Twenty One: Carnivore
As if this night couldn't have swerved in yet another unexpected direction Anna found herself standing alone in a dimly lit alley for what felt like an eternity. She had already been a ball of nerves from having to be so close to Elsa for their ride into town, and now that was only exacerbated by the long stretches of silences punctuated with the occasional difficult to identify sounds.
In spite of the promise of protection Anna was painfully aware of how alone and exposed she was. She paced nervously as she awaited Elsa's return, wondering how she had gone from resolutely joining Elsa on this fact finding expedition to standing alone in the dark.
No. I know how I got here. she reminded herself, feeling a flush of embarrassment at the memory of how easily she had broken at the knowledge that she might have a chance with Elsa.
"This is so stupid." Anna mumbled to herself, a frustrated sigh coming out quick and sharp. "What am I even supposed to say to her?"
The sound of footsteps dropped a cold weight into Anna's stomach, fear flooding in as she realized that Elsa very easily could have been right there listening to her ramble. A quick glance back at where she had last seen Elsa confirmed that the sound hadn't been her, but it also raised another question: where the hell did the door go?
At the sharp sound of a throat clearing Anna whipped around, not even considering that whoever was nearby could be unfriendly as she blurted out "Hello?"
No response came, just the sound of a few more footsteps before a shadow was cast along the wall in front of her. The shape was familiar, but it should have been impossible given the as of yet unsolved disappearance of the door.
"Elsa?" Anna stepped forward, but the shadow moved away in equal distance. "What the hell, how did you get over here?"
Elsa jerked her head to the side, an indication to follow, and Anna did so without question. No matter how quickly she walked though she couldn't seem to catch up with Elsa though, she only ever managed to catch her shadow just as she rounded another corner of the winding back alleys.
"Don't fuck with me, Elsa!" Anna whined as she took yet another turn, "If you jump out and scare me I will retaliate."
As Anna rounded the last corner she could see Elsa's shadow, cast as if she were leaning around a corner and making a motion with her finger to call Anna forward. The sight set Anna's heart to racing, memories of that night in the bar flooding in in waves.
How did I not realize then? Anna wondered, If I had said something then would it have made a difference?
Anna scrambled obediently around the corner, expecting to see Elsa with that signature pleased smirk on her lips, but the sight that met her instead made Anna's heart sink. Elsa was standing alone, too far into the alley to have just been around the corner Anna thought, but there she was all the same. Elsa looked a little dazed, and she was staring forward at the featureless wall as if it had some sort of secret hidden among the bricks.
"Elsa." Anna approached quickly, placing a hand on Elsa's shoulder so that she would turn and face Anna. "What's with the games? Why lead me all over the place like that? You could have just sent me a-"
"What?" Elsa's voice sounded tight as she turned, looking down at Anna with clear confusion on her face. "What are you talking about? I just got through with..."
Anna waited expectantly but as she watched Elsa slowly glance back at the wall and shake her head Anna got the feeling that Elsa wouldn't be adding more to that sentence.
"I just followed your shadow all the way here." Anna sighed, "Are you telling me that somehow that wasn't you?"
"I am."
The definitive response startled Anna a little, but then it all pieced together in her mind. Facilier, be he doctor or no, had referred to himself as Shadow Man. Was it even possible that he could have some sort of power over shadows themselves?
"Did," Anna hesitated, dismayed by how lost Elsa looked. "did you get anything about the kids?"
The question seemed to give Elsa some clarity, for she responded quickly by reaching her hand out to Anna. In her hands was a small bit of paper, a map seemingly printed there and yet visually it looked unlike any ink Anna had seen before.
Anna leaned forward and inspected the map, trying to figure out how it would orient to the various entrances to the forest. "He just gave this to you?"
With a single glance Anna confirmed with certainty that something had to have happened in that room. Guilt was plain on Elsa's face, as easy to read as if someone had written the words 'I fucked up' in marker across her forehead. Anna held her tongue, knowing that pushing Elsa here might piss her off.
That's the last thing I want right now. I'll show her I can be patient.
