Chapter XVI

„The Unheard Cries..."

I don't know how much time I've spent up on a tree, far away from the village. I cursed the wings, that hid my tears from the world now more than ever. I thought I heard the rumble of a thunderstorm in the distance a few times, but didn't care. Only when the first droplets whispered on the leaves, I rose my head to look at the sky.

One of them landed on my cheek right next to the tear track and rolled down parallel to it. I quickly wiped them both away and shakily stood up. I glanced to the east briefly, but then turned towards the west, deciding to go back to Kaan's mansion. Where else would I go...? The weather was worsening by the minute, so I ascended above the tree tops and hurried back where I came from.

I tried to stay low and dash above the restlessly swaying trees as fast as I could, but despite all efforts I was drenched to the skin after just half the distance I needed to go. The calm flight here didn't put much strain on me before, but now I felt my strength leaving me at a terrifyingly fast pace. The lightning brightened the darkness every now and then, sharpening shapes and summoning creepy shadows that were not what they looked like. The fact that the thunder made me think of a dragon's roar might have been funny, if it weren't for the seriousness of the situation...

Finally, to my relief, I spotted the outline of the residence in the distance. But it wasn't standing right in front of me, as I was expecting it to. I suddenly found myself on the far north end of the Apries Lake, with the mansion looming far to my left. The wind must have brought me off course quite a bit... I needed to remember that for the next time. If there ever would be one... I went into a curve and dashed just above the water's surface. The darkness seemed to be thickening, the noise of waves and lament of trees around the shores only deepened my anxiety. It was then that I learned, that problems had a strange custom - they seemed to like traveling in packs.

The rain suddenly changed into fine hail, starting to lash my wings and making me painfully aware of how much more sensitive than the rest of my body they were. I didn't quite manage to revive from the shock yet, when another happened. A close lightning strike brightened the area for a second and suddenly I saw something sky-blue flying towards me from above. Unfortunately fear was quicker than reason and my body reacted before my mind managed to tell it, that there was nothing to be afraid of. I performed a swift move that would have been brilliant for someone standing firmly on the ground, but was the stupidest thing possible for someone flying hastily right above the surface of water - I turned towards the "danger".

One of my wings dipped into the surface of the lake, which literally cut my glide short in the split of a second. My terrified scream got drowned out by the thunder and I found myself in the water before I could even start to analyze what was happening.

The remnants of my strength left me, I was enveloped by a deep darkness and my mind refused to obey me any further...

"Please tell me he will be alright..."

That voice reached me as if through a thick curtain. I felt like I was returning from the depths of a seemingly endless, dark night... I opted to let the sound pass by, not caring much about its meaning. It was easier that way... But the voice was familiar, soothing, and brought the feeling of safety for some reason...

"I think he will be, looks like the encounter with the water was just a little too sudden for his lungs..."

That voice was different, more delicate, and the little nervous but joking tone seemed to ease the tense atmosphere and made the first voice sigh in relief. With that sigh I felt like my head got lifted a little bit and then fell again softly, returning to the calm rhythm of inhale and exhale right next to my right cheek, that I wasn't aware of until just that moment. I also started to feel my own body again as well, and most of it hurt mercilessly. Then the second voice spoke again: "That was a beautiful catch... I have to admit though, I think my heart stopped there for a second..."

"I thought it would be harder too... but he's lighter than he looks."

That last voice finally hooked up to the name "Eugeo" somewhere in my mind. I also finally felt his arm circled around my shoulders and heard the murmur of rain surrounding us. I summoned some of my very slowly returning strength and opened my eyes. I tried to move, but immediately felt a delicate hand press softly against my chest.

"Don't get up, just rest..." I heard Asuna's gentle advice.

I blinked a few times to get rid of the fog before my eyes and I finally saw her. She was kneeling on the muddy ground close to me, watching me with concern in her beautiful features. I also noticed an azure fragment of Eugeo's wing, stretched above all three of us, shielding us from the rain. We were still at the lake's shore...

After a few moments everything that happened started to return to me. Although, when my mind went all the way back to my visit in the village, I just closed my eyes and buried my face into Eugeo's shirt a little. I would have rather remained unconscious...

"We should get inside and lay him down to check for fractures... can you help me?" I felt my arms being circled around two pairs of shoulders, that lifted me carefully from both sides and we headed to the mansion.

When I tried to remember what happened afterwards later, there was hardly anything remaining in my mind...

