Jay's POV

We drive back from the cabin feeling happy. Every time we look at each other we laugh because we are genuinely giddy. If we smile any bigger the top of our faces might split off. I didn't know it was even possible to be this elated, this in love. It's different than anything I've felt before. Hailey is everything to me. Nothing matters without her. From now on, all my efforts, everything—everything I do – is to create a greater me, for her, a me worthy of her love.

As soon as Chicago's distinctive skyline, anchored by the John Hancock Center and the Sears Tower, comes into view, reality punctures our blissful romantic bubble. In my periphery I catch a glimpse of the conflicting emotions rippling across Hailey's face. I take my eyes off the wheel to glance at her, knowing exactly what's going on in her head. "We'll take it a day at a time," I assure her.

Hailey nods and offers me what she thinks is a convincing smile. It's not. "I'm not ready to return to reality just yet," she says with a soft sigh.

"If you want we can still pretend we're at the cabin." I wink and a rosy blush appears on her sun-kissed cheeks. "I can buy those pine tree air fresheners," I offer, "Hang it all around the apartment…"

She shakes her head and laughs. "That won't be necessary." A real smile covers her face and she squeezes my hand. "Sooner or later I'm going to have to face this. No reason in delaying it, right?"

I nod and I pull her hand to my lips, pressing a kiss on her knuckles. A glint from my mom's ring on her finger catches my eyes and I smile. "Stay with me tonight?" I ask her.

"Only if you order take-out. I'm starving."

"Anything for my future wife." The words slides from my mouth, naturally. I've never felt so sure of anything in my life.

Hailey's face breaks into a smile and her cheeks flush pink. "Future wife, huh?"

I can see Hailey rolling the word over in her mind, liking the sound of it.

Wife.

"That's the point of the whole ring thing, you know?" I say and the smile on her face warms my heart.

She nudges my arm and laughs. She clears her throat and says, "So, when do we tell everyone?"

"It's up to you," I say. "They know about us. Maybe Hank will be more forgiving and open to us working together knowing this isn't just a fling. We do make a hell of a team."

She nods in agreement. "Yeah. We'll tell them right away. I don't want tip toe around Voight, or the team."

"Deal."

We arrive at my apartment building just as the sun is setting. We eat take out and after Hailey is asleep, I decide to catch up on a few emails from work. Minutes later I hold back a sigh, regretting my decision. Turns out, Tony wasn't completely transparent with the FEDs and Hailey will most likely have to testify in open court. Every time I think we take a step forward, it always follows with two steps back. Having to relive the memories of what happened in front of a jury is the lasts thing I want for her.

I look at Hailey's sleeping form and she looks so peaceful. I watch her chest rise and fall, none of her worries can be seen on her face. She deserves to looks this serene all the time. I close my laptop and gather her to me. She stirs and her eyes flutters open. Sleepy blue irises look slightly unfocused at me. "Hey," she murmurs, and an incredibly sweet, drowsy smile curves her lips. "Everything okay?"

I caress her cheek and touch the corner of her drowsy smile. "Everything is fine. Go back to sleep."

Her back extends with an inhale, her breath tickling my chest when it rushes out. "You sure?"

"I'm sure." I kiss the top of her head and her response is a wordless sigh of contentment. She stretches, drawing the covers over her shoulders, and goes back to sleep. My conscious mind also surrenders to the lethargy winding my body. Tomorrow, I think. We can talk tomorrow. Besides, this might take a few weeks before the district attorney is ready to go to trial.

In the meantime, we sleep.

Hailey's POV

I never noticed how claustrophobic these witness waiting rooms are. I've been inside them a million times, but they are definitely smaller than I remember. I feel stifled within these four walls. I begin to pace back and forth anxiously trying to calm my nerves.

Inhale. Exhale. Deep. Slow.

I've been solid about testifying; fully aware I would have to relive the worse day of my life in front of a jury. But now the thought is making my stomach churn. I don't know what will happen when all the memories resurface, or when I see Tony's face. I've come so far. The last thing I want is to trigger a relapse. I continue pacing, avoiding Jay's eyes, as I wait for the bailiff to call me in.