"I gave him some of my hair." Elsa confessed, raising her hand to where Anna assumed she had cut it. "But that's less unnerving to me than what he said. 'Magic always has a price.' Weird, right?"
"Your...hair?" Anna asked the question, but even as the words were coming out it dawned on her that Elsa's hair definitely hadn't been down when they had parted. Anna would have noticed if it had been, and now that she had noticed she was finding it difficult not to stare.
"It doesn't matter anyway." Elsa waved a hand dismissively, "I got what we needed, so let's get to Kris and make a plan."
Elsa didn't wait for a response, she simply began walking. How she was navigating back to the motorcycle Anna didn't know, but Anna was thankful that at least one of them knew where they were headed. In no time at all they were out on the main streets again, walking side by side in a way that reminded Anna a little too much of an awkward first date.
"I, uh, thanks." Anna began babbling, "For handling that with him. I don't know why he didn't want to talk to me."
"Because you didn't have anything he wanted." Elsa must have realized how strange that sounded, because she quickly back pedaled. "Not that you aren't desirable, but somehow he knew about me. Knew I had something he needed."
Anna wanted to focus on Elsa's very serious sounding explanation of what happened with the mysterious maybe doctor, she really did, but the word 'desirable' had just come out of Elsa's mouth in a positive way and directed toward Anna. She struggled to maintain her regular breathing rate, but her heart had skipped a beat at Elsa's compliment.
"-just back in a different alley all at once." Elsa finished, shaking her head. "It's not my first run in with things like that, but it was...eerie."
"Y-yeah. Sounds like it." Anna agreed, knowing full well that she had only caught portions of what had been said.
I'll just pay close attention when she relays to Kris later.
"Anyway, I think we can find the kids if we can figure out where this map is supposed to start." It seemed like Elsa was thinking aloud, "You and Kris should be able to-"
Elsa's talk of a plan alleviated the little jolt of excitement that Anna had felt a moment ago, settling her enough back into business mode that she could chance a glance up at Elsa without instantly blushing. That glance though had to be followed up by a second one, because she had to have been imagining those furry ears on Elsa's head. The second glance only served to confirm their presence though, sending a wave of fear washing over her.
Anna glanced around, noting the faint outline of figures in the distance and knowing that Elsa had to be pulled out of sight in case it was a human. "Elsa-"
"-with a little puzzling I'm sure we can-"
More insistently Anna whispered, "Elsa."
"What?" Elsa stopped walking all together and looked down on Anna.
"Your ears." Anna hissed, "You're...you know."
"You're not making any sense, Anna." Elsa leaned down to get a better look at her. "Are you sure you're okay? You were looking flushed after the ride here and-"
"Elsa you can't be here." Anna growled as frustration with Elsa's lack of comprehension, "Come on, they're getting too close."
Elsa's eyes rolled back and she sighed, clearly irritated with Anna. "Everything is fine, Anna. Now come on, we need to get-"
Anna could hear the voices of the approaching people now, they were far too close for comfort considering what could happen if they saw Elsa like she was. With a surge of courage she didn't know she could summon Anna grabbed the hood of Elsa's jacket and tugged it up over her head. The solution would have been ideal, if not for Anna misjudging the strength necessary for the task.
The pair stumbled backward together as Anna tugged a little too hard, and when Anna's back struck the wall behind them Elsa's arms went to either side of Anna to steady herself. Now certainly wasn't the time, but the heat building inside of Anna was impossible to ignore.
Elsa began to back away just as quickly as they had tumbled together, "Anna, what the-"
Sorry, Elsa. Anna thought, her hands finding and gripping the lapels of Elsa's jacket tightly. With a sharp, frantic tug Anna pulled Elsa uncomfortably close, determined to keep her from being seen by the approaching citizens.
"Shh." Anna uttered, painfully aware of the mere sliver of space between her face and Elsa's
Anna expected anger or even a snarky comment at her actions, but she found herself pleasantly surprised at the sound of Elsa's breath hitching in her throat. Her mind should have been focused entirely on keeping Elsa out of sight, preventing anyone from accidentally getting hurt, but it couldn't have been farther away than it was.