The next evening was free from rain, but the sky remained covered by gray clouds. After spending the whole day in bed I managed to go over to the window and observe it for a bit. The unfortunate landing in the lake left most of my body aching, but the careful inspection from Asuna revealed no major injuries. It didn't stop her from calling me around five different kinds of idiot in the process though.

I opened the window to let some fresh air in. The smell made me close my eyes for a moment involuntarily. There weren't many things as relaxing as the scent of moistened, young greenery near to water, even during not so great weather conditions.

I glanced down upon hearing a faint rustle by the shore. I spotted Eugeo, standing on the grassy surface between the east side of the main mansion and the forest. He had his wings out and my eyes tricked me at first, making me think there was something wrong with one of them. It took me a moment to realize, that he was holding the Blue Rose Sword at the exact level, where the color of his wing matched the blade. It was stunning how perfectly suited for this role he seemed to be...

He then lifted the sword to just a little below shoulder level and thrusted forward. He twisted his wrist slightly, rose the blade a tiny bit on a slant and went over to a downward slash from the upper right. I frowned a little. His movements were perfectly balanced and showed years of practice with the sword. But for some reason he was performing them painfully slowly, which seemed totally unnecessary with this level of skill.

It became clear to me what he was doing after another few careful but precise moves. He was testing how much of a hindrance his wings would be in battle. It was logical that he didn't want to cut one of them off during the first training session...

Despite all this calmness in his movement though, I noticed something fierce in his stare, that contradicted it. Something that made those green-bluish eyes freeze to two cold and hard jewels. I knew who he must have been imagining in front of him while he swinged his sword. I started wondering though, if Eugeo was actually capable of doing what he seemed to be training for. And even if his gentle soul was able to carry out such a macabre deed, would it handle the sin and the bitterness afterwards...?

It was then that he stopped for a moment and, as if sensing my stare, looked up to his left. He smiled and lowered his sword. "Are you feeling better?" he asked, raising his voice slightly so it would reach me.

"Yeah, I'll live," I said, propping my elbows on the windowsill. "How long have you been practicing swordplay? I thought I was good after my two years at the castle, but you're at a completely different level."

"Well... I think I was around seven when I started..."

I rose my eyebrows. "Are you from some knight lineage?"

"Not really..." he cast his eyes down, which was enough of a sign for me to stop pressing. Instead I climbed on top of the windowsill. "You shouldn't..." I heard him say right before I jumped. I landed next to him with a few beats of my wings and he sighed quietly, either with relief or exasperation. Or maybe both. "You really should be more careful..."

"I feel fine by now, don't worry," I smiled reassuringly. "Which reminds me... I wouldn't be if it weren't for you. Thank you... you saved my life Eugeo."

"It's not me you should be thanking. It was Asuna who started to worry about you because of the weather, and if she didn't come to tell me, that you flew to your village, I would have been sleeping soundly at the time."

"But..."

"Besides, there is no need to thank for something so obvious. We should take care of each other, if even one of us dies or gets seriously injured, we will stand no chance against Sharish. It was my duty."

I suddenly felt like all the hope, that steadily built up over the past days shattered in the split of a second, like a dropped crystal goblet. "So that's what I am to you..." I whispered with a bitter smile. "Just someone who can be useful in the battle with Sharish... and what else, a tool to use on your way there, so you can find the murderer of Sitriel through Sharish...?"

He looked me in the eyes shortly and sighed. "It's not like that... please understand... I told you, we can't be friends..."

I couldn't hold back my heartache and my rage anymore. "But we already are friends!"

I immediately covered my mouth with a hand upon seeing his expression. Eugeo paled and stared at me in what might have been terror, but he looked more like he had just been slapped in the face. The atmosphere suddenly became as fragile as glass.

"You think so...?" his whisper broke the silence after a few moments. There was something in it that gave me hope again, made me think that I somehow got through to him thanks to the shock. But then it vanished again like smoke of a burning out campfire in the wind. "I don't..."

It was like an icicle stabbed right into my already bleeding heart. A scream would have been better than the calm tone in which he gave me those words. I was afraid to believe it... It was the second time in two days, that someone I considered a friend simply shoved me away... I wasn't sure if I was more furious or more desperate at that moment...

"Right..." I said quietly, hanging my head and trying to keep my voice from breaking. "Sorry to have bothered you then..." I turned away, spread my wings and leaped up again, heading for the window of my room without waiting for an answer.

