Pony was at his parent's bedroom doorway. It was deja vu as he looked towards the bed, and saw his mom there, in her death sleep. She was still covered in pills, pale, motionless. Regardless of being in this scene already, it still felt fresh, and it was still just as terrifying. His heart had stopped and jumped to his throat. He heard the cries again. Looking over, he saw Steve. He was trying desperately to get to the bed again, but this time there were Socs. They held him down and were beating him. Steve was begging for help, screaming they were going to kill him.

"Stop it!" Pony cried out, "Leave him alone! He didn't do anything! Stop! Stop!"

With one harsh shove, one of the Socs tossed Steve to the ground. He didn't move. Out of his hand fell a blade, sliding over to the doorway, next to Ponyboy's shoe.

"No..." Pony shook his head as he stared at the blade, "No, just go away please."

"Kid..."

Pony looked up and saw Steve looking up at him with a beaten face.

Motioning towards the blade, Steve said, "If you want the nightmare to end, you know what to do."

Ponyboy shot up in bed, sitting straight up, in a cold sweat. He was shaking hard, grasping his hair and slightly tugging at it. With quivering lips, Pony looked over and saw Soda fast asleep, breathing steadily. The need to get away was desperate. Flipping the covers off, Pony felt his feet touch the soft carpet. He hadn't soothed the shakes as he slowly got down to his knees. Taking a deep breath, Pony held it for a few seconds. He let it out slow, and got back to his feet.

The nightmare was beating at his brain. It was too much stuff to think about. From his parents, to his blade, to Steve's mom, to Steve getting jumped. He couldn't handle it. He felt himself slowly sinking, and needed a quick way out. Looking down at his desk, Pony swiped his blade and hurried out of the bedroom.

'Wait,' Pony tried rationally telling himself, 'Go talk to Steve. He's right downstairs.'

Pony got to the stairs, and slowly took steps down. With each step was another slow breath. He was desperate to slow the pounding in his chest. Once he got to the bottom, he looked over at the sleeping body on the couch.

'You promised him.'

Pony walked closer to Steve, but a vision crossed his mind from the nightmare. It made his stomach jump, and he felt the need to vomit. Quickly, Pony got through the living room and into the bathroom, dry heaving towards the toilet. He felt the forces push towards his throat, but nothing came out. Turning over, he leaned against the wall. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't deal with this for the rest of his life. Steve was much tougher than him. Pony couldn't do it. He refused to.

Pony flipped open his blade.

"Just get out of my head," Pony said through gritted teeth. He pushed the blade against his arm, but jumped when a knock came upon the door. He stayed frozen in his spot.

"Ponyboy?"

In a flash, Pony closed his blade and shoved it under the bathroom rug. He jumped up, wiped his eyes, and opened the door just a crack.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Steve asked, "I thought I heard someone rush in here."

Thinking about the position he was just in, he shook his head, opened the door all the way and fell into Steve's chest. He wrapped his arms around tight, silently begging for comfort. Steve returned the embrace, placing a hand on Pony's messy hair.

"Talk to me," Steve said, "What happened?"

Pony didn't respond, just shook his head against Steve.

"Come on," Steve said, leading Pony back out to the couch. They took a seat together, Steve still holding onto the young greaser. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Pony slowly nodded, feeling the goosebumps rise upon his skin.

"What happened?"

Unable to hold it in any longer, Pony let the tears fall and went into a hard bawl. "I'm sorry, Steve."

"Sorry for what?" Steve asked.

"For waking you."

Steve lifted Pony off of him and looked straight into his eyes, "Stop that kid. That's not why you're saying that. Now damnit, tell me what's going on."

"What's going on?"

Steve and Pony looked towards the stairs and saw Soda making his way down. Noticing his younger brother's tear-stained face, he asked, "Ponyboy, what's wrong?"

"He had a nightmare," Steve answered, "I found him in the bathroom down here."

Soda took a seat on the couch, with Pony between him and Steve, "What happened in it buddy?"

Pony forced himself to calm down a little. "I can't remember," he responded. Steve and Soda looked at each other, unsure if they were to believe him.

"Are you sure?" Soda asked, "You seem awful shook up."

"I just...can't really remember what exactly happened," Pony lied, "I felt scared when I woke up, but I wasn't sure why. I got really shook up and came down here to talk to Steve, but panicked and went into the bathroom instead. I just don't know what I was dreaming about. I just want to go to bed."