I'm imagining it, she assured herself as the space between them seemed to shrink a little more, there's no way she would...would she?
The heat and tension between them, the intensity of Elsa's gaze on her, it had to have all been a product of Anna's overactive imagination. It was just a trick of her mind, she should keep her focus on the potential danger, and she likely would have if not for the way Elsa's features softened as she looked down at Anna.
Elsa pulled back just enough to move her hands, placing them on Anna's hips. For a moment her eyes searched Anna's for something, then the blue disappeared behind her eyelids and Anna's heart nearly exploded at the thought of what was coming.
It wasn't a kiss, not quite, but the way Elsa's lips brushed her own sent Anna into a spiral of emotions. Guilt, need, longing, and an overwhelming urge to tell Elsa exactly what she had been determined to say before they wound up here.
"Els..." Anna breathed, hoping to spur Elsa on.
Anna exhaled quickly, her eyes fluttering closed as the seconds crept by. She hoped, prayed even, but her prayers were met with a sharp sensation against her bottom lip, one painful enough to make her jerk her head away.
"Shit," Elsa stumbled away from Anna and straightened her jacket where Anna's hands had been holding tight. "shit, I'm sorry. I don't, I shouldn't have-"
"Listen to me, damn it!" The determination she had tried to put into her voice was marred by a gentle waver, the aftermath of having her intimate moment with Elsa snatched away. "Something's wrong, your ears."
Maybe it was the proximity that they had shared clouding Anna's judgment, maybe it was the glimpse of those cute, furry ears on Elsa's head, but the way Elsa's brows came together in confusion was far more adorable than it should have been. Elsa reached her hand up beneath her hood and the moment the realization dawned on her was clear. Her eyes went wide for a second, but then the concern for herself fell away.
"You're bleeding." Elsa sounded momentarily lost, but then her hand went to her mouth and guilt overcame her expression. "Fuck, I'm sorry. That was, I shouldn't have..."
The heat from moments ago sapped away when Anna saw Elsa's expression, heard her guilty, rambling apology. Did she not mean to...?
Anna had to stop herself from thinking so selfishly, to force herself to focus on the task at hand. There would be other times for confessions after all, and Elsa didn't deserve to be left believing she had been in the wrong.
"It'll heal." Anna said it as cheerily as she could in spite of the dull ache in her chest, "Let's get home and figure this out, okay?"
XXX
Shame burned in every drop of Elsa's blood as she sat on the couch in their living area, feeling very much like a teen caught in the act. Ever since Kris said something about her supposed feelings for Anna Elsa hadn't been able to really put the thought aside and now, entirely because of that idiotic opinion, Elsa had lost control of herself and very nearly kissed someone who was clearly just trying to keep her secrets.
The sound of Anna's voice saying 'Els' had been repeating itself over and over in her head like a skipping record. She couldn't believe her mind had somehow convinced her that it had been a plea for more rather than the clear signal that it was. A vibrant line marked between them, one that Elsa nearly bulldozed over without a second thought.
Elsa went to run her hands through her hair, but the action sent another pang of shame through her. She knew very well that she was sitting here looking like she did because of something she did tonight, but whether it was relinquishing some of her hair or simply from her heightened, conflicted emotions she couldn't be sure.
"Oh boy, you weren't kidding." Kris' voice sounded sleepy, as if he had already gone to bed before they arrived home.
Anna sounded exasperated, as if she had had to explain herself a few times before he would get up. "Why would I joke about something like this?"
Kris came around in front of Elsa and leaned down to get a closer look at the state of her, "Just the ears and the fangs then?"
Elsa glared as Kris' hand went under her chin to tilt her face up, she jerked her face away and instead opened her mouth slightly so he could see without touching her. "Yes."
"She gave this guy some of her hair, and-"
"She did what?" Kris interrupted Anna, "Els, really?"
Before their trip to the forest Elsa might have rolled her eyes at the idea that something so simple could have hurt her in any way, but having seen what Maleficent could do, and in part what Facilier was capable of, rendered her silent.
