Keeper of words here: Another update. I hope you enjoy it as much as much as we did writing it. Its literally got a lot of everything in it. And a special thanks to my cats for inspiration for Barbra in this one. I have said this before, but I cant say it enough: Thank you for taking this journey into the lives of these characters. It is my strong hope you can sense and feel the love they have for each other. It is also my hope it shows our strong belief that all of us have our issues and struggles but the love heals, strengthens and empowers.

Hayley here: Another update so soon! It's a crazy time, and this is like therapy to me. Thank you all for your thoughts and reviews. We are glad to see that you are doing well and we are grateful to see what everyone thinks of the books. Much love to all of you and we hope you enjoy the newest update from our Corcoran-July family.

More to come soon!

Love always.

Chapter 17: Keepers of Our Heart

Cassandra sat at the kitchen table with her laptop, scrolling through google to see her options. After the past few weeks, she was painfully aware she was in need of some time in the gym. Dancing was one thing. She knew she was in good shape, but her body was not that of a ballerina anymore, as much as it destroyed her to admit. She knew some would scoff at a person of her size and stature for wanting to lose weight, but she only saw imperfection, and a downgrade throughout the years. Back when she lived in New York full time she had a personal trainer and a gym membership. Only months ago, she and Shelby were going to Lima country club, but they couldn't afford that anymore and the kids wouldn't be allowed. Working with weights had been her normal routine, because god forbid she pull a muscle during a performance or run. Getting pulled from a role in a show was financially disastrous when an ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure.

Recent events had caused the resurgence of several old demons, and the incident in the changing room of the clothing store, while not in the forefront of her mind, still lingered and mocked her. Seeing Rachel outside whacking that tree with all she had in her had gotten Cassandra to thinking. The whole family could use a membership to the Lima YMCA. Both of the girls could do the swimming lesson thing, or at least start to, and Cassandra would be able to finally link up with the professional trainer that Stef always raved about. Shelby tended to like the spinning and yoga classes. It would be a good thing for all of them.

"Shelbs?" Cass spoke to her wife, not looking up from the screen."We have been living in this backwoods town for how many years? Tell me why we never joined the Y?"

Shelby had been in her own little world on her own laptop, paying bills. The mortgage was due in three days and the bank was not going to have a care in the world that there had been a death in the family, or that they had been out of state. Shelby also had to check the business account and balance the books for the end of the spring semester. While she had not lifted her head when her wife addressed her, the question about the Y had gotten her full attention.

"Because you refused to go to an organization that was called the "Young Men's Christian Association"," Shelby answered, propping her chin in her hand on her elbow. "Not that I have not seen your ever-so-principled ass schmoozing those conservative white collars at the New York Arts Association fundraiser..." When Cassandra stared blankly, Shelby continued. "Don't play dumb with me. And it was just so you could accidentally run into the director of that show you wanted to be in."

"Shelby, Shelby…" Cassandra smirked and wagged a finger in front of her wife. "You wound me with your words. You know full well that the real reason I did not join the Y is because I didn't want those snotty kids staring at my ass while I was working out. Politics are a small part of the issue here-"

"Not that snotty white men staring at your ass bothered you too much when we were going to the country club regularly," Shelby countered, clicking open the minimized box of their bank statement and looking at their account balance. They had another mouth to feed now. They also had yet to set up a college fund for Rachel. Why couldn't Cassandra work out in the basement or something? "I thought you liked Maurice as a home trainer? He gets you those smoothies with passion fruit that you like. I can buy you an elliptical, you have that weight set here, the stripper pole in the garage, and we could hang your silks again if you wanted a real full body workout. Then you'll never want for anything."

Cass rolled her eyes and turned her laptop around so that Shelby could view the YMCA web page. Instead of opening up about her desire to work out with a professional that could regulate a regimented exercise and diet plan, (so she could finally take back her body without Shelby's cautious eye), she countered with an upbeat reply.

"Look at what they are offering up as a family plan," Cassandra made her case. "We could even put Dee on it for her yoga and tai chi crap. Rachel has never had swim lessons, we could get her into those, and they even have a swim class for little babies like Cady. You already told me how those women in your book club take that spin class and invited you to go, but couldn't because it was during the semester...well, it's summer now."

