."

Natasha thought Bruce looked a little sad in the moment as he said that. She could guess what memories he might have been sifting through and sliding into place. They'd talked with each other about memory loss and shared about early traumas. Both of them had their childhoods stolen. They'd each been groomed and exploited. They knew what it meant to be manipulated and weaponized without their full consent.

Tony's voice brought her back to the present. "Hey, I think you've slimmed down a bit from what we estimated. Friday, what do you think?"

"Dr. Banner weighs 852 pounds and stands 7 feet 5 inches tall," the Interface intoned.

"That's a little lighter than we were predicting," Bruce admitted with a Hulkish grin, "but I think I can live with it."

Tony gave his friend a casual backhand slap on his green six-pack abs. "Sounds like you're going to have to work for that bulk, buddy. We may need to change the measurements on that special-order wardrobe, or you'll have to get them taken up."

"As long as my butt's covered . . ." Bruce said with a shrug.

Tony's image turned as he climbed out of the tank. "Hey, remember when we first met and I told you that you needed to strut, Big Man?"

Bruce snorted and nodded his head. "Right after you poked me and called me a stoner. Yah, I do."

"You need to look good and dress well, so the public will accept you and trust you for the human you still are. Lesson one: Dress for success. Look like a professional—not a monster. If you want to be respected and treated like a scientist, play the part. The rest will follow." He paused as he straddled the top of the wall, "Dress like a hero if you still want to be one. Just because I'm not doing it, doesn't mean you can't. I know there's a part of you that really wants to do it."

Bruce bounded nimbly over the wall of the tank and landed a little clumsily, so the image wavered for a moment. "This from the guy with a closet full of themed t-shirts and a garage full of metal suits."

"Hey, I'm retired and Morgan doesn't care what she pukes on. I only need to be a hero in my own house." Bruce shrugged as he toweled off some of the water. "How's your vision?" Tony asked.

Bruce looked at the display without squinting, "I'm pretty sure it's 20/20 now."

"Here," Tony said as he pulled a dark-framed pair of glasses out of a case he'd had stowed in his jacket.

Bruce handled them gingerly. "But I don't need . . ."

"Just put them on, Dr. Banner." Bruce perched them on his nose and the frames flowed and morphed to fit his larger face as the nanotech adjusted. "See, what's the use of seven PhDs if your physique only says, 'Hulk smash'?"

The physicist sighed and looked down at his black, calf-high stretch pants, "Good point. I don't intend to spend the rest of my life shirtless and wearing stretchy capris."

"Pepper said to get sweaters and knits—they'll soften up those rugged good looks and bring that stubborn redheaded agent right back around."

"Tony."

"Gotta keep that love alive, buddy. Don't give up on her yet."

"It takes two and this," he gestured to his face and body, "this won't win her back, man. She says she doesn't care. You know I have to move on."

"I know, bro, but you've still got time."

Bruce shook his head. "Not holding my breath, buddy."

~o~

Natasha deactivated the display and the hologram melted away. She looked around and wasn't sure where Bruce had gone for a moment, but at some point, he'd stepped out of the lab. She found him stripped down to his thigh-length, slate-gray swim trunks and sitting on the edge of the pool with his legs in the water and his shoulders a bit hunched. Bruce's damaged arm and shoulder were exposed, and the lightning pattern of white scar tissue seemed to glow in the large room's pool and overhead lights.

"I'm sorry, Nat. It's just hard to watch Tony, this soon. I can't believe he's really gone."

She touched his good shoulder and tried to give him a reassuring squeeze. She missed Tony, too, but she knew Bruce didn't have many male friends he'd been that close to. Rhodey and Hap had known Tony longer, but Bruce was his intellectual equal and partner. "It's okay, Bruce." She quickly pulled off her shoes, socks, and sweats and sat down next to him on his right, adjusting the straps on her sporty black two-piece Wanda had picked out. "I can't believe it either, but I'm so glad he was able to work with you and be there to support you when I couldn't. Seeing that he was here for you makes me feel a little better."

"Hey, I know you would have been here, too. Quit beating yourself up over something you had no control over." Bruce gave advice better than he followed it himself. He gently ran a finger over the back of her hand resting on his thigh. "We're going to get through this. It's finally our turn for something good to happen." She almost slipped back into protective sarcasm, but held her tongue and listened. "We might want to think about what to do if something has happened," he said looking at her and glancing down to her stomach.