"I don't think she had much of a choice." Anna stepped between them, crossing her arms defensively. "If that was his price for information to find those kids then I would have done the same."
"But you're not a werewolf." Kris snapped.
The tension in the room grew incrementally with each little snipe Kris and Anna took at one another, each giving as good as they got while arguing back and forth over what should be done. It didn't take too long for Elsa to break, it was too much for her to listen to.
"Just shut up, would you?" Elsa shouted over them, staring down at her lap where her hands were clenched in tight fists. "It's done, it happened. Maybe rather than arguing over what I should have done our resources would be better used, I don't know, figuring out how to fix it?"
Kris gave a firm nod, "Anna, you keep an eye on her. I'm going for help."
His departure left Elsa still seated with Anna standing in front of her, arms still crossed and concern clearly visible on her face. Words should have been easy to find, she should have been able to crack a joke or say something to make Anna smile, but the sight of the blood still on Anna's lip gave her reason to pause.
"So-"
"Well,-"
Both had spoken simultaneously, and both froze at the same time waiting for the other to speak. Then, Anna smiled. It was a little sheepish, but to Elsa it seemed a sign that perhaps she wasn't as mad as Elsa originally anticipated her being. Anna went to bite her lip, something that Elsa had noticed she often did when she was thinking hard about what she wanted to say, but then hissed in pain and brought her hand to her mouth.
Elsa was on her feet without hesitation, one hand moving Anna's hand away from her mouth and the other positioned beneath Anna's chin so that Elsa could see the injury. Unlike when Kris had tried this with Elsa, Anna didn't pull away.
"It's not too bad, should heal pretty quickly." Elsa remarked, unable to stop herself before her thumb gently brushed beneath the injury. "I'm sorry, again. Really."
Elsa could feel her right ear twitch atop her head as she stood there, looking down on Anna. It was surely an odd sight, a beast like Elsa standing over- Elsa's mind stopped abruptly as she realized that she had been ready to compare the two of them to romantic interests in a fairy tale.
What a silly thing to think. Elsa internally laughed at herself, Why did I think she wanted me to kiss her in the first place?
"M-" Anna hesitated as she began to speak, but then something in her eyes changed. Confidence flooded into her voice as she continued. "Maybe you should kiss it better."
Desire to comply filled her in spite of the shame that threatened to tear her apart for even considering it. Elsa's hand dropped from Anna's chin and she leaned forward, but a nagging thought stopped her just short of contact.
No, Elsa told herself, she's not serious.
Forcing a smirk Elsa pulled back, feeling a strange aching in her chest as she realized what she had almost done for the second time that night. "You're getting pretty good at that. Better be careful, one day those jokes are going to backfire on you."
Elsa turned away from Anna, trying to will the burning heat that was creeping up the back of her neck away, but was stopped by a light tugging on her sleeve. When Elsa turned back around she was surprised to see Anna standing closer than she normally might.
"W-what?" Elsa was surprised to hear her own voice catch as she tried to ask the question.
Anna opened her mouth, as if she was readying to say something, but instead shifted her grip from Elsa's sleeve to her wrist. Anna tugged, far too weak to have normally moved Elsa, but Elsa stumbled forward anyway, nearly colliding with Anna in the process. It was an unexpected moment of weakness, one that confused and shook her.
There was a sharpness to Anna's gaze now that they were so close, now that she seemed to be in control. It was the look of a predator hot on the trail of its' prey, high from the hunt and ready to earn its' prize. For the second time since she had met Anna an uncertain thrill shot through Elsa.
Is that how I look at her? Is this what Kris was talking about?
Elsa instinctively cleared her throat and stepped back, repeating her question with a little more authority this time. "What?"
As if nothing was wrong at all Anna simply stated, "There's something we need to talk about."