When Shelby pulled the laptop towards her, Cassandra knew she was starting to reel her in. "How much are we talking about…?" Shelby asked, not looking at Cassandra anymore but staring at her wife's laptop screen. "Is there a membership fee, or just a monthly cost?"

Shelby asking a question meant it wasn't a definite "no". Cassandra sat quietly, keeping her expression purposefully blank. Though pleased that she was going to get her way about this, her thoughts drifted back to earlier in the day, and the conversation she and Shelby had had with Rachel in the dance studio. Dark thoughts threatened to intrude her mind again to the point that Shelby's voice startled her when she spoke again.

"What?" Cassandra said, knowing she had not been paying attention to whatever her wife was asking.

"I said, the YWCA has the same opportunities, and cheaper at that. We could save fifty dollars a month. I know it's not in the city limits like the other one is, but it's not a bad drive. And I doubt we would run into as many of our students or their families, so it might be a little more private for us. We definitely can't keep affording the country club, and we wouldn't be allowed to take the girls there anyways…." Shelby proposed back.

"Well, I guess.." Cassandra's voice broke off when a folded up piece of paper was thrown in front of her at the table as her nine-year-old daughter rocked back and forth on her toes and then promptly ran upstairs.

Cassandra blinked and turned the paper around in her hands. Her name was scribbled on it in careful handwriting and she sucked in a slow breath, unsure if she was ready yet to revisit the conversation they'd had. She stared at it for a long time before Shelby's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"What's that?" Shelby asked, leaning over to try and read it. She hated the feeling that she got watching Rachel run out of the kitchen so quickly, so eager to get away from them, and wondered how long it would take for that tension to go away.

"I don't know, it looks like a letter," Cassandra said, opening the paper. It hurt her heart that Rachel felt like she couldn't just say these things out loud to her, but she understood it.

Shelby blinked, confused and before she could respond; Rachel appeared shyly at the bottom of the attic stairs; rocking back and forth.

Mama, I promise I will always be your daughter. When things are good and when things aren't. I promise I will try to not do things that make you sad. If I mess up or say something mean, I promise I will say I'm sorry and really mean it, not just say it. You are special, Mama, and even though you don't always think so, I know so and so does Mommy. Things are really hard right now, but I believe you that they won't always be. I just miss you and how things were before Cady. That's all.

I love you,

Rachel

PS: I know that if I am you won't hurt me. You are my Mama forever and ever. I am sorry I said mean things to you. I am just mad you are spending so much time with the baby.

Another PS: I like to write more than to talk. Ok?

Cassandra's heart raced a little faster than normal and she shakily set the paper down on her laptop keyboard in front of her, unsure what to do. "I guess I'm going to write her a letter back...do we have a pen and paper anywhere?"

Shelby blinked, confused, and before she could respond, Rachel appeared shyly at the bottom of the attic stairs, rocking back and forth.

"Mommy, can I please go outside and play?" She asked, looking directly into Shelby's eyes but unable to even glance in Cassandra's direction. Cassandra swallowed and stared at the paper in front of her.

"Of course you can, honey, thank you for asking. Make sure to come in and check in with us every once in a while, okay?" Shelby smiled at her little girl and ran a loving hand through her hair. "Are you sure you don't want to get dressed before you go back out?"

Rachel shook her head and ran almost as soon as she had the "go ahead". She could not get out of the kitchen fast enough. It was not that she was ashamed of what she had written to her Mama, it was more that she was afraid of her Mama's response. More specifically, she was afraid of rejection. Deep down, Rachel didn't think that ever would happen, but that didn't mean it was not a fear that she had. She always had that worry. The worry of being abandoned again.

The bright sunshine on Rachel's face distracted her dark thoughts. She loved her backyard, and she loved the feel of the grass brushing against the side of her bare feet. She loved the puff balls that came up in the yard that she could pick and blow and scatter the seeds in the wind. Mommy told her that those were wishes- that if she made a wish and blew on the puff ball, the wish might come true.