He was obviously talking about a possible pregnancy, but not wanting to name it first and breathe the concept into being. She got that. "I'm not sure I can wrap my head around that yet, Bruce. I still don't see how it could be possible, and I don't want to get my fears or my hopes up."

The word "hopes" sent a tiny zing of a reaction through him that he noted but pushed to the back of his mind. "Either way, I wasn't going to try and put a spin on it, but . . . if you were pregnant, I'm not sure it . . . a fetus would be . . . viable."

She really didn't want to get into this, but it was clearly on his mind. "Come on, Bruce. We don't know that. If it's somehow ours, I don't see why not."

"Nat, I'm damaged goods in that department."

"How do you know that? Are you just hypothesizing, or do you have proof one way or the other? I know radiation exposure should have wiped out your fertility, but it should have killed you, too, and clearly, that didn't happen." There she'd said it. Let him chew on that.

Bruce scratched the back of his head with his good hand. "I . . . well, I guess I don't know for absolute certain about Banner, but I did send in my own sample with yours, so at least we will know about me now."

Natasha was and yet wasn't surprised he'd gone ahead and sent in a "sample." The Bruce she knew from Kolkata onward had yearned for normalcy and wanted a family, but she had no doubt he'd assumed he was sterile and hadn't bothered to check before. Why would he need to? He'd said as much at the Barton farm. She steadied herself and tried not to sound too defensive. "Well, in my case, I do know, or I thought I did. I had a tubal ligation. If that's done right, it's done. Maybe even beyond surgically repairing."

"Nat, I'm not so sure about that. Remember, I wished you back with the stones 'safe and whole.' I'm starting to wonder if that might have changed things."

She put her face in her hands for a few moments. "Oh, hell. That's what Banner was trying to tell me when he said I might not want to be near him again."

Bruce looked at her quizzically, "In your dream?"

"Yes, is that something he didn't share with you?" She knew she was edging toward hurt snark again.

"He didn't have to. I already knew what we wished." Bruce looked up at the ceiling and puffed out a breath. "Beware what you wish for."

"No shit. I would have liked some input into the decision-making process, but I'm not going to condemn either of you for it." Banner had asked her not to blame "the new guy," and she didn't. She didn't blame the Banner she'd known either. "Safe and whole" could just as well have meant back to mental stability as well as physical or reproductive health. He'd certainly meant no harm, but his wish had turned out to be a real wildcard. Oh, yah, beware, all right!

"Thank you. I appreciate that," Bruce said quietly. "You know, with the timing, any child would be Banner's, so that avoids some problems and presents others. We won't know what's been passed along until there can be amniocentesis and genetic tests."

"Bruce, if I'm pregnant with his child, or yours for that matter, and the baby is healthy, I don't care about the genetics." She felt so raw and wanted to push back against something. He carefully patted her knee, and she squeezed his hand, glad for the strength of it, the weight on her bare skin.

"I understand and appreciate that," he said gently, "but there could be dangers like abruption if the fetus is, well . . . like me, my strength or size, which is a possibility with either of us for a father."

The possibility there was a child was still so remote, she was certain only a miracle could have made it happen. Natasha didn't necessarily believe in those, and she certainly didn't trust the stones to have done anything positive they weren't directly ordered to do. "I'm willing to take that risk, Bruce." She sounded sulky and stubborn even in her own ears, but she meant it. If it did happen, it was a gift, and she wasn't about to just throw it away.

Somehow, he knew she'd say that, but it wasn't worth arguing the point further, not yet. "I love you," he said instead.

"I love you, too," she replied fiercely. They sat there quietly for several minutes, letting each other's thoughts and opinions sink in a bit.

"How about we get wet?" he finally asked.

"I was beginning to wonder about that."

End Notes: As always, my gratitude to Autumn_Froste for the beta read. Hope everyone is staying safe and well.

The academic book chapter on Harry Potter fandom is edited and almost completely off my hands!

Yah, this flashback is what we should have had for Banner and Hulk's arc in the movies. We should have had Science Bros with Tony there supporting his friend and making sure Bruce is safe. It should have been there because that's what friends do. That's what a decent writer and director would have done.

Comments, questions, and commiseration are always welcome! Please give a like, a follow, a kudo, a review, a share, a tweet, and tell your friends to give it a read!

If you'd like to see the cover edits for each part, check out my Pinterest board or the Brutasha Nation or Hulk & Associates page on Facebook. This collage includes Tony and the wet lab and Gertie, too.

Next up: Part 19, Nat finally meets Vella and Halloween plans are discussed. What has she gotten herself into?