Once on the windowsill, I squeezed through it hastily, scraping the outer edge of my left wing in the process. I flopped onto the bed and pressed my right cheek to a pillow. It soaked up one of the tears, but the other passed over the base of my nose, leaving a chilly track.

Was there even a reason to still stay here...? The people I was going to fight for in this crazy new realm were turning their backs on me one after the other. At this rate there wouldn't even be a source for the fire within my soul. There was still Asuna... I didn't believe she could distance herself from me as well, but...

Before I could finish these thoughts, I heard a delicate knock on the door. I looked at it and remained silent for a moment. Then I wiped the tears away with my sleeve and spoke a word of admittance.

Eugeo entered the room soundlessly, like he usually did. There was nothing about him, that gave away any annoyance, sadness or any other form of concern. I sat up, trying my best to not give him any accusing looks. I was willing to give him a chance, even though it was hard when these eyes stared at me like surfaces of turquoise water, that reflected everything around it, but remained unmoving itself.

"I'm sorry Kirito..." he finally said. "The last thing I wanted was to get you too involved in my own pain... I'm really not suited to be a friend, you should look for someone else..."

"Look for someone else?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You think this is like searching for a servant in the slave market? We all are friends here, Asuna, Kaan, me... it's just you who doesn't understand, that we want to help you, that we want you to be a part of it..."

Something was incredibly wrong in all of this. How could he be so kind in one moment and say such cruel words the next? One Eugeo had to be false and I prayed that it was the one who repeatedly made me furious.

But Eugeo seemed to be in a vexatious mood today. "But I can't... the ability to do that was taken away from me together with Sitriel..."

"Well then I guess his murderer already beat you..." I muttered.

"Sorry?"

I've had enough. "What are you even fighting for then?! The most beautiful thing in life was taken away from you, so what are you even still going on for?! Are you trying to save Earlindon so you can suffer even longer?! Wouldn't it be easier to just let Sharish burn it to the ground and bury us underneath the ruins?!"

"Kirito..." he seemed a little shocked by this outburst. But I couldn't stop it anymore.

"So what if Asuna is trying her best, so what if I would gladly give all I have to help you... apparently you don't care at all or we are just failures..."

"Why...?" there was something akin to bitterness in Eugeo's voice. "Why do you care so much about me...?"

"Because it hurts me to see you like this you idiot! You don't deserve to suffer like this, a heart so kind and understanding is like a jewel in this world... it has the power to change people... it... it started to change me... and even now... even when you say things that hurt far worse than my wings did... I still think of you as a friend..."

My voice got caught in my throat and refused to go any further. I pulled one of my knees up to my chest and leaned my forehead against it, hiding my eyes underneath my messy bangs. There was a long silence that spread in the room, and after a few moments I started to think, that Eugeo left again, not wanting to continue this conversation. To my surprise, I suddenly felt the mattress sink a little and the rustle of fabric reached my ears. I opened my eyes, lifting my head slightly.

Eugeo wasn't sitting on the bed like I thought he would be. He sat on the floor next to it, his face buried in the forest-green sheets, his hands clenching the material slightly. A chill ran down my spine. I immediately slid down to the floor as well, sitting beside him. "Eugeo...? Are you alright? What..."

One of his hands squeezed the fabric tighter and I heard something... I instinctively knew what it was, but didn't want to believe at first. But when his shoulders shook a bit, and another stifled, desperate sob broke the silence it almost froze me in place.

What did I just do...? How did I manage to make someone as unshakeable as Eugeo cry like this...? I wanted to say something, help him, but how...?

Eventually, when the intensifying, heartbreaking whimpers caused my own tears to return despite my tries to hold them back, I just placed one hand on his back softly and leaned my forehead against his shoulder. "I'm sorry..." I whispered. "I'm sorry Eugeo... I'm so sorry..."

I just kept repeating those words, praying that I didn't cause some damage that couldn't be repaired anymore.

But at the same time there was another voice whispering a shy prayer from the bottom of my heart: "Please let this be a sign, that the ice has melted at last..."

„ For one so small

You seemed so Strong...

But life can surprise you in every little way...

And where you don't even imagine you can find Happiness..."

This part was actually two chapters in the original, but the first one would have been annoyingly short if I left it like that... but hey, I split one chapter into two before, and now I merged two chapters into one, so I'm back in the original numeration... at least I don't have to worry about changing the numbers every time anymore XD

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