CHAPTER FOURTEEN

It was a long time before Kitetail could even think about sleeping. After spending the afternoon treating Rootfur's wound, he had then waited for Auburnfur and Mothpaw to return from ShadowClan. They had set up a meeting for the next evening. He was grateful to them for going on his behalf, and he told himself it was a good experience for Mothpaw. That way, he could justify his own desire to be as far away from ShadowClan as possible. It really wasn't fair, the way he had left his brother. But it wasn't fair of Birchcloud to tell him such a horrible secret, either. It wasn't fair of StarClan to allow Branchpaw's madness… nothing was fair.

Bitterly, he picked at a robin that Breezepaw had caught on the afternoon patrol. The young black tom was turning into a fine hunter, and he was very polite and kind. Nothing like his father, Kitetail thought with humour. But the smile fell from his face as he thought of Breezepaw's illness. Though the tom was fine most days, there were others he could not help but shake. So fair, Kitetail had found no cure, and Birchcloud had had no idea either. The sourness now returned, Kitetail pushed the robin away, no longer hungry.

Usually he ate with Alderthorn, anyway. It had been moons since they had missed a supper together. He knew he couldn't fault Alderthorn for leaving, but it left Kitetail feeling empty and listless. After rejecting Sootclaw, he had leaned heavily into his friendship with Alderthorn for comfort. He had felt himself grow distant from Dawncloud as well; of course they would always be friends, but she had kept a secret from him – that of Sootclaw's mind-link – and she had spent the last two moons wrapped up in her warrior training.

If Alderthorn were here, Kitetail would be able to confess all of his worries. He could express his fear about these shades that were attacking them and his immense guilt at losing Mouseheart – whenever a Clanmate died, it felt like his fault somehow, even if he hadn't been there. Somehow, if he had just been better… He sighed. He was still thinking about Nettleclaw, even after moons had passed.

Then there was Rootfur's wound. Glistening, pus-filled, foul. He had never seen anything like it, and of the source, there was no doubt. Shades attacking WindClan. He and Stormtail had patched it up as best they could, poultices and cobwebs, but it was clear that Rootfur was in a lot of pain, and that it was only going to get worse. Feeling powerless, Kitetail lashed out at the robin, knocking it across the den. Then he froze, frightened by the rash and violent nature of his action.

"Kitetail?" Willowstar stood at the entrance of the den.

He gaped at her a moment and then, feeling rather foolish, said: "Come in." He had barely gotten used to being around Slatestar; he didn't know how to handle interacting with a new leader. But he was the medicine cat, so he drew up his chest and tried to act much older than he felt.

"You're Sootclaw's brother, right?" she asked. She really was wasting away; Kitetail had noticed it earlier, but it was even more obvious up close. He felt a pang of pity at the sight of her ribs. He had seen her at Gatherings, and she had always looked so powerful, though perhaps that had been the darkness inside of her.

"Yes, I am," he mewed, with a nod.

"Sootclaw is the one who saved us," she said. "I never got to thank him properly."

"Right." What was Kitetail supposed to say to that?

"Do you think it's insane?" Willowstar asked, sitting a tail-length away and wrapping her tail over her paws. "Everything that's happened over the past few moons."

"It's…" Kitetail trailed off. "If you had told me even three moons ago that the Dark Forest was coming to wage war on the Clans, I would never have believed you. Or Sootclaw, about his power. Then we saw what happened to WindClan."

"It was awful, Kitetail," she said softly. "The things we did."

His skin prickled. "Why are you here – no offense, I mean, Willowstar. I'm just confused. Do you have a question for me?"

"I wanted to thank you," she said. If she had taken offense, she did not show her. Clan leaders did have masterful composure. "For talking Slatestar into letting us stay here. It seems I owe both you and your brother debts."

"You're welcome." Kitetail had force his inflection downward, so it didn't sound like a question. Don't be so nervous. "But I don't need a debt. I'm just doing my best. And having both our Clans together will help us in the upcoming conflict."

