Chapter 20

Rei wished she could say that her father had left her alone. Unfortunately she was unable to. He still called her once every week to two weeks. Typically she let the calls go to voice mail. She didn't listen to the messages or return them. She wasn't sure what she would say if she did. She also needed the separation to move past what he had tried to do. Jadeite, and grandpa were aware of his calls, but let her handle it as she saw fit.

To her relief his friend never called again after his one visit to the shrine. After a little bit of research she found out he really would lose everything if his wife divorced him. She didn't feel bad for him, only for his wife at having him for a husband. Rei avoided anything to do with politics because of both her father and his friend. She had no desire to know anything that was happening with either of them.

Kenji still had the story, but never once asked if she wanted him to run it. Over the last few months he had taken a bit of a fatherly role in her life. He would call to check up, stop by to see her, and would even invite her and Jadeite to family dinners. It was nice to have that little extra slice of family. He also never asked if she heard from her father.

Rei was mentally comparing her relationship with Kenji to her relationship with her own father, and doing her usual sweeping. She had just looked up, to wipe her bangs from her face when she spied a figure standing at the top of the stairs, she wasn't sure she wanted to see. He approached her slowly.

"Hello Rei." Takashi Hino said quietly.

"Hello Takashi. What are you doing here?" Rei snapped.

"I…I know I'm not welcome here, but." Takashi started.

"It's a temple. Everyone is welcome here. The prayer room is across the courtyard." Rei said firmly.

"I…well I was kind of hoping I could talk to you."

"No!" a male voice snapped from behind Rei.

Rei turned to see an angry Jadeite coming toward them. When he reached Rei, he stopped, and put an arm around her waist.

"Absolutely not. Every time you talk to her, you hurt her." Jadeite said firmly.

"I….I know. You're right. I…I came to apologize." Takashi said quietly.

"And?" Jadeite growled.

"That's all. Please?" Takashi asked.

Jadeite looked to Rei. She looked at him, and considered her options. She could send him away, and always wonder or she could hear what he had to say and get some closure. Jadeite silently waited for her response. Finally she nodded at him.

"Fine, but I am staying with Rei. If you say or do one thing wrong, I WIIL kick you out." Jadeite stated.

Takashi only nodded then followed them to the kitchen. Jadeite made them tea as Rei took a seat across from Takashi. For the first time since he arrived Rei noticed he had a look of guilt on his face. Once Jadeite set out tea, he sat beside her, and took hold of her hand.

"Rei, I…." Takashi started than stopped.

Rei just waited. If he had something to say she was going to give him the chance.

"I messed up, badly." Takashi finally said.

"Yeah you did." Jadeite snapped.

Rei placed her hand over his, and shook her head at him. She was fine with him being here, but this was between her, and her father.

"Do you know what you put me thru? How you made me feel?" Rei asked.

"I….pretty bad I guess." Takashi stated.

"Worse than pretty bad. I already felt rejected by you from when you dropped me off here after mama died, and left me. I rarely see you for years. Only when you made the time for me which was once or twice a year. Then suddenly I'm getting dragged to events for you, and paraded around to make you look like the perfect father. Add to that you barely interacted with me during those events, and told me what I could or could not say to people then to ship me back here as soon as it was over." Rei said.

"I know. I messed…." Takashi started, but Rei stopped him with a raise of her hand.

"I'm not finished. Like all of that wasn't bad enough, YOUR FRIEND attempts to force himself on me, and when I tell you about it, you accuse me of lying. Of only saying such because I was angry that he rejected me. Ignoring the fact that I had been rejecting his advances for MONTHS. Many of those made right in front of you, and I was only FIFTEEN when he started making passes at me. I was only SIXTEEN when he tried to force himself on me. Your job was to protect me, but instead you turned it all around on me. If I hadn't been able to get away from him that night, he would have raped me. When I told you, you didn't care! Do you have ANY idea how that feels? Then you spend months, MONTHS telling me I have to give into your MARRIED FORTY YEAR OLD FRIEND, to further your political career. That it is my duty as your daughter to do my part to further your career. It was my duty as your daughter to be prostituted to your friend to further your career. What happened to YOUR duty to ME as my FATHER to protect me, to care for me, to keep safe? You didn't do any of that. You used me. You hurt me more than anyone ever has."

"I know. I'm so sorry Rei. Really I am."

"How could you do all of that to me? How could you put me thru that?"

"I was selfish, and foolish."

"That's putting it mildly."

"When I brought you here when you were a little girl, yes part of it was to keep you out of the public eye so you could live a normal life. I had already seen what the public did to other political families. I didn't want that for you, but also. Well I wasn't ready to be a parent. I never wanted children, but your mother, she did, so I gave her what she wanted, even though I didn't. She knew that from the start. The agreement was she would do all of the parenting, and also keep you out of the public eye. When she died I couldn't. I couldn't be a parent to you so I gave you to someone who could, and would. Was it selfish? Probably, but it was the right thing to do for you. You would have spent your life with me with nannies, and hired help. I knew you'd be better off here.