"Babe…"

"I'm fine, Jay," I tell him, despite knowing he can see the worry on my face.

"Hey…" I feel his arms slowly wrap around me, immobilizing me. I don't resist. I turn in his embrace, and then his lips are on my forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, and lips. "I love you," he says and adds, "And I'm so proud of you." He speaks slow and soft. "I can't imagine how hard this is, but if anyone can do this. You can do this."

He pulls me to him and embraces me so tight I can feel his heart beating on my chest. As much as I want to hide my feelings from him at times, right now I'm glad he can tell how upset I am. His eyes are soft as he puts his hand on my cheek. "Everything will be okay," he says and at that moment, I believe him.

The door to the waiting room opens and Voight peeks his head inside, "They are ready for you, Hailey," he says.

I let out a breath. My heart is racing and my stomach is in knots.

"Hey, you got this," Jay says, giving my shoulder a quick squeeze of assurance. He kisses my lips once again and says, "I will see you inside."

I nod and follow Voight out.

The bailiff opens the door to the courtroom and I slowly enter, hearing everyone shifting in their seats to look at me. I dare to look about and note the number of people present, while also observing the many familiar faces. My eyes catch Jay's as he enters the courtroom from the back, a bright and hopeful smile lights up his face. I feel a small ounce of relief, but it is short-lived when Tony's face comes into view. He looks stunned, eyes wide - like he is seeing a ghost.

I take my place on the witness stand and am sworn in. The lawyer from the prosecution, Peter Stone, slowly stands up behind his table.

"Would you please state your name and occupation for the record?" he asks.

"My name is Hailey Upton. I'm a detective with the Chicago police department."

"You are a decorated officer, detective Upton." He sifts through a few pieces of paper in front of him and adds, "Multiple awards, merit medals, special commendation—"

"Objection, relevance?" Tony's lawyer pipes up.

"Determines the witness's character," Stone says.

"Overruled. Continue, but make it brief Mr. Stone," the judge says.

"In fact, detective, you were meritoriously promoted to detective because of your outstanding service and dedication to the citizens of Chicago. So, tell me how you came to cross paths with the defendant."

"I worked undercover in his club."

"Why was the Chicago police department investigating Mr. Ramos?"

"We had reason to believe his club was a front for a sex trafficking ring."

Stone continues his line of questioning leading up to Tamara's death. We rehearsed this and I feel somewhat at ease. But I know the meat of my testimony is coming and I need to remain composed if I'm to get through it unscathed.

"What happened when you went to Mr. Ramos's club after Tamara's body was found in a dumpster?"

I take a deep breath, my mind slowly turning dark. "Tony was taken aback that I had arrived unannounced. He seemed under the influence and kept asking if I wanted to take him up on his offer to sleep with his clients for extra cash. When I turned him down he got physical. He tried to force himself on me and when I fought back he had his bodyguards retrain me. Then they blindfolded me and drove me to one of his stash houses in Pilsen. They locked me in a basement and drugged me."

The prosecutor pulls out two pieces of paper from one of the folders on his bench and hands one to the judge and the other to me. "Please tell the court what you have in your hand."

"This is my tox screen from that night."

"Would you mind telling the court what drugs were found in your system?"

"Clonazepam, GBH, ketamine, and MDMA."

"Date rape drugs," Stone clarifies to the jury. There's a beat of silence before the lawyer adds, "Did Mr. Ramos rape you?"

My eyes briefly dart around the courtroom and land on Jay's. He gives me an imperceptible nod of his head. Nail this prick. I clear my throat and answer, "Yes."

"No further questions, Your Honor. The prosecution rests."

The defendant's lawyer stands up for the cross examination. "Detective Upton," he says in a high squeaky voice providing a glimpse of yellow tobacco stained teeth. "I'm truly sorry for what you went through. I really am."

