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Chapter 23

EPOV

I'm in an unending cycle of worry and helpless feelings over my son. He hasn't needed anything from me in weeks, and to think he feels like he can't come to me breaks me.

The limp he carries is the only outward sign of the accident. While I'm thrilled that he can go back to playing sports next school year, I don't see it happening, not with how he is right now. It's obvious, and expected, that everything still weighs heavily on him.

He's fallen into himself, and I don't know if he'll ever dig his way out. When he was confronted at school and Lucian fucked that kid up, I thought I saw a spark inside Damon, but I don't know. He still hasn't said a word in my presence, but I wonder if maybe he's opened up with Lucian.

"How does it make you feel to know your son has withdrawn from everyone?"

I sigh, the counselor's question breaking me from my thoughts. This is my first one-on-one session. Last week, we had a family session. After that was over, we split off; the kids went to their solo sessions, and Bella and I attended a couple's session. When I suggested counseling, I thought we would do family sessions and maybe the kids could have solos, but the Willow Center's higher-ups thought we could use our own personal sessions along with couples.

I have no fucking clue if they really believe that or they just want more money out of us. But Bella agreed, and I didn't want to look like a fucking hypocrite.

"It makes me feel helpless. My son is in pain, and I don't know how to fix it." I rub my face, thinking about Damon.

"I bet it's a scary feeling."

"It is."

"How are you and your wife doing?"

The question stops me short. "Um, okay, I guess."

"How has everything affected your marriage?"

"We had some ongoing problems before my son lost his baby." I don't know why that spilled out of my mouth. It really didn't relate to the question she asked me.

"What was going on?"

"We got lost in our jobs, and it was like we were ships passing in the night. It started when one of our adopted daughter's grandparents died." I pause, thinking about it. "Or maybe it started before and it just compounded when we took in two more kids. Or maybe we were both avoiding home because we didn't know how to handle our one son's shenanigans. But we got through it, and we cut back on our hours; we made more time."

She smiles. "But?"

I sigh. "I feel like it was too late. I feel that we already missed too much. And now my son is an empty shell of his former self."

"Would you be happier going back to the eighty-hour workweeks?"

I shake my head. "Fuck, no. I'm happier being home more. Being involved with the kids more. Doing more things as a family."

"What are your hopes with therapy?"

I blink, staring blankly at her because I don't fucking know outside of one thing. "I want Damon to be okay." As I answer her, I know it's not the answer she wants.

"What do you want for yourself?"

I shrug. "I don't know."

If my answer disappoints her, she doesn't show it. Instead, she moves on. "How did you and your wife meet?"

All the topic changes are giving me whiplash. "She worked at a diner that my siblings dragged me to." I smile at the memory.

"Love at first sight?"

I laugh hard. "God, no. I was a colossal dick, and she had the cook make me this ridiculous sandwich."

My therapist smiles. "How did you guys get together, then?"

"She became my assistant, and I fell in love with her." Shaking my head, I correct myself. "Our kids, actually. We spent so much time together that it just happened, I guess."

"Lucian and Damon aren't your biological kids. It must have been hard to step into the position of their stepdad."

I feel a sudden rush of anger. "Stepdad." I grit my teeth. "They're my kids. Mine. All the kids are mine. I'm there taking them to practice, I'm there for the big games, for their first heartbreaks. Me, because I am their dad. Blood doesn't get to say otherwise. My presence says it."

She smiles at me, and I want to smash something against the fucking wall. "This is a brilliant start. We'll pick this up when you come back."

I nod, seething and confused as fuck, but I schedule our next appointment for two weeks from now, anyway. I walk out to find my wife coming out of her appointment with puffy eyes and a sad smile when she sees me. I wonder what got her in that state? Fuck, she probably had this amazing session, and mine was bullshit. Why the hell did the therapist ask me such dumbass questions?

"Hey, babe, how did it go?" Bella wraps herself around me.

I hum, breathing her in. "It was confusing as fuck. I just want to go home to the kids."

I kiss the top of her head, and with my arm wrapped around her shoulders, I lead us out of the building. Since the therapist asked me that last question, I've been itching to see them. To take everyone out for a nice dinner, maybe take them shopping. When was the last time we all went shopping? I give no fucks that Christmas was a few weeks ago. They need something. I need to get them something.

"I'm ready for a night in with the kids," she says. "I think a nice movie night. We can get some pizza and dessert and put in something for all of us to watch, and just snuggle on the floor."

I picture a big blanket and all the kids surrounding us. "That's the perfect plan."

"I think we'll be okay; Damon will be okay. We need to stick together as a family and just show him how much we love and support him. We'll be okay," Bella keeps repeating. Sometimes, she recites things, hoping if it's said enough, it'll come true.

I pull her to me and kiss her lips hard. "Fuck yeah, let's get home."

And we come home to the insanity that is our life.

Wyatt sits on the ground with a doll in his hand, and Lily is crying her head off. Sarah's face is buried in her phone, Julie's wearing headphones and reading some animal book. Masen giggles in the corner while Maddie tries to cuddle Lily. Damon leans against the wall while Lucian tries not to tear his hair out. Michael is breathing through his nose.

"Who wants pizza and movie night?" Bella calls out, walking over to grab the doll and hand it to our daughter to stop the crying.

All the little ones scream with joy and start yelling out what they want as toppings.

*AFOC*

Once the little ones are out for the night and Bella and I are getting ready for bed, I look over at her and do a double-take.

She's wearing a simple, cream-colored silk nightie with her hair flowing freely around her shoulders. She doesn't even notice me staring at her. She's so fucking gorgeous, and she doesn't even realize it.

Unable to control myself, I stroll over and grab her by the ass, pulling her to me and kissing her hard. Enthusiastically, she presses her lips against mine, mumbling in my mouth, "It's been so long."

I'm breathless from our kiss. It has been too long. For months, we've been wrapped up in our kids and trying to fix our marriage. We lost our intimacy among everything else happening.

We rush to undress, trying to beat the invisible clock. No foreplay or dirty talk, just us falling onto the bed and me sinking into her. And it feels so fucking good.

She wiggles underneath me. "Edward, you have to move. I need you to move."

I groan and begin thrusting. I try to start slow, attempting to savor the feeling of being inside her, but she's so fucking warm and wet. It's all too much, and I speed up, going harder and faster with each thrust. "I won't last long, babe," I warn her before I slide my hand down, reaching for her clit and frantically trying to get her off before I come like a kid losing his virginity.

I'm not wrong. A few thrusts later, I come so hard I see stars behind my eyelids. Trying to catch my breath, I remember that I have no idea if she got off. Fuck, I'm an idiot.

I kiss her lips. Slipping out, I pull her into my side to snuggle her. "I'm sorry, baby."

She smiles. "Its fine, hun." She turns, hugging herself closer to my side and slipping her legs in between mine. "I got mine; it's been so long, it didn't take much for me, either."

I snort. "I fucking declare Sundays fuck day."

She snickers, kissing my chest. "I think we can arrange that."

We finally clean up before climbing back into bed with our clothes on, snuggling back up.

"Do you think this will work?"

I don't need to ask what she's referring to; I know she's asking about counseling. Even though I suggested it, I'm skeptical after my solo session. However, I keep my opinion to myself. She doesn't need my negativity; she needs to hear me say everything will be fine. "Yes, I do."

What do you think about how Edward is handling things?

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