"Yes I kept you a secret, but I felt it was best for you. I didn't come around because I didn't want you to think I would ever bring you back home. I knew I never would. Yes I only had you coming to events because I had to for my career, but I didn't want you there. It wasn't fair to you, but I let it happen any way. You're right, I didn't want you talking to anyone or only saying certain things because I was embarrassed. Not of you, but of my own actions when it comes to you, and yes to protect my image. Yes I know it was wrong, and unfair of me, but. Well I'm a selfish person, but I think you know that already."

"I do, and it doesn't excuse any of this."

"I know it doesn't."

"And what about the rest of it?"

"I…I have no excuse for that. I…"

"All you thought of was your career."

"Yes. Unfortunately."

"Do you have any idea how that made me feel? How it still makes me feel?"

"I'm guessing pretty hurt."

"That's putting it mildly. I can't even begin to describe the pain I felt, and still feel. I was furious, and felt so betrayed. As well as rejected. I felt like I was dirt on the bottom of your shoe. And I have HATED you for it. What's worse is I hated myself too."

"Why?"

"Because despite what you said, how you reacted, and what you tried to do, I still loved you. I still had faith in you that you would do the right thing. Even though it was a small measure of faith, it was still faith in you. I still had hope that you would protect me, but you didn't. You went as far as to bring my abuser here to attempt to force me to accept abuse from a predator. To make things worse, I took that anger and hatred and took it out on someone that means the world to me. Someone who has been by myside since the day I met her. I made the sweetest, most caring, wonderful girl in the world pay for what you did to me, and put me thru."

"I…I'm sorry Rei."

"I have heard you, and I guess in a way I can believe you, but I'm sorry just doesn't amount to much at this point."

"I know."

"Why now?"

"I guess you could say I got a bit of a wake up call not long after I was here."

"How so?"

"My friend got picked up for misconduct with a minor, and is facing a large number of charges for such with other women, and minors. A few fathers of those minors are also facing charges in relation to him. He even fathered 2 children with the minors. It's all been in the news lately."

"I've been avoiding the news. So is this visit, and apology a way to try to keep me from going to file my own report, or the press?"

"No. If you go to the police or press I understand, and respect that. This visit really is to apologize to you for what I've done to you."

"It would have been better if the apology had come when you were here last or even within days of your visit."

"I know. I tried calling you, several times, but you never answered."

"I didn't want to have to continue having you try to push me into being abused. I needed to cut off contact, for me."

"I know that."

"So what do you expect to happen now?"

"I don't know what will happen between you and I. I understand if you never want to speak to me again. I'll also respect your wishes. As for me, I am retiring from politics. This situation has shown me just how badly I've allowed politics, and the desire to further my career to cloud my judgement. I need to get out before it gets worse."

"How much worse could it possibly get with what you did to me?"

"It got worse for him, didn't it?"

"True, but politics had nothing to do with him being the kind of person to do things like that. Who he is as a person was the cause of that. I'm willing to bet he has a history of abusing women that goes back long before he ever entered politics."

"Maybe so, but I was willing to follow his demands for my daughter to further my career. That's pretty low."

"True."

"I…I truly am sorry for all I have done. I'm just glad you had your grandfather, and now this man to take care of and love you as you deserve."

"Thank you. They are both wonderful."

"I want you to be happy Rei, and have the life you deserve. Even if I'm not in it. I expect nothing from you, but I'll always be here if you want to talk, ok?"

"Ok. I'm not sure what will happen in the future, but while I accept your apology, for right now, at least, I can't have you in my life. Too much has happened. Too much hurt has been caused. I need time, and space. I forgive you, but not for you. I forgive you for me because I can't move on if I don't."

"I understand, and can respect that. Just know that if you ever need anything. Even if it's just money, or to use my name it's yours. Ok?"

"Ok. Thank you."

"Good luck Rei. And I do love you, in my own way. Just not in the way you deserve."

"I know."

Takashi nodded then rose from his seat, and left. Rei flopped back in her chair, closed her eyes, and sighed. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She could feel Jadeite looking at her. When she leaned forward, and put her head in her hands, Jadeite began rubbing her back.

"You ok?" he asked quietly.

"No. I don't know." Rei responded.

"That's ok. You have all the time you need to be ok."

"I never expected all of that."

"I know you didn't. You don't have to process it right now either. Just know that I'm here for you."

"Thanks Jad."

"Always."

Rei leaned over, and rested her head against his chest as he wrapped an arm around her to hold her. They sat like that for quite some time. Her emotions were a mess, along with her mind. She didn't know what to think or feel, but she knew she had time to sort it all out. After awhile Rei got back to her chores, and Jadeite got back to his. By the time she went to bed that night she was still a jumble of confusion. She was thankful to have Jadeite there to hold her, and support her though.