All her life, she had never remembered being able to just go outside and play. Honestly, even with the therapy she'd been going through, she had a hard time remembering anything before the Reverend, and all he ever wanted to do was pray. Mommy and Mama did fun things with her, but they didn't play outside with her very often. Rachel figured that was because they didn't know how to play pretend in a way that wasn't professional, for theatre.

So, for now, Rachel played by herself and sometimes with Barbra. Cats didn't really like to play, though. So Rachel ran to the bucket of chalk Auntie Lena had brought for her to practice her math and letters with outside on the pavement. Practicing for school was okay and all, but Rachel found that she would much rather draw pictures with all the different colors.

With her Mama still on her mind, Rachel drew a star. First a big star, and then a little star. That looked nice, but Rachel thought that it wasn't quite finished yet, so she picked up the pink chalk and drew a heart, too. This was because she and Mama were in each other's hearts. Now it looked better, but there was still something she needed to add to make it perfect, she decided. Taking the pink chalk once more, Rachel made a huge heart, which gave her just enough room to draw one more thing. With green chalk, she traced out a green star, the same color as her mother's eyes, so that it and Mama's star were together. A family.

Rachel heard Cadence's cries from the upstairs window. She had lungs so powerful that Rachel figured she would end up being a singer too. It gave Rachel pause, because she realized that she had not put the baby or Barbra in the picture at all, and they were also technically part of the family. The problem was that Rachel was not sure where to put Cadence. It wasn't that she wanted the baby to be left alone, but she also wasn't entirely happy with the idea of Cadence crashing her family picture. Decidedly, Rachel picked up the yellow chalk and carefully drew a tiny sun. She placed it on her Mama's heart, because it seemed to fit there.

Rachel stood and brushed her dirty hands on the bottom of her nightgown, leaving streaks of pink, green and yellow. She liked this. She liked this alot, so much so that she wanted to share it with her Mama and Mommy. It sort of said what she wasn't very good at saying. This was so much better than talking. She just hoped they would both understand.

. . .

"Why don't you just go talk to her?" Shelby asked her wife, gesturing outside and reaching for the letter to read for herself.

"She doesn't want to talk," Cassandra shrugged. "I have to respect that. At least she hasn't disowned me completely..." she rustled through a couple of spare drawers in the kitchen in search of a notepad before giving up and running to her studio. When she returned with a clipboard and pen, Shelby set the letter down and nodded.

"Well, she apologized, that's a start," Shelby said after a silence. Cassandra wet her lips. Her wife was trying but she wasn't in the mood.

"I don't want to talk about it, Shelby," she said as she thought about what to respond to her nine-year-old.

Shelby sighed. "Cassie… you know she didn't mean what she said."

"Shelby, if she didn't think it or mean it at least a little bit, she wouldn't have said it. She's afraid of me, and she has every right to be mad that I haven't been paying attention to her," Cassandra said, beginning to write her response letter. She took more time to write than she normally would, understanding that Rachel would not be able to read her sloppy cursive.

"So what, you're just going to write letters back and forth to each other and never speak in person?" Shelby asked, incredulously. She started moving about the kitchen in an attempt to start throwing something together for dinner. They were meant to have a family potluck and she hadn't started on her promised spaghetti salad or on the cupcakes she told Lena she would make. "That's ridiculous, you live together, you have to talk sometime…"

"And I'm sure we will," Cassandra cut her off. "Just not about this."

Little Star,

I called you that when your mommy and I found you. You are my twinkling light in the sky. I love you very much always and nothing will ever change that. Because you are being honest with me, I will do the same with you. It hurts to think you would be afraid of me or to think I would ever hurt you. I hope you know that I would never, ever hurt you. I am not like your past parents, and I know that's hard to get out of that mindset sometimes. You have been through so much in your young life.

I accept your apology.

Rachel, please know that words hurt, so you have to be careful to always think before you speak. Words are a very powerful tool that we can use to express our feelings, but we have to know the force behind what we say can be damaging to others. I make mistakes with words I say sometimes too. That is something that we spend our whole lives learning.

