Note: The song lyrics mentioned in this chapter are from "Violent" by Four Star Mary, the band whose songs were used for Dingoes Ate My Baby.

Chapter 21: Passion

Lucy

Lucy closed the book she'd been reading and rested her head on the cover. She was in the library again. Or maybe she was in the library still. It was kind of hard to tell. "What time is it?"

"Almost five," Buffy said. There was a faint thud as she punched or kicked some part of the padding on Mr. Giles's body. Judging by how Mr. Giles sounded, she'd probably kicked him in the gut.

"What day is it?" Lucy asked.

"Can't you read our minds and find out?" Xander's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Lucy didn't say anything. She didn't even bother to lift her head. Xander had been acting like this ever since she'd told their group that she was a mind-reader. She just had to hope he'd get over it.

Though, in the spirit of the whole not keeping secrets thing, she had also mentioned that Spike was alive. Xander might have been angrier about that. Who was she kidding? He was definitely angrier about that. The mind-reading was a convenient scapegoat.

"It's Tuesday," Willow said after a pause. "Are you feeling okay?"

It was tempting to lie. Very tempting. But they'd all agreed that lying was of the bad right now, no matter how much panic not lying would cause.

"I've been having these dreams," Lucy said. "Drusilla is scared about something. I think she might have had a vision."

The library went silent. Lucy took her head off her book and saw that Mr. Giles, Buffy, Willow and Xander were all staring at her with expressions ranging from alarm to fear to (as predicted) panic.

"Why didn't you say something?" Buffy demanded.

At the same time, Xander asked, "What's scaring her?"

A shrug was an accurate answer to both of those questions. Lucy shrugged and was saved from providing a verbal response by Ms. Calendar entering the library. She was carrying a book in one hand and a large cardboard box in the other.

"Hi, everyone." Ms. Calendar put her book on the counter and fumbled with the box, which she had braced against her hip. "I have some news."

Buffy crossed her arms. "Good or bad?" She still hadn't forgiven Ms. Calendar for the whole being a spy for the Kalderash clan who'd cursed Angel thing.

There was a lot of passionate resentment going around.

"Good, I hope." Ms. Calendar got the box on the counter and turned to pick up the book. "I've found the—" She cut herself off, eyeing Lucy hesitantly.

Lucy stood up. "This is me excusing myself from the strategy meeting. I'll see you at home, Buffy."

As Lucy was walking past Ms. Calendar, the little Drusilla bubble in the back of her mind expanded. She found herself turning around and delivering a slap to Ms. Calendar's face.

"Bad dolly," Drusilla said with Lucy's voice. "You're trying to take my daddy away. We'll burn you up."

Lucy was reaching for Ms. Calendar's neck with both hands—what was it with her trying to strangle people?—when Buffy grabbed her from behind and dragged her away. She struggled for a moment before Drusilla gave up and let her have her body back.

"Sorry," Lucy said. She looked at Ms. Calendar. "Sorry."

Ms. Calendar rubbed her cheek. "It's okay."

Drusilla struck again. This time she sent images into Lucy's mind, imaginings of what she and Angelus would do when they found Ms. Calendar. Stitched lips, a pattern of bites covering her skin like lace, and blood, always blood. Lucy was thankful that Buffy was still holding onto her. She wasn't sure she would have still been standing when Drusilla was done if Buffy wasn't holding her up.

"Ow," Lucy said, because that seemed to explain her situation in the smallest number of syllables. Her head felt like it was going to burst. Buffy helped her to sit down on the floor with her back against the book cage. Lucy closed her eyes to try to reduce some of the pain light was causing.

"So, maybe we know what the crazy vampire lady is scared of," Xander said after a few seconds.

Yeah, maybe they did.

It was a while before Lucy felt up to moving. Buffy carried her to Mr. Giles's office so that she could lie down and the rest of them could talk without her hearing. Drusilla continued to be present in her mind, but she had done a one-eighty and was giving Lucy mental cuddles and being all comforting. That was somehow scarier than when Drusilla tried to hurt her. Lucy lay on the floor in the dark and, of course, she fell asleep. Drusilla's presence hung uncomfortably heavy over her dreams. When she woke up, that was all she remembered.

Lucy was still blinking away grogginess when Buffy came back into the office. "Lucy? We're going to head home now. Need me to help you up?"

"I'm okay." Lucy proved herself right by getting to her feet without falling over. "Were plans made?"

Buffy nodded but didn't say anything about what those plans might be. Lucy didn't ask. On their way out of the library they passed Mr. Giles and Ms. Calendar talking quietly by the counter. Drusilla whimpered when Lucy looked at Ms. Calendar.

"Ms. Calendar?" Lucy continued when Ms. Calendar turned to her. "Drusilla is scared of you. Whatever you're doing, do it fast, before Angelus finds out."

Ms. Calendar pursed her lips and nodded. "I will. And Lucy? You be careful too."

Lucy smirked. "Aren't I always?"

Mr. Giles coughed and laughed at the same time. Buffy rolled her eyes.

Ms. Calendar smiled. "I'm not going to answer that."