"What could there be to talk about?" Elsa's eyes darted to the side, spying her open door in the distance. Escape was possible, she would just have to be sly about it. "The two of you already touched on my poor decision making skills so what else could there be to-"
"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about." Anna interrupted, closing the gap that Elsa was trying to create between them. "And maybe I'm off the mark. If that's the case then tell me but-"
"Huh?" Elsa breathed, taking a step back in response to Anna's approach, just barely keeping a step ahead. "What are you talking about?"
Anna was using every tool in her arsenal to get Elsa off her guard, and in spite of Elsa's best efforts Anna's ploy was working. As Elsa found herself trying to weasel out of Anna's range she regretted ever teasing Anna in the first place.
I created a monster.
"Just, I think we might, um." Then, all at once, Anna's confidence began to deflate. That predatory look swapped with one rife with uncertainty, the change happened so quickly that Elsa wondered if it had ever really been there at all. "I'm pretty sure I do, anyway, but maybe you, also."
Anna was speaking, but the words weren't making any sense. She had left some critical portion of her statement out, but Elsa wouldn't dare make a fool of herself by assuming Anna was saying what Elsa thought she was saying.
"I don't understand what you're trying to say."
A frustrated, strangled sound escaped Anna as she admitted "I thought this would be easier."
"What would be easier?"
"It's just, I like...Eilonwy?"
For a brief second Elsa didn't know what exactly she was feeling. It was as if her world had upended, tossed her from a great height and left her trapped in the moment of impact. Her chest felt tight, so much so that it began to burn. Anna's words were verbal confirmation that Elsa shouldn't have had hope, that she should have never even considered opening her heart up rocked her to the core. Just as quickly though, the sound of Eilonwy's voice snapped her up from the depths of her pain and set her right back onto that slippery slope of confusion.
"Oh Els, what have you gotten yourself into?" Eilonwy cooed, closing the distance between them and forcefully turning Elsa away from Anna to face her instead.
Even as Eilonwy poked and prodded her Elsa couldn't find it in her to object. Her eyes kept darting to Anna, trying to puzzle out what she had been about to say before Eilonwy had arrived with Kris in tow. More curious to her was the immediate reaction she had to thinking that Anna had admitted to having feelings for someone else. Had Kris really planted the idea of her feelings for Anna so deeply into her mind that even the idea of Anna rejecting her would really hurt as much as it had in that split second?
"Well, if you ask me I think this is an improvement." Eilonwy scratched at the large, fluffy ears atop Elsa's head, "You were cute before, but now you're adorable."
Elsa made to open her mouth, but before she could speak Anna was clearing her throat and stepping forward.
"I'm sure you didn't come all the way here just to tell her that she's cute." Anna's voice was taught, almost raw. "We've got that well under control anyway. Can you help her or not?"
Eilonwy glanced at Anna, then raised a brow at Elsa. "What's her problem?"
"Her problem" Anna huffed, addressing Eilonwy in spite of the question being directed at Elsa, "is that all you've done since you got here is touch her and look at her and call her cute. Aren't you going to actually do anything to fix this?"
"Am I missing something here?" Eilonwy was clearly irritated by the accusatory tone being directed at her, "As far as I know Elsa is more than able to speak for herself if she has a problem with anything I'm doing."
Both women looked to Elsa, who in that moment felt it would be best to hold her tongue. She wasn't entirely sure what was happening but if she recalled correctly Anna and Eil hadn't had any sort of ill will toward one another the first time they had met. Anna looked like she wanted to say something more, but Eilonwy was through with her evaluation anyway and, judging by the look on her face, through with Anna as well.
"You're going to feel like shit, but this should get you sorted out." Eilonwy practically shoved a vial of liquid into Elsa's hands, "Someone should check in on you tonight and make sure you're good. I bet you wouldn't have to beg Anna too much, though something tells me that she might like it if you did."
Elsa's brows raised high at the suggestion, unsure of where that had come from, but a glance over to the now flushed Anna said that it clearly made sense to her. Eilonwy didn't even wait for a goodbye, she merely threw up a hand in farewell as she excused herself.
"I'm going back to bed." Kris exited a little too quickly for Elsa's liking, ignoring Elsa's stammering as she tried to get him to wait. "Take your medicine and sleep."