I am truly sorry that things have been so crazy. I am going to do my best to balance my time better, but I need you to be patient with Mama, alright? I promise to be better. I know I have not been a very good Cassie the Brave lately. I promise I am going to fix it.

We have to tell each other when we are upset in a calm, nice way, before our emotions make us so mad that we say things we don't always mean. Writing letters like this is a good start for us.

I love you, Little Star.

And no matter what that will never, EVER change. I cannot stress this enough.

Love,

Mama Cassie (the Brave)

Cassandra folded the letter and left the kitchen, making her way up to Rachel's room while she knew she was busy outside. She searched the room for a moment in contemplation before moving towards the little girl's bedside table and slipping the letter into the front page of her princess book, which was sitting on the table in preparation for story time before bed that night. She knew Rachel would find it, because she always tried to read ahead.

After lingering in the bedroom for a moment and letting out a sad sigh, she stepped out into the upstairs hall and closed the door behind her. She popped her head into Cadence's room briefly to check that she was still taking her mid morning nap before racing back down the stairs and sitting up at the kitchen counter to continue working on her computer, as if nothing happened.

"Cassandra, I think we need to talk..." Shelby said, draining the noodles for her spaghetti salad. "Like what this morning was about?"

Cassandra did not look up from her laptop. She pretended to be scrolling through something and only half listening, but she was fully immersed in the conversation. "I can't have sex with my wife without there being some kind of motive?"

"That's not what I'm saying and you know that, please don't be so defensive with me," Shelby said. "What happened before that?"

Cassandra's sudden gear change was giving her whiplash. Rachel was right in the sense that Cassandra had been acting off since their return from New York, and although Shelby knew it was perfectly logical and acceptable for Cassandra to not be feeling like herself after all that had happened, she needed to feel that their communication with one another was still open.

"I just had a bad dream, Shelby." Cassandra was being so incredibly vague that it was driving Shelby insane. She set the bowl she was working on down a little harder on the counter before she spoke again. Cassandra looked up in response, her eyes widening when Shelby spoke again.

"God dammit, Cassandra, stop acting so weird. What is wrong?" Shelby said, stopping what she was doing to look up and willing her wife to look her in the eyes. "What is going on with you?"

"Shelby, stop acting like you know everything," Cassandra's voice raised and she finally made full eye contact with Shelby. "I said I don't want to talk about it, so just let it go, okay? Jesus, if I'd known it was going to be this big of a deal-"

"It's not that the sex was a big deal, it's just that-" Shelby protested.

"Oh. Noted." Cassandra's stare turned lifeless. "Shelby, I just can't do this right now, okay?"

"Cassandra, stop it. That's not what I mean, you know that. Why are you acting like this?" Shelby felt desperate for her wife to cooperate. It was as if she didn't know who anyone was anymore and she felt like she was truly losing her mind. "I don't want to fight with you. We have this family thing tonight, can we just-"

"You started it, Shelby, why are you acting like I'm the one that's fighting?" Cassandra was getting frustrated. She knew she was being ridiculous by warping what Shelby was saying, but she felt irrationally irritated and felt like once she started she just couldn't stop.

Shelby stared at her wife, feeling dumbfounded and speechless. Cassandra turned her attention back to her computer but she was too worked up to focus. Her chest felt tight and she could feel Shelby's intense stare on her. She knew she owed her wife an apology but she was just not in the proper headspace.

"Cassandra. I'm your partner," Shelby pushed. "But I can't help you through all of this if you don't let me."

"Shelby." Cassandra stood, shutting her laptop and holding her hands up above her head in defeat. "I feel like I can't even breathe correctly, so if you could just PLEASE back off." She turned on her heel to lock herself in her studio. The walls felt like they were closing in on her already, and Shelby's voice felt like it was reverberating through her head.

"You can't run from this, Cassandra," Shelby called out after her, feeling helpless. She didn't understand why Cassandra was pushing her away. They were supposed to work through things together.