Whatever Ms. Calendar's plan was, the others seemed to think that it was pretty solid. Willow and Mr. Giles dialed down the constant Angelus research from "might happen any day" to "we have to panic, but not that much", which looked the same as "might happen any day" except the reduced bags under their eyes indicated that they were catching up on sleep. That wouldn't have happened if they didn't have some confidence. Lucy actually caught Buffy humming on Friday morning.

Aunt Joy noticed too. "You seem happy, Buffy. Anything I should know about?"

Buffy quickly shook her head. "Nope, just feeling cheery. Had to happen eventually with all the overwhelming doom and gloom."

"I don't think that's how it works," Lucy said. "And don't you have a French test today?"

Buffy's face fell. "Phooey."

Lucy and Aunt Joy looked at each other and giggled.

Lucy had a biology test first thing and Mr. Charles let them leave as soon as they were done. Oz was out of the room in fifteen minutes. At the twenty minute mark, Lucy joined him in the free-period hangout. She sat down next to him on one of the couches and took a book out of her bag. Oz was a good person to read around. He didn't interrupt her reading with talk. Her book was one she had borrowed from Mr. Giles about Ancient Egyptian magic and mystery schools. It was full of untranslated sections of books written in hieroglyphics and hieratic that Lucy was slowly puzzling her way though. She had left copies of several of her translations between the book's pages to make things easier in case they ended up being something they needed later.

"Playing the Bronze tomorrow night," Devon announced when he dropped onto the couch across from them about ten minutes later. "We've got a new song."

It wasn't the first time Devon had sprung new music on them the day before a gig. Lucy and Oz accepted the sheet music he shoved into their hands and began reading it over. Lucy's eyebrows were raised to her hairline by the end of the first page.

"'It slays me every time'?" Lucy sighed and shook her head. "Guess I should be glad we're not playing the Shelter." She could only imagine how the demons there would react to that line.

Oz pointed to a bar on the second page that Lucy hadn't gotten to yet. "This cord won't work."

Devon snatched the pages back. "Where?"

Oz moved over to the other couch to help Devon with his music. Lucy went back to her book.

In the end, Devon decided that their new song was not ready to be performed. Lucy was thankful for that because it meant that she didn't have to memorize new music the day before it had to be played. They would sound decent at the Bronze, and since she couldn't talk the boys out of cancelling on account of Angelus that was the best option she could hope for.

She would have to double-check that there was extra holy water in Oz's van. When they left the bottles lying around, Devon usually ended up drinking it. Good for making him unpalatable to vampires, bad for the rest of them being able to defend themselves.

Lucy didn't see Buffy, Willow or Xander during their free period. She assumed that they were in the library, so to stay out of their way she took her book outside and sat down underneath one of the trees behind the school. It was a spot that she'd found back in November, when she'd thought that Spike was dead. No one else ever seemed to go there, so when she'd wanted to be alone—when she'd needed to be alone—it was a good place.

Pretty little bird, Drusilla crooned. Break her neck.

Well, she was almost alone.

Lucy groaned. "Why are you even awake? It's the middle of the day."

Broken neck and broken wings. Drusilla's reply wasn't a reply at all. Such a bad magpie.

Lucy sighed and closed her book. Her free period was almost over anyway. Hopefully Drusilla would let her concentrate during class.

Yeah, and Angelus might save them all the trouble and walk out into the sun.

A shiver ran through Lucy's body. She didn't want Angel dead, but Angelus...She rubbed her arms, trying to tame the goosebumps that had appeared. No, thinking like that was a bad idea. Lucy was even more convinced of that when Buffy broke down crying after she got home from school. She'd stayed late to finish whatever they were working on in the library. Aunt Joy hugged her and asked what was wrong.

"We...tried...to...give...Angel...his...soul...back," Buffy said in between sobs. "It didn't work!"

"Oh, honey." Aunt Joy hugged Buffy closer to her. "I'm so sorry. Maybe you could try again?"

Lucy squeezed Buffy's hand and didn't say anything.

Lucy pried her eyes open. There was something sticky on her right eyelid that made it harder for that eye to open, but eventually she managed. She couldn't see anything but darkness. She didn't try to move anything else, even though she was lying on a cold floor with a wall pressing against her back. Her head hurt so much. She slammed her mental walls into place to try to reduce the pain but it didn't help one bit. If she tried to move she was sure she'd pass out again, probably after throwing up.

She breathed in slowly. The air was musty and damp. She tasted metal in the back of her mouth. Where was she? The floor under her felt like stone and so did the wall when she haltingly ran her fingers over it. That meant that she couldn't be at school, at home or in the factory. She didn't remember going anywhere that had stone walls and floors. Actually, she didn't remember much of anything past leaving the Bronze after their set. A blur of movement and then...She'd hit her head. That explained a lot.

There was the screeching sound of metal on metal. A door squeaked open. Lucy looked in the direction of the noise but still saw nothing but darkness. Heavy footsteps made their way towards her. She forced herself to sit up and meant to raise her arms in front of her but her throbbing head wouldn't let her.

"Well, don't you look terrible?" a voice said.

Lucy's blood turned to ice. She knew what had happened now.