She nodded and rose to her paws. But before she could exit the den, she turned and looked at him one final time. The rising moonlight caught her face so that one half was illuminated, the other in darkness. "Are you scared of us, Kitetail?"

WindClan had attacked their camp, had tortured a RiverClan apprentice, had tried to destroy and infect all the other Clans. The memory of that day, of WindClan rolling down the hill like a great black wave, still plagued him. But the WindClan he had met today was frail and weak and yet somehow still full of life. So Kitetail could answer truthfully: "No."

Her face brightened and the moonlight caught the rest of it and the moment of uneasiness was over. He did not feel scared of Willowstar anymore. Instead he felt sympathy for her. She needed someone to talk to, someone like Kitetail – a medicine cat bound to listen to a leader's woes. All of WindClan needed so much, he thought as he looked out over the camp clearing, where cats of both Clans were dragging in moss to make nests for the newcomers. He would try his best to help them.

When he slept that night he tried with all his might to summon Branchpaw. He knew that StarClan wasn't supposed to visit anymore, but medicine cats were supposed to be different, right? Surely they could receive omens without allowing the Dark Forest to go stronger? He pictured Branchpaw in his mind as vividly as he could. It took him a long time to fall asleep, especially without a comforting presence at his side. When he finally did, his dreams were empty.

.

"Please, Slatestar, it's the only way," Kitetail pleaded the next morning. It was bright and warm, a pleasant reminder of newleaf. Dew glistened on shrubs, and all around them, the ThunderClan camp was beginning to wake. Larchstripe was organizing the day's patrols, and Kitetail noticed that both ThunderClan and WindClan warriors were being assigned to them. Swiftfang stood beside her, offering quiet suggestions.

"It's dangerous, Kitetail," the leader said. Every so often his gaze would leave the medicine cat and go out to the WindClan cats. Did it make him uneasy for them to be here? Kitetail thought back to what Willowstar had said. Just because Slatestar knew the darkness was gone from the other Clan did not mean he was going to feel that way. Emotions were not rational, after all.

"I'll be careful," said Kitetail. "I'll take a patrol with me."

"We can't spare the warriors," said Slatestar. "Not with…"

"WindClan is in no position to threaten you," mewed Kitetail insistently, lowering his voice. "They need us, Slatestar. Besides, if anything goes wrong, ShadowClan and RiverClan know about our situation."

"You said it yourself – they're both weak right now."

Kitetail had made that point. It didn't mean they wouldn't rush to ThunderClan's aid should anything arise… he hoped. He let himself deflate. Getting angry with Slatestar never helped. He needed to be calm and precise in his arguments. "The attacks from the shades are only going to get worse," he said. "If there's a time for me to go, it's now, before things escalate. I'll have new information for the meeting tonight. Helpful information. It could be the difference between life and death for some of us."

Slatestar winced. They were both thinking of Mouseheart. She was far too young to have died. Disappeared. Without a body, there was still a chance she was out there. Owlfeather was allowing himself to hope, but Kitetail was not. He wasn't going to allow himself to be crushed in the end.

"We need you, Kitetail," Slatestar said at last, in a low and unusually soft voice. "What if something were to happen to you?"

He should have been thrilled to hear those words, the mark of his true acceptance into ThunderClan. Yet part of him could not believe it. You don't need me. You have Stormtail now. WindClan's medicine had dozens of moons of experience.

"Slatestar – "

"My decision is final, Kitetail," he said. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I have other matters."

He left Kitetail alone in the clearing. The brown tabby dug his claws into the dirt and tried to stop from shaking. He felt so weak, unable to convince Slatestar to let him go.

He needed to visit StarClan.

He hadn't been to the Moonpool since receiving his full name. After the monster crashed on RiverClan territory, the visits had stopped. Patchnose was dead. Birchloud had his paws full with ShadowClan and RiverClan. Stormtail was busy with WindClan starving and recovering from the darkness.