Cassandra ignored Shelby's last words. She knew deep down that Shelby didn't mean what she was saying as a dig, but it felt like one. Cassandra locked the door to the studio and felt herself slide against the back wall and into a sitting position on the floor, her legs pulled into her chest. She pulled her sweatshirt over her hands and put her head into her knees, trying to gain her breath support back and feeling incredibly small. Everything felt like it was just too much. She could feel her chest rising and falling, but she could also feel herself losing focus. Her mind kept spacing out, no matter how hard she tried to keep it from doing so. Simultaneously, her thoughts looped through her mind and her mind felt completely blank, and she was trying to figure out how both could be happening. It wasn't that she couldn't tell Shelby how she was feeling, it was just that she felt so overwhelmed that she wasn't ready yet to put those emotions into words.

The first thing Cassandra noticed when she came back into herself was that she was sitting with her back to the wall by the window. Warm sunlight was flooding the room, and Barbra had taken ownership of the spot beside her that was currently being flooded by sunbeams. Cassandra gave her pet a suspicious look.

"How did you get in here, diva? I thought you were outside..." Cassandra said as her beloved Siamese gave her a contented glance, thumping the wooden floor with her tail. "I distinctly remember closing the..." Cassandra glanced over at the door. It was not quite closed, and it quickly became clear to Cassandra that the woman who treated her better than she deserved sometimes had slipped the cat into the room for comfort. Shelby must have not shut the door completely so she didn't disturb her. Cassandra scooted into the light and pushed her hood off of her head, letting the warm sunshine soak into her face. Barbra pushed herself up off of the floor and walked towards her mistress with a welcoming, "Merp". She cocked her head, letting Cassandra scratch behind her ear in the sweet spot.

"You are always here when I need you," Cassandra told her furry friend, who reacted to the soft scratches with a rumbling purr.

The dancer said nothing else for a few minutes, content to stroke Barbra's fur, sometimes changing it up with a scratch under her chin or behind her ear. She found herself calming after a while, and took several cleansing breaths. Once her chest felt less constricted, Cassandra's thoughts drifted back to Shelby.

"I could have handled that better," Cassie mumbled under her breath, cringing at her own reaction to Shelby reaching out to her and trying to understand. "She can't possibly understand, but she's just trying to help..."

Cassandra could have sworn that Barbra nodded at her. That was until she realized that she was cleaning her fur around her head and shoulder. The cat stopped her impromptu cleaning session to give Cassandra another "merp" and then "merp, merp".

"And, for all the joking and how I act sometimes, I am really sensitive about sex..." Cassandra admitted, "It's my thing...you know?" she shared, knowing full well she was only sharing this with her cat because, unlike a human being, her Siamese would not and could not carry on a conversation back or judge her. "I am not good at talking about my feelings or figuring out what's wrong with me. Therapy only helps so much, too..." she added, smiling down at Barbra who seemed happy to move into the dancer's toned, crossed legs. Up the hall, Cassandra could hear Shelby singing to herself as she worked in the kitchen to prepare for the backyard get together.

I love her voice, Cassandra thought to herself. I can lose myself in it. When was the last time I just sat back and listened to her sing? She found herself thinking back. Last year?

Was that right? Had it really been that long since she let herself just enjoy Shelby's voice for the hell of it, and not for professional reasons? Cassandra let Shelby's sultry tone sweep over her in an emotional moment where time was just a concept. Barbra took that moment to turn in her arms and reach over, licking the dancer's hand with her rough tongue.

"Sorry Diva, got lost in my thoughts," Cassandra told the Siamese, resuming her strokes. "With my self analyzing shit. I just had a fucked up thought go through my mind...What if after that dream I had asked Shelby to sing to me instead of resorting to sex as a coping mechanism?"

Cassandra swallowed hard and tried to blink back the negative demons that were spiraling through her mind. Barbra with her own feline way was helping her sort through her mess of thoughts. Saying them outloud to someone who wasn't human and couldn't judge or try to fix it made her feel better. She realized that Rachel was not the only one that benefited from a good human to cat talk. It seemed that Shelby somehow knew this was exactly what she needed.

Gods, I really don't deserve her but I am glad she's mine, Cass thought to herself. Not that I am in the mood to talk anymore about it now than I was earlier...but I think she gets that. If she didn't she would have knocked down the door by now.