The second his door shut the air around them became heavy and awkward. Anna's behavior had been strange, there hadn't been any reason to be so defensive after all. Eilonwy wasn't a threat of any sort, no villain in disguise, and Anna should have known that from the assistance she gave when Anna had encountered the Galer.
"Uh, so-"
"ElsaIlikeyou."
Once again the pair had spoken at the same moment. Elsa hadn't really caught the jumble of words that had tumbled from Anna's mouth over the sound of her own speech, at least she didn't think she had.
"You..." Elsa swallowed, toying with the vial as she struggled to maintain a calm composure. She could feel her ears atop her head twitching nervously though, broadcasting her unease for all to see. "What?"
"This is way more embarrassing than I thought it was going to be." Anna groaned, her hands covering her face for a second before she raised her head again. She took a steadying breath, then nodded confidently. "I like you, Elsa. A lot. Which sounds a lot more like a grade school confession than I wanted it to, but here we are. I hope...I hope that doesn't change things, but I needed you to know."
Elsa couldn't tell if she was breathing too fast or not breathing at all. She hadn't misheard, she hadn't misread what she thought might have been signs, and worst of all hearing the words straight from Anna's mouth confirmed Kris' suspicion.
Feelings flooded in too fast to process, uncertainty, joy, fear, doubt, but most prominent and easily identified of all was guilt. How could Elsa stand here and expect to feel happiness in the future with someone other than Merida? How could she possibly deserve love again when Merida could never have it?
"I, could we talk about this more privately?" Elsa's throat felt dry as she began to make a beeline for her room, only to have her hand clasped tightly as she was tugged into Anna's room instead.
"Why didn't you kiss me in the alley?" Anna sped through the question the moment she had closed the door behind them, "Do you not...want to?"
"Look at me." Elsa chuckled nervously, flashing her fangs as she did so. "Why would you want to?"
She hadn't meant to sound the way she had, so fragile and unsure, but it was too late to take it back now. Elsa couldn't very well pour all the doubts in her soul out to Anna, not standing in her room just after she had revealed her feelings. She couldn't tell Anna that she hadn't felt a pull like this in so long. How was she to vocalize that in spite of her best efforts Anna's gravity had been too strong to avoid? That she had been unwittingly pulled in and now...
"Els..."
There it was again, that soft spoken utterance of her own name across Anna's lips that drew out a need Elsa had been pushing down. This time though the response was perhaps what it had tried to be the first time. Elsa felt her heart begin to race as she took a careful step toward Anna, forcing her backward against the door.
Anna didn't seem worried or concerned at all in spite of Elsa's appearance. She had already been hurt by Elsa's fangs earlier in the day and yet here she was in practically the same position, chest rising and falling rapidly with her quickened breaths.
"Yes, Anna?" Elsa finally responded, voice breathy and barely above a whisper.
"Please." Anna let out a shaky breath, her face flushing as her eyes avoided Elsa's, "I have to know..."
A clever retort was on the tip of her tongue, but when her mouth opened to deliver the only sound that rose from her was a low, distorted growl. The tension between them bled quickly from the air as Elsa stumbled backward, her eyes wide with concern.
Trying to mutter a curse only brought out another growl, followed quickly by a short huff as she fumbled the vial between her changing hands. With surprising dexterity Anna fell to her knees and caught the vial just before it hit the ground, smiling triumphantly for half a second before realizing that time was of the essence.
"Here." Elsa could see Anna's hands shaking as she got to her feet and popped the lid from the vial, "Open."
It was a clumsy assist, but Elsa got as much of the liquid in her mouth as she could before swallowing it down. It was bitter, burning so much on the way down that Elsa clutched at her chest in pain. Yet that bitterness faded just as quickly as it had come, leaving behind a delicate, sweet taste on Elsa's tongue. She tried to thank Anna, but again was only able to produce rumbling sounds. It was frustrating, not being able to say what needed to be said. There likely wouldn't be another time to address Anna's feelings, or her own, and why would anyone bring something like that up after seeing what a monstrosity Elsa could be?