I nod, unsure what's his angle with the fake sympathy.

"You said my client's bodyguards blindfolded you and took you to an unknown location, correct?"

"Yes."

"So you didn't see my client at this basement?"

"I saw him when he was on top of me, raping me," I state through gritted teeth, feeling a sharp stab of anxiety, deep in my chest.

"Which was after you were drugged, correct?" he asks.

"Yes."

The lawyer paces around and I can see he is holding the results of my tox screen in his hand. "Did you fight your attacker?"

His question seems like a trap. "I tried, but couldn't," I tell him.

"Because of all the drugs in your system, correct?"

"Yes."

He takes a moment before formulating his next question. "The police report states that five girls were found in that basement with you and two died from the same drug cocktail that was in your system. Did you know that?"

"Objection, You Honor," the prosecutor interjects. "Relevance."

"I will allow."

"Answer the question, detective Upton," the defense lawyer insists.

"Yes. I was aware two girls overdosed."

"On the same drug cocktail that kept you from fighting off your attacker, correct?"

"Correct."

"Now tell me, detective Upon, how can you be sure it was my client who raped you? I'm not a doctor, but the amount of drugs present on your tox screen would have rendered a horse unconscious."

"Objection! The counsel is testifying."

"Sustained."

"Apologies, Your Honor, I will rephrase. Detective Upton, I'm certain you are aware that the side effects of those drugs include confusion and memory loss. So, is it possible you imagined seeming my client attack you because you presumed him to be responsible for Tamara's death, despite finding zero evidence of foul play at his club?"

I shake my head. The memories I've suppressed over the last few months start to resurface. I'm currently riding every wave of emotion you can imagine. I squeeze my eyes shut, clenching my jaw as the horror of those images assails my mind as fresh and new as the day it happened.

"Please answer the question, detective."

Jay's POV

Tears pool in Hailey's eyes and I can see that she is fighting to regain control. I know the memories from that night are playing in her head like a horror movie. I can't stand to see her like this – vulnerable – after she'd been so strong. I'm keeping my outward appearance calm, but internally I'm raging. Our eyes meet for a brief moment and it is as if she's trying to decide if I am ready to hear what she's about to say. I'm not. I'm will never be ready to hear what happened, but I nod my head.

"I remember everything," her voice breaks. "I remember the smell of mildew and bleach in that basement. I remember the stupid grin on your client's face when he watched me struggle. The last thing he said to me before he raped me was, I'm going to enjoy this. You should too."

She details her attack further and every word is like a gut punch to my stomach. I close my eyes and my mind travels like a low-lying fog back to that day. The way I found her bloody and unconscious, the fear in her eyes, the bruises on her body…It's a lot to process right now.

Tony's lawyer ends his line of questions shortly after, realizing Hailey's words hit a chord with the jury. After a few redirecting questions from Stone, Hailey exits the stand. I meet her back at the witness waiting room and am thankful when she wraps her arms around me and buries her face against my chest. She sniffles a little as I stroke a hand down her spine and murmur how much I love her; how incredible I think she is.

"You are amazing," I say. If we weren't in this room I would kiss each of those tear tracks on her cheeks, bind her to me and make her feel safe. "Want to head home?"

At that she draws back and wipes the few tears on her cheeks and nods. "I would like nothing more."

x

The trial drags for an additional five days, but once it is over the jury deliberates for only a couple of hours before they find Tony Ramos guilty on all charges. Three days later he is sentenced to two consecutive life sentences without a chance of parole. Tony Ramos and the rest of his cronies aren't seeing the light of day for the remainder of their insignificant life.

Hailey and I move in together after that, and during breakfast one morning, she casually drops a bomb on me. She is…late.

"W-What do you mean you're late?"

"I mean 'I'm late' as in I haven't gotten my period yet."

I sit there shocked in silence with Hailey looking at me, waiting for me to react, to say something. Then I manage to gather my wits and ask, "A-Are you sure?"

"That I'm late? Yes, Jay. I'm sure."