When Angelus spoke again he was right in front of her, probably crouching or kneeling so that they were face-to-face. "Oh, and this." He touched her forehead above her right eye and sharp pain knifed through her head. She could feel the crusted edges of skin bending and blood sticking to his fingers as he pulled them away. "This just looks painful." There was a pause before he added, "Tastes good though."

"You—" Lucy barely got the word out before Angelus put a finger to her lips. She immediately fell silent. It would be easy, so easy, for him to break her neck. She didn't think that was what he wanted to do though. Angelus didn't do easy, not for his victims.

"What kind of friend would I be if I let you walk around in pain?" Angelus tilted her head back and poured a bitter liquid into her mouth. Lucy sputtered and tried to spit it out but he held a hand over her nose and mouth until her body gave her no choice but to swallow. When she did, she wished that she'd been allowed to suffocate.

Pain, sharp, burning, never-ending pain, erupted in every part of her body. Lucy screamed. That was all that she could do. She wasn't even allowed the relief of passing out.

After what felt like forever, the pain did end. Lucy opened her eyes. Angelus had moved her or turned on a light. She could see the room she was in now, though there wasn't much to see. The walls were bare stone, there were no windows and a single light bulb was glowing in the middle of the ceiling. Angelus was standing a stone's throw away. It could have been a stake's throw, but Lucy wasn't a Slayer and she could tell by the weight of her pockets that Angelus has stripped her of any weapons. Her head didn't hurt anymore, but without at least a cross and some holy water she couldn't fight her way out of there. Lucy stood up slowly, never taking her eyes off of the vampire. Angelus watched her with a cruel smirk on his face.

"You know, if you let me go home now you won't have to worry about Buffy staking you when she comes to get me," Lucy said.

Angelus laughed. It was big and loud and nothing like Angel's awkward chuckling. "You really are a riot, Lu. I can see why Spike kept you around."

Before Lucy could say anything in response, Angelus had a hand around her neck and slammed her against the wall. Her body was wracked with pain. Lucy's screams turned into a whimper when the pain ended.

"That healing potion I gave you? It has some side effects," Angelus said. "For the next hour or two it'll heal anything that happens to you, but I've been told it'll hurt like hell."

That was a good way to put it. When Angelus grabbed her wrist, the healing hurt more than him crushing her bones.

Lucy barely heard the clinking of chains over her screaming. Angelus wrenched her arms upward and the cold weight of shackles snapped shut around her wrists.

Despite her wrist being broken only seconds before, Lucy yanked at the chains. She could feel her heart beating wildly, telling her to run away from this monster wearing her friend's face. It was a little too late for that.

Angelus grinned. "Didn't you and Spike ever try chains? Or maybe you and Dru? Dru loves chains."

Drusilla did seem to like chains, but she always thought about being the one chained up. It seemed clear where she got that from.

Angelus walked over to a little table by the door that Lucy could barely make out in the dim light. "I know Buffy is going to come try to rescue you," he said conversationally. "That's why I really want to enjoy this before we get interrupted. Not going to lie, I kind of wanted Willow. I've got a bit of a soft spot for her, you know? But don't think I'm not happy to have you here. I mean, last time I tortured somebody, they didn't even have chainsaws."

Lucy swallowed once and decided not to say anything. He was going to hurt her no matter what, wasn't he? She'd only make it worse for herself if she made him mad, and she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of hearing her beg.

She would probably be begging soon enough, but it was a nice thought.

Angelus ran his hand over the things on the table. Lucy peeked into his mind for a second and saw knives, pliers, handsaws and other tools. She shut him out before she could see what he was planning. She didn't want to see that.

"For now, let's go with..." Angelus picked up one of his tools and turned back around, "a classic." Light glinted off the blade of his hunting knife.

As Angelus closed in on her, Lucy became determined not to scream. Then she changed her mind and thought that she'd better scream so that someone could find her. Then she changed her mind again. No one aside from Buffy and the gang would really bother to listen for screams in Sunnydale, and only Buffy would have a chance of fighting Angelus off. Lucy didn't want to get anyone killed.

"You're quiet." Angelus gently rested the flat of his knife against Lucy's cheek. He drew it along her skin with a feather light touch, skimming over her jaw and down her chest until he reached her waist. With his other hand he pushed the hem of her shirt up to expose her stomach. "Huh. Someone got here before me. Did Drusilla try to saw you in half?"

Only a little. With her fingernails. Repeatedly.

Lucy gritted her teeth. "None of your business."

Angelus smirked and cut a burning line across her stomach. He watched with fascination as it healed. "Neat."

Lucy kept her jaw clenched shut, afraid she might let out some lingering screams. She'd made a low whine in her throat while the cut healed, but that was all. She'd even managed to keep her eyes open. Really, after what Drusilla had done to her, this was nothing. The pain had surprised her the first few times, that's all.

That was what she kept telling herself anyway.

Angelus cut into her skin again, deeper this time. "Come on, Lu. It's not as fun if you don't scream. I'd settle for a bit of crying."

Lucy didn't scream. She didn't cry. She only whimpered, until Angelus made deeper cuts. Then she cried.

Angelus smiled.