With everything that had happened: Mouseheart, the shades, Rootfur's wound… he needed to hear StarClan's wisdom. They would be able to provide valuable information that he could relay in the meeting later. It might make all the difference. Because if they didn't tell him what to do, then… Kitetail squeezed his eyes shut. It was all too much.

One. Two. Three. He opened his eyes again and felt composed, though not better. Slatestar had wandered away to talk to Larchstripe. Swiftfang was nowhere to be seen. Groups of warriors milled around camp, while others left on patrols. No one was paying any attention to him.

It would be easy.

Kitetail got to his paws and padded out of camp. Cherrytail was sitting at the entrance. She didn't stop him, merely nodded her head, as he began the trek up out of the quarry. He felt another stab of guilt thinking about her and Limepaw. She was a good mother; subdued, after Falconswoop's death. Her secret had come out soon after the ShadowClan warrior's death. Slatestar's punishment, on the other hand, remained a secret between him and Cherrytail. The rest of the Clan did not mention her transgression.

The warm morning light would have usually calmed him, as he had since become quite at home in ThunderClan territory, but right now nothing could settle his nerves. Was he really doing this? Alderthorn would have talked him out of it. You never went against your leader's authority. But this was important. Kitetail wasn't going to let any more cats die when he had the power to do something about it. First lying about Limepaw, now sneaking out of ThunderClan territory.

It's not that far, he told himself. He went north, keeping inside ThunderClan territory as long as he could. It didn't take him long at all to reach the border where he crossed, not into WindClan, but above it, into the neutral set of hills that led to the Moonpool. He would be there by sunhigh, and then back in time for the meeting. Maybe no one would even notice he had gone. Well… he thought about Rootfur and winced. He and Stormtail would notice. And Breezepaw too, if he had another one of his incidents –

Kitetail quickly banished the thoughts from his mind. He couldn't second guess himself now. He was almost there. He moved through the neutral territories with purpose, setting a demanding pace for himself. His muscles began to grow tired from the journey. He wasn't used to this distance of travel, nor this speed. He and Alderthorn would gather herbs often, but their walks were pleasant, and they chatted as they worked.

He had learned so much about Alderthorn over the last two moons. The tom had opened up so willingly about his past. There was always some new, absurd Twolegplace tradition he was telling Kitetail about that differed so much from Clan rules. Yet Alderthorn had taken so well to being a Clan cat. He looked completely at ease in the forest now. Kitetail could picture him, laughing, eyes shining, the sun catching his face just so. He was so handsome…

Kitetail jolted himself out of it. He wasn't allowed to think that way about Alderthorn. It was against the warrior code.

Trying to keep himself distracted, he increased his pace. It was punishing, but he made it to the Moonpool earlier than expected. He came to a stop at the top of the stone hollow and stood there a moment, desperately catching his breath. Beside him, the stream trickled down into the pool. On the other side was the steep cliff, where water flowed from a cleft. The sunlight sparkled on the running water. It should have made Kitetail feel calm, but he couldn't help the growing unease.

He padded down the dimpled path toward the pool. Under his paws he could feel the grooves of ancient pawprints. His warrior ancestors, guiding him down. For generations, medicine cats and leaders had come here to speak with StarClan. He couldn't bear to think that all this time, StarClan reaching out had only allowed the Dark Forest to grow stronger. He understood now, from seeing Branchpaw, that StarClan had saved Sootclaw through the mind-link, but in doing so had sacrificed Branchpaw's life, even if unintentionally. It was tragic, even cruel. Yet he had to trust that StarClan had only wanted to do the right thing. He needed to keep faith in them, even now. Especially now.

Kitetail lay down at the pool and lapped a few droplets of water before touching his nose to it. Then he closed his eyes. Birchcloud and Slatestar had taken him here to receive his full name. He had stood in a grove of stars and watched Brindlefeather descend from the glittering night to bestow her approval. He had been so scared to become a full medicine cat, to stand on his own without Birchcloud. But his knowledge of herbs was advanced, and ThunderClan had needed him.