As the brothers went upstairs, Steve sat on the couch, just thinking. He thought it was a little odd Pony was in the downstairs bathroom after a nightmare, even if he did say it was out of panic. It was as if he was coming down to get Steve for help, but went against that idea. Steve didn't know if he was suppose to worry about that thought.

Soda spent some time rubbing Pony's hair, feeling damped sweat, helping him fall back asleep. Pony's eyes stayed shut the entire time, but Soda knew he was just avoiding conversation. He waited until he knew Pony was truly asleep, and then carefully got out of bed. He closed the bedroom door behind him and went back downstairs.

"I figured you'd still be awake," Soda said, seeing Steve sitting up on the couch.

"Yeah," Steve said. Soda took a seat in the armchair. "Is he asleep?"

"Yeah, finally," Soda said. The two boys were silent for a moment. "You know, it's not odd for Ponyboy to forget his nightmares. He's pretty much always done that. I don't know, this time it's hard to believe him I guess."

"He's been remembering them lately," Steve add in, "Do you want to try talking to him tomorrow?"

"I don't know. I know he should, I know it's good to talk about these things. But I've also been thinking how much he's dealt with lately. I kind of want to give him a break. Just let one nightmare go," Soda sighed, "It's got to be hard to keep talking and talking about everything."

"I know," Steve agreed, "I won't ask him about it if you want to let it go for now."

Soda looked at Steve with appreciation, "I guess I want to give him the chance to talk first. I'll worry of course if he decides to never talk about it, but I think I can be there for him this way too."

"Of course you can. Are you scared to hear what happened in the nightmare?"

Soda looked down to the floor and nodded, "Yeah, yeah I am. It's not just a nightmare about how mom and dad died. He's having these outrageous nightmares that never happened."

"It's just his imagination buddy," Steve reassured, "His mind is going a little wild is all."

"It's still scary to hear details about it."

"They scare me too," Steve admitted quietly, "Let's just try to go to bed. We have work in the morning."

Neither Soda or Steve slept the best. Both of their minds wandered. When morning hit, Soda was plenty ready to get up and get into work. He got downstairs and found Steve already in the kitchen making some breakfast.

"Thank God," Soda said, "I am starving."

"Me too," Steve chuckled, "Thinking a lot makes me hungry." The boys sat down and shoved food down.

"That was really good," Soda commented.

"Well thanks," Steve grinned, "Feel better?"

"Much. Thank you. Better make Darry something though," Soda laughed getting up from the table.

"I can whip him up something quick."

"I need to take a shower before work," Soda commented taking his nightshirt off and tossing it towards the laundry.

"Hang on, let me use the bathroom first," Steve said rushing to the door. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Turning on the faucet, he ran some water over his face. His face still had the small bruises on it. "Looks tuff enough," he commented turning the water off. He stepped over to grab the hand towel when a pain erupted in his foot.

"Ow!" he jumped, "What the hell?" Bending over, Steve lifted the rug and saw a blade.

While Steve was in the bathroom, Soda ran upstairs to grab his work clothes. "Hey Pony, you getting up anytime soon?" he asked with a grin.

Pony rubbed his eyes as he sat up, "Yeah yeah yeah, I'm moving."

"You didn't sleep too well?"

"I actually stayed asleep the rest of the night," Pony said, "I do feel tired still. I want to shower and just get clean."

"Well get up and use this bathroom, I'm going to use the downstairs. Then come eat some breakfast before I go into work.

Soda marched back downstairs and began knocking on the bathroom door, "Steve, you done?"

"Yeah, sorry," Steve said from the other side of the door. He slid the blade into his back pocket, concern filling his heart. Turning towards the door, Steve grabbed the doorknob and opened it. He looked past Soda, seeing if Pony was downstairs yet.

"You feeling alright?" Soda asked as Steve didn't look at him, "Does your face hurt?"

"Huh? Oh no, I'm good. Go get yourself smelling good for work."

"Hey! I always smell good," Soda hit Steve on the shoulder as he entered the bathroom.

Steve rolled his eyes, "Right." He took a seat in the living room, leaning forward with his hands folded. So much was running through his mind. It was all coming together. Pony had went into the bathroom last night, because he felt too helpless and was going to actually go through with cutting himself. Steve's head lowered into his hands and grasped his hair tight, wanting to pull it out. His concern was boiling into frustration. And he couldn't hold it in much longer.