She stared around her empty studio, missing her students but grateful she had the time to decompress. If she had to teach classes on top of all of the other thoughts blazing through her head she felt like she'd spontaneously combust, and there was no good way to explain to your child and surrounding family that your whole world is on fire. It wasn't fair of her, she knew, to bottle up her emotions and then take them out on Shelby. Even if she didn't know how to talk about what she was feeling, it wasn't Shelby's fault that she was so uncomfortable and on edge.

Cassandra pulled herself into a standing position, stretching her body until her back popped in several spots. She sighed and rolled her neck a few times, trying to release some of the tension there as well. She thought back to Shelby's comments about the putting the stripper pole and her silks back to work, and she decided it was a good time to break them back out, if for nothing else but her own physical health.

Shelby had stopped singing, Cassandra noticed after a moment. She picked up her beloved Siamese and cradled her in her arms as she stepped out of her studio. She left Barbra in the foyer, knowing that if Shelby saw her in the kitchen she would throw a fit.

"I've missed hearing you sing for fun," Cassandra said, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen. Shelby looked up from her food prep and gave her wife a smirk, locking eyes for a moment and then turning her attention back to her task. She still had to make her cupcakes for the dinner and everyone would be there in a couple of hours. "Honey, I'm sorry," Cassandra continued.

Shelby stopped making her batter and pressed her lips together. "I don't want to fight with you again," she started.

"I'm not here to fight with you," Cassandra said. "I've never been good at talking about deep things, but I know that isn't an excuse."

Shelby crossed her arms over her chest, not unkindly, but in thought. "I get why you're on edge, that's not why I'm upset."

"No, I know why you're upset," Cassandra walked towards her. "I need to communicate better. Sex is always the answer for me, but it isn't enough for you to just know that I'm struggling. It's not fair of me to cry out for help like that when you don't know what's troubling me. The conversation with Rachel really threw me this morning. It opened my eyes and overwhelmed me because I felt like I've been doing my best and I'm so frustrated that my best is nowhere near enough for everybody and I need to be better. I need to stop being so conceited."

Shelby reached her arms out for her wife to fall into a hug. "You're not conceited, a lot has happened. Rachel doesn't know how to process it any better than you do. I get it, love. Let's try to put this morning past us, okay?" Cassandra nodded into Shelby's neck and Shelby moved out of the hug to place a kiss to Cassandra's forehead. "I love you. Let's go see what Rachel has been up to, okay?"

"Okay," Cassandra said softly, grateful that Shelby hadn't made the conversation into a bigger topic than she was ready for. Although she was dramatic and often theatrical, she hated when fights and making up sometimes had to turn into a massive production. To her, that didn't feel as genuine. "I love you, too." she followed Shelby's lead out to the back porch.

The women stopped and smiled, seeing the hearts and stars that Rachel had colored while she was out playing. It was so totally Rachel- big, bright and full of color. The section of their driveway to the side of their house had become one large canvas, and it was not lost on either woman that this was more than a child's pretty picture.

Rachel wanted to get Barbra just right. She was not quite sure of what color chalk to use to make a cat. She had ended up using the white chalk to capture her Siamese essence, because she wanted it to be perfect. She wanted her mothers to hopefully understand it without her having to explain it. The little girl heard the back door close and jumped up abruptly at the sudden clamour in the silence.

"We didn't mean to scare you, sweetheart," Shelby smiled as she and Cassandra stepped out onto the porch. "What are you working on out here? Are you about ready to come inside and help me frost these cupcakes?"

Rachel usually jumped at the thought of frosting cupcakes. She shook her head no in this instance, though. This was more than just a pretty picture. Didn't they realize that? Rachel gave Cassandra a shy look. She desperately wanted her to understand and to talk to her about it.

Cassandra separated from Shelby and took a few more steps towards Rachel, crouching down to get on her level. "What do you have there, little star? Is that you and me?" she took in the stars and hearts and her heart felt heavy. Why am I the worst?