This time, he did not fall asleep. Worry began to pick at him. What could have gone wrong? Kitetail drank some more water. But still StarClan did not appear to take him. As he lay, he felt the sun grow hot on his back, and then cool again as it passed overhead. StarClan was not speaking to him. He opened his eyes and spoke plaintively to the pool. "Please. I need to speak with you." Still nothing happened.

Please… I need to know what to do next.

But StarClan was silent, and he could not spend any more time here. Kitetail got to his paws and cast an anguished glance toward the pool. Then, feeling very tired, he took the path away from the Moonpool and began his long trek back to ThunderClan. At first he was angry. Betrayed. But the more he walked, the more he felt the fatigue in his paws, and the more he felt defeated. He was not looking forward to Slatestar's anger. It would have been one thing if he had a solution to share with them. But he had just wasted his time.

He was halfway back to camp, just north of the ThunderClan border, when he scented them.

Them. He knew it was plural. They were foul, but one was sweeter than the other. One was behind him, and close. The other was just ahead. Kitetail froze, fear making his breath shallow and his heartbeat quick. He tried to think of his options, but his mind was moving far too quickly. His entire body grew taut. He could run. But if they hadn't noticed him yet, they would then. He could try to sneak forward quietly, but they were so close…

Mouse-brain, he thought. He should have listened to Slatestar. But no, he had thought he'd known better. Thought talking to StarClan was worth the risk. The joke was on him, in the end. Maybe he deserved it. He should have been better, stronger, weaker. When the smell of darkness grew stronger and the bushes in front of him parted, he half expected to see Nettleclaw emerge. The deputy was in StarClan, of course, but his face, wracked with greencough, still haunted Kitetail.

It was not Nettleclaw, but a tortoiseshell she-cat. She met Kitetail's eyes and smiled. Her smile was too wide, and had too many teeth. Before he could react, she took a step forward, and her form immediately transformed into shifting black smoke. He took a nervous step backward, only to hear something behind him. The medicine cat whipped around to see a large white cat, who also immediately shifted into swirling haze when he moved.

"H-How can I see you?" he asked. He had to stall.

They didn't answer; they just moved closer, circling him. Maybe it was that they were stronger, he thought. That was why they were able to show their forms, if only for a moment. But he didn't have time to reflect further on it, because they were pacing around him, two balls of black smoke growing closer and closer every time they finished a pass. Kitetail shrunk in to himself. He had no choice but to fight them. If he was going to die, he might as well die bravely.

He lunged just as they did and in the confusion, they missed each other. Kitetail landed by some bushes and immediately turned around to see both shades looking – or so he assumed – right at him. Kitetail jumped forward again and was immediately knocked to the side, his face sliding into the soil. It had been a hard blow, but there was no pain. No claws. The shade approached lazily.

Kitetail scrabbled back to his paws. The shades were both slowly advancing. One of them lunged forward and he tried to dodge, but he was too slow. A paw knocked into his head, making it spin. No claws again though, and even though he anticipated the slicing pain of darkness, it didn't come. Yet. They were toying with him. They knew he couldn't fight back. They circled him once more and he found himself frozen, unable to fight back or run. He opened his mouth to yell for help and fear froze the cry on his lips.

StarClan, he thought. If you're there at all, if you can hear me – Please!

X

A/N: Kitetail really messed this one up, huh? He's not making smart choices currently. This chapter pretty well sets up the rest of his arc though. This is also the first chapter I've written recently, hence any difference in writing style. The timeline is a bit weird over the next few chapters; the stuff with Kitetail and next chapter with Sootclaw takes place over the timeframe that Dawncloud is journeying to the Tribe.

Aly: ooh, very good guesses there! Poor Elmheart indeed. Thanks for the review!

Next chapter will go back to Sootclaw and (probably) Fogpaw, and be up this weekend.

Thanks for reading and please review!

- PV :)