"How late?" I blurt out like an idiot.

She turns her whole body towards me so our knees touch. "Two months."

I rake my fingers through my hair and attempt to pull my scattered thoughts together. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

She bites her bottom lip. "I don't know. I thought it was because of stress."

I lean back against my chair and avert my gaze for a moment. Then, meeting her eyes, I smile stunned. Holy shit. "That's, well, wow…" I think about what we were doing two months back, then, "The cabin?"

She shrugs. "Maybe."

"Have you taken a test?"

Hailey shakes her head. "I didn't want to face the finality of that." She inhales and says, "We've also never talked about kids, and this seems like the worst possible moment." She sighs, "So you ready? We have to get going."

I watch walk out of our kitchen as if she hadn't just flipped my world upside down.

About an hour later, after we are settled at work and debriefed on the new case, after I've had a moment to digest the fact that Hailey might me carrying my child, I walk into a pharmacy and buy a pregnancy test. I return to the pen, and when everyone's has dispersed and it's just us, I place the small package on her desk.

She looks at the box, then at me. "Really? You want to do this now?"

"Why not? We need to know," I say.

Unlike her, I can't just put this in the back burner, squeezed between other mundane life occurrences. It's too big. Too important.

We go into the women's bathroom and lock the door. "I guess I just pee on this for three seconds and then we wait five minutes?"

"It says the results should appear within two, but no longer than five. One line means no. Two lines means yes."

"We can use the timer on the phone," she says.

"Well, what about when you're peeing on it?"

She laughs. "Jay, I can count three seconds."

"Make sure you count one-one-thousand two-one—"

"Do you want to come in with me and count?"

There was so much nervous sarcasm in her voice, I hesitant answering. "No." I shake my head. "I will wait here."

She beans me an anxious smile and goes into the bathroom stall. Moments later I hear the toilet flush and Hailey exists holding the test. I study her facial expression and body language. "Hey, whatever that test says, I'm here. You are not alone, okay?"

She looks at me and nods.

I smile and take her hand. "Everything is going to be fine."

I take the test from her jittery fingers and look to see if any lines have appeared, and there's one dark line on the test window. If another line is going to appear, it is taking its time. I set the timer for five minutes and set the wand on the sink.

We hover over it, both staring, waiting for any sign of a second line to appear - any hair of pink to crease down the test strip. Hailey takes her eyes away only to look at the timer.

"The instruction said that most results appear within two minutes. It's been three," she says, anxiety beginning to lace her voice.

"It said five minutes to get one hundred percent accurate results."

We stare some more. The only thing that changes is the control line, which becomes so dark it looks red. But then slowly, very slowly, the second line comes to life in the white rectangle of the pregnancy test. At five minutes, Hailey and I are staring at two, solid pink lines on the pregnancy test.

"Oh my God," she says. "This can't be happening," Hailey mutters mostly to herself.

I continue to stare at the double lines for a few seconds. I'm at a loss for words. I pull Hailey to me and cup her face in my hands, kissing her. I taste tears on our lips, though I don't know if they were hers or mine.

"This is really sudden, Jay." Her voice cracks.

"We'll figure it out. We have time. We don't have to decide anything right this second."

"I'm not ready..."

Tears slide freely down her cheeks, and I can see how scared she is. I gently pull Hailey towards me, wrapping my arms around her. I'm also scared shitless, but I speak softly into her ear, "Hailey, we'll figure it out, okay?" Her arms tighten around me. "Me and you. Together. I promise. We'll figure it out. That's what everyone else does. We'll find a way," I say, though I have no idea what to do. Not only do I not know what to do, but I barely know what else to say except for, "I love you."

Thank you for reading. I wrote this a while ago and never posted because I didn't know this where I wanted to take this fic, but then I said, 'what the hell.' Let me know what you guys think. It will help me gage interest and determine how to proceed. Again, thank you for all your support thus far. Having this community means a lot, especially during these crazy times. Stay safe everyone.