Shooting up to his feet, Steve began marching upstairs. The bedroom door for Pony and Soda was closed, so he knocked on it. When an answer didn't come within two seconds, he knocked louder.

"Gees Soda I'm coming," Pony said from the other side.

Steve grasped the doorknob and shoved the door open.

"Oh sorry Steve, I thought you were Soda," Pony said as he put a t-shirt on.

Steve nearly slammed the door behind him, "What the hell is wrong with you kid?"

Pony looked at Steve with confusion. He was talking to him with a tone that was clear he wanted to yell, but was keeping his voice low. It was almost worse than just yelling. "What do you mean?"

Steve reached into his back pocket and tossed the blade onto the bed, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Pony's mouth fell open, unable to speak. Everything seemed to happen so fast last night, he had completely forgotten he had ditched his blade in the bathroom. The blade had completely left his mind as he was being soothed by Steve and Soda.

"So I knocked on the door last night and you shoved it away?" Steve's lip was quivering hard, Pony couldn't tell if he wanted to cry or scream or hit something, "And you didn't fucking tell me?"

"Steve, I was..." Pony swallowed hard, "I was feeling so stuck. I was panicking. I was..."

"Nothing you say is a good excuse," Steve said through gritted teeth, "You promised me." Pony stayed silent, words stuck in his throat. "Show me your arms damnit. How many times have you cut yourself now?"

"I-I haven't!" Pony said with a shaky voice, holding his arms out and flipping them back and forth.

"I swear to God if you're lying to me..."

"You know how this is Steve. You know why I couldn't tell you last night," Pony looked down, "It's not easy to ask for help or..."

"You have so many options though! How could you..." Steve stopped and turned around, wrapping his hands behind his head, trying so hard not to lose his shit right there. He didn't say another word as he opened the door and walked out of the room.

Pony sat on his bed, feeling tears sting his eyes. He never thought he'd hear Steve talk to him that way, not ever again. Slamming himself down, burying his face into the pillow, he let himself bawl. He couldn't blame Steve for being mad, but he couldn't handle Steve handling it that way. He felt like a failure. He felt his and Steve's friendship bounce back to square one, or even square zero.

Sitting back up, Pony continued to cry. He was having a hard time calming himself down. His fists raised up and slammed back down against the bed. His face looked around the room frantically through the blurry vision. He was desperately needing a release.

Standing up, Pony was ready to just yell and let it all out. He looked down at the bed again, glancing at the blade upon his bed. It was taunting him, even as Steve's words bounced around his head.

"Hey Darry," Soda said entering the kitchen, "Can you give me a ride to work?"

"Yeah of course," Darry said rinsing out his coffee cup, "Are you ready now, because I need to head out."

"Yeah I'm ready to go. I just told Pony we were going to be heading out, so he knows," Soda said, "He wouldn't really open the door though. I think he's tired."

"Did he have a rough night?" Darry asked walking past Soda.

Following his older brother to the front door, Soda replied, "Yeah, he had a nightmare. He did fall back asleep, but doesn't seem rested."

"That happens," Darry commented, "Stress can keep you from truly getting rest. Maybe he'll just read and nap today. He could use it honestly."

The brothers exited the house and climbed into Darry's truck. Soda let out a sigh, unable to feel his usual happy-go-lucky self.

"Where's Steve anyway? Why couldn't he bring you to work?"

Soda shrugged, "I got out of the shower and he said he had to go and just left. No explaining anything."

"Huh," Darry said as he began driving down the road, "Did he sound upset or something?"

"Not upset," Soda shook his head, "He was mad. He was trying to simply say he had to go, but I knew the tone. He was pissed off about something, but I have no idea what."

Darry shrugged it off, "It's not a big deal I have to drive you to work, I was just asking."

"I know. I'm trying not to think much of it," Soda said. The brothers were silent the rest of the short drive. Soda just kept his gaze on his lap while his fingers nervously laced together. Steve could have his temper moments where he'd just leave, but Soda could usually figure out what was going on. This time it was hard to pinpoint. Pony not wanting to open the bedroom door when Soda was getting ready to leave didn't help either. It made Soda worry something happened between Steve and Pony while he was in the shower.

"Uh oh," Darry suddenly said, "He's not here."

Soda's head shot up and looked back and forth around the DX parking lot. Darry was right. Steve wasn't at work.