"This is you," Rachel explained, getting on her knees so she could reach forward and point to the bigger of the two stars. "And this is me," she said. "We are right together. You see? Right. And then we are in the same heart. It's pink because it's love and we love each other." Rachel quickly continued, then stopped abruptly once she realized she was giving her all the answer. She looked up at Cassandra expectantly, desperately hoping that her Mama understood. Mommy was walking around to take in the picture as a whole. That was good, right? They were supposed to be talking to her about it by now.

"It's beautiful, Rachel," Cassandra said. "Thank you. You're right, we are right together and we do love each other. Even when sometimes we go through hard times, we still love each other. Right?"

Rachel nodded and exhaled a breath she didn't know she was holding. The look her Mama gave her was one of warmth, love and forgiveness. It was enough to make Rachel burst into tears. She could not get into Cassandra's arms fast enough.

"Oh," Cassandra vocalized in shock at the sudden contact, but smiled and accepted Rachel in a tight hug. "Please never forget how much I love you, little star." she whispered into her daughter's ear. "No matter what, okay? Remember, we're keepers?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Rachel cried softly into her Mama's neck. "We are in the same heart. We are, you know. I know." Rachel pulled away, just far enough to find her Mommy's eyes. "I'm sorry to you too, Mommy. I don't mean to cause more trouble for you and Mama."

"I'm the one that is sorry, Little Star," Cassandra said kindly. "I'm causing all kinds of trouble in this house right now, and you deserve more than that."

Rachel turned in Cassandra's arms so her back was against her chest. She leaned into the blonde, her heart warming when an arm was wrapped around her small waist. "Mommy, you are in the picture too. Don't you see it?" Rachel pointed over at the green star and looked at Shelby expectantly with big brown eyes.

"I do, sweetheart," Shelby smiled, crouching down on her knees as well and looking her daughter in the eyes. "We are all keepers. Just like we always have been, yeah?" Rachel nodded, and Shelby leaned forward, making a Mama sandwich hug where Rachel was the peanut butter and her moms were the bread. "Now. Come help me frost these cupcakes just you, me, and Mama before the baby wakes up and our guests arrive? I'll let you lick the frosting off when we're done..." the offer lingered on her voice and finally she watched her little girl perk up excitedly.

"Hold the fort Shelbs, I think this little artist needs to explain the rest of her work first. Is that Barbra?" Cassandra asked, picking up the white chalk and adding whiskers to what was obviously a cat with triangle ears and a curvy tail. "And what is that last thing, Little Star? Why does my star have a yellow snowflake on it?"

"Mama, that's not a snowflake, that's Cady," Rachel explained, her voice tentative because she wanted to make sure it was okay that she had added her. Rachel felt shy and hoped her mothers would not be mad that Cadence was not in the big heart, but just in Mama's star. Neither parent frowned at her, however, so maybe they understood that she was trying. "Mommy, can you take a picture of my picture?:

"Sure honey," Shelby said, pulling her phone out of the pocket of her "housework sundress" and snapping a few different angles of the masterpiece with a note in the back of her mind to print the picture later and hang it on the fridge in the kitchen. Rachel smiled, proud of herself.

Shelby and Cassandra shared a look. Rachel's picture on the driveway did say a lot about where her head was with the sudden changes in the home. Cadence was in the picture, which was one thing they both noticed, but Rachel's careful placement of Cadence in only Cassandra's star was not lost on either of them. They would speak more at another time.

"I'm ready now, Mommy," Rachel spoke, oblivious to Shelby and Cassandra's conversation they were having without speaking. Rachel didn't let Shelby finish before she looked over at her other mother. "Mama, don't let anybody park on my picture, okay? Nobody!"

"Not going to happen, Little Star," Cassandra called out to a departing Rachel, who was following her Mommy to the kitchen. "I could never let Stef with her S.U.V. ride over the Corcoran- July family's heart."

While waiting for Cassandra to join them back in the house, Shelby leaned against the counter and looked through the pictures she had taken of Rachel's drawing. She sent them in a group text to Stef, Lena, Holly, and April, with the note, Be careful you don't park on Rachel's drawing! She's very proud of it. Making your cupcakes now. See you all soon! Xo. Then she set her phone down on the kitchen counter, and moved to help Rachel wash her hands so